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http://www.sierrasjourney.com
http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/sierra

Dear Alexabdria's family
I found your page through QOL..
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter.nothing I can say will take away your pain ..I share in your sorrow as my son jacob died this june I understand what you are going through
with love Jacob's mum

Doris (Angel Andrew's Mommy) <cdmaa@comcast.net>
- Friday, July 22, 2005 11:53 PM CDT

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Sorry about the update, some words were left out.I will continue to lift you up in prayer. Frannie is not doing so good and I'm got a little confused about what I was saying. But know I am still praying for you family.
Viesta and Frannie King <viestaking@yahoo.com or caringbridge/nc/frannie>
- Monday, July 18, 2005 2:28 AM CDT

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Hi, it's Frannies mom, and I just wanted to say thank you for praying for my little girl, I pray for all the families that has lost a child along the way, and I ask God to give them to be with them, We can make it, with God on our side, I know it's been a while, but your love lives on. She will always be with you, May God bless you
Viesta and Frannie King <viestaking@yahoo.com or caringbridge/nc/frannie>
- Monday, July 18, 2005 2:23 AM CDT

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Just checking in and to see how you are doing. We still think about you every time we turn on the computer and say a short prayer. See you soon.

The Shoemaker's <4.shoes@charter.net>
St. Paul, mo usa - Tuesday, July 12, 2005 10:30 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks! So glad to see you made it back safely! Looks like you must have brought Dennis home with you though! LOL I hope that your trip provided the R&R that you all deserve. Much love and prayers...
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, July 12, 2005 8:55 AM CDT

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WOW! You all got out of there just in time...missed Dennis and Jaws LoL!...

I am glad you were able to go and have fun...

Thank you so much for taking the time to let us know you are praying for Cody it means so much...

You all remain in our thoughts and prayers...everyday.
In Love & Prayer...Eleasha & Cody <eleasha@cox.net>
www.caringbridge.org/va/cody, - Tuesday, July 12, 2005 6:04 AM CDT

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alison- thinking of you and your beautiful family. may God bless you.
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Tuesday, July 5, 2005 9:35 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and praying for you. Hope you are able to have a Happy 4th!
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, - Monday, July 4, 2005 2:43 PM CDT

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Been WAY too long since I've signed in, but rarely a day goes by when God doesn't place you in my thoughts. Know that every time the Lord puts you on my heart, I pray for you. I still remember you guys being the very first to sign my guestbook and it meant so much to me. I love you. HUGS!
Khalita Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@yahoo.com>
Lexington, NC - Sunday, July 3, 2005 8:09 PM CDT

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What a beautiful child....you were so blessed to be chosen to be her mother. What a special gift. May Alexandria's Angels Fly High!~
A friend from Louisiana
- Thursday, June 30, 2005 2:58 PM CDT

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Hi Alison and crew...been thinking about you all and wanted to drop by and say hello! I hope you enjoy your much deserved R&R - safe travels my friend! Love to you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, June 29, 2005 8:42 AM CDT

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hi haddocks! i haven't seen you all in a while, i miss you guys! i have been thinking about you all alot lately so i have been praying and hoping to see you all, i hope you all are doing well.. we are, i had my 13th birthday about a month ago, and katie got her license!! the school year has finally ended, so next year i'll be in eighth grade and katie will be a junior, katie and i are doing alot of camps this year, and katie has been looking into colleges already, i know!! wow!! mom and dad are doing great as well, dad's been traveling alot lately but that will end within the next few weeks, and mom's just been working, not too much, but she's doing great! and redford as usual, is being his ol' lazy self!! well i think that's all that's going on with the vollmayers! i hope you all are doing as well as we are!! please tell the hunter, hayden, and addison that i said hi and that i love them so much!!
love always,
D.Anne
D.Anne <angelgirl5@earthlink.net>
- Monday, June 27, 2005 12:22 AM CDT

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Hi! Alison you have been on my heart lately and I wanted to let you know I have been praying for you. You are a very strong woman and you should be very proud of yourself.
Juli Cooper <jlogan1995@sbcglobal.net>
Festus, Mo - Wednesday, June 22, 2005 9:01 PM CDT

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You are so right, we never know what someone else goes through, until we walk a mile in their shoes. So sorry for your troubles, hopefully the worst in behind you now. I continue to find this website uplifting. Thank you so much for your constant words of wisdom and hope. Its great that you were able to get away with your beloved family and have a fun-filled vacation to Disney. May God continue to hold you and yours close.
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Thursday, June 16, 2005 9:30 AM CDT

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Boy I must've been having "sympathy prednisone weepiness, bitterness attacks" along with you..... check out my journal entry (sigh). Glad to hear you're on the mend and sorry Florida wasn't so nice to you this time around (well at least the sun/poison ivy/poison oak/thingy you got wasn't nice to you)..... Miss talking to ya. Been super busy here as well. Hugs to you sister.
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Wednesday, June 15, 2005 2:25 PM CDT

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Just checking in on the Haddocks. I hope that all is well. Please know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Monday, June 13, 2005 0:05 AM CDT

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Just checking in. Take care.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Thursday, June 9, 2005 6:17 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks! Just wanted to wish you all a happy holiday weekend! Hugs!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Friday, May 27, 2005 9:35 AM CDT

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Hi Haddocks,
It was great to see you all in Florida. Amazing that we need to go 1000 miles for a visit, although I'm not complaining! Actually, we must do it more often! Can't wait to see your photos.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@att.net>
Wildwood, MO USA - Sunday, May 22, 2005 8:50 PM CDT

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Welcome Home!!!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Friday, May 20, 2005 8:46 AM CDT

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We feel your pain. We also lost a child to leukemia. Your in our hearts and prayers. God Bless.
Jeff Holt (www.caringbridge.org/mn/ryanholt) <c_holt@hotmail.com>
buffalo, mn - Wednesday, May 18, 2005 12:31 AM CDT

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I just wanted to let you know that you are not forgotten. I continue to think of and pray for you. Blessings and love in Christ. You are dear to my heart.
Khalita Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@yahoo.com>
Lexington, NC - Monday, May 16, 2005 9:40 PM CDT

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ANGEL ALEXANDRIA, I AM THINKING ABOUT YOU, LOVING YOU AND MISSING YOU SO MUCH TODAY. JUST A VERY HARD DAY. I MISS YOU. LOVE, MEMAW
NOEL <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO USA - Wednesday, May 11, 2005 1:47 PM CDT

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Hi Alison - hope you had a nice Mother's Day. Many thoughts and prayers being sent your way! Love you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, May 10, 2005 9:05 AM CDT

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Thoughts of you filled my heart and head yesterday. I hope that your Mother's Day was peaceful. I am certain that a beautiful angel was watching you and loving you from above. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Monday, May 9, 2005 7:25 PM CDT

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Love, Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
EJ's Caring Place
- Monday, May 9, 2005 0:28 AM CDT

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Happy Mothers Day my friend. Thinking of you today.
Love you, see ya soon.
Evelyn Johnson <gecsa@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Sunday, May 8, 2005 6:46 PM CDT

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Happy Mother's Day my friend! Here's hoping you have a peaceful day. Can't wait till you get here!!! :o)
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Sunday, May 8, 2005 10:40 AM CDT

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Alison,
I am thinking of you and your beautiful "Angel" Alexandria this Mother's Day, as well as the rest of your beautiful family. You are in my prayers.
Kathy H.
T.O., CA - Saturday, May 7, 2005 11:37 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I know tomorrow is probably not an easy day for you. I am sure you will smile and enjoy your three children here on earth to the fullest, but I know there will always be an emptiness without Alexandria here to share it too. Praying for you and keeping you close to my heart.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, - Saturday, May 7, 2005 4:41 PM CDT

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Hoping you have a Happy Mothers Day somehow, and spend the day remembering the good times with your little cutie.
Chris Gooch's mom Share the Love
- Friday, May 6, 2005 7:35 PM CDT

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I read and then I weep. I am so sorry. My son has been gone for 29 yrs and my baby girl 26yrs. We will think about them forever. I too was so blessed with haveing some other children also they are grown now but bring me joy. God Bless. Meme and her jordy
www3.caringbridge.org/mo/memerobin
- Thursday, May 5, 2005 10:20 AM CDT

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Hello Allison,
Thank you for continuing to update Alexandria's web page. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Nicky H
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
- Monday, May 2, 2005 9:23 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Thank you once again for blessing me with an insightful and meaningful journal entry. You teach me so much from all that you have to share. Blessings to you always.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, - Monday, May 2, 2005 5:35 PM CDT

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Hello Alison,

Yes...I can only imagine...dancing and falling down on our knees. Just wanted to wish you and your family a nice weekend. I know you will always miss beautiful Alexandria but also know that her soul has so much joy right now!!

...I can only imagine...

God bless,
Monica
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Friday, April 22, 2005 8:38 AM CDT

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Just thinking of the Haddock family and wanted to say hello. I hope that you are all doing well. As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Thursday, April 21, 2005 2:25 PM CDT

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Uh....hello???? It was your birthday last week???? Could you have at least dropped a hint???? Lol- ok, maybe you didn't want to get one year closer to my old age :o) Sooooo... in honor of our girls...(and several days late)...ahem....(clearing throat).... Happy Birthday to You (cha-cha-cha)... Happy Birthday to You (cha-cha-cha)... Happy Birthday Dear Alison..... Happy Birthday to YOU (CHA-CHA-CHA!!!!!)..... Sorry I missed your birthday. Sending you a hug!!! Love ya and can't wait till next month and your trip to Florida :o)
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Tuesday, April 19, 2005 3:01 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks! Just wanted to drop by and say hello! Really looking forward to seeing you, Alison - give my love to Grant and the kids!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, April 19, 2005 9:05 AM CDT

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ok, I am a day late sweet sister, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (cha cha cha), HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (cha cha cha), HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ALISON, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (cha cha cha)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Love, Michelle
Michelle Suter <michelle1210@yahoo.com>
LEWISVILLE, TX - Friday, April 15, 2005 2:08 PM CDT

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Thinking of you this evening and wanted to send greetings from our family to yours. DH said we are in for some pretty days ahead, I can't wait for all the sunshine!
Take care.

Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
- Thursday, April 14, 2005 10:39 PM CDT

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The Cord

We are connected my child and I,
by an invisible cord not seen by the eye.

It is not like the cord
that connects us til birth
this cord can't be seen
by any on earth

This cord does it's work
right from the start
it binds us together
attached to my heart.

I know that it's there
though no one can see
the invisible cord
from my child to me.

The strength of this cord
is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed,
it can't be denied

It's stronger than any cord
man could create.
It withstands the test
can hold any weight

and though you are gone
though your not here with me
the cord is still there
but no one can see

It pulls at my heart,
I am bruised....... I am sore
But this cord is my lifeline
as never before..

I am thankful that God
connects us this way
a mother and child
death can't take it away!!!!!!!
LOVE BRENDA My Loving Dad's Site <brurka@shaw.ca>
Edmonton,Alberta CANADA, - Thursday, April 14, 2005 2:49 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Tuesday, April 12, 2005 9:56 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I'm glad you had a nice spring break. Don't ever worry about your updates being too long, they are ALWAYS so worth reading!! Blessings to you and your family always.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, - Tuesday, April 12, 2005 2:30 PM CDT

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Hello Haddock's! I'm one of your most faithful lurkers, but I thought I'd write a quick note! I hope all is well!
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, April 12, 2005 2:16 PM CDT

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Thank you for signing my guestbook. I have been checking your site and praying for the requests you post. I am thankful that you find the time to check on others when you clearly have so many other things to be doing. Just know that I appreciate it and that you are loved and prayed for. Blessings in Christ.
Khalita Duke Peds BMT - Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Sunday, April 10, 2005 2:30 PM CDT

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Good morning Haddocks! I was exhausted just reading about your spring break! What kind of vitamins do you all take? LOL

Really looking forward to seeing you later this month! Much love to you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Friday, April 8, 2005 9:02 AM CDT

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Alison,
I would be very disappointed if your entries were any different-they are such in inspiration to me. Just stopped by to see how everyone is doing and say HI.
Love,
Jenni
Jenni Burford <jenni.burford@cox.net>
Bentonville, AR - Thursday, April 7, 2005 5:51 PM CDT

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Imagine my surprise... opened my Post Dispatch the other morning to see my friend, Alison, quoted on the front page! WOW! I know somebody famous! :) I was also surprised that you gave them the wrong age! tee-hee Hope things are ok with you all. We're EXHAUSTED!
with love jan livingstone (andy's mom forever)
- Tuesday, April 5, 2005 12:57 AM CDT

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Happy Easter Haddock Family!!!! May God bless you all. You are a family I would love to meet someday. What you do for others is truly amazing. You all are exceptional people.

Hmmm....I only wish you lived closer because my house needs some serious help. :-)

My prayers and thoughts are with you and sooooo many others.


Much love at this Easter season,
Nicky H
Nicky H <three4me2356@comcast.net>
- Sunday, March 27, 2005 10:52 PM CST

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Happy Easter to the Haddock Family!
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Sunday, March 27, 2005 7:49 PM CST

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Just stopping by to wish Alexandria's family a Happy Easter.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Sunday, March 27, 2005 8:03 AM CST

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Happy Easter. I know two little girls with the pinkest and frilliest dresses in all of Heaven.....not to mention the Easter bonnets and pretty shoes :o) Sending you prayers for a peaceful day today and always.
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Sunday, March 27, 2005 8:01 AM CST

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Hi Haddocks! I just wanted to stop by and wish you all a very happy Easter! Looking forward to seeing you soon!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Friday, March 25, 2005 8:38 AM CST

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I'm sorry I didn't find Alexandria's web site until now. I wish I could have left a message on February 16. But I'll be here next February to make up. Nobody's going to forget her, or her family because you are all so special! Jesus knows all about what you've gone through even if we out here really don't. For me, I can only suspect that you were given the burden's and the suffering that were meant for many others, so they wouldn't have to endure them. I'm probably one of those people, so I say thank you. It's beyond my ability to make you all feel better, even though I wish I could. So all I can say is remember that God always keeps track of such things, What he gives to people, and what they do with it. So the reward for your sacrifice will be that much greater. I know that's precious little comfort for two years without your baby, but it's all that God will allow for the moment. I hope that Easter Sunday brings your family closer to God, because that will also bring you closer to your little Alexandria, and maybe that really will make you feel better.
Michael <itsmike@jessicaalba.zzn.com>
Mesa, Az USA - Friday, March 25, 2005 7:42 AM CST

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Just checking in. Hope all is well, see you Friday at home group.
The Shoemaker's <4.shoes@charter.net>
ofallon, Mo usa - Wednesday, March 23, 2005 11:15 PM CST

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Alison: What a BEAUTIFUL journal entry...you brought me to tears. :) What a testimony to God and your church. I love coming here, though I do not sign often. Please know you continue on in my prayers. Thanks for sharing all that you do!
Blessings,
Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
If you feel so led, would love to have you stop by and sign in. :)
EJ's Caring Place
- Sunday, March 20, 2005 2:49 PM CST

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HAPPY EASTER LOVE WWW.POSTPALS.CO.UK


Post Pals <info@postpals.co.uk>
- Sunday, March 20, 2005 5:42 AM CST

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What a beautiful journal entry. Thank-you. Still stopping by and sending love and prayers.
The Coe's <jillco8@cox.net caringbridge.org/va/trevorco>
- Saturday, March 19, 2005 7:55 PM CST

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Boy, it's been toooooo long since we chatted. Hope you're doing "ok". Thinking about our girls always..... love ya sister :o)
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Friday, March 18, 2005 7:44 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks - was just sitting here thinking about you all and wanted to stop by and say hi! Really looking forward to seeing you Alison - it's been too long, my friend. :)

Love to you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Friday, March 18, 2005 4:05 PM CST

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I'm Sarah Johnson's cousin Katie Moyer. Sarah talked about your beautiful children oftan when she come home for the summers. She always had wonderful storise to tell me about times she watched them and fun things they did. She told me many stories about Alex also. Sarah loves all your kids sooo much. I felt honered to get to hear the stories of your beautiful and wonderful Alex. Her beautiful smile reminds me of my Sarah and how she was always smiling. God bless and I will keep praying for your family.
Katie Moyer <tinkerbell_lobster_06@yahoo.com>
Bradford, PA USA - Tuesday, March 15, 2005 7:59 PM CST

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I am so sorry for your loss, I will be praying for your family. From one angel mum to another I send you ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) My daughter became an angel on 1-8-05 she was 4 yrs old.
www.myangelteagyn.bravehost.com
Nicola <teagynsmum@aol.com>
Virginia Beach , va 23453 - Tuesday, March 15, 2005 0:43 AM CST

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Dear Grant and Alison,
I just wanted to let you know that there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of Alexandria. Whenever I would get discouraged emotionally and physically during my 7 months of treatment I thought of Alexandria and fought for a way to honor her memory, facing this ordeal with courage and steadfast resolution.
Kimberly Gottlieb <kimberly.gottlieb@gmail.com>
Ellisville, MO 63011 - Monday, March 14, 2005 7:16 PM CST

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Grant and Alison.....you are always in my heart and prayers. Thank you for continuing to share you story.
Anne Merten <amerten@insight.rr.com>
Westerville, OH USA - Friday, March 11, 2005 10:54 AM CST

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Grant & Alison,
How true it is to realize how gracious our Lord is to us. He is amazing. We also agree with you that it is good to say goodbye to February. We continue to be blessed by your friendship and love. What a joy it would be to peak in on our two little girls as they play and worship Jesus in heaven. We love you and the kids (all 4 of them) very much.
Have a great weekend,
John & Johnelle
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Saturday, March 5, 2005 9:34 PM CST

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Hi Alison, your journal entries continue to move me beyond words. Your gift for sharing is such a blessing and I feel so fortunate to be able to call you my friend. :) Many prayers and lots of love and hugs being sent your way!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Thursday, March 3, 2005 8:41 AM CST

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I continue to "hit" the website but I don't always leave words...when I'm having a tough day, which seems daily when you have a 5 & 3 1/2 yr old, I look to this site to give me strength. I constantly come here for an update. I continue to keep your family in my prayers.
Kathy Adelson Laucius <klaucius@sbcglobal.net>
Houston, TX USA - Wednesday, March 2, 2005 9:08 PM CST

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Alison, once again I am totally in awe of your eloquence in writing. I feel close to you, and yet I don't even know you. I continue to keep you and your precious family in my thoughts and prayers.

Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Wednesday, March 2, 2005 1:54 PM CST

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Hi Alison and Grant,
Lots of prayers were said for you and your family this past month. (I'm through with February). As usual, your journal entry brings most of us to our knees. Your faith is abundant, and it has carried you through these darkest of times. I only hope that I can learn to have the faith that you do. We hope to see you soon.
Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@att.net>
Wildwood, MO USA - Monday, February 28, 2005 4:30 PM CST

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What a beautiful entry. I'm sure there was a huge party for Alexandria in Heaven and her grandfather was sitting at the head of the table. ALL of your children are beautiful. My prayers and thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.

Nicky H
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
- Saturday, February 26, 2005 9:07 PM CST

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God's richest blessings to you dear Hayduk family. Life is always with purpose and your little Alexandria has proven that through the foundation created in her name. Our God has blessed you to not miss the reason for her being with the work you are doing for others.
Joyce Link
Chesterton, In USA - Friday, February 25, 2005 11:16 AM CST

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Just stopping by Alison to say I am thinking of you and praying for you. Hoping that with February coming to an end the days will seem brighter.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, - Friday, February 25, 2005 8:47 AM CST

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Oh my goodness! I saw the same rainbow - I even called Johnelle when I saw it!

Once again, your words are so beautiful...I feel so blessed to be able to call you my friend. Looking forward to us being able to get together soon! Much love and prayers to you all...
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, February 23, 2005 9:10 AM CST

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Hello my friend... I hope you are starting to crawl out of the valley, I know it's hard some times. I'm thinking of you so very much & continue to lift you in prayer. love ya
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Monday, February 21, 2005 7:26 PM CST

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Your family is still in my thoughts and prayers.
Anita Moore www.caringbridge.org/mo/hollyemoore <armoore@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Sunday, February 20, 2005 11:34 PM CST

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You probably do not remember me but I was one of the nurses that took care of your daughter at children's hospital.I saw your husband on Feb. 17th. Such a small world. We only see families at the hospital and then to see them outside of that enviroment is so different.Since the 17th, I keep thinking about the families on our floor whose children have past. I was filled with so much emotion the day I saw your husband and it has stuck with me. I too have a child. I constantly think how brave all of you parents are and how strong. . . I have watched many of you with your children in the worst situations possible(nausea, vomiting, sick with infections and even prior to going to heaven) and I am truelly touched by your ability to be wonderful, kind, caring individuals despite all that is going on in your lives. I don't think any of you know how much we look up to you. You are role models to us all in so many ways.Stay strong. We are all praying for you and your family.
alicia carmack <cmack003@msn.com>
- Sunday, February 20, 2005 1:14 AM CST

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Alison,
What a beautiful letter to your precious Alexandria as she celebrates her angelversary in heaven. May God continue to ease your pain and suffering through others. We're all here in this big beautiful world together to give one another love and support, especially when it's needed the most.
As always, your journal entry brought me to tears as I am reminded once again, what is really important in this life. We can never be reminded enough especially in this day and age! Thanks Alison for sharing your life and love with all of us. The lessons you continue to teach, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Love & many blessings....
Lynn
Long Island, NY - Saturday, February 19, 2005 12:43 AM CST

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Hi Haddocks,
I hope that you all were able to feel the prayers, love, and caring directed your way through this most difficult week. As usual, your letter to your precious daughter made us cry as we struggle to comprehend the beast called cancer. Alexandria was such a special little girl who was born to the most wonderful family. God sure knew what he was doing when he chose you to be her parents. We continue to hold you in our prayers.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@att.net>
Wildwood, MO USA - Saturday, February 19, 2005 10:38 AM CST

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Two years already, wow. But it must feel like a hundred years to you already. I know Alexandria had a Heavenly Birthday, but also know her presence was missed more than ever here. Wishing you all peace,
Chris - Gooch's mom
- Friday, February 18, 2005 7:48 PM CST

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Dear Haddocks,
I just wanted to let you know that I think about you all of the time. Monday was my sixteenth birthday! Hopefully I can come out and play with the kids soon. I was here for you two years ago, and am still here today.

Love,
Katie V
Katie Vollmayer <kav1113@earthlink.net>
wildwood, MO - Friday, February 18, 2005 1:05 PM CST

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We sat at the office this morning gathered around a computer reading your entry from Alexandria's second "Angelversary" and were so moved. How very precious your love and heart are. We are so grateful for your family. We lift up a united prayer asking for God's comfort and peace for you. Praise God for Alexandria's precious life! Praise God she had such a loving family! We love you, Katie, Charlie, Brian and Trey
Fellowship Church <ckms@juno.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Friday, February 18, 2005 10:29 AM CST

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Hello Haddock Family,
I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you during this especially difficult time.
Not a day goes by that I don't check this site.
Continued love and prayers for you all always :)
Mrs. Scott <moscotts@aol.com>
- Friday, February 18, 2005 0:26 AM CST

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Sorry I am a day late, but I wanted to get here and let you know I was thinking of you and your family. I hope you feel God's love all around you and that knowing so many people care brings you great comfort.
God bless,
Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
EJ's Caring Place
- Thursday, February 17, 2005 11:43 PM CST

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Sorry we missed the anniversary day to tell you we think of your family as good friends. Friday nite dinner and bowling last week was a blast. We will continue to help with your cause to help any families who need help. We will continue to pray for your family. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.
The Shoemaker's <4.shoes@charter.net>
ofallon, Mo usa - Thursday, February 17, 2005 10:37 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks--I am thinking of you today. I am sorry that I am writing on the last hour of the 'angelversary' and not sooner. I think of you all often and pray for you. I had to tell you who met Grant tonight--it was my boyfriend, Josh (who had cancer 11 years ago). They talked for a bit and I do not believe either of them put it together. Josh usually is more quiet about his story. He told me that he wasn't going to mention his cancer, but before he knew it, he was talking about it without knowing why or realizing the significance at the time. However, meeting Grant was very special to him; we feel there was some divine intervention from above to bring them together. We will talk to you soon! I love you all and am so happy you have come into my life.
Rachel Baumgartner and Josh Brautigam <Obsessedwithlife@hotmail.com>
Saint Louis, Mo - Thursday, February 17, 2005 10:20 PM CST

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alison! just came by to let you know i am thinking of you and your family and adorable alexandria! what an incredible tribute to her. i just sat and cried. it was beautiful. alexandria was the first site i ever went to! she truly, truly continues to touch me and move me in directions i never thought i would go! incredible!!! what a gift i have found in finding alexandria and you and so many others. God bless you girl and the beautiful words you speak. His power in work in you is more than we can imagine!

sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Thursday, February 17, 2005 9:31 PM CST

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Alison,
I know I am a day late with signing in, but I have been thinking of all of you since the beginning of the week. I know the days leading up to the anniversary date and the ones that follow can also be difficult. Therefore, you have been on my mind a lot this week. Your update tugged at my heart and the tears flowed. You write so eloquently and are able to express your feelings so well. Alison, you have a wonderful gift with words. Alexandria was also one of my first "caringbridge kids". I don't even remember how I came across her site, but I immediately was addicted to her beautiful smile and also her mother's tremendous love for her daughter and inspiring faith in God. Alexandria has blessed me in so many ways and she will never be forgotten. I have learned so much from you Alison. I have to admit three years ago I would have been one of those people feeling uncomfortable about your response of 4 children....but it is because of your updates and others on Caringbridge like you, I "get it" and know how to respond to the mother of a child that has gone to heaven. So many on Caringbridge have taught me the "right" things to say, and the "right" ways to act, along with the "what not to say and do". I know because of that, I am a better person and that is pleasing to God. I can never thank you enough for the valuable teaching and lessons that I have learned from Alexandria and her family, especially you Alison. I will continue to pray for you, especially during February. God bless.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, - Thursday, February 17, 2005 9:00 PM CST

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Hello, Haddock Family. I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you during this especially difficult time. Alexandria captured my heart, more than two years ago, when I "found" her on CaringBridge. She was one of my first "friends", and unfortunately, one of the first ones I lost. Although I never met her personally, I always felt close to her, especially through her Mommy's constant journal updates. I remember the day she passed away and how I cried. It was shortly after I lost another little friend, sweet Meghan M. from FL...HOW I cried at both of these losses. I wanted you to know that your family is still in my thoughts, and always will be. Alexandria captured a piece of my heart so many months ago and I refruse to let anything take that away.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Thursday, February 17, 2005 5:20 PM CST

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I said a prayer for you all yesterday. I still think of sweet Alexandria every day, and I still enjoy checking in and seeing her sweet little face on this website every day (or as close to every day as I can)!
Grace and Peace,

Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Thursday, February 17, 2005 3:07 PM CST

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Your story has touched me deeply. I have been thinking about you this week and hoping that you would make it through this difficult day. Your family is in my prayers.
Heidi Dempsey <dempseyh@ecsd.net>
Spruce Grove, AB Canada - Thursday, February 17, 2005 0:15 AM CST

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Thinking about you on this difficult day and remembering your precious Alexandria.
You are in my prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 8:15 PM CST

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I woke up today thinking of your family. I guess we get through these anniversaries by focusing on the wonderful memories we have. How truly blessed you are with so many people checking in on you today and praying for you. Don't you just wonder what Alexandria and Johnny are up to? Every time I buy a lottery ticket I think, "Come on you two - get with it and send me those winning numbers!" As always, you're in my prayers, Pat
Pat Hunter <pathunter@comcast.net>
Franklin, TN - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 6:36 PM CST

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Haddock Family,
I wanted to let you know we are thinking and praying for you today! You are always on our minds and in our prayers. We miss you all terribly and wish we could be there to give you a big hug. Keep smiling and see you soon...
Love, Lisa B
Lisa Ballard <lisaballard@cox.net>
Omaha, NE USA - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 6:08 PM CST

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Alison,
I just wanted you to know your on my mind today and I am praying for you.
Hugs,
Lisa
Lisa Mosley <paulmosley@juno.com>
- Wednesday, February 16, 2005 5:36 PM CST

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I know today is hard for you. I want you to know you're in my thoughts and prayers a little more than usual. Blessings.
Khalita Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 5:29 PM CST

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Thinking about you and praying for your family today.
Julene
- Wednesday, February 16, 2005 3:30 PM CST

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Just thinking of you today.
kellie mcclendon
wentzville, mo - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 3:05 PM CST

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With my thanks for creating a world with dozens who now travel the road with Kenny. He continues to flourish and Mom continues to try to tell the doctors what's next.
Sue Shiels <Suzhomaker@aol.com>
Fenton, MO USA - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 2:41 PM CST

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I justed wanted to tell you that I was thinking about all of you today and pray for your family always. You have become a very special part of my family and I love the times we spend together. Please know that if you need anything we are just a few houses away.
Jeanine <jrien0512@aol.com>
ofallon, mo - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 2:39 PM CST

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Hey guys-

I know how hard today is for you. If you need a shoulder (or two) I'm a just a phone call away. I love you!!! (Hey if you book that Carnival trip I would be willing to babysit on board the ship for you ;)
Alexandria I have grown so much spiritual, have become a better person and have a better perspective on life because you. I love you sissy girl!!!

God Bless,

Dawn Dains
Alexandria's Angels Foundation <daisydains@msn.com>
wentzville, mo usa - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 1:56 PM CST

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Grant & Alison,

Can't put it into words, how we feel about you having to face this day. We haven't been there yet, although in 6 months, we will be. This is not an anniversary that parents should have to face. Just know that we are praying for you. You are such an encouragement to our family and the legacy that Alexandria left and still continues is amazing to us. We are very thankful that God brought our lives together. We cherish your friendship.

Love you all,
John & Johnelle
John & Johnelle Rhines www.caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St Charles, MO - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 1:53 PM CST

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My thoughts and prayers are with your family today.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 12:30 AM CST

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Thinking of you today. I'm hoping that only the wonderful, joyful memories are those that fill this difficult day. I continue to keep you and your devoted husband and family in my prayers.
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 10:43 AM CST

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I woke up today with the Haddock Family on my mind. I pray that God will give you strength and peace on this day and surround your life with happiness. We love you all!
Jenn Crowell <jenncrowell6@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, February 16, 2005 10:41 AM CST

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Thinking of you on this day...
Michele <Michele212@gmail.com>
New York, NY USA - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 10:31 AM CST

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Thoughts of Alexandria and your family are close at heart today. I continue to pray for all of you.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 9:39 AM CST

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THERE ARE NO WORDS TO EXPRESS WHAT I AM FEELING TODAY.
I JUST WANT TO SAY TO ALISON, GRANT, HUNTER, HAYDEN AND ADDISON THAT WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND PRAY FOR YOU EVERY DAY.
TO ANGEL ALEXANDRIA, I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WILL NEVER FORGET ABOUT YOU OR GET OVER LOSING YOU. LOVE, MEMAW AND PAWPAW
NOEL <NEOL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO USA - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 9:07 AM CST

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Hi Haddocks - just wanted to stop by and let you know that I was thinking of you all today. Praying that God's strength and peace will surround you. Much love to you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 8:53 AM CST

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Thinking of you and your family today. Peace be with you.
Kristine
Clayton, MO - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 8:46 AM CST

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SIGH............. I woke up thinking about you this morning and of course Alexandria. I take this day about as hard as I take the 7th. Sending you all the strength I have (which unfortunately might not be as much as I wish I had to send to you), but please know I love ya and of course am remembering your Sissy Girl. Savor the Flavor Alexandria......we all are just for you. (PS: Let me know if you accidently hit the "book a room" on Carnival.com :o)
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Wednesday, February 16, 2005 8:03 AM CST

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Thinking of you all. I actually went out and bought a card to mail, but life has been a bit hectic lately, and I haven't gotten around to actually mailing it. Please know that I am thinking of you and lifting you in prayer. Hope you feel enough love coming your way, to help you get thru another anniversary. God bless you all.
Andy's Mom forever
- Tuesday, February 15, 2005 7:49 PM CST

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Happy Valentine's Day, Haddocks!!

We just wanted to let you know how much we love you guys! Congratulations on hitting 300,000! It's so cool to see how many lives Alexandria continues to touch! What a great Valentine's Day present!

Love you all,
John & Johnelle
John & Johnelle Rhines www,caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Monday, February 14, 2005 9:40 PM CST

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Congratulations on the new job and the new kitty! :) Just wanted to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day! Love you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Monday, February 14, 2005 9:15 AM CST

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Hi Alison,
Thinking of you and your family and keeping you in my prayers.
Kathy H.
Thousand Oaks, CA - Sunday, February 13, 2005 11:43 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks,
Your new addition sounds cute. Now that you'll be home more you can even enjoy him! If only jobs actually required the same amount of time that they tell you you'll be putting in! Those hours seem to grow exponentially. Sounds like you made a very wise decision. Hope to see you soon.

Pam Passwater <a.passwater@att.net>
Wildwood, MO USA - Sunday, February 13, 2005 7:13 PM CST

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WHOOOOOO!!! Sissta. I was number 300,002. I wanted so bad to be number 300,000 to sign in!!! We reached the goal!!! Happy early Valentine's Day my dearest friends!!!! I love you!!!

Jan I've got my antibacterial soap on board and I'm ready to hold some babies. Thank you so much for the invite. I can't wait!!! Drop me a line.

Dawn Dains
Alexandria's Angels Foundations <daisydains@msn.com>
Wentzville, Mo USA - Sunday, February 13, 2005 4:56 PM CST

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Glad to read your update and to hear all is well.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, especially this week.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Sunday, February 13, 2005 2:24 PM CST

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Alison, it was so good to read your update. As always, it's filled with inspiration, lessons, love, all in which we can use. Thank you again for opening up your heart to all of us. As "the day" approaches, I pray for you and your family that God will ease your pain and sorrow on that day and fill it with love, blessings, and most of all peace for you and your family. May God continue to bless Alexandria in heaven. Bless that heavenly soul that is missed so much!
Your new addition sounds like an angel! May he bring joy and love to the whole family. I believe animals are God's gift to humans! They are full of love and joy ALL the time!
God bless you always....
Lynn
Long Island, NY - Sunday, February 13, 2005 10:10 AM CST

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Alison,
I pray for God's comfort for you during this rough month. I'm still checking in weekly but haven't written for awhile. Hugs to you all.
Jenni
Jenni Burford <jenni.burford@cox.net>
Bentonville, AR - Saturday, February 12, 2005 9:02 PM CST

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Blaze, what a nice name!! Oh how I love kitties! LOL I have 5. I know Blaze will add such fun and spunk to your life. Pets are such added blessings in life.
Take good care,
Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
EJ's Caring Place
- Saturday, February 12, 2005 5:01 PM CST

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Dear Alison,
Glad to hear that you will be updating more often. I always enjoy your words of wisdom. I think the decisions you have made were definitely good ones for you and your family. Yes, God always has a plan for each and every one of us. The new kitty, Blaze, sounds adorable. I hope he helps the "February sadness". Thinking of your precious valentine, Alexandria, today! God bless always.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, - Saturday, February 12, 2005 4:30 PM CST

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Hi Haddock's! Just checking in knowing this will be a diffucult month for you. The new kitty sounds adorable! I look forward to seeing you soon!
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Friday, February 11, 2005 9:27 AM CST

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Love, Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
EJ's Caring Place
- Friday, February 11, 2005 0:00 AM CST

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Hey there girlfriend! I am so very proud of you for your wise decision on the job front. It sure sounded like you were spread a bit thin lately. I'm sure the kids will be happy having you around and awake a bit more now. :) Maybe one day soon you'll have time to come over and change a diaper or two, at our house?!?!?! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yes Dawn... you can come too! Holding the entire Haddock family close in prayer. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Thursday, February 10, 2005 7:11 PM CST

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I think about you guys often. You are in my thoughts and prayers especially in these upcoming days. Grant, I have been playing the music from The Little Mermaid quite a bit lately and always think about you singing the song on the bus...imagining you singing with Alexandria. My heart breaks when I think about your pain I wish there was something that could make it go away or lessen. Just know you have lots of people praying for you and we will never forget your beautiful baby girl. God bless you! Love, Cat
Cat Borkowski <richncat@optonline.net>
Shoreham, NY - Wednesday, February 9, 2005 9:30 PM CST

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Well I just wanted to take a few moments to reach out once again and let you know that your family remains in our thoughts and prayers...

My prayer for you for this month is that you are wrapped in the everloving, ever present arms of the Father...swept away from the pain of loss...submerged in the comfort that comes from above...
In Love & Prayer...Eleasha & Cody & Family <eleasha@cox.net>
www.caringbridge.org/va/cody, - Wednesday, February 9, 2005 6:29 PM CST

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Alison-

OK I want to state for the record that I'm not sitting here hitting the refresh button 100 x's a day to hit 300,000 by February 16. LOL!!!! I do believe, however, that we have a little pink heavenly angel above that has quit a bit of a hand in this. Alexandria!!!! (and her little helpers Kailie, Meghan, Andy, etc...) Anyway it looks like it's going to happen!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!! It's your faith and encouraging words that has made these numbers continue to climb to amazing heights. Love you always.

God Bless,

Dawn Dains
Alexandria's Angels Foundation <daisydains@msn.com>
wentzville, mo usa - Wednesday, February 9, 2005 5:48 PM CST

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Dearest Alison,
Thank you for stopping by ANGEL COLBY'S site. And yes we understand how you feel! My God, you wounder how in the world could I have lost a precious child??? It is literally unconcieveable!!! It is coming up on Colby's birthday, and in a few months 2 years since he left us here on earth. Time, just doesn't reflect anything. It is still so painful, and yes that big hole in the heart is always there, and will always be there! I pray for all those having to go thru these battles, and I really feel for those of us who have to suffer with the loss of a child. Thinking of you and praying for you while sending lots of love from above - ANGEL COLBY JAMES COLE AND CREW.
(forever missing our precious angels)
jack - colby's daddy forever and ever
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby, uniontown pa usa - Wednesday, February 9, 2005 4:47 PM CST

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Alison,

My dear friend, you are constantly on my mind and in my prayers. I love the poem that LaKota's mom left. You are a survivor. You have such strength that Alexandria is, I am sure, so very proud of. I wish there was something I could say or do to make the pain go away. But you and I both know that is not possible. We do know, however, that God’s grace is sufficient and He, through His Holy Spirit, can give us an unspeakable joy, even when there is no reason to be joyful. We have salvation! We will see our girls again! I can’t wait! I am very thankful for your friendship…thanks for waiting with me!

Love you,
Johnelle

John & Johnelle Rhines www.caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, February 9, 2005 10:20 AM CST

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Just want you to know that your always in our prayers.
Love LaKota and her mom Debbie.

Here is a poem that I would like to share with all the moms that have a love one in that is in Heaven:

My Mom Is A Survivor


My Mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.
But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...a smile of disguise.
But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom...through Heaven's open door.
I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more.
But I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal~!

Author unknown.
http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/laplafcan <LaKotaDeb@Hotmail.com>
St.Cloud, MN - Tuesday, February 8, 2005 12:13 AM CST

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As always, I am moved to tears from your entry. You have such a beautiful spirit my friend. Many prayers and much love being sent your way. Love to you all...
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, February 8, 2005 8:54 AM CST

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Hello Haddock family. I check on you almost everyday but don't alway leave you a message...think you'd get tired of me! Anyway, I wanted you to know you are in my prayers. I know this is a tough month for you. I miss Addison too!!! God bless you.
Kellie McClendon <ckmcclendon@yahoo.com>
wentzville, mo - Tuesday, February 8, 2005 7:47 AM CST

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Alison: Thank you for the BEAUTIFUL words in my guestbook that I so needed. I've visited here before and somehow "lost" your page so I am so thankful that you signed in! Always "catches" my breath whenever I would read your introduction where your daughter was holding onto her 3 favorite things as she made her journey heavenward. I have your site bookmarked so that now I can visit often. Those entries you have posted in your journal...my they are heart-wrenching! I follow Lexy regularly, she is a special little girl and also listed in my links on my page. I am still praying for an Earthly healing, but if it is not HIS will then I pray for pain control and a gentle passing. My heart truly breaks for these families, only by God's Grace do they survive losing their children.
Blessings to you and thank you again!
P.S. - Your daughter is so beautiful, I am so sorry for you loss and how blessed WE are that you take time to encourgage US when you have faced such a devastating loss. Thank you.
Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
EJ's Caring Place
- Monday, February 7, 2005 8:42 PM CST

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I know you'll see this on my page, but I really wanted to share this with you. "I get a little distressed when I see people at funerals trying to comfort the family and friends of the deceased by pointing out that their loved one is in a "better place". ...But that is surely not the point We all know that the loved one that died is in a better place (or at least we hope so). We all know that this life is but a temporary city. We're not dimwits. We're just heartbroken. Jesus wept when His dear friend Lazarus died, even though He knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead. Jesus knows that horrible weight you feel in your heart; He knows that life has been torn apart for you. And when Jesus died, Mary and John and all those who loved Him didn't try to keep a stiff uper lip. What I'm trying to say is that it's ok to cry, to weep, to grieve, and to feel as lost as you do at this moment. Give yourself time." (Mother Angelica)
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Monday, February 7, 2005 8:09 PM CST

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Hi Alison, I know what you mean about February. I feel the very same way. Its 36 years since my Dad died (Feb 3rd). I had just turned 10, and I really thought my Dad was going to come back. How could a Dad leave a little girl who needed her Daddy so much? Since then I have lost a first cousin, and a nephew with cancer. One of my Dad's best friends died Feb 3rd. Last week a special little girl aged 3 1/2 died of AML, again on the dreaded Feb 3rd. It never ends. I'm so glad you have such a wonderful mother-in-law, and husband. Seems to make things easier to bear. My thoughts and prayers are always with you but especially during this horrid month.
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Monday, February 7, 2005 12:18 AM CST

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Dear Alison,
I am sorry that February eventually returns each year to haunt you "more intensely" of the sadness you have to endure each and everyday. My heart aches for each one of the families that have to endure such sorrow and loss. I am so thankful that by the time we are able to ask the Lord WHY?, we will be experiencing such great joy that all of the pain and horror of what has been endured will be washed away. Alexandria is remembered today on her half birthday and everyday for being such a precious, beautiful child of God.

In His love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, - Sunday, February 6, 2005 10:26 PM CST

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I am praying for you always. I am so sorry that this is so hard for you. I wish I could change that. I know there is absolutely nothing I can do except be your friend and pray for you--both will be true forever. I am your friend, I love you, and I am praying. Blessings in Christ.
Khalita Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Sunday, February 6, 2005 5:52 PM CST

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Reaching out to you, my friend, with a big hug. There are so many emotions... so few words. I hope you get the chance to come over and hold a couple of babies before too long; maybe that will be a happy Feb. moment for you. :) God bless
Andy's mom forever
- Saturday, February 5, 2005 7:19 PM CST

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Alison, I'm not sure from what link a came over to Alexandria's sight but I'm glad I did. I think whole heartedly you should just skip February!! (then I'll skip May)
Just wanting you to know that we hurt with you here in KY and are letting Alexandria's life and story be an inspiration for us to enjoy every moment and fight to do more.
love,hope, courage
Carol Miller
Carol Miller (Reid's page) <dmill3@insightbb.com>
Bowling Green, KY - Saturday, February 5, 2005 10:00 AM CST

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Amen Sister! PS: Did you have to wake me from this February induced fog I'm in???? And by the way, did I mention how much you mean to me lately???? No? Well, there, I said it. Here's to being able to wake up this coming Monday morning (the 7th UGH) and have my mascara stay on all day (like THAT ever happens.....sigh) Love ya, and forever missing OUR girls.
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Friday, February 4, 2005 8:38 PM CST

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Alison-

I'm right with you in skipping February!!! It aches my heart to know that we (Alexandria's Angels) take what we feel like is two steps in the right direction in helping and then link into sites like Lexy's and get hit with a blow. I was in shock the other day when I linked into sharethelove.org and went down the alphabetical list of all the children. My life changed February 2003 tremendously because of your Alexandria's amazing zest for life and unbelievable spiritual faith. Know I'm here day and night. I'm a phone call away if you need me and you are never out of my daily thoughts and prayers. I love you my dear friend.
MeMaw heaven is being flooded with extra prayers for you! You are very much loved!!!

God Bless,

Dawn Dains
Alexandria's Angels Foundation <daisydains@msn.com>
Wentzville, MO USA - Thursday, February 3, 2005 11:17 PM CST

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Hugging and hugging.....


I pray for all families of cancer.
Much love to you Allison,
Nicky H
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
- Thursday, February 3, 2005 11:17 PM CST

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Just wanted you all to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers this week. Hoping that God brings you strength and peace to make it through. Love you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, February 2, 2005 8:34 AM CST

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Your always in our thoughts and prayers.
Love LaKota and her mom Debbie.
~*~LaKota~*~

IF ROSES GREW IN HEAVEN.

If Roses grow in Heaven,
Lord please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my friend's arms
and tell her they're from me.
Tell her I love her and miss her,
and when she turns to smile,
place a kiss upon her cheek
and hold her for awhile.
Because remembering her is easy,
I do it every day,
but there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away.

~~Author Unknown.~~
http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/laplafcan <LaKotaDeb@Hotmail.com>
St.Cloud, MN - Tuesday, February 1, 2005 9:32 PM CST

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Alison,
I just checking up on your family. I am hopeful that 2005 will be all that you pray for.
Beth Kanne <bkanne@wowway.com>
Naperville, IL - Tuesday, February 1, 2005 4:32 PM CST

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Alison,
You don't know me but as I browsed this website I found peace in Alexandria's website. Your beautiful daughter is with God now and is looking down on you and your lovely family. She was such a fighter and truly an inspiration to me. This is such a wonderful webpage and a wonderful tribute to your amazing little girl. God bless you and your family.
Allie
San Francisco, CA USA - Sunday, January 30, 2005 4:55 AM CST

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Dear Alison,
Just stopping by. Looking forward to your update. Praying for you always.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, - Saturday, January 29, 2005 11:49 PM CST

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Hi Alison,

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and checking on your site regularly. I miss reading your journal entries. I know your life must be so busy these days. Thinking of you and wishing you blessings and peace!
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Friday, January 28, 2005 3:26 PM CST

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JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM PRAYING FOR YOUR FAMILY.



CARINGBRIDGE.ORG/WV/FREDAFOX
RUTH <BLUEEYED_FEMALE@MSN.COM>
HINTON, WV - Monday, January 24, 2005 5:11 PM CST

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Hey you :o) I was just doing the unthinkable- searching old stuff and I came across Alexandria's memorial quilt. I don't think I'd ever seen it before. It is so beautiful and the poem was incredible. Then of course I went over to her smilequilt and although it makes me so sad, and especially seeing how next month is the dreaded "February", seeing her quilts also made me think of how much she is loved. I'll talk to ya soon- I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and of course, our girls.........Hugs to you.
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Saturday, January 22, 2005 8:44 PM CST

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Thinking of you all today. I hope all is well with you all!

Nicky H
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
PA - Friday, January 21, 2005 10:56 PM CST

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Alison,
I miss you, Grant and all the kids so much. I really hope i get to see all of you real soon. not much has happend to me and the family since we have seen you last. so we are all doing soo well and i hope you can say the same for the family and yourself. i think about you-all all the time and i pray for you every night. god bless and hopefully make the new year a great one!!

xoxo,
d.anne <ianssocool666@yahoo.com>
wildwood, MO 63005 - Friday, January 21, 2005 3:54 PM CST

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Hello my friends. Just thinking of you and wanted to drop by and say hello! Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Hope to see you soon!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Friday, January 21, 2005 8:50 AM CST

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Dropping by to check on you. Thinking of you and your beautiful angel and sending continued prayers.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Thursday, January 20, 2005 9:52 AM CST

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I have visted your website many times but I have never signed the guestbook because I didn't know what to say. Alexandria's eyes have always captured my attention in your photos - they are beautiful. I guess that I just want to tell you that your family is in my thoughts.
Sarah
NY - Tuesday, January 18, 2005 6:23 PM CST

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Letting you know that your in our prayers and thoughts.
Sending lots of prayers your way.++++++++++++++++++
Love LaKota and her mom Debbie.
~*~LaKota~*~


http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/laplafcan <LaKotaDeb@Hotmail.com>
St.Cloud, MN - Tuesday, January 18, 2005 9:46 AM CST

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Hello Haddock clan..just have had you all on my mind and wanted to check in and say, "Hi." And once again, I am moved to tears by your journal...Although my wish is that none of you mommies would ever have to have this type of journal, thank you for your honesty and sharing.
You are right, Alison, it is unimaginable to understand the pain you feel, my heart aches for you. Please know you are lifted up all the time...you are not alone. Your sweet Alexandria will live on in our hearts forever.
God Bless you, Katy Davis
Katy Davis <kdavis@mail.win.org>
St. Peters, MO USA - Tuesday, January 18, 2005 1:20 AM CST

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Hi,
Just checking to see how you're doing.
I hope that 2005 brings blessings.
Laura
Grand Rapids, MI - Sunday, January 16, 2005 9:20 PM CST

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Wishing you safe travels, my friend! You're lucky not to be here today - I bet there's 3 inches of snow on the ground outside!! It's crazy! :)

Love you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Thursday, January 13, 2005 2:17 PM CST

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While reading the homepage I sense that you are 'beating yourself up' because you didn't take several doctors' advise and have Alexandria's BMT earlier on. You did the best you could do. Sometimes, as you well know, our prayers are not answered the way we want them to be! May you continue to draw strength from your faith and may you be able to find joy in the simple pleasures of this life. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with your family.
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Wednesday, January 12, 2005 8:52 AM CST

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Happy 2005 Haddocks! I hope this is a year of happiness and amazing family memories for you all. I just want to let you know how inspiring you both are to Aaron and I. Your faith, love for each other, humor, dedication and strength are incredible to witness. We love seeing you so often and are looking forward to some ping pong tournaments really soon! (Aaron and I sneak to the basement after the kids are asleep to practice.) Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we are better parents because of you!!! Thank you for this amazing site. Love, Jenn
Jenn Crowell <jenncrowell6@hotmail.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Monday, January 10, 2005 8:25 PM CST

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From your mouth to God's ears, my friend. :) I pray that 2005 will be a good year for all of us.

