about CaringBridge  |  home page  |  view guestbook  |  view photos  |  read journal history  |  make a tribute donation
 
 

Kristin's Corner !!!
> UPDATE on Journal!


Dear Mom,Dad, Family & Friends,

I know this is a rough time for you. So I will be as gentle as I can be. First of all, thank you for so many tears, particularly those shared with another that you love. They are a gift to me, a precious tribute to your investment in me. As you do your mourning, do it at your pace only. Don't let anybody suggest that you do your grief work on their timetable. Do whatever it takes to face directly the reality of what has happened, even though you may need to pause frequently and yearn for my return. Do this with courage and my blessings. Know that sometimes inertia is the only movement possible. Give your best to keeping a balance between remembering me and renewing your commitments to life. It's okay with me if you go through minutes, hours and even days not thinking about me. I know that you'll never forget. Loosening me and grabbing hold of a new meaning is a delicate art. I'm not sure if one comes before the other or not, maybe it's a combination. Be with people who accept you as you are. Mention my name out loud, and if they don't make a hasty retreat, they're probably excellent candidates for friendship. If, by a remote possibility, you think that there is anything that you could have done for me and didn't. I forgive you, as my Lord does. Resentment does not abide here, only love. You know how people sometimes ask you how many children you have? Well, I'm still yours and you are still my parents. The same goes for my friends too! Always acknowledge that with tenderness, unless to do so would fall on insensitive ears or would be painful to you. I know how you feel inside. To be included as your child or friend honors me. Read, even though your tears anoint the page. There is an immense library here and I have a card. In Henri Nowens' "Out of Solitude", he writes, "The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair and confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
Mom, I don't know where you are spiritually now, but rest assured that our God is not gone. The still small voice you hear in your heart is His voice. The warmth that sometimes enfolds you is Him. The tears that tremble just beneath your heartbeat is Him. He is in you, as I am. I want you all to know that I am okay. I have sent you messages to ease your pain, they come in the form of flowers that bloom out of season, birds singing, voices and visions and sometimes through your friends and even strangers who volunteer as angels. Stay open but don't expect the overly dramatic. You will get what you need and it may be simply an internal peace. You are not crazy, you have been comforted. Please seek out people bereaved longer than you. They are tellers of truth, and if they have done their work, are an inspiration and a beacon of hope whose pain lessened dramatically and one more wisdom before I close. There are still funny happenings in our world. It delights me to no end when I hear your spontaneous, uncontrolled laughter. That, too, will come in due time.
Today, I light a candle for you. Joined with your candle, let their light shine above the darkness.

Affectionately,
Your Angel child.
PS: I'll see you later.

Many thanks to Judy... the above was sent by her and "her Angel Jen" Forever Sweet 16 (AML 94)


Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free!
I follow the plan God laid for me.
I saw His face, I heard His call,
I took His hand and left it all...
I could not stay another day,
to love, to laugh, to work or play;
tasks left undone must stay that way.
And if my parting has left a void,
then fill it with

~ Remembered Joy ~

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss...
Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss.
My life's been full, I've savored much:
good times, good friends,
a loved-one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief-
don't shorten yours with undue grief.
Be not burdened with tears of sorrow.
Enjoy the SUNSHINE of the 'morrow.


Welcome to our daughter Kristin's Web Page!
It was created in 2000 so that we could update friends, family & community about her progress. We hope that it may still bring awareness and insight, of a fight for survival that so many other children & adults are struggling with, just like Kristin did. The enemy was and still is "Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia." Kristin was diagnosed 1/11/00 and was in remisson for 22 months. She relapsed 10/11/01 and entered a "New Phase" in the fight to be Cancer Free. The gift was a bone marrow transplant on 1/18/02 from a 30 yr old male donor from Australia, Kristin's "ANGEL"!

