Journal History

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Tuesday, March 30, 2004 4:13 AM CST

::slowly approaches and taps mic:: This thing on?...

I am SO SO very sorry for not updating in, uh...::coughs:: over two months. I really have no excuse other than the fact that things have been crazy.

A lot's happened in the last two months....where to start! Health-wise things have been so-so. I was accessed and on treatment last week....I ended on Wednesday I think. My port's been working well as of late...::knocks on wood:: I caught my Mom's cold so they put me on an antibiotic to help kick it. Lauren's immune system is like "Wee. Let me allow Lauren to catch everything that comes down the pipe because I suck!" Other than that things have been same old same old....treatment's been every two weeks as opposed to every three....just truckin' along doing my thing. I've also been quite exhausted due to my incessant running of marathons....I really *must* slow down ;-)

Things have been busy as always at home. Dad's busy with work, Morgan and Mom just got back from a cruise in the Bahamas....Chopper's eating twigs and tearing up Kleenex per usual. Good times, good times.

I hope all of you guys are doing well and those of you that aren’t...I'm so sorry. I’m thinking about you and I wish better times for you. I'll write again in a while...it won’t be two months. For real. Everybody take care....big thanks to all who have signed my guestbook even in my absence. I love you all....big hugs and lotsa love!

Later tators.

~Lauren :-)

**SEMI-FUNNY LAME JOKES THAT LAUREN FOUND AMUSING AND THINKS YOU SHOULD TOO**

Q: What's a mathematicians favorite food?
A: Pie.

::coughs:: sorry...here's another one to redeem myself

Q: Why do people love pigeons?
A: Because they're "coo."

wuahaha....I need help.

Friday, January 9, 2004 3:17 AM CST

Dude... it seems like I haven't updated since like last year! Ha... :::crickets churp and tumbleweed blows by::: Yeah I'll shut up. Happy 2004 everybody!! Sorry it's taken me forever to do an entry, a lot's been going on at the ole' homestead. Did I just use the phrase "homestead....?" Wow.... too much "little house on the prairie" for Lauren....

Ok, first off I had surgery two weeks ago for my new porty. It went ok. I was just in for two days this time.... we were able to get this new one in a different part of my chest again instead of the groin. YAY for non-groin ports! Anyways, my docs say my protein S deficiency, (aka my blood's too thick and I clot too much) might be worse, because during surgery I kept clotting a whole lot. Also, when the anesthesia doc attempted a peripheral IV, he actually got it in... but within like 10 seconds it had already clotted off. So I'm on baby aspirin to thin my blood for now... Dr. Brewer says we can always do lovonex (heperin) shots, or kumaden again if the aspirin doesn’t help. My old port was soooo full of clots and stuff, so we really wanna' try and keep this one as clot free as possible. My new port will get accessed to start treatment on Monday for the first time since surgery. I'm prayin' I’m not clotted off already. That wouldn’t be oh so coo my babies.

I hope everybody had a super dee-dooper Christmas and/or Hanaka-izzle! Our’s was really good this year... I was actually conscious! YAY! Just being home with family and not in the joint was the only present I wanted. On top of that though, as a delightful bonus I got a few video games, movies and posters.... Lord of the rings posters baby, oh yeeeea :-) Being able to gaze upon Viggo's mad hotness on my wall all year round' is the gift that just keeps oooon giving!

As most of you are well aware, I joke a lot. I think it's always been my way of dealing with my illness and crappy stuff in life... the Bill Cosby quote above is like my life motto. That being said, I’d like to get some stuff off my chest that I've been feeling lately.....

I have to say; it was a little hard getting into the holiday spirit this year, because of the stuff that’s been going on with friend’s illnesses and the caringbridge kids who have passed away recently. Then on Christmas Eve I was watching mass on TV and I was kinda' saying a prayer for all my friends and all the cb and starbright kids and stuff. All of a sudden a weird sort of peace just came over me. It’s really hard to explain without sounding stupid, but it was incredibly comforting.... like a feeling that everything's going to be ok and stuff. There’s so much we don’t understand as human beings... so much that our minds just can’t grasp and that I guess only God understands. I just realized that Shi**y things happen in life, things that aren’t fair at all and are totally senseless.... all we can do is trust God, trust that he knows what he's doing, and trust that he'll never bail on us or let us walk alone during the horribly difficult times. So yeah… just felt like sharing.

As you guys can tell, I've made some changes to my site-izzle.... new background, song, collage (thankies Dee!!) and piccys. The background is from my favorite movie "boondock saints"... (thanks Mollz... mad background-making skills you have yo.) The song, "hold on," is one of my faves... I like the words so much I’m gonna' put em' up so you guys can enjoy :-) I also added TONS of new pics in my picturetrail album, so check em' out when ya’ get a chance!

Ok.. what else is going on in the life of moi....

My aunt Cindy, her best friend, her best friend's Mom and my baby cousin came to visit for a few days this past weekend. It was awesome seeing Cindy... she’s the only one who'll watch horribly disgusting horror movies with me. It was great seeing my little cuz Rachel too. She’s 2, and last year Cindy and her husband adopted her from China. Well, the poor child has been like terrified of all the medical crap in my room since day one, so she gets like totally freaked out when they bring her in here. Well this time when she was here...... Drum roll please...... she actually WAVED at me! This was a hella cool “moment” for me. I was like "Oh my dear Lord... she actually acknowledged my presence and wasn’t terrified of me for once!! The kid doesn’t hate me with a fiery, deep-seeded passion! WOOHOO!!" So that like made my day lol.

A sidenote: My Mom is out of town for a few days in Atlanta with her friends... some flea-market type thing I think... so if anybody feels like a party, shimmy on over to my crib! Morgan and I are throwing the customary kegger which we hold at our place every time our parental-units are away... so bring a friend and plenty of board games... this par-tay is gonna’ be off the hook yo! Wait... my dad's going to be here. Gripes. Scratch that entire thing. Sorry to get your hopes up and ruin your week. Don't be too disappointed though... you can still come over and watch "Trauma: life in the ER" with me! Any takers....? :::long pause::: Anyone....? :::longer pause::: Bueller.…. Bueller...... :::crickets chirp loudly, and yet another tumbleweed blows by:::

Wow... I just realized that this is perhaps THE most disorganized, mixed-up journal entry of all time. I need to work on that.

Anyways, I'm gonna’ try and get some rest for tonight.... I shall update again soon though... (yes I realize I say that every time, but updating more was my new year’s resolution… I can dooooo it!) Take care my homies, and please, as always keep all of the caringbridge and starbright kids in your prayers... and stop by "adopt a kids" who's site is listed above.... just the simple act of signing a kid's guestbook can really make their day. Until next time guysies.... Keep coo my babies!
Peace and french fry grease....
~Lauren :-)

**LAME JOKES OF THE WEEK**

Question: Why did the porta-potty hate its life?
Answer: Because it was always so crappy.

Yea I know, ew...

(This one's for you MJ and Mollz....)
Question: How do homies like to wear their pants?
Answer: Tight.

:::bows and curtsies:::

Monday, December 15, 2003 5:13 AM CST

Hola amigos! I know I know...it has, once again, been over three weeks since I've updated. BUT, this time I have a legitimate excuse...no, no angry cattle stampedes or puter'-stealing monkeys. This time I actually have many reasons why I have not updated... so perhaps I'd better stop rambling and get to it! -clears throat- Ok, where to start...
First up, the ever-popular medical update. Ok here's the deal. When I last updated, I was about to start monthly treatment and get my port accessed and stuff. Welllll, to make a long story short, my port is severely clotted off, I only got one day of hematon this month, we TPAed me twice and it still didn’t unclot. SO, I'm gonna be having surgery for a new port this weeky. Woo...hoo....-puts on a party hat and throws confetti in the air sarcastically- This port has lasted over a year, which is way longer than any of my others have lasted, so I’m grateful its lasted this long. I'm a little concerned about the fact that my chest is like so horribly scarred and stuff from all my previous central lines, we're running outta places to put my porties. Hopefully my hella awesome surgeon will be able to place my new one in my chest again, and not my groin. -fingers crossed- If he can’t get it in my chest, we can always just stick it in the ole' forehead. How stylish and attractive would THAT be? I hear forehead ports are totally "in" this season...
Besides the port situation, I've been feeling kinda' "blah" lately, prolly because I missed most of my hematon this month. I'll feel better once I get my infusion though, so it’s all gravy baby.
Ok, what else....
OH! The Starbright benefit went GREAT! My parents were in LA for like 3 days and they met Matt, Opus, Jake, Andy, Heather and all the other totally awesome Starbright homies. They also saw Taco and Jody, (side note: Taco dressed up... he looked maaaad stylish.) Anyways, I got to video conference at the event and "mingle" with all the peeps who were there supporting Starbright and stuff. I also got to VC with Taco, Jody, Matt, Jake, Opus and everybody. That rocked the hizzie :-) They said my parents did a great job with their speech and a lotta money was raised for Starbright, which is totally awesome.
Well, it's mid December... and what does this mean everybody? That’s right... reruns of ER and high school basketball season! Oh yea, and that whole "holiday/Christmas" thing. If you guys were pondering getting me an xmas present this year, what I'd really like would be for ya'll to donate to STARBRIGHT if you have the means to. That would be the bomb-izzle. I mean... I know you all chipped in to get me that hella cool red Porsche convertible and all, which is cool, but I'd really rather just have u give to Starbright. Or you could just do both. Either way :-D I'm such a geekwad, sorry.
Ok, that concludes this week's episode of "Laurenzo's life"...check back next time as the saga continues.... DUN DUN DUUUUUN! -coughs- sorry. Goodnighty all, I'll update again after surgery and let ya know how it went. I hope everyone's enjoying the holiday season and this Christmas will be full of happy times with family and friends! (No, I didn’t get that off of a hallmark card.) Until next time guys... Keep coo my babies!!
~Lauren-izzle :-)

**LAME JOKES OF THE WEEK**
Question: Why did the nurse open her Christmas present early?
Answer: Because she didn’t have any "patients."