Love you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Monday, January 10, 2005 12:05 AM CST

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Alison- what an entry for 2005! thank you for reminding us of life's lessons and the effect of our own actions! may we all ponder your words and reflect. i know that 2005 will bring many blessings, and you will "see" them with your eyes of hope. i hope to see you in 2005 and help in any way.
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Sunday, January 9, 2005 5:38 PM CST

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Alison- what an entry for 2005! thank you for reminding us of life's lessons and the effect of our own actions! may we all ponder your words and reflect. i know that 2005 will bring many blessings, and you will "see" them with your eyes of hope. i hope to see you in 2005 and help in any way.
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Sunday, January 9, 2005 5:37 PM CST

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Just stopping by to let you know that I read your journal entry. God Bless your entire family.
Joyce Zulovich www.caringbridge.org/mo/jillsjourney <stjudemom@traquility.net>
Columbia, MO - Saturday, January 8, 2005 10:01 PM CST

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Thank you
Kasey Gunde <topgund@aol.com>
Mt Holly, NC US - Saturday, January 8, 2005 8:56 PM CST

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Alison,
Once again you have touched me so with your journal entry. Your words teach me so much. May 2005 be a year filled with peace and contentment as you continue on this journey called life. Blessings to you always.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
- Saturday, January 8, 2005 8:39 PM CST

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Again, as I've said so many times before, your words are so powerful. Although I've never walked in your shoes, I can feel the pain, and the hope, in your entry. I admire the strength that you and your husband find, deep down inside you. It is obviously what keeps you going, what keeps you motivated, what keeps you looking forward and working for the betterment of others. You AMAZE me.

I wish all the best for your entire family in 2005. I will be thinking of you as the month of February is peaking it's head around the corner. I can still remember how heavy my heart felt the day Alexandria passed. She was one of my first "friends" on CaringBridge, and unfortunately, one of the first to pass away. She'll never be forgotten in my heart; she captured that piece of it long ago and it will remain hers forever!! ;-)

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Saturday, January 8, 2005 4:55 PM CST

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Wishing for you a year of peace, hope and happiness.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, January 8, 2005 8:29 AM CST

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Alison,
AS always, I love to visit here.Please don't get me wrong. Your words are the most comforting words I have ever read. I have never been through what you have been through, but I am so comforted for you and your family by reading your words. Your faith in the Lord and his will and way is amazing.
You have such beautiful words. Words that touch the hearts of people who have been with you through this battle and the hearts of those who have only followed.

Alison,
You and your family are truly amazing: Angels in heaven and angels here on Earth.

Many hugs and a lot of love,
Nicky H
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
- Friday, January 7, 2005 11:20 PM CST

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Glad to read the update. Just wanting you to know that I'm here and I love you. Blessings in Christ. I'll keep checking to see how you are.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Friday, January 7, 2005 8:18 PM CST

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My thoughts are always with your family.
Anita <armoore@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Friday, January 7, 2005 2:27 PM CST

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Alison-Another great journal entry. Thanks for sharing your feelings. I hope 2005 brings you much joy.
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO 63011 - Friday, January 7, 2005 10:33 AM CST

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Hi, I just wanted to thank you for writing so eloquently about the grief that parents go through. We are just starting our grief journey (almost 4 months), but are becoming painfully aware that it's a very long journey. I can tell that Alexandria was very fortunate to have such a wonderful mommy!
Chris Guenther www.caringbridge.org/fl/cassidy <calcass@earthlink.net>
Orlando, FL - Friday, January 7, 2005 9:55 AM CST

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All I can say is Thank you.....I'll update you on our cousins wish.

Nicky H
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
three4me235@comcast.net - Wednesday, January 5, 2005 0:33 AM CST

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Alison -

We, too, have not signed this guestbook in a very long time. We've actually been having major computer problems and I'm not on long enough to check all the sites, before it turns off on me. I am so very thankful that I decided to check my "angel" folder and look at sites that I've not looked at in quite awhile. Your entry touched our hearts and brought tears to our eyes. I will have to "piggy back" on what someone else said and that is, that you have an angel in Heaven -- sweet Alexandria; and, you are an angel on earth! Keep up the good work in precious Sissy's name and honor. You are truly a blessing.

We also want you to know that even though it's been a long time since we've visited the site or signed the guestbook, you all are still in our thoughts and prayers. We will always remember your beautiful daughter --- Alexandria!

God bless you and your family.

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Tuesday, January 4, 2005 12:32 AM CST

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Happy New Year Haddocks! Hoping that 2005 is filled with happiness, love and laughter for all of you. :)

Much love and prayers...
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, January 4, 2005 8:50 AM CST

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Dear Alison,

It has been a long, long time since I signed your guest book. I see your name in many other guest books and just wanted to say "hello" again.

I know you miss Alexandria so very much but I see you are sharing your family's faith in Jesus Christ. Sharing light in what I'm sure you know is a world darkening.

God bless you so very, very much.

Love,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabrielle, and Noah
Monica Paquetet <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Monday, January 3, 2005 9:46 AM CST

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Alison,
I clicked over on your site before signing off, hoping it would not bring me more tears, but wanting to see how things were going. Your words are so comforting to all who have lost someone dear. Sometimes I think when tragedy hits we get so involved in the stress of coping and getting so fatigued from the sadness that we may fall asleep without saying all that is in our hearts in prayer or forget to really thank God for what he has given us and what he has in store for us in heaven. Sometimes we get too caught up in everything around us to realize exactly what you said; the whole reason we are here and what lies ahead; eternity with Jesus. Thank you for opening my eyes again and pulling me from this sorrow I am in; it really means alot. Dawn called today to send both your condolences. Thank you so much, you guys are really angels yourselves here on earth. I know Alexandria is SO proud. Happy New Year!
Lee Ann (Kristan's mommy) <dlblank@showme.net>
- Friday, December 31, 2004 11:22 PM CST

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Alison...Thank you for sharing that beautiful update. You are one special person!

Sending love and continued prayers of peace...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Friday, December 31, 2004 8:57 PM CST

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Alison,
All I can say is you are truly and genuinely a beautiful person. I have followed you for about 2 years now and your beautiful updates always bring me to tears. Alexandria is an angel in heaven and you are an angel on Earth. I know the money you have raised will go to help so many children and families. WE now have a young cousin with Leukemia, and I can only hope and pray that he will do well.

My prayers are with you at this difficult time.

Sincerely,
Nicky H
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
- Wednesday, December 29, 2004 11:14 PM CST

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Dearest Alison,

Sending a ton of prayers your way and wishes for peace and hope. I just stopped by to wish you a Happy New Year and one filled with countless blessings and miracles to prove God is near.
Love and hugs Judy


Judy Crawford <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, December 29, 2004 1:24 PM CST

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Alison - as usual, I am moved beyond words by what you wrote. On Friday, I went to see my Godson sing at his church at their Christmas eve service....there were so many things that happened there that made me believe that Kailie, Alexandria, and all the other beautiful angels that have gone to Heaven, were right there among us. It made me sad, but also brought me comfort.

I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas, and I hope that 2005 brings us all much love, joy and happiness.

Give my love to Grant and the kids. Love you all.
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Monday, December 27, 2004 1:32 PM CST

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God bless you and your family Alison. We still continue to check in on you often. The girls love to look at Alexandria's picture. While I cannot fathom being in your position, it is overwhelming to read your stories and listen to you get stronger with each passing entry.
May you have a wonderful Christmas season and a joyous New Year!
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Monday, December 27, 2004 9:32 AM CST

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Alison,
You are an amazing person. I am always moved when I come here to read about your family. Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year to you all.
Nicky H
DEar friend to Carter
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
- Sunday, December 26, 2004 10:28 PM CST

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Alison,
Thank you for sharing these beautiful words. You are an amazing young woman.
Deloyce <dbarrington3@cox.net>
Virginia Beach, VA USA - Sunday, December 26, 2004 5:11 PM CST

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MY SWEET ALEXANDRIA, I MISSED SEEING YOU YESTERDAY BUT I KNOW YOU WERE WITH US. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR FAMILY WITH US FOR CHRISTMAS. WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, MEMAW AND PAWPAW
NOEL <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
BONNE TERRE, MO 63628 - Sunday, December 26, 2004 2:14 PM CST

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What a blessing and gift you have given us Alison. Thank you for sharing your Christmas season with us. Not only monetarily with Alexandria's Angels foundtion, but what the true meaning of Chritmas is all about. HOPE, FAITH, GIVING, LOVING, BLESSING, all these are the gifts of CHRISTmas. Thank you Alison, for another valuable lesson you give us this Christmas season.
I hope you and your family have a very happy and healthy New Year.
Love & many blessings, Lynn
Lynn <limbesi@optonline.net>
Long Island, NY USA - Sunday, December 26, 2004 8:20 AM CST

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I'm glad you had a peaceful Christmas yesterday.
Grace and Peace,

Kristy
Ballwin, MO 63011 - Sunday, December 26, 2004 8:03 AM CST

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alison and family- Merry Christmas, my friend! Thinking of you and your family and remembering Alexandria! Her beauty shines through you! Have a blessed day on this holy night!
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Saturday, December 25, 2004 2:21 PM CST

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Grant, Alison and Kiddos,

Merry and Blessed Christmas dear friends. As a new year is fastly approaching, I am left reflecting on all of the tears, joy and laughter we have shared over the past couple of years. More than ever I can not imagine what my faith or my life would be like without having had Alexandria's touch and your friendships. Know we are holding you close in our hearts and prayers knowing how hard the holidays are for you missing sweet sissy. On another note: Mr. Darryl has a message for Mr. Grant, Santa brought the kids a ping pong table for Christmas......let the practice begin!!!! Are you ready for some pong?????

Love you guys.


Dawn and Darryl Dains <daisydains@msn.com>
Git'er done, MO USA - Saturday, December 25, 2004 11:00 AM CST

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Alison and Grant: May you and yours share a special and blessed Christmas.
Peggy S.
- Friday, December 24, 2004 11:18 PM CST

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My grand daughter is in remission, she is now 10years of age,she was three when the Dr. gave us the word of her white blood cell count.
We were devistated and fear for a while ruled our lives, then the peace of the Lord took hold.We had to trust Him for the plan that he had for Taras life.
She suffered so much, just a baby yet she went through all the spinals chemo. etc much braver than I could have ever been.
Her greatest concern was the beautiful long dark hair that she once had.She would run her fingers throug my daughters hair and was wishful that she still had long hair. My daughter Debbie had her own hair cut short so that perhaps it would releive Tara of wanting her own long hair again.
We finnaly after two years plus months, got the news that Tara was in remission,Praise the Lord!
Tara seems to be doing well, but we still live with the thought of that possibly a hidden cell could emerge.
We know that God has a plan for her life as he does with all of us, but my heart goes out to the family of the little girl lost from this earth, but who has pink angel wings in Heaven.
My prayers are with the family on this Christmas Eve.
Pat Kennamer <plk@nts-online.net>
LUBBOCK, Texas Lubbock - Friday, December 24, 2004 9:18 PM CST

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My grand daughter is in remission, she is now 10years of age,she was three when the Dr. gave us the word of her white blood cell count.

We were devistated. Fear for a while ruled our lives, then the peace of the Lord took hold.We had to trust Him for the plan that he had for Taras life. We would have to accept whatever his plan was.

She suffered so much, just a baby yet she went through all the spinals chemo. etc much braver than I could have ever been.

Her greatest concern was the beautiful long dark hair that she once had. She would run her fingers through my daughters hair and was wishful that she still had long hair. My daughter Debbie had her own hair cut short so that perhaps it would releive Tara of wanting her own long hair again.


After two years plus months,we received the news that Tara was in remission,Praise the Lord!

Tara now lets her hair grow long, and then has it cut short to donate her hair to a place where they make hair pieces for the children who have lost their hair due to the cemo. treatments.

Tara is doing well,she continues to excell in her ballet and Jazz dance team.We thank God that he allowed us to keep her here with us.

We do not dwell on it but still live with the thought that possibly a hidden cell could emerge later.

We still know that God has a plan for Taras life as he does with all of us.

My heart goes out to the family of the little girl lost from this earth, but who has Beautiful Pink angel wings in Heaven.I know that she is celebrating our Lords Birthday with the most Glorious smile that He has ever seen.

My prayers and thoughts are with her family on this Christmas Eve 2004.

Pat Kennamer <plk@nts-online.net>
LUBBOCK, Texas Lubbock - Friday, December 24, 2004 9:14 PM CST

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Prayers and love for the Holidays
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy) <dlblank@showme.net>
- Friday, December 24, 2004 8:59 PM CST

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A PRAYER FOR CHRISTMAS


God Give Us eyes this Christmas
To see the Christmas Star.
And give us ears to hear the song
of angels from afar

And, with our eyes and ears attuned
for a message from above,
Let "Christmas Angels" speak to us
of hope and faith and love

Hope to light our pathway
When the way ahead is dark,
Hope to sing through stormy days,
with the sweetness of the lark

Faith to trust in things unseen
and know beyond all seeing
That it is in our Fathers love
We live and have our being

And love to break down barriers
of color, race and creed,
Love to see and understand
and help all those in need.

Lord, bless those we love this Christmas Day,be they near or far away Bless those good friends who mean so much and those with whom we're out of touch. We bring them all to You in prayer, and ask You to keep them in Your care.

Please know that you are thought of, in a very special way, not just this beautiful season but every day.
Chris Ullrich - Bella's Grammy <c_ullrich@msn.com, caringbridge.com/page/isabellaledesma>
- Friday, December 24, 2004 8:17 PM CST

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"Merry Christmas from Heaven"

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
with tiny lights like heaven's stars reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular please wipe away that tear
for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you of the joy their voices bring
for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart for I am spending C! hristmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I can't tell you of the splendor or the peace here in this place Can you just imagine Christmas with our Savior face to face?

I'll ask him to lift your spirit as I tell him of your love
so then pray for one another as you lift your eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful and let your spirit sing
for I am spending Christmas in heaven and I'm walking with the King.




Anita <armoore@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Thursday, December 23, 2004 9:53 PM CST

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Merry Christmas & A Very Happy New Year to the Haddock Family
Lynn
Long Island, NY - Thursday, December 23, 2004 12:39 AM CST

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Thinking of you this Christmas,

Love

Viks



viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Thursday, December 23, 2004 11:18 AM CST

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Sending you Christmas wishes as we approach another Christmas without our Angels..... Talk to you soon my friend.
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Thursday, December 23, 2004 10:16 AM CST

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Hello Haddocks - Wishing you all a joyous and blessed Christmas.....
Kathleen Maas-Stokes <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Thursday, December 23, 2004 7:23 AM CST

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Hello Haddock family~ We just wanted to send a note to let you know we will be thinking and praying for all of you this Christmas, we pray that 2005 will be filled with many blessings for your sweet family~ Love and God bless!!Shannon,Chuck, Phillip and Peyton Ray
The Ray Family <sraynstlx4@hotmail.com>
St Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 9:10 PM CST

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You & your family both here & in Heaven are in my thoughts & prayers. Your Angel is shining bright. Please have a blessed holiday.

e.spratt <etspratt@charter.net>
Eureka, MO - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 7:48 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks - just wanted to stop by and wish you all a very blessed and merry Christmas. My thoughts and prayers will be with you all! Love to you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 9:14 AM CST

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Happy Holidays, Haddock family! I hope that everyone in your household is feeling much better by now. Being sick at Christmastime is not fun. I am one of those who has not signed your guestbook in quite some time, but today is different. I was a faithful follower of Alexandria during her couragous fight. She was so beautiful and braved - and she touched so many lives, mine included. Thank you for sharing her story. May God bless your family during this holiday season, and forever.
With love,
Haley Hastings <haleyhastings@yahoo.com>
St. Simons Island, GA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 11:49 PM CST

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Thank you for making our season bright, and warm. Merry Christmas, Alexandria's Angels! www.caringbridge.org/mo/kennyshiels
Sue Shiels <Suzhomaker@aol.com>
Fenton, MO USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 2:13 PM CST

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Your story is an inspiration. Have a blessed Holiday.
Mendi (friends of Allie) <mendip@comcast.net>
murfreesboro, tn USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 11:16 PM CST

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I'm guessing 300,000 by February will happen with no problem. Thoughts & prayers are being sent your way this holiday season.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 3:21 PM CST

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My wish to you & yours this Christmas season is to have one filled with love & happiness. May the peace of the season fill your hearts. Best wishes for a prosperous, healthy new year!
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Monday, December 20, 2004 9:30 AM CST

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alison- you amaze me with all that you do and the steps forward that you continue to take. you are amazing and shine so brightly for others. how can we not stop and take note and readjust our views from yours? thank you for letting the hope shine through. may this week bring love and peace for you and your family even as you miss your baby girl. we continue to think of alexandria and remember with a smile!!!
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Monday, December 20, 2004 8:33 AM CST

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Wishing you all a holiday filled with loving memories of Alexandria, joy and peace but most of all hope in reunion that awaits us all in Heaven.

May God bless you.
Love and hugs
Judy


Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, December 18, 2004 8:40 AM CST

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Hi Haddocks - just wanted to stop by and say hello and let you all know that I'm thinking about you. Wishing many blessings for you this Holiday season. Love you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Louis, - Friday, December 17, 2004 8:55 AM CST

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Wishing your family a very Merry Christmas & all the blessings of the season.
Kathy Adelson Laucius <klaucius@sbcglobal.net>
Houston, - Thursday, December 16, 2004 8:13 PM CST

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She is not forgotten.
Bellanca
Mpls, mn - Thursday, December 16, 2004 4:34 PM CST

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I'm sure you know you're in my thoughts and prayers but I wanted to tell you anyways. Merry Christmas. I know it is hard without Alexandria no matter what, but I pray that you will be able to enjoy the time with the family and friends you have on this earth until we all have our huge reunion in heaven. Blessings in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Thursday, December 16, 2004 3:57 PM CST

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I receiced such a blessing just reading about your precious little girl. I am so sorry for your pain. I will pray that you have a wonderful CHRISTmas and a great new year. May God bless you and yours over and over again.
Pam <rharper@texhoma.net>
Duncan, Ok - Thursday, December 16, 2004 1:14 PM CST

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Hello Haddock Family,
I am new here, got the link from Connor Hunley's site. Your daughter is quite a beauty. We will be thinking of you during the holidays and will send up special prayers for your sweet angel. Thank you for sharing your Alexandria with us, we are humbled.

Love,
The McCarthy 6 (Mike, Joy, Allie, Adam, Dylan, & Connor)

*~*~**~**~*~~~**~*~~*~*Friends of Allie*~*********~*~***~*

Joy <joymcarthy@aol.com>
San Jose, CA USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 12:04 AM CST

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Just wanted to let all of you know that we are thinking about you and praying for you. I am sure this time of year doesn't get any easier. You guys are very important to us! Give each other hugs!

Love you all,
John & Johnelle Rhines caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 5:29 PM CST

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I still check in to see how you are doing and wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Thank you for sharing such a painful part of your life, to make a statement of great faith for so many. You are awesome and may God Bless you in the year ahead.
Paula <manko@charter.net>
- Tuesday, December 14, 2004 11:16 PM CST

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Your beautiful little girl has touched so many lives. I do check in often. Just wanted to let you know that someone in NJ is thinking about you.
Tina
- Sunday, December 12, 2004 9:01 PM CST

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I love you and am praying for you through this Holiday season. Blessings in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Sunday, December 12, 2004 8:24 PM CST

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Alison,
It does not surprise me that so many still come to Alexandria's site. Her site and her mother's updates are both beautiful and inspiring. As long as this site exist, I will continue to check on the Haddock family. May you be blessed greatly during this season of the first coming of our Lord. Praying for you always.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, - Sunday, December 12, 2004 4:44 PM CST

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Yes, I'm one of those who check in now and then too because you're always in my thoughts and prayers. Alexandria has, and continues to touch many lives.
Cathy Yanez <gethsemanem1435@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Sunday, December 12, 2004 1:50 AM CST

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Continue to check on you because Alexandria and your family have touched my heart.
Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, Al - Thursday, December 9, 2004 4:01 PM CST

---

she is a angel so beautiful, i too have angels in heaven a brother who died of leukeimue in 1958 at 3yrsold and a grandson who died of scid no immunesystem,bubble baby at 11 mos old 'it is hard to lose our loved ones but angels like these had only just begin,keep you in my prayers always Sheena Scott
Sheena Ann Angell Scott <schakita12@bellsouth.net>
Cynthiana, Ky USA - Thursday, December 9, 2004 3:42 PM CST

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she is a angel so beautiful, i too have angels in heaven a brother who died of leukeimue in 1958 at 3yrsold and a grandson who died of scid no immunesystem,bubble baby at 11 mos old 'it is hard to lose our loved ones but angels like these had only just begin,keep you in my prayers always Sheena Scott
Sheena Ann Angell Scott <schakita12@bellsouth.net>
Cynthiana, Ky USA - Thursday, December 9, 2004 3:42 PM CST

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Alison, people keep checking because they're like me and they love you :) Praying for ya. HUGS!
Khalita My Caringbridge Site <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Wednesday, December 8, 2004 10:40 PM CST

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I just learned of your beautiful girl tonite. How blessed you were to have her for the time you did. May you and yours have a wonderful holiday season! (((((HUGS))))

Lisa <loumicsmom@comcast.net>
Dallas, TX USA - Wednesday, December 8, 2004 9:16 PM CST

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Hi!
I'm new here and I wanted to say hi! Wow... your website is really a tribute to how much Alexandria touched the lives of others. *smile*


~Joanne’s Corner~

Care Mail!


Joanne <joanne_173@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, December 8, 2004 8:59 AM CST

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Hi Haddocks. No email address yet, but I do have internet access! :) So, wanted to drop by and say hello and tell you all I'm thinking of you.

Alison, hope we can get together for lunch soon! I'll call you as soon as I get settled in! Love you all!
Kelly <kethington@bhgh.org>
St. Loui, - Tuesday, December 7, 2004 10:37 AM CST

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hI I WAS JUST CHECKING THE WEBSITE I GOT IT OFF OF ANGEL CONNERS WEBSITE...I READ YOUR POST ABOUT PEOPLE STILL VISITING... SHE MUST HAVE TOUCHED A LOT OF LIVES...GOD BLESS!
CASSIE <JCRFLEMISTER@AOL.COM>
- Tuesday, December 7, 2004 9:14 AM CST

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Hey Alison and Grant, not a day goes by that I don't think of you guys and Alexandria. We keep you in our prayers and continue to learn and grow from your "lessons in life". Have a wonderful Holiday Season with those sweet kiddos. All our love.
The Schwartzs
Jimmy, Lisa, Lincoln, Lindley and Wyatt
Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@centurytel.net>
- Tuesday, December 7, 2004 6:50 AM CST

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Hi, Haddock family. Although I do not get to stop by often, I do think of you, and always love to look into those beautiful eyes of Angel Alexandria. It warmed my heart, to read the entry on the home page. I will never forget the day I read that Alexandria had moved on to Heaven. She was one of the first CaringBridge "friends" that I adopted, and it completely broke my heart when I learned of her passing. Another little friend, Meghan Mack, had also passed away and BOY was that hard, to have both of these children, that I felt so close to via cyberspace, pass away. I trust that they are great friends up in Heaven, just as you and Carol have become.

I hope your family is able to enjoy this holiday season, as best as you can.

Sincerely,

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Monday, December 6, 2004 8:18 PM CST

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Dear Alison,
Stopping by to say hello and to let you know that I have not forgotten your dear family nor you precious Alexandria. I wanted you to know that I will be praying for you during the holidays. I know they are so difficult for people that have had such a tremendous loss as yours. God bless always.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, - Monday, December 6, 2004 8:33 AM CST

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I still check in several times a week. Thank you for sharing your story. What a blessing you are to others.
Tammy <tsh61197@bellsouth.net>
Roswell, GA - Sunday, December 5, 2004 10:03 PM CST

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Hey girlfriend....... slide some of that Lysol over this way; we're infested with cold germs. I've been down and out for a few days now, but should bounce back in a day or two. HAVE too; may be jumping on a plane soon. No, no news yet. Waiting for the phone to ring. Up until now, I've had a tall wall around my emotions, but it's beginning to crumble. At least it gives me something to think about other than Christmas & the pending two year 'anniversary.' Hope we can get together some time soon... want you to meet our new children! ;) God bless. Have a good week.
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Sunday, December 5, 2004 9:01 PM CST

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Alex and my oldest share the exact birthday

Thank you for sharing her with us via thi web page.

xoxo
laurie
www.kolbeywaynebancroft.com
laurie <lauriebancroft@sbcglobal.net>
el dorado, ks USA - Sunday, December 5, 2004 4:24 PM CST

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Just wanted to let you know that I still check everyday. Your writtings help me not to feel so crazy. All the feelings that I am feeling are normal for a Mom that has lost a child. God bless you and try to enjoy the holidays.
Ruth Trombino <ARTrombino@msn.com>
westerly, ri - Saturday, December 4, 2004 10:14 PM CST

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I am one of your daily visitors.
I know what you mean about being stuck in a holding pattern....
This time of year is hard. Thanksgiving/Christmas to me has always been about love and family. It's so hard when one is missing from the picture.... Thinking of you and of Alexandria.
Karin, Anna's Mom Forever <Olssonka@yahoo.com>
Fenton, MO - Friday, December 3, 2004 9:33 PM CST

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Alison I check your sight everyday an just hadn't signed in. I love looking at the Alexandrias pictures, I'm sure she is even more beautiful up in heaven.

Unfortunatly I think all us know or have a love one who has had to face cancer. My mom died sep. 11 of this year of leukemia AML and it just stinks I miss her so bad, and it truly saddens me that my little girl (3years old) maybe not rememeber her when she gets older.

God bless you
www.caringbridge.org/ca/nikicamarena
sally <sally_torres@lusknet.com>
anaheim, ca - Friday, December 3, 2004 3:59 PM CST

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Alison, I forgot to share one thing with you, it's 26 years ago today that I lost my dad due to a fatal car accident and there isn't a day that goes by that he isn't in my thoughts. Oh how I miss him terribly, but knowing that we will meet again someday, brings me comfort and the strength to go on, live my life to the fullest. Thanks for letting me share!
Lynn
Long Island, NY - Friday, December 3, 2004 3:33 PM CST

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Oh Alison, you have such a humble heart. I come to this website every day to see if there's been an update or any changes. And when there is, my eyes are glued to every word you write, knowing there's a special message, a word of wisdom, and comforting thoughts for us. And it's your humble heart that makes you who you are, who you have become through this experience. God works miracles through humble hearts and may he continue to bring you healing, love and blessings in your life. Thank you again for updating. You are so right, there are so many people out there who do care about you and your family. Family, friends, strangers, acquaintances, and anynoe who has been touched by your story, we're all here to support you, love you and be with you always..........
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Friday, December 3, 2004 3:30 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks! Please know that I continue to check Alexandria's site daily...Thank you for continuing to share your story with me!! God Bless your family during this holiday season and always.
Laura Foster <laura.foster@mnsu.edu>
Mankato, MN - Friday, December 3, 2004 2:07 PM CST

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Keeping you and your family close to my heart. I think of you often and pray for you always. Through Alexandria and your journal entries, my life has been enriched and I will forever be grateful to the Haddock family for allowing me to "know" your precious daughter and amazing family.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Friday, December 3, 2004 10:36 AM CST

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Ok- count me in as one of those who check your site several times a day (mostly just to see those beautiful blue eyes, and that perfect, perfect face). Sorry to hear you all are under the weather. Hope to talk to you soon. Sending you hugs this season.
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Friday, December 3, 2004 9:07 AM CST

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Hello Haddocks! I hope things slow down for you all, but I know it might not be possible with everything you have going on. I wish you a peaceful Christmas!
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Thursday, December 2, 2004 12:07 AM CST

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Love and Prayers from the Quilts of Love Angels


Carolyn <carolyn@quiltsoflove.com>
Oklahoma - Monday, November 29, 2004 10:58 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks - hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Tomorrow is my last day at Friends...such a scary, but exciting time! Look forward to seeing you all soon. Much love and prayers...
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, November 29, 2004 3:35 PM CST

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Hope all had a peacful Thanksgiving.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Sunday, November 28, 2004 2:01 PM CST

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Alison-

On this day of giving thanks I thank our Lord above countless times for the day he brought us together as friends. Thank you for always caring, supporting and being there. Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Alexandria-
Happy Thanksgiving sweet angel. You and Kailie still hold a big part of my heart. Love you and always will.

God Bless,

Dawn Dains
Alexandria's Angels Foundation <daisydains@msn.com>
Wenzville, MO USA - Thursday, November 25, 2004 10:55 PM CST

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Thanks for a wonderful thanksgiving message. I hope your day is filled with the love of your family!
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Thursday, November 25, 2004 9:53 AM CST

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I hope your Thanksgiving Day is showered
with unexpected blessings!

Cheryl <pray_4kids@yahoo.com>
Georgia - Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:40 AM CST

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Hi Haddocks - just wanted to drop by and wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving! I'll be thinking of you and thanking God for your friendship. Love to you all...
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, November 24, 2004 7:46 AM CST

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Alison-You continue to amaze me. May god give you strength and bless you and your family this holiday season. Please know you all remain in our thoughts and prayers.
Kelli Giles Lanza <klanza@fuse.net>
Cincinnati, OH - Wednesday, November 24, 2004 0:30 AM CST

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Just to let you know that I'm thinking about you--especially during this time of year.
Grace and Pece,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Sunday, November 21, 2004 8:49 AM CST

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Just stopping by after a very long time away from your website. Wanted you to know that I still think of you, even w/o stopping by like I was once able.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Friday, November 19, 2004 6:46 PM CST

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Alison,
It was so great seeing you this weekend. So many laughs and so much great food!! I think about you all the time and keep you and your family close to my heart.
Lots of love,
Tracey
P.S. Sorry that Mike stayed in your house until 3:00 am
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
Wrentham, MA - Friday, November 19, 2004 7:16 AM CST

---

Alison, thanks so much for your update. As always, it's filled with love, wisdom, inspiration, guidance, etc...
I couldn't agree with you more, God does not promise us a perfect life, free from pain and suffering. But it's what we do with that pain and suffering that makes a world of difference. Your life has surely shown all of us what pain and suffering can do, but you've also shown us how to use that pain and suffering to help others. What a blessing you are to many!
I wish you and your family a very happy Thanksgiving. And I say a prayer for your precious angel Alexandria. May she continue to shed light and love on all of you.
God bless,

Lynn <limbesi@optonline.net>
Long Island, NY USA - Thursday, November 18, 2004 7:47 PM CST

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Alison,

I want you to know that you are one of the strongest people I know. I think God gives us the grace and strength to do what He wants us to do. You have been a great source of strength and encouragement to me.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

You have lived out these verses to me. You have taken your circumstances that God allowed you to go through and have used it to minister to others, including me. That's so cool! I am very thankful for you, Grant, and your kids. You are a very important part of our lives. Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us!

Love,
Johnelle

Johnelle Rhines www.caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, November 18, 2004 10:18 AM CST

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I don't get to sign in as often as i would like. But, I want you to know that I care for you deeply and you and your family are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I will continue to check on you as I can. But, know that you are not forgotten and are very loved. Blessings in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Wednesday, November 17, 2004 8:32 PM CST

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Dear Alison,

Just to let you know you are in my heart and prayers.
Love and hugs
Judy



Judy Crawford <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, November 16, 2004 9:33 AM CST

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Just wanted to say hello. :o)
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Friday, November 12, 2004 3:30 PM CST

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Dear Alison, Just thinking of you today. I wanted to send some loving thoughts your way. Peace & many blessings.

Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Friday, November 12, 2004 1:46 PM CST

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Hello Haddocks. Was thinking about you all and just wanted to stop by and say hello. Hope you have a great weekend! Look forward to seeing you soon!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, November 12, 2004 11:47 AM CST

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Alison,
I was so happy to hear about the successful golf tournament. It's people like you that make such a difference! You give so many people the strength to keep trying. Thanks for everything you have done. I will continue to pray for you and your wonderful family!
Connie Gericke <Winninglineup1@cs.com>
O Fallon, MO - Wednesday, November 10, 2004 3:29 PM CST

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Alison, I am so happy that the golf tournament turned out so well. It always takes lots of bees to help make the honey! The picture of Alexandria is beautiful. I think of her and your family often. You always inspire me.
Jane Sheats <djarsheats@sbcglobal.net>
Springboro, OH - Tuesday, November 9, 2004 5:21 PM CST

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Glad to hear that the golf tournament was such a success!
Also, glad to hear you are doing okay. Alexandria would be proud of her family and friends!!
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Friday, November 5, 2004 11:59 AM CST

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Hi Alison - it was so good to see you yesterday. I'm really glad that you were able to come to the show. :) Next time you're in Webster, call me so we can do lunch! Love you!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, November 5, 2004 9:39 AM CST

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Alison, thanks so much for your update. As always, they're filled with love and inspiration. So glad to hear that the golf tournament fund raiser was again a huge success. May God continue to fill your life with many blessings.
Love & Peace
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Wednesday, November 3, 2004 2:07 PM CST

---

please know that you are very much in my thoughts and prayers. I miss communicating with you on a regular basis, but I want you to know that out of touch does not mean out of heart and mind. I love you guys. I'll try to get by more often. Blessings in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, November 1, 2004 10:19 PM CST

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I was so happy to see another update when I checked in this morning! We've been on vacation for a week so I wasn't able to stop by. I'm pleased the tournament went so well. You are a remarkable family.
Grace and Peace,

Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Monday, November 1, 2004 9:55 AM CST

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Morning Haddocks. Hope all is well with you. Looking forward to seeing you, Alison, later this week! Much love and prayers...
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, November 1, 2004 7:58 AM CST

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Thinking of you, this halloween

With love, Everyone at Post Pals
viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Saturday, October 30, 2004 10:15 AM CDT

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what a beautiful little girl. I hold you in my thoughts, Laura
.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Thursday, October 28, 2004 4:42 PM CDT

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Alison,
I have never before seen a picture of you. You are so beautiful. I see sooooo much of Alexandria in you. What you have done in fundraisers and cancer research is amazing!!!

As always, I find so much strength from your posts. You and your family are truly amazing.

As always,
thoughts and prayers be with you,
Nicky H,

Please visit Carter's website @ http://www3.caringbridge.org/pa/carterfinger/
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
- Wednesday, October 27, 2004 11:05 PM CDT

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You are loved and prayed for. I really want to meet sometime. I know you're sooooo busy. I understand. I'm very busy as well. But, if you ever get a notion to come this way or you're itching for a visitor to MO, let me know. I would love to have a chance to just sit down and share. Please know that I'm praying for you continually. I won't stop. Your family is so special to me for many reasons, but one is the fact that you were the first to sign my caringbridge guestbook. It meant the world to me just as your friendship means the world to me. Blessings and love in Christ. HUGS!

P.S. I'll try not to take so long to sign in again. :)
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Wednesday, October 27, 2004 9:44 PM CDT

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Loved your update "finally" :o) I had to come by and tell you that I was just listening to the radio at work and they were running a commercial for the Annual Food & Wine Bash they have at Epcot at Disney World. The last sentence the announcer said was come "Savor the Flavor" I just had to smile and thank Alexandria for letting me know she was sitting on my shoulder today :o) Hugs to you guys.
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Tuesday, October 26, 2004 9:58 AM CDT

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Haven't talked to you in awhile- hope the new job is still going well! I'm swamped with a big trial coming up next week so I keep meaning to call you on my way home (I promise I will). Hope the kids are doing fine. Tell Grant hello for me. Miss ya :o)
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Monday, October 25, 2004 6:52 PM CDT

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Alison, just wanted to let you know how much your updates are missed! Have been thinking about you and sending loving thoughts your way..........
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Saturday, October 23, 2004 1:01 PM CDT

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Just been thinking about all of you so much lately and hoping that you are doing well. You remain in my prayers.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Friday, October 22, 2004 10:35 PM CDT

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I was just stopping by to send my prayers your way. I hope all is well.
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Thursday, October 21, 2004 4:32 PM CDT

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Just stopping by to say a prayer for all of the Haddock's. Hope all is going well.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, October 20, 2004 0:14 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Tuesday, October 19, 2004 9:19 PM CDT

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thinking of you and praying that all is well. i miss your updates. praying for peace and joy in your heart!
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Tuesday, October 19, 2004 4:39 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks - thinking of you this morning and praying that all is well.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, October 19, 2004 9:13 AM CDT

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Hello there my friend! Just wanted to let you know I was checking on you & to say hi. Hope you can make lunch with us, in a few weeks. Have a good week.
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) <jagl@htc.net>
- Sunday, October 17, 2004 4:27 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,
It's heartbreaking to hear that another child has cancer, but even more to hear that it's in the same family of someone already being treated for it. Lisa and her family are in my prayers as your family are also.
Kathy H.
Thousand Oaks, CA - Friday, October 15, 2004 9:01 PM CDT

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Hope that the golf tournament went well and that you are were able to accomplish what you had wanted. I'm so sorry to hear that your friends, the Ballard's, have another son diagnosed with cancer. My thoughts and prayers remain with you and your family. Hope that the long time between updates means nothing more than you are a busy, busy woman keeping your family and business running along smoothly.
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Friday, October 15, 2004 8:55 AM CDT

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Hi Alison,
Just stopping by and saying prayers for you and your family. Hope you are enjoying the beautiful fall weather, that is, when it isn't raining. God bless always.

Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, October 13, 2004 5:23 PM CDT

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Missed you all on Saturday! :) Hope you all had a nice weekend. Talked to Dawn on Saturday about all of us getting together for lunch sometime soon - miss seeing you!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, October 11, 2004 8:40 AM CDT

---

Koala Bear Hugs
Australia - Sunday, October 10, 2004 7:05 AM CDT

---

Just a short hello from me,



Viks
viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Sunday, October 10, 2004 5:58 AM CDT

---

Hey there alison its like 10:30 at night and my friend nicole wanted to c alexandria b4 we went to bed!! just figured id sign the guestbook one more time!


heres a word from nicole:
hi i dont rele know you but alexandria is adorable and danne always says good things about her..may she rest in peace!

LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU AND THE KIDS!!

danne -n- nicole!
danne and nicole <angelgirl5@earthlink.net>
- Friday, October 8, 2004 10:35 PM CDT

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Alison,
How are you? i hope your doing great! im just here to print out a picture of Alexandria for my locker at school!

Lots of Love..and keep beliving!

LoVe always and forever
D.Anne
D.Anne <angelgirl5@earthlink.net>
- Friday, October 8, 2004 5:12 PM CDT

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Alison & Grant,

The golf tournament was such a great success! Alexandria is very proud, we are sure. You are continuing the legacy that she left here...what a wonderful way to honor the memory of your sweet girl. Thank you so much for letting us be a part of it. We missed seeing our girl there, but we wouldn't have missed it.

We love you guys!
John & Johnelle Rhines caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie <kares4kailie@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, October 6, 2004 10:26 AM CDT

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I thought of you yesterday and was happy to read on Kailie's site that the tournament was a huge success. I still pray for all of you even though it has been a while since I have signed the guest book.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
- Tuesday, October 5, 2004 11:50 PM CDT

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Hi Alison and Grant,
The tournament was wonderful! You have such great volunteers and they outdid themselves again this year. I hope everyone had as much fun as I did. You, and your foundation, are an inspiration to many and a salvation to many more families struggling with the financial aspects of fighting cancer. God has a special place in his heart for you and all of your tireless volunteers.
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@att.net>
Wildwood, MO USA - Tuesday, October 5, 2004 1:49 PM CDT

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I sure today was a huge success. I have been thinking of you all today and wish we were there.
Miss you and will talk to you soon
Tracey
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
Wrentham, MA - Monday, October 4, 2004 3:47 PM CDT

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Alison, I hope you are having a beautiful day today. We're all thinking of you. Sending loving thoughts your way.
Lynn <limbesi@optonline.net>
Long Island, NY - Monday, October 4, 2004 9:19 AM CDT

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Well, today's the big day! I know all of your hard work and determination will pay off and Alexandrias Angels Foundation will raise alot of money today to help other families in need. Thinking about you today....wish I could be there :o)
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Monday, October 4, 2004 8:07 AM CDT

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Sending hugs to you as you honor your daughter, your sunshine, your beautiful Angel Alexandria on Monday. May your tournament raise tons of money for such a worthy cause. You are an inspiration to us all and we're all better for having known about Alexandria (and you too :o)
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Friday, October 1, 2004 7:34 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks. Just wanted to drop by and wish you all a great weekend and a BEAUTIFUL day for your tournament on Monday. God bless you all!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, October 1, 2004 3:11 PM CDT

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I am so very grateful that you continue this website. On those days when I feel like I can't possibly find an ounce of inspiration left in me, I come to your website and find myself 'refreshed'. You have such a gift Alison. You have touched so many with Alexandria's story. I am so thankful that I have been given the opportunity to know you and your family.

Much love to you all...
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, September 29, 2004 12:27 AM CDT

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Oh, to see the world through a child's eyes!! Alison, THANK YOU VERY MUCH for all the reminders to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Too often, we do not appreciate what we have until we no longer have it. Have a great day!
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, ON Canada - Wednesday, September 29, 2004 10:17 AM CDT

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I must admit to dropping in some evenings just to see Alexandria's smile before getting back to work. Thank you for all you choose to share with us, most particularly our special angel.
Peggy S.
- Monday, September 27, 2004 10:21 PM CDT

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Life is good... people who love you, people who take care of you, cheetohs and chocolate milk! It really is that simple! Just another reminder that we must be like children. I know that I do a good job of complicating my life by adding many more things to the list! Thanks for the reminder! Just to love and be loved! And enjoy the simple pleasures of cheetohs and chocolate milk! Thanks for starting my Sunday with those thoughts in mind!
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Sunday, September 26, 2004 10:40 AM CDT

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God bless you, Alison!
You are a true inspiration to us all. I can not imagine if this world had lots and lots more Alison Haddocks.
You could have shut yourself out of society, you could have changed your number, burried yourself in sorrow, never smiled again, or never tried again. You did not, and so many people will appreciate this. This is what you do, you try. And together with many more people; there are those who are receiving your help.
It really shows how one person can make a difference. I believe it is due to Alexandria and her strength. You have that personal angel looking over you at all times.
The one thing that helps me is that as hard as it is, I feel like the purpose(to me) is to long for heaven. Would we all have this strong desire had we not had ones go before us? For some reason, that somehow helps me at my lowest low. But you are so right, I could not begin to imagine. It is so aweful to have one go through such a tragedy then to have to worry about your other children, is almost too much to handle.

May God always give you strength and His grace to help you in your mission.
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy) <dlblank@showme.net>
- Thursday, September 23, 2004 6:12 PM CDT

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you find the positive and make the call to keep going all worth while with your words. thank you for being so inspiring to others and for truly calling people to take more steps for the benefit of so many children, parents and families. my heart becomes so heavy sometimes hearing of these struggles and unimaginable circumstances and i have no idea what it is even really like nor dare to imagine it. thank you for continuing to push us on and making us accountable in this fight for others. we must continue to keep our eyes on the Lord and not despair. i truly find you and so many other moms and dads and families remarkable!!! just watching you and others have the courage to move forward and to continue to fight motivates me. thank you. i continue to lift you and so many others in prayer!
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Wednesday, September 22, 2004 9:39 AM CDT

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Hi Alison...been thinking about you a lot lately, so wanted to just drop by and say hello. Give my love to Grant and the kids!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, September 21, 2004 1:21 PM CDT

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Hello friend... sounds like we've both been in the same 'place'. It just never ends, does it? I pray every day; "not another child; not another set of parents". I hope the golf tourn. goes smoothly & the weather is beautiful. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Monday, September 20, 2004 4:33 PM CDT

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God bless you Alison. Praying for you and your family and always thinking of your beautiful Alexandria. Love to you all.
Michelle <mwolfe@ffadlaw.com>
Rossville, GA - Monday, September 20, 2004 11:02 AM CDT

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Morning Alison. Just wanted to stop by and wish you all a good weekend. Hope to get to see you soon!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, September 17, 2004 7:44 AM CDT

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God Bless you and your family Alison! You truly are an inspiration. Praying that your beautiful angel Alexandria is finding ways to show you that she is o.kay. Until the day it is time to call you home, she will patiently be awaiting your arrival on the other side. Sending love and prayers your way.
Michelle <mwolfe@ffadlaw.com>
Rossville, GA - Monday, September 13, 2004 11:08 AM CDT

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Alison...What awesome work you and your husband are doing with the Alexandrias Angels Foundation! God bless you both!

Thinking of all of you and your beautiful angel.

Much love and continued prayers...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Friday, September 10, 2004 2:03 PM CDT

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Hi, I saw your address in Mikey's guestbook. I love what you are doing to help others :) Alexandria's photos show what a beautiful life she lived, however short, you were blessed! I have an Alexis and an Alison :)
XXOO, Marey

http://caringbridge.org/ca/ali
Marey, Ali's mom <kteachermom@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, September 9, 2004 11:16 PM CDT

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Pssstt...Alison......what's a good address for anyone to send donations to Alexandrias Angels Foundation????? Love you!
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Thursday, September 9, 2004 9:23 PM CDT

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Morning Haddocks. Was thinking of you this morning, so thought I would drop by and say hello. Hope all is well with you! Love to you all...
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Thursday, September 9, 2004 8:49 AM CDT

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Hi Alison, just dropping in to say hello and sending you good thoughts and wishes your way!
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Tuesday, September 7, 2004 1:45 PM CDT

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Just dropping by to let you know that our love and prayers are with you...today...tomorrow...forever.
In Love & Prayer...Eleasha & Cody <eleasha@cox.net>
www.caringbridge.org/va/cody, - Monday, September 6, 2004 1:37 AM CDT

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Hi Alison, hope you're having a good weekend.
I hope Matthew P. gets his match soon
Chris - Gooch's mom
Share the Love
- Sunday, September 5, 2004 12:35 AM CDT

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Morning Haddocks. Just stopping by to wish you all a nice holiday weekend. I'll be thinking about you!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, September 3, 2004 8:11 AM CDT

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Just stopping by to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless and *warm hugs* ><>†<><



Lighting Children's Lives

Check out my website

*Jennifer C* from Lighting Children's Lives <jenniferc@ilovetocolor.com>
Eugene, OR USA - Saturday, August 28, 2004 8:50 PM CDT

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Hi there. I just wanted to let you know that you are not forgotten. I am keeping you close in thought and prayer. I apologize for not signing in for so long and not getting back to your email. Just wanted to let you know that although I missed you guys, I totally understand--in fact, I thought that may be the case so I wasn't worried. I would love to meet though. You MO folks mosey on over to NC anytime. The more the merrier. I'd love to have you. Blessings and much love in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Saturday, August 28, 2004 2:19 PM CDT

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Morning Haddocks. I was thinking about you all this morning, so I thought I would drop by and say hi. Hope to get to see you all soon...have a wonderful weekend. Love, Kelly
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, August 27, 2004 7:46 AM CDT

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Dearest Family,
I have been thinking of you and your Angel today. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you find peace and comfort in the beautiful memories of your precious child in heaven.
God Bless you all,
Island Princess

Butterfly Island


Island Princess <mooks@bellsouth.net>
- Wednesday, August 25, 2004 11:07 AM CDT

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I continue to be inspired by what you write. Kailie's parents are so lucky to have you and Grant for friends. I pray that God continues to give you strength and to Kailie's parents, for the next few weeks are to be hard on them...
Nancy Dalton <nancyd106@msn.com>
- Monday, August 23, 2004 7:29 PM CDT

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As always, when I read your entries I am in awe. You are a wondeful role model. You are one of earth's angels sent from God. Have a good day! Thank you for the constant inspiration.
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, ON Canada - Monday, August 23, 2004 8:08 AM CDT

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As usual, your words convey so elegantly what so many of us feel. I don't know how you and Grant have done it, but I am so very grateful for all that you have done for Kailie, her family and friends. I watch you and Grant and see that even though our loss is deep, that we can and must go on. Thank you so much for being such a beautiful example to all of us. I love you guys!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, August 23, 2004 7:59 AM CDT

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Thinking about you my friend......
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Sunday, August 22, 2004 7:18 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
The beautiful entry you wrote about Kailie was such a blessing to read. May God continue to give you and Grant the strength you need to be a faithful witness for Him. I am so thankful that you continue to give the glory to the One that is so deserving. May God continue to bless you always.
In His love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Sunday, August 22, 2004 2:35 PM CDT

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Alison

I am utterly speechless from your last entry. Wise yet humble words spoken in honor of a young lady that will forever touch us and shape us... yet you also fill us with hope and faith and so earnestly remember to give glory to our Lord. His plan makes so much sense and if you look closely you see our Lord in everything. Oh, but how hard that is to do too. How our heart aches for the ones that have left. thank you for your perspective. I continue to uncover my own journey. Alexandria's and Kailie's lights still continue to shine. One day we will fully know what effect they have eternally had upon us. God bless you!
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Saturday, August 21, 2004 5:16 PM CDT

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Dear Alison and family,
I am praying for you and your family during this time. I know Kailie going home to heaven is a time of great rejoicing, but also a time of great sadness for those left behind. I can only imagine the memories that surface about Alexandria at a time like this. I am so sorry that both of these wonderful, beautiful children of God were here on earth for such a short time. Called home way too soon for any of us to be able to accept it without broken hearts. My prayers are with you at this time.
In His love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Wednesday, August 18, 2004 11:01 PM CDT

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Alison, my prayers are with you and Kalie's family. I pray for strength for all of you. They are so lucky to have someone like you by their side. God bless you all.
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Wednesday, August 18, 2004 2:49 PM CDT

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John and Johnelle are very blessed to
have you as their friend. God bless you.