Kristin wrote this letter the week before her transplant:

To a very special man,
I’m not really sure words can express the gratitude I feel toward the gift you have given to me. I have been told that nothing is greater than life, except life itself. I feel that there are two things greater than life itself, the man who created it and a man who saves it. By your kind heart and thoughtful ways I am able to have the chance at a long and happy life. My family, friends, and I want to thank you. You have given me a gift that doesn't ever stop giving not only to myself but to my family and friends as well. So again we thank you. I know that I really can't tell you much about myself but I would like you to know a little about me. I am a 21-year-old female who attends college to receive my license in cosmetology. I am out going and I have a great personality, I have many friends and family that support and love me. I have lived in a small town for most of my life with my parents, older brother and, younger sister. My parents are two remarkable people who have stood by me every moment, from the first day that we found out I had Leukemia; I know that they will be there for me anytime I need them. I also have a passion for dance, I was on the local Middle Schools dance team as well as our High schools Dance team I have won numerous ribbons and awards. Today I choreograph for the local Middle school. I really enjoy this and was honored they asked me. I am currently involved with a wonderful guy; he and I have been a couple for 4 years and 6 months. He and his family have also been wonderfully supportive. I know this is only a brief description about me and, my life but it's a start I hope that one day we are able to speak with one another and learn more about each other and our family and friends. Until then I hope these cards and gifts find you in good health and may all your wishes come true.

Thank you for making my wish come true.

Dear God, My body is broken, I need your help. I fear I will not get well. Please God, send angels to deliver me from my pain and sickness and fear, now. I know salvation is the only true Cure, and yet I doubt when my body hurts. Help me, lord. Please bless my medicine and guide my healers. Thank You, God.
Prayer written by: Marianne Williamson, "You are my Salvation"

*** Kristin lost her courageous battle 8/6/2002. We will continue to update on this site so we may now encourage others to continue and share with you our progress in healing, without our precious daughter! If you would like to to send us a personal e-mail, Please go to the bottom of this page. We would really love for you to sign her guest-book and check out her pictures! Peace be with you & may the Powers that Be, Bless all who visit!











We are so very happy, that a very special lady has designed an Angel Pin for us in honor of Kristin. I finally ordered one for Lauren & myself. Rosemary out did herself, as they are awesome. Please check it out! Designs by Rosemary. Kristin's Angel Pin

Here is the plug again for the Children’s Cancer Stamp. STAMP SIGN UP LINK
The total signatures are over 14,000 even though only 10,000 were needed the sign-up is still ongoing. I guess the USPS has not responded as of yet. I guess Children's Cancer does not rank as high as "Save a Whale" Or maybe we need more lobbyist or maybe a few more Senators may have to walk in our shoes before they get it... Ya think!!!
Please... it only takes a minute!


Music is by Mercy Me "I Can Only Imagine"







Losing a sib by: Lauren Ashley Aug 5 2011

Life is harder than what we are raised to believe. When we are younger we are made to believe we can do anything we put our minds to.
We believe life is all fun and games no death or hardship shall we see.
As we grow we realize that life is not sugar coated as we were raised to believe.
We start losing family, friends, and ones we love…..
As we are younger we have no idea about cancer, accidents, diseases, or death.
We believe we can life forever, saying it could never happen to us, or someone we love and care about. Then out of nowhere it hits….
We don't want to believe it and just wish it was all a dream until you realize, that they are gone. You try to deal with the pain whether its emotional, denial, or going crazy. Some turn to drugs and alcohol or try to make their life better . Some wish we could take their place or believe it was our fault it's happened.
We try to live life, as we believe they would want us to. Some can't deal with the reality of the experience, so they try anything to drain out the pain.
We don't know how to deal until we are faced with it. For most we realize all our mistakes and try to learn from them.
So… next time you judge someone just remember you don't know until it happens to you!