That one sucked... I must redeem myself.....

Question: What song does Santa hate listening to right before going down a chimney?
Answer: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

**PRAYER REQUESTS**
1) Please pray for Angel Davin and his family. Davin unfortunately passed away on December 11th. He was a very strong, brave kid who went through so much. Please pray for Davin's family as they try and make it through this extremely difficult time.
2) Angel Christina passed away on November 24th. Please pray for her and her family.
3) All the caringbridge kids, starbright kids and their families.

Monday, November 24, 2003 0:27 AM CST

Well, once again...Lauren has gone three weeks without updating. -thinks of possible excuses- OH, uh....our house was trampled by a stampede of angry cattle! That wasn’t cool. Ummmm....oh yea! Also, a large monkey-like creature snuck into my room and stole my beloved computer...apparently he wanted to pawn it and use the money to support his banana habit. Silly, silly monkey.....Ok ok, so there was no angry cattle stampede....but the monkey thing was 100rue...really! Hehe. In all seriousness though, sorry I’ve been so absolutely horrible about updating lately...I’ll be better, for real. If I'm not...you can unleash that previously mentioned cattle stampede on me...I guess I’d really have to MOOOOOOve over to avoid getting squished huh? Oh good Lord I’m lame....I apologize. Ok, what's been going on around my “crib"....
I got through hematon treatment ok a few weeks ago...but alas, it is almost time to start it again. Tuesday the nurse'll be out to access me...I got a new nurse actually, it's a guy named Randy. He has the personality of a cactus, but he sure knows what he’s doing, and has never infected a patient’s port in the 14 years he’s been a nurse. What more can ya ask for? Besides a mega foxy nurse that resembles George Clooney...that'd be nice ;-)
Anyways, so a few days ago I finally got my stitches out (the ones around my tummy tubey site.) Apparently my surgeon put in a few too many stitches, so Randy had to dig around a bit to get em' out...but no biggie ziggie. The tube site looks ok, kinda red and a little painful and stuff, but ok. What else.....oh yea, we started me on some new immune system boosting thing that Dr. Brewer thought would be a good idea. I'm doing ok on it; I forget the name but I’ll ask and tell ya in my next entry. I also got my flu shot a couple of weeks ago. Every winter since I've been sick, I’ve gotten really sick with respiratory infections and flues that totally wipe me out, (I catch everything cuz’ my immune system...well, sucks.) So hopefully the ole' flu shot will help me out and I’ll be conscious for Christmas this year..…obviously a good thing, lol. Tummy wise, it’s been hurting in the "porph tummy pain" way...but that’s nothing new. Well...that’s completes the ever-exciting medical portion of my update!
What else is new.....
Oh, my Grandparents are coming for Thanxgiving...they're not in the best of health so I’m glad I’m going to be able to spend time with them and stuff. Then next week, my parents are going to LA for Starbright's annual benefit. Ann (one of my nurses...who's kinda' old) is gonna be here with me while they’re gone...which should be super dooper "fun." We just might throw a keg party...you're all invited! Don't forget to bring the yatzee...a party just isn’t a par-tay without fun and exciting dice games. Aaaaanyhoo...Dana (one of the totally awesome boss ladies at Starbright) is gonna be coming out while my parents are in LA! We're setting up a video conferencing thing so I can vc at the benefit...I'm not sure what I’m going to say, I suppose Dana will help me to not look like a mega dork...which we all know I’m pretty good at :-)
Tomorrow night, my Mom's having this big shindig at our house. The archbishop of KC is coming over for dinner, along with like, half the city apparently. My friend Matt's coming, so that'll be cool....and it'll be fun seeing the archbishop, he’s a pretty cool guy, kinda' reminds me of a more holy version of my grandpa. Let's just hope I don’t "pull a Lauren" and sound like a total geek or make a fool of myself. I can see it now...."Hi archbishop! I like your hat thingy....is that from the new winter Gap collection? Ha...ha...ha...." -crickets chirp and everyone looks at me funny- Hopefully that won’t happen, I think I’ll leave that little joke outta the conversation.
I switched my background yesterday...again. I couldn't resist. Not only am I a HUGE Lord of the rings nerd, but I also think Aragorn is extremely shexy. Hehe.
Ok, looks like that's a wrap.... I’ll write more soon and let ya'll know how treatment and thanksgiving went! Take care everybody...and please send up some prayers and good thoughts for my good friend MJ's little friend Hannah. Hannah is 1 and a half and has SMA like MJ, and she's very sick. Also, please pray for ALL of the caringbridge and Starbright kids, as always. I really really appreciate it. Oh, one more thing...I’ve added a new "section" that i'll be doing every time I update. It's a "shout out" section, where I'll say a hello to some of my homies and stuff....but never fear, my loyal fans...I will continue with the ever-popular, "lame joke of the week" section...I know how much it means to you all, and I just can’t let ya down! -chuckles-
Gotta run...(well not literally, but you know.) Until next time, as Conie says....Keep coo my babies!
Much love to all,
Lauren :-)

**LAME JOKES OF THE WEEK**

Question: What did the turkey do to the man who was about to kill and eat him for Thanksgiving?
Answer: He flipped him the bird.

and for a second helping of this madness....

Question: What did the golfer say to his friend on driving range?
Answer: Man, do I have a wedgie!

**SHOUT-OUTS**

Mollz: I taped the Johnny E true Hollywood story for ya'....I'll mail you a fun little package full of John John stuff as soon as the other movies are taped. Have a blast in AZ with your hella tizight dad and -coughs- Chadwick Chaderson from Chad, hehehe...I’ll ttyl esse. Wuv ya mucho!!

Jakie W: Hope to see ya soon homeboy...gimme’ a call and I’ll letcha’ know if it’s a good time, I’ll be here :-P

MJ: Love ya lots homie....can't wait to see what happens on Y and R tomorrow! JT...oOoOo...hehe.
Spenc: Feel better pal. Sorry you've felt so yucky lately....lylab, ttys!