Cheryl H. <pray_4kids@yahoo.com>
Georgia - Wednesday, August 18, 2004 2:37 PM CDT

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Thinking of you





Love Viks From Post Pals and Bears Who Care

viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Wednesday, August 18, 2004 11:02 AM CDT

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Alison, I am praying for your comfort as well as for Kailie's family. Asking God to give you and Grant the strength and wisdom to be of comfort to Kailie's family and friends.
Anita <armoore@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Tuesday, August 17, 2004 4:24 PM CDT

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Hi Alison, Grant and family. I just wanted to thank you again for everything you have done to support Kailie's family. You all have been a rock of strength for them in this difficult time. Being with you all fills my heart with love and hope. God bless you for always being there.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, August 17, 2004 1:42 PM CDT

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Alison!
What a blessing you have been to so many people. Your faith and continued hope in the Lord is refreshing in this world that teaches us otherwise, especially when looking at death. Thank you for being such an awesome friend to the Rhines family in this unbearable time. Your openness to the Lord's work in your life is amazing and speaks volumes to your character. Truly Alexandria and the whole ordeal you embraced continues to form you and continues to teach us... even if it seems at your expense. We still grow from you all the while you giving God His glory and honor. Thank you! I am also sure that all that is taking place with Kailie's family is opening past wounds for you. Thank you for being steadfast in your walk of faith.
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, mo - Monday, August 16, 2004 6:29 PM CDT

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~Alison~
I came across your beautiful Angel's site from thumbing through others. I can't help but feel connected to you. My daughter Alyssa is just about 18 months old and she was diagnosed with a JPA (juvenile pilocytic astocytoma - which is a brain tumor) on July 1st. I can tell you that reading your journal entries has made me both cry and smile. You are a strong woman and your family is blessed beyond belief. Alyssa is doing well. Her tumor is benign and I praise God for that, but it's still a scary time...come by her web page - I hope to hear from you soon. It's www.caringbridge.org/al/sweetalyssa
The Key Ohana ~ Tony, Erika, Alyssa, and our Fat cat Bill~ <tonysfreaka@hotmail.com>
Gunter AFB, AL AL - Monday, August 16, 2004 11:47 AM CDT

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Thinking about you.......hang in there my friend. I know this is so hard for you.....wish I could make it better.
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Sunday, August 15, 2004 6:07 PM CDT

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Alison,
I think you and your husband have discovered a way to endure your own unending loss, and that is to help others through their losses. Your friendship would be worth much more than gold. When Jesus Christ is allowed to work through those who call themselves His, it is a beautiful sight,and I think that is the way He puts His hand under our chin and lifts up our head. God's richest blessing to you.

Dixie Bly <Dixiebly@aol.com>
Boiling Springs , SC - Sunday, August 15, 2004 3:00 PM CDT

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Alison...Thank you for the update on Kailie...though it sure was heartbreaking to read. My heart aches for all of them and they're in my continued prayers.

God bless...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Sunday, August 15, 2004 6:27 AM CDT

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings..I get so overwhelmed at times I can't keep mine straight - you always help me make sense of my emotions. My heart is broken tonight after reading your update on Kailie's site and then coming here to read more. You are a blessing for the Rhines family, of that I am sure. As always, I am keeping you and your family in my prayers as well.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Saturday, August 14, 2004 9:01 PM CDT

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Hi Haddock Family,
I've been thinking about Alexandria alot today, and especially this evening when I looked up into a beautiful night sky full of stars... for some reason, it really made me think of her.

Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, what God has ready, for those who love him (from the Bible, I'm not sure where)

I really enjoyed the new pictures and entries in your journal. Have a blessed day.
Cathy Yanez <gethsemanem1435@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Saturday, August 14, 2004 1:08 AM CDT

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Alison~
I feel so sorry for the pain and anguish that you and other parents of Angels experience. It is so evident that each time another Angel earns his or her wings-if you have been able to heal ever so slightly-the wounds are fresh and raw again. My thoughts and prayers are with all the Moms and Dads, brothers and sisters, grandparents and families out there that are trying to live a new life.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Thursday, August 12, 2004 12:41 AM CDT

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What a beautiful entry. You have such a gift for conveying your thoughts and feelings...sometimes I read your entries and think "wow". It leaves me speechless. You give such hope to so many having to face these horrible times. Thank you so much Alison. God bless you and your beautiful family.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Thursday, August 12, 2004 8:08 AM CDT

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Dear Alison, just wanted to write and say a big heartfelt "thank you" for your kind words of wisdom and knowledge at the grocery store yesterday! I could have stood there all day and talked to you!! And if it weren't for Wyatt climbing on the bread and doughnut shelves crushing everything to smitherines - I probably would have. You have such a special way about you that envelops anyone you speak to. You talk straight from your heart and it shows. Alexandria definitely lives within you because you are a true angel!!!!
Love, Lisa
Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@centurytel.net>
- Thursday, August 12, 2004 7:38 AM CDT

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Alison,
Another beautiful entry that I pray will inspire many to look to the future during their time of grief and devastation. I remember so much the Alison you wrote of from that Easter, not personally, just from your journals. I also remember praying that God would find a way to show you how to live again with happiness, especially for your three children still on earth. I believe He has shown you a way. For that I praise Him and thank Him and ask that He continue to do the same for all grieving parents that have lost a child. Alison, continue to write, your words are touching and blessing many.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Wednesday, August 11, 2004 10:41 PM CDT

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Dear Alexandria's Family,
You have three beautiful children. Your sharing of faith is inspiration to us. Our prayer and thoughts are sent to your family.

Benjamin, Paulina, Erin (Forever Family with ~Esther~) <Mercy2Live@yahoo.com>
Dayton, OH US - Tuesday, August 10, 2004 3:43 PM CDT

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Hello Haddock Family,
Thinking of you lately; our prayers are with you.
Kathleen Maas-Stokes <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Monday, August 9, 2004 4:09 PM CDT

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Hello - I've been thinking about you and decided to just let you know I said a little prayer to Alexandria on her birthday. Got your golf tournament card -- hopefully one or both of us can make it this time!

Mary Morgan <bmo8230600@aol.com>
St. Louis, MO - Monday, August 9, 2004 1:58 PM CDT

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Alison and Grant

I've been praying for Kailie this summer and, of course, saw Alexandria's Angels. Now I've "met" your precious Alexandria. How wonderful that she inspired you to create your foundation to help other people.


Your faith is a wonderful witness for others. This morning Pastor Brenda (Mt. Zion UMC in Creve Coeur, MO) said that Christians represent Christ in the way they live their lives... "Your life may be the only Bible some people will open and read."

Indeed,you are worth reading!
Mrs. Pam
- Sunday, August 8, 2004 8:35 PM CDT

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I've been thinking about you a lot lately. You continue to inspire me.
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Sunday, August 8, 2004 8:46 AM CDT

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Alison, I'm sorry, I couldn't get here sooner; not feeling well. I thought about you a great deal over the weekend; knowing some of your thoughts and feelings, all too well. Rest assured... Andy was in charge of the food menu for the party & they're still party'n! (he always celebrated everything for days!) Holding you close in prayer. With love
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Sunday, August 8, 2004 4:32 AM CDT

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Alison and Grant,
Thought of you all day yesterday. Grant, I hope you made it home early. I saw a pink sunset yesterday when I was flying in, I know it was from Alexandria.
I continue to pray for all of you. Love, Cat

Cat Borkowski <RICHNCAT@OPTONLINE.NET>
Shoreham, NY - Saturday, August 7, 2004 3:02 PM CDT

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Alison that was a beautiful entry. Thinking of you as you endure another milestone without her. Happy Birthday In Heaven Alexandria
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Saturday, August 7, 2004 11:46 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I tried earlier to get into the guest book and could not, so I am a little late in acknowedging what would have been Alexandria's 11th birthday on earth. I do not know how birthdays work in heaven, but I do know that Alexandria is in the presence of the Lord, and I cannot think of anything more wonderful to celebrate.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
- Saturday, August 7, 2004 0:03 AM CDT

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thinking of you on alexandria's birthday. many thoughts and prayers, angelique parker
www.caringbridge.org/oh/harleiparker
angelique parker <pfloyd326@yahoo.com>
ohio - Friday, August 6, 2004 8:58 PM CDT

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You & your family continue to be in my thoughts & prayers. Your faith is always an inspiration.
Eileen Spratt <etspratt@aol.com>
Eureka, MO - Friday, August 6, 2004 8:01 PM CDT

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Thinking of you on Alexandria's birthday.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Friday, August 6, 2004 1:38 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday Alexandria! Keeping you and your family in our thoughts and prayers today and always!
The Bly's <kbbly@aol.com>
- Friday, August 6, 2004 12:23 AM CDT

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Sending lots of prayers to you and your family on this special day! Happy Birday Alexandria!
Carol <ziggy1424@aol.com>
Cape Coral, FL - Friday, August 6, 2004 12:14 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday sweet sissy girl!!!!!!! I know you are having an AWESOME very, very pink birthday in heaven!! You are so tremendously missed here. Thank you for always reminding me, in your little ways, to what is important in life. I love you!!

Alison & Grant I know how hard Alexandria's anniversary dates are on you both. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers today!!! Thank you both for blessing us with your friendship.

God Bless,


dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Friday, August 6, 2004 12:07 AM CDT

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Happy heavenly birthday, Alexandria! I hope you're having a lavish tea party with angel biscuits and cups and saucers of gold!
Kim Rutherford
Knoxville, TN USA - Friday, August 6, 2004 10:59 AM CDT

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Hi Haddock family. Thinking of you all today and praying for you too.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, August 6, 2004 10:40 AM CDT

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Praying for you today on Alexandria's birthday.
Briana Roehling
Pflugerville, TX - Friday, August 6, 2004 9:42 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday to a precious angel. I'll be thinking of you today and sending lots of love and prayers up for your Mommy and Daddy, brothers and sister. God bless you all.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Friday, August 6, 2004 8:55 AM CDT

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXANDRIA..... You are all in my thoughts and prayers today and always.
JEANINE RIENDEAU <jrien0512@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Friday, August 6, 2004 8:43 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday - beautiful Angel Alexandria.
Cheryl H. <pray_4kids@yahoo.com>
Georgia - Friday, August 6, 2004 8:04 AM CDT

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (CHA-CHA-CHA), HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU (CHA-CHA-CHA)....HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ALEXANDRIA....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!(CHA-CHA-CHA)! Thinking about your precious Angel today (and everyday).....Alison, sending all my hugs to you and Grant. I know if Meghan is in charge of the birthday singing (with her froggie voice), everyone will be singing Happy Birthday Cha-Cha-Cha to your Sissy. Love to you my friend.
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Friday, August 6, 2004 7:22 AM CDT

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Stopping in to wish Alexandria an early Happy Heavenly Birthday...I'm sure you will take care of all your family and friends tomorrow by sending them smiles when they think of you. God Bless you Pretty Angel Girl.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Thursday, August 5, 2004 3:15 PM CDT

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Sorry to be a day late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADDISON. I hope you had a great day. Alison thanks for being there when I needed someone to talk to and for giving me great ideas for a new career.... I really appreciate our friendship. You make a mean Pina Colada keep them coming.
Jeanine Riendeau <jrien0512@aol.com>
O'fallon, mo - Thursday, August 5, 2004 12:46 AM CDT

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADDISON!! We hope you have the best birthday ever. We miss you and love you!!
Love,
Brett & Mackenzie
Brett & Mackenzie <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, August 5, 2004 6:55 AM CDT

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Addison-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADDISON!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUU!!!!

Here's a big birthday hug and kiss (OXOXOXOXOX) from Katie bug and I. We love you Addison. Hope you are having a great birthday.

God Bless,


Mrs. Dawn and Katie bug <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, August 4, 2004 4:36 PM CDT

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADDISON!!!!!! I know your big sister is sending you hugs from Heaven on your birthday today. Hope your day is a special one sweet girl. I'll sing a Happy Birthday cha-cha-cha just for you tonight :o) I bet I know two little girls in Heaven blowing butterfly kisses just for you. Wait for the wind to blow- that's a kiss from your sissy!
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Wednesday, August 4, 2004 4:09 PM CDT

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I have been to this page a few times, however never signed the guestbook.

Thank you, thank you for opening up to all of us. My son Blake who is 5 has ALL. He is my bestfriend and through the whole 1 1/2 years we have been going through this I still feel very angery. Not all the time, there are days that I accept it. However I don't want to be angery anymore. We only have a year left of treatment. Your words ment so much even though I don't know you. I can only hope that one day I can open myself up to so many things like you have.

Love,
Natalie
Natalie Vorwerk <anvorwerk@netzero.com>
- Wednesday, August 4, 2004 8:52 AM CDT

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Alison-

It has been I while since I've signed in to the website (hummmm could that be because we talk so much during the day I don't have the time LOL!!!) I just wanted to let you know how much I treasure our friendship. Can not imagine sharing Women of Faith experience (and many tears) with anyone else. I will always be "standing in the gap" for you!!!! Love you!

God Bless,



dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Tuesday, August 3, 2004 5:53 PM CDT

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My admiration for my little sister continues to grow. Your strength, your faith and ability to help others in your own despair is awesome. "Proud" is an understatement. Much love, Michelle
Michelle Suter <michelle1210@yahoo.com>
Dallas, TX - Tuesday, August 3, 2004 7:37 AM CDT

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What an awesome journal entry. You are amazing!!! My thoughts and prayers are always with you.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Monday, August 2, 2004 7:11 PM CDT

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Morning Alison - I came to your website this morning, "searching" for something, not quite knowing what that something was. But, as usual, I found it. This weekend has been such an emotional roller coaster...I needed to hear words of hope, and I found them here on your website. Thank you soooo much for continuing to share your journey with us. I am sure that there are so many others out there who have found what they were looking for by reading your inspirational words, just as I have. Thank you. May God continue to bless you the way He has blessed those of us who know you.

Hope to see you soon!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, August 2, 2004 8:53 AM CDT

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Alison, again, another valuable lesson in life you teach us. Just when you think you have it so rough, you come across a journal entry, such as yours, and then you see things from a different perspective. Here is a lady who pours out her heart and soul to thousands of people via this website, shares her most intimate thoughts, feelings, words, and outloook on life, because she has experienced the most painful experience, (the loss of her child)and you think your problem is so big! Thanks to you, I can be a better person today, a better understanding person, one who has lost judgement of other people. One who has gained compassion for those who may not understand or "get it". Because of you, I can put my thoughts, feelings, and words into a different perspective and know that things are really o.k. Thank you Alison, for bringing us hope, bringing us faith, in times of such dispair. You have shown the world that life really is good, no matter what happens! You are the bringer of light, God's will to this heavenly earth, right here, right now. God bless you on this journey we call life. For making other people "get it" That is your mission.
Lynn <limbesi@optonline.net>
Long Island, NY USA - Sunday, August 1, 2004 5:31 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Once again, your writing moved me to tears! Girlfriend, when are you going to write a book? Although this journal is better than ANY book I've ever read. It is a book - a book of life, death, hope, realization, humanity, beginnings and trials. One that you share so freely to all who read. Thank you for all your inspiring words and wisdom. You are a gift. And Alexandria is a gift to all as well. God Bless and God Speed!
Love, Lisa
Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@centurytel.net>
- Saturday, July 31, 2004 4:39 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I pray that every grieving mother of a lost child could read your latest entry of HOPE. It is only through your knowledge and faith of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that you are able to write and feel such an entry of HOPE. I feel such a burden for the parents who have lost children and do not have that belief and faith. I will continue to pray that they will find what you have found, because I do believe it is the only way to feel happiness again after going through such a devastating loss, such as a child. Yes, you are correct when you state that Alexandria's site has taken many of us to a new level of knowledge of childhood cancer. Also, let me say that Alexandria's mother's entries in her journal have also taken many of us to a new level of understanding of the grief process when losing a child. I so remember reading entries after losing her that were not filled with the hope of the latest entry, yet they always were filled with your belief and faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I truly believe that it was your faith and never letting go of that faith that brought you to where you are today with such a tremendous amount of HOPE. I once heard that hope as we see it here on earth is nothing more than a wish, but hope as God speaks of in His Word is a promise. He has promised you that you will one day be reunited with your precious Alexandria again and because of that HOPE you can continue to live out your remaining years here on earth with happiness. That is not to say that you will not always grieve and miss Alexandria, but God's HOPE gives you a purpose to still exist here on this earth. Alison, I hope to one day meet you in person (maybe at a Pearl BMD), but even if I never do, you and your precious family will always remain in my thoughts and prayers. Alexandria touched my life in many ways and she will never be forgotten.
In His love and friendship,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Saturday, July 31, 2004 4:00 PM CDT

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Thank you for sharing your inspirational thoughts. You are a special person. Alexandria would be proud of her Mommy.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, July 31, 2004 8:27 AM CDT

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Alison,
I don't know what to say. I think this could be one of the most powerful entries yet. It gives so much insight, hope and understanding. You truly are an amazing wife, mother and friend. Thank you again for your words!
Lots of love and hugs
Tracey
Tracey <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
Wrentham, MA - Saturday, July 31, 2004 7:38 AM CDT

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Alison,

Just stopping by to say hello and to let you know that I think of you and Alexandria often.
You are in my prayers.
I hope your day is FULL of God's blessings!!
~Much Love & prayers~
Cheryl H. <pray_4kids@yahoo.com>
Georgia - Thursday, July 29, 2004 7:09 AM CDT

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It made my heart smile that you and Carol were able to meet each other personally. Unfortunately, that means you've both lost children, and I feel bad for your circumstances. I smiled hearing how Carol had the gifts for you. I follow Meghan's website (although not as often as I once was able--I'm just not able to go around all the sites like I once did) and could "tell" that Carol is as wonderful as you describe. In fact, you and Carol are the two Mother's who write so nicely in your daughter's journals...it does not surprise me that you are connected, in more ways than one. It sounds like you are fortunate to have found each other, albeit because of these horrible circumstances.

I continue to think of you and Alexandria. God Bless.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 7:20 PM CDT

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Dear Alison:

I thought of you this past weekend. We had a nanny staying on Sunday night with our kids that knew Alexandria. It was a "small world" moment for sure! Liz is a nurse at Children's and was a member of Alexandria's team (I think that's what you would call her!).

Anyway, we smiled about how Alexandria had touched our lives, her from meeting her and me from knowing your family.

Please know that I still think of you often and pray that you are fairing well. I can't wait to see you in August (can you believe that school starts in 4 weeks!).
Kim Eplett <knadn_eh@msn.com>
O'Fallon, MO US - Wednesday, July 28, 2004 4:21 PM CDT

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Just stopping by to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless and *warm hugs* ><>†<><


http://lightingchildrenslives.org
My website
*Jennifer C* from Lighting Children's Lives <jenniferc@ilovetcolor.com>
Eugene, OR USA - Sunday, July 25, 2004 9:17 PM CDT

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Dear Alison and Grant- what a moving poem and entry. It was especially poignant to me as I realized the 9th anniversary of my brother's death is in 2 days on 7/27. Funny thing about grief- you think you're going around living this life as best as you can, then read a poem or touching story, and there it is, raw and bleeding like it just happened. I am a different person as well. Your commitment to helping others in terrible situations is inspiring- many would simply close that door and not put themselves through the pain. Take care of yourself- love, Melissa
melissa day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
fishers, in usa - Sunday, July 25, 2004 10:17 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Thank you for sharing about the Bereaved Parents meeting. As usual, your journal was very heartfelt and inspiring. I am so humbled and in awe of your strength to go on each and every day after your tremendous loss. Of course, you must go on for the sake of your other children, but you do it with such dignity and grace. Continue to glorify God in all that you do.
In Him,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Saturday, July 24, 2004 12:27 AM CDT

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What an amazing journal! I can see your family's healing through our Savior, Jesus. I will continue to pray for these valiant children in their battle with cancer and for their families.
Virginia Becker <vjchosa@yahoo.com>
Fort Morgan, CO USA - Saturday, July 24, 2004 1:18 AM CDT

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Alison,
Thank you for sharing your experiences at the Bereaved Parents meeting and also regarding Kailie's progress.
Thinking of you and praying.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, July 24, 2004 0:20 AM CDT

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Alison-
What a true gift it is for me to come to your page and read your entries. Inspiring, thought-provoking, humbling, lessons of hope- you help to change us and make us more whole... because certainly this world does not teach us those true lessons. It absolutely utterly amazes me that you can and do see God's hand in all of this. He has the perfect plan! He knew that you had to meet Meghan's mom and Sean's mom. God makes no mistakes. I am absolutely positive that one day we will see that everything had to happen the way it did and it was all worth it and for the best. But that is sure hard to believe sometimes right now I am sure standing from where you do. Thank you for telling us your journey and reminding us that through that journey you are stronger and changed and filled with faith. Now that is the lessons the world should be teaching us. I thank God that I am able to learn many lessons from moms like you. Truly I cannot fully grasp it all... but do not give up on us. We need to grow from you and many others.

sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Friday, July 23, 2004 6:34 PM CDT

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Alison,
Keep up the good work. Continue to take this tragedy and turn whatever you can of it into triumphs. How proud your sweet Alexandria must be to look down upon her Mama and see your courage, bravery, love and kindness towards others.

Grief is an unbelievable leveling agent. Until a loss such as ours is suffered it is impossible to understand how it changes us from the very core of our being...some change is for the better-we are wiser, more caring, braver...yet, calloused in a way that we must guard ourselves from our hearts becoming "a rock beating inside of me..." we understand about searching for that "Missing Person" Michael W. Smith talks about in his song...

Stay strong, stay brave-do not lose heart and be of good courage, for He has overcome the world...
Peace, Kathy
Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel <ckcharlton@aol.com>
- Friday, July 23, 2004 2:18 PM CDT

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Alison,
Your words always touch my heart. I am thinking of all of you everyday and miss you terribly. I will talk to you soon.
Lots of love and hugs
Tracey
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
Wrentham, MA - Friday, July 23, 2004 1:11 PM CDT

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Always thinking of you, always in our prayers.


Nicky H
dear friend of Carter*http://caringbridge.org/pa/carterfinger/*
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
- Wednesday, July 21, 2004 10:13 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and your beautiful daughter and sending prayers of comfort and peace.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 6:33 PM CDT

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Thinking of you lots, love from Poppy and everybody at postpals. xxxxxx
Poppy <info@postpals.co.uk>
Milton Keynes, England - Tuesday, July 20, 2004 3:36 PM CDT

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Dearest Allison,

Just to let you know I am thinking of you and your beautiful Alexandria and praying you find peace, joy, and hope. I also want you to know Alexandria has not been forgotten!

Love and hugs
Judy
Catch An Angel
Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Monday, July 19, 2004 10:13 AM CDT

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Im sending all my love to you all,

Love

Viks
viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Saturday, July 17, 2004 11:31 AM CDT

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Hi Alison. So glad you made it home safely. I just wanted to thank you for everything that you have done to help Kailie and her family. We are all so very blessed and lucky to have you in our lives. Hope to see you soon!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, July 16, 2004 8:26 AM CDT

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I'm so inspired by your page and by your strength in Jesus Christ. I found you guys through Kailie's page. I was a leukemia patient with Kailie in 2001. You are now added to my prayers, as I can only imagine how hard some days are.
Kelly King <kaking24@hotmail.com>
Rolla, MO USA - Friday, July 16, 2004 1:28 AM CDT

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Prayers of Love
are sent your way,
May the Blessed Lord
stay with you and comfort
you as each day passes.
Love Angel Toto <pat_totoofoz@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, July 15, 2004 6:37 PM CDT

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Alison,

Welcome home! As always, your journal entry moved me to tears. The love and support you show other families that are going through what you've been through is so amazing. Only another who's been in your shoes know what it's like and thank God, you have one another. You are an amazing person, so strong, so dedicated, so loving. I admire you and it makes me want to be a better person. Thanks Alison, for your lessons in life.
Lynn
Long Island, NY - Thursday, July 15, 2004 1:08 PM CDT

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Stopping by to let you know that your in our thoughts and prayers.

Love LaKota and her mom,Debbie
God be with you!!!!!!!!!!
~*~ LaKota~*~

http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/laplafcan <LaKotaDeb@hotmail.com>
St.Cloud, MN - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 12:08 AM CDT

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Glad you are home safely. Can't wait for the update on your trip.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, July 14, 2004 5:38 AM CDT

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Alison,
Today is my first time visiting this page.
I am so touched by Alexandria's pages and by the love that you continue to share with so many through your journal. Even now - Alexandria is touching lives. She has certainly touched mine.
~Cheryl from Georgia <pray_4kids@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, July 13, 2004 2:40 PM CDT

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your site has made me feel so many emotions for I myself am an ALL Mom of a beautiful 5 year old son. He was diagnosed almost 11 months ago and life has been up and down since. Reading your site has helped in knowing that what I am thinking and feeling isnt strange or at all alone. I have been told so many times how lucky I am that my son only has ALL, many times I dont feel so lucky. Thank you for your site. I really needed to read your words and uplifting attitude.
Lacy L Furbacher <travlinmom26@aol.com>
Pulaski, ny usa - Tuesday, July 13, 2004 1:19 AM CDT

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what a beautiful picture on te front. Hoping your flight went well. Love, Colton and family
www.caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Monday, July 12, 2004 11:10 AM CDT

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I wish I had some answers for you. I wish I knew why kids get cancer at all, why we are made to feel lucky its only ALL, and yet we seem to still be losing so many to it.I am sure it feels like the grief is suffocating you. I can only equate it to the fear of losing a child, of which I am sure is no match. Please know we are all thinking of you. I hope the bereaved parents meeting helped. Although its sickening that theres a need for one at all...
Chris - Gooch's mom
Share the Love
- Saturday, July 10, 2004 11:38 AM CDT

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Hello Alison,
As always your updates move me. I hope that your trip to SC went well and you got the time alone and support that you needed.

Kailie will forever be in my prayers as you and your family are.

Just wanted to say hello and let you know that after 1 1/2 years I am still here with you.

Sincerely,
Nicky H
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
Pittsburgh PA, - Friday, July 9, 2004 10:57 PM CDT

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Praying a safe journey for you.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Friday, July 9, 2004 2:32 PM CDT

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Don't forget to call me 336 250 9175. I'm not sure if you'll be checking this while you're gone, so if anyone sees it, please give Alison the message. I'd hate to miss meeting her and Carol when they will be so close to me. I am praying. Blessings, love and traveling mercies in Jesus name.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Thursday, July 8, 2004 4:36 AM CDT

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Alison, Hope you have a great time at your meeting. Sorry I wont be joining you the timing just didnt work out, maybe next year. Tell Carol I said hi.

Ruth Trombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
Westerly, Ri - Wednesday, July 7, 2004 9:52 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and praying that you are all doing well.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Monday, July 5, 2004 3:44 PM CDT

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A friend compared the 4th of July (celebration of freedom) to a true celebration by our loved ones who have truly earned their freedom from the pain and suffering of this world. I want you to know you are in my heart and prayers always. I hope Alexandria and my Jen are celebrating their freedom together.

With love, hugs and prayers
Judy
Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Friday, July 2, 2004 7:48 PM CDT

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Hi Alison - just wanted to stop by and wish you all a very happy 4th of July. Thanks again for all that you are doing for the Rhines family. Hope to see you again soon!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, July 2, 2004 12:40 AM CDT

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You have such a beautiful family! I only wish that I was one of the special people that got to personally meet Alexandria before she went home to be with Jesus. You are such an inspiration Alison. Your faith stays so strong. We are praying for Kalie and appreciate your updates.

Happy 4th!
God Bless,
Gretchen & Jeff Woods <gretchenwoods@charter.net>
O'Fallon, MO - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 6:45 PM CDT

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Your little girl is beautiful.
My 15 yr. old Jake went to be with Jesus this February 11th.
Your link was on a site I visited which was very encouraging and it reminded me of Gods goodness in even the darkest of times. Jake too went through transplant and 6 months later GVHD attacked his lungs. It is my hope that as time goes on God will bring even deeper healing and understanding. May the Lord bless you as we approach this holiday weekend and let us always remember that true freedom is found only in Christ.
Peace and Hugs to you and yours,
Lisa Mars
Lisa Mars <dgmlam@juno.com>
Blaine, Mn USA - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 1:42 PM CDT

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Beautiful pictures of a beautiful family. Have a good day!
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Wednesday, June 30, 2004 8:01 AM CDT

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Hi Alison,
I was just visiting some Caringbridge sites and came across Alexandria's. She was a beautiful little girl. I read some of the past journal entries and was very touched and cried for your loss. My son Jason who is 18 years old was diagnosed this year in February with Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma Stage 4 with a tumor in his left foot that had already spread to bone marrow. How very different life is for us now and how we hope and pray that he survives this. It is heartbreaking to watch our child or any child suffer. We never realized before Jason got sick how many children are suffering from cancer and we wish something could be done that more could live. I pray that Our Heavenly Father will comfort you and give you peace.
Pam Archer <davidandpam.archer@comcast.net>
Hendersonville, TN USA - Saturday, June 26, 2004 0:40 AM CDT

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Hi Alison - I just wanted to thank you for all of the prayers that have come from your friends and family for Kailie and crew. When I went to see Kailie the other night, I swear that I could feel the presence of guardian Angels in her room with her, and I'm sure that one of them was Alexandria. Thank you so very much for all you have done and continue to do. The special gifts that you and your family bring to all those around you are most definitely blessings from above. God bless you all!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, June 25, 2004 9:44 AM CDT

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Just stopping by to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. Are you still coming this way this Summer? I don't want to miss you if you are. I'll drive FAR out of my way to meet you if that will help. I think you have my cell number and I KNOW you have my email but I will mail them to you again just in case ok? Blessings and love to you in Christ. And, I am praying for Kailie too--thanks for sharing that request. HUGS! Happy (belated) Father's Day Grant!
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 1:17 PM CDT

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Grant and Allison,
Thinking of you on this Father's day. As always,you write beautifully, and make all realize how important it is, to quote Alexandria, "Savor the Flavor".
Love,
Cat
Cat Borkowski <RICHNCAT@OPTONLINE.NET>
Shoreham, NY - Sunday, June 20, 2004 7:46 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
What a beautiful and touching tribute your journal entry was to Kailie and her family. My prayers are unending for her and her family. Even though I had not signed their guest book often, I had followed Kailie through Alexandria's site for quite some time. I wanted to wish Grant a Happy Father's Day today, even though I know it can be a bittersweet day for him. He has four beautiful children, but is only physically able to touch and hold three of them. I will never pretend to comprehend how difficult that must be. Grant, may God continue to bless your life until you are reunited again with your precious Alexandria and I am so thankful that you are the type of father that teaches his children who their real Father is!
God bless you and your family always.

In His love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Sunday, June 20, 2004 3:40 PM CDT

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Grant-

Hope you are having a Happy Father's Day!!!! Enjoy the day you deserve it. Thank you so much for letting me steal Alison for an hour to pick out colors for the new house. Had a great time Saturday BQing. We need to do it more often. Talk you guys soon.

God Bless,

Dawn & Darryl Dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Sunday, June 20, 2004 2:26 PM CDT

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Alison, I was saddened by your loss, but her memory does live on! I am new to this site. My daughter was diagnosed in September 2003 with ALL. I was so afraid to see all these innocent children dealing with this disease but here I am today. I hope that things will get easier for you knowing that I could not even begin to feel your pain. I am so sorry! She is beautiful!
Bobbi Romesberg
Struthers, oh usa - Sunday, June 20, 2004 12:52 AM CDT

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A special father's day wish for you... one of love and hope. I know your angel is proud of you today!

Christy
Angel Dreamz
Christy
- Sunday, June 20, 2004 11:49 AM CDT

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Grant: Stopping by to wish you a Happy Father's Day. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you today and always. Can't wait to meet Alison :o) See ya in a few weeks sista.
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Sunday, June 20, 2004 9:24 AM CDT

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Alison, yet another beautiful entry you write. The gift of writng you have my dear lady. Along with many other gifts. God bless you for visiting with Kalie and her family. Only one who has been there can know the pain and suffering they are going through. We truly are one big family to God, who needs us to help one another. Thank you for sharing once again, your story, your life, your angel. It means so much to all who come here, whether they express that or not. Reading your words through the tears, always makes my heart just a little bit wider each and every time.
Happy Father's Day to Grant!
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Saturday, June 19, 2004 4:44 PM CDT

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Thinking of all of you and praying for you as always. I know that there is a beautiful angel smiling at her Daddy this Father's Day weekend.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Saturday, June 19, 2004 9:47 AM CDT

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Thinking of you. Glad you can be there for the Rhines family.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, June 19, 2004 8:26 AM CDT

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We check in on you all periodically and we were saddened to hear of your friend Kaile's relapse. What a beautiful girl she is - we will keep her,as well as all of you,in our prayers.
The Vena Family <forchiefs@aol.com>
Overland Park, KS - Friday, June 18, 2004 3:09 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,
Glad you are back in town. I am sure your visit to Kailie was and will be a blessing to her and her family. My heart is just breaking for all of them, but I will continue to storm heaven in their behalf.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Wednesday, June 16, 2004 11:21 PM CDT

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Hi Alison. It was so wonderful to finally meet you Monday. I just wish it was under more pleasant circumstances. :-) As Kailie's "big sister" I just wanted to stop by and thank you for all that you have done for her and her family, and for all of the loving support you continue to give to them. Hope to see you again soon!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, June 16, 2004 7:51 AM CDT

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Thought I would drop in and say "hi" and let you know I'm thinking of you. I'm glad all of you were able to have some fun time at the beach. Keeping you in my prayers!
Kathy H.
Thousand Oaks, CA - Tuesday, June 15, 2004 0:13 AM CDT

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I am always moved when I come to your site and today was no different. Not only is your family in my prayers but so is Carol Mack's. I hope that you two will get to meet and so enjoy each others company. I can't explain what Alexandria's website has done for me. Your writings are beautiful. Many hugs and many many prayers to you, Alison and your family.

Nicky H

http://caringbridge.org/pa/carterfinger/
Nicky H <three4me235@comcast.net>
Heidleberg, PA, - Monday, June 14, 2004 10:48 PM CDT

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I came to your site through another one. What a beautiful child she was! You are an inspiration to others to see the beauty and hope that life still offers, even in the middle of incredible pain. You are in my thoughts today.
Shelley Bender <jsbender@tcc.on.ca>
Bayfield, Ont. Canada - Monday, June 14, 2004 12:39 AM CDT

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Stopping by to check in. Glad that you were able to head to the beach for those very important family vacations. Its wonderful that Daddy could join you. When Daddy can't go, Alison you deserve a medal for packing up the vehicle and heading out on your own with the kids. You are truly one exceptional woman. May God continue to bless you!
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Monday, June 14, 2004 8:01 AM CDT

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Stopping by to let you to know that we are thinking you, and sending lots of prayers your way.+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Love LaKota , Debbie & Steve
God be with you!!!!!!!!
~*~ LaKota~*~
DOG (DEPEND ON GOD)



http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/laplafcan <LaKotaDeb@hotmail.com>
St.Cloud, MN - Sunday, June 13, 2004 6:14 PM CDT

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Alison: How special that all of you were able to spend some special time together simply relaxing and having fun. You know Alexandria was smiling te entire trip. And now to have family visiting as well. Such adventures you will be sharing. May the Lord continue to spread His loving arms around you.
Peggy S.
- Sunday, June 13, 2004 2:10 PM CDT

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I was catching up on some entries I missed. I was very moved by Sedonia's birthday gifts. Wow! that is so amazing--it brought me to tears to think a 9 year old could be so selfless. Also, congratulations on the design work! Hope you have a safe & wonderful time on your vacation. We just got back from Gulf Shores--it is always so relaxing & peaceful at the beach. Hugs to you! Loved your journal entry about the "small stuff". I always seem to get so hung up on the stuff that really doesn't matter. Take care of yourselves & hope you ENJOYED your family time. You are always in our prayers.
The Pyle Family <stlpylefamily@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, June 10, 2004 1:51 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,

Just checking in for your latest update. Thanks again for your journal entry. Your love and light is felt through each and every one of them. Have a safe trip.
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Thursday, June 10, 2004 8:04 AM CDT

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Alison, sorry its been so long since my last note... I read the entry when Pat sent you the pictures and Johnny's rosary... that was hard for me too!!! Even though its been 12 years since losing him, then Mamma, Daddy, Alexandria and now Beth (it was one year on June 3) we all are still grieving... it will never stop. I'm sure Johnny and Alexandria are making up for a lot of lost time for all of us. Michelle and the kids visited and stayed with Joella - they always have a good time. Hope you all can visit soon. Love to have you stay and visit all the old places you remember. Take care and let us know your new address.
Your Dad's sister and your aunt,
Nancy K

Nancy Hunter Moore
930 Scott St.
New Madrid, MO 63869
Nancy Kay
- Sunday, June 6, 2004 1:38 PM CDT

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It's been too long since I have said hello - though I visit the site often. You remain in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you are all doing well.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Wednesday, June 2, 2004 6:30 PM CDT

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On this memorial day weekend, not only do I remember those that have died for our country, but also I am remembering your precious Alexandria. Blessing to you always.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Sunday, May 30, 2004 11:53 PM CDT

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Hello, just dropping by to send a hug to you









Love Viks on behalf of everyone at Post Pals


viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Sunday, May 30, 2004 5:31 PM CDT

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Thank you.
Mike Hentz, Louie's father <mikehentz@fuse.net>
- Wednesday, May 26, 2004 8:20 PM CDT

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ALISON, YOUR NEW JOURNAL ENTRY IS WITHOUT A DOUBT ONE OF YOUR MOST BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE INDEED A RARE TREASURE. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS FAMILY COULD COPE WITH THE LOSE OF ALEXANDRIA WITHOUT YOUR INSPIRATION. LOVE, MEMAW
NOEL <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO USA - Wednesday, May 26, 2004 10:46 AM CDT

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Hi Alison, Thanks for putting Louie's site in your journal yesterday. And thank you to everyone for your prayers. Please check out his site and leave a note - I know his parents would greatly appreciate the support.
It was good seeing you the other day at the movies Alison. Let's get these boys together this week! I'll talk to you soon. Love, Lisa
Lisa Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@centurytel.net>
- Wednesday, May 26, 2004 7:59 AM CDT

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I come here every week to follow up with you although I don't sign the guest book like I should...You are an inspiration to me as well as countless other mothers in the world-God Bless You.
Kathy Adelson Laucius <klaucius@sbcglobal.net>
Houston, TX USA - Tuesday, May 25, 2004 8:39 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and your Angel today...
Hugs and Love Carolyn ~Quilts of Love~

Carolyn <carolyn@quiltsoflove.com>
Oklahoma United States - Tuesday, May 25, 2004 0:00 AM CDT

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Alison~
Am thinking of Alexandria this evening and just wanted to say hello. I enjoyed your most recent entry noting all the signs that your little girl is sending you. What a wonderful 'sister' she has and what an imp of a little brother too!! Best wishes and Take Care.
Teri <tlxavier@cox.net>
Nashville, TN - Monday, May 24, 2004 10:33 PM CDT

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I, too, was thinking about how beautiful Alexandria's picture is on the homepage. There she is in soft pink with her lipstick and her nails polished and her jewelry -- the essence of feminine loveliness and elegance. A beautiful child, a beautiful angel. May her beauty and grace permeate your lives each and every day. She truly was -- and is -- a special gift from God.
Kim Rutherford
Knoxville, TN USA - Friday, May 21, 2004 12:21 AM CDT

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just stopping by to say hello! What a gorgeous pic on the front!
www.caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Thursday, May 20, 2004 3:25 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and your Angel today...I pray that the Lord helps you to find comfort in your memories and the love in your heart.
God Bless You,
Island Princess



Island Princess <islandprincess@quiltsoflove.com>
- Thursday, May 20, 2004 12:09 AM CDT

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Thinking about you and our girls :o)
Carol Mack (Mom2Angelz Meghan & Taylor) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Wednesday, May 19, 2004 10:27 AM CDT

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It has been awhile since I was able to check in so I wanted to say hi and that you are thought of today and often. What a witness you are to so many! Thanks!
Paula
- Tuesday, May 18, 2004 11:22 PM CDT

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May the sweet Lord ease
the pain of your loss,
yet keep your child alive
with sweet memories of
good times shared.
Love Angel Toto <pat_totoofoz@yahoo.com>
- Monday, May 17, 2004 8:34 PM CDT

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Alison, as always a beautiful entry. I love the way you describe your precious angel's little signs to you. She is definitely with you always!
Thank you again, for your entry. They are such precious gifts that you leave for others. They do more than you'll ever know.
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Monday, May 17, 2004 3:15 PM CDT

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I think it's just wonderful what your Niece is doing! What a wonderful thing. And I agree with you...the dove is definately a sign!
Kellie McClendon
Wentzville, mo - Sunday, May 16, 2004 7:25 PM CDT

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This was another beautiful entry. We were at our friends house tonight and once again, I found myself talking about your family, especially, Alexandria. No matter who I tell the story of Alexandira to, they are so touched by it. I talk about your amazing family and how the strenth of that, and your faith helps guide you day after day. My friend Amanda asked how you cope and I said that I don't even think Alison has the answer to that. If you did, you could be a very rich women. My point here is that you are always on our minds and in our hearts. Not even miles will ever change that.
Lots of love,
Tracey
Tracey <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, May 15, 2004 8:33 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,

I have been visiting your website and checking in on you and your family for quite some time - a lurker as you would say. I have been quite touched by your journal entries - I find them endearing - I also enjoy your anecdotes.

My heart goes out to you - you are a true testament to motherhood. Stay the course and take comfort in those signs from your daughter - she will always be with you!


Cindy Podlaszewski <podski@libcom.com>
Washington, PA - Friday, May 14, 2004 9:31 AM CDT

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Purple is my favourite colour too! Glad you're able to not sweat the small stuff. Good job on the photo shoot. Have a wonderful day.
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Friday, May 14, 2004 8:16 AM CDT

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ALISON, I CHECK OFTEN ON YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT THE LASTEST ENRTY THAT YOU WROTE WAS WONDERFUL. I AM SO IMPRESSED WITH HOW STRONG YOU ARE. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER. I AM GLAD YOU HAD A WONDERFUL MOTHERS DAY . GOD BLESS JULI
JULI COOPER <JLOGAN1995@AOL.COM>
FESTUS, MO - Thursday, May 13, 2004 10:30 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Checking in again and also asking for prayers for a fellow Homemade Gourmet distributor in California named Kim. She had a bone marrow transplant a couple of months ago and everything was looking great. We've just recently learned that she has relapsed and is barely hanging on. Her husband has asked for any and all prayers on her behalf-she is really trying to fight with the little strength she has. I hope you don't mind me sharing this in your guestbook because I know there are tons of prayer warriors out there praying for miracles against this horrific thing. I continue to pray for you and your family.
Love,
Jenni
Jenni Burford <jennib@cox-internet.com>
Bentonville, AR - Thursday, May 13, 2004 9:57 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I think we are all "SUCKERS" when it comes to our children. It is a love like no other. I can only imagine how our Father in heaven must love all of His children here on earth, and those that are now in His presence. Your Mother's Day entry was bittersweet, funny and beautiful all rolled into one. God bless as always.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Wednesday, May 12, 2004 9:20 PM CDT

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Allison,

Just a quick hello to let you know that we still check in.
You're still in our thoughts and prayers. I know I'm terrible about not signing in, I'll try to do better.

Congratulations on your design work!

Love to you all,


The Forness Family <Forness2321@earthlink.net>
Ellisville, MO - Wednesday, May 12, 2004 7:26 PM CDT

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Allison, you cracked me up that is for sure! I love the word of the day for Mom, "Sucker!" Ain't that the truth...but we gladly become "suckers" for our kids. How wonderful that you are the kind of Mom who "sucks it up" and rises to the occasion for the sake of the kids, your husband, and yourself! Happy Belated Mother's Day! Happy indeed...thank you for sharing and encouraging all of us. Warm regards with thoughts of you and your family, Love, Kathy
Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel <ckcharlton@aol.com>
- Wednesday, May 12, 2004 1:32 PM CDT

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You touch me everytime I come to this website. I still care. Just a lurker, as you would say!
Michelle Axell <michelle.axell@int287.k12.mn.us>
Robbinsdale, MN - Wednesday, May 12, 2004 11:25 AM CDT

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Hi Alison. Thanks for the encouraging words for Mother's Day. They are a special gift from God to be loved and cherished. I have a new site for you to visit and a child to add to your list to pray for.. They are friends of our's from Northern Ky. and their little boy is in dire need of lots of prayers. He went in for a normal 1 year check up and his head was measuring a little big. They sent him immediately to a neurologist and dignosed him with a brain tumor. It is a type of medulloblastoma - he's in D.C. right now getting a very strong 6 week protocol of chemo. Only a few hospitals in the country actually do this type. Please, please pray for sweet Louie Hentz that this works and he is back home soon with his family. Thank you so much. It's caringbridge.org/ky/louie/index.htm God Bless and hope to see you soon..
Lisa
Lisa Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@centurytel.net>
- Wednesday, May 12, 2004 7:42 AM CDT

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Uhhh, it sounds like so much fun. I feel like I was there with you. My sister Tiffany got her head stuck between bars when she was about 4. We had to call our good friend who happened to be a firefighter to get her head out. What a way to spend mother's day, with your children. Alexandria was there as well, enjoying all the rides with her brothers and, laughing but concerned, for Addison.
We miss you so much and wish we could see you!
Lots of love,
Tracey
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
Wrentham, MA - Monday, May 10, 2004 3:40 PM CDT

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Alison,

Sounds like you had a crazy, yet fun and loving Mothers Day. We often taken for granted these wonderful days that we have with our children (even if it doing what our kids want us to do on our Mothers Day Ha!), until we read stories such as yours. I often think of you, Grant, and the kids. We had just joined DPC when Alexandria became an Angel. I was chatting with Dawn at the choir program and we started talking about CARINGBRIDGE and that is when I found out that you had a site. I read some of your past journal entries, you are such an inspiration. You share Gods Glory every opportunity that you get. That is terrific! Just after I read with tears in my eyes I then keep reading and something you said brings about a smile and laughter. What a talent you have. Thanks for sharing your feelings on Alexandria's site. I hope to see you at church and introduce myself to you. I told Dawn that I'd love to help out at the Golf fundraiser this fall.
Gretchen Woods <gretchenwoods@charter.net>
O'Fallon, MO - Monday, May 10, 2004 1:44 PM CDT

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Had to laugh when I read about Addison getting her head stuck. Kids do get into the silliest predicaments! Made me think of when I was a little girl and got stuck in a set of bed springs, springs that I was told not to jump on!!! Glad you had happy moments on Mother's Day and HAPPY BELATED 12TH ANNIVERSARY.
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Monday, May 10, 2004 1:28 PM CDT

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I just wanted to stop by and wish one of the moms who inspire me most a Happy Mother's Day!! You amaze me!! Even spending the day at Six Flag's!! God not only gave you a gift with Alexandria, but He also gave Alexandria a gift of you. You are a true inspiration.
Jenifer
NJ - Monday, May 10, 2004 12:14 AM CDT

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Hi Alison!

Happy Mother's Day to a mom who is such a wonderful example to so many of how much we are to love these precious children that God entrusts to us. You are a blessing to all! Glad you had a great day yesterday at Six Flags!