Journal

Tuesday, August 9, 2011 4:24 PM CDT


Hi to ALL,

I Know Long time no hear… So you’d better sit down for this one lol
Anyway I think I left you all hanging about 5 years ago or something like that. Just passing the 9 year mark of losing my precious child I felt the need or maybe it was a calling to write.
I really didn't mean to make the update this long in passing but with each update I had to relive the loss. I am sure there are you who relate to that statement. But part of my recovery is to do this and probably more often if you can stand it. If you can't just don't read it. It's that simple…
So lets start with the family… starting with Chuck. After having that horrendous accident and scaring us all silly, he finally got approved for Social Security. Great it only took almost 5 years and they screwed us out of 26K saying he got workman's comp. Yes, you heard that right! He worked from the age of 8 (commercials) Then when Kristin was sick and he and Lauren went to our Family Doctor He & her both neglected to tell me that he had had a mini Heart attack. So what happens last October???
He has the big one. I wouldn't say goodbye and I guess it was a wise choice cause he made it all the way to Jacksonville via ambulance cause life-flight was busy, on the surgery table, groin inserted and THEN coded twice. The 3 time they hit him with the paddles he came up swinging and yes one more hospital that remembers our name well. I then went into a catatonic state for 3 days. Oh and my Jack Russell went into labor with all the hoopla and lost them all cause they needed another week to grow.
His excuse is he forgot to tell me… hers is she promised him. I say BS.
Next is Lauren, Who was doing awesome last update but she contracted Crohn’s Disease so was said and that has been a wonderful, insane experience, which is still going on daily. First the N. FL PA who handles all the new CD patients at Wolfsan’s (Nemours) Children's Med Center said she was starting her on MP6 Predisone an a few other non mentionable meds. Well, yes I said whoa not Chemo and she replied with I did not say Chemo. My not so nice reply was had you LOOKED at her chart you would have seen we just lost a daughter to ALL, better yet a hospital borne pathogen called Nocardia. There is not a chemo out that I do not know the name and nickname for. So absolutely NO! Well we think she has it and this is the new method of CURE! Right There is always a Compromise right? So they sent her blood to CA to be checked to prove to me that I was wrong. Three weeks later I get a phone call, same PA. " Well, I have good news, & bad" okay lets have the bad first. "We did two blood test, the bad news is she is that 1 in 3000 who is ALLERGIC to MP6, the good news is she didn't test positive for Crohn's but... we still think she maybe Pre-Crohn’s” So, if I hadn't listened to the infamous mommy gut at the very least I would have had a deathly ill child or worse. Anyway next it was Gainesville an a $400. med called Pentaza which was up chucked every morning. Then a few years later she was working as a a Hostess at Applebee’s and loving it. The local doc wanted her to only work days to avoid stress. So she was fired. Now after a couple of 3 week stays in local hospitals with always a high white count and one or 2 times a bag or 2 of red blood cells, a failed engagement (her choice) we are no closer to CURE than man in the moon! Can losing a sib do this?
Jason I will make short & sweet. He lived here for a year with his friend who he says is NOT his girlfriend and on his youngest sibs 21st birthday, they disappeared into the night.. That was May 7th, 2010 and I have not heard a peep from him. Except for the 6 page of repetitious BS that she wrote to his sister. He's my oldest and I thought we had something that could NEVER be broken but... Again is it me or do I just have very screwed up kids?
My sister Keli whom I have hardley ever gotten to see most of my life but still loved regardless with every inch of my being, FINALLY made me an Aunt. Out of respect for her I won't say how old she was just that I think she has my kid reincarnated. For 1) The name she picked for her was Summer which is the same name I had chosen for Kristin. Only a few knew this and no, Keli did not know this. Other than Brown eyes the resemblance, attitude right down to he first sentence which was "Go to Beach" including her love for dancing & riding horses and right ring finger bowed she reminds me of Kristin. I hope my sister knows what a precious gift she has been given... I know deep in my heart that she does.
My mom who lives across the street is still kick-en and as I am not her favorite we don't see eye to eye on much. She's happy as long as her soaps are on, refuses to allow me to get her a membership to the golden age group here cause "She's not OLD" I probably could write a book just on her but for respect again... I won't even toy with the idea! BTW my grandmother raised me so losing her in 94 was like losing my mom!
Then there is me… I have tried to do good by everyone that comes through this door but this Karma thing that used to work great for me has now got some flaws….or possibly it's just People. I quit work on Oct 30th 08. For 2 reasons, I didn't want my house burned down if Chuck tried to cook or water throughout the house if he wanted a bath and after 30 years of bending hair most of my clients were color (foil) or weddings, I had surgery in 99 and a cadaver bone put in my neck. After the accident 2 months before losing Kristin the pain was unmerciful. So yes I sought relief. Tried Shots, Steroids and the only relief is meds. But after all I've been through at this age I could care less what any doctor, or family member or friend thinks. It helps to give me some quality of life. My car is ready to throw a rod or it's possibly a lifter so I have no transportation so if any one has a free car sitting around hit me up. (just kidding) Tried to get help through SS and they said we didn't fit their criteria. 1,130 dollars a month with an out of pocket of 350 for medical, pay bills an we don't fit? Let alone try to eat? He did say that with the denial papers he was sending that Medicaid might help, to which I replied, would that be like when you all turned my daughter down because her dad is a Teir 2 and she went to Medicaid and they told her if she got PREGNANT they would help? Yep You heard that one right too!
So, What have I been doing the last 5 years Well, we started to remodel but never got the second check so everything stands in limbo. I Did have a garden until the chem-trails got so bad and then this year the nuclear plant in Japan spread its garbage. You don't know if your seeds are GMO or not, and without wheels I've been staying in catching up on the real history that was never taught to me in school. One thing I have decided is that all us hippies (yes you know who you are) maybe we didn't have things so wrong after all. The plant we all went to bat & some in jail for, had its purpose for millions of years. So, God forbid if I ever get told those 3 words (You have Cancer) U bet your bottom this ex hippie will say no to toxins an be looking for the best lb of bud I can find to make Rick Simpson's brew of paste. He has over 1500 documented cases of cures from skin to tumor to Hodgkin's
BTW, I fell into the trap we all do but thanks to Alicia, Avalon's awesome mommy and her propensity for being a lot like myself in a lot of ways, which one is not always believing what your told or read. She actually investigated some of these fund raiding-playing off the sympathy of unknowing folk like us and caught the CEO's with their pants down. All of them with caddy's and a salary that would make you or I feel very rich & comfortable. BTW their ribbon is Pink! The rest of my time has been spent for a very good cause. I know you all remember that bubbly awesome star Brittany Murphy (Riding in cars with boys, Clueless, 8 Mile) just to name some of the 41 in her short 32 years of life. Well since Dec 20th, 09 I have been helping her brothers and father fill in the missing pieces. Her Father is the closest thing I have to my own father and he remembers me when I was a baby. I lost my dad 2 months before Kristin. So in this crazy mixed up mind of mine I feel that if I helped I could somehow vindicate what happened to Kristin that I had no control over. Yeah I know pretty messed up, but true!
Anyway, I love you all and a big shout out to all of you who still drop by to see if I am still alive or have jumped lol. Your comments have made me laugh & cry or both and I thank you for them all. I still stay on the All-Kids list just waiting to see if Kristin's wish comes true. May God Bless & keep all of you safe still in this fight. I pray everyday for one more to reach the OT (means off treatment for those whose don't know the lingo) couch! No slam... Thank God each day if you don't!
Blessings To ALL,
Laura Chuck & Lauren
If You have the time check out... KRISTIN GOES TO WASHINGTON