Monday, November 24, 2003 0:27 AM CST

Well, once again...Lauren has gone three weeks without updating. -thinks of possible excuses- OH, uh....our house was trampled by a stampede of angry cattle! That wasn’t cool. Ummmm....oh yea! Also, a large monkey-like creature snuck into my room and stole my beloved computer...apparently he wanted to pawn it and use the money to support his banana habit. Silly, silly monkey.....Ok ok, so there was no angry cattle stampede....but the monkey thing was 100rue...really! Hehe. In all seriousness though, sorry I’ve been so absolutely horrible about updating lately...I’ll be better, for real. If I'm not...you can unleash that previously mentioned cattle stampede on me...I guess I’d really have to MOOOOOOve over to avoid getting squished huh? Oh good Lord I’m lame....I apologize. Ok, what's been going on around my “crib"....
I got through hematon treatment ok a few weeks ago...but alas, it is almost time to start it again. Tuesday the nurse'll be out to access me...I got a new nurse actually, it's a guy named Randy. He has the personality of a cactus, but he sure knows what he’s doing, and has never infected a patient’s port in the 14 years he’s been a nurse. What more can ya ask for? Besides a mega foxy nurse that resembles George Clooney...that'd be nice ;-)
Anyways, so a few days ago I finally got my stitches out (the ones around my tummy tubey site.) Apparently my surgeon put in a few too many stitches, so Randy had to dig around a bit to get em' out...but no biggie ziggie. The tube site looks ok, kinda red and a little painful and stuff, but ok. What else.....oh yea, we started me on some new immune system boosting thing that Dr. Brewer thought would be a good idea. I'm doing ok on it; I forget the name but I’ll ask and tell ya in my next entry. I also got my flu shot a couple of weeks ago. Every winter since I've been sick, I’ve gotten really sick with respiratory infections and flues that totally wipe me out, (I catch everything cuz’ my immune system...well, sucks.) So hopefully the ole' flu shot will help me out and I’ll be conscious for Christmas this year..…obviously a good thing, lol. Tummy wise, it’s been hurting in the "porph tummy pain" way...but that’s nothing new. Well...that’s completes the ever-exciting medical portion of my update!
What else is new.....
Oh, my Grandparents are coming for Thanxgiving...they're not in the best of health so I’m glad I’m going to be able to spend time with them and stuff. Then next week, my parents are going to LA for Starbright's annual benefit. Ann (one of my nurses...who's kinda' old) is gonna be here with me while they’re gone...which should be super dooper "fun." We just might throw a keg party...you're all invited! Don't forget to bring the yatzee...a party just isn’t a par-tay without fun and exciting dice games. Aaaaanyhoo...Dana (one of the totally awesome boss ladies at Starbright) is gonna be coming out while my parents are in LA! We're setting up a video conferencing thing so I can vc at the benefit...I'm not sure what I’m going to say, I suppose Dana will help me to not look like a mega dork...which we all know I’m pretty good at :-)
Tomorrow night, my Mom's having this big shindig at our house. The archbishop of KC is coming over for dinner, along with like, half the city apparently. My friend Matt's coming, so that'll be cool....and it'll be fun seeing the archbishop, he’s a pretty cool guy, kinda' reminds me of a more holy version of my grandpa. Let's just hope I don’t "pull a Lauren" and sound like a total geek or make a fool of myself. I can see it now...."Hi archbishop! I like your hat thingy....is that from the new winter Gap collection? Ha...ha...ha...." -crickets chirp and everyone looks at me funny- Hopefully that won’t happen, I think I’ll leave that little joke outta the conversation.
I switched my background yesterday...again. I couldn't resist. Not only am I a HUGE Lord of the rings nerd, but I also think Aragorn is extremely shexy. Hehe.
Ok, looks like that's a wrap.... I’ll write more soon and let ya'll know how treatment and thanksgiving went! Take care everybody...and please send up some prayers and good thoughts for my good friend MJ's little friend Hannah. Hannah is 1 and a half and has SMA like MJ, and she's very sick. Also, please pray for ALL of the caringbridge and Starbright kids, as always. I really really appreciate it. Oh, one more thing...I’ve added a new "section" that i'll be doing every time I update. It's a "shout out" section, where I'll say a hello to some of my homies and stuff....but never fear, my loyal fans...I will continue with the ever-popular, "lame joke of the week" section...I know how much it means to you all, and I just can’t let ya down! -chuckles-
Gotta run...(well not literally, but you know.) Until next time, as Conie says....Keep coo my babies!
Much love to all,
Lauren :-)

**LAME JOKES OF THE WEEK**

Question: What did the turkey do to the man who was about to kill and eat him for Thanksgiving?
Answer: He flipped him the bird.

and for a second helping of this madness....

Question: What did the golfer say to his friend on driving range?
Answer: Man, do I have a wedgie!

**SHOUT-OUTS**

Mollz: I taped the Johnny E true Hollywood story for ya'....I'll mail you a fun little package full of John John stuff as soon as the other movies are taped. Have a blast in AZ with your hella tizight dad and -coughs- Chadwick Chaderson from Chad, hehehe...I’ll ttyl esse. Wuv ya mucho!!

Jakie W: Hope to see ya soon homeboy...gimme’ a call and I’ll letcha’ know if it’s a good time, I’ll be here :-P

MJ: Love ya lots homie....can't wait to see what happens on Y and R tomorrow! JT...oOoOo...hehe.
Spenc: Feel better pal. Sorry you've felt so yucky lately....lylab, ttys!

Sunday, November 2, 2003 4:12 AM CST

Ok....don't be alarmed...I know this journal entry appears different from the one that has been up for the past three weeks.....this must be an enormous shock, but have no fear. You see, I am doing something different....something called UPDATING my webpage....what a concept aye? I apologize it has been so long everybody, I promise NEXT time it won't take me three weeks to update! Okies, what's new in the ever exciting world of Lauren....
First, the health junk...whoopdy-fricken doo ;-) I've felt about the same as always these past few weeks, some days are yucky, some aren't as yucky. The stitches around my new tummy tube are still in...my Mom wants them out because she's worried about infection, but I think we're just gonna' keep a close eye on it and leave it alone for now. It doesn't hurt very often, so I figure until it does, i'll just let it be :-) Anyways, the only "new" thing that has happened these last few weeks is, eh..how shall I put this gracefully...let's just say I've been "carrying a heavy load." Ah to heck with gracefull....I've been extremely constipated, like to the point of putting me on colace because we're worried about "tearing" and me not being able to go. We think it's been the combo of my feedings being at a pretty slow rate, mixed with the fact that we gave me an antihistamine through my tummy tube and it dried me up too much. So yeah...now that you are all informed of my screwed up bowel patters, lets move on, shall we! All this constipation talk is a pain in the butt. Ha, ha ha....Yeah, sorry, I'll stop with the lame puns, I promise. Aaaaanyway, I start my monthly hematon on Monday, so it's time for another port accessing. Hopefully we won't have problems getting me accessed like we did last month, and my port won't be a brat ;-)
Mmmkay, what else is new....oh yeah, an OT therapy lady has been comin' out to help me work out my right arm and get it as strong as possible. Since it's my only good arm, I have to do everything with it....type, read, write ect ect, so she wants it be strong so I don't get probs with it. I've been "pumping iron" with a bean bag...which is just lame lol....i feel pathetic lifting a half pound bag of hard beans up and down. It doesn't exactly have the same cool, tough looking effect that a dumbbell has, but oh well :-) Maybe my right arm will look like Ah-Nahld eventually....how cool would that be...i could be like a one arm body builder :-D Weeell, maybe not.
As you can obviously tell, because it has been up for like two weeks now, I GOT A NEW BACKGROUND, YAY! Hehe. Kody's Mom Kim was nice enough to make some hella cool backgrounds for me, thanks Kim!
Well, school is going well...I'm reading "the scarlet letter" and "great expectations" right now. I like scarlet letter, but I LOVE great expectations....I have to read 5 books before the end of the semester, which is cool because I love reading, I'ma total bookworm :-)
Ok, thats about it for tonight homies....sorry so short. I'll let ya'll know how treatment goes, and I pinky promise I won't wait so long in between updates! Please continue to pray for all my friends listed on my page, and all the kids battling illnesses around the country and world. Also, please keep the guestbook enteries comin' :-) G'nite all....until next time....Keep coo my babies!!
~Laurenzo :-)

**LAME JOKES OF THE WEEK**

There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."

"That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.

"Get my brown pants."

And for a double dose of lameness....

QUESTION: What does an overdue library book and an attractive guy have in common?
ANSWER: They both got "fine" written aaaaall over them!

(Just so you guys don't think I'm a TOTAL geekwad, I thought I would inform you of the fact that I didn't write these jokes....they came from other lame-o's. Hehe.)

Thursday, October 9, 2003 2:49 AM CDT

Howdy, doodies! I am SO incredibly sorry for not updating until now, things have just been crazy. Mmmkay, where to start.....
First off, I busted outta' good ole' St. Luke's last week. The recovery has been pretty rough, but I'm hangin' in there. I think I got spoiled getting to use the same hole in my tummy every time when I went in to have my JG's replaced. This time they had ta open me up in the OR and stuff, so ish wasen't as joyful. But hey, look at the bright side, now I'll have another, as my friend Taco might say, "hella cool battle scar." Hehe. Anyways, I got my staples out on Sunday but my doc left the stitches around my tube in. It makes it feel more secure having it there anyway. Anyway, so last Friday night I got a temp and real bad sore throat and stuff, then Saturday morning I started throwing up. Then, my port stopped working completely, which isen't good cuz' we couldn't give me zofran for the barfing, and antibiotics. Saturday the nurse came out to try and reaccess me and get my port working again, but no luck. She stuck me four or five times and couldn't get any blood return or anything. Couldn't push anything in, couldn't pull anything out....my port was being a major brat. A sluggish, non-flushing brat....and that's the worst kind ;-) Anyways, we got by till' Sunday when my surgeon came out, (can u believe I have a SURGEON who makes house calls? I know, it's like, amazing.) He was like, "well, I put this port in, maybe I could get it accessed!" So I let him try once, and sure enough, he got it on the first stick. I was a happy Lauren for sure. Then on Monday, we started monthly hematon, i'll be on it till' Friday. With the combination of this throat infection/chest cold/post surgery...ness, I haven't been able to breathe as deeply as I should, so my lungs have been soundin' pretty rattely and yucky and I have a "fun" cough going on. My nurse is like "COUGH LAUREN! You have to cough that stuff up! Now!" Im like, "ok then... ::hacks up left lung:: There ya go." Well, not really, but ya' know what I mean. That's about it on the medical news for the moment, it hasn't been a great couple weeks, but hopefully it'll get better.
Ok, FINALLY, enough on the health status of yours truly. Hmmm, what else is going on in my life. My teacher comes Monday hopefully, this year im in 12th grade and and taking American history, English AP, Spanish (yay! for the first time ever, wish me luck, this might not be pretty) algebra of some kind, health, art and science. I love school so I'm purdy excited to get started.
As always, I'd like to ask for some prayers if you don't mind. Please pray for little angel Noah who passed away this week. Please pray for his family, and visit his page if you can, www.caringbridge.com/hi/noah/ His parents fought so incredibly hard for him and they are just heartbroken. Also, please pray for angel Codibug and her family, especially Loni. Also please keep ALL of the caringbridge kids in your prayers, especially MJ, Katia and Christina. Thanks guys, I appreciate all your prayers and guestbook entries so much, keep em' coming :-) Well, I'm gonna' get some sleep before my huge Scottish head explodes. I'll update again soon, I promise, don't trip potato chip! (Wow im a geek.) Until next time my friends......"KEEP COOL MY BABIES!"
~Lauren :-)