Love,
Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Monday, May 10, 2004 11:12 AM CDT

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Your trip to 6 Flags sounds similar to ours last year- $6 funnel cakes and more 2nd hand smoke than a night club- how is that still legal at an amusement park geared toward kids?Christian peed his pants at our Mother's day brunch yesterday- we just put a napkin over the chair and hoped that its next inhabitant had poor vision and absorbent pants. They are so precious and as always your writings remind me to refocus. The big girls are always getting in our bed and I know you would love it if your big girl could do it one more time. If they only didn't kick so much, maybe I would wake up less grumpy and sleep deprived :)! I'm glad you had a good day- I know it's never easy, but your family has made the choice to enjoy life in between the sad times, and I truly believe that is the best memorial of all to your daughter. Take care- Melissa
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
- Monday, May 10, 2004 11:02 AM CDT

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It sounds like the Haddock's had a great day! I'm still a daily "lurker", and a proud one! I think about you all the time and know yesterday must have been hard, but I'm so thrilled that you spend the day together doing wonderful family things!
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Monday, May 10, 2004 9:58 AM CDT

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Happy Mother's Day Alison - Thanks for your journal entry. That was a gift in itself!
God Bless
Lynn
Long Island, NY - Monday, May 10, 2004 9:55 AM CDT

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Oh Alison - I love a fellow sucker! :) We too, were planning on spending Mother's Day at Six Flags, but then my crew woke up w/a stomach bug! I continue to check in on you -- You are an amazing woman, wife and mother. God bless you.............
Tammy Holston <tsholston@bellsouth.net>
Atlanta, GA - Monday, May 10, 2004 6:48 AM CDT

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Alison-

My sweet friend just wanted to say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to an awesome mother!!!! Knowing how hard these anniversaries are you were in my thoughts all day. Thank you for making me open my eyes to what is important in life. Today I took the time to sit on my backyard swing and swing with Katie. As I was reflecting on what a wonderful day today was, in the background I could hear on the radio Micheal W. Smith's song "This is your time". Oh sissy girl you have such a way to remind me you are always right there. Thank you for being a source of strength for me. You have a big part of my heart and have touched me more than you can imagine.

God Bless,

dawn <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Sunday, May 9, 2004 9:11 PM CDT

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Happy Mother's Day, Allison. I know Alexandria was blowing kisses to you from Heaven. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Sunday, May 9, 2004 7:00 PM CDT

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Happy Mothers Day. Thinking of & saying a little prayer for you & your precious little ones both here and in Heaven.
E. Spratt <etspratt@aol.com>
Eureka, MO - Sunday, May 9, 2004 2:52 PM CDT

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Happy Mother's Day to a very special mom. Today may well be one of the most difficult days for you as the world celebrates Mother's Day surrounded by their children and we celebrate knowing one of ours cannot be here - they reside in Heaven.

You are still a very special mom and your angel is showering you with love and kisses. You above all other mothers, have earned the right to be called Mom. You have faced fear, terror, pain and so much suffering for the love of a child. Though our children are not with us in person they are with us in our hearts. You made the ultimate sacrifice and are still left reeling from the pain.

May your heart be filled with love, peace, joy and hope and may the memories of your special, beautiful angel wipe away your tears and comfort you until the day we hold them in our arms again.

With much love and hugs,
Judy

 
Click on the angel to visit my web site:  Catch An Angel

Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Sunday, May 9, 2004 1:33 PM CDT

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Happy Mother's Day Alison! Sending you hugs and peace today.
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Sunday, May 9, 2004 8:52 AM CDT

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Alison,
Dropping in to wish you a wonderful Mother's Day and to let you know I care!
Kathy Haws
T.O., CA - Saturday, May 8, 2004 11:51 PM CDT

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Happy Mother's Day from Molly in NJ.
Molly says to tell you not to do any work!
We are thinking of you. Say hi to Michelle!
Eileen and Molly <FitNJpro@aol.com>
Waldwick, nj - Saturday, May 8, 2004 9:41 AM CDT

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THINKING OF YOU AND THE WONDERFUL EXAMPLE YOU ARE AS A LOVING MOTHER. GOD BLESS YOU! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
CAT
CAT BORKOWSKI <RICHNCAT@OPTONLINE. NET>
- Saturday, May 8, 2004 7:13 AM CDT

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Hey Alison,
Want to wish you a Happy Mother's day tomorrow. I cannot imagine how sweet the day is for you and yet how sad. Miss you all a bunch.
Lots of love,
Tracey
Tracey <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
Wrentham, MA - Saturday, May 8, 2004 7:05 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Happy Mother's Day to the best mommy that Alexandria could have ever had!! I am sure Mother's Day is a difficult day for you and understandably so. Know that I am praying for you to feel peace and comfort this Sunday. May you relish in the love and joy of all of your children, as they give you hugs and kisses and many precious memories for years to come. Blessings to you always and thank you for the wonderful message you left on Khalita's site.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Friday, May 7, 2004 10:08 PM CDT

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Mothers Day Prayer

I Pray for you that on this special Mothers day,
God fills your heart in a truley beautiful way.
And may, He in His reach from heaven above,
Flow the wonderful family spirit, of His love.
I pray He grant, truley sweet and Angelic care,
That you may know, He is, always there.
I pray within God's great vast Love for you
In life, daily onward, In all that you may do,
You feel His love, His strength, His peace,
This Mothers Day blesses a spiritual release.

Have a Blessed Mothers Day

Chris Ullrich - Bella's Grammy <c_ullrich@msn.com, www.caringbridge.com/page/isabellaledesma>
- Thursday, May 6, 2004 11:47 AM CDT

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Hi Alison!

I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and praying for, and always am. That is great news about your business booming! How exciting! I am happy for you. Tell Grant and the kids Hi from us all over here at the Rhines.

Love,
Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, May 6, 2004 10:47 AM CDT

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Hi Alison,
A quick hello to let you know I was here and thinking of you.
Mary
Manchester , MO - Wednesday, May 5, 2004 11:12 AM CDT

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**Who still comes here?** I DO !!! I love checking your web site!! Even though I don't know you or Alexandria, I continue to follow you through and through. Alexandria touched the lives of so many and conitues to do so through her family and God.
Nicole H <nhinnebusch@comcast.net>
- Wednesday, May 5, 2004 0:48 AM CDT

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To the Haddock family. I came across Alexandria's site through another caringbridge page and started to read your inspiring loving tributes to your precious daughter. You are an inspiration and Alexandria has touched so many lives; mere strangers with her courage and passion for her life. What a priveledge to have known her if only in this way. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Rose
Toronto, Ontario Canada - Tuesday, May 4, 2004 10:11 PM CDT

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i check in often, but don't sign that often.. i was originally drawn to your site by alexandria's name.. she has the same name as my childrens best friend, and is the same age .. then i was captured by the beautiful face and her mom's inspiring words.. even tho we've never met i feel compelled to come by to check on you.. and occasionally write to let you know that you'll never be forgotten.. god bless.
M Burns
Albany, NY - Tuesday, May 4, 2004 6:13 PM CDT

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Alison,
I am thrilled to hear about your design plans being accepted over 8 others. I know how much you love your work and how you thrive on it. No wonder you haven't called me this week! Just kidding!

Judy V
- Tuesday, May 4, 2004 5:39 PM CDT

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Alison,
Congratulations on your professional career. Great news!
Think of you and family often.
Jane Sheats <djarsheats@sbsglobal.net>
- Tuesday, May 4, 2004 5:29 PM CDT

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Allison, Just want to let you know that I continue to check on you and your family. You and Grant are such AWESOME parents! Congrats on the success of your business adventure. I'm really excited for you. I think of your family and sweet Alexandria often. You are all always in my heart. Much Love,Shannon from Children's
Shannon Koskela <shannolk@bjc.org>
O Fallon, Mo - Tuesday, May 4, 2004 4:27 PM CDT

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Thinking of you & your family.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Tuesday, May 4, 2004 4:16 PM CDT

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Alsion...I dont' know you and you don't know me, but I hav efound your site through a friends caring bridge site. She lost her daughter this past summer, and it has effected me so much. I now visit other caring bridge sites, so I can pray for the kids who are suffering with these horrible diseases, and the families who have so sadly, and prematurely lost their precious children.
I know I hold my little boy tighter each day, and I look at each day as a special gift with him. I want to cry when I read some of these sites, and I feel your pain. I know the pain of great loss, and it is something you never 'get over'...with time it becomes more bearable, but time does not stop those dark moments from coming.
Just know your angel is up in heaven dancing with the angels pain free, and forever innocent.
"The rainbow of God's promises shines above the trials and storms of live"
I pray for your continued success in bussiness...it is a great distraction for you right now.
My prayers will be with you tonight.

Christine <enchantedgypsy@aol.com>
- Monday, May 3, 2004 10:31 PM CDT

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Stopping by to say hello and let you know that your family is always in my prayers. I'm so happy to read that you are having such great success with your business. God Bless,
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Monday, May 3, 2004 7:50 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,
I'm so glad your career is skyrocketing. That's awesome. I, too, "lurk" every day to see how you and your family are managing. I think my mouse goes automatically to your website every time I get on line. Through your journals you do so much for others; I wish we could do something for you. You help us to see what is really important and what is not. Thank you so much.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO - Monday, May 3, 2004 7:18 AM CDT

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Alison,

Just read your latest posting and it sounds like things are going very well for you career-wise! That is such good news - I am glad things have finally come around for you in that area. You are just too talented not to be busy helping others!

I thought about you on your birthday - I hope it was a good one this year. I'm glad Nancy was able to lunch with you. That's the best way to spend a birthday, with close friends that care about you.

Take care of those kids and your busy husband!
Love,
Monica

PS Esp take care of yourself. Here's my motherly advice sneaking in, "You can't be your best for your family if you don't take care of yourself too.." Hang in there!
Monica Lummus <mblummus@charter.net>
Eureka, MO - Sunday, May 2, 2004 10:37 PM CDT

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Dear Mrs. Haddock,

Congradulations on your job!!! That is awesome!!!! I have been praying for you and your family. I do not know what it is like to lose a child, seeing how I am too young to have any of my own! but I do know what it is like to lose a close friends to cancer. I cannot relate, of course, because the pain and grief of losing a family member is much greater than that of a friend. I just wanted to let you know that I care and love you! I want to share a few verses with you. "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philppians 4:5,6. Also, "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount upon wings as eagles, and they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint." -Isaih 40:31
These verses always helped when I was going through rough times. I pray that they help you, too. I love you! I will continue to pray for you!

Kailie Rhines <loolieb@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, May 2, 2004 7:18 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Wow! That is absolutely wonderful about the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra Showroom job. Awesome, and congratulations as well. I just want to say...."you sound so good in your journal entries". I know your grief and pain is still abundant in your heart (and always will be), but you are such and inspiration, and I am so happy to hear the love of life in your entries. May God continue to lead you and your family as you set such a wonderful example of Christian love and healing to so many.

Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Sunday, May 2, 2004 2:48 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,

I haven't posted in quite awhile. I just wanted to let you know how much I have learned through your journal entries and the story of your life. You are so amazing, your courage to face every day with love and light. I actually come here for spitirual enlightenment and receive it every time. So, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to post your entries and all the updates. It means so much to all of us who come here. And congratualtions on your good news about your interior design business. You so deserve it!
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Sunday, May 2, 2004 12:42 AM CDT

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I am so happy about work. I am thinking about you everyday. Brett wants Hunter and Hayden to go outside and play baseball.
Lots of Love,
Tracey
Tracey <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, May 2, 2004 10:01 AM CDT

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ANGEL ALEXANDRIA, I DON'T SIGN IN BUT I AM HERE EVERY DAY CHECKING ON YOUR FAMILY. I STILL FIND IT SO HARD TO BAKE A COOKIE OR A CAKE WITHOUT YOU. YOUR LITTLE SISTER, ADDISON,
IS JUST GETTING OLD ENOUGH TO HELP. SHE LOVE TO BAKE JUST LIKE YOU DID. I KNOW YOU ARE ALWAYS BY OUR SIDE WHEN WE DO OUR BAKING. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. LOVE, MEMAW
NOEL <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO USA - Saturday, May 1, 2004 11:50 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I still check on you once or twice a week. I still care very much about your family and how all of you are doing. The picture of Alexandria with the beautiful ruby red lips on the front page is one of my favorites. I look at how beautiful she was and my heart just aches for you and the loss you must endure. That was only her outer beauty. I only know of her inner beauty, by all that you have written about her and shared with those that did not have the priviledge of knowing her personally. Oh, how I wish I had had that priviledge! Her site, through you, has impacted and blessed so many of us. I pray that in some way that comforts you and Grant.

Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Saturday, May 1, 2004 7:16 PM CDT

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Alison,
I was just checking in, I hope you all are having a nice weekend.

Connie Gericke <Winninglineup1@cs.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Saturday, May 1, 2004 7:14 PM CDT

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I'm still checking in daily to find out how you all are doing. Thinking about Alexandria still makes me smile!
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Saturday, May 1, 2004 9:48 AM CDT

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A big hello from Toronto, Canada! You are truly an amazing family who I find very inspirational. What a remarkable girl that Angel Alexandria. Thoughts and prayers for your family always.
Rose
Toronto, ON Canada - Saturday, May 1, 2004 8:52 AM CDT

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HI,
Guess I am one of the many who check in to see how you are doing!You are all in my thoughts and prayers!
Many hugs,
Lynn <candlys@aol.com>
www.caringbridge.com/pa/jessiespage, PA - Saturday, May 1, 2004 8:22 AM CDT

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I check often but never sign, alex. influences me often, but your words allison, often inspire me too, your words mean so much to a young person!!
J
- Saturday, May 1, 2004 4:04 AM CDT

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I check in on you often, but don't always sign in. I will do my best to quit lurking! Happy belated birthday! We continue to lift your family up in our prayers. May God bless you, keep you, & give you peace.
The Pyle Family <stlpylefamily@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, May 1, 2004 3:04 AM CDT

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I am always inspired by your entries. I check often, but I usually have only a few minutes to take a quick peek. I am Debbie H.'s sister, so I always look in on Matthew and Alexandria together. Like you, I am a mother of four. My two boys are sandwiched between two sisters just like your family. I hope that I can come close to being as good a mom as you are to your children. Bless you!

Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, Mo - Friday, April 30, 2004 10:35 PM CDT

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You make us better parents...
Barbara
Danvers, ma USA - Friday, April 30, 2004 9:22 PM CDT

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Alison:

I have told you before how Alexandria's short life changed mine. I think of her often and remind myself why God placed her and your family in my life.

God has blessed your family with a light that shines for all of us. Please know that - even in the dark when you cannot see it.
Kim Eplett <knadn_eh@msn.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Friday, April 30, 2004 9:12 PM CDT

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Just checking on all of you. I check your web site at least once a week.. Alison, you continue to inspire me. We continue to pray for you and your family. Happy belated birthday and please tell Nancy Cole I said hi. I am so glad you are good friends!
Nancy Dalton <nancyd106@msn.com>
wildwood, mo - Friday, April 30, 2004 6:17 PM CDT

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Alison and family,
I periodically check on you all. You are an inspiration to me.
Beverly Rust
Cape Girardeau , MO USA - Friday, April 30, 2004 3:28 PM CDT

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Alison,
As usual, checking in to see if you posted an update. I continue to follow your journey.
Thinking of you and your family.
Mary
Manchester , MO - Friday, April 30, 2004 2:03 PM CDT

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Alison, I check on your daughter's site on a regular basis, usually every day or so. I am amazed at your strength, your unfaltering faith, and your unending love. You are such an inspiration to me. After all you have been through, you greet each day with thankfulness. I look at you and secretly wish that I could have some of the things you enjoy in your life. I wish that I could have found the soul mate, you have found in your husband. I wish that I could have had a family, could have heard a child call me 'Mommy'. Selfish reasons, I know. However, I am most sincere in my interest in your continuing journey. You give me reason to look at my life and try to be thankful for what I do have. Thank you for being so honest and keeping this web site open. What a tribute to your precious daugher, Alexandria. May God continue to hold you and your family in the palm of his hand.
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, ON Canada - Friday, April 30, 2004 9:32 AM CDT

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Like so many others I visit often and sign infrequently. We all come to get our batteries recharged and leave little in return. That's definitely not the way this thing was supposed to work! We come because we sincerely care about you and your family. We cannot imagine the pain and heartache you are enduring and how you can manage it so gracefully. We will never forget your Alexandria. May the Lord bless you and keep you,
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Friday, April 30, 2004 8:39 AM CDT

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Alison, I visit your site everyday not only to check on you and your family but also to read your written words that always have such an impact on me and also bring me comfort at difficult times.
God bless you.

Suzanne (Lauren's mom) <suzanne_davisson@yahoo.com>
OFallon, MO - Friday, April 30, 2004 8:27 AM CDT

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Checking in on your beautiful family.
Love,
Jenni
Jenni Burford <jennib@cox-internet.com>
Bentonville, AR - Thursday, April 29, 2004 11:25 PM CDT

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Alison: I, too, check almost daily, although I post infrequently. Do know that you, Grant, your family, and our special angels remain in my thoughts and prayers. Such a beautiful smile.
Peggy S.
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 11:13 PM CDT

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I check on you daily. I am one of those who never leave a message, just want to know how you are, and that you are okay... I will never have the opportunity to meet you personally, but in many ways feel I know you as well as my next door neighbors. My prayer is that God and Alexandria reach down and give you a great big hug. It may be just in the form of a beatiful day, a butterfly, a much needed hug from a friend.... You are loved by so many!!

"Be strong and of good courage. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord, your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Love,
Your computer friend in Alabama
Linda Watson

Linda Watson <ltwats7@msn.com>
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 9:11 PM CDT

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I am here each and every day. Please know that I care about you and your family. I will continue to check so please continue to post.
Ruth Trombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
Westerly, RI - Thursday, April 29, 2004 7:59 PM CDT

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You know I'm one of the many faithful followers.... and I'm signing in so you don't fuss at me :o) Keeping you in my prayers.....talk to ya soon cybasista
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Thursday, April 29, 2004 5:54 PM CDT

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Just wanted to drop you a line to let you know how blessed I feel to have you as my friend. My life has been changed so much in the last year and I owe it all to you and our "little pink wing-tipped angel". I'm a better wife, mother, christian. Thank you for being such a terrific friend. I hope you know how much you are truly loved by all. Talk to you soon (probably even tonight LOL!! now that you know what that means). Hee Hee Love you lots.

Sisters in Christ,


dawn <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Thursday, April 29, 2004 5:46 PM CDT

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Hi,
I'm just saying hi. You don't know me, but I come to the website for a reason unbeknownst to me. Your writing is so eloquent. Thanks for continuing to journal.
Allison <sweetdreamer1989@yahoo.com>
Columbia, MO - Thursday, April 29, 2004 5:44 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,
I am still drawn here daily. It is now part of me, my routine to check this site at least once a day if not more.
My love and prayers are always with you and your family.
Gwen Scott <moscotts@aol.com>
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 4:21 PM CDT

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I too, am one of those people that is drawn back to your website on an on-going basis. Your faith in God and his plan for us all is unbelievable. Because of you and your daughter and this website, I feel so much closer to God. I hope that someday you will find it in you to actually write a book about the beautiful life of your daughter. You have touched so many people by your words and encouragement.
Karen Holterman <karenh@mosers.org>
Jefferson City, MO USA - Thursday, April 29, 2004 4:18 PM CDT

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miss you so much!
Love,
The Mazur's
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 2:59 PM CDT

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Hi Alison and Grant,
I check in on this site daily and wanted you to know you are all in my prayers. All of these Caringbridge sites have had such an impact on my life - I'm quite addicted! But Alexandria's site is what started it all for me and I will be eternally grateful for the wisdom, power and love I get each and every time I visit. Thank you for sharing and enlightening my life with your words.
Sincerely, Lisa
Lisa Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@centurytel.net>
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 1:04 PM CDT

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I am continuing to think of you and your family. God bless you all
Mary Ulrich
MI - Thursday, April 29, 2004 12:51 AM CDT

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Just signing in to let you know I care and I will keep you in my prayers.
Susan
Pittsgrove, NJ - Thursday, April 29, 2004 12:51 AM CDT

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Alison,
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Your daughter was amazing and she continues to touch many lives.
Tons of Love

Laura <ELCgrey1216@aol.com>
Richmond, VA USA` - Thursday, April 29, 2004 11:23 AM CDT

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Alison,

Just wanted to let you know that you and your family our in our thoughts and prayers.

Love
Tanya
Tanya <tanya@accessus.net>
St. Louis, MO - Thursday, April 29, 2004 11:16 AM CDT

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Alison,

I check in everyday. We are always thinking of you and your family.

Kristen <kbbly@aol.com>
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 11:16 AM CDT

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Checking in from Pittsburgh, PA! God Bless!!

Chris A.
Pittsburgh, PA - Thursday, April 29, 2004 10:53 AM CDT

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Alison,
I check into the website severalt times each week. I always leave more enlightened by the strength of your faith. Thank you for continuing to update us all ... you are always in our thoughts and prayers.
Nina Hudson <nina.hudson@mci.com>
Manchester, MO 63021 - Thursday, April 29, 2004 10:25 AM CDT

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I have been checking Alexandria's website daily for what seems like forever. I continue to pray for your family. We all care.
Josie West <josie_mae17@hotmail.com>
Buffalo, MN USA - Thursday, April 29, 2004 10:01 AM CDT

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I am here everyday to support you.
Judy V
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 9:53 AM CDT

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Alison,
I hve come to your site many times...prayed while your beautiful daughter was an angel on earth, and now while she graces the Heavens. You are an inspiration. You have a testimony unlike any other. You are honest, and speak from your heart. Your daughter's smile, those eyes, they speak volumes. Even in her baby pictures. You both have touched my heart, and I keep your family in my thoughts and prayers regularly, although I don't sign the guestbook regularly.
The prayer you posted today is just what I needed to hear today. You truly minister to others and although I dont' know you, I have such admiration and respect for you. You have gone through the unimaginable...a place none of us mothers would ever want to be...yet, you don't blame our Lord, you praise HIM for His many blessings, and for providing a beautiful heaven for Alexandria to be. I only pray that I would be that strong.
I've met a lot of inspirational Christians, some famous,some not, and you are one of my favorites. Your Alexandria had the same testimony. Amoungst the unthinkable, she remained faithful to God and made those around her happy.
Thank you for sharing your life and encouraging us to not sit still while others face the unthinkable. I continue to pray that cures will be found so that this world can keep the Alexandria's of this world here .
Jenifer
NJ - Thursday, April 29, 2004 9:17 AM CDT

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Dear Alison and family,
The prayer is inspirational. I believe that is why people are drawn to this website. I am perpetually amazed at your strength, faith, love, forgiveness, and understanding. I think I selfishly check in when I am feeling defeated about something. You, Alexandria and your family keep me in line and help me to keep my life in perspective. Thank you for that lesson. I think of you all often and I suppose we will never understand God's plan until we meet. Love to you and your family.
Jane Sheats <djarsheats@sbcglobal.net>
Springboro, OH - Thursday, April 29, 2004 8:50 AM CDT

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Keeping you & yours in my thoughts & prayers.
Carl
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 8:40 AM CDT

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I check your site everyday but fail to leave you a message. Your words mean so much to me and I continue to keep your family in my thoughts daily. Let me know when you need an ice cream fix....
Jeanine Riendeau <jrien0512@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Thursday, April 29, 2004 8:35 AM CDT

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Hello Alison,
Thank you for continuing Alexandria's site! She is an inspiration to me, and I check her site daily. Please know that I continually pray for your family, and that we will all see His great plan in the end! I can only imagine what it will be like!!! Take care and know that I am here often even though I do not sign. Thank you for all you do!
Laura Foster <laura.foster@mnsu.edu>
Mankato, MN - Thursday, April 29, 2004 8:23 AM CDT

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Alison, I too, check your site often and fail to sign, mostly because I still feel as though I am intruding on the most private and special parts of your life. I can't explain why I am drawn here, but I am. Your faith in God truly amazes me. Perhaps one must be faced with a catastrophic illness to find that. I find it hard to understand how an all-loving God would allow these innocent children and their loving families to suffer so when there are murders and rapists and terrorists who are
doing their damage daily. I am thankful you are able to find peace with Him, I just don't think I could. You are truly an inspiration and maybe that is why I continue to follow your most difficult journey. I hope you are not offended by what I am saying, that is surely not my intent, I merely wanted you to know why I find it compelling to visit here.
Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester , MO - Thursday, April 29, 2004 7:54 AM CDT

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I'm here, I care.... I've not been very good about signing in, though.
Karin, Anna's Mom <Olssonka@yahoo.com>
Fenton, MO - Thursday, April 29, 2004 7:51 AM CDT

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Allison,

Your little angel has touched so many lives. There are way to amny children out there that are suffering. How I pray everyday that it didn't have to be this way. No parent should have to loose a child that way. How I feel for you and in some ways feel your pain I pray everyday that when I marry next year & have children that is truly a pain I never have to endure.

Stay stong and know that we are all here for you.

If you need anything let me know

Karen
Karen Viteritti <kviteritti@yahoo.com>
Florham Park, NJ USA - Thursday, April 29, 2004 7:39 AM CDT

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Still checking in........ Your beautiful daughter has touched many.
Tammy Holston <tsholston@bellsouth.net>
Roswell, GA - Thursday, April 29, 2004 6:06 AM CDT

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I DON'T ALWAYS LEAVE A MESSAGE BUT I AM ALWAYS HERE.
ALEXANDRIA IS ONLY A BREATH AWAY. THERE WILL BE NO END TO MY MEMORIES AND LOVE FOR HER.
NOEL <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO USA - Thursday, April 29, 2004 4:36 AM CDT

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Just thinking of you! I like the prayer...have a great day!
Cathy Yanez
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 3:28 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,

I just thought you could use a hug today so from my heart to yours ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Alison)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))).
Love and hugs
Judy
 
Click on the angel to visit my web site:  Catch An Angel

Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, April 29, 2004 2:21 AM CDT

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Dear Allison,

I don't know you and you don't know me and yet I am drawn to your site over and over again. To cry with you, to pray for you and your family, to rejoice with you over the small things and the large. Know that in all this, you are not alone. That most importantly even through all the pain, God has always been at your side. Sometimes there are no words to explain the "why". Its so easy to say the standard answers and sayings, to gloss over the fact that you still grieve. But I do know this, our Savior has you wrapped in His arms. In the darkest depths of night, He is the only thing left to cling to.

I pray for continued strength & perseverance for you and your family.

In Christ,

Michelle
Michelle <revival-life@valornet.com>
Broken Arrow, OK - Thursday, April 29, 2004 2:12 AM CDT

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Stopping in to see how you all are doing. The pictures are so precious!
Kathy H.
TO, CA - Wednesday, April 28, 2004 10:22 PM CDT

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What lovely pictures you have posted of Alexandria and yourselves. You always say the most moving things in your posts.

I hope you didn't get too much snow! It's in the 70's here in PA.
Nicole H <nhinnebusch@comcast.net>
- Sunday, April 25, 2004 3:20 PM CDT

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Happy belated birthday Alison! As always I am moved by your words. God bless you!
Cat
Cat Borkowski <RICHNCAT@OPTONLINE.NET>
NY - Friday, April 23, 2004 7:46 PM CDT

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Happy Belated Birthday Alison! You are one amazing woman. Life has dealt you a hand with much heartache and through it all you are able to hold tight to your faith and continue to appreciate and enjoy life. May you continue on the upward battle and know others are encouraging you forward.
Mary Lou Thomson <mlt.csi@hay.net>
Exeter, ON Canada - Thursday, April 22, 2004 10:33 AM CDT

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Hello! Interesting story about caringbridge...I enjoyed the pictures too! - Thanks for sharing them. Happy Birthday Alison!
Cathy Yanez
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, April 20, 2004 11:33 PM CDT

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Alison,
Thank you so much for sharing the beginning of Caringbridge with everyone. I had no idea that it started in such a way. I had a 27 week premie, and yes, it would have been great to have a Caringbridge site, during the 10 1/2 weeks he was hospitalized. That was 13 years ago, and I do not know if Caringbridge existed back then, but if it did, I had no knowledge of it. Happy Birthday a bit late. I am glad to read that you do have some good days, and even great days. Alexandria is not forgotten by this person, and I know many others feel the same way. She taught all of us a lot.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Tuesday, April 20, 2004 11:17 PM CDT

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Happy belated birthday. Please know that you are dear to my heart and I continue to pray for you continually. Blessings and love in Christ. I will check back in on you as soon as I can.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, April 19, 2004 4:41 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,You don't know me....but I found your site through a good friends caring bridge site. She lost her daughter this summer also to this horrible beast cancer. I was reading some of your journal entries and they moved me to tears. You write so eloquently. I can't imagine the pain you live with daily (even through the good days). I know how my friends daughters passing effected me...it changed me. I think of her every day. I hold my son tighter, i cherish each moment. You never know what tomorrow brings..
Happy belated birthday! Mines is the 19th of this month, and I will also have the dreaded 35 candles on the cake.
My prayers will be with you.
Christine <enchantedgypsy28@aol.com>
- Saturday, April 17, 2004 8:58 PM CDT

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Alison~
Just checking in to say hello. Happy belated birthday--I'm so glad it was a nice day for you--there's nothing like shopping at Costco!! I'm just lovin' Sissy's toothy-grin photo. Adorable.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Saturday, April 17, 2004 10:39 AM CDT

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Oh my dearest friend-

Your last journal entry (should I say update) would make Donald Trump sooooo proud!!! YOU GO GIRL!!! To bad we couldn't create an island like in Jurassic Park and send all the cancer to it. You have such a way with words and yet do not have journalism degree. WOW!! No wonder Alexandria's site has many has as many hits as it does. Thank you so much for the history of Caringbridge. With as many long talks we have had, that is one we never touched. A bridge I am greatful got started!!! Talk to you soon.

God Bless,

dawn <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Friday, April 16, 2004 11:14 PM CDT

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Your entry at Easter made me cry - I couldn't finish reading it :( I'm glad that you update Alexandria's page and vent out what you're feeling. I think its healthy. I also love the pictures of her - she was such an adorable baby - maybe that is why God took her home so soon.

I admire your faith, strength and courage, I truly do.



Elizabeth
Bowie, MD USA - Friday, April 16, 2004 4:01 PM CDT

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Alison,
Happy Belated Birthday!!! I'm sorry I missed it, it didn't know when it was. I often stop by Alexandria's website, at least twice a day, but seldom sign the guestbook....sorry. Just trying to get through day-by-day. I would just as soon skip my birthday this year, also a milestone, but many more years.

We REALLY need to get together soon,
Love
Debbie Hallemeier <Debbie54RN@aol.com <br><a href = "http://www.caringbridge.com/mo/matthall"><br><font color = blue><b> Matthew's Website</b></font color></br></a href> >
O' Fallon, MO - Friday, April 16, 2004 3:08 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I visit Alexandria's site very often...nearly everyday. I've only signed in maybe once or twice in the past, I'm not sure why...I have been a religious follower of Alexandria's Angels and I always find myself looking forward to your next update. Your updates are so thought provoking.. and definitely stirs up a whole lot of emotions. I like that. Through your updates, I truly feel like I am taking a little journey through your heart and your mind..as if I am given a glance of how you are feeling, grieving the loss of your precious daughter. I have no kids (not yet anyway) so I don't know what it's like to lose one...but I can see just how painful it is for you and your family. I can honestly say that I can maybe understand a teeny bit on how you are feeling because I too lost my mother to cancer and my heart still feels like it is broken into a gazillion pieces and nothing can ever piece those little bits back together. What I'm trying to say is that, I am thankful for your willingness and courage to continue with your updates despite Alexandria's passing...thank you for sharing your life, your family's lives with us, thank you for making me laugh and cry or both and the same time just by reading your journals...You are an amazing woman and one amazing mother. Alexandria would be so proud of you.

~*~*Girlie's Page*~*~



Love & prayers,
XOXOXOXOXOXO
Janice <janiceliew1981@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Thursday, April 15, 2004 6:25 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Moved beyond words....praying for you to have peace and comfort on this earth without your precious Alexandria.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Wednesday, April 14, 2004 5:28 PM CDT

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Allison,
Words are not adequate to describe my feelings for you and your family. I followed your journey closely before Sissy went to be an angel, however, I sometimes come by to check and see how the family is coping in the year since. Please know you are close to my heart and my admiration foe you grows each time I visit.
Peace to you.
Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester , MO - Wednesday, April 14, 2004 11:49 AM CDT

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ALISON-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!! Hoping you have a WONDERFUL day! Thank you for being such an AWESOME mom, friend, wife and inspiration for sooo many. I came across this saying the other day and it holds so true.

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Thanks for being that "real friend".

God Bless you,


dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, April 14, 2004 10:26 AM CDT

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Well Allison, thank you again for sharing your heart. I try to put myself in your shoes and I when I get there, I shutter. You are so incredibly strong. I admire you so. I know you must not think you are strong but you are and you are a testiment of faith and I thank you so very much for that.

Thank you for letting me start my day with a good cry...again.!!


Kellie McClendon
Wentzville, mo - Wednesday, April 14, 2004 8:26 AM CDT

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I too am sitting here with tears flowing down my face. Your words could be my own - in fact when I lost my daughter Jennifer to this horrible monster we call cancer, I said the same things. My heart breaks for you and while we know we will hold our daughters in our arms again one day, they are awfully empty here today. May God bless and comfort you.

Love and prayers
Judy
 
Click on the angel to visit my web site:  Catch An Angel

Judy Crawford <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, April 14, 2004 4:26 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I sit here with tears streaming down my face, trying to put myself in your shoes for just a fleeting moment. You are the strongest, most wonderful mother I know. Alexandria has to be so proud of you. You are not afraid to let others know your feelings, and in doing so you have touched so many hearts. I check in almost everyday to see how you are and I pray for your family. I can only hope that you realize the difference you have made in my life and the lives of so many others by sharing your heartfelt feelings. God blessed you with Alexandria, but also blessed Alexandria with the best parents in the world!
Debbie Rowland <lttjr7@aol.com>
Wildwood, Mo - Tuesday, April 13, 2004 10:27 PM CDT

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Hello,
Just stopping in to let you know that your in our thought's, and prayer's.
sending lot's of prayer's your way.+++++++++++
Beautiful picture of your daughter.
Thank you for your friendship.
Love,LaKota and her mom,Debbie.
God be with you.
~*~ LaKota's Page ~*~

http://www.carinbridge.org/mn/laplafcan <sdl@astound.net>
St.Cloud, MN - Monday, April 12, 2004 10:30 PM CDT

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I haven't signed in for a while and I just wanted to let you know that you are still continually in my thoughts and prayers. I love you and cherish your friendship. I continue to lift you up to the Lord for comfort and strength. Please don't hesitate to let me know if you need me for anything at all. I'm here.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, April 12, 2004 5:22 PM CDT

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Alison,
Just read your journal entry and once again, you put things in perfect perspective for me. Just when I was feeling down and depressed, I'm reminded oh so quickly that I have nothing to feel depressed about, compared to what you and your famly have been through. I feel the ache in your heart,I hear the pain in your voice, the void that is there for missing Alexandria. You make things so clear for others. Cherish each and every moment NOW, for we never know when our lives are going to change forever.
I hope you and your family had a Happy Easter. Thinking of you always.
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Monday, April 12, 2004 2:34 PM CDT

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A beautiful entry. I think about you and Alexandria often.
Grace and Peace,

Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Monday, April 12, 2004 11:18 AM CDT

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Alison, Not having your writing talent I cannot adequately describe what your latest entry did to me. I cannot bear to think of your hurt and sorrow. I know that I hurt and I cry when I read your entries, but when I turn the computer off I can go about my day. Your days are forever changed. I pray that they somehow get easier for you and your family. Keeping you in our prayers,
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Monday, April 12, 2004 10:59 AM CDT

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DEAR ALISON, YOUR WEB SIGHT UPDATE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. I SIT HERE WITH TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE WITH SO MANY OF THE SAME FEELING THAT YOU HAVE EXPRESSED.
ALEXANDRIA, JUST A BREATH AWAY FROM WHERE YOU ARE. YOUR LOSS IS A WOUND THAT WILL NEVER HEAL. I LOVE YOU, MEMAW
MEMAW <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO USA - Monday, April 12, 2004 10:32 AM CDT

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Once again, your entry moves me to tears - what a beautiful poem and such a touching letter to your beautiful daughter. Praying for God's peace to be with you all!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, April 12, 2004 9:06 AM CDT

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Hi Alison,
Happy Easter to you, Grant and the kids. My thoughts and prayers are with you on this special holiday. I can't believe Hunter is nine! I hope you are keeping a record of his imaginative stories, because I am sure he is going to be the writer of some fantastic screenplays, and we will all say that we knew him when he was young. What an imagination!
Tell him a belated Happy Birthday.
Love,
Ms. Pam

Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO - Sunday, April 11, 2004 8:23 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today...Wishing you a blessed Easter.

Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Sunday, April 11, 2004 10:33 AM CDT

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Happy Easter Alison, Grant and Kids! I know our girls are dressed in their very best dresses and running, laughing and searching for Easter Eggs in the most beautiful garden in all the Heavens. Sending my prayers to you all today. Happy Easter!
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Sunday, April 11, 2004 10:30 AM CDT

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HAPPY EASTER ANGEL ALEXANDRIA, I MISS YOU SO MUCH.
MEMAW <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO USA - Sunday, April 11, 2004 3:27 AM CDT

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Thinking of you this Easter, Love everyone at Post Pals



Kat <kat@postpals.co.uk>
- Saturday, April 10, 2004 6:01 PM CDT

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Hi Grant and Alison...I have been thinking of you and wanted to check in. You have such a special GIFT in knowing how to share your thoughts and to help those understand what TRUE faith is all about. I love picturing your family at Destin...what a beautiful place! Love and prayers to you all.
Anne Merten <amerten@msn.com>
Westeville, OH USA - Saturday, April 10, 2004 7:45 AM CDT

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Welcome back Haddock family. Hope you have a good day. Praying for you, as always!!!
Kellie McClendon <ckmcclendon@yahoo.com>
- Friday, April 9, 2004 8:46 AM CDT

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Welcome back! As I read your entry I wondered what my reaction would be, if when having a similar soccer mom converstation, one of the moms told me of her child in heaven. Before knowing Grant (and your family through this site), I would have felt uncomfortable and terribly sad for that mother and at a total loss for words. However, now I hope that I would have the courage to extend my heart and friendship to her. Two more things that I thank Alexandria for...better understanding and compassion for people. You have an amazing family (on earth and in heaven)- thank you for continuing to share with us.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Thursday, April 8, 2004 8:39 PM CDT

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Glad you made it home safely. Sounds like a nice time. Take care.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Thursday, April 8, 2004 4:51 PM CDT

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Hello Haddock Family, Just checking in on you again. Glad to know you enjoyed your vacation. Destin is one of our favorites too. We continue to pray for your family & wish you a blessed Easter weekend.
The Pyle Family
Beth Pyle <stlpylefamily@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, April 8, 2004 12:29 AM CDT

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Alison,
Just recently I had the same experience, it was the first time I had not meantioned Jacob, when I meantioned my other children. I was speaking to someone and just didn't want to have to explain everything. It is bad enough my daughter who is 5 seems compelled to tell anyone who will listen, her brother died. It is her way of working through it I know, but it makes a very awkward situation. Especially when it is the grocery clerk. I did feel guilty too, but I think we just do what we need to do at the time. It is such a hard question to answer, because I could talk about Jacob all day, but it is just the thought of what those people will say. I really do not know how to react to them most of the time. It is much easier when people already know. Anyway after rambling on I just wanted you to know your not alone.
Love,
Lisa Jacob's mommy forever
Lisa Mosley <paulmosley@juno.com>
- Wednesday, April 7, 2004 10:24 PM CDT

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Alison,
So glad to see you're back-I've been checking daily. Sounds like you had a restful time with Stephanie and group. Tell mom HI-I miss seeing her when I'm in Cape.
Love and continued prayers from Arkansas,
Jenni
Jenni Burford <jennib@cox-internet.com>
Bentonville, AR - Wednesday, April 7, 2004 9:50 PM CDT

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Alison, any time you want to 'run away' to the beach, count me in!!!! There are some days that a deserted island sounds great to me! :) We'll get that lunch in real soon! (think we could work in the beach too?!?!!?) God bless!
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Wednesday, April 7, 2004 2:59 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks!

We are glad you had so much fun on your vacation. We think of you always and pray just as much. You are very special to us.

Love,
John & Johnelle <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, April 7, 2004 12:41 AM CDT

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Alison,
I'm so happy to hear about your great vacation. I'm sure it was wonderful just being able to get away from here for a short time. My heart hurt for you when you lost Alexandria, I would read your journal entries and just cry through the entire thing. Being a mother myself I couldn't image having to deal with my child leaving this earth. I'm sure your faith is what pulled you through, it's amazing what a strong christian faith can do for you. It seems strange, I'm 40 years old and I have just experienced the loss of a loved one for the first time. I lost my grandmother three weeks ago. She was like a second mother to me. I was with her in the last few hours of her life and her eyes were so bright and blue. She kept asking me if I could feel him, she said, "he has his arms around me!". I just couldn't stop crying, I was so happy for her, but didn't want her to leave me. I felt selfish, I just kept rubbing her soft hands and remembering all the wonderful times I had with her. Apart of me just wanted to go with her, because I could tell by her beautiful eyes what ever it was she was seeing was the most wonderful thing we could ever imagne. By the look in her eyes it did strenghten my faith that much more. She kept telling me her body was old and tired and she was so ready to move on. Now as I try to heal and go on with my life, it's the silly things that make me cry. When I was a little girl she would always take the black jelly beans out of my easter basket because those were her favorite. Monday I went to Walgreens and saw a bag full of black jelly beans, I started crying and couldn't stop. People started to stare at me and I had to leave. When I got in the car and gained control again, I couldn't believe how silly I felt. Ok, I was crying over black jelly beans!!! I'm sure you have had so many of these moments. I will keep praying for you and your family.
Connie Gericke <Winninglineup1@cs.com>
O'fallon, - Wednesday, April 7, 2004 9:09 AM CDT

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So many do care! Thinking of you and lifting you up in prayer........
Tammy <tsholston@aol.com>
Roswell, GA - Wednesday, April 7, 2004 8:22 AM CDT

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Oh boy Alison....... :o(
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Wednesday, April 7, 2004 7:52 AM CDT

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It's good you could relax and enjoy the beach! Our thoughts and prayers are with you.


Stokes family <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Wednesday, April 7, 2004 6:49 AM CDT

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I am sorry you will not be coming back.....

I have read so many of your posts about your family and Alexadria. I hope you find the perfect home and that you will all be safe. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Much love, many hugs and lots of prayers,
Nicole Hinnebusch
Nicole Hinnebusch <nhinnebusch@comcast.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Monday, April 5, 2004 10:52 PM CDT

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Loved the new photos. Especially the ocean one. Too cute! Hope Spring Break is relaxing for you all. Take care.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Wednesday, March 31, 2004 5:31 PM CST

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Hallo, It's the first time that I coming in, see it on Connor page, just will say hey and that I will pray for you, send you a blessing in Jesus name:"The Lord bless you and keep you, The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace" Numbers 6:24-26.....Send you a greeting from Europa.......
Jacky and Gina Vyvey-Desmedt, I'm one of Lynn's prayer warriors ad LegacyOfHope <jackina96@hotmail.com>
Gistel / West-Vlaanderen, w-vl Belgium - Wednesday, March 31, 2004 4:56 AM CST

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What a precious picture of Alexandria. Thank you so much for sharing that. I just wanted to sign in and let you know that you are close to my heart and I never stop thinking of or praying for you. Blessings in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Tuesday, March 30, 2004 9:06 PM CST

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What a beautiful baby and what a beautiful website!
Alison, I was trying to send you the information on J.I.M.'s conference and I had your incorrect email address.

Dinah Taylor <dinah@cumberlandcollege.edu>
Williamsburg, KY - Tuesday, March 30, 2004 8:44 AM CST

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Hope that you are enjoying your break, thinking of you today.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Monday, March 29, 2004 10:04 AM CST

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Alison: May the Lord continue to strengthen and sustain you as you, Grant, and the kids live each day. Thank you for the many gifts of yourselves and your courage you share with us.
Peggy S.
- Sunday, March 28, 2004 3:43 PM CST

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The new pictures are so sweet. What an adorable little baby! I hope the family is having a wonderful Spring Break!!
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Sunday, March 28, 2004 8:28 AM CST

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The baby pictures of Alexandria are ADORABLE!!! Thank you for sharing them with us. Hope you're having a great vacation. {{{Hugs}}}
Chris A.
Pittsburgh, PA - Saturday, March 27, 2004 2:18 PM CST

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Please know that I hold you close to my heart and always in my prayers. I will continue to pray as the Lord leads you to whatever He has for you next. I have no doubt His plan will be perfect. Blessings in Christ. I'll check in again soon.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Friday, March 26, 2004 5:22 PM CST

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I still think of Alexandria and Family often. I'm usually lurking in the background atleast once a week to read the journal. You remain in my prayers. God Bless You All.
Dee A Mullins www.caringbridge.org/wv/taylor <deemullins@adelphia.net>
Mount Sterling, KY - Thursday, March 25, 2004 6:36 AM CST

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Just checking in on all of you. I hope that you have a terrific trip south...sunshine and fun - sounds great! It also sounds like your plate is completely full. Your trip is perfect timing after the weekend you spent going through boxes and memories. Have a safe and fun trip...I'll keep checking in and praying for all of you.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Tuesday, March 23, 2004 4:19 PM CST

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Alison: Can ya travel a little more south???? Can ya do that for me sista????? Once again, I must resort to my ever so jealous ways...didn't you JUST get back from a vacation????? (LOL) I guess after the week you had last week you deserve it. Well, I'll await your return to "catch up"...... Sending you hugs and many prayers for a safe and fun time.
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Monday, March 22, 2004 6:24 PM CST

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Alison: Simply wanted to stop in and send thoughts and prayers to your family and Sarah's. May the Lord strengthen and sustain each of you.
Peggy S.
- Sunday, March 21, 2004 3:10 PM CST

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Hello Haddocks!
Just stopping by with some prayers and hugs for you.
I love Addison's new hair do! Her hair she gave to Locks of Love - will make some little girl look so adorable! I bet she feel's so proud!
Your family is always on my mind.
God Bless!
Judy (mom to Ryan - diagnosed 1/19/01 with acute biphenotypic leukemia, mud transplant April 12, 2001.)
www.ryangrumish.com
Judy Grumish <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, IL U.S.A. - Thursday, March 18, 2004 9:32 AM CST

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Hello Haddocks--it has been a long time since I have written. Great pics of Addison--amazing how big she has gotten. Our prayers go out to the Johnson family for comfort during this most difficult time. Your family is always in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless.
Beth Pyle <stlpylefamily@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, March 17, 2004 9:27 PM CST

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Dear Allison, hadn't checked in in a while. I am so sorry to hear about Sarah. Your family and her family will be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, March 17, 2004 7:37 AM CST

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Dear Alison,
I'm so sorry to hear of another loss your family must face. Words cannot convey how badly I feel for you and Grant and the children. Prayers continue for both families daily. I hope to see you during spring break.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, March 17, 2004 6:32 AM CST

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Dear Alison,
I was out in your area last week and passed your church. I just had to stop and put some spring flowers on Alexandria's grave site. I never knew her, but grew to love her so much through her mother's journals. I did not say a prayer for Alexandria, because she no longer needs prayers, but I did say a very special prayer for her still grieving family. May you feel God's love and peace in this difficult world we live in.
Love in Chris,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Monday, March 15, 2004 12:25 AM CST

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Alison: So much grief across the world today. People going through their normal lives called home to the Lord. May He bring each of them the gift of his loving consolation.
Peggy S.
- Sunday, March 14, 2004 2:32 PM CST

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Dear Alison and family,
I was checking in on your family and read about your Sarah's death. We are so sorry, for the pain and grief for their family. I know they will gain strength from you because you know how they feel. Please know we will pray for them and continue to think and pray for your family as well.
Jane and Doug Sheats <djarsheats@sbcglobal.net>
Springboro, OH - Sunday, March 14, 2004 6:34 AM CST

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Well, I just stopped by to check about your family cruise, so I started "backwards" in the journal and worked towards your most recent entry. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend and neighbor, Sarah. She sounded like a lovely girl, from a lovely family. How great their loss must be.

I am glad your family enjoyed your cruise vacation. It made me wish I was on a cruise myself, having been on two (SO FAR??!) in my lifetime. I knew I was fortunate to go on one, and then my in-laws springed for a family vacation so I was lucky enough to go on two. You are right - the Cozumel waters are beautiful. I just can't imagine what you went through upon arrival back to the States. I will TRY and take your advice next time we travel and pack less luggage but I, too, pack "anything that isn't moving"! :o)

Well, please take care and know that your neighbors are also in my thoughts and prayers.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Sunday, March 14, 2004 5:27 AM CST

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Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, March 13, 2004 6:30 AM CST

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I just wanted to stop by and check on your family. I'm so very sorry about the Johnson families loss, and another loss for you.
The strength required to get through times like this is given to us straight from the Lord.
You are all in our Prayers at Quilts Of Love,
Angel Tracy ^i^
Tracy Skinner (Angel Tracy) <tracy.skinner@comcast.net>
East Liverpool, OH USA - Friday, March 12, 2004 7:54 PM CST

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please know that there are lots of people who check on your family frequently (and maybe don't sign on as much as we should).. your family is in my prayers as you cope with another tragic loss.. god bless..
M Burns
Albany , ny - Friday, March 12, 2004 7:39 AM CST

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Thinking of your family & the Johnson family. I totally admire the strength & faith you have shown & continue to inspire.
e. spratt <etspratt@aol.com>
- Thursday, March 11, 2004 8:33 AM CST

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Dear Addison,
What a wonderful thing you did. You look great with short hair - it brings out your eyes and the shape of you sweet face! I'll keep you and Sarah in my prayers tonight... God bless you Addison
Cathy Yanez <gethsemanem1435@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, - Wednesday, March 10, 2004 9:56 PM CST

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I feel so bad for your family and Sarah's.
You are in my prayers! As they are.
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy) <dlblank@showme.net>
Scott City, - Tuesday, March 9, 2004 9:09 PM CST

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I am so sorry to hear about Sarah. Your children must be devestated. It is such a tragedy. Please tell Sarah's family that all your guestbook friends send their sympathy.
Eileen and Molly <fitNJpro@aol.com>
- Tuesday, March 9, 2004 1:22 PM CST

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im sure you must get bored of hearing it, and i wish i could find something more orginal to say, but i AM thinking of you,






Love viks from BWC and Post Pals

viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Monday, March 8, 2004 4:59 PM CST

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Hi Alison! Just wanted you to know that I'm still around, and thinking of you. How sad that another family has to endure the pain that we live with...my heart goes out to them. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for them. Things are hopping at our house, and we are beginning to see some hope for our future...again. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) <jagl@htc.net>
- Monday, March 8, 2004 2:04 PM CST

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My prayers are with Sarah's family during this difficult time.
Kathy H.
Thousand Oaks, CA - Sunday, March 7, 2004 11:32 PM CST

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Alison and Grant,
I am sure you will be a special blessing to the Johnson family in the days ahead. My heart grieves for them. My son just turned 16 two weeks ago, and I cannot even imagine the depth of their grief and pain. I am glad to hear that they have a strong faith, because that is the only thing that will help them survive such a sudden tragedy. Praying for all of you.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Saturday, March 6, 2004 7:15 PM CST

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Still thinking about you guys. Hope you're hanging in there ok.
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Thursday, March 4, 2004 12:38 AM CST

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Hi, Really sorry to hear about the death of the babysitter, Allison. Have been meaning to ask you to remember a little girl, Shelby Edmonson, who is about seven or eight and has leukemia, with your prayer groups. She belongs in a family of some of our friends. Thank you. She lives in Louisiana.
Linda
Baton Rouge, LA - Thursday, March 4, 2004 12:29 AM CST

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We are sorry to hear of the loss of your "Miss Sarah." We will definitely keep her family in our prayers, as well as you and the kids.

Love,
John & Johnelle <jnjrhines@charter.net>
- Tuesday, March 2, 2004 3:53 PM CST

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I'm so sorry. I know there's not much I can say to make anything better but I will be praying for you guys and for this family. Blessings in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Tuesday, March 2, 2004 6:09 AM CST

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Dear Allison,
I was so saddened to read about Sarah. The family must be in total shock. Prayers are definitely being said for the Johnson family, and all who knew and loved Sarah to find a comfort and peace about this tragedy that only our dear Lord can give. Continuing to think of you and your family often and praying for you too.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Monday, March 1, 2004 5:41 PM CST

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Alison: So sorry to hear of this tragedy. Please let her family know that all of your caringbridge "families" are thinking of them at this awful time. Hugs to you too :o) I'm so sorry. Your kids must be devastated.
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Sunday, February 29, 2004 10:00 AM CST

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Absolutely keeping the Johnson family in our prayers, and you and yours as well.
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Sunday, February 29, 2004 8:13 AM CST

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Addison - YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!

Phyllis <prc7186@aol.com>
Hamilton, NJ USA - Saturday, February 28, 2004 12:15 AM CST

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I checked out the site you had suggested. Thanks for the heads up. Oh my gosh I read your journal entry when you returned from vacation. Crazy!!! Sorry for the ships crashing. Also so thankful it wasn't yours. The Mardi Gras action I saw on the news that puts a whole new meaning to partying. I was also alarmed at the small children in the streets. Have a good weekend. Take care.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Friday, February 27, 2004 1:43 PM CST

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Alison: So pleased that you made it home safely and most of the trip was a good one for you and Grant and the kids. Thanks for alerting us to Abigail.
Peggy S.
- Friday, February 27, 2004 0:58 AM CST

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This poem was sent to me by my friend Debbie, Lakota's mom. I hope it touches your heart as it did mine:

I've seen you almost fall apart,
When you could barely stand.
I asked the Lord to comfort you,
And watched him take your hand.
He told me you are in more pain,
Then I could ever be.
He wiped his eyes and swallowed hard,
Then gave your hand to me.
Although you may not feel my touch,
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you,
While I wiped each tear you cried.
So please try not to ache for me,
We'll meet again one day,
Beyond the dark and stormy sky,
A Rainbow lights the way

Thinking of you with love and hugs,
I am both saddened and honored to remember your angel Alexandria on my heroes page.
Judy

 

Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, February 26, 2004 6:26 AM CST

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So glad your trip went well. Just wanted you to know you're loved. I'll check in on you again soon and will certainly be praying for you in the meantime.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Wednesday, February 25, 2004 8:18 AM CST

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Glad you are all back home safely. Sorry that your vacation ended on a sour note.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Tuesday, February 24, 2004 5:46 PM CST

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You are living my life, Alison. Murphy's law always kicks in when my family travels. Glad you're back safe and sound. Addison's hair is darling and I'm sure so much easier to care for on your trip! Can't wait to hear more about your trip. Since we're not taking a vacation, I'll try to rejuvenate through yours!
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, February 24, 2004 11:04 AM CST

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HEY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!

Welcome back!!! Man have you been missed here. Everyone has been asking me if your back, how your trip was, etc... So glad to hear that your trip was relaxing (well except the new about the Port of New Orleans). Those poor families! Your story of the unexpected tour of New Orleans left me in tears!!! Poor Stephanie. I can't wait to see pics and hear the other half of the story of your trip. Call me soon.

God Bless,
dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Tuesday, February 24, 2004 8:44 AM CST

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I'm thinking you may have gotten stuck on your ship with the backup due to the accident in the New Orleans Port.......Just saw your message on Meggie's site and am not jealous right now thinking about your 8 hour drive :o) can't wait for the details on your adventure. Hope Alexandria blessed you all with beautiful weather and a wonderful time...you definitely deserved it (did I mention I was jealous) (lol) Anyway, can't wait for the update. As always, thinking about you guys and our Angels.
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Monday, February 23, 2004 1:05 PM CST

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Welcome back! We hope you had a good time on your cruise. We can't wait to hear all about it. We are glad God provided you a way to get away for awhile. We were praying for you guys...and will continue!

Love,
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Sunday, February 22, 2004 5:34 PM CST

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Welcome home Haddock family! Can't wait to hear about your fun in the sun. Hope all is well and just wanted to let you know someone in NY was thinking about you today.
Lynn
Long Island , NY - Sunday, February 22, 2004 1:50 PM CST

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Addison,
You have a heart of gold! I am so proud of you! Hope you and your family have a wonderful trip. I know Sissy will be on that trip with you, afterall, like you said, she is in your heart and goes everywhere your heart goes. Have fun!
Kathy H.
Thousand Oaks, CA - Friday, February 20, 2004 4:56 PM CST

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Addison- I love your new hairstyle!!!!! You look so pretty and it's still long enough to put in pretty ponytails. I'm very impressed with how you gave your long hair to locks of love. You must be very special and I KNOW Alexandria is so proud of you. I hope you had fun on your cruise! I've never been on one, but I hear they're lots of fun. Your friend, Melissa Day
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
- Friday, February 20, 2004 4:27 PM CST

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Addison, what a great thing to do. You look just beautiful with your new haircut. I'm so proud of you. Praying you all have a great time. Take care.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Friday, February 20, 2004 12:09 AM CST

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Hello, Haddock Family. Stopping by after a long absence, but wanting you to know that I am thinking about you during this one year "anniversary" of Alexandria's passing. I am so happy you are able to go on your cruise!

Thank God for Locks of Love, eh? What a beautiful story about your beautiful little girl. And thank God she had enough hair to actually do it! (My 5-yr-old has only had her hair trimmed and it just barely reaches her shoulder blades!!) :o)

Have a wonderful vacation...

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Thursday, February 19, 2004 5:07 PM CST

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Alison and Grant-

Woooo how I miss talking to you. I wonder if your cell phone reaches to the cruise boat!!!! As I visited Alexandria last night I sat and reflected on the pass year. The dearest and sweetest friend that I have grown to know, shared many tears and laughter with, 3 adorable kiddos who my kiddos love to be with, spiritual growth I have endured and the amount of people all over that have been drawn to Alexandria and this site. Alexandria you are soooo missed!!! Thank you for being such a blessing in my life!!! Alison, I hope you are sitting by the pool on the boat, sipping a wonderful drink and soaking up the sun. Call me when you get home!!!!! We have some catching up to do. Thank you for the last year and being who you are!!!!!

Sisters in Christ,


dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Thursday, February 19, 2004 10:10 AM CST

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Alison and family, I was reading your latest entry today and thinking of you and the one year anniversary of A's passing and journey to Heaven.
I hope you are enjoying the cruise! How sweet of Addison to donate her locks! What a great way for her to keep the memory of Alexandria alive! Fortunately, you and Grant help her, Hunter and Hayden to do that each and every day. I'm sure I'm not the only one who also thanks you for keeping her memory alive through this website. Although I cannot possibly feel the same pain you feel each day, her passing affected all of us who knew her and your site is a small comfort to those of us who miss her too.
You are a very brave person, Alison, to keep up this journal and open your heart to others. I know it helps people and I hope it helps you. Keep up the good work and take care of yourself.
I'm glad to hear your endorsement of The Purpose Driven Life. It's been on my list to buy for myself and my brother for some time now. With your review, I can't wait to go buy it!
Take care and God bless,

Monica

Monica <mblummus@charter.net>
Eureka, MO - Thursday, February 19, 2004 8:48 AM CST

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I felt an angel's touch today,
in the midst of my despair.
Twas sent by God, Himself, to say,
"be still and know I'm there."

To lead through days of darkness,
and light your way with love.
Be still and know, deep in your heart,
I'm reigning from above.

I'll lift you when you stumble,
I'm with you all the time.
I understand and share your pain;
remember child of mine,

The end is coming quickly;
the Lord shall soon appear.
To resurrect the righteous ones,
I love and hold so dear.

And bring them home, into a place,
where broken hearts are healed.
And promises I made to you,
will finally be fulfilled.

This life is but a spot in time,
a place for lessons learned.
Heaven holds the key to all,
your broken spirit yearns.

I sent an angel down today,
to show my words are true.
You're never far, beyond the arms,
of all God's love for you

I wrote this poem shortly after I lost my Jennifer. I want you to know I am thinking of you with love, and pray you feel the touch of an angel today!
Love and prayers,
Judy


Click on the angel to visit my web site: Catch An Angel

Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 2:35 PM CST

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Addison, you don't know me, but I just found your sister's webpage and read about what a brave and wonderful thing you did. Donating your hair was such an awesome thing to do! I know it had to be hard to do, but you are a beautiful little girl both inside and out. I know your mommy, daddy and your sissy are all very proud of you!
a friend <lynn_merrill@mcgraw-hill.com>
TX - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 11:49 AM CST

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Dear Haddock Family,
Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you on Monday, Alexandria's Heaven's Day. I pray that she brought you comfort through all of your grief.

<333 ((Hugs)) and +Prayers+
Phyllis <prc7186@aol.com>
Hamilton, NJ USA - Wednesday, February 18, 2004 9:51 AM CST

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Hi Allison! Addison looks adorable! What a wonderful thing she did! You guys are on your cruise right now and I hope you are having an incredible time. You keep popping into my head. I thought of you guys so much yesterday. I am praying for you as you begin your 2nd year. I pray it's a year of blessings.
Kellie <ckmcclendon@yahoo.com>
O Fallon, - Tuesday, February 17, 2004 3:50 PM CST

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I just stopped by to check on you and hope you are finding some peace. I know Alexandria's memories are with you especially at this time and pray God draws near to comfort you. Please know if I can help I am just a click away.
Love and prayers
Judy

 
Click on the angel to visit my web site:  Catch An Angel

Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, February 17, 2004 2:33 PM CST

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The pictures of Addison are so very cute. She is a brave girl! We pray that you are having a wonderful cruise, full of fun, laughter, and sharing precious memories that make you smile. You guys are such a wonderful family and we are so blessed to know you. We thank God for the testimony of your lives and for allowing us to be able to see that. You are always in our prayers, especially this week.

Tell Addison that her new doo is very 5-year oldish!

Happy Sailing!
Love,
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, February 17, 2004 11:48 AM CST

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Thinking of you today (just like most days). Hope you are having a great time on the cruise-you deserve it. I pray for God's peace for your family during this difficult time.
Love,
Jenni
Jenni Burford <jennib@cox-internet.com>
Bentonville, AR - Monday, February 16, 2004 11:05 PM CST

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Thoughts of your beautiful little angel fill my mind today. Praying that you are having a relaxing and enjoyable time. Be safe!

Katy Davis <kdavis@mail.win.org>
St. Peters/OFallon ?!?, MO - Monday, February 16, 2004 10:56 PM CST

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Just wanted to stop by today and let you know that Alexandria has been in my thoughts today more than usual. I am praying that maybe, somehow, the cruise is helping you make it through this difficult day. Keeping you very close in prayer today and throughout the week.
Love in Christ,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Monday, February 16, 2004 9:34 PM CST

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I AM REALLY WANT TO BE BRAVE TODAY BUT MY HEART IS JUST BREAKING. I MISS ANGEL ALEXANDRIA SO VERY, VERY MUCH. I WISH THAT I COULD JUST HOLD HER ONE MORE TIME AND SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL SMILE AGAIN. THINKING AND PRAYING FOR YOUR FAMILY. MEMAW AND PAWPAW
MEMAW & PAWPAW <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO ST FRANCOIS - Monday, February 16, 2004 8:20 PM CST

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THinking of all of you today... hope you are enjoying your cruise... Addison looks so much like Alexandria!

Nancy Dalton <nancyd106@msn.com>
Wildwood, MO - Monday, February 16, 2004 8:13 PM CST

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Thoughts of Alexandria and your family have filled my day. Your journal entry was awesome - thank you. The letter to Alexandria was absolutely beautiful. Addison is a sweetheart and I am sure that her Sissy is the proudest little angel in heaven. I hope that the cruise is as fantastic as it sounds and that everyone enjoys it.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Monday, February 16, 2004 7:01 PM CST

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May the Lord continue to watch over you and yours.
Peggy S.
- Monday, February 16, 2004 6:57 PM CST

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Alison....I've thought about Alexandria all day today (I know I'm not the only one :o) I'm sure your precious Angel is cruising right along with you as you are hopefully enjoying a much deserved getaway. My thoughts and prayers are always with you. Looking forward to all the details of your cruise sister!! :o) Did I mention I was jealous???? (LOL) Hugs to you and your entire family today and everyday.
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Monday, February 16, 2004 6:41 PM CST

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Thinking of you all today and sending you are prayers.
Jenn and Tim Mobarak <jmobarak@charter.net>
- Monday, February 16, 2004 4:46 PM CST

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Alexandria's Angels held a bowling tournament for my son Jacob who has relapsed neuroblastoma on Sat., Feb. 14th, it was a great success and thank you does not begin to express our appreciation. We keep you in our prayers and know that through God's love and power he is also taking care of our son.
Tina Rudisaile <TRudisaile@netzero.net>
Festus, MO USA - Monday, February 16, 2004 4:20 PM CST

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Our thoughts and prayers are with you today.
Tammy Holston <tsholston@bellsouth.net>
Roswell, GA - Monday, February 16, 2004 1:58 PM CST

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Thinking of you all today and always.
Kristen Bly <kbbly@aol.com>
- Monday, February 16, 2004 12:57 AM CST

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Just signing in to let you know that you are in our thoughts and prayers today and everyday. Wishing you rainbows, sunshine, and plenty of fun on your vacation this week!

The Balkenbusch Family <nbalken@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Monday, February 16, 2004 12:19 AM CST

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Mr. and Mrs. Haddock,

I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you today. ~Isaiah 40:31~
Kailie Rhines <loolieb@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, February 16, 2004 11:27 AM CST

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Thinking of you today. Hope your are having a great time...
Jeanine <jrien0512@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Monday, February 16, 2004 10:06 AM CST

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May the love of your angel,
sweetly enfold you.
Gently uplift you,
comfort and hold you.
(from Heavenly Lights website)

Thinking of you today and praying that God will wrap you in his arms and give you the strength to continue on without your precious Alexandria. I am sure she is having one fantastic first heavenly Birthday party.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Monday, February 16, 2004 9:53 AM CST

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Thinking of your precious Alexandria today and also how proud she would be of her little sister. I think her smile in her 'after' picture says it all. Addison should also be proud of herself for being such a big girl!! I hope you enjoy your cruise, you certainly deserve every moment of it.
Take Care.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Monday, February 16, 2004 8:38 AM CST

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Thinking of you all today and always. Hope you are enjoying lots of sun and warm weather! God bless!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, February 16, 2004 8:11 AM CST

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Thinking of you today, God bless you all! Addison, WOW, what a great sister! Have a fantastic cruise and enjoy that warm weather.
Julie
Syracuse, NY - Monday, February 16, 2004 7:11 AM CST

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You all are in my thoughts and prayers "today". I hope you are having a wonderful time on your vacation!! God Bless you! Thinking of your little angel today ^i^
Kasey Gunde <kasey.gunde@delta.com>
Mount Holly, NC US - Monday, February 16, 2004 6:42 AM CST

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Your family is in my thoughts and prayers this week, as you are at many times. I pray you have a safe and wonderful cruise.
K. Grossman
St. Louis, MO - Sunday, February 15, 2004 11:03 PM CST

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I may not get by here tomorrow and I don't want to forget. I know you are "cruising" but I wanted to stop by and let you know that I am continuing to lift you up in prayer and that will be especially true on Monday. Blessings and love to you in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Sunday, February 15, 2004 5:36 PM CST

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Thoughts and prayers are with you this week. I hope the warm air and sunshine gives you a bit of renewal.
Forever remembering Alexandria.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Sunday, February 15, 2004 9:39 AM CST

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Addison: What a truly special gift to share with another child in need, particularly because your long hair was so important to you. You have shown such a generous spirit. We're all very proud of you.
Alison and Grant: You and your family remain in our thoughts and prayers. May the Lord continue to strengthen and sustain you and may you always find shelter in His hands.
Peggy S.
- Saturday, February 14, 2004 10:35 PM CST

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Addison-

I am so proud of you and I know your sissy is too!!!!!! You are such a big girl for donating your hair for Locks of Love. You look soooo beautiful with your new haircut. You make me want to have my hair short!!! Maybe we can get Katie to get hers cut too!! Have fun on your cruise and call us when you get back. Happy Valentine's Day guys!!!

God Bless,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Saturday, February 14, 2004 10:20 PM CST

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Addison is truly beautiful inside and out, both with long hair and her new shorter hair. Coming to your caringbridge page has made me "get it", and ever since I began coming here to pray for your daughter and follow her courageous battle, I've grown as a mother and a Christian from your words and example. Not only is your daughter an inspiration to many, but so are you.

Thinking of you this week as you face your highs and some understandable lows. May you feel God's hand of comfort.
Jenifer
NJ - Saturday, February 14, 2004 9:27 PM CST

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My heart is so very heavy for you as you approach your last 'first', but I am so very glad you chose to 'cruise' thru it. I know it's silly to say have a wonderful time, so I'll say that I hope this cruise helps ease your pain & is the relaxing break you all need. If nothing else, the change in weather will be a shot in the arm! God bless you all, and have a safe trip.
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Saturday, February 14, 2004 5:36 PM CST

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Alison,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family this week as you approach the anniversary of Alexandria's move to heaven. It hardly seems like it's been a year. She is greatly missed. Have a great time on your trip and may you feel God's loving presence.
Debbie Reynolds <acedallas@aol.com>
Wildwood, MO USA - Saturday, February 14, 2004 3:33 PM CST

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Way to Go Addison... You look like such a big girl with your new hair cut. Have lots of fun on the big, huge boat!! I hope you get to see Dory and Nemo and friends.. Alison, once again - your entry brought me to tears.. Your poignant, heartfelt words are a Gift from above to all of us lucky enough to read them. Have a wonderful cruise. We'll be thinking about you here in the bitter cold of MO>>> Hope to see you when you return. Take care and God Bless!!!!!!!!
Lisa Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@centurytel.net>
O'Fallon, MO - Saturday, February 14, 2004 3:30 PM CST

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Thinking of your family especially this week...
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Saturday, February 14, 2004 12:54 AM CST

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Your words are always so beautiful and yes I am crying again. You are in my thoughts everyday. (I know you pick up the kids ever morning so I have to say your name everyday. "Kids be good for Miss Alison") But it goes way beyond that. Have a wonderful and restful vacation.
Jeanine <jrien0512@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Saturday, February 14, 2004 8:14 AM CST

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Dear Alison,
I still check Alexandria's site from time to time and I am always blessed by your journal entries. I am so glad that you are going on a cruise. I pray that it will be safe and restful for all of you. I know Monday will be a difficult day, and even though there was joy in that day last year with Alexandria's homecoming, I can only imagine the pain that will be revisited at the memories of it being her last day on earth with you and the rest of her family. Addison is so beautiful with her new haircut. Please tell her that I am so grateful to God for her generous, loving heart, and Alexandria definitely has a special little sister. I continue to pray for you and your family to find much happiness in this life here on earth, as you wait to be reuited with your beloved Sissy someday.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Friday, February 13, 2004 9:01 PM CST

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Alison.......SIGH! Sitting here thinking of you (not about the cruise part (jealous, jealous, jealous :o) but about our girls. Addison is such an amazing trooper. You're raising some wonderful children and I'm sure Alexandria was watching from the best seat in the house and telling all of her angel friends that that's her little sister down there doing something wonderful for another child who lost their precious hair. I still have Meghan's hair from when it started to fall out. We went ahead and cut it all off and now I have a baggie full of the most gorgeous jet black curls.....UGH! I hate February!!!!! My heart is aching and I haven't gotten over last weekend and now as I feel Monday coming fast and furious, the hole in my heart only grows wider.......
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Friday, February 13, 2004 7:30 PM CST

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This would be my 3rd email to you today and yet I cannot help myself. What an amazing entry, maybe the best yet. You sound so strong and maybe you can reflect back on this entry when you are not feeling as strong.
The kids really want to see a picture of Addison with her new beautiful hair. Mackenzie could not stop asking me to "show her Addison" I meant to tell you that I heard that sweet little voice the other day when I was on the phone with Kristen and it almost brought tears to my eyes.
Have a wonderful trip and I couldn't agree more with you about our sweet Nancy Cole. She is a gift. One of those friends I refered to in my previos email.
Lots of love
Tracey
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Friday, February 13, 2004 3:45 PM CST

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Haddocks,
May you have a safe and blessed trip- you all deserve it. We keep all of you in our prayers. Thanks for sharing your thoughts- your family's faith and strength are inspiring.
The Vena Family <forchiefs@aol.com>
Overland Park, KS - Friday, February 13, 2004 3:09 PM CST

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Alison, you did it again. The tears stream down my face as I read your journal entry. I'm trying to hide my runny makeup from from my fellow workers, I don't feel like explaining why I'm crying. But, thanks again for the update. You are so on target with so many things. I will read that book, The Purpose-Driven Life. Thanks for recommending it!
Have a wonderful vacation. Some fun in the sun is the best antidote for everyone! God bless you and your family. And bless you little angel, who watches over all of you.
Lynn
- Friday, February 13, 2004 3:08 PM CST

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What a wonderful way to take care of your souls this coming week! Thinking of you and praying for your continued comfort and peace.
Karen, Bill, Katie, Kristen, &Caroline Gabriel <BKGabe@att.net>
Ballwin, MO - Friday, February 13, 2004 12:45 AM CST

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Your daughter was simply beautiful, and my heart just aches for you and your family. Cancer is from hell and I mean that, I lost my Mother to colon cancer and I know all that you have gone through, one has to walk in your shoes, to really know the meaning of the word CANCER. I am in three years of my grief, some days are better than others, but I know God is holding my hand as he is yours. Love and prayers to all of you.
Janet Padgett
Mauldin, S>C> Greenville - Thursday, February 12, 2004 8:01 PM CST

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Surely all of those children need a teacher along to keep them up to date with their studies! It's a tough call, but I'd volunteer to do that out of the goodness of my heart and not the sincere desire to get away from St. Louis winter weather. Yes, I'm envious. Enjoy yourselves.

Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO - Thursday, February 12, 2004 11:34 AM CST

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Hey girlfriend-

Just wanted to drop a line to let you know that the offer still stands for me to carry your luggage for you on your trip. I would feel really bad if something happened to your back again and I did offer my help. Ok if that doesn't work how about a personal nanny for the kids, humm TAKE ME WITH YOU PLEASE!!!!! Seriously I know how bad this next week is going to be and I'm so glad you are going to be able to spend it with family. RELAX and REST!! You all deserve it!!! Have a GREAT time and call me when you get back!!

God Bless,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Thursday, February 12, 2004 8:33 AM CST

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Keeping you close to my heart this week and praying for peace and comfort for all of you. The tears just pour down my face when I look at the pictures of Alexandria with her brothers, knowing how much my boys adore their big sissy too...but what wonderful pictures they are! Thank you for continuing to share with us. I hope that you all have a wonderful trip and enjoy some sunshine.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Tuesday, February 10, 2004 10:55 PM CST

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Hello all~! I still check in here, although I don't know you all. I really hope that you have a wonderful cruise and wonderful weather. My prayers are with you all the time.
Nicky H. http://caringbridge.org/pa/carterfinger/ <nhinnebusch@comcast.net>
- Tuesday, February 10, 2004 10:34 PM CST

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Hi,
My name is Brooke. I came upon your daughter's page through caring bridge for Alex Haigler. He passed away on Friday. I just want you to know I have been reading the beautiful entries about your daughter.....and I have cried so much my eyes are burning. You and your family are truly an inspiration. I have two children...one is 16 months and the other three....I can not begin to imagine the emotional rollercoaster you have been through. You have helped so many people.....even those with children who are without illness. You help us to see how precious those "temper tantrums" truly are. I am praying for you and your family- thank you for allowing me to read about your life- Your faith is unshakeable-what a testimony...I don't really know what to say- I am so sorry for the saddness-so thankful for your faith.....I guess I'll stop now, otherwise this run on sentence will put you to sleep. Just know that your daughter and your family have positively affected millions.....what a wonderful messenger she is...God knew that all along.
brooke morters <brookemom@alltel.net>
gainesville, ga - Tuesday, February 10, 2004 10:18 PM CST

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Dear Alison and Family,
I hope you have a sunny peaceful holiday. You just kick back and ENJOY in any way you can. Molly and I are praying that Alexandria's Angel Anniversary holds more than sadness for you all...I pray that there is magic there too. I think so often of how open you are to god's secret gifts..the ones he gives to parents who's children are so sick. You "see" so much. I pray that your day is full of those moments. I am thankful for your journal entries and for the friendship I felt with Michele while she was at the YMCA. Please tell her the JOISEY GALS say "hi"
God Bless you ....Eileen and Molly
E. Healy <fitNJpro@aol.com>
Waldwick, - Tuesday, February 10, 2004 4:39 PM CST

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Alison,

I did not know about Caringbridge before your daughter passed away but I have been reading your journals for the past 6 months or so. My husband is the man who does the voice of Bob the Builder and I found this site and started sending things to children who are sick. I am so sorry about your daughter but am so pleased that you are going to be going away. You really need it. I just got back from the Carnival Victory in Jan. I have a 7,9, and 11 year old and visited the same islands so if you want to know anything about the destinations let me know. Have a great time and God Bless.
Deb Duffy and William Dufris <debs3@maine.rr.com>
Cumberland , Maine - Tuesday, February 10, 2004 3:07 PM CST

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Hello,
Stopping by to let you know that you are in our prayer's.
God be with you.

Love,LaKota and her mom,Debbie
~*~ LaKota's Page ~*~



I've seen you almost fall apart,
When you could barely stand.
I asked the Lord to comfort you,
And watched him take your hand.
He told me you are in more pain,
Then I could ever be.
He wiped his eyes and swallowed hard,
Then gave your hand to me.
Although you may not feel my touch,
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you,
While I wiped each tear you cried.
So please try not to ache for me,
We'll meet again one day,
Beyond the dark and stormy sky,
A Rainbow lights the way.


http://www.carinbridge.org/mn/laplafcan <sdl@astound.net>
St.Cloud, MN - Tuesday, February 10, 2004 11:55 AM CST

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Thinking of you as I know your thoughts keep going back to one year ago.... Good for you on booking a cruise - sounds very nice.
Karin, Anna's Mom <Olssonka@yahoo.com>
Fenton, MO - Monday, February 9, 2004 9:07 AM CST

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Thinking of you all and hoping you have a wonderful, relaxing trip. God bless!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, February 9, 2004 8:41 AM CST

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I'm so happy to hear your trip plans. It will be wonderful for you all, and what perfect timing!! February for me is an awful month to get through too. My father died on the 3rd just after my 10th birthday, 11 years later to the day a first cousin died with the same lymphoma, then 12 years later a nephew died on the 6th, then in 2000 a very good friend of my Dad's died on the 3rd, exactly 31 years after my Dad. Oh, how I hate to see February. But, so far we have had some nice sunny, cold frosty winter days. Have a wonderful cruise and don't forget the sunscreen. God Bless.
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ontario Canada - Monday, February 9, 2004 7:44 AM CST

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I hope you have a great time on your trip. I lost my precious son 4 months ago. Your daughter was so beautiful.

www.caringbridge.org/mn/dustin
Kris, Angel Dustin's Mom <buser_lady@yahoo.com>
- Sunday, February 8, 2004 10:36 PM CST

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Just wanted you to know that I'm holding you and your family in my heart and in my prayers.


Angel SMIL from the Quilts of Love
amy <majek89@yahoo.com>
- Sunday, February 8, 2004 9:53 PM CST

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I come here often & continue to think of you & your family. I haven't signed the guestbook in a long time but I do check on you weekly. I'm glad you're finding some serenity, if you can call it that, with planning your "getaway". Y'all deserve it.

My children are 4 & 2. I think of the awesome ability it takes to continue to parent after losing your daughter. It is your faith that gets you through it all.

God Bless.
Kathy Adelson Laucius <klaucius@sbcglobal.net>
Houston, TX - Sunday, February 8, 2004 9:36 PM CST

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My Dear sister,

One year ago today seems like yesterday. What precious memories, the last day she really felt good. Remember she pointed to differents parts of her and would say "it doesn't hurt here, and it doesn't hurt here", and we were so excited to see her even get out of bed! I sit here in tears wanting to hold her and touch her and the ache I feel in my heart cannot even compare to yours. The darling Hamtaro House, watching the boys play with her that night, all the memories just flooding back. I am so glad you guys are going cruising, drink a margarita (or two for that matter) for Aunt Michelle! LOVE YOU!!!
Michelle Suter <michelle1210@yahoo.com>
Lewisville, TX - Sunday, February 8, 2004 8:44 PM CST

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God Bless you Haddocks. I hope you have a wonderful time on your trip! Make sure you go see the Sea Turtle farm in the Grand Caymans! I will be thinking of you and praying for you guys. I sure do miss Addison but I understand. You know I'm here. Much Love!
Kellie McClendon
- Sunday, February 8, 2004 7:14 PM CST

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When I read about your cruise plans, I had to laugh! I feel I may have started something with our 'run-away' Christmas cruise...you're about the third angel Mom I've heard that has decided to do that! I hope yours accomplishes for you, what ours did for us; but yes, it'll all be here when you get back. Oh well, face that then! I'm thinking of you a great deal & lifting you in prayer. Have a good time... I KNOW the kids will! God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Sunday, February 8, 2004 1:51 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks,
That cruise sounds awesome! I hope you have a nice time with your change of scenery. I know you'll enjoy the change of weather! I doubt if you could do anything that would make Grant angry with you, so you were pretty safe to book that trip. He was probably secretely happy with your idea. We'll all be thinking about you and praying for you and your family to get through these difficult weeks to come.
Love,
Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO USA - Sunday, February 8, 2004 1:51 PM CST

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The cruise sounds great - enjoy! Thinking of you all.

Kathleen Maas-Stokes <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Sunday, February 8, 2004 12:07 AM CST

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YOU GO GIRL!!! You and your family deserve some fun in the sun! I hope you guys have the greatest time, and Alexandria will be watching from above, sending you love and blessings. In the meantime, stay warm and just know that we're all thinking of you and praying for peace, love and healing.
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Sunday, February 8, 2004 9:39 AM CST

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I want to go!!! That will be a perfect distraction from the week. I know you will think of her every second but you will be enjoying the memories of her life, not the end of her life. I miss you more than you know and I will call you this week.
Hugs and lots of Kisses ( I don't care f it's flu season, you're getting them!!!)
Tracey
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, February 8, 2004 9:02 AM CST

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Haddock's,
Have a great time on your cruise. It sounds like a perfect thing to do. I will be thinking about you all a lot next week.
Grace and Peace,

Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Sunday, February 8, 2004 8:21 AM CST

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Cruises are absolutely WONDERFUL!! The one we went on this summer was amazing and definitely very healing. Happy 1/2 birthday to your precious girl. Today's my whole birthday and I am delighted to share it with a precious little girl named Alexandria. There is not a day that goes by when I don't think of you guys. Please know that I continue to lift you up in prayer to our Lord. I am here for you and you know how to find me if there's anything you need from me besides prayer. I'll continue to check on you here and will certainly be praying for you a little more intensely this month as I know it is an extremely difficult time for you. Blessings and lots of love in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Saturday, February 7, 2004 10:31 PM CST

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I know that this month is particularly hard for you, I just want you to know you are being lifted up in prayer. As I have found sometimes the days leading up to those days we think will be the hardest turn out to be more difficult than the actual day. So just know I am praying for you not just as that first year mark, but for the days leading up to it and the days that follow.
Love,
Lisa Jacob's mommy forever
Lisa Mosley <paulmosley@juno.com>
- Friday, February 6, 2004 11:08 PM CST

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Hi Alison..We are back here in Mo and loving it. I've been thinking about you and the family alot. Sweet Miss Nancy brought me some goodies over to welcome us back. This community is awesome to say the least. I know this is a tough month for you - but remember - we are all here for you to lean on. I can't wait to see you.. Take care. Love Lisa
Lisa S. <jimlisaschwartz@centurytel.net>
O'Fallon -- Yeah!!!, Mo - Friday, February 6, 2004 11:23 AM CST

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Just found your site from another site. Wanted to let you know I will be thinking of you as you approach your first anniversary. I am approaching my third. I think the first one was the easiest. The third missed birthday was definitely the hardest. Everyone is different. Just don't feel like you are odd if you don't feel like everyone expects, or if you feel worse than everyone expects. Because it is all "normal" when you have lost a child. Take care, and God Bless you and your family.
Karen Riebe <klriebe@comcast.net>
Oak Grove, MN USA - Thursday, February 5, 2004 6:43 PM CST

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Dear Grant and Allison- I just wanted to let you know that as the dreaded first anniversary draws near, we are thinking of you. It will be so hard on you and your whole family. It's hard to believe a whole year has gone by, but I'm sure it has felt like an eternity at times. The stories you have told about the other families are absolutely heartbreaking. At times life does seem to be a veil of tears. I can't believe how tragedy has the ability to zero in on some families. I hope you get through this next milestone somehow and continue to carry on in your brave and inspiring manner. We keep you in our prayers. love,
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
- Thursday, February 5, 2004 4:58 PM CST

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Alison, I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly and I love you dearly. I apologize for not signing in that often, but I do pray and I appreciate your detailed and honest entries that let me know exactly how to pray for you. Please know that even when I don't sign, you are definitely in my heart. Blessings and love to you in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Wednesday, February 4, 2004 10:44 PM CST

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Alison, please tell Grant I am thinking about his mom. After his dad's health issues, I bet it is extra tough for them and the family. So sorry to hear about Brittney too! That naughty kitty! I hope her passing brings you some comfort knowing she is up in heaven with Alexandria. It took a special person to love and warm that gorgeous cat's heart=) I know everyone in your family will miss her.

I'm so glad you decided to update the site. I've missed reading your updates. Who cares if you are negative? It's your life and you deserve to vent on your own site! Everyone knows that journaling and writing down your thoughts not only helps relieve stress and enable healing, but your experiences really do help others. I think you are so brave to continue updating and sharing your innermost thoughts with others. Keep up the good work and hang in there! Thinking of you always, Monica
Monica Lummus <mblummus@charter.net>
Eureka, MO - Wednesday, February 4, 2004 1:47 AM CST

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Hey you guys!

We wanted to let you know we are thinking of you today and every day. You are such an inspiration to so many and we appreciate your testimony and that of Alexandria's so very much! You are a very special family to us. We are praying for you as you make your way through February.

Love you guys!

John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, February 3, 2004 2:52 PM CST

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Hello Alison and Grant and family:
It has been awhile since I have had a computer access (we moved and took ahile to get hooked up)..but even tho I wasn't able to keep up with the site, you have all been in my thoughts and prayers.
Once again, after catching up on your entries, I am moved to tears. It is unimaginable to begin to understand the pain you must feel..and my heart aches for you.
I agree with you about how everything is intricately designed by God, our lives, whom we meet and how paths are crossed. I thank God for allowing me to have had the opportunity to know your family because through your openness and your faith, my own faith has grown. Alexandria continues to touch the lives of many many people, even from heaven. What an awesome legacy.
You spoke of "gifts"...Please know that the journal you share is yet another priceless "gift" that you bestow to others...your writings are so honest and eloquent and "real." You may consider it a sort of therapy for you, but it is also therapy for each one who reads it as well...therapy that reminds us to treasure the blessings we each have been given by our loving Father in heaven. Thank you again and may the Lord continue to Bless you.


Katy Davis <kdavis@mail.win.org>
St. Peters, MO USA - Monday, February 2, 2004 5:07 PM CST

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Hi Alison,
I've been out of town for a few days and missed your two new entries. I appreciate what you have to say, and I think it's important to share whatever you want to share. I think about Alexandria quite often and what a special little girl she was while she was here. When I shop for Hello Kitty toys for my nieces I always smile and remember Alexandria!
Grace and Peace,

Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Monday, February 2, 2004 9:20 AM CST

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Hi Alison~
I just wanted to stop in and let you know that I was thinking of you and your family today. I always enjoy your journal entries-even though you may feel they are negative at times. I can appreciate your honesty and also that your words come from the heart. Thank you for allowing so many strangers (like myself) the opportunity to learn and grow from your experiences. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Sunday, February 1, 2004 4:16 PM CST

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I am stopping by to leave love, prayers and hugs, you are special to me!
Love Angel Toto <pat_totoofoz@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, January 31, 2004 8:39 PM CST

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Hi Alison. You've been on my heart for several days & I thought I'd check on you today. It's true... so many people suffer from 'innocent ignorance'. It takes something like we've expierenced, so allow us to see how out of control our world is spinning. We've become such a 'me first' society, and have forgotten how to care about others and extend compassion. (I am just as guilty as any other) When actions like these come from 'friends' and family, it is so much more painful, isn't it? I am thinking of you and lifting you in prayer, as you face your last 'first'. I know there are no words to comfort you thru this, so I will attempt to 'pray you thru'...as many have done for me. God bless you.
jan livingstone (Andy's mom forever)
- Saturday, January 31, 2004 5:15 PM CST

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i realized tonight that altho i check in frequently, i haven't signed the guestbook since december.. you write so beautifully.. your pain is palpable.. i found caringbridge when a very close friend lost her beautiful nine year old.. when katie lost her battle i continued to track certain sites.. i can't really explain it, it's almost like you come to know people.. and you truly feel for them, think about them, cry when things go horribly wrong, and rejoice when things go well.. i just know that your writing speaks to me, and your words remind me that it is lonely for you, and that i should never forget that even when we're not talking about katie, her mom is thinking about her. thank you for reminding me to appreciate what i have, and please know that you have made a difference in the lives of alot of people who will never meet you.. god bless you allison, and i wish you peace as you go thru this difficult month ahead..
M Burns
Albany, NY - Friday, January 30, 2004 10:15 PM CST

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Alison, I'm not sure what you're speaking about in your latest posting, but I've always admired the way you speak your mind. Keep it up!!! I check in almost daily to see how everyone is doing. Not only did I pray and think of Alexandria, but also of the entire family. God Bless You All.
Dee A Mullins <deemullins@adelphia.net>
Mt Sterling, KY - Friday, January 30, 2004 7:13 PM CST

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Hello!
stopping by to check in how you are doing.
Remember that we are praying for you.
God be with you!!!!!
Love,Lakota and her mom,Debbie
~*~ LaKota's Page ~*~



http://www.carinbridge.org/mn/laplafcan <sdl@astound.net>
St. Cloud, MN - Friday, January 30, 2004 6:54 PM CST

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Alison:

I love your post! I liken this to those who tell us how to raise our children and they don't have any themselves! Walk a mile... is my motto!

Thanks for always being honest - it's refreshing!
Kim Eplett <knadn_eh@msn.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Friday, January 30, 2004 5:35 PM CST

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Alison, Thanks for the update, although you should never feel like you need to explain yourself. You are loved no matter what. I'm sending you good thoughts, wishes, blessings, and lots of love your way.
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Friday, January 30, 2004 2:54 PM CST

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You are such an amazing woman. You are always on my mind. I hope you know that if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just to vent you can always count on me. I am always here to listen...
Jeanine <jrien0512@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Friday, January 30, 2004 2:02 PM CST

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It was so good to hear your words again. I have missed your updates lately and have been thinking of you all the time. Mackenzie told Mike last night that she wants to move back to St Louis next to Addison. She talks about her all the time. We miss you so much. I miss our warm days of meeting outside and watching the kids play.
I am so sad to hear about Brittney but just as you start to feel sad, think, you still have Abby!!!!!!!
I love you and I will say a special pray for Grant's mom.
Love,
Tracey
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Friday, January 30, 2004 12:52 AM CST

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Hi Alison,
As always I enjoy reading what you have written, there are so many times I wish I would have been a little more honest when writing on Jacob's site. Greif is such a hard place to be, and only others going through the loss of a child can understand how we feel. You are right I too felt like I was losing something else when I closed Jacob's site down. It is lonely enough here, but now it is worse, since many of those people who wrote me weekly are no longer writing. People do not understand that it is so lonely. No one calls, sends cards or e-mails. Especially at this time of the year, when it is cold and dark outside. Everyone wants to support you at the begining, but then they quickly fall away.
You are in my thoughts and prayers, keep being honest, maybe you can continue to help others starting this journey. Sometimes it is just nice to know your not alone in your thoughts and feelings.
Love,
Lisa Jacob's mommy forever


Lisa Mosley <paulmosley@juno.com>
St. Peters, - Friday, January 30, 2004 10:42 AM CST

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Just letting you know we still pray for your family, and think of Alexandria very often. Jordan and I love looking at the pictures and remembering your family being a part of the friends in Autumn View. Take care...
Julene
Elllisville, - Friday, January 30, 2004 9:16 AM CST

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Alison and Grant-

You couldn't have said it any better than you did with this journal entry!!! So many need to understand you do things for others thinking that you are helping them but in return they help you more than you can thank. We lived that life of "oh what could we possibly be able to help them with", "I'm sure they have alot of help and don't need us" lives while Alexandria was here and you know what I'm telling all of you out there WE ARE THE ONES WHO MISSED OUT!! Missed out on spending time with an AWESOME child. Supporting wonderful parents. We chose going to her Celebration of Life as church family to show our support never expecting to have a life altering change take place that day. Your right true friends understand when you don't return phone calls, a true friend shares tears (and kleenex's hee hee sorry inside joke) and are sad day and night about others hurting as much as we have witness with dear friends. Thank you so much for always being honest. (even with the critizism that comes with it) Everyone should be as lucky as I am to call you friends!!!! Talk to you real soon.

God Bless,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Friday, January 30, 2004 8:58 AM CST

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Go Girl!

I don't know you and never will have the opportunity to meet you, even though I feel I have through this website. You are an amazing woman! You are in my prayers.

Your friend in Alabama,
Linda
Linda Watson <ltwats7@msn.com>
- Friday, January 30, 2004 8:25 AM CST

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Don't let anyone make you feel worse than you already do. You are the one who lost your little girl. If someone can't go out of their way to extend a little extra compassion, they were never a real friend in the first place. I'll bet that is something you've heard before all this, it's something you have probably told your kids. Before, it was just a phrase, now you know it is 100% true. I am sorry for all you are going through. When you hear words that sting, please remember-- even strangers care. Take care.
Susan
PA - Friday, January 30, 2004 8:13 AM CST

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Alison.... I care and I stand beside you. Your words as usual ring true. Thanks for everything. I always look forward to our little "cyber chats".
Carol Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Friday, January 30, 2004 7:56 AM CST

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Your journal entry, as usual, was so touching. You are a true champion to the cause. Not only fighting for the children, but also for their families. God bless you all for the way you continue to touch so many.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, January 30, 2004 7:41 AM CST

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Alison, I cannot imagine you having to explain your feelings or actions to anyone. While your entries are breathtaking and very descriptive, without having gone through the experience, we could never fully understand. Although I am the one that usually checks your website, my whole family asks about you regularly. The kids especially love looking at Alexandria's pictures. Like many others out there, we keep you and your family in our prayers.
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Friday, January 30, 2004 7:35 AM CST

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I've just been thinking about you so much lately. I pray that you are all as well as can be. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Wednesday, January 28, 2004 11:11 PM CST

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Hello,
Thank you for coming to LaKota's web page.
It mean's so much to us. We have met a lot of wonderful people during this journey, Thank you for being one of them.
I never imagine that we would have to go down this path again with another child of our's.
Just know that we are praying for you.
God be with you.
Love, LaKota and her mom,Debbie
~*~ LaKota's Page ~*~


JUST BECAUSE;

Just because I no longer
stand in front of your eyes
doesn't mean you can't see me.
Close them,
I am there.
Just because I no longer
answer when you call my name
doesn't mean you can't hear me.
Speak softly, listen carefully,
there is my voice.

Just because I can no longer
touch your hands
doesn't mean you can't feel me.
Hold on to another,
my arms are there.

Just because I am no longer there
to show you I love you
doesn't mean my love is gone.
Place your hand on your heart,
feel its beat.
I am there.

Know that I am with God.

Know that God is with you.

And in that we are still with each other.

Just because...




http://www.carinbridge.org/mn/laplafcan <sdl@astound.net>
St. Cloud, MN - Wednesday, January 28, 2004 1:45 PM CST

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Thinking of you...I do every day. Really enjoyed the pictures and latest journal entries (through tears - sad and happy). Lots of prayers sent your way tonight.
Cathy Yanez
Saint Charles, MO - Wednesday, January 28, 2004 1:53 AM CST

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Alison,
I have not checked the website in some time. I am grateful to see that you countiue to keep us inspired with your updates. Thank you.
Beth Kanne <bethkanne@aol.com>
Naperville, IL - Friday, January 23, 2004 4:58 PM CST

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What a sweet girl.

How you must miss her.
M. Elton
Richmond, VA - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 10:47 PM CST

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Hi, Alison & Grant... sorry its been so long. It was great to see Michelle, Mike, Austin and Ethan when they came to New Madrid and stayed with Joella - they always love being in the country. We hope you call can come visit and ride the horses. It was VERY emotional to read your e-mail about Johnny - even after all the years it still hurts and now we've lost Alexandria and Beth. You are so blessed to have Johnny's rosary from Pat. She had given me his medal and chain which means a lot to me even though its worn. He was a wonderful father and brother - we all miss him. I can't help but cry thinking of all of them up there looking down and smiling. Holidays will never be the same. Hope to see you all.
Love, Aunt Nancy Kay
Nancy Hunter Moore <nancyk@semo.net>
New Madrid, MO - Tuesday, January 20, 2004 9:49 PM CST

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Grant and Allison,

I haven't posted in quite a while, but I haven't forgotten your angel. I think of her every day. I also think of the two of you every day. My prayers always carry a special favor to The Lord on your behalf. Alexandria will always be here in the heart of this stranger.


Billy <hollandkat@adelphia.net>
Ironton, Oh - Monday, January 19, 2004 10:44 PM CST

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I love the new pictures. You have such a beautiful family...You are all blessed to have been touched by an angel. As always thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
Cat
Cat Borkowski <RICHNCAT@OPTONLINE.NET>
Shoreham, NY - Sunday, January 18, 2004 8:26 PM CST

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Thinking of you. Keeping you in my prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, January 17, 2004 12:40 AM CST

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Hi Alison,
The pics of Alexandria and her sister and brothers are so precious. Thanks for sharing them with us! Keeping you in my prayers.
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Friday, January 16, 2004 9:36 PM CST

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Welcome back Alison, you were missed. Just wanted you to know that we were thinking about you today. Talk to you soon.
Love Sheryl

Sheryl Andrasko
O'Fallon, MO - Friday, January 16, 2004 6:55 PM CST

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Grant and Alison- I think of you and your family often. You are always in my prayers. I will be praying for Brendan from O'Fallon, I remember him from Children's, he is a sweetie!.
Shannon from Children's <skosk@charter.net>
O Fallon, MO - Friday, January 16, 2004 12:13 AM CST

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What beautiful children you have. Thank you for sharing. I watch for your updates often, as I find them uplifting and your thoughts/prayers keeps me in check with my own three children. Bless you.

Barb Maubach <bobarb82@msn.com>
Bloomington, IL USA - Thursday, January 15, 2004 8:19 PM CST

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Welcome home Alison! It was nice to see your update.
Sending loving thoughts, wishes, blessings your way.
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Wednesday, January 14, 2004 4:01 PM CST

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Welcome Home!! I know you were missed in the neighborhood. I hope all is well there. We are just staying warm here. It is record lows for Boston, great!!!!
Talk to you soon
Tracey
Tracey <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
Wrentham, MA - Wednesday, January 14, 2004 2:13 PM CST

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Alison,
Just checking in to see how you are doing. We continue to pray for your family daily.
Connie Gericke <Winninglineup1@cs.com>
O Fallon, - Wednesday, January 14, 2004 9:28 AM CST

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What a beautiful photo of your angel.
God bless

Patty Johnson <pkj577@bwsys.net>
- Tuesday, January 13, 2004 8:58 PM CST

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GREAT PICS Uncle Grant!
love ya'll, Aunt Michelle
Michelle Suter <michelle1210@yahoo.com>
Lewisville, TX - Monday, January 12, 2004 10:15 PM CST

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Alison: Thank you for sharing yet another wonderful photo of a special memory with your delightful daughter. I hope your trip was a safe one. May the Lord continue to strengthen and sustain you and Grant and your family.
Peggy S.
- Monday, January 12, 2004 9:06 PM CST

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Alison,
The pictures are gorgeous. Your kids are precious and your photographic talent is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing the pictures. Staring into Alexandria's huge blue eyes is a journey through my own emotions regarding her. I can't imagine how you do it. Praying for you always,
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Monday, January 12, 2004 9:41 AM CST

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Alison, the pictures are awesome of the kids. You always did take the best pictures - it also helps that the kids are so very precious! I happened to be going thru an old photo album yesterday and found one your your kids prior to baby Addison. I believe it was a Christmas photo. I think about you everyday and pray for inner peace for you. It hurts my heart to know that you have to experience such pain - anyone, really - but a long time friend such as you, that really hits home. I miss Alexandria too, we had a lot of good times together...

It was so nice of Pat to send you those pics. I'd love to see them someday - I'm sure Addison and Alexandria looked just like you. Btw...I found some old Jekyl Island pics of you and I in bikinis in 8th grade. Seems like yesterday, but then I add up the years and feel OLD! Now those were the days - I love my kids, but looking back - those were fun and carefree times.

I hope you enjoy your vacation. Plese call when you return.
Monica <mblummus@charter.net>
- Sunday, January 11, 2004 3:50 PM CST

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Hi Grant and Alison,
I love the new photos of your family. You have such photogenic children. Your family is in our prayers daily as you continue to show us your faith and courage. May we all learn from you.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, - Sunday, January 11, 2004 12:27 AM CST

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Always praying that you will some day find peace. I can not imagine my life without one of my children and certainly do not know the pain you have felt and continue to feel.

Please pray for the family of Sean Flanagan http://www.caringbridge.org/co/seandflanagan/
please pray for the family of Carter Finger
http://caringbridge.org/pa/carterfinger/
Nicole H <nhinnebusch@comcast.net>
- Saturday, January 10, 2004 11:53 PM CST

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Alison...Sorry was going to leave codys caringbridge sight..www.caringbridge.org/mi/codyspage. JILL
jill <jjzc3carfans@tc3net.com>
- Saturday, January 10, 2004 7:44 PM CST

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alison..you do not know me i got your sight from jacob mosely sight. your daughter is sooooo beautiful. I was breathless. God sure has a lot of beautiful children surrounding him. i only had a chance to read some of your entrys and am sitting here with tears flowing down my cheeks. My son cody passed away around 100 days pbmt. I really agree with your entry on wondering about the percentages for survival they give and also alarmed at the number of kids with previuos cancer who do not make it 100 days past bmt. All three boys who went theough transplant at U of M (michigan) had passed by the end of the year. I am also gald I am not the only one out there with feelings of anger. I just dont know what to do with those feelings sometimes. Another entry that really hit home, was of the last days and your daughter had the lung problems. Cody ended up with an infection in the lungs and was on o2 also. i often wondered if he was scared or in pain but he was such a tough little bugger he never complained. Two other entrys that I relate to are the one when you have to leave your child after they pass. It just does not seem right packing to leave the hosp without your child. Thaaaat was a very difficult time. Last but not least. I love the singing of the birthday with the cha, cha , cha..This is how we sang our birthday songs with our daughter who is still with us.(she is 11) From what I have read and seen of your daughter she reminds me of mine. She misses her brother terribly-she is now an only child. Well I have to get going. I pray for your family to find inner strength and peace now and for the days to come. Jill codys mommy forever..P.S. Cody passed 3 days after his 7 birthday on july 26, 2003
Jill brennan <jjzc3carfans@tc3net.com >
MI - Saturday, January 10, 2004 7:42 PM CST

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Hi Alison, Just love the new photos! Thanks for sharing them with us. I wanted to check in and say hi, and letting you know I was thinking of you today. Sending love, peace, and warm blessings your way!
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Saturday, January 10, 2004 2:40 PM CST

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Just a stranger THINKING of your whole family ... your Angel is BEAUTIFUL and it comforts others to know there are special angels already skipping with the Lord in Heaven ... we wish you happiness in 2004 ...

Rebekah Clark <rclark@jrhinc.com>
Prior Lake, MN USA - Saturday, January 10, 2004 12:22 AM CST

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Just a little note to say I'm missing you while you are out of town. Please have a save trip home. Call me when you get back.

God Bless,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Friday, January 9, 2004 1:48 PM CST

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Just stopping by to let your family know that I continue to think of you.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Thursday, January 8, 2004 2:19 PM CST

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Wishing you a safe journey. God bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendofkids.com>
St Louis, - Tuesday, January 6, 2004 7:50 AM CST

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Hey Alison. Just letting you know I was checking up on you. I think of you often. Praying for you! Here's a hug...(((()))).
Kellie McClendon
o fallon, mo 63366 - Monday, January 5, 2004 2:06 PM CST

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I just love the pictures!! I often forget to check the photos. I know you must just cherish them!!
Miss you so much
Tracey
Tracey <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, January 4, 2004 6:56 PM CST

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Alison, we missed spending New Year's again with you this year. I know this was a year of "firsts" for you, Grant and the kids. I only hope you were able to find peace and enjoy the time together as a family decreased by one. I'm here for you. Take care and hope to speak with you soon.
Monica Lummus <mblummus@charter.net>
Eureka, MO - Sunday, January 4, 2004 6:38 PM CST

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Hey there Alison! Just wanted you to know that you're on my mind and in my prayers today. I closed my site last night, but I'm pretty sure you have my e-mail. :) My New Years prayer for us all is that we find a tiny bit of joy in 2004. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Sunday, January 4, 2004 7:31 AM CST

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Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers.
Eileen Spratt <etspratt@aol.com>
Eureka, MO - Saturday, January 3, 2004 5:26 PM CST

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Hi Alison. I cannot put into words all of the feelings that I am having right now after reading a bit about you and your family. Your faith is amazing. Just as amazing as your little girl. I myself, have been having a little trouble with my faith lately. That "WHY!!!!!" just always seems to be there. But after reading about what you have been through, and how your faith is still so strong, really hit home for me and I want to thank you for that. I've found something that I thought might be lost, thanks to you. I realize that I have so very many things to be thankful for. So thank you Alison. Thank you for coming to visit Judd's site and leaving me a link to yours, and thank you for sharing a very personal part of your life with so many people. You've helped me, and I'm certain many others, more than you know.
Take care,
Paula Smith
Paula Smith www.caringbridge.org/ca/judson <jpjcsmith@hotmail.com>
Lion's Head, Canada - Saturday, January 3, 2004 3:49 PM CST

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Alison and Grant,
I pray for you much strength as you continue to experience all of these "firsts." Hunter, Hayden and Addison will always remember what special parents they have. I pray for a wonderful 2004 for all of you.
Grace and Peace,

Kristy <frascofit@aol.com>
Ballwin, MO - Saturday, January 3, 2004 9:42 AM CST

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Allison & Grant--I happened to come across this webpage while reading another one & have been GLUED to my computer since 9pm reading your journal entries (and have NOT finished yet). I am overwhelmed by all that Alexandria went through--what a truly amazing "angel" she must be because she sure was an "angel" on earth. Your story of her life is soooo profound--I think I could have finished reading it tonight if I wouldn't have had to wipe away the tears so many times. I love the stories you tell about your father & your other chilren. I am the very lucky mother of a healthy 18 year old son. But unfortunately I did have the saddness of losing my father 4 years ago this Mother's Day to a heart & lung disease--he was only 59 at the time. So, although I don't know exactly what you went through (and pray that I never have to know that kind of pain) I do know of something very similar & how it broke my heart. They say "time heals all wounds" & to a certain degree I guess that is true but time can NEVER take away the sweet & precious memories that you will hold forever in your heart. I WILL be coming back to finish the story of Alexandria--I just wish it had a happier ending. I'm very sorry for loss. I know that she is pain-free & living a much better life now than ANY of us can imagine. With that gorgeous smile of hers--I'm sure my dad is helping your dad watch over her. I got started on Caring Bridge pages when I met Michaela--she is a 14 (her b-day is today the 3rd) girl that lives where I live. She is also battling cancer & is getting ready to start chemo again--please pray for her & if you have a spare moment--check out her webpage:
www.caringbridge.org/sd/michaela. She loves to read all the entries & to get email!
You are in my thoughts!

Jodi Simerly <jlsimerly@yahoo.com>
Watertown, SD USA - Saturday, January 3, 2004 1:01 AM CST

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Happy New Year to you and your family. I pray that God folds you in his arms and gives you the strength to continue each day without your precious Alexandria.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Friday, January 2, 2004 7:56 PM CST

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Happy New Year Haddock Family
A Loving Soul
- Friday, January 2, 2004 1:15 PM CST

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Alison and Grant: Indeed, may 2004 be a better and blessed year for you and your family. May the Lord continue to strengthen and sustain each of you, and may He bring you the gift of His loving consolation.
Peggy S.
- Thursday, January 1, 2004 11:31 PM CST

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Happy New Year!! You inspire me so much. I am a teenager, and when things go wrong, I only have to read a website like yours to know that my life is simple compared to yours. A bad day for me is a hundreth of what a bad day is for you. You sound very positive. Keep you chin up and God bless.
Allison <sweetdreamer1989@yahoo.com>
Columbia, MO - Thursday, January 1, 2004 7:12 PM CST

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Hi Guys.. Greetings and Happy New Year from Kentucky.. Your Christmas sounded very intimate and cozy with the family. I'm sure these Firsts have to be excruciating to say the least. Your Angel Girl has everything she needs and is looking down upon you from a far Greater Place.. I bet the sights and sounds are unbelievable!! Bless you and keep you safe.. Love, Lisa
Lisa Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@msn.com>
- Thursday, January 1, 2004 6:48 PM CST

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I check on your web site often and your journal entries continue to insire me. You get such strong support from your family and friends and you have such a caring husband. May God continue to bring you comfort and strength in 2004.

Nancy Dalton <nancyd106@msn.com>
Wildwood, Mo - Thursday, January 1, 2004 11:48 AM CST

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Hello Haddocks, we're saying prayers for peace, comfort, strength and joy for you in 2004. The Stokes Family


Kathleen Maas-Stokes <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, January 1, 2004 7:46 AM CST

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That was a wonderful entry... God Bless and be eith you and your family in the New Year...
Kasey Gunde <kasey.gunde@delta.com>
Mount Holly, NC US - Thursday, January 1, 2004 4:50 AM CST

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HAPPY NEW YEAR
In Love & Prayer...Eleasha & Cody & Greg & Riley & Jeremy & Marina <ehilliard@verizon.net>
www.forcody.org, - Wednesday, December 31, 2003 11:49 PM CST

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Hi Alison and Grant,
I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers during this rough holiday season. And I'm wishing you a very HAPPY 2004 NEW YEAR.
May the Lord bless you in the coming year, comforting and guiding you and blessing you with good health.
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Wednesday, December 31, 2003 3:39 PM CST

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Alison & Grant, At the Garden, Alexandria's camellia has tiny pink buds on it and should bloom in a few weeks. Douglas and Annie said a prayer for her by it, and I pray that you find peace and God's blessings in 2004.
Love, Mary & Bill
Mary Morgan <bmo8230600@aol.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Wednesday, December 31, 2003 9:23 AM CST

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Alison-

Hey girlfriend!!! As I was reading your journal entry (not easy through tears) about the wonderful gift Pat sent you all I could think about was we need to get all of it in SCRAPBOOKS!!!!!! HEE HEE I know I need help!! Don't we all. Thank you again for making Eric's birthday Sunday so wonderful!! We had so much fun. He talked about how much fun he had all evening long. Happy New Year!! Talk to you soon. (Probably today)

God Bless,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, December 31, 2003 8:20 AM CST

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Alison, I too am sitting here with eyes full of tears. Your details of your precious dad, your childhood memories, the horse you rode, the letters your sisters wrote to your dad, what priceless memories. Thank you once again for bringing reality to life for us who read your journal entries. You certainly know how to bring things to life. I am constantly amazed at your enlightenment, your strength, your courage to move forward. Your wanting to help other families, like your own who had to deal with or are dealing with childhood cancer, comforting them, praying for them, letting them know there are people who care and think of them in their time of need, who want to help any way they can. I can go on and on, but we who come to this site, know how much you are living God's will. You are God's will in all our lives. We see God and his handy work through you, Alison. You are such a blessing, an inspiration to us all, and God will continue to bring you peace, love, blessings, and even a magnificient life, despite your loss because you are so open and willing to live his will. Alexandria lives on through you. Her spirit is in your heart. And that will never die.
May you all have a Happy New Year.
God bless all of you. Know that you are loved GREATLY!
Lynn <lynn.imbesi@optonline.net>
Long Island , NY USA - Wednesday, December 31, 2003 7:17 AM CST

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Thank you to your wonderful step mom for the gift she sent you. There are no words that can say how valuable thse pictures are to you. I know it is hard to loose a child and to go on for the others. My son died ten years ago today. I have gone on, thanks to so many friends who listened to and prayed for me. but as a mama we never forget. my prayers go with you that the pain will be lessened for you...
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, December 30, 2003 6:47 PM CST

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I am typing this with tears streaming down my face- your pain is unthinkable. What a precious gift your stepmom sent- her timing was perfect, as I know any message from beyond is a comfort. You do have so much to be thankful for... yet you have so much to be angry and sad about. It's a very difficult thing for a mere mortal to manage, and you are doing it so well. I looked at my kids Christmas morning, and thanked God above for their health and prayed for it to continue. I'm so sorry that you, and so many other families have lost a precious child. Take good care of yourself.
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
- Tuesday, December 30, 2003 9:20 AM CST

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I just want you to know that you and your family are always on my heart and I check on you as often as I can. Take care as best you can and know that you are loved, cared for and prayed for.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, December 29, 2003 9:02 AM CST

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Alison,
I just want you to know you have been in my thoughts this past week. I am sure it was not an easy time of year for you or your family. I pray that you will feel the love of the many people who know you and those of us who feel like we know you. You are a very special lady. You and Alexandria have taught us some very important life lessons.
My prayers will continue to be with you and your family.
Tonya <tonyalloyd70@hotmail.com /www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 11:09 PM CST

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Dear Alison
I pray that Christmas was bearable for you. I really don't know which is worse, having to grin and bear it all for other children...or not having any other children to grin and bear it for?!?!? I some times think I have it 'easier'; I can curl up in a ball and block out the rest of the world...if that's what I need. But, my house is much too quiet these days. There just isn't any easy way to live thru this, is there? So many unanswered questions, so many WHY'S going on in our hearts. Please know that I pray for you still today. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) www.caringbridge.org/il/legoman
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 10:52 PM CST

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Hello My Dear Friends,
Just dropping in to say "Hello"
Our thoughts and prayers are with you!!
Love ya,
Nancy
Nancy Cole <nancycole@charter.net>
Ofallon, - Sunday, December 28, 2003 9:08 PM CST

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Hello, this is Neena, Taylor's Mom. I just wanted to say I have been thinking of you through this holiday season. I guess we have both made it through our first. For me it was not to pleasant and it sounds as if I did not handle it as well as you. I do have my faith and belief, but my heart still aches. I can only imagine the pain without the knowledge I have. Plese keep in touch and know that I think of you and your little angel often. www.caringbridge.com/va/taylor
Neena <Neena04@aol.com>
Portsmouth, VA - Sunday, December 28, 2003 6:18 PM CST

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What an emotional entry...I've been thinking of your family and your daughter's first Christmas with Christ. You are such an amazing person...and I pray for your continued strength. Thanks for sharing your life and Alexandria's life with so many...I can never say enough how inspiring you both are.
Jenifer
Wash.Twp., NJ - Sunday, December 28, 2003 2:57 PM CST

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Thinking of all of you during this holiday season. God Bless you!
Cat
Cat Borkowski <RICHNCAT@optonline.net>
Shoreham, NY - Saturday, December 27, 2003 1:15 PM CST

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Dear Haddock Bunch,
Just wanted to send LOTS OF LOVE from our home to yours!
The Cole Clan
Nancy Cole <nancycole@charter.net>
Ofallon, - Friday, December 26, 2003 9:10 PM CST

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Hello Haddock Family,
Just sending out a big hug (((()))) for you today. Thinking of you and praying for you!

Kellie McClendon <ckmcclendon@yahoo.com>
O Fallon, mo - Friday, December 26, 2003 4:41 PM CST

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Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you all today. I can't imagine how difficult this day was but I know you had a love filled Christmas.
We love you!
The Mazur's
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 8:49 PM CST

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Thinking of you today....
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Thursday, December 25, 2003 9:59 AM CST

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Wishing you a blessed Christmas.
The Morgans
Mary Morgan <bmo8230600@aol.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Thursday, December 25, 2003 1:49 AM CST

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Dearest Haddock Family,
Sending much LOVE and PRAYERS!!!
The Cole Family
Nancy Cole <nancycole@charter.net>
Ofallon, - Thursday, December 25, 2003 0:58 AM CST

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Dear Haddock Family,
I am keeping all of you close to my heart and in my prayers this Christmas Eve, knowing that you are missing your sweet angel. God Bless.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Wednesday, December 24, 2003 11:55 PM CST

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Dear Alison,

Thinking of you, your family and your beautiful angel Alexandria on this Christmas Eve. We pray God gives you strength and peace during the holidays. Just imagine the celebration they are having in heaven! We wish you all health and happiness in the new year!! God Bless you all!


Kelli Giles Lanza <klanza@fuse.net>
Cincinnati, OH - Wednesday, December 24, 2003 9:24 PM CST

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Praying for peace in your heart this holiday season.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Wednesday, December 24, 2003 6:37 PM CST

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Hello-

I know we talk all the time now, but I wanted to take the time to say have a Merry Christmas and thank you for being my friend. Not a day goes by that I'm not thinking about you. My heart is hurting knowing how much pain you are in this season and pray that our Lord is with you more than ever now. I have a dry shoulder if you need one. Alexandria will always have a big part of my heart forever!!! Talk to you soon. (Probably today even!! Hee Hee)

God Bless,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, December 24, 2003 11:09 AM CST

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Just wanted to stop by and let you know I'm thinking of you and wishing you all a warm and happy Holiday season and a New Year filled with love, peace and comfort.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, December 24, 2003 8:23 AM CST

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Alison,
May God bless and comfort you and your family during the holidays.

Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Wednesday, December 24, 2003 8:00 AM CST

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Thinking of you & yours this Christmas season. May you find some happy times in the next few days along with your memories of wonderful Christmases in the past. May God continue to watch over you and bless you richly in 2004.


Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ont Canada - Wednesday, December 24, 2003 6:56 AM CST

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Alison: May you, Grant, and the kids share a blessed Christmas filled with love and sharing. May the Lord continue to strengthen and sustain you each day.
Peggy S.
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 11:25 PM CST

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Dear Haddocks,
Our thoughts and Prayers are with you all!!
Love to All,
Nancy
Nancy Cole <nancycole@charter.net>
Ofallon, - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 5:40 PM CST

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Thinking of you and hope you, Grant and the kids can have a good Christmas, in spite of it not being the one you'd like.
Kathleen Maas-Stokes <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 11:38 AM CST

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Alison,
Thinking of you and your beautiful,most inspirational family as you go through this season with your glorious angel watching over you through all the smiles and the tears...you're on my mind and in my prayers.
Jenifer
Wash.Twp., NJ - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 10:07 AM CST

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Alison, I feel like I avoid(ed) the moms of angels, try to be polite and offer condolences initially, but then dodge you like the black plaque. I feel like you guys graduated to a club I want nothing to do with. I feel like I don’t know what to say or how to say it, and in reality know there are no words to say to lessen the pain and grief. I remember in the beginning of our journey with this, when people asked what they could do, thinking, "unless you can go back in time and take away that sentence telling me, and undo that day, that diagnosis - there's nothing anyone can do...", so how can I possibly think I can relate to you guys? Then I feel it’s like adding salt to the wound, that my child is doing well. That’s most certainly not meant to you personally, but I used to look at healthy kids when Ron was first diagnosed and wonder what was so great about them, why not one of them instead?, and I have no doubt in your shoes I would really need a break from seeing everyone else's healthy kids, or kids doing well. I know you parents who have faced the unthinkable loss all revel in another child making it and doing well, but it still has to hurt. I look at the kids who dont make it and try to find the defining line, the one thing to comfort me into thinking "okay, well it wont happen to us because"... and too often there is no dividing line. I don’t really know what the point of this is, but I do wish you well and a peaceful holiday season, no matter what you celebrate, and most of all an uneventful (unless its good events) 2004, filled with good memories of your loved ones.
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 6:59 AM CST

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"Fear Not," said the angel, "For I bring you tidings of great joy. For unto you is born this day in Bethlehem - a Saviour who is Christ the Lord."

"And this shall be a sign unto you. You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger."


MERRY CHRISTMAS!
In Love & Prayer...Eleasha & Cody <ehilliard@verizon.net>
www.forcody.org, - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 0:50 AM CST

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Alison,
I can only imagine how difficult these holidays must be for you and your family. I have thought about you often during this holiday season and prayed for you daily. Thank you for your journal entries and please continue to update all of us on your daily lives. I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas, and I'm sure Alexandria will be with you in spirit through it all.
Connie Gericke <Winninglineup1@cs.com>
O'fallon, MO - Monday, December 22, 2003 9:34 PM CST

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Just wanted to let you know that you and your family continue to be in my prayers.
gail <Thegabelfamily@aol.com>
southaven, MS - Monday, December 22, 2003 7:22 PM CST

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Stoppin' by to say I was thinking of you guys..wishing you Merry Christmas.
Hugs
Heather Grell <hiyah75@yahoo.com>
Brainerd, MN - Monday, December 22, 2003 10:21 AM CST

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Alison,
It was so good to talk to you today...and we didn't even get each other REALLY down! I stop by and check in on you and Alexandria's website at least once a day, but don't sign the guestbook. Usually I just don't have the words to "make it better." Please know that I pray for your family daily. My thoughts are with you. Have a good visit with your sister! I hope we can get together after the holidays. Call if you need to talk.
Love,

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O' Fallon, MO - Sunday, December 21, 2003 10:10 PM CST

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Thinking of Alexandria and all of you during this Christmas season. God Bless you.
Love,
Jean


Jean - Quilts of Love <quiltsoflove@quiltsoflove.com>
- Sunday, December 21, 2003 12:45 AM CST

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Alison, I continue to visit Alexandria's site and many times I wish I had some profound words of comfort to offer. My thoughts and prayers are always with you and may the pure 'reason for this season' carry you through. Also, the new front pic is precious--what a pretty young lady.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Sunday, December 21, 2003 11:34 AM CST

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Ok, I know it may seem strange to get two notes from me in one day but the strangest thing just happened and I wanted to let you know. After I signed the guestbook I read a letter that my neice had sent me in her Christmas card. She had been talking about doing a half marathon for a while and she decided to do it for Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. She sent me a form for donations and as I read who she is running for the little girls name was Kailie and she is 12 years old. I had to call her today to make an appointment to get Jake's haircut and asked her if by any chance the little girls last name is Rhines and it is! I know they are your friends and I have always prayed for them along with your family. I think God and Alexandria were working together on this one!
Nancy Balkenbusch <nbalken@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Saturday, December 20, 2003 1:09 PM CST

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Just wanted to let you know that we continue to check on you and always keep you in our prayers!
Nancy Balkenbusch <nbalken@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Saturday, December 20, 2003 9:11 AM CST

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Hi Grant, Alison and kids,
Those were darling photos of the kids, as usual. My thoughts and prayers wre with you during the next few weeks, again, as usual. May you find some small degree of comfort in the ageless religious rituals of the season.
Love, Ms.Pam

Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO USA - Saturday, December 20, 2003 7:36 AM CST

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It sounds like Michelle & family will be spending Xmas with you, which is wonderful. I know how hard the next few days are going to be, but wanted to let you know I'm putting your promised package in the mail EARLY in the morning for priority delivery, so look for it before Xmas. A note is inside to explain some of the pictures, etc. I'm definitely not looking forward to Monday, but on the 24th, Courtney, Brantley, John & I are driving to Big Cedar outside of Branson to spend Xmas in a cabin in the woods. I plan to build a big fire in the fireplace, open a bottle of wine, and toast Johnny & Alexandria that night - I think they would like that. Someone in an earlier entry said you have this wonderful gift of REMEMBERING, and that is so true. I have some wonderful Xmas memories of your dad - he always waited until the last minute to shop, which resulted in some pretty interesting gifts - the kids can really tell some funny stories about being dragged around the mall with him in a panic on Xmas eve! I hope some of the old photos will be wonderful memories for you as I know he loved you very much. We'll be thinking of you, Grant and the kids this Xmas, as always in our prayers, Pat
Pat Hunter <thehunters@semo.net>
Dexter, MO - Friday, December 19, 2003 11:00 PM CST

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It has been ages since I've been by your site, and I am so sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I continue to think of your family and Angel Alexandria.

I sincerely hope that the holidays have a sense of your little Angel nearby. God Bless your family always.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Friday, December 19, 2003 7:06 PM CST

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I heard this song on a website, and found the words to it on another. From the moment I heard it, I thought of Alexandria and your family....



Streets Of Heaven: Sherrie Austin

Hello God, it's me again. 2:00 a.m., Room 304.
Visiting hours are over, time for our bedside tug of war.
This sleeping child between us may not make it through the night.
I'm fighting back the tears as she fights for her life.
Well, it must be kind of crowded,
On the streets of Heaven.
So tell me: what do you need her for?
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.
But right now I need her so much more.
She's much too young to be on her own:
Barely just turned seven.
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?

Tell me God, do you remember the wishes that she made,
As she blew out the candles on her last birthday cake?
She wants to ride a pony when she'd big enough.
She wants to marry her Daddy when she's all grown up.

Well, it must be kind of crowded,
On the streets of Heaven.
So tell me: what do you need her for?
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.
But right now I need her so much more.
She's much too young to be on her own:
Barely just turned seven.
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?

Lord, don't you know she's my angel
You got plenty of your own
And I know you hold a place for her
But she's already got a home
Well I don't know if you're listenin'
But praying is all that's left to do
So I ask you Lord have mercy, you lost a son once too

And it must be kind of crowded,
On the streets of Heaven.
So tell me: what do you need her for?
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.
But right now I need her so much more.
Lord, I know once you've made up your mind,
There's no use in beggin'.
So if you take her with you today, will you make sure she looks both ways,
And would you hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven.

The streets of Heaven.

Jenifer
Wash.Twp., NJ - Thursday, December 18, 2003 4:42 PM CST

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i can't speak for anyone else, but i check in because you write so beautifully.. even tho i've never met you, i think of you and hope that you are finding some peace.. i found your site from another, drawn to it because my son is best friends with an alexandria nicole in another state.. and then i found someone who writes so poignantly and beautifully.. and makes me appreciate my children so much more every day. you're in my thoughts and prayers.. god bless (and by the way, alexandria is beautiful!)
mary burns
Albany, NY - Wednesday, December 17, 2003 6:34 PM CST

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You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your memories with us. We love you all.
Tracey
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, December 17, 2003 2:37 PM CST

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What a absolutely gorgeous photo of your very beautiful daughter, Alexandria on the website. She looks so grown up with her pink rose wrist corsage! I know this Christmas season will be hard on you. I hope the true meaning of Christmas helps you get through the season. May God continue to watch over you and your family.


Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, ON Canada - Wednesday, December 17, 2003 1:17 PM CST

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It's been many months since I have come to this site....and for some reason, as I was typing in the name of a completely different web site, yours popped up.
We get so wrapped up in the glitter of the season, and we feel so charitable when we put our money in the salvation army kettle, and we wrap presents for the needy--many of whom we will never meet--and sometimes we forget the other needy in our lives.
I lost my mother several years ago, right before Christmas, so I understand, in a way, the hole you feel at this time.
But, in time, you will realize that you have been given a wonderful gift without knowing it....and that is the gift of Remembering.
I pray that God will continue to hold you and help to heal the hole you have in your heart and that you can look towards the manger and realize that, like Jesus, your daughter has conquered death.
Peace
Janice Frisella
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, December 17, 2003 7:40 AM CST

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Alison: What a special visit from your wonderful angel. Thank the good Lord for His blessings.
Peggy S.
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 11:21 PM CST

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Alison, Grant and Family
I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you today. I know that this is a hard time of the year. Holidays, especially first ones without our children, are so hard. I'm glad you had a dream about Alexandria and could feel some peace. Your journal entries are always so inspirational. Thanks for sharing. God Bless you and your family this Christmas season.
Love,

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 9:25 PM CST

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Just thinking of you and praying for peace and comfort for your family, now and always. May you be blessed with countless dreams/moments of Alexandria like the other night.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 6:13 PM CST

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What an absolutely beautiful child Alexandria was. She seems to jump right out at you from the pictures. I know how much you miss her and I am so sorry for your loss.
Lynn
St. Peters, MO - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:52 PM CST

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What an absolutely beautiful child Alexandria was. She seems to jump right out at you from the pictures. I know how much you miss her and I am so sorry for your loss.
Lynn
St. Peters, MO - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:42 PM CST

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What a beautiful visit from Alexandria- I'm sure she planned it for your Christmas present. What an angel.
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 1:46 PM CST

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Thanks for sharing your story. I think about Alexandria often. My prayers are with you and your family always. Grace and Peace,

Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 10:22 AM CST

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Prayers for you and thoughts of you and other families who are hurting.
Kathleen Maas-Stokes <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 9:59 AM CST

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You know I have an answer for dealing with the cold my dear sister- MOVE SOUTH!!!! HA HA! I want it not just for you, but for my own selfish reasons also- I want you to be closer to me, your kids closer to mine and your dear hubby closer to his partner in crime- UNCLE MICHAEL!!!! I hope it will happen soon-although I know all your buddies (especially Nancy) would just cringe at the thought!! See you this weekend! I'll be there soon to cry along with you....it's not going to be an easy holiday, but none of them are anymore.........love, Michelle
MICHELLE SUTER (Alexandria's aunt forever) <michelles@bluemountainsportswear.com>
Dallas, TX USA - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 8:19 AM CST

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Good morning Haddocks. I had goosebumps after reading your last two journal entries. How AWESOME it must have been to have Alexandria come to you in your dreams! I'll be praying for many more dreams like that for you. God bless you all!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 8:17 AM CST

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Your family is so inspirational. The love you have for each other and the faith you have in your Lord speaks volumes. Alexandria has left such a legacy, and I visit your site often to be inspired. Your words of honesty-describing your sadness and emotional exhaustion over the unthinkable happening to you, yet in the next paragraph proclaiming what a comfort it is to have the assurance that your beautiful daughter is with the Lord and that you will one day reunite is incredible. You are reaching out and touching so many in Alexandria's name, and to see a family who is giving when so much has been taken away is nothing less than amazing.
Only by the grace of God are my children healthy, and you and other caringbridge families have taught me to give under these circumstances...do something now. Seeing how much you do for others when you could justifiably sit home and be angry at the world is what inspires me. That is why I continue to visit your site. And seeing pictures of your angel while she was here on earth always make me smile...those eyes...just seeing her smile shows what a wonderful life you gave her here.
Thank you for inspiring me to be the best mother and Christian I can each day because we arent' guaranteed tomorrow.
Jenifer
Wash.Twp., NJ - Monday, December 15, 2003 8:23 PM CST

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Alison,
The picture you posted of Alexandria is just beautiful. You are in my thoughts and prayers especially right now. I too wish we could hibernate and wake up a couple months later. I am thankful my children know the meaning of Christmas is more than just presents and santa. That God sent his son, and that this year their brother will be celebrating Jesus' birthday along with Alexandria. The thought of what that celebration must be like is almost too awesome to imagine.
Love,
Lisa Jacob's mommy forever
Lisa Mosley <paulmosley@juno.com>
- Monday, December 15, 2003 5:04 PM CST

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Alison, people continue to come here in droves because of the intense presence of the Holy Spirit that exudes from the story of Alexandria and your beautiful family as you work through the grief of her death. The Lord said if HE be lifted up from the Earth HE will draw ALL men unto Himself. People come here because no one can resist the pull of the Holy Spirit that comes from Alexandria's life--plain and simple. I pray that you are encouraged that there are people, even now, who are being saved through the story of what your family has been through and how much you all love Jesus in spite of the tremendously difficult trial you've been through. Know that you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers and I love you dearly. Blessings and I will check in on you again soon.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Monday, December 15, 2003 3:43 PM CST

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My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas Trees
Around the world below
With tiny lights
Like heaven's stars
Reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular
Please wipe away that tear
For I am spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year

I hear the many Christmas songs
That people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
With the Christmas choir up here

I have no words to tell you
The joy their voices bring
For it is beyond description
To hear the angels sing

I know how much you miss me
I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away
We really aren't apart

So be happy for me dear ones
You know I hold you dear
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year

I send you each a special gift
From my heavenly home above
I send you each a memory of
My undying love

After all "love" is the gift
More precious than pure gold
It was always most important
In the stories Jesus told

Please love and keep each other
As my Father said to do
For I can't count the blessing
Or love he has for each of you

So have a Merry Christmas
And wipe away that tear
Remember I am spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

Author Unknown

*>*
- Friday, December 12, 2003 6:16 AM CST

---

Good Grief Alison, sorry it's been so long since I've posted a message (doesn't mean I haven't been lurking that's for SURE :O) I think about you all the time. I could REALLY use some Ambien. I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep. I guess right now I can't take any (and I know I won't be able to after the baby is born) so my sleepless nights will continue (hopefully filled with less thoughts of Meghan's horrific journey and moreso with a happy, healthy, crying newborn). Anyway, please know that even though I don't sign in daily, I do check daily (sometimes more than once :) Hugs to you. You're always in my thoughts and prayers (ps: I was so intrigued by your guestbook entry about writing a whole thing and then losing it :o) I was like....what? what happened?? Made me laugh anyway since that's happened to me before. Anyway, take care (as best you can).
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Thursday, December 11, 2003 7:34 PM CST

---

I gently wrap warm thoughts of you
in my christmas prayers
For Heaven to smile on you
For Angels to watch over you
and the love of Jesus to fill your heart
Have A Merry Christmas
God Bless You And Your Family This Holiday

Have a Marry Christmas and a Blessed New Year

Chris Ullrich - Grand-daughter dx with AML M5 <c_ullrich@msn.com, www.caringbridge.com/page/isabellaledesma >
Hemingford, Ne USA - Thursday, December 11, 2003 6:38 PM CST

---

Alison,
I will be including baby Brooke in my prayers. I know what she has is very serious at such a young age. I go to Gooch's page everyday, and you are right, this just doesn't make sense. Way too many kids have died lately, and there are so many relapses. I do think a lot of it is chemical related. Even microwaving now in plastics can be dangerous. I know when I had my first child, I stopped my lawn service because I read an article in a magazine about cancer being related to things we spray and put on our lawns. It's all pretty scary. My husband is pretty convinced his second cancer that he had was caused by chemical relation. He has read a lot of web sites and info since diagnosed and he has come to that conclusion. God, it is so awful, I just pray that a cure is found sometime soon. Take care and God bless.
Love,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, December 10, 2003 11:33 PM CST

---

Hi Alison,

I came to your site through Davins after seeing an entry you made in his guest book. I found this poem written by another mother who lost a child. Since I can't comprehend your pain there aren't fitting words for me to say but I know she can.

WHY

Why I must ask
because I don't understand
how you can choose
I cannot comprehend

many children around the world
are diagnosed everyday
and the only way to heal them
is to sit down and pray

so why do some make it
and move on with their life
and why do some die
after all their pain and strife

you hear things like Lord heal my daughter
or please comfort my son
let them grow up
and live life and have fun

but still after hearing
all of these cries
you are still able to pick
who will live and who must die

so how do you choose
who lives and who dies
and for once in my life
I think I know why

the solution I feel
is so easily found
that it would have bit me
if it were a snake on the ground

you made us all unique,
and different in some way
and the outcome of your will
we can't change no matter how much we pray

because this was your will
for their short lives
and through the pain of this dreadful disease
they did strive

and because it took cancer
for them to fulfill your will
they did what they had to do
and they stood by you still

they are great servants for you
and touched people everyday
and though sometimes we might not have seen it
many were affected in a special way

their smile their laughs
their actions and their humor
they touched lives through
everything that they were

and now as they sit in heaven
right beside you
I know that some day
I'll see them again too..

Paige Overhultz

Take Care & Stay Strong

Laura Hinkle
Weddington, NC USA - Wednesday, December 10, 2003 10:58 PM CST

---

Hello! Sierra and I (mom) just wanted you to know
that we came by to read your daughters story! Just Beautiful! Hope that your family has a Merry Christmas!
www.sierrasjourney.com
www.caringbridge.org/fl/sierra Hugs Shay & Sierra
shaylene factor <Journey1414@aol.com>
mims, fl USA - Tuesday, December 9, 2003 11:43 AM CST

---

What a beautiful girl! I was guided here from Katia's page. Please know you are being prayed for today. God bless.
Eileen www.caringbridge.org/il/ej -------all are invited to visit my page
- Monday, December 8, 2003 11:07 PM CST

---

I haven't signed in a while but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of and praying for you constantly. You and your family have made indelible marks on my heart that I will carry into eternity. Blessings to you during this joyous and I'm sure very difficult time of the year. I will check in on you again soon.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Monday, December 8, 2003 10:49 AM CST

---

Hi Girlfriend,
Just thought I would say HELLO!!
Now, I guess I'll try your cellphone(HAHAHAHA)!
Love Ya,
Nancy
Nancy <nancycole@charter.net>
Ofallon, - Monday, December 8, 2003 9:39 AM CST

---

I got here somehow, I cant believe what I just read. I am so, so sorry for your loss. May God Bless you and your family now and always.

Kim Daniele <JERRKKA@AOL.COM>
Sacramento, CA USA - Monday, December 8, 2003 0:27 AM CST

---

Love Angel Toto <pat_totoofoz@yahoo.com>
- Sunday, December 7, 2003 10:38 PM CST

---

I haven't signed in for ages, but do check the website often to see how you guys are doing. We were in New Madrid for Thanksgiving with the whole "clan" and it does remind me how quickly life does go on - you just have to get on board as best you can! Support from family & friends can be a lifesaver, and you obviously are blessed to have lots of that. Busy packing, working and getting ready for the Nashville move around middle of January. I'm sending a package of old photos I've found for you (promise to do this before Christmas) and I'm searching for something special from Johnny - want it to be just right and I'll know it when I find it! I haven't forgotten you - am just slow to follow through sometimes. Keeping all of you in my prayers.
Pat <thehunters@semo.net>
Dexter, MO - Sunday, December 7, 2003 10:11 AM CST

---

Still thinking of you all!
Paula <manko@charter.net>
- Saturday, December 6, 2003 8:47 PM CST

---

Thinking of you and your angel today.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Friday, December 5, 2003 8:33 AM CST

---

I found your site through another CB site. I am so sorry for your loss and all the pain you've endured since the day your daughter was diagnosed. I am praying for your family.
Rachel Meade <meadex4@yahoo.com>
Youngstown, OH - Thursday, December 4, 2003 11:42 PM CST

---

I'm really at a loss for words. Know thoughts & prayers are with you. Take care.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Thursday, December 4, 2003 5:18 PM CST

---

Alison, I am totally amazed at your courage and strength. You, to me, are everything someone should be. I am so glad you had a good Thanksgiving and that you were able to spend the time with your sister and her family. I only wish that I could have the strength that you show in your updates. Hug your three earthly children and blow another kiss to your heavenly daughter. And Grant, you are a wonderful husband going for moral support to the doctor with your wife. Too many times, excuses get in the way. Thank you for putting your priorities straight and showing the rest of us what we should be doing. May you continue on the straight and narrow road ahead and may God richly bless you and your family. With loving thoughts, Mary Lou
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, ON Canada - Thursday, December 4, 2003 12:01 AM CST

---

Grant & Alison: I want you to know I think of you daily and as so many have said before me, "your faith & Alexandria's story have changed me forever". I want to share your story with so many people, my friends, my church, those searching in the dark. Although this may seem as a crucial part in your healing, it is worth so much more. Tell your kids hello from mine....I wonder if the boys remember Timmy? I remember how thoughful you were to come down and introduce yourself when we first moved to St. Louis. You brought homemade cookies! Sending our love from Ohio!
Anne Merten <amerten@msn.com>
Westerville, OH USA - Thursday, December 4, 2003 7:58 AM CST

---

Hi Alison, just dropping by to catch up! As usual, I enjoyed your entry and the tears were a'flowin'... Hope I get to see you next weekend when we are in town. Keep sleeping in that Heavenly Peace..God Bless... Love, Lisa
Lisa Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@msn.com>
Florence, Kentucky - Thursday, December 4, 2003 7:25 AM CST

---

I was here. I continue to follow you and to pray for you and your family. I lost a son 10 years ago this month.We always hear that GOD will not send us more than we(and HE together) can not handle, but it gets pretty close sometimes don't it?
Sharon <sholweger5@yahoo.com>
Dardanelle , AR - Thursday, December 4, 2003 7:00 AM CST

---

Hi Alison! Tonight was, I'm embarrassed to say, my first vistit to Alexandria's Angels (however, I've checked on Connor B. through Caringbridge). I was so completely touched, and my eyes weren't dry for long! You have amazing strength, and I pray that you continue to heal daily. I hope your holidays are joyfilled, and I hope to bump into you soon! :0) Take care- Marian
Marian Taylor <MTaylor330@hotmail.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Thursday, December 4, 2003 0:37 AM CST

---

Thanks for sharing the story of your beautiful little girl. Praise God that we have His hope for a future together without pain or tears, crying or dying, or ever saying, "Goodbye."
Carol A. Ranney <ranneyclan@juno.com>
Tigard, OR USA - Thursday, December 4, 2003 0:29 AM CST

---

Hi Allison,
I am letting you know that I stopped by to see one of my favorite pictures of Alexandria in her golden dress. I am glad that you had a nice Thanksgiving. I can certainly understand why filling out the form at the drs. office was so difficult. Your reaction was perfectly normal to such questions. Glad the Ambien is working, that has to be a blessing to finally get a good night sleep. Take care of yourself, and I still pray for you and your family often.
Love,
Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 10:28 PM CST

---

Hello Haddock's from acrossed the state in Kansas. We continue to count our blessings and keep your family in our prayers. How you all go on from day to day is purely amazing to us but it is so obvious that you have such tremendous help from Above. I know God will continue to guide you.
Scott and Dana Vena <forchiefs@aol.com>
Overland Park, KS - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 8:51 PM CST

---

hello,
i don't sign the guestbook very often, but I felt like I needed to today. Your entry was very touching. I don't think I could go through what you have and are still going through. It was kinda weird when I looked at the pictures of Alexandria in the guestbook. I look alot like her when I was little. I don't know if that helps, but the similarities were a little scary and they startled me. Also, I think the name Alexandria is an amazing and beautiful name, for a beautiful child. Thank you for still journalling. May God watch over you.
Allison <sweetdreamer1989@yahoo.com>
Columbia, MO - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 5:47 PM CST

---

Hallelujah for the Ambien- I was hoping you would find something that would help you sleep. I often take benadryl at night so that I can fall asleep quickly, without having to think about "things". I hope you continue to take it- don't worry about the addiction- that's silly. I'm addicted to sleep myself. My heart goes out to Mackenzie's family- unbelievably tragic. I will pray for them and you, as always.
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
- Wednesday, December 3, 2003 5:07 PM CST

---

Alison, Just wanted to stop by and say Hi! I haven't signed your guestbook in forever! but I check on you every week. Your sweet Alexandria touched my life forever, I found your page shortly after my daughter Amanda was diagnosed with Leukemia. I read your journals faithfully, and you have given me strength through what you have said more than once. I also have a family in our neighborhood who has a story so similar to the one you shared. They have 5 kids all girls and one little boy. The little boy Mikey has clear cell sarcoma, and 30 days after his diagnoses, his dad was diagnosed with Ewings Sarcoma, he is 33. Thank you for Alexandrias Angels, and all you have done for so many people.
Tonya Lloyd <tonyalloyd70@hotmail.com /www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
- Wednesday, December 3, 2003 4:44 PM CST

---

just wanted to tell you that i still check in on you and yours.. i feel like i know you from reading your entries, and i'm sure that if i did, we'd be friends.. please know that there are so many out here who think of your beautiful angel,even tho we never got to meet her in person. thank you for taking us along on your journey..
mary burns
Albany, NY - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 4:34 PM CST

---

Ok Alison,
For a brief moment in the beginning of the entry, I really thought you were going to tell us you were pregnant. I could barely contain myself. You showed all the signs: crying, nausea, anxiety, what more do you need!!!
However, my heart quickly went into my throat when I heard the terrible news of Mackenzie. I cannot even imagine what that whole family is going through. We have had many talks about God's plan but for the life of me, I cannot understand this plan. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.
I miss you all so much. Thanks for the invite to your party this weekend! hahahahahahah.
Lots of hugs and love (no kisses this time a year, right?)
Tracey
Tracey <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
Wrentham, MA - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 1:09 PM CST

---

Allison,
I have read you guestbbok many times maybe even signed once or twice. I know that I emailed you just at the time that you changed your email address so I'm not even sure that you got the email. (not that I expected a response.) I check on many, many Caringbridge sites daily way too many children is all that I can say.

I work full-time buy also do volunteer work for St Jude Children's Research Hospital. I have often said that it is my life's work. Although at times bittersweet, my wish is to someday see the doors of St Jude close and for there to be a much needed cure for these many diseases. I makes my truly sick.

I wish that we lived closer because I would love to have meet Alex as well as now help you with a few events. Thank you for always putting you heart and soul into all you entries as well as making us all laugh and cry.

God bless you and you family

Love
Karen Viteritti <kviteritti@yahoo.com>
Florham Park, NJ USA - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 12:21 AM CST

---

So glad you are sleeping! Thanks for another wonderful entry!
Kristen <kbbly@aol.com>
- Wednesday, December 3, 2003 11:29 AM CST

---

I love you Alison. Remember that I am here anytime. All you need to do is call. I loved reading your entry. I hear you. I haven't lost a child so I know the grief doesn't compare but there are just those "unexpected things that can get you". I still stutter when someone calls and asks for my dad on the phone...anyways, just wanted to let you know you're on my heart. Blessings.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 9:59 AM CST

---

Thinking of you today and thankful you are getting some much needed rest.
Love,
Jenni
Jenni Burford <jennib@cox-internet.com>
Bentonville, AR - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 9:40 AM CST

---

Thinking of you. As usual, your journal entry was so very beautiful and touching. Thank you so very much for continuing to share your journey with us. God bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 7:50 AM CST

---

Alison,
I am thankful for the Ambien.
Judy
- Wednesday, December 3, 2003 7:29 AM CST

---

Good morning and God bless.
Mary
Manchester , MO - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 7:28 AM CST

---

Hi - thinking of you all...
Kathleen <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Wednesday, December 3, 2003 6:30 AM CST

---

Dear Alison,
You are so right, I never saw Alexandria complain about her trips to get chemo or blood!! As long as she had some "HOT WINGS" for the road trip down highway 40, she was good to go!!
Alexandria always had a smile on her face and something funny or just "charming" to say!!

Alexandria makes my heart smile when I think of her!

Love You,
Nancy
Nancy Cole <nancycole@charter.net>
Ofallon, mo - Tuesday, December 2, 2003 9:21 AM CST

---

Hi Alison, I just wanted to let you know how glad I was to have met you. You are as warm and loving in person as you are in your entries. And every time you see the pink angel I brought you, please remember that there are a lot of people out there who have been touched by your family's endurance and we keep praying for you guys, and sending love & peace to you always.
Lynn (Jeanine's sister-in-law) <limbesi@optonline.net>
Long Island, NY USA - Monday, December 1, 2003 7:17 PM CST

---

Hi Haddocks's. I was thinking of your family and praying for you over the Thansksgiving weekend. I hope you are feeling better from that stomache flu, and were able to eat some turkey over the weekend.
Love,
Judy
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il United States - Monday, December 1, 2003 11:05 AM CST

---

Just want you to know that Alexandria is in my heart and on my mind today..


Carolyn <carolynj52@ilovejesus.net>
- Sunday, November 30, 2003 10:00 PM CST

---

Thinking of you..
Kasey Gunde <kasey.gunde@delta.com>
Mount Holly, NC US - Saturday, November 29, 2003 5:18 AM CST

---

Alison,
I just wanted you to know you and your family were in our hearts and prayers yesterday. I hope your family had a nice Thanksgiving. I can't imagine how difficult these holidays must be for you, I will continue to pray for your family.

Connie Gericke <Winninglineup1@cs.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Friday, November 28, 2003 12:04 AM CST

---

Thanksgiving blessings to all of you. Been thinking of you
a lot lately and will keep you in my prayers.
Mary Morgan <bmo8230600@aol.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Thursday, November 27, 2003 8:57 PM CST

---

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Thinking of you...
Kasey Gunde <topgund@aol.com>
Mount Holly, NC US - Thursday, November 27, 2003 8:48 PM CST

---

Thinking of you today, and always.
The Bly Family <kbbly@aol.com>
- Thursday, November 27, 2003 12:35 AM CST

---

I am sorry for you loss. Your little girl is beautiful! May God bless you during this holiday season, Laura
www.caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer <foryoucolton@aol.com >
- Thursday, November 27, 2003 11:53 AM CST

---

Sending prayers for your family to have a very blessed Thanksgiving.

http://lightingchildrenslives.org
Melanie Davila- Lighting Children's Lives <positivestories@aol.com>
- Thursday, November 27, 2003 9:20 AM CST

---

Allison, Grant and Kids:

We are thinkng of you all today and pray you have a "happy" Thanksgiving. Love, Pete, Melissa & kids
The Days <melissaday@insightbb.com>
- Thursday, November 27, 2003 8:25 AM CST

---

Hi just wanted to stop by and wish you guys a good Thanksgiving, God bless

P.s. I love the pictures a Alexandria she is so beautiful I'm sure she is even more beautiful now in heaven.
sally <sally_torres@lusknet.com>
anaheim, - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 6:13 PM CST

---

Prayers for a peaceful Thanksgiving for your family. Kathleen
Kathleen Maas-Stokes <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 6:09 PM CST

---

I'm praying for you and your family, this Thanksgiving season. In Christ,
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 8:49 AM CST

---

Just wanted to drop by and wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. God bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 7:41 AM CST

---

Dear Alison, Grant and Family,
I was just reading some of your recent journal entries and was moved to tears (again). Alison, I would understand if you stopped the journal (as you mentioned you had thought of at one time), but I must say, your entries are beautiful. You bring up things I would never have considered. I think your story is a love story in many ways - I had to stop reading when I read that Grant packed up most of Alexandria's things, knowing how difficult this would be for you. It is true that many of us are changed now as your guestbook entries reveal. Alexandria is still touching many lives, as you well know. God Bless!
Cathy Yanez <gethsemanem1435@yahoo.com>
Saint Charles, MO - Tuesday, November 25, 2003 10:41 PM CST

---

Dear Alison,
Every time I look at your daughter's imp-ish smile ...I smile too. What a darling child.
Thank you for your thoughtful insites. I will be thinking of you and your amazing family when I bow my head at our dinner table on Thanksgiving. God Bless you and Angel Alexandria.
Eileen and Molly <fitnjpro@aol.com>
- Tuesday, November 25, 2003 5:45 PM CST

---

Alison, Grant and Family: I'm thankful to have met you and your beautiful Angel. As Thanksgiving approaches I will be thinking of last year and the hope we all had for a cure for our children and will again hope for a cure for those that come behind us on their transplant journey. My thoughts and prayers are always with you.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Tuesday, November 25, 2003 8:51 AM CST

---

Alison: I hope this week finds you and Grant and the family all recovered from that stomach bug. With Alexandria encouraging you from above, may you and yours share a blessed Thanksgiving.
Peggy S.
- Monday, November 24, 2003 11:36 PM CST

---

Alison,
I know that this is a hard week for you for all of us spending our first Thanksgiving without one of our children. I just wanted you to know your in my prayers.
Love,
Lisa (Jacob's mommy forever)
Lisa Mosley <paulmosley@juno.com>
St. Peters, - Monday, November 24, 2003 10:44 PM CST

---

Alison, May your family have a peaceful Thanksgiving surrounded by loving friends and family.
Sending caring thoughts your way,
Karin, Anna's Mom (and now Jack's too) <olssonka@yahoo.com>
Fenton, MO - Monday, November 24, 2003 2:46 PM CST

---

Alison,

Although I don't sign often, I check in all the time. Your honesty and beautiful words have made a difference in the way that I look at life. Putting yourself out there the way you do is difficult, but you and Alexandria have a tremendous impact on others. Thank you for your wonderful journal entries.

Much Love,
Kristen <kbbly@aol.com>
- Monday, November 24, 2003 10:12 AM CST

---

Alison,
Not a day goes by that I do not check this website, not only when I lived directly next door to you but more importantly living 1200 miles away from you. It gives me the feeling of closeness to you and your family. I don't know what I would do if you stopped your entries. They are a true inspiration to me and my family. You always shed light on different aspects of my live and so many others. I feel connected to you through this and so much more. Please, please don't every stop the stories, they are memories of your beautiful daughter and they are memories of the present.
I miss you more than you know. We love you all.
Tracey
Tracey <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
Wrentham, MA - Sunday, November 23, 2003 10:29 AM CST

---

Dear Alison,
Thank you so much for coming by ANGEL COLBY's site. It is always encourageing to hear from others and to go back and visit with them. GOD BLESS. I read your entry, and can say that I feel your pain and emptiness all too well!!! Just missing our PRECIOUS ANGELS ENDLESSLY! I miss my COLBY so much that I could sit and cry and cry and cry!!! I still do cry everyday, but I just don,t have the time to sit and do it. "THANK GOD." And I understand your feelings about the cemetary also as I go and visit ANGEL COLBY on my way to work, and on my way home from work almost everyday. I also stop on my way to church, and on my way home from church every Sunday. Right now, I just need that!!! Well, hope all is going as well as can be expected with you all and we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Sending lots of love from above - ANGEL COLBY JAMES COLE AND CREW.
jack - colby's daddy forever and ever
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby, UNIONTOWN PA - Sunday, November 23, 2003 8:26 AM CST

---

Hi Allison, How my heart goes out to you, and I sure know how it feels to be ill. I can't imagine what these children go through day in and day out. About the cemetary, here where I lived, a lady actually was stealing things off the sites. She was 86 yrs old, and we were all amazed at her actions. They found everything, and is asking families to go claim their property. I think it is just terrible that people can actually do this sort of thing. To think that you put that their for a remembrance, and they steal it. Just breaks my heart. I don't think children realize what they do when they plan in the cemetary, I know I never liked them as a child, but I knew kids that would. Always told them it was wrong. It didn't matter, guess they don't always know.

I sat here and read your story and felt like I was there with you. You will always be in my heart and prayers, and your daughter is just precious! God bless you sweetie!

Angels for Hope

Kelly -Angels for Hope <Kelly@angelsforhope.org>
Bay City, MI USA - Sunday, November 23, 2003 0:40 AM CST

---

Dear Alison,
About two months ago I was extremely nauseaous for about a week straight because of some new medicine I was taking, and all I could think of was how do the Caringbridge children do this. I too am in awe of all of them. Thinking of them and all they go through did give me strength not to complain to my family about how awful I felt, but all the kids were on my mind constantly throughout that week. I don't blame you for wanting a fence put up. It upsets "me" to hear of the kids running around and I am not her mother, so I can only imagine how you must have felt. I agree kids will be kids, but I would hope that most parents would teach their kids that it is inappropriate to run around in grave yards playing games. I know Thanksgiving is just around the corner and it will be the first one without Alexandria. I will pray that God gets you through the upcoming week, even though I am sure it will be difficult. God bless always.
Love,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Saturday, November 22, 2003 10:47 PM CST

---

Thinking of you and praying for you. You are very loved. I'll keep checking in on you.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Saturday, November 22, 2003 6:24 PM CST

---

Sending loving thoughts and prayers your way - as always. As we gather to give thanks next week, I will be thankful for you sharing your daughter and her/your story with us. We are all truly blessed to be able to visit this site and read your journal entries (new and old). There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of all of you.
Ann O'Neil <ann@fjaproducts.com>
San Diego, CA - Friday, November 21, 2003 10:15 PM CST

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Alison,
I am so sorry that you have all been sick. Yes, it does bring back those memories and keep us in awe at how much pain our kids endured to try to save their lives. I had some dental work done today, and as the dentist was drilling (I get so anxious in the dentist chair, anyway) and he kept hitting spots that sent that pain up your jaw, I kept thinking about how trivial it must be next to what Matthew and Alexendria endured. They were such heroes - such a shining example of courage simply by living the life that they were given with Leukemia. Good to see another update. I tried to call the other night, but I guess you were in bed where you needed to be and Alexandria was right there taking care of you, just like you took such good care of her when she needed it.

I will try to catch you this weekend.
Love,

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O' Fallon, MO - Friday, November 21, 2003 9:54 PM CST

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Alison,
I've posted on your site before, but once Alexandria passed I was lost for words to say. I've followed a few children on Caringbridge. Unfortunately, I didn't get to know Alexandria well enough to feel that my words could make a difference to you. I do want you to know one thing though.....your family has NEVER left my prayers. I've prayed for your, Meghan's, and Shane's families, as well as Colby's, Seth's and Jillian's, every day. I pray for you all every single day! Of all the angels roaming this earth, I feel privileged to have collided with yours. I remember reading a while back that you were relying on The Lord. Stay with Him.....Alexandria is waiting on you to get where she is!!!!!! I pray that you are finding the strength to look ahead and not behind. God Bless!!!!
Billy Bruce <hollandkat@adelphia.net>
Ironton, Oh - Friday, November 21, 2003 8:51 PM CST

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Alison: Grant is absolutely right. We (and I apologize for including myself, but I never thought of it his way either) are leaving a kind of legacy in writing for our children's future spouses and children to learn about someone they will never meet but who helped shape the person their husband/wife or dad/mom now is. What an amazing thing that is. Unfortunately I don't have alot of years under my belt in telling Meghan's story and by this I mean, she was only here two and a half short years so the stories about her character, stamina and the person she was are smaller in comparison with Alexandria's short life. Sometimes I feel that I've told all Meghan's stories and that pains me a great deal not to have a story to tell someone because they've probably heard them all. Oh well, look at me, writing a journal entry on your site :o) My love to you all especially during this holiday season. The next few months for us will be harder and harder as each day goes on. Please know I check in on you daily (see, I stalk too)......My prayers are with you.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Thursday, November 20, 2003 8:02 PM CST

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I have not been by for a few weeks, and smiled when I read that you had donated your hair to Locks of Love. I became familiar with this organization when the little girls in my son's primary school (K-2) were donating their hair to the same exact place. What a wonderful idea, and how proud these little girls must feel, helping other children they don't even know.

I hope that, despite the LONG trip to TX, you all had a good visit. And, that the projectile vomiting the night you got back home didn't turn into much more than that.

As for the possibility of you stopping this website...obviously that is your own choice but I for one have grown close to a little girl and her family, all complete strangers. Although you might find yourself grieving during journal entries, they do not seem repetitive in the least bit to me. If anything, they help me to realize your pain, which I have never had myself. I cannot imagine losing one of my children. When our hometown lost a little boy last Christmas, I slowly started "expanding" my CaringBridge bookmarks and now have 25 children that I check in on. Some are babies; others teenagers. Some are alive and, unfortunately, some have passed on. Some had already passed when I started visiting their websites. ALL of them touch me in some way or another. And your words are so very strong. Your testiments are so very strong. I believe that your children, and grandchildren, will SO ENJOY having this journal of their sweet Alexandria. Your own children are too young to remember so many details later on in their own lives. You are kind enough to capture the thoughts and feelings of your whole family for them. And, unselfishly, you share these thoughts with complete strangers. For that I am one of thousands that thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Take care & God Bless,

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Thursday, November 20, 2003 3:37 PM CST

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Alison,
It is so understandable why you may want to stop the journal updates, what ever will be the best for your own well being. Those of us who have been so touched & changed by your heartfelt & honest feelings so beautifully expressed in your writing will miss the updates & the anecdotes. You have a gift in your ability to write & let people see, (for lack of a better term)--the good the bad & the ugly. I just so admire your strength & ability to keep going & letting so many people see the reality of the cancer beast. I, for one, find inspiration in every entry you have made.
Funny, my sister is Dede Roth (guestbook entry from today, we both must have visited Alexandria's site at nearly the same time without knowing!). I have put it all together, I knew your sister, Michelle, in High School at Cape Central.

Thanks for sharing.
Eileen Spratt <etspratt@aol.com>
Eureka, MO - Thursday, November 20, 2003 12:41 AM CST

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Adorable picture. Thanks for sharing. We're thinking of you as this up and coming season approaches. Please be OK.
Love Dede, Roth
Dede Roth <www.caringbridge.org/mo/jackiesjourney pjroth@bigrivertel.net>
Cape Girardeau, Mo - Thursday, November 20, 2003 11:54 AM CST

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Wow - what a beautiful journal entry. I know I'm not the only only who continually feels touched by the words that you share. You are truly a blessing from above. Take care and God bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Thursday, November 20, 2003 8:17 AM CST

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I feel pretty much the same as eveyone else who visits your site (Alexandria's site). I'm completely addicted. It's like a great book that you just can't put down. I tell and re-tell your stories to whomever will listen! I told the PORN one at my family dinner table on Sunday and we were ALL in tears.. Sorry Hunter! But it's so compelling to be moved to tears and at the same time be laughing so hard that it hurts!! Amd as I sit here and read today, my daughter, Lindley, came over and wanted me to teach her how to draw a Star!! Out of the blue - intent on making this Perfect star - as I sit here and read about Alexandria and her impact on so many lives! Is it a sign - from up above? I believe it is. So please, please continue with your Story that is so very important to all of us and touches us in so many ways.. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! And have a blessed Thanksgiving with your beautiful family.. Always thinking about you.. Love, Lisa
p.s. We are coming on the 12th of December - lets have a girls get together!!!
Lisa Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@msn.com>
Florence, Kentucky - Thursday, November 20, 2003 7:49 AM CST

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Please, please do not think of stopping your journal!!! You have touched my life so much with your words! I hear God, talking to me through so often!! I never tired to hearing you. I can speak for myself, but I never hear you saying the same thing over and over. Don't worry about what to say or if your saying the same thing over and over. What comes from your hands typing is truely God sent! What a GIFT you have! Do not let this gift go! Just take a look at how many times your website has been visited, that speaks for it's self. As for me, I am a better person, mother, daughter, sister, coworker, and friend because of caringbridge. And Alexandria's website is on my favorites here at work and at home that I visit very often! Please once again, do not end this journal.... God Bless you...
Kasey Gunde <Kasey.Gunde@delta.com>
Mount Holly, NC US - Thursday, November 20, 2003 7:31 AM CST

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First, I'd like to say to Grant, "what a beautiful e-mail you sent to Alison." Then, I'd like to say to Alison, "please do not stop this journal." You write so eloquently and beautifully and it is a gift and tribute to Alexandria and blesses so many people. I will be praying that you will continue to write.
Love,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, November 19, 2003 11:14 PM CST

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Alison-

Part of me wants to say "You are not going to do what anymore??" But then there's the part of me that has watched a dear friend suffer with some of the ill comments on the site, sharing whole heartedly your emotions, life, and passions, the responsiblity of making sure (while holding the hand of a sick child) that everyone in cyber-space is up to date on everything, the list is endless. I do believe, though, God answered your question with Grant's letter (which I have to admit left me in tears! The love between you both is sooo AWESOME). Your journal entries have moved me in ways you will never know. Alexandria's site has done so much for all of us!!! Her nieces, nephews, siblings, etc. will know everything about her because there is not one of us out there that each day doesn't talk about how she has changed our lives. I am so blessed to be able to call you my friends!!

God Bless you both,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, November 19, 2003 10:33 PM CST

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Dear Alison,
Please do not end the journal. For one thing, you will be bombarded with telephone calls from people who care and who are "just checking up on you." Plus, you'll just have to give out the same information twenty or more times a day, and your email will be hopelessly clogged. Secondly, we all want to hear your thoughts; your ideas; your concerns. I have not walked in your shoes, but seriously doubt if I would have the same grace you and Grant display. (Great letter, Grant!) You are a textbook on dealing with a personal catastrophe and continue to inspire your faithful friends and readers. Finding a publisher should not be a problem.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO USA - Wednesday, November 19, 2003 4:45 PM CST

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Dearest Family of Alexandria
Just stoppping by today to leave thoughts and hugs..and let you know that I'm thinking of Alexandria today..Her picture on your front page is adorable..Hugs Carolyn



Carolyn <carolynj52@ilovejesus.net>
- Wednesday, November 19, 2003 10:18 AM CST

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Haddock Family,

Sending loving thoughts, prayers and blessings your way!
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Tuesday, November 18, 2003 2:40 PM CST

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Alison,
Wanted to let you know we are thinking of you all today. I know this date of every month is so difficult.
We love you
Tracey
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
Wrentham, MA - Monday, November 17, 2003 6:35 PM CST

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Alison,
Your "Road Trip" sounded...I can't find the word I want. You sister is lucky to have you there for her. I know that she has done/does so much for you. I'm glad that you could be there for her. I think about you often and am always glad to read your updates and see that you are "surviving." I know that the holidays are right around the corner and they will be hard for both of our families. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers. Call/e-mail me any time...I'm here for you if you need to talk. I'm sorry I haven't talked to your for a while. I think about you and your precious Alexandria daily.
Love

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Sunday, November 16, 2003 8:26 PM CST

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Once again, singing "You Are My All In All" at church this morning, when closing my eyes and singing, could see nothing more that a beautiful, precious Alexandria in her sparkling gold dance costume. She was here such a "small" amount of time, but had such a "big" impact on many. She and your family have blessed me in many ways. I will continue to check on you from time to time, and pray for your family often.
In His love,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Sunday, November 16, 2003 11:51 AM CST

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Thinking of you and glad to hear you took a road trip, despite the trials ;)
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
- Sunday, November 16, 2003 1:34 AM CST

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Hi Haddocks!

Your entry brought back alot of memories. We used to drive between Boston and Kansas City at Christmas. We didn't have a DVD player (we had benedryl...just kidding)! Thanks for sharing your trip with us! Pulling up your website and seeing that precious face just brightens our day. You are all very special to us and we wanted to let you know you are always in our thoughts and prayers and it is so awesome how Alexandria's testimony just continues to shine and reach so many!
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, - Friday, November 14, 2003 6:44 PM CST

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You have a wonderful sister Alison,,,but then again ..you deserve it. Your journal entries are absolutely amazing. You are an inspiration to all those who are walking in your shoes. I hope you dont mind that I have sent your site to canada to a family who's 11 year old is facing the reality of a rare and fatal cartilage cancer. His family will find comfort from those who have experienced this nightmare. They are so lost..you are such an inspiration that I thought of you and Alexandria immediatly. I am so sorry that you have been chosen to be a mentor..but it is a fact...you speak to the heart when you write in your journal. When Molly got sick, my most important calls and advice came from those who had been through this kind of trial. God is in my heart..and I am grateful to you for all of your insites.
Yours truly
Eileen and Molly
Eileen Healy <fitnjpro@aol.com>
- Friday, November 14, 2003 5:16 PM CST

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My Dearest sister,
I don't write here often because we talk on the phone so much. I wanted to publicly thank you for coming to visit. I had such a good time, and the great time the kids had is so meaningful to me and to them. Our children will always have a special bond because they have been through some very "thick and thin" times together. I know you know, but I probably don't tell you often enough how much I love, admire and respect you and Grant both. Thanks for letting me be such a big part of your family's life and especially a big part of Alexandria's, then and now. Nov. 7th brings back such haunting memories, the phone call, packing my bags, "moving into" your house in Ellisville, being totally postpartum (Ethan was 19 days old), waiting, praying, dealing with the unbelieveable horror of what could happen, searching for answers, trying to understand all of this, missing Michael who was thousands of miles away, and the reality of what was to come the next 2.5 years. Wow, we've come such a long way, yet it seems like yesterday she was here with us. The road ahead is still long and hard. I will always be here for you, with all my heart and soul.
Love,
Michelle
Michelle Suter <michelle1210@yahoo.com>
Lewisville, TX - Friday, November 14, 2003 10:46 AM CST

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Hi Alison,
Just checking in and wanted to say "hi". Alexandria in her gold outfit is absolutely adorable! Great photos.
Keeping you in my prayers!
Kathy Haws
1000 Oaks, CA - Thursday, November 13, 2003 11:41 PM CST

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Hi Alison,
Just "lurking" by today to let you know that I am thinking of your family and remembering all of you in prayer. I am very impressed by the trip...DEFINITELY super mom!!
Love,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Thursday, November 13, 2003 10:42 PM CST

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Hi Alison,
Ditto on the last entry from Pam. You are so amazing. I'm glad you had the opportunity to visit with your sister. I'm sure she appreciates everything you have done to get there to be with her in her time of need. You give the word "sister" such great meaning! Thanks once again, for pouring your heart out and sharing your journey with us. It is greatly appreciated! You would make such an incredible author. Your writing is so deep and heartfelt. You make the reader feel like they are right there with you, every step of the way. My prayers are with you always.
Lynn <limbesi@optonline.net>
Long Island, NY USA - Thursday, November 13, 2003 10:35 AM CST

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Hi Alison,
I don't know how you keep it up! Three young children, 650 miles to drive, a horrid back and no Grant, yet you kept going to be with your sister in her time of need! You are truly an inspiration to all who read Alexandria's website. You write about faith and love and show us how to practice it every day. You and your family are incredible!
Love,
Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO - Thursday, November 13, 2003 7:06 AM CST

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This is Taylor's mom. I would like to talk with you on the phone sometime. If you wouldn't mind I would like to call you if you would e-mail me your phone number. Maybe we could help each other out sometimes. Especially with the holidays coming up. I ordered your shirt for you. Thanks alot for the support. I think the project will be a real success. Please e-mail me if you don't mind. Take care, Neena www.caringbridge.com/va/taylor
Neena Hancock <Neena04@aol.com>
Portsmouth, VA - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 6:58 PM CST

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Just checking in to see how you all are doing. Sounds like the trip went fairly good. So sorry about your back. What a treasure finding those cameras with pictures of your sweet little girl. Pretty quick thinking on the porn is a type of gun I would have believed you. Take care. Can't wait to see the photos of the framed portrait I bet it is stunning.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 12:22 AM CST

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Dear Alison, it hurts my heart to look at the pictures of your beautiful little girl and to think that God gave her to you for just a short while before taking her back home. I dont know how you handle it. But i do know life goes on. And you still have two more children to care for and love. It sure appears that your doing a super job of that, especially vacationing alone two against one! Your brave! We'll keep you in our prayers. Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Fackerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 10:45 AM CST

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Alison -- I'm even more in awe of you........a ten hour car ride w/just you and the kids!! You are a brave woman or I could just call you "Super Mom"! :) Thank you for continuing to share w/us. Your faith is inspiring. I've been lurking for months but only occasionaly sign in. Alexandria is a precious gift from God and what a blessing you are Alison. We have all come to love your angel.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you." Isaiah 41:10
Tammy <tsholston@aol.com>
B'ham, AL - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 8:43 PM CST

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Alison: Certainly Alexandria was a remarkable and special young lady, but she also just as certainly was blessed with remarkable and special parents. May the Lord continue to strengthen and sustain you and bless you and yours with His loving consolation.
Peggy S.
- Tuesday, November 11, 2003 6:38 PM CST

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Alison,
I have read your journals for quite somerime send a few emails to you, I even read Sissy journals from beginning to end. What a beautiful child and sister she was and is (as she is now with you in spirit) I check on many Caring Bridge families and children I just wish that there weren't so many to check up on. I have been arould Cancer by entire life. I have always been involved with St Jude as a volunteer since I was about 15 or so. I went to visit the hospital the first time at a young age (luckly not as a patient) Sometimes it makes me so angry that so many children have to suffer it should never be that way.

No child should have to fight for there life until they are 100. I really just wanted to say how I know that you are a wonderful Mother person wife and friend, and how sorry I am that you were one of the ones to loose a child. I thank you for sharing you good times and bad times and all the feelings in between and if there is anything that I can do for you just ask

Thank you for keeping Sissy alive in our memory

Love
Karen Viteritti <kviteritti@yahoo.com>
Florham Park , NJ USA - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 4:09 PM CST

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I have been checking up on you for many months.
Your updates always move me to tears.
The love you feel for your daughter shows thru in every word you write.
Just isn't fair, is it?????
GEMMA'S JOURNAL
Sandra <luigitumminelli@virgilio.it>
Sicily. Italy - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 3:32 PM CST

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I'm so glad you were able to get away with the kids. Dallas is a great city! It sounds like a fun weekend despite the long drive! I think about you and your family often.
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 11:53 AM CST

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You and your husband display so much courage and strength! Alison, you give your long hair so that a child can have a wig. All four of your children must be so very proud of their wonderful parents. God Bless!
Mary Lou Thomson
Exeter, Ontario Canada - Monday, November 10, 2003 2:44 PM CST

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just wanted you to know that i still check in on beautiful alexandra's family.. even tho i only knew her in cyber-space she touched my heart.. thinking of you as you go thru these very hard times.
M Burns
Albany, NY - Saturday, November 8, 2003 2:36 PM CST

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Hi Allison,
I just wanted to let you know your in my thoughts and prayers this holiday season. I myself wish I could fast forward through this time. Being without Jacob will be unbearable. I have to find away to do this for my other kids though I know. Especially Abbey who is 5. Your journal has expressed so many of the feelings I have had, it makes it easier to know I am not alone. Take care.
Love,
Lisa
Lisa Mosley <paulmosley@juno.com>
- Saturday, November 8, 2003 11:55 AM CST

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Just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as you face the challenging days ahead. I know that the holidays will be hard this year, and I hope that you don't feel bad about wishing you could skip Christmas. I am sure that everyone that has to face the holidays without their precious child would feel the same way. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Lisa
Seattle, WA USA - Saturday, November 8, 2003 1:33 AM CST

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Dear Alison and Grant,
My thoughts and prayers are with you always, but expecially on this day. I hope that you know how much Alexandria has touched all of us, and how often you have taught us the true meaning of faith and love.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO - Friday, November 7, 2003 7:15 PM CST

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Dear Alison and Grant, I was present at the golf tournament and watched as you kept things organized and fun! Thank you so much for the way you have chosen to memorialize your beautiful little girl. I am Kenneth Shiels' grandmother, Sue's mom, and I am so impressed by all of you!!
Wanda McDowell
Waterloo, Iowa USA - Friday, November 7, 2003 7:03 PM CST

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Praying for you especially today. May God give you peace and comfort.
Love,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Friday, November 7, 2003 6:35 PM CST

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I know that today is a hard day for you. I will pray you have some much needed peace today and that it is not as difficult as you anticipated. God bles syou
sally <sally_torres@lusknet.com>
- Friday, November 7, 2003 6:08 PM CST

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Hi Haddock family,

You are in our thoughts and prayers today. Remember, we are right next door if you need anything.

Love Sheryl
Sheryl Andrasko
- Friday, November 7, 2003 4:36 PM CST

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Hi Haddock family,

You are in our thoughts and prayers today. Remember, we are right next door if you need anything.

Love Sheryl
Sheryl Andrasko
- Friday, November 7, 2003 4:36 PM CST

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Just want you to know I still check in on you. My prayers are with you today and often.
Paula <manko@charter.net>
- Friday, November 7, 2003 1:25 PM CST

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Hello Haddock Family, Just letting you know you are in my thoughts today. Anniversaries of sad events can be so hard. I will be praying for you today. Also, I read your Journal entry about hearing "mommy". I think it was her too. What an amazing gift! That is just awesome! Isn't the LORD just wonderful! Can't you just hear him saying "go on Alexandria sweetheart...tell her hi". God bless you!!! See ya.

Kellie McClendon
- Friday, November 7, 2003 12:52 AM CST

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Dear Alison & Grant,
Just want you to know that you are in my prayers so much!
I can still remember Nov. 7th, just a few years ago, when we were told about Alexandria sickness at our "Moms Bible Study Group" that we attended together at St. Mark!!
Alison and Grant you are both such wonderful loving parents and I believe that Alexandia felt that love surrounding her everyday!!
Always remember that Alexandria's beautiful,healthy spirit lives within all of us!!
Love to All,
Nancy
Nancy Cole <nancycole@charter.net>
O'fallon, - Friday, November 7, 2003 10:29 AM CST

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JUST SITTING HERE REMEMBERING HOW I FELT HEARING THE NEWS ON NOVEMBER 7, 2001. I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT PHONE CALL. I MISS THAT LITTLE GIRL SO MUCH. PRAYING FOR THE FAMILY TODAY AND EVERYDAY.
MEMAW & PAWPAW <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO ST FRANCOIS - Thursday, November 6, 2003 11:51 PM CST

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Hello this is Neena (Taylor's Mom). Just checking in to see how you are doing. I would like to talk with you sometime. I am having a very hard time and need someone to talk with who understands my feelings. I just miss my little girl and like you remember so well the times we would snuggle in bed and watch TV together all alone. It is memories like those I will cherish forever. E-mail me and if you don't mind leave your number and I will call soon. Thanks, Neena www.caringbridge.com/va/taylor
Neena <neena04@aol.com>
Portsmouth, VA - Thursday, November 6, 2003 11:27 PM CST

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Always in my thoughts and prayers. You are such a great inspiration to us all; I hope you really know that! That is awesome about the Lock's for Love.
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy)www.caringbridge.org/mo/kristangrace <dlblank@showme.net>
Scott City, MO SCOTT - Thursday, November 6, 2003 9:06 PM CST

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The #'s are sure coming up fast to 200,00!! Maybe she does have something to do with it? :)
Kasey Gunde <topgund@aol.com>
Mount Holly, NC US - Thursday, November 6, 2003 5:12 PM CST

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I don't know why you are so amazed that so many come to this site. you never fail to inspire me or make me thankful for each and everyday that I have on this earth with my children by my side. I can certainly empathize with you about getting through the songs in church, I never fail to cry during this time, my thoughts always turn to the sweet children who have been lost to leukemia. We are at a new church so I am sure that many there think that I am crazy! My youngest daughter has also donated her hair to locks of love, at the age of 9 she had 15 inches cut off. she is almost to the point of being able to do it again. I am very proud of her for thinking of other children who may need it. she saw what her sister went through and I think that she felt as if that was one thing she could do to help. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you all!
Debby........................................http://www.caringbridge.org/oh/emilyroberts/ <djfrro@aol.com>
- Thursday, November 6, 2003 4:49 PM CST

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Hi Alison!
I have been reading your journal for almost a year, but I don't know that I've ever signed your guestbook! I wanted to do so today to let you know that I can completely relate to how you feel about Christmas. When I was 16, my father died on December 18 - one week before Christmas and 8 days before my birthday. I think the concensus in my family is that we'd all prefer to skip the holiday entirely, but somehow we muddle through. I can only imagine how difficult the holidays will be for you, but I know that Alexandria will be watching over all of you. Thanks for continuing to share your journey and your memories of your beautiful daughter with us! God bless you and your family!
Justine Germaine Kessler
Madison, WI - Thursday, November 6, 2003 4:24 PM CST

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Alison, you continue to amaze me and move me to tears. I cannot get through reading a journal entry without reaching for a tissue to wipe the tears away! Your entries are so heartfelt, that I learn so much from them each and every time I read them. I keep coming back just to be fed spiritually. I love hearing about your experiences and the way you express your grief. You are truly doing God's work in this world. Your precious angel up above has to be smiling down on you, so proud of her mommy continuing her mission in life, to help others and spreading her love around!
Thank you again for being so open and honest, and heartfelt with all of us who continue to check up on you and your family, and sending you love & blessings.
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Thursday, November 6, 2003 3:46 PM CST

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Alison- You are so incredible to donate your hair. That is truly a labor of love. I bet your morning routine is much shorter now minus 12 inches of hair to deal with. Pete had a wonderful time at the golf outing and visiting you and Grant and the kids. The holidays will be so hard this year- you must be dreading them. I bet you'll get through it and even enjoy some parts of them though- given your awesome family and friends. We thought of you on Halloween- it's such a children's holiday... We think of you all of the time- take care of yourself.
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
- Thursday, November 6, 2003 9:01 AM CST

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Hi Alison and Grant, just a short note to say God Bless and we are thinking of you all. Surround yourself with all your great friends this Holiday Season and know that Alexandria is helping make all our Wishes come true!!! Take care.. Love, Lisa....
Lisa Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@msn.com>
Florence, Ky - Thursday, November 6, 2003 6:43 AM CST

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Still checking in on you and "lurking". You are always in my prayers.
Love,
Jenni
Jenni Burford <jennib@cox-internet.com>
Bentonville, AR - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 10:42 PM CST

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Alison,
Thanks for the updates. I haven't been to your site in a while. so glad you had a successful tournament. I am sure Alexandria was there.Praying for you...


Nancy Dalton <nancyd106@msn.com>
wildwood, mo - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 9:56 PM CST

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Just wanted to let you know I'm still checking in on your family, and still keeping you in my prayers. Thank you for still posting and letting us all know how you're doing. I know how much you miss your sweet girl, and I'm usually in tears when I leave your site, but I am also smiling at your descriptions of Alexandria looking down on you all from heaven.

Take care,
Kathi (Melanie's mom, t-cell ALL, in maintenance now) <mom2melanie@chartermi.net>
Cadillac, MI - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 9:29 PM CST

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Bless you! Thinking and praying for you. Just wanted to let you know I was here. And you will be in thoughts again this friday. I will say a special prayer for you and your family that day. ))HUGS((
Kasey Gunde <topgund@aol.com>
Mount Holly, NC US - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 8:22 PM CST

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Stopping by to say hello-your family is always in my prayers.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 5:37 PM CST

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Grant and Alsion,
I have trouble packing or giving away my kid's "baby" things, I cannot imagine the depth of your emotions while packing Alexandria's possessions. I visit your website for many reasons--to keep tabs on you and how you are doing, to read the unbelievable ways Alexandria keeps working in people's lives and to help keep myself focused on the important aspects of our family life rather than the various soccer, dance and piano lessons that fill our evenings. While it is of little solace, please know that Alexandria will live forever in the hearts of many who loved her.
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 9:46 AM CST

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Alison and Grant: In the Catholic calendar, this is All Souls Day, when we remember and celebrate the lives of those like your special Alexandria who the Lord has called home. May the Lord bless you and yours with the gift of His loving consolation and continue to strengthen and sustain you each day.
Peggy S.
- Sunday, November 2, 2003 7:38 PM CST

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WOW!!!!! What a "gift", oh yes I know it was her! You are so BLESSED! You have made a postive difference in my life today, by reading this entry. WOW!! I beleive you! And I pray she comes to you again soon! May God Bless you. Thank you for your writing.
Kasey Gunde <topgund@aol.com>
Mt Holly, NC US - Saturday, November 1, 2003 7:35 PM CST

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Alison...Your journal entry has moved me to tears. I, personally, feel so much of what you wrote. These are definitely the most difficult times of our lives. I don't know if and when it will ever get better, but I just keep telling myself that I'll hold my grandson in my heart until I can hold him in my arms again. This time it will be forever.

Thank you for sharing the absolutely gorgeous pictures! Alexandria is so beautiful.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Saturday, November 1, 2003 7:58 AM CST

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Thinking about you today.
Love,
Lisa Jacob's mommy forever
Lisa Mosley <paulmosley@juno.com>
- Friday, October 31, 2003 4:00 PM CST

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Alison: Such a lovely photo of your special young lady. Thank you for sharing more memories with us. May the Lord continue to strengthen and sustain you, Grant, and your family.
Peggy S.
- Thursday, October 30, 2003 9:55 PM CST

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Dear Alison,
What beautiful journals you write. Thank you so much for sharing so much with us. Your family is always in our thoughts and prayers.
Much love, Nancy

Kelly DeDomenic

Nancy (Kelly's Mom) <www.mldedom@aol.com>
Monroeville (Pgh), Pa USA - Tuesday, October 28, 2003 8:00 AM CST

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Alison, thank you so much for sharing your heart here. It's definitely a blessing to me. Please know that I continue to lift you up in prayer and I won't stop until I see you in Heaven! None of us will need prayers then, now will we? HUGS!
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Tuesday, October 28, 2003 6:46 AM CST

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I just updated myself by reading your last two journal entries and tears came to my eyes at two different parts: the first about Grant having a hard time reading his speech, and also about Alexandria's visit the morning of the tournament. HOW WONDERFUL!!!!

All of the hard work on the tournament has certainly paid off, and will continue to pay off.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Tuesday, October 28, 2003 4:58 AM CST

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Your latest journal entry is absolutely moving. I sit hear with tears streaming down my face. The picture of Alexandria in "gold" is so beautiful. I just had to keep staring at it, what a gift from God!!! I am so thankful that the golf tournament was such a huge success. Alexandria's short life has definitely left an imprint on many hearts. God bless all of you and I continue to lift you up in prayer.
Love,
Debbie Nagy <nagyhome@earthlink.net>
St. Louis, MO - Monday, October 27, 2003 9:07 AM CST

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Once again, your entry has moved me to tears. Thank you so very much for continuing to share your daughter's life and your journey with us. God has blessed all of us through you and your family.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, October 27, 2003 8:13 AM CST

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Alison,
What a beautiful entry. I have the chills just reading it. For a brief moment, I felt like I was reading a novel. I was captured in your words and thoughts, I cannot explain it. She was absolutely there. She is there all the time, everyday!! You continue to amaze me everyday, your strength, your love, your family. You have brought so much to my life and my familys'. I am so grateful for you being in my life and I will miss our daily laughter outside. You must always remember that I will be here for you. I am only an email, phone call or plane ride away!!
We love you
Tracey
Tracey Mazur <tracey_mazur@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, October 26, 2003 8:20 PM CST

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I just wanted to let you guys know that you are continually in my prayers. I love you and hope that you all have a great evening.

Psalm 100
1 Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
2 Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.
3 Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
4 Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
5 For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

You look forward to the day when you get to see Alexandria again. I inagine you miss her beyond words. When I think about Alexandria, Jacob, Andy, and the many more children who have left us here on earth, it makes me sad. But the one thing that I remember is: they are in Heaven, and that makes me happy. No more pain, no more suffering. Their bodies are healed and as healthy as can be.
God Bless,

Kailie Rhines <loolieb@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, October 26, 2003 7:27 PM CST

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Just stopped by to let you know that you are in the
angels hearts thoughts and prayers..

Thank you for sharing Alexandria's story

It helps..

We love you at QOL !

Blessings Always to you and your family..

Angel Chris
QOL Angels

Chris <wardsweb@earthlink.net>
Los Angeles, CA USA - Sunday, October 26, 2003 3:23 PM CST

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Wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and praying for you constantly. Thank you for continuing to share your life, and Alexandria's life, with so many people. It DOES make a HUGE difference.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Saturday, October 25, 2003 6:24 PM CDT

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Alison,
I believe your daughter was with you that day..I believe in the miracle of your faith. You speak of the days when you are confident that Alexandria is happily residing in heaven with Jesus; I think hearing her voice that morning was her way of saying "Mommy,,,youre right again. I am with our lord, and I am not truly gone. I am here, waiting to see you again someday."
Hold on to those days when your faith is strong. We are all praying for god to see you through this.
Love the healys in NJ
Eileen and Molly <fitnjpro@aol.com>
- Saturday, October 25, 2003 9:07 AM CDT

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I am so thankful your event was such a huge success. Your description of the event makes those of us not there sure get a good idea of the day. What a fabulous support team. Thoughts & prayers are with you.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Friday, October 24, 2003 1:34 PM CDT

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Alison and Grant,

The golf tournament was such a wonderful event! I was honored to be a part of it! Alexandria gave us an absolutely beautiful day and every person there was touched by her story. You are an amazing family, and I am so glad that you are part of our lives. Thank you so much for your dedication to those fighting cancer. Alexandria is looking down at her mom and dad and is so proud!!!


Love, Kristen Bly <kbbly@aol.com>
- Thursday, October 23, 2003 8:42 AM CDT

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Grant and Alison-

I can't not nor will I ever be able to express to you how much I treasure our friendship, how luck I feel to have been a part of the golf tournament and how much of a spiritual growth I have had in just 8 months. When you say Alexandria is still teaching us so much from heaven, I can feel it each and everyday. That little reminder to stop and make sure that "you do see Jesus in me". Alexandria's angels memorial golf tournament was an AWESOME success due to the fact that we had AWESOME teamwork, GREAT community support and our "angels" here on earth and in heaven making sure that we were striving for what is important in life. From the bottom of my heart I THANK YOU my friends!!!!! And to my little pink tipped angel in heaven you are in my heart forever.

God Bless,
dawn <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 10:08 PM CDT

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I'm so sorry I wasn't able to be at the golf tournament, but I'm sure it was fabulous. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Kristy <frascofit@aol.com>
Ballwin, MO - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 1:32 PM CDT

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Hi Grant and Alison,
The golf tournament was awesome! What a tribute to Alexandria and your wonderful family! You must know that you are making a difference with that kind of turnout! I really enjoyed meeting our three newest Dream Families - all courtesy of Alexandria's web site.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO USA - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 8:49 AM CDT

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Dear Allison,
Sorry I haven't checked in lately. I would have loved to be in the tournament. Maybe next year. I think of you all often. When things slow down, bring the kids to the country. They would love it. I am working on the John Deere quilts again now that the weather has cooled down some. I love being outdoors with the critters. Love to you all.
Aunt Joella
Joella Jones <jojones@sheltonbbs.com>
New Madrid, MO USA - Tuesday, October 21, 2003 8:48 PM CDT

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Grant and Alison,
The Golf Tournament yesterday was "WOW" For those of you who were unable to attend, I will tell you that I don't have the words to describe how wonderful it was...we'll have to wait for Alison to describe it! You made the correct decision to continue with the trradition.
Judy V
- Tuesday, October 21, 2003 11:15 AM CDT

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Grant and Alison,
I thought about you guys and the golf tournament all day yesterday. What spectacular weather!! I hope it was as suucessful as you dreamed.
Love and prayers,

Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, October 21, 2003 7:29 AM CDT

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Alison and Grant: Got this today and thought you might enjoy. Hope you and yours are sharing lots of these, and know that Alexandria is sending these from heaven. May this be a better week for you. Take care.
*****
There's no such thing as a bad hug, only good ones and great ones.
Hugs are non-fattening and they don't cause cavities…
Hugs are all natural with no preservatives, artificial ingredients, or pesticide residue...
Hugs are cholesterol-free, naturally sweet, 100% wholesome, and a completely renewable resource...
Hugs are easy to care for; they don't require batteries, tune-ups, or x-rays...
Hugs are non-taxable, fully returnable, and energy efficient...
Hugs are safe in all kinds of weather...
In fact, hugs are especially good for cold and rainy days and exceptionally effective in treating problems like bad dreams or Monday blues...
Never wait until tomorrow to hug someone you could hug today, because when you give one, you get one right back your way!
Peggy S.
- Monday, October 20, 2003 8:35 PM CDT

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Sending prayers from the Quilting Angels to you as I reflect on your precious little angel.


Carolyn <carolynj52@ilovejesus.net>
- Monday, October 20, 2003 8:12 PM CDT

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It's going to be a beautiful day today - good luck at the Golf Tournament. I'm sure your sweet girl and all of our other "angels" will be smiling down on you all today! God bless!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, October 20, 2003 8:08 AM CDT

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Dear Haddock Family, just wanted to wish you well for tomorrow's Golf Outing. And I just wanted to thank you again, for being such a light in this world, for sharing your most personal journey with all of us. Lot's of love & many blessings to all of you.
Lynn <limbesi@optonline.net>
Long Island, NY USA - Sunday, October 19, 2003 8:55 PM CDT

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Hello, Haddock Family. It has been WAY too long since I've been by, and I apologize. I have had a lot of personal things going on and, unfortunately, have lost track of my CaringBridge families.

I can only imagine how difficult Grant's 40th birthday was for him this year, whether or not he liked the fact that he turned 40! Knowing that it was the one year anniversary of Alexandria's surgery must have been pretty hard to handle.

The golf tournament sounds like it is coming along quite nicely! And isn't it wonderful that your local news stations are helping you in that regard?

Even though I have not been by, I wanted you to know that I still think of your family, and Angel Alexandria with a fond heart.

Sincerely,

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Sunday, October 19, 2003 2:45 PM CDT

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What a beautiful little doll she is. I know the sky is smiling joys with her over looking things. Take care.
www.caringbridge.org/va/maxie/
Christy <IMAQT430@aol.com>
Amelia, VA - Saturday, October 18, 2003 0:44 AM CDT

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Alison, I regret missing both of your newscasts but I am sure you were as eloquent as ever. We continue to pray for you, your family, Alexandria and a successful golf tournament.


Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Friday, October 17, 2003 8:32 AM CDT

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Oh yes, Alexandria is MOST DEFINITELY proud of her family and all they are doing to help other suffering children. God bless you.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Thursday, October 16, 2003 8:56 PM CDT

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Hello, you do not know me, but my daughter Ashlee is waiting for a liver transplant to survive. I found your site and have been sitting here reading every past entry, what a roller coaster you have been on. Please know that I will pray for your familys strenght! God Bless you! www.caringbridge.org/ny/ashleejean
Kristy, mommy to Ashlee with Biliary Atresia <krisnkevin@adelphia.net>
NY USA - Thursday, October 16, 2003 5:32 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,
Just a note to let you know that Alexandria's website is responsible for us finding four new Dream Factory children! Because of your site, they each will get to experience a very special dream. I know Alexandria is so proud to be able to help them. I'll see you at the golf tournament - put me to work.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater <a.passwater@worldnet.att.net>
Wildwood, MO USA - Thursday, October 16, 2003 3:21 PM CDT

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This is Kenny Shiels' mom, one of the children being remembered in this year's golf tournament. I am so happy that Kenny will be discharged from Children's Hospital in time to attend the opening ceremonies on Monday. That's all he will be able to tolerate, I'm sure. Thank you to everyone who is making it such a successful event. I'm sure I've never experienced anything like it before. Alison, I can't read your whole journal. I've read some highlights and "low"lights and have confirmed what I found when I met you during the preparations for the tournament. You are a changing force in this discomforting world of cancer with a firm determination, soft heart and refreshing honesty. Kenny and the whole family look forward to seeing you again for the tournament on Monday.
Sue Shiels
Fenton, MO USA - Thursday, October 16, 2003 6:49 AM CDT

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REMEMBERING MY ANGEL ALEXANDRIA TODAY AND EVERY DAY. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER AND MISS HER.
MEMAW & PAWPAW <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO ST FRANCOIS - Thursday, October 16, 2003 4:19 AM CDT

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Just thinking about Alexandria, as I so often do, and her beautiful smile...her sweetness, and her wisdom way beyond her years. We just started a bible study at church, "40 Days of Purpose" based on the book, "The Purpose Driven Life", by Rick Warren. So far, it is really exciting. Often, I think of Alexandria and how she loved the Lord so much and truly glorified Him. While some of us are still trying to realize our "purpose," beautiful Alexandria is now reaping the rewards of heaven. Thank you again for sharing so much of yourselves with all of us. God bless you all.
Katy Davis
Foristell, Mo - Thursday, October 16, 2003 0:08 AM CDT

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Alison, Grant and family,
Just wanted to stop by to let you know that I was thinking about you - your family will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow as they are every day. For some reason, the 16th of every month just makes me stop and think (just as I do on the 22nd). My thoughts and and prayers are with you. Love


Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Wednesday, October 15, 2003 9:33 AM CDT

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Alison: Certainly a special angel and her friends are watching over your family and your efforts to help other families. The love and concern you demonstrate for others is such a gift. May the Lord continue to bless and sustain you and yours.
Peggy S.
- Tuesday, October 14, 2003 9:57 PM CDT

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Alison,
I have been thinking about this for the longest time, and through you and your website, I have to say that you have touched my life in such a way that I am amazed more and more by you and your family every day. Right now I am a Senior in college who is studying to be an RN. Like most of the girls in my classes, I at one point wanted to be the typical "OB" nurse and deal with births of babies. I believe that through you and Alexandria, God has pointed me in the direction that I never thought I'd be smart enough to go, I want to be a pediatric oncology nurse and help people in your situations. I feel that Alexandria has had a big impact on my life and through her, I have found my chosen path. I just wanted to say "Thank you" from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story and helping me find my way. God has truly blessed us with an angel like Alexandria.
Becky <rkhd29@mizzou.edu>
O'fallon, Mo USA - Monday, October 13, 2003 11:12 AM CDT

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Im very sorry for your loss..she is a precious child..im praying for your family..
Carla Sellers <minx1975@comcast.net>
Arlington, Tx U.S.A. - Saturday, October 11, 2003 12:28 AM CDT

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We had fun going through Sissy's shopping list. Here's what my 6 yr old thinks - #4 is a Kool-Aid kool burst, #7 eggs #17 - fruit gushers and #18 - butter. So glad to hear all the good news about the golf tournament. Lots of love and prayers are sent your way!
Cathy
St. Charles, MO - Saturday, October 11, 2003 7:59 AM CDT

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Just stopping by to say I am thinking of your family and praying for you.
Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Saturday, October 11, 2003 0:18 AM CDT

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Just letting you know, you're in my thoughts and prayers. I enjoyed your Oct. 6 journal entry. That is really something - the story about Lauren, Alison and Nancy! I also looked at previous guestbook entries and curiously looked for the "a person" entry that some guests referred to. At first I was disheartened by it, but then remembered a book I read years ago called "Good Night Mr. Christopher" - at one part of the book, Christopher's mother is in total grief and she throws a rosary across the room "cursing" Mary...suddenly she realizes something...Mary understood...Mary's child was crucified.
Cathy Yanez <gethsemanem1435@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Friday, October 10, 2003 10:08 PM CDT

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My heart goes out to you and your family and all of the families that have to face this horrible disease. I know that Alexandria's Angels will be such a blessing to so many people. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Thursday, October 9, 2003 7:51 PM CDT

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I do not know what is worse. Watching your child die or watching TV, thinking all is well with your family and the voice on the other end tells you your only child has died.I will pray for Alexandria and ask my son who to me was always an angel to watch over her in heaven. He was 29 years old so he could act as her big brother.

KATHY BENSON <kathyb@loylangebox.com>
ARNOLD, MO USA - Thursday, October 9, 2003 1:44 PM CDT

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Oh My goodness!!! It sounds so great to hear all the news of the love and support from people. I have only been away for a few days and you all have accomplished soooo much. I will be home tomorrow with bells on ready to work. I missed you!!
Tracey
Tracey Mazur
- Tuesday, October 7, 2003 1:08 PM CDT

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You did a beautiful job giving a picture of what it is like to have a child have cancer and what it is like when there is no more hope. I wish my husband could have taken more time off. There was not a lot of support through his job. He thankfully did get paid for the few times he did take off the past several years, but he was also reminded of how he owed them. My husband works on salary and works 12-14 hours a day, and many times on his day's off. At one point my son was really sick (he was really sick at many times, but one inparticuler) and they wouldn't let him have another day off so he had to take vacation day's. He should have been able to spend more time with his son. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. My point is what your doing is a wonderful way to honor your sweet girl. Thank you for giving people a glimps of our lives and trying to help others. Alexandria must be so proud of her mommy and daddy.
Love,
Lisa
Lisa Mosley <www.caringbridge.org/mo/jacob>
- Tuesday, October 7, 2003 8:24 AM CDT

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We think of you all very often, and we remember you all in prayer and thought.
Linda and Phil, Sr. <philinda1@cox.net>
- Monday, October 6, 2003 6:22 PM CDT

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Hey. I just wanted to stop in and let you know I'm thinking of and praying for you as always. Blessings!
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, October 6, 2003 2:39 PM CDT

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Dear Alison and Grant,
I haven't checked in for a while but it doesn't mean I am not thinking about all of you everyday. Every night I say prayers with my daughter Madison (11 months) and we always asked God to take care of Alexandria and we ask her to take care of all of you. I can only imagine the joy she has made in heaven.
You both have taught me the value of teaching your child about God and the importance of religon in your life and theirs. Ever since I started reading your journal I realized I needed to go back to church on Sundays.
You probably don't know that Alexandria has affected my life so much that at our LMA meeting in February I talked about her in front of the entire company. Of course there wasn't a dry eye because she has affected us all in so many ways. She is an amazing little girl and I can't thank you enough for sharing her with all of us.
God Bless you and as alway we will continue to pray.
Love, Cat

Cat Borkowski
Shoreham, NY - Sunday, October 5, 2003 9:25 PM CDT

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Hi Alison, I haven't posted in a very long time but I check for your entries often. I just love hearing your heartfelt updates on how you and your family are doing. You are such an inspiration, sharing your memories of Alexandria, keeping her spirit alive! Thank you for being a light in this world. It means so much to us.
I hope I get the opportunity to meet you at Thanksgiving. We will be visiting our family (The Riendeau's) for a few days and would love to give you a hug!
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Sunday, October 5, 2003 5:56 PM CDT

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Alison,
Your poignant journal entries touch my soul. I am so sad for you and your family. You write so beautifully about the loss of Alexandria. I will be thinking of you and Grant during church services tomorrow, and pray for some sort of peace for you both. No one can feel the depth of your pain, but we all are thinking of you during this difficult time.
Sincerly, Eileen and family
E and M <FitNJpro@aol.com>
waldwick, NJ - Saturday, October 4, 2003 9:45 AM CDT

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Hello:)
Sissy's pictures are so wonderful...a sweet cookie day, that is precious!
#4 has me stumped, it could be a hershey kiss, but I was almost thinking bottled water:)
#7 at first, a fried egg..but then, changed that to scrambled eggs with either a fork or spoon
#17....wow, I am stumped...probably what everyone else thinks, fruit gushers:)
#18 I really think this is a block of butter, with a butter knife
Keeping you all in my prayers as you go on through life without your darling girl.
hugs,
Tracey xoxo
Calgary, Ab,Canada, - Saturday, October 4, 2003 1:53 AM CDT

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Alison: May you and Grant feel the Lord's sheltering arms holding you and yours close to Him.
Peggy S.
- Friday, October 3, 2003 8:33 PM CDT

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thinking of you with tears in my eyes-there will be so many more more tough days ahead unfortunately, but you are a special person with a special family, and you will get through it. take care- Melissa
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
- Friday, October 3, 2003 4:27 PM CDT

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just a thought to tell you that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.. i have a daughter alexandria's age, and i hold her tighter now.. please know how much people you've never even met hurt for you and pray for you ... god bless always.
mary burns
Albany, NY - Friday, October 3, 2003 8:48 AM CDT

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Hi Haddock Family,
Keeping your family in our hearts and sending extra prayers your way this week.
God Bless.
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il United States - Friday, October 3, 2003 0:43 AM CDT

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Alison and family,
I pray that the Lord's love comforts you and brings you strenght at the times you most need it.
Thinking of you and sending a huge HUG!
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Thursday, October 2, 2003 7:10 PM CDT

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Alison,
I just wanted to sign in here quick to let you know that I am still here. I know I have been really bad about signing in, but don't for one second think that I haven't been here each day checking on all of you. Happy Birthday Grant....I so wish that Alexandria was here to celebrate too, but I am amazed at your understanding of God's plan. Both Alexandria and your whole family have spread God's word to so many people. I realize that isn't any consolation to our earthly feelings of wanting Alexandria healed here on earth, but I do know that she is enjoying her time and I can picture her sitting right on His lap!!

I'll be back soon......

Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, October 2, 2003 1:32 PM CDT

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Good morning Haddocks - I saw the piece on channel 2 last night on your family. It was such a beautiful and moving tribute to your precious little girl. I'm sure that I am not the only one who was moved to tears watching it. It is so obvious that God's plan was for your family to touch the hearts of so many. May He continue to bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Thursday, October 2, 2003 8:43 AM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know how much we appreciated you coming to join us sunday evening at the TIDE( I am one of the leaders and I know it meant a lot to my group of girls) ..I have been praying for you and your family!! My favorite chapter of the Bible really just speaks to me when I think of your family..Ecclesiastes 3...if you get the chance check it out!!
kara loechner <karaloechner@yahoo.com>
st charles, mo usa - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 10:44 PM CDT

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Thinking of you all with much love!!


*Happy Birthday, Grant*

Love and ((((HUGS))))
Eva
- Wednesday, October 1, 2003 10:21 PM CDT

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Dear Haddock Family,
I'm sorry that today brings more sadness to you. I have been sitting here trying to figure out what to say that will help, and have drawn a complete blank. No one knows what you are going through each day, but I do hope it helps to know that there are so many caring,loving people checking on you via the website. Many of us go on about our daily lives and then something makes us stop for a moment and remember you and what you have gone through and what you continue to go through, and then we say a prayer asking God to wrap His loving arms around you all. I know for me, just the other day I saw a rainbow and remembered how important they were to you and Alexandria. I will never look at a rainbow the same way again, nor will I take God's promises for granted. He does love you and He felt you were special enough to entrust Alexandria in your care even if it was for such a short time.

May God continue to bless you all and comfort you in ways that only He can.


Michelle
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 5:46 PM CDT

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Alison. I obviously do not know the pain of losing a child, but I can tell you that I can empathize with you on some level from the losses I have experienced on this journey. Sometimes, when I call home, I catch myself just before asking my mom if I can speak to my dad--forgetting that he isn't there...and isn't coming back. I still expect to see him sitting in his favorite chair or hear his favorite TV shows in the background. It's been 3 years. I also walk into clinic expecting to see my buddies I've gotten to know in the past 23 years...and then realize they won't be there. It's so very strange...I know to some that is nuts, but it is a reality. So, if I experience these things without having lost a child, I can only imagine what it is like for you. The devil would have you believe that it was your lack of faith that caused Alexandria to pass on and not be healed on this Earth. Well, as we know, the devil is a liar! It's wonderful to see children healed on this earth and having faith DOES play a part. But, it takes far more faith to go on living and stay sane continuing on with other responsibilities after losing your child, a part of your heart, than it does do see them healed on this Earth. God knew the only way you could do it is if He gave you the example in your child. So you had faith to see her healed on this earth and then some as you have also had faith to continue on even when she wasn't healed here. That, in itself, is a miracle. Alexandria was the very definition of Christ and I'm sure she is looking down on you along with God and cheering you on saying "that's my mom--I know she's hurting so much and missing me so much, but I am so proud of her! And I can't wait until she gets up here to see me so that I can tell her again face to face how awesome a mommy she is!" Blessings Alison. I am here for you anytime. Please do not hesitate to contact me. I will check back in on you soon. Love to you in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 11:37 AM CDT

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Sorry for the sad memories that today brings. Happy Birthday Grant! I hope that you and your family find some sunshine today. Alexandria is singing Happy Birthday Daddy, cha cha cha to you from heaven.
Mary Lou <mlt.csi@hay.net>
Exeter, ON Canada - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 11:11 AM CDT

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My heart is broken for you all. I cannot begin to imagine how the pain of losing a child feels day to day. My thoughts and prayers are with you always, Most of all I will be thinking of you all tomorrow as you face the day that should have been a second birthday for your sweet girl, It should be a day of celebration for you, I am sorry that it will be a day of painful memories instead
Debby Roberts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,http://www.caringbridge.org/oh/emilyroberts/
- Wednesday, October 1, 2003 10:59 AM CDT

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Thinking about you all and praying for you today just like everyday! I'm still trying to figure out what the items are on the shopping list and my best guess for the unknowns...candy, candy, candy! Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 10:32 AM CDT

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Alison and Grant-

Oh my dearest friend!!! I pray so hard to be able to take this pain away. To be able to understand why this has to be soooo hard!!!! I DO NOT, BELIEVE FOR ONE MINUTE THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH, FAITH, OR HOPE AND THAT IS WHY THIS HAPPENED!! Alexandria was put on this earth to help spread God's word. She has brought sooo many to believe in him. And to answer your question "YES" so many did see "Jesus in Alexandria" but, you see, I see just as much in you and Grant. Alexandria had Jesus in her heart and soul because she had awesome parents to make sure that their children completely understand God's word. Now how AWESOME IS THAT!!! May God give you even more strength to be able to get through each of these anniversaries with little heartache and more understanding as to how much you are loved not only by him but all of us who hold you so dearly in our hearts. Please know that there aren't enough words to be able to express how blessed I feel to have you in my life. Know I'm here for you, my friend anytime day or night. Thank you so much for allowing me to be on the board of Alexandria's Angels and this year's golf tournament. We are going to have an AWESOME tournament!!! Talk to you soon!

God Bless,

dawn <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 10:28 AM CDT

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Thinking of you on this most difficult day.
E. Spratt
Eureka, MO - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 10:02 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Praying for you today and asking God to comfort you and give you peace.
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 9:49 AM CDT

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REMEMBERING TODAY AND PRAYING FOR THE FAMILY.
MEMAW & PAWPAW <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO ST FRANCOIS - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 8:48 AM CDT

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Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you today and praying for God to give you peace and comfort. God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 8:00 AM CDT

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Lifting you in prayer so that you may feel His Love.
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
- Tuesday, September 30, 2003 9:54 PM CDT

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What precious pictures from an even more precious little girl. Those are so beautiful. Thank you for sharing them with all of us.

Jesus, please be with this precious family today. Lord, please encourage them and let them know how much you love them. We pray that people will continue to rally around them and lift them up in prayer and encourage them each time they have the opportunity. The pain that they experience every day can only be realized by very few; but most of all you dear God. Thank you for taking care of this family. Thank you for ministering to each one of them and their needs. Lord, continue using them to reach other's about your precious Son Jesus. Thank you God for loving us so much that you sent your Son to die on the cross for our sins, when we are really the ones who deserved the punishment. Jesus, thank you for being willing to die for our sins and for giving us the opportunity to accept you as our personal savior. Thank you Lord that Alexandria is with you, and for taking care of this precious little angel. What a wonderful day it will be when we'll be able to see her again. Thank you Lord, in your name amen.


We love you all so much,
Kailie's family
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, September 30, 2003 3:47 PM CDT

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Hi - just wanted to let you know we think of and pray for you often. Glad you're having some good days; and laughed about the memory problem - you certainly have enough on your mind right now - something has to slide.
Kathleen Maas-Stokes <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, September 30, 2003 7:21 AM CDT

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Hi Haddocks ~
Just dropping by to check on you all and let you know you are in my thoughts - I LOVE looking at Alexandria's drawings! If I can help figure those 4 out, I'll let you know.... they are just precious -
~Hugs~
Jean



Jean - Quilts of Love <jean@quiltsoflove.com>
- Tuesday, September 30, 2003 3:17 AM CDT

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Alexandria is a DOLL!!! God Bless you and your family. I'm keeping you in my prayers.
Kasey Gunde <Kasey.Gunde@delta.com>
Mount Holly, NC US - Monday, September 29, 2003 10:20 PM CDT

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UGH..me again, sorry about the "double click"!! :0(

Kim
- Monday, September 29, 2003 4:06 PM CDT

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Hi ALison..
Oh I can just imagine the joy and belly laughs Alexandria is getting from all the "food guesses"!! :0)
Well...we don't want to let her down..so here is our guess...
#4....a hershey kiss
#7....scrambled eggs
#17...definetly fruit gushers!! :0)
#18...a slice of american cheese



With our love and prayers...
Kim and Kody
~KODYS STORY~
- Monday, September 29, 2003 4:04 PM CDT

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Hi ALison..
Oh I can just imagine the joy and belly laughs Alexandria is getting from all the "food guesses"!! :0)
Well...we don't want to let her down..so here is our guess...
#4....a hershey kiss
#7....scrambled eggs
#17...definetly fruit gushers!! :0)
#18...a slice of american cheese



With our love and prayers...
Kim and Kody
~KODYS STORY~
- Monday, September 29, 2003 4:04 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,
Alexandria is a beautiful girl! And her drawings are so precious, what an artist! I think #7 is a fried egg and #17 are pineapples slices. Good luck on your golf tournament. I know it will turn out wonderful!
Keeping you always in my thoughts and prayers!
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Sunday, September 28, 2003 2:17 PM CDT

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To "A" Person,
You certainly are messed up and I agree with Alison that you have been hitting the "sauce". First, by your comments it shows you are a mean person! Second, quit making it harder for Catholics. We are constantly having to explain to people that we do not worship Mary but in fact, adore her and pray to her to pray for us. She in turns, prays to Jesus. If you turn to Mary, why, if you do not believe in Jesus. You are messed up in my book! Third, only cowards do not leave their name.
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Sunday, September 28, 2003 2:14 PM CDT

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Alison: Alexandra's drawings are delightful, but I'm a terrible guesser. I don't even recognize some of the things that people have suggested. What's a "gusher"? Amazing the things one can learn. Thanks again for sharing such a special photo of your wonderful daughter. Our thoughts and prayers remain with you and yours.
Peggy S.
- Saturday, September 27, 2003 11:03 PM CDT

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Hi Allison and family,
I loved the drawings! I've been lurking (again). I've tried and tried to figure out 'a person', but that kind of "thinking" is beyond me. Thank you, again, for sharing your faith, your struggle, and your precious daughter's life with us.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, - Friday, September 26, 2003 8:31 AM CDT

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Alison & Family

I don't know if I've signed your guest book before, but I've been checking in on your site for some time. I wanted to write to tell you how delightful Alexandria's drawings are!! What a special treasure - thank you for sharing. I love the photo, too - what a beautiful girl!! God bless you all!
Justine Kessler <justinekessler@yahoo.com>
Madison, WI - Wednesday, September 24, 2003 4:35 PM CDT

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Molly and I think that #4 is whipped cream, and that # 18 is an Ice Pop. We agree that #17 is the snack "Gushers".
I absolutely love the cookie picture. Don't we all feel that way about chocolate chip cookies hot out of the oven! Way to go Alexandria. I know you are in heaven giggling about our "guesses" on your shopping list picture.
M & E
waldwick, NJ - Wednesday, September 24, 2003 3:45 PM CDT

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Dear Angel Alexandria's Family,
I Think This is what are the unkonwn photo's on Sissy's Shopping List Are: # 4 is a pear.
# 7 is Srambled eggs, 317 is cupcakes and number 18 is Butter.
Thanks For Share the photo's with us.
Meghan~ Nater's Sister Forever and For alwasy's~
Nater's Site: www.caringbridge.org/ny/naters_page
Vewing Name: gapa
Password: nate
Meghan Gapa <gaphouse@yahoo.com>
Lyndonville, New York ***USA*** - Wednesday, September 24, 2003 2:38 PM CDT

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Hi Alison, Grant and Kiddies... I would love to make that gorgeous picture of Alexandria on this website my screensaver... Every time I look at her I smile. She is a precious little thing!!! I continue to admire your strength through this difficult time. You know you (both) are an inspiration to us all. I know the golf tournament will once again be a huge success. I'll call Nancy to see if there's anything I can do.. I miss seeing all of you and think of you often. Know that you are in our continued prayers... Lots of Love, Lisa
Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@msn.com>
Boone, Ky - Wednesday, September 24, 2003 6:16 AM CDT

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Hi Alison
I let my daughter, Chandler, look at "Sissy's shopping list".She thinks #17, without a doubt are the fruit snacks called Gushers. Chandler enjoyed trying to figure out what everything was. Thanks for sharing the pictures with us. Your in our prayers always!

Connie Gericke
O'fallon, - Tuesday, September 23, 2003 7:35 PM CDT

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Hi , I haven't been to the site in a few weeks . I lost all my stuff with a computer crash and Am just getting everything back ...little by little . I thought I should check on ya. Glad to know you are still handling everything with God's grace.
I would like to answer "a person" ,if I may, ( delete this if you think it is inappropriate ) . Here's my reply:
God ALLOWS things to happen for spiritual growth ... Alexandria had a pure heart.Her battle has helped countless people to become more spiritually connected because of her struggle . Her family has survived this ordeal because they draw upon HIS strength to endure .This world can prove hardening for many (obviously by "a person's" comments ).We do not have to agree with whether her death was right or wrong . Surely , no one wanted her to see her go but aren't we glad that we got to know her... if even for a little while? . I am sorry that this person chooses to add to your already aching(sp?) heart, Alison.She/He did not have to say that they didn't believe in God (that much was obvious ). People that love Jesus have compassion for fellow human beings . Thank you Alison for showing others your compassion despite your situation. If Christians could adequately put into words what God's love means , there wouldn't be near as many unbelievers. But to those that haven't felt His presence and love ... there are NO words.

Many blessings,
Danette
Danette Prater <jakesmom@wt.net>
Santa Fe, Tx - Tuesday, September 23, 2003 6:56 PM CDT

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I'm a bad guesser even though Alexandria is a beautiful artist! Thanks for sharing some of Alexandria's artwork with us. What a treasure. Take care. Love & prayers being sent your way.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Tuesday, September 23, 2003 11:31 AM CDT

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i thought i wrote in the guestbook the other day, but don't see the entry.. just wanted you to know that you're in my thoughts.. no comment on the 'a person' entry, except -- what a sad excuse for a person that is! your alexandria is gorgeous!
mary burns
Albany, NY - Monday, September 22, 2003 11:55 AM CDT

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Ok, I finally had time to "study" the pictures. I think #4 is a hershey's kiss, #7 is macaroni & cheese, #17 is pinwheels or another hostess snack of some sort and #18 is a ring pop. I also just want you to know that you guys are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Sunday, September 21, 2003 9:59 PM CDT

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Hi from NJ..Molly and Eileen checking in.
I think "A person" means checking in with a "Bloody Mary" dont you...???
If her kid is cute, she's going to need it. It'll be the only "plus" she will go into life with after being raised by that kind of parent. I hope that Jesus will help guide that child as there is no hope of it from that parent.
I actually prayed for the author of that comment as I am guessing it is some unstable, low life who has no self esteem. Definately abused as a child..probably abusing her own now too. That kind of disease needs to be cured too...
God Bless you Alison for your wisdom in the face of such pathetic behavior.
Love from NJ...E and M.

Eileen and Molly
NJ - Sunday, September 21, 2003 5:26 PM CDT

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Stopping in to let you know that I was thinking about you all. I hope you have a very nice Sunday!!

Love and ((((HUGS))))
Eva
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 9:48 AM CDT

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Okay here are my guesses:
#4 Pears
#7 Mac&Cheese with a fork
#17 Definately Life Savers
#18 Vanilla cake

I Miss You
Abby Newsham
- Saturday, September 20, 2003 11:15 AM CDT

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Allison,
I hate to keep discussing the comments from "a person" because I couldn't disagree with s/he more. But, even if we followed that line of reasoning, wouldn't we still have to grapple with the fact that sweet Alexandria died a horrible death and this person's Mary allowed it? Where is the comfort there?? At least our Jesus understands first hand Alexandria's suffering. Just pondering--- and praying for you.
Amanda Adams
Montgomery, AL - Friday, September 19, 2003 11:29 PM CDT

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I check the web site often just wanted to let you know we are still praying for you and your family. Alexandria was
quite the artist!Love the picture on the web site. hope the kids are enjoying school...
Nancy Dalton
Wildwood, MO - Friday, September 19, 2003 11:10 PM CDT

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wow! what a beautiful girl............. so sad..............
Jill
- Friday, September 19, 2003 8:16 PM CDT

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Still praying and thinking of you all often. You are awesome and Alexandria is SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know God is always with you and you have done what He wants, 10 fold! Keep up the great ministry! Alexandria is glowing in heaven because she was blessed to have the world's greatest PARENTS, family, and friends. I am sorry I only knew her through this site, how unfortunate for me! God's Blessings,
Paula
chesterfield, mo - Friday, September 19, 2003 5:43 PM CDT

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Island Princess here from Quilts Of Love. I have had you all on my mind and wanted to stop by with some Angel Hugs.

Love,
Island Princess

Island Princess <islandprincess@quiltsoflove.com>
- Friday, September 19, 2003 5:39 PM CDT

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Hi Alison, just checking in to read your latest journal entry. I hope you are doing well and we look forward to attending the golf tournament again this year! Lee is already putting his team together.

As we used to say, the "person" from 9/13 is "crazy in the head!" What other explanation?? Oh well, next and move on!

Take care and see you soon!
Monica Lummus
Eureka, MO - Wednesday, September 17, 2003 10:43 PM CDT

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Allison~
Just stopping by to let you know I am thinking of you and your family this evening. I think the picture of Alexandria is just one of the absolute cutest ever--am just lovin' the bunny t-shirt and that precious dimple!
Teri
Nashville, TN - Wednesday, September 17, 2003 8:01 PM CDT

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Dear Haddock Family, We are sorry to hear of Taylor's death. We will pray for their family and yours. Just wanted to let you know we think of you often.
The Sheats Family
Springboro, OH - Wednesday, September 17, 2003 1:41 PM CDT

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Hi Allison ~
Was just thinking of Alexandria and you today and wanted to stop by and say hello and leave you a hug.



Jean - Quilts of Love <jean@quiltsoflove.com>
- Wednesday, September 17, 2003 11:43 AM CDT

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Allison & family,

Good luck on the golf outing don't worry about the person entry form the 13th. She/He knows nothing about the loss of a child or even how to be a human being
Karen Ann Viteritti
Florahm Park, NJ USA - Wednesday, September 17, 2003 10:05 AM CDT

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Dear Allison, Everyone seems to be having such fun trying to guess what ^^Alexandria's^^ drawings are,
I'm sure ^^Alexandria^^ is enjoying the game too! :-)
Sending you prayers of comfort in your sorrow,
Ginny
- Wednesday, September 17, 2003 1:51 AM CDT

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I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and beautiful Alexandria today as I do every day since I found your site. You have done a nice thing pointing others to Taylor's site although I am sure that it was difficult for you to re-live the similarities. I hope that the words of encouragement bring some small measure of comfort to her family (and to you).
Mikie from ALL-KIDS (www.caringbridge.org/tn/emily)
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 9:58 PM CDT

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HI! I have been following your site for along time..there's a lot to be learned from your daughter! What a remarkable girl! I loved the pictures you put in the photo album..although I am sorry to say that I can't figure them out although #18 made me think of the candy bit-o-honey as the pic reminded me of a bee..or maybe just honey?

Thank you for continuing your journal.
Heather Grell <hiyah75@yahoo.com>
Brainerd, MN - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 8:07 PM CDT

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Alison,
I'm sorry I haven't signed th guestbook in a while. I check your journal entries several times a week and pray for your family often. On Alexandria's birthday I went up to church that evening and just stood at her grave site and was overcome with emotions. When I take walks in the evening I can see her monument through the houses and I stop by sometimes just to say a prayer. I am so sorry you had to read the terrible entry on the 13th. It's obvious he/she is not a Christian, I don't understand how anyone can be so cruel. I know God wants us to pray for that person and not hold on to the anger we feel, but it is difficult. I have never had the opportunity to meet you, and yet I feel so protective of you and your family. Alexandria had such a beautiful little face, and I'm sure she had a personality to match. Please keep putting new picures on the site, we all really enjoy it!
Connie Gericke
O'fallon, - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 5:00 PM CDT

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I AM SITTING HERE ONCE AGAIN WITH TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. I MISS HER SO VERY MUCH. WE JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE ARE THINKING ABOUT YOU AND PRAYING FOR YOU TODAY. LOVE, MEMAW
NOEL (MEMAW) KNOTTS <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 3:24 PM CDT

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Thinking of all of you today and always. Didn't get to see you this morning but wanted you to know your in my thoughts and to thank you for everything you have done for me this past week. I really do appreciate your help. If there is anything you need please let me know.
Jeanine Riendeau <jrien0512@aol.com>
O'Fallon, mo - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 3:06 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today Alison. I know the anniversary dates are tough.
Sheryl Andrasko
O'Fallon, MO USA - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 12:48 AM CDT

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Though I rarely sign in, I check on you often and pray for continued comfort for you all. The artwork is a treasure! My "analysis" is #4 is a Hershey's kiss, #7 is a plate of pasta with a fork, #17 looks like pinwheel cookies or those meringue cookies, and #18 is a block of cheese with a knife to slice it. Thanks again for allowing us to be part of your journey. Peace,
Karen Gabriel and family <BKGabe@att.net>
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 8:18 AM CDT

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Thinking of you today.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 8:15 AM CDT

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I am so sorry to hear of Taylor's passing. I will say an extra prayer for her family - thank you for sharing the news with us. You continue to be such an inspiration to so many - thank you for reminding us of what is important. God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 8:08 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Love the new look on the web site and that is one of my favorite pictures of Alexandria. I was amused at your response to "a person". I have to agree that he/she was probably passed out on the floor within 2 minutes of writing the unkind entry. Let's just pray that God touches her/his life in some way that "it" repents and sees the error of "it's" way. I still check in on your beautiful family and continue to pray for all of you. I believe #4 is a Hershey's kiss and #17 are ring pops, don't have a guess on the other two. Take care.
Love,
Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 1:29 AM CDT

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Alison and Grant,
Just wanted to let you know that I would be thinking about you and saying extra prayers for you tomorrow...I know that the anniversaries are rough. Hope that your day is filled with peace and many good memories of your precious Alexandria. Love to you and your family.

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Monday, September 15, 2003 10:17 PM CDT

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Dear Alison;
Just wanted to let you know you all still remain in our thoughts and prayers. I love Alexandria's artwork-what a great little artist! Thank you for sharing your little Angel with us. I am so sorry you are occasionally the victims of cruel people. It is just sickening that they would try to bring you down!! I wonder how they can live with themselves??

Kelli Giles Lanza
Cincinnati, OH - Monday, September 15, 2003 9:19 PM CDT

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Alison: As usual I clicked on your guestbook to see the thoughtful entries people write to you and your family. I was shocked and saddened to see the entry from "a person". I too have been the victim of cruel people who come by and anonymously leave their venom on Meghan's website. For the longest time I would simply let my faithful friends and stalkers lay into them and leave the idiot in the dust. I'm sure your friends and family could give this "person" the what for and I see some of them already have. Just a couple of days ago I was visited by "Mandy" who left an entry which was senseless and idiotic. So, instead of getting upset about it I simply went into author changes and deleted her entry entirely. I like to think Meghan was sitting on my shoulder with her magic wand and said "POOF" you're gone :o) So, to "a person" there is a place waiting for you and you will NOT be seeing Alexandria there if you know what I mean. Hopefully your "beautiful child" doesn't inherit any of your not so beautiful qualities. With this said, I will put my claws back in as I know Alison and Grant can take care of themselves....but from one mama bear to another.....I got your back Alison...anytime you need it!
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Monday, September 15, 2003 7:17 PM CDT

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I hate to give this "person" any more attention, but you surely didn't need to say that you don't believe in Jesus because by your comments, it's obvious that you don't have Him in your life.
This family is such Godly people, and Alison, all your children are amoung the most beautiful, especially Alexandria who couldn't be more glorious with her pink tipped angel wings. Only Godly people are able to look forward to that.
Don't let the ungodly get you down
- Monday, September 15, 2003 4:24 PM CDT

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Alison,
I looked at Alexandria's drawings, and I believe I may know what # 17 is... I believe it may be a red and blue gusher. (The fruit snacks w/ juicy filling on the inside). Hope this helps. I couldn't figure out the other things, but 18 looks like it's in a bowl or something similar to the one right above it.
Becky
O'fallon, mo usa - Monday, September 15, 2003 3:12 PM CDT

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To a person from Sept 13. Pardon my rudeness, but WHO THE HELL GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT ON A CHILD'S WEBSITE????? You're child may be cuter to you, but incase you are sooo dense and haven't realized this, this child is no longer living, and that snide comment makes me want to smack you hard in the face. Mary, please. Let's see who saves your ass when Mary isn't around...
A person pissed off about that comment.
Mo - Monday, September 15, 2003 3:09 PM CDT

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Alison,
What a beautiful picture. I just wanted you to know that even though I do not leave messeges too often, I pray for your family. I feel like I know you. I was at church yesterday and our pastor was talking about missions and it suddenly dawned on me that my sons web site was my mission field. Jacob still touches lives through his site and I know your precious Alexandria does too.
Love,
Lisa
Lisa Mosley <www.caringbridge.org/mo/jacob>
- Monday, September 15, 2003 10:14 AM CDT

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Alison: What a wonderful picture of your special Alexandria. Thanks for giving us another image to remember her by. May the Lord continue to strengthen and sustain Taylor and both your families.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Sunday, September 14, 2003 10:56 PM CDT

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To Alison, all I can say is "you are a treasure". What a blessing it is to know you.
And to "a person" from September 13th's remark...I am praying for you because you obviously need them. How dare you.
kellie mcclendon <ckmcclendon@yahoo.com>
- Sunday, September 14, 2003 7:30 PM CDT

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Alison-
I have visited the site countless times and I have to apologize I think this is the first time I have ever written. I think of you and your family very often. The picture of Alexandria is so precious! I was thinking of this time I was taking care of her and I called her Alex--Let me tell you I never did that again. She let me know that HER name is ALEXANDRIA! She had such a personality--one that I will never forget. She has touched so many. We all are truely blessed to have met your sweet angel Alexandria. Your family is in my prayers.

Mary Beck <megrant26@yahoo.com>
st.charles, mo - Saturday, September 13, 2003 10:01 PM CDT

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How beautiful...I absolutely love the new picture you posted on the front page...Although I do think that my favorite picture ever of your little angel is the one of her dancing with the waves on the beach...I read your site all of the time and truly feel honored to have had the chance to get to know your little girl...I prayed so hard that you all would have had your miracle...complete healing here on earth...I know that God has a plan...and I miss I could say that I understand but I don't...we have many family members in the St. Louis area so maybe one day we will have the chance to meet in person...until then you all remain in our thoughts and prayers every single day...
In Love & Prayer...Eleasha & Cody <www.forcody.org>
Virginia Beach, VA - Saturday, September 13, 2003 4:34 PM CDT

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Hi, Haddock family. How sad for Taylor's family, to not only go through the pain of their child's sickness but now such a gross error by the medical field that is supposed to be helping her.

My very best wishes for the golf tournament! I have a feeling it will be another sold out even this year!!! =)

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Saturday, September 13, 2003 12:20 AM CDT

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You have a very cute child. Of course, mine is a million times cuter. I just want to let you know that, I don't believe there is a god (Jesus). If there was, why would he have let your child die? HMM? Well, I hope that you know I will be looking to Mary for help. She is the true answer.

a person
- Saturday, September 13, 2003 10:50 AM CDT

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Hi there! Thanks for sharing the art work...I'm going to share them with my kids tomorrow, I'll post what we think then. I agree, what's with the spooky eye? that's funny. How interesting...I like the angel. You are right, are we enjoying our kids colorful world? I'm going to start taking the time to notice. Thank you for the insight mom and dad...thank you Alexandria. Oh, I love the picture that opens the website. She's adorable.
Cathy <gethsemanem1435@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Saturday, September 13, 2003 2:33 AM CDT

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I am touched by how sweet Alexandria's artwork is. Your thoughts are filled with pride I am sure at what a beautiful life she was and will always be. God Bless! I will continuing praying for Taylor and her family.
Lori Cooper <pepelepew1@aol.com>
Valley Park, MO USA - Friday, September 12, 2003 10:09 PM CDT

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Those masterpieces are PRICELESS!!!! When asked, my 6 & 9 year olds agreed: #4 is a Hershey Kiss, #7 is a fried egg #18 is cheese & 19 is candy. What treasures. :-)
e spratt
- Friday, September 12, 2003 12:31 AM CDT

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#17 looks like two ring pops!! The others...well, made me laugh, but can't figure them out....Hershey kiss sounds good from the previous guestbook entry-definitely wasn't thinking that when I saw it!!:) She was a great artist!! So glad you found the pictures!!
Jenifer
Wash.Twp., NJ - Friday, September 12, 2003 11:32 AM CDT

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I asked my 5 yo and 3 yo sons what 4, 7, 17, and 18 could be... here is what they said...
4 is a hershey kiss
7 is a fish(a fish? don't see a fish.)
17 are two pies already cut and ready to eat
18 is butter
Too cute! Alexandria was a great artist!

Sue Novick <canovick@Hotmail.com>
Hickory, pa usa - Friday, September 12, 2003 8:34 AM CDT

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Allison;

You and your family continue to be in our prayers. We will keep Alexandria's memory alive as a sister who has fought the fight. It's not fair. And I am so sorry. I requested prayers for your family on Jackie's website. Dede Roth
D. Roth <www.caringbridge.org/mo/jackiesjourneypjroth@bigrivertel.net>
Cape Girardeau, Mo - Friday, September 12, 2003 8:16 AM CDT

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The drawings that Alexandra made are beautiful! Thanks for sharing them with us! God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, September 12, 2003 7:29 AM CDT

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Alison,
Just wanted to sign in quick to let you know that I continue to come and check in on all of you and stare into Alexandria's beautiful eyes each day. God bless you all.

Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, September 10, 2003 10:04 AM CDT

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I just wanted to let you know that my team, Team Jackie, will be saying a special prayer dedicated to your sweet Angel Alexandria this Friday night at Light the Night in Forest Park.
E. Spratt (Jackie Roth's Aunt Bea from Cape Girardeau)
Eureka, MO - Monday, September 8, 2003 9:05 PM CDT

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Alison, I must agree with what you said...if only we could have raked the path clear so that no other child and family would have to travel it...if only...just dropping in to say hello. Take care, Kathy Charlton
Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel
- Sunday, September 7, 2003 2:43 PM CDT

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Just stopping by this morning to let you know how much Alexandria has been on my mind..and in my heart also..:0)
Love..Kim


~KODYS STORY~
- Saturday, September 6, 2003 10:37 AM CDT

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Alison, I, too, wish that no one else would have to endure what you and your family have gone through. But you have left a gracious and courageous path for others to follow when they need help along their journey. Praying for you, your family, and Taylor....
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Friday, September 5, 2003 10:14 AM CDT

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Good morning Alison
I saw your web site on Brittany Zipter's and thought I would visit and learn more about Alexandria. What a cutie! She looked like an angel way before earning her wings. Alison, there are no words that can describe my sorrow for your loss. I just know that our loss is certainly Heaven's gain. We also know that Jesus himself prepares our mansions for us ahead of time and I know he prepared a beautiful one for your angel (magical unicorn included). I will visit Taylor's site and prayerfully leave words of encouragement.

God bless you!

A sister in Christ,
Ann <henryannt@verizon.net>
- Friday, September 5, 2003 9:09 AM CDT

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just thinking of you all and wanted you to know that..
mary burns
- Friday, September 5, 2003 7:58 AM CDT

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Alison & Grant, sorry its been so long. I have thought about all of you and kept Alexandria is our prayers and masses. I wanted to send this poem to you... it has helped a little since Beth died:

ASCENSION
And if I go,
while you're sill here... know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure--
behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
so you must have faith,
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
--both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
... I will be there.

(Author, Colleen Corah Hitchcock)

She sent this to me as I grieve, so I send it to you.

Nancy Hunter Moore
New Madrid, MO - Thursday, September 4, 2003 0:11 AM CDT

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Here's to your good days with many more to come. You deserve it. I know your sweet girl is with you and is smiling & chuckling at your little oopsy's!! That's great that you're keeping her foundation going. I would like to get more info on it. Thanks for sharing.
E. Spratt
Eureka, MO - Wednesday, September 3, 2003 2:55 PM CDT

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Alison,
I love the pictures they are wonderful. Just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you and the rest of the family.
God Bless
Christine <mandrake30@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, September 2, 2003 10:51 PM CDT

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Alison...I had to sort of chuckle when I read about your memory loss. I too am suffering with that same disorder of late! Since I lost my Robert, Nov. 17, 2002. I have broken things, tripped over stuff, forgot to put the car in park, lost thoughts mid sentence, I am forever walking into walls and such...there are days I know that I should not be driving...I have told been known to tell people "see this is why I do not drink!" I think it is a by-product of the psuedo fog that we live in. We are surviving in a way are minds and bodies and spirits never comprehended. Hang in there, I am sure that you will. I am also sure the golf tournament will be a success. Take good care, Kathy Charlton
Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel
West Palm Beach , FL - Tuesday, September 2, 2003 7:33 PM CDT

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I'm so glad that you've had such a good couple of days. It's now very nice not to see any updates! I'm glad you are having another golf tournament. Alexandria is very proud of you both.
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, September 2, 2003 9:17 AM CDT

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Hello! It was so nice to see that you actually had 10 good days in a row. I think of Alexandria and your family often. And I believe the work that you and Grant are doing on the Foundation is fantasic. As you say, no reason to not keep that going! GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Take care of yourselves.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Tuesday, September 2, 2003 7:51 AM CDT

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Hi Alison I am sure glad you had those good days - I will pray for more of them for you - love Angel Toto

Angel Toto
- Tuesday, September 2, 2003 0:59 AM CDT

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Alison: What wonderful news that you had 10 good days in a row. Our sweet angel must have been smiling as wide as the heavens themselves to see that. Thoughts and prayers remain with you and yours as always (even if a sick laptop kept me from saying hello). I do hope next week is a better one as well for you, Grant, and the kids.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Monday, September 1, 2003 5:59 PM CDT

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Alison, Thanks for the chuckle! I, too, have not been able to get my keys out of the ignition because I forgot to put the car in park. I felt like a moron when I realized what I had forgotten to do. I'm so glad you've been able to enjoy some very good days. Praying for you always,
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Monday, September 1, 2003 10:44 AM CDT

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Hi Alison,
I'm so glad you had some good days. Prayers continue that you will have more and more of them. I'll bet that what you are experiencing is called "cranial overload," and it happens a lot to busy mothers. Unfortunately, I cannot say with any conviction that it gets better with age, but I keep hoping!
Love,
Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO - Monday, September 1, 2003 8:51 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
As I sang "My All In All" this morning at church, I thought of Alexandria. I will forever remember your precious daughter each and every time I sing or hear that song. Still praying for you to make it through each day with the help of the Lord.
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Sunday, August 31, 2003 4:58 PM CDT

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Thanks for sharing yet another photo of your Sissy:) I loved your idea to shout Happy Birthday to her from the Log Flume, I am sure she heard you all and LOVED it!!
Hugs,
Tracey xo
Canada, - Thursday, August 28, 2003 11:04 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Eileen and Molly here from NJ, just checking in to tell you that we visit your site and have not forgotten "Aunt Michelle's" sister and family. Alison, you shoot from the hip, and thats a gift that comes from a hard road traveled. My admiration for you continues and I will never forget Alexandria as long as I live. Molly still asks about her "leukemia friend in heaven". She was on the Yankee station for a Leukemia fundraiser with her doctor and told me afterwards she wished she could have gone on t.v. with you guys. Amazing how even an eight year old finds you all "unforgetable".
Alexandria's painting is amazing. It took my breath away.
Please tell Michelle we say hello when you speak to her.
Yours truly, Eileen and Molly
E. Healy <FitNJpro@aol.com>
Waldwick , NJ - Thursday, August 28, 2003 8:14 PM CDT

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Thank you for sharing Alexandria's quilt with us,..it's absolutly beautiful!!!

Thinking of you all.......

Love and (((HUGS)))
Eva
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 4:50 PM CDT

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Alexandria's quilt is absolutely beautiful. Loved the pictures too! Continuing to remember you in my prayers.
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, August 27, 2003 11:40 PM CDT

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You are all in our thoughts and prayers. Glad you went out with some friends, keep doing those outings as much as possible. Hope the boys love school.
Jane and Doug Sheats
Springboro, Oh - Wednesday, August 27, 2003 8:16 PM CDT

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I love the six flags pictures. What a wonderful family! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Wednesday, August 27, 2003 10:10 AM CDT

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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I lost my father 5 weeks ago and it has been the toughest thing I have ever gone through. One of the things I do to help ease my grief is to read some of the CaringBridge pages, as we have a friend whose son has leukemia and has had a BMT. When I read these pages - I realize how lucky I was to have had my father for 43 years, and even though it is painful to have lost him, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you all are going through having lost a child. It helps me put my grief in perspective, and has helped me be more compassionate to those who are suffering. So I guess what I am trying to say is thank you for opening up your lives to all of us, and even through your own grief - you are helping others. I have learned to be more open with those who are grieving the loss of a family member, and to allow them the chance to talk about their loved one, as it does seem to help.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter and sister. I will continue to check in on your family and pray that God continues to give you the strength to get through each day. Hold Alexandria close in your heart and she will always be with you. Thank you for sharing her with all of us and for helping others, even in your own time of despair.
Cindy
Roanoke Rapids, NC USA - Tuesday, August 26, 2003 2:51 PM CDT

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Alison, Alexandria's quilts of love page is heartwrenching. I'm so glad I waited to look at it until after the kids went to school today. I just sobbed while looking at it. While the whole family admired the beautiful portrait of Alexandria, Louisa wanted us to print it out so that she could keep it to remind her of Alexandria. She talks about her often, still trying to sort out the why's. I can't even imagine what you go through when you have to answer these questions for your kids. The artist did an incredible job on Alexandria's portrait. I look in her eyes and find peace. I hope you can too, in some measure. Praying for you always...
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Monday, August 25, 2003 11:04 AM CDT

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i've been away from my computer, and just caught up with the last couple of weeks.. i just wanted to say that your entries are so beautiful and touching. you have the right (and the need) to say exactly what you feel, and no one has the right to challenge your feelings... please know how many people out here think of you and your beautiful alexandria every day.. i cannot even imagine what you go thru daily, just hope it helps to know how many people think of you each day. god bless you all.. and thank you for sharing. i agree with others that there seem to be some guilty feelings out there!
mary burns
Albany, NY - Monday, August 25, 2003 7:22 AM CDT

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Alison: Just stopping by as usual to check on you guys. Always missing our Angels. My thoughts and prayers are always with you all.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Sunday, August 24, 2003 7:24 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and praying for peace and comfort.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Sunday, August 24, 2003 9:51 AM CDT

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Thought of you this week as school started. Again, just wanted you to know that even though Alexandria is no longer in pain or suffering, you are still thought about and prayed for.
MIchelle Farmer
Wildwood, MO - Saturday, August 23, 2003 6:36 AM CDT

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Just checking in and thinking of your family. The quilt is wonderful. A loving tribute to a sweet girl!
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Friday, August 22, 2003 11:30 PM CDT

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Ok, that quilt was amazing-what angels they are to have made that for you. My dad ( having lost a child to cancer as well) has said you have to compartmentalize your pain and grief and take it out at times. If you didn't, you simply couldn't go on. The pain of losing a child is so overwhelming and paralyzing that if you think about it fully all of the time you couldn't function or exist. You are doing so well and it's so good to get out and do things - it is self preservation- you have to live in between the times you fully let the grief wash over you. I know you miss her so much. love -
the Day family
Fishers, IN - Friday, August 22, 2003 11:56 AM CDT

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Just checking in. Haven't written in a while, but check on you daily. The oil painting is beautiful. Sending good thoughts & many prayers your way. Take care.
Candice Behm
Portland, OR USA - Thursday, August 21, 2003 3:20 PM CDT

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The "quilt" website is amazing. What a special gift. I can only look at it a little bit at a time...
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Thursday, August 21, 2003 1:24 PM CDT

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Alison,

I visited Alexandria's Quilt of Love today and it is AWESOME! Thinking of you everyday.
Monica Lummus
Eureka, MO - Thursday, August 21, 2003 12:45 AM CDT

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We check in often but forget to sign in. We enjoyed the time together last Saturday. Hope the boys had a good first day of school. We'll keep you in our families prayers.
thomas shoemaker <thomas.shoemaker@direcway.com>
o'fallon, mo usa - Thursday, August 21, 2003 12:19 AM CDT

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Hello Alison & Family,
We tried to email but it was returned so I wanted to drop by and leave you the link to Alexandria's Memorial Quilt ~ we hope you will find peace and comfort from visiting it ~ it was stitched with so much love for Alexandria and all of you - her family and her friends. It is also linked through the Memorial pages on our site. God Bless you all.
http://quiltsoflove.com/memorials/alexandria/alexandriamem.htm

~Hugs & Prayers~
Jean
Quilts of Love


Jean- Quilts of Love <jean@quiltsoflove.com>
Tucson, AZ - Wednesday, August 20, 2003 6:38 PM CDT

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Alison,

Oh Alison, My heart is breaking at the pain you are having to deal with besides the loss of precious Alexandria. I felt just alittle of that same feelings when Holly got sick. I felt some friends that I trusted more wasn't there for us and some friends totally surprised me. I don't know how your total situation is and not about to pass judgement. I will be in prayer for the healing of your heart and the ones that have hurt you, Grant and the children.

I loved the portrait. It was a wonderful picture of Alexandria. The artist does wonderful work.




Anita <www.caringbridge.org/mo/hollyemoore>
Sikeston, MO - Wednesday, August 20, 2003 2:25 PM CDT

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I, very fortunately, have not experienced the pain you have in your life. I have however, experienced not so nice things from family members. Family members are the ones that should hold us up in hard times, and be the most reliable people in our lives. You would think that they would feel such a loss in their own life from your daughter's passing, that it would only be natural to do everything in their power to help ease your pain. Certainly not cause more.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I think that some strike back on your guestbook because of their own guilt, and it helps them to sleep better at night. This journal is YOUR voice. It helps those of us who continue to pray for your family, know what your needs are.I don't believe anything is written maliciously, it's your personal feelings and your struggles.
Thank you for using this source to express yourself, and let others know what your needs are. You have experienced the unthinkable, and I visit various caringbridge sites and honest words help me to know how to pray for you. I hate Cancer, and my way of fighting back is praying for families like yours, and praying that we find a cure so that no other mother has to experience your pain. No one should add entries that cause you more.That's not what it's about.

Jenifer
Wash.Twp., NJ - Wednesday, August 20, 2003 11:45 AM CDT

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Hello, Haddock Family. I have not been by for about 1.5 weeks. Last week I somehow spent 25 hours on my "volunteer" preschool Board position. Go figure!

Anyway, I just updated myself by reading your Journal Entries and am sorry for everything you have to endure. Sharing your innermost feelings on this website is your own personal doing. For those that visit, they should not take it upon themselves to "correct", "teach", or "put you down". I have NEVER walked in your shoes. The scariest thing that has happened concerning our children