Read Journal History


Sign and view the guestbook
Sign and View Guestbook

View personal photos

View Photos

Hospital Information:

Patient Room: Teaching Angels to Dance

HOME ADDRESS
202 S.W. Woodgate Ter.
Lake City, Fl 32024
386-755-2871 or 623-6880

Links:

http://www.thePetitionSite.com/takeaction/928701473  
Childrens Cancer Awareness Stamp Petition (it only takes 30 seconds)

http://sqlovingmemories.com/kristinh.html  
Kristin's Memorial Quilt, Stop by and add a square!

http://www.shannonmosherfoundation.org  
Foundation to help Leukemia Patients



 
 

E-mail Author: laura.bradford@gmail.com

 
 

  Celebrate someone you love with a Tribute Gift to CaringBridge

Your gift will help millions of people stay connected with friends and loved ones during challenging times.


 

This page has been viewed 69336 times.

 

Note: The foregoing information was authored by the patient, parent or guardian, or other parties who are solely responsible for the content. Such announcements or their content are not necessarily endorsed by CaringBridge, Inc. or any sponsoring agent.  This information does not confirm that anyone is or was actually a patient at any facility.
 
 
Copyright Policy  |  Privacy Policy  |  Terms of Use  |  Donate |  How to Help |  Contact Us  |  FAQs
Copyright © 1997-2005 CaringBridge, a nonprofit organization. All rights reserved.
 
Visit the Onvoy website