**LAME JOKE OF THE WEEK**
QUESTION: Why was the hubcap being lazy?
ANSWER: Because he was "TIREd"

Wowzer....ok, that was lame even for ME.

Monday, September 29, 2003 2:18 AM CDT

Hey hey my peeps. Sorry for no update, it's been crazy. This updates gonna' be really short, I just wanted to letcha' all know what's going on.
First off, im in St. Luke's now, I've been in since last Tuesday. They did surgery wednesday, a jejunostomy. That's when they basically open me up, go into my small intestine and try and find the best place in my jejunum for my tube to go. The incision's bigger than my other tummy tube scars, its about an inch longer then my index finger in the middle of my tummy. They had to do an open procedure this time so it was a bigger deal than my other tubies. It's been pretty rough up till' this point, I've mostly slept, watched a little tv and rested. I keep getting a little temp, so were hoping it just the last bit of this dumb old phsodomonus infection. Im on fortaz (antibiotic) still for like another week to make sure the old tummy tube site is all cleared up from infection. My normal feeding pump rate is 75 cc's an hour, we've gotten me up to 50 so far. Im not sure when i'll get to go home, hopefully soon!
ANYWAYS, sorry so much medical talk tonight. I'm pretty tired so i'ma gonna' go to sleep now. I'll update again soon! I just recently heard of sweet Codi's death, and I am so saddened by this news. Please, pray for angel Codibug and her family who are left trying to make it day to day without her. She was an amazingly strong, beautiful little girl, and I know she's a beautiful, pain-free angel watching over all of us now. Please also continue for all the caringbridge kids and their families. Thanks guys, g'nite all! Until next time.....KEEP COO MY BABIES!
~Lauren :-)

Sunday, September 21, 2003 6:19 PM CDT

Hey hey hey my peeps! I hope this entry finds everyone doing well and having a good weekend! Ok, it's been a week and a half, much to update.....where to start.....
Well, I'll start with......DUN DUN DUN.....::says in loud booming voice:: THE THRILLING MEDICAL PORTION OF MY UPDATE!!! Woohoo, I know it's just so exciting folks, but try to remain calm. lol. Ok, first off, two weeks ago we took more cultures of my JG tube site, the one that's been infected for the past two months. As we suspected, the psudomonus infection is still there, even after two pretty long and hefty rounds of fortaz (antibiotic). So my doc wants me to come in and have surgery and get a whole new tube. They don't want the infection spreading throughout my entire abdomen (obviously), so we're going in Tuesday, and the surgery will be Wednesday or Thursday. Normal what I have is a JG tube replacement. They put me to sleep for it, but a GI doc can do it as oppose to a surgeon. Well this time apparently, since I've had sooooo many problems with my past few JG's, they are thinking of doing a different surgery that'll have to be done by a surgeon in the OR. I'll update once more before I leave to let everyone know a bit more about this new surgery, as soon as I get the info, I shall letcha know. I was supposed to start hematon this past Monday, but because we're going in, my doc wants to wait and access me while im in and do the hematon there I guess. Overall the last week or so I haven't felt that super great, so ill be glad to get the hematon in me. Aaaaanyways, im going to try and bring my computer in with me, and hopefully we can get internet access so I can let ya'll know what's going on.
Ok, now that the medical section's over with, I can move on :-) Morgan had homecoming last night, she looked reeeeally pretty! It's fun when we get to see her all dressed up, normally she lives in basketball shorts and sweatshirts. I'll post some pics soon so you guys can marvel at her beauty :-)
In other Henderson family news, my Mom's on a steroid pack for the week because of her abscessed tooth. Lemme' tell ya', Mom on roids', not a fun thing. lol. The weird thing is, instead of being in a horrible, moody mood like I was on iv salumedrol.....she's in an extremely happy, hyper, weird mood. It gave me a good laugh last night when she was trying to put some coconut in the oven to put on a cake she made, and I guess she's so hyper and 'roided up that she forgot she left it in. So I smell burning coconut, followed by a large cloud coming from the kitchen. About ten minutes later, she comes in with a pan covered in what I thought was spinach. It was actually black, hard, charred coconut. She was like, "It's COCONUT Lauren! I BURNED IT! HAHAHA!" I was like, wow Mom, you sure you didn't take like all the pills in one day as oppose to ONE each day? I'm not sure why, I just found it hysterical lol.
I'd like to ask for some bigtime prayers for some of my friends today. Sweet Codi is home, and on oxygen and high doses of pain meds. She sleeps most of the day, and only wakes for minutes at a time. Please pray for her and her family, and if you have time, stop by their site and offer some words of encouragement. Next, please pray for my good friend MJ, she's not doing well and has pneumonia. She's had a rough week. Stop by her site if you get a chance and say hi. Also, please pray for little Katia. She's really not feeling well and is having such a rough time with fevers and everything. Also pray for Cassie and her Mom. Her Mom had a heart attack, and Cassie is too sick to go and see her in the hospital. Please pray for all these kids and their families, and everyone on caringbridge and starbright. I truly appreciate it! I'd also like to say....CONGRATS ON FINISHING TREATMENT LINDSEY!!! Woohoo!! You go girl! Good luck with your "deportation" tomorrow sweetie!!
Ok guys, I think ima gonna' wrap it up for today, sorry there was a gap between updates again. Thank you all for your prayers and stuff, keep those guestbook entries coming! I'll keep you all updated as best I can about surgery, until next time......KEEP COOL MY BABIES!! Hehe, peace out!
~Lauren @:-)

**LAME JOKE OF THE WEEK**
QUESTION: What happens when a port gets embarrassed?
ANSWER: It gets "flushed!"

Ah, feel the lameness folks....feel it :-)

