David before the Notre Dame game November 2007


FEBRUARY 5,1999 - JANUARY 6,2008
FOREVER OUR PRECIOUS ANGEL




GO IRISH!!!

This is a journal of his battle against an extremely rare cancer called Pleuropulmonary Blastoma.

Journal

Sunday, July 6, 2008 11:22 AM CDT

6 months ago today my sweet angel left this Earth to join his Nani in Heaven. It seems like an eternity since I have hugged and kissed him and heard his voice. Then again it seems like the process of grieving for him has just begun. I think I have spent quite a bit of time staying busy and avoiding it. I still have many moments that I don't truly believe it or want to. I lay in my bed every night saying to myself "Is he really NEVER coming back?" "I'm really NEVER going to see him again in this lifetime?" As a bereaved parent that is the most unbelieveably difficult thing to come to terms with. It is so agonizing to even try to imagine the rest of your life without your child. It makes me sick to even think about it but that is what I face every day. I feel like I have lost an arm or leg and I have to learn how to get through life in a different way without it. I'm always going to "feel" like it's there but use my other limbs in a different way to get through each day and then rest of my life. So many times during the day I think about him. Something he may have liked or said. Nathan talks about him a lot. He still doesn't quite understand sometimes that David isn't coming back and that's very painful to see. He plays video games and says he's going to show David how well he's doing or he picks him out a toy or candy and saves it for him. I suppose that is his way of coping. It's not fair.

I long to see David jumping from the furniture playing Guitar Hero or hear him argue with Nathan about what channel to watch on TV. I want to make him Nani's spicy pasta and watch him eat 3 bowls of it. I want to buy him a new Notre Dame jersey this year to prepare for the season coming up. I want to take him school shopping to get ready for his 4th grade year. I want him to cuddle up in bed with me and tell me he loves me so much. I want him to hide in the corner of the bunk bed so I can't reach to tickle him before bed. I want to hear him laugh at his favorite cartoons and play his PS3 all day because it's too hot to go outside. I just want to look into his eyes again and tell him how much I love him.

I want my family and my heart whole again.........

David, I miss you and I will love you always and forever...

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E-mail Author: AdriannaP@excite.com

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