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Donny Hawkins Welcome to Donny's Web Page. It has been provided to keep people updated about Donny's condition. Below is a poem written bt his father.
Fear
It's colder than it should be, for this time of year.
My joints are stiff, and everyone seems so tired.
Perhaps it's not the weather, but my inner fear,
That's behind these chills and aches in which I'm mired.
Each day seems eternal, in a gray sort of way,
And food doesn't taste like it ought;
Big game on TV? My emotions don't sway,
It's sleeplessness with which I'm fraught.
I don't know quite when, but some time ago,
The colors of earth began to fade.
It's like I'm in quicksand, deep down below,
Uneasy, but not quite afraid.
Should I effort to pull myself from this gloom?!
Perhaps, but why should I bother?
Each day after next brings more sense of doom,
Though I haven't forgot I'm a father.
That's reason enough, I'll give you that,
But how can I help what I feel?
This lump in my throat, it is big and fat,
My emotions are not made of steel.
You see it's my son, my beautiful boy,
Who is fighting the fight that I should.
Myself I'm a mess, a broken down toy,
Though I'd lie in his place if I could.
I'll testify that Life is not fair,
But a child with cancer is wrong.
To ease his pain is our daily care;
Sometimes he still sings a song.
A good day? A bad? We never do know,
But through it all he still smiles.
His love so abundant, his eyes all aglow,
The joy he brings covering miles.
And yet there's this grayness, seeping in.
Unwelcome, unwanted, unjust.
It's in his face sometimes, his tired twin,
Unwilling, unable, to fuss.
He's more tired than he should be, for this age in life.
My precious angel, my little dear.
Perhaps it's not the cancer, that's giving him such strife,
I just pray to God, it isn't fear.
Steve Hawkins,
Father of Donny,
Age 5.
If you would like to make a donation to the Donald C. Hawkins Assistance account it can be made at any First Union into account # 3090013064752 we have also set up a paypal account goto paypal.com the user id is shawkins@cfl.rr.com.
Journal
Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 11:57 AM (CDT) We lost our little angel on 2-14-02 @ 8:45am. The following is a beautiful tribute to Donny written by a close friend of the family who was always there when we needed him. He truly captured his spirit.
Some fires burn long and steady, warming only those that come close.
Other fires, like DonnyÂ’s, burn so bright and reach so far that they cannot last, but they emit warmth to soothe us long after the embers fade. And a shadow of that amazing light is burned indelibly in our hearts and minds and souls.
DonnyÂ’s fire has warmed us all in so many ways, in ways that will continue to touch us for the rest of our days. How many of us will ever share a bag of M&MÂ’s and not think of him? How many of us will separate the blue ones for Donny, perhaps recalling a specific memory of him as we do so?
How about CheeriosÂ….or DoritosÂ…Â…or Oreos? Will we ever see a T.V. commercial or walk through a grocery store and see them on the shelf without smiling and thinking of Donny? I hope not!
And on and onÂ…..memories of things that were so special to Donny, and therefore made special to the rest of us. Bob The Builder, Cookie Monster, Nana Anna Cookies. DonnyÂ’s fire devoured them all, like he knew all along that it would only burn for a while, and by God he was going to extract every ounce of pleasure from everything and everyone that brought HIM pleasure!!!!
And what about standing in a store to pay for something and pulling out a handful of pennies? I know IÂ’ll always flash back to images of Donny digging his hands in everyoneÂ’s pockets for pennies, and the look of sheer delight in his mischievous eyes when he would find some and add them to his jar!
I have a nickname, given to me special from Donny! If youÂ’re interested, itÂ’s Ketchup Nugget HeadÂ…..and I wear it proudly! Who but Donny could ever conjure up a name like that????
And knock-knock jokesÂ…Â….for the remainder of our days, weÂ’ll hear children tell us knock-knock jokes and wistfully think back on Donny sayingÂ….Will you remember me in one year? Will you remember me in 2 years? AndÂ….well, we all know the rest, right? The point is, who could EVER forget Donny once he set his hook and reeled us into his enormous heart?
As long as I live, IÂ’ll never sit in a stadium and not hear the echo of DonnyÂ’s sweet little voice resonating with his own poignant version of Take Me Out To The Ball GameÂ…..buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks, I donÂ’t care if I never get backÂ…Â….words that he would sing with such innocent conviction, like he knew all along that he was going to the big ball game one day and not coming back. Only heÂ’ll never really leave, as long as his family and the people who love and care about him can share stories and laugh about the joy that he brought to us all!
None of us who has ever been invited to sit at the little table and have a Pepsi party with Donny will ever forget the experience! It was like a rite of passage, an acceptance into some sort of an exclusive club! Never mind that your knees hurt, and you needed help to get up from the diminutive chairsÂ….Donny had requested your presence, and you were grateful and honored and all too happy to oblige! Oh, the nonsense, the serious discussions and the outright love that that little table has seen.
One of my most fond memories of Donny is when he would ask me to sit and draw pictures, stick stickers or color in his books with him. It was obvious that neither one of us was capable of challenging Rembrandt or Van Gogh in an art showÂ…..yet I was always left with the impression that we had created a work of art! And thatÂ’s one of the great lessons that Donny has taught us through the way that he livedÂ…Â…life doesnÂ’t have to be all about what we do for a living, how much we have or how we can get ahead. The true works of art are in the human interactions, the friendships that we forge, the amazing feelings of love, respect and genuine caring when we get right down to the base level that all people share, the space where true connections are made! Donny, of course was the professor of thisÂ…Â….he intuitively knew the lessonsÂ…Â…the rest of us merely wide-eyed, eager students at his feet. Thank you, Donny, from the bottom of our collective hearts, for all that you have taught us. Pam, Steve, Bethany, DannyÂ…..all of the members of the Hawkins and Falzone families that we have been blessed to come to knowÂ….I know that you have all been transformed through the process of DonnyÂ’s life and death. The manner in which each of you lives your lives touches so many around you in such positive ways that you will never fully know. We thank each of you as well. Now is the time to mourn your loss, to grieve and to shed tears for Donny and for each other. Please know that you have friends who love and care for each of you, and you can lean on us anytime for a shoulder and support of any kind.
IÂ’ve got a good idea! Of course, that was DonnyÂ’s catch phraseÂ….and what wonderful ideas he had!!!! Even if the idea was merely to sit down and have a Pepsi party, or to play a game of Connect 4Â…Â…things he had done a thousand times beforeÂ…Â…his ideas were always delivered in such a profoundly excited manner that youÂ’d think he was discovering them for the first time! Lesson 2 from the school of DonnyÂ…..everything is a miracle and nothing lasts forever, so by God youÂ’d better enjoy it!!!!
So, Good-bye for now, little man! We will miss your amazing presence in our physical world, but you will remain in our hearts forever. See ya some day!
Beep beepÂ…..CominÂ’ through!!!
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http://www.geocities.com/donnysmemory/index.html
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