Wednesday, September 3, 2003 11:37 PM CDT

Greetings my kind and loyal readers!! It is I, Lauren....aka the girl that goes WAY to long without updating my page. I'm so sorry it has, once again, been so long. Things have been quite hectic and crazy here the last couple weeks. I apologize if I made any of ya' worry, (my homie Cassie.) Ok, where to begin......
First off, I just got deaccessed today (my port.) It had been over four weeks this time, without changing the needle. I did hematon last week, and the plan was to deaccess me after I finished, but it turns out my JG infection came back, so we had to start up the fortaz (antibiotic) again. We did cultures of my tummy tube, thinking the infection would be all cleared up, but the ole' bacteria came back. Today was day 8 of fortaz, so I'm hoping I was on it long enough to get the infection from coming back! My port has done well the last month, knock on wood, even with the same needle being in for 4 weeks. So that's a good thing :-)
Overall the last couple weeks, my pains been a little worse but nothing I'm not used to. The good ole' legs have been hurting kinda' a lot, sort of swollen and sharp pains in them and stuff. I'm handling that though. My heads been hurting the last few days but I think its from the fortaz and lack of sleep.
Ok, on to the more enjoyable section of the entry. As I mentioned in my last couple of entries, my friends from Starbright came in to town on Thursday night! It's been a LOT of fun. Molly is gonna be here till' tomorrow. Taco left early this morning and Adam left yesterday. It was so awesome seeing them. Taco, if your reading this....::mumbles:: Chingaroonie :-D ::giggles like a geek:: Anyways, Molly and I have just been chillin' like villians. We've been on the computie a lot, and playing a lot of video games and watching scary movies, my fav! Hehe. We have watched every single Freddy Kruger movie ever made in the last 72  hours :-) Gotta' love some good old fashion head choppings and freddy gore huh?
Tonight as I write this, Molly and my Mom are in the St. Luke's South ER because today she was reeeeeally dehydrated (part of her disease.) Well, since she was dehydrated, she needed to hook up to her TPN's (IV nutrition.) Like me, Molly also has a central line, only hers is a broviac as oppose to a port. Broviacs have to be flushed every day, and molly said she might have forgotten today and yesterday. So she goes to hook up to TPN, and her line won't flush, like at all. Apparently she's clotted off. So, off to the ER for some TPA (central line clot busting stuff) and hydration. Hopefully they wont have to stay long, and REALLY hopefully they will be able to bust the clot and she won't need another surgery to replace her broviac.
I'd like to ask for some much needed prayers if you don't mind. Little Katia has relapsed, and really really needs a lot of prayers and miracles right now. Please pray for her and visit her site if you can sand offer her and her family some words of encouragement. They could really use it right now. Also, please pray for my friend Alyssa who isen't feeling well at all since her last spinal. Also, pray fot all the caringbridge kids and their families, Cassie, MJ, Skylar, Gooch, Lindsey, Lupe, Codibug, Katelynn, Molly, Adam, Spencer, baby Noah, baby Jordan, Amy and every other kid facing an illness.
As you guys can see, I have added some new stuff to my page :-) New song, a few new graphics and links to other kids pages, ect. I also took away the slideshow because it wouldn't let me pick my own tunes to play. Anyways, if you wanna' see the pictures that were in the slideshow, just go to my picturetrail album link above. When Taco and Adam were here this weekend we took some pics, so I shall be adding them to my page really soon so you guys can take a looksie!
Ok, I can't think of anything else at the momento, and the good ole' right arm is about to fall off from typing :-) So I'll say toodles for now, but I PROMISE it will not be another 2 or 3 weeks before I update! I must go watch reruns of Dexter's Laboratory, gotta' love the cartoons man :-D Yes, I am aware of the fact that I'm a total geek. Peace out everyone, until next time.....KEEP COOL MY BABIES!! (I know my little catch phrase is probably getting really old folks, but I just can't fight the urge to quote Conan)........Must.......fight.....urge.....to say it.....a second time.............Wow, that was close, it's all good now though, im ok :-) TTYL!
~Lauren @:-)

**LAME JOKE OF THE WEEK**

QUESTION: Why was the washcloth mommy mad at her washcloth son?
ANSWER: Because he kept "ragging" on his little sister!

Now that I have officially ticked everyone off with that ever so lame joke, my job here is done :-)

**SEPTEMBER 11TH UPDATE!**
Hey hey everybody! This is going to be a really short update, I just wanted to do a quickie and let everyone know what's up. We took more cultures of my JG tube site yesterday, we think the infection is probably back. We haven't gotten the cultures back yet, it'll probably be later today or tomorrow before we know if it grew out anything. So we shall wait and see :-P
I get accessed (my port) again Monday to start hematon again, woohoo? At least this way if my JG tube is infected again, i'll be accessed so I can get antibiotics.
I hope you guys like the new pics I've added to my pageie! I'll add more again soon.
I'm gonna get going for tonight, i'll update again soon! Please keep Katia, Codi, MJ, Christina, and all the other caringbridge kids in your prayers. I'm including a prayer that I wrote in memory of all the 9/11 victims and their families, please pray for all of them too. Take care guys, until next time, as always........"KEEP COOL MY BABIES!!"
~Lauren :-)

**A prayer in memory of all those who lost their lives on September 11th, 2001**

God,
please watch over the families of the victims of the September 11th terrorist attacks. Grant them peace, comfort and the knowledge that their loved ones will not be forgotten.
Bless them on this difficult day, and everyday.
It is because of evil, ignorance, hatred and violence that these atrocious, murderous acts of terrorism occurred. Please God bless our world father, a world that is full of so much anger and violence, yet also has so much love, compassion and courage.
Grant us the peace, wisdom and determination that it will take to end the violence in our world. Father, I know that there will always be evil, there will always be hatred and suffering. I also know that there will always be love, kindness, bravery....... and heroes, like the heroes of 9/11. Help us to remember that there will always be good men to triumph over evil.
On this day, the anniversary of 9/11, please give us all peace and God bless the victims and their families. Assure them that they are not, and never will be forgotten.
May God bless America
In Jesus name,
Amen

Thursday, August 7, 2003 4:34 AM CDT

Yo yo yo everybody!! Your homie L dawg has returned. I am so sorry it has been such a long time since I last updated, once again, things have been crazy. A whole lot has happened the last couple weeks medical wise. First off, let me just say that this entry may be a tad "graphic" in terms of yucky medical crud, so if you have a weak stomach, or just plain don't like talk about blood and puss, I suggest you slowly turn away from the screen now, lol.

Are you still there.......?

Anyone left out there?

::crickets chirp::

Ok good, the ones with weak stomachs have taken my advice and exited "the gross zone." Hehe, im such a geek.
Ok, where to start. Well about three or four weeks ago, my JG tummy tube started to hurt a lot and look reeeeally nasty (oozing really badly, bloody, puss, scab like stuff ect.) Sorry, that's probably too much info I know. So we just cleaned it a whole lot and hoped it wouldn't get any worse. Well, it got a lot worse, even though the highest my temp has been is low-grade, about 99.5 or so which isen't too bad, everyone was surprised that the infection didn't make it spike higher. My nurse came one day and just took one peek at it and said, "Oh my gosh....how long has it been like this?? It is SO infected!" My nurse has been a nurse for a loooong time, so I imagine not much really phases her or makes her queasy. However, she had a look of complete and utter disgust on her face when she saw my tube site, I thought she was gonna hurl right then and there. LOL. Luckily she didn't, that would have been a tad disgusting having a nurse puke on you. So anyway, to make a long story short, we did some cultures and started vanco (antibiotic.) A couple dayz later we got the cultures back, it turns out I have a really weird wacked out kind of infection, I guess this particular bacteria is normally found in the lungs as oppose to the tummy and tummy tube. So my doc switched antibiotic because this strand of bacteria cant be helped by vanco. Im on flortaz now, which is one I actually haven't been on before. That's funny, because ive been on about a zillion antibiotics in my time, I rarely hear about one that I HAVEN'T been on. Anyways, so we started the flortaz at home (which home health didn't like doing because they don't feel very comfortable doing first doses of new meds at home. In case I have a bad reaction or something.) I had no reactions to it though, so it's all gravy baby. Anyway, so last Thursday we accessed me for my monthly hematon treatments and have been accessed ever since. I'll be on the flortaz for 11 days, so i'll be accessed like a total of 2 and a half weeks this month. We are praying that I don't have any port problems, especially infection. Protocol says the port needle is supposed to be changed every 7 days, but my doc said it's more of an infection risk for me to get stuck again then to just keep the same needle in the whole 16 days. So we'll just be keeping an eye on it and hope my port does ok.
Ok, now that I have completely bored to death everyone who is reading this, i'll move on to non medical stuff. Lemme think.... ::ponders other topics in my life to discuss:: Oh, well im really excited about Labor Day weekend coming up in a few weeks. Molly, (one of my best friends) who I met on starbright world is coming back to spend the weekend! I'm so pumped! It was such a blast having her and Spenc come a few weeks ago. This time, Spenc probably isen't going to be able to come, but its still possible. For sure Molly, Adam and Taco are coming! Adam is another really good friend from starbright, and Taco is a good friend too, who also happens to be one of the chat hosts at starbright! So that's something im really looking forward too, ima hoping that the infection will be cleared up by then and there wont be any unexpected hospital stays around that time ::fingers crossed::
Anyway everybody, its getting purdy late here, or early I suppose....depending on how you look at it. Hehe. Take care everyone, I'll write again soon I promise! Thank you all for the nice guestbook entries, they really mean a lot. Keep em' coming, as always :-) Take care all....until next time, as my guy Conie says...."BE COOL MY BABIES!!" Peace out!
~L dawg, aka Lauren, aka a geeky dork who longs to be homieish and cool :-)

**PRAYER REQUESTS**
Skylar, that she keeps her SATS up and continues to do better.
Spencer, who is in the hospital for a couple weeks for a CFer "tune up."
Lindsey, that her fever goes away, and that it is just a weird, random fever of unknown origin that will pass, and is not caused by a line infection or anything like that.
All of the beautiful kids that have passed away in recent weeks, please pray for comfort for their families.
ALL of the caringbridge kids, and all kids in the world suffering from illnesses.

THANK YOU!!

**LAME JOKES OF THE WEEK!**
(Yes folks, im sorry, it's that time again.)

QUESTION: Why did the cool, homie rapper go on weight watchers?
ANSWER: Because he was getting kind of "Phat."

and, for a second helping of this lameness......

QUESTION: How do you know when a toothbrush is getting sick?
ANSWER: He starts looking kinda' pasty!
Sorry folks, I know that was a double whammy of me being an idiot, but I just couldn't help myself, after all, it has been a while since I wrote last. I needed to catch up on my lameness :-)

**AUGUST 19TH UPDATE!**
Hey hey hey everyone!! I hope ya'll are doing well and having a good week! Once again, I apologize for the delay in doing another entry. Ok let's see, where to start.....
As I mentioned last time, I was started on fortaz (antibiotic) about a week and a half ago for my JG infection. Our plan was to leave me accessed and not change my the needle in my port that entire time, and then when I finished with the fortaz we would deaccess me. Well, I stopped fortaz on Friday, but then my nurse realized it was time to smart hematon again for the month. So, yesterday we started the hematon, and hopefully if all goes well i'll be deaccessed by Friday. I have had the same needle in for three weeks, so I've been prayin' that I don't get any port infection problems.
The JG infection looks a bit better than it did before we started the fortaz, the site still looks purdy darn yucky but it looks better. Tomorrow my infusion nurse is gonna' do some more cultures of the site and we'll be able to see how much the antibiotic is helping. I am REALLY hoping the infection is getting a lot better so we don't have to start up the fortaz again. My nurse says if i need to stay accessed any longer than Friday or Saturday, then we'll need to replace the needle....which my doc HATES doing because every time we restick me it opens me up to more infection risk. So hopefully we can say "buh bye" to the fortaz and the infection will have improved enough that we can deaccess me.
Allrighty....lets see, what else is going on around here. I haven't been sleeping at all lately, a couple hours a night tops. I give a new meaning to the term "night person," lol. I think I've been having trouble getting sleepy poo because of my tummy kinda bothering me, and a few other pains in various places such as the left arm and chest. I'm handling it, my sleep schedule is just all whacked out now. But hey, I look at the bright side of not being able to sleep until 5 am......MORE BAYWATCH AND COPS RERUNS, WOOHOO!! :-D Ya' gotta love the Cops reruns man, I mean, c'mon....seeing absurdly stupid bad guys being chased and beaten down by police officers with nightsticks is ALWAYS thrilling and uplifting, it just gives ya' a warm and fuzzy feeling doesn't it? Hehe, im such a geek it's not even funny.
Well folks...next week is when my friends from Starbright are coming in town, hooray!! Me happy :-) I can't wait to see Mollz again, and she's staying a whole week and a half too! YAY! Im totally pumped to see Taco (yes that's his real name,) and Adam too! These guys are like some of my best friends, so it should be a lot of fun. Ima' prayin' that I feel decent while they're here ::fingers crossed::
I'd like to ask for some prayers for a few friends of mine if you guys dont mind. Please pray that Katelynn (the link to her page is included above.) Her and her Mom Maria have been through a lot, and it is very frustrating. Please pray that her docs can help her and that she gets better. Also, for Codi, whos link is also included on my page. She's a really tough kid and she has been through more than in her young life than anyone should have to. Also, for ALL the caringbridge kids...MJ, Skylar, Molly, Cassie, Gooch, Lindsey, Katia, Cammy and Adam to name only a few. I appreciate all the prayers and guestbook enteries SO much! By the way....apparently Conan signed my guestbook in the last week or so...i wonder if thats for real? Wink wink Wayne ;-)
Ok guys, it's super late as always, so I think im gonna' attempt to get some sleep for now. In other words, another episode of, "Cops, Las Vegas" is coming on, so i gotta give all my attention to the many exciting, "busts" and car chases that are being shown :-) ::sings "bad boys" theme song like a total geek:: G'nite all....until next time, as my man Conan says......."BE COOL MY BABIES!!" Peace out!
~Lauren @:-)

**LAME JOKES OF THE WEEK**
*****WARNING*****
(This first joke involves puss, if you do not like jokes that are disgusting and relate to puss in any way...I highly suggest that you don't read the following lame joke)

QUESTION: What do you call a cat with an open wound?
ANSWER: A puss-y cat!

and.....

QUESTION: Why were the saline and heparin syringes afraid to go hiking in the woods?
ANSWER: Because they were afraid of getting poison "IV"
(If anyone out there has comical talent and wishes to share it with yours truly, please feel free to do so....I need aaaall the joke help I can get, obviously.)

Friday, July 11, 2003 3:10 AM CDT

Yo yo yo my babies! Im sorry its been so long since my last update, I hope everyone had an awesome Fourth of July and a good week! Well, as my Mom says, "its been like grand central station" around here this week. On Monday, Morgan and Mom left for yet another basketball camp for Morgan, this time it was Duke's camp. For those of you who know my sister, you know that she is completely obsessed with Duke. While many of her friends, (and me I must admit) are in love with various male celebrities and have posters of them on our walls, Morgan is completely different. Her room is like a shrine to Duke basketball, posters of Duke everywhere, lol. Anyway, so my needless to say I think she enjoyed this camp. So Mom and Morgan being gone all week, its just been me and my old man and my nurses. Haha, im sure he'll love being called my "old man." Dad's been really busy with work and taking care of me and stuff, but we have nurses that come during the day so that helps. Anyways, I started hematon on Monday. Accessing went ok this time, she got it on the first stick which is good. I guess Kansas is having an emla shortage, (emla is a numbing cream they can put on your port so you dont feel it as much when they access you.) So for the last 8 months ive been going the old fashion way without any emla, which really isent that bad. It hurts for ten seconds just going in and then its cool. This new infusion nurse is good and is a good accesser and stuff, but good Lord, the woman just flat out stinks at dressing changes, lol. I have ELEVEN, count that eleven tegaderms over my port, I feel like a chicken dinner dish covered in surran wrap, lol. I have so many indention's in my chest, like caved in parts of it from old port and broviac and plasma veresies scars so my dressing tend to not stick well. We normally use skin prep to make my skin untra sticky and keeps the tegaderm stuck to me. Well, it seems the nursey poo forgot that this month, so, eleven tegaderms later I have an air tight seal around my port. Just call me..... ::says in loud booming voice:: .....CHICKEN SURRAN WRAP GIRL!! lol.   So anyway, ive been getting zofran before every dose of hematon, it seems to be helping a bit but ive still been feeling kinda sick and headachy and stuff, especially at night is when it gets worse. Ive been having quite a bit of tummy pain and leg pain this week, the tummy pain im used to, the leg not so much. So im praying its just some nerve pain from the disease itself and not a blood clot problem or something (i have a protein s diffency, aka thick blood.) Anyhoo, ok what else is going on in homieville ::thinks:: Oh, well tomorrow Mom comes home and Dad leaves. She's coming home to take over for Dad, and Dad's taking over for her with Morgan. She has a tournament this weekend. My birthday is Monday, so im really hoping that Morgan and Dad are home for it! But we'll see what happens. Aunt Cindy is coming in tomorrow too! She staying like through Tuesday I think, so she'll be here for my bday, hooray! Anywayz, next week is gonna be awesome. Tuesday the two bosses of Starbright fly in, and then Wednesday my friends Molly, Spencer and Adam are coming! Its gonna be a Starbright reunion thingy! Im really pumped, i've been counting down the days! Im hoping I feel somewhat decent while they are all here. I wont be on treatment next week, (I stop hemation tomorrow,) so hopefully ::fingers crossed:: it'll be an ok week physically!  Anyway homies, it is once again super late and im super tired, so im gonna get some sleep! Thank you all for the AWESOME guestbook entries, I really appreciate it! As always, keep em' coming :-) I'll write again soon, until then, as "the man," says.........."BE COOL MY BABIES!!" Hehe, peace out dawgs!
~Lauren @:-)
P.S. Please pray for my friend MJ who just got outta the hospital after an almost two week stay. She encountered a lot of problems after surgery, so please just pray for her and maybe stop by her page and give her a "shout out" if you get a chance. The address is http://www.caringbridge.org/ny/mjpurk/
Also, please pray for Katelynn, a fellow caringbridge kid, and her Mom Maria and family! If you have a chance, please stop by their page as well, the address is http://www.caringbridge.org/nc/katelynntreakle/
Thank you all for your prayers and support, please continue to keep all of the caringbridge kids and their families in your prayers!

**LAME JOKE OF THE WEEK**
QUESTION: What did the homie say to the pilot on the airplane?
ANSWER: "Dawg, this ride is FLY!"
Yes yes guys, I know, lame. Hence the title "LAME joke of the week." LOL.

**SATURDAY, JULY 19TH UPDATE**
Hey everybody!! I cannot believe it has been over a week since i wrote last, im sorry! It has just been CRAZY busy here this week, crazy and soooo much fun! First off, my bday was great, we had some friends over and we all hung out and talked and...well we...sang songs. As most of you who know me are well aware, i cant sing, literally, not at all, its not cool hearing me try and sing. Picture a cat being strangled while a horribly loud train whisteled by. That, in a nutshell, is my singing voice. Hehe. Anyways, so Monday was fun. I felt pretty bad earlier on in the day with my tummy, so i just slept basically until everyone came over. I got some great movies, (How to loose a guy in 10 days, yaaaay!) I've been waiting to see that one for a while, so i was a happy chick when i got it!

Tuesday was really awsome. The two bosses of Starbright World came into town and it was SO much fun meeting them in person! Dana i've talked to online on Starbright for like a long time and on the phone a few times too, and Jodie, (the other main boss) was sooooo super nice!!

Then Wednesday was the coolest day by far, it was so much fun. My friends came in in the afternoon and the People magazine people came right before them. I dont know if i mentioned that part yet, we might get to be in People magazine, ::knocks on wood:: I didnt wanna' jinx it or anything so i haven't told too many folks, but our story might run in next weeks issue hopefully! I'll keep my fingers crossed with that one, hehe. Anyhoo, so this photographer lady who i think works for the magazine came in and started snapping pics, which i wasen't even really that nervous for surprisingly! Then Spenc and Mollz came in and we just like totally hit it off instantly, like always! We started talking, and basically haven't stopped talking since! We've been playing tons of video games, chatting with other friends online, um, ::mumbles:: a few prank phone calls (all nice ones I might add, lol) and most of all just talking and hanging out a lot! Its funny, even though we've only known eachother since like last November or so, we feel like we've been friends forever. Im just loving every minute of them being here, there here till' monday morning. Its kinda' hard to describe, but its just really cool having friends who are sick too and who understand stuff that you feel. With most of my healthy friends, there kinda' a little freaked out of all my medical stuff. Its not their fault or anything, they dont mean to be mean or uneasy around that type of stuff, but sometimes it just takes someone who has been through it to totally understand it. Molly has Hirchsprungs disease and Spencer has CF (cystic fibrosis) so they both understand the whole sick kid lingo and stuff, "JG tube, port, kangaroo pump, treatment, meds ect." We dont just talk about being sick though, auctually most of the stuff we talk about has nothing to do with our illnesses! We talk about normal teenager stuff, movies, tv, video games, books, music, inside jokes and stuff like that.

Ok, now on to the "oh so" thrilling medical portion of this update, hooray right? (As always, note the sarcasm here folks, hehe.) Well last weekend I started having major problems with the ole' JG tube again. It started hurting pretty bad and looking red and just pretty nasty around the site. I cleaned it like always, but like an hour later i looked at it and it was all gross and, well, oozing and other lovely things like that. So, the next day i wake up with my tummy really hurting around the site again, so i kinda' lift up the bumper (the piece of rubberish plastic that seperates the tube from the skin) and it is a total mess again, just like right after the last surgery. Prowed skin bigtime. So, to make a long story short, we ordered more silver nitrate sticks and have been using them ever since. Its not looking or feeling too much better yet but hopefully it will do its job sooner than later.

Well guys, it is incredibly late as always, so i think im gonna' get some sleepy poo for now! Thank you all for your guestbook enteries, emails and kind words! Please visit the links i've added to some other kid's pages who are sick too, they could really use the support. Anyhoo, i'll write again soon, in the meantime homies, as Conan says....."KEEP COOL MY BABIES!!" Hehe, peace out dawgs!
~Lauren, aka, "the wannabe homie girl" @:-)

~*LAME JOKE OF THE WEEK!*~
QUESTION: What did the bakery owner say when he went out of business after he ran out of pastries?
ANSWER: DAAAAARN YOU ANNA NICOLE SMITH, DARN YOU!!
For those of you wondering how i got this lame, i just dont think anyone can truely answer that question for you. Maybe i was born this way....maybe i was dropped on my head as an infant....maybe my dorkyness is genetic, passed on from dork to dork, generation after generation. It's one of the great mysteries of life..... :-)

**FRIDAY MORNING, JULY 25TH UPDATE!**
Yo yo yo homies! It is I, L-dawg. Hehe, yes I just made "L-Dawg" up, in case you were wondering. This update is gonna' be super quick, it's reeeeeally late and i need to catch some z's! Just to let everyone know, our story WILL be in tomorrow's issue of People magazine! It comes out on news stands tomorra, so if you have a few extra bucks go and pick up a copy pwease! Hehe. Anyways, that's about all I needed to tell you all for tonight, i'll be posting some new pics of my friends from Starbright and me together, i'll do it tomorrow or Saturday! Take care everybody, sorry so short, i'll write again, as Barney says, "super de dooper," soon! In the meantime, in the famous words of Conan....."KEEP COOL MY BABIES!!"
Peace out yo, word to the mother, word up, ect :-)
~Lauren @:-)

**LAME JOKE OF THE WEEK!**
QUESTION: What do you call a toilet that is rude, vulgar and curses?
ANSWER: A "potty" mouth!
Feel the lameness folks.....feel it. lol.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003 4:25 AM CDT

Howdy my homies, have no fear, im back. Im sooooooooo sorry for not updating sooner, I cant believe its been a week and a half. I hope somewhere, deep down in your heart of hearts, you can find it in yourself to forgive me. LOL, sorry, im the biggest geek.
Well, a lot has happened since my last update. The deal with my tube is this: its still clogged. Hooray, not. lol. We have come to the fairly obvious conclusion that coke isen't going to help, seeing as in order for the fizzy beverage to do its job, it has to actually get INSIDE the tube. This baby seems to be completely clogged off, we cant draw back much and we cant flush anything in at all. We are gonna keep trying the tube "plunger" a few more times and HOPEFULLY that will do something. The good thing is that my J port is doing ok so far, knock on wood, so as long as that stays open I can get feedings and meds. We are gonna start up the neurontin again in the next few days, since that's a liquid med as oppose to a crushed up pill we can put it in the J. Anyways, the prowed skin seems to be looking good. The silver nitrate sticks, although they burned, really cauterized that messed up skin really well. It looks like most of it is pretty healed around the tube site. Ok, u guys tired of tube talk yet? lol, I have a strong feeling you probably are. Ok, what else is up in the exciting world of Lauren in which I live....Oh, on Thursday, basically our entire family on my dads side is coming in town for a family reunion sorta thing. We haven't seen them in like a really long time so im pretty pumped! Morgan wont be here for a lot of it unfortunately because she has Notre Dame basketball camp from Wednesday to Saturday, but she'll get to catch the tail end of their visit. Im tellin ya', this kid is SO busy, she plays more basketball then Michael Jordan all hyper from eating too many Pixie Sticks. Ok, that may have been the weirdest thing I have ever said, wow, sorry folks. Anyhoo back to Morgan, her birthday is this coming Sunday, she will be turning 28. Man she's really getting up there.......Just jokin' guys, remember she's my "younger" sister, she's turning 15. Im glad she'll be home for her b-day though, i miss her when she's gone all the time and stuff, even though she's my little sis she really is my best friend. ::touching hallmark music plays:: LOL sorry, i felt i needed to ruin that honest and mushy moment with a bit of sarcastic Lauren humor.
I have been having a bit of trouble the last couple days with my left ear botheriing me. I think im getting a good ole' ear infection, prolly some inner ear thing cuz' ive been pretty dizzy a lot too. When it feels like your ear is being covered with an earmuff and like you have water in it, and your dizzy, that's usually a pretty good sign of some kinda' ear thing going on. We'll just keep an eye on it. Ha, we'll "keep an eye on my ear." That's an interesting sentence.
Our good friends Chris and Cathy just adopted a baby like last week. The whole thing happened really fast, it was only 2 months ago that they found out about the baby, and now they are parents! We are sooooooo happy for them, and guess what? They called me up yesterday and asked me if I would "mind" if they named they baby after me. I was so excited, I even got a little teary eyed I was so touched. I said "Do i MIND? Are you kidding! I would be honored!" So, that was very cool of them to do. If you don't mind, could you please pray for them all during this transition and please pray that the adoption gets finalized without any problems. I, and they, would really appreciate it.
I wanna' say thank you for all the awesome guestbook entries and prayers and everything you guys do, mu family and I are really grateful. Keep the good ole' guestbook entries comin :-) Anyways, it is once again extremely late, im watching Ocean's 11 for the 11 millionth time, and my eyeballs are about to fall out of their sockets i'm so tired, lol, so im gonna' get some sleep for now. I will write again soon, it wont be a week and a half this time I promise! Take care you guys, until next time, as Conan says........"KEEP COOL MY BABIES!!" Hehe. TTYL!
~Lauren @:-)
PRAYER REQUESTS
1) All of the Caringbridge kids and their families.
2) Chris, Cathy and baby Lauren
3) My Starbright friends and their families
THANK YOU!!

JUNE 29TH UPDATE
Howdy all! I hope you guys have all had a good weekend. Well, it's been totally awsome having our family here these past few days. It's soooooo great to see them, i've missed em' a lot! My Aunt Lisa and Uncle Dave, cousins Phillip and Matt and my Aunt Peggy all came in on Thursday night and they just left today. My Aunt Susie, Uncle Charles, Will, Chase and Melissa (cousins) are still here and will be leavin' tomorrow. Needless to say, it has been a full house :-) My Grandparents were susposed to be here but apparently my Grandpa isen't doing too well. He has a lot of heath problems and was unable to travel. If you guys wouldn't mind, he could use some prayers right now, i'd appreciate it. Anywayz, we took tons of pictures this weekend of me and the fam, so i'll be adding them to my picturetrail album soon. As soon as the computer guy comes out and fixes my lovely machine i'll add them, (im on Morgan's computer at the moment cuz' mine went insane and died on me Friday night.) Anyhoo, today was Morgan's birthday. It was fun having family here for it. We played video games and watched a buncha movies, it was kewl. Last night we all watched "The Ring" and "They." Guys, if you haven't seen The Ring yet and you scare easy, i strongly suggest that you skip that one :-) It was purdy scary, i liked it though, im a scary movie freak. Anyways, here is the health update stuff: My G tube is still clogged, we are gonna' try like one more time to plunge it out and unclogg it and if that doesn't work, i guess floroscope is the next thing. I really hope the plunger works this time ::Fingers crossed:: Anyway, i've been feelin' pretty tired the last few days or so and have been having a good amount of tummy pain. I haven't been getting much sleep so im gonna' try and take more naps when i can. I start hematon in like, a week and a half so that'll help the stomach pain then. Ok, ::ponders:: what else is going on to tell you about. Well, besides winning the lottery, moving to Hawaii, getting my electric wheelchair and meeting George Clooney, not too much is happening here. Hehe, just jokin'. Hey, a girl can dream can't she? :-) Anywayz guys, it's purdy late (that's a shocker huh) so im gonna' get some rest for now. Thank you all so much for the awsome guestbook enteries from the members of "ROAK" and everyone else too! I really do appreciate it so much. Keep on signin' :-) G'nite all, until next time, as Conan says....."KEEP COOL MY BABIES!!" Oh c'mon guys, you know you like my little catch phrase, it's growing on you at least :-) Well, maybe not, lol, but i cant help saying it. TTYL!
~Lauren @:-)
PRAYER REQUESTS
1) All of the caringbridge kids, especially MJ, Amy M, Lindsey, and every other kid with an illness!
2) My Grandpa, that he get's better soon.
Thank you!!

JULY 3RD UPDATE
Howdy my homies! I hope this week has been a good one for you all. This update wont be too super long cuz' im pretty tired and stuff, but i just wanted to tell ya'll about a few things and wish you a happy and SAFE 4th of July! We dont really have any plans, just watch some movies and some fireworks on tv. I think we're gonna' get a few sparkelers which are always fun :-) Hey, i could probably just take one of the silver nitrate sticks we use on my JG tube and light it on fire. That would probably cause some sparks, and they look like sparkelers! Well maybe i'll pass on that idea, we dont need to burn the whole house down because of a flaming silver nitrate stick, that wouldnt be cool my babies :-) Anyhoo, i have something super exciting happening in a few weeks. A few of my really good friends from Starbright are coming to visit, along with the boss lady who is like in charge of Starbright World. Im really excited, i talk to these people literally every day for hours so its gonna' be awsome meeting them face to face! I'll keep ya' updated on that whole thing. Anywayz, i start hematon again Monday, hopefully this time we will get me accessed on the first stick, i've had a whole lot of problems with bad infections in my lines in the past, not with this one though, ::knocks on wood extremely hard:: Anyhoo, im gonna' get some rest, i've been really tired this week, for some reason i've been having a lot of sleeping problems. I've only been getting about 5 hours sleep or so. Take care everybody and have an awsome 4th!! I'll write again soon, until next time guys......BE COOL MY BABIES!!
~Lauren @:-)
P.S. Thank you guys for all the sweet guestbook entries, keep um' coming! :-)
P.P.S Please keep praying for all the Caringbridge and Starbright kids, and everyone dealing with illnesses. Thank you!
JOKE OF THE DAY!
QUESTION: What did the rapper say to his real estate agent?
ANSWER: "I want my homie!"
Get it? I know i know, lame. LOL.

Monday, June 9, 2003 3:21 AM CDT

Howdy everybody, I'm sorry it's been a while since my last update! I hope all my homies out there are doing ok and everything is tight. I know i shouldn't even attempt cool person talk, but hey it's fun :-) Anyways, my new tube itself is working ok, and the "prowed" skin around the tube looks like is seems to be healing a bit. I think that good old burning silver nirtate is helping. My stomach has been hurting quite a bit the last week or so, i think using the G tube as oppsose to the J to give meds is kinda' hard on my tummy, but im assuming it will adjust to it in time. When we were in the hospital this time Dr. Brewer wrote some scripts for a couple new meds, one is neurontin which i have been on before but now i can take it again since we have a G tube for meds, and the other is magnesium which i will do everyday but take like double the amount around hematon time. Tomorrow i get accessed and start hematon again and we're also gonna start the magnesium for the first time. So hopefully the ole' tummy will handle it ok. Anyways, my Make a Wish person Jerry and another really nice guy came out here today and we talked about my wish. It is between an entertainment system for my room or a brand new video confrencing thing for me and a couple of my friends so we could see eachother and talk and stuff. I haven't quite decided yet. Hmmm, ok what else is going on in Laurenville. :ponders: Oh yeah, my Aunt and Uncle and cousin are coming to see us next weekend, they only get to come up once a year so it should be fun. Anyhoo, my friend MJ, who also has a JG tubie, JUST got her's replaced like 3 weeks ago and i heard that yesterday it allready burst, BIGTIME bummer. So if you all dont mind, please pray 4 her, shes having a rough time right now. Ok im outta' here for now, time to try and catch some z's, i'll update again soon! In the meantime.....brace yourself everybody.....you probably know what's coming next.....BE COOL MY BABIES!! lol, im sorry if i traumatized you guys again, i just cant fight the urge to utter that phrase:-) TTYL!
~Lauren :-)
P.S. PRAYER REQUESTS~MJ and her tube, all the caringbridge kids and everyone with an illness, and that my accessing, ect goes ok. Thank you all!

June the 13th update

Hiya my homies! I hope everybody had a good week. Well, Tuesday night we had some problems with my new JG tube. My Mom went to put in the magnesiun, she flushed it in, and then it just stopped. She tried and tried to flush it, nothing. It is exactly what happened to my last tube, only with my last one, my Dad kept trying to force the flush in and he put to much pressure on it and it burst. So, we called the on call nurse and she said to try putting in some fizzy pop like coke and just let it sit in there and hopefully desolve the clog. We tried but it is so clogged that we couldnt even get any of it in, it was total resistance when we tried flushing. So the GI docs gave us, as i call it, a "tubey plunger brush." Very technical name huh? Basically this is a special brush that you stick down tummy tubes to try and unglog the tube. Think of a toliet plunger, its the same idea as that in a nutshell. So anyways, we try that, it doesn't work either cuz it wouldnt go down far enough. The plugged up clog is literally in the part of the tube that goes right into my tummy. It looks like cement sitting in there. We called the GI lab again after we tried the plunger and they said try putting the plunger down, and at the same time pour coke in and sent the fizziness right to where the clog is. We're gonna' try that tomorrow. So, to make a long story short, i have the unbelieveably strong urge to scream and swear at my tube. Of course, this would be pointless, and i think i can think of something more productive to do than scream at a rubber and plastic tube. In the meantime though, the J port is still working thank God, its just the G that is clogged, (the G is where i get non liquid meds.) It just really busts my chops that this new tube is only exactly two weeks old and it's allready clogged, but we will work it out one way or another. ::fights strong urge to yell profanities at tube:: Woah that was close....im ok now. lol. Im such a geek. Anywayz, i got my hematon treatments this week and got deaccessed today. The new nurse did ok with everything, except for having to stick me twice cuz' the good ole' port slipped out of the way when she stuck the needle in. I've been kinda' nausious and headachey this week, which is how i always feel on hematon, but the zofran haled a little which is good. Well my friends, as always, it is purdy late and im gonna go get some sleepy poo. Aunt Winnie and everyone are coming tomorrow so i'd like to be somewhat awake when they get here ,lol. I'll write again soon, in the meantime, it's time again for my favorite little phrase.......KEEP COOL MY BABIES!! Hehe :-) TTYL!
~Lauren @:-)
P.S. Please pray for all the caringbridge kids and their families, especially those to who lost their battles with their diseases in recent days. Colby, Jalen, Natasha, Anthony, and Brandon are all kids who have passed away in the last few weeks, please pray for them and their families. You can visit their webpages by going to the "Adopt a kids" site, and clicking on caringbridge. Thank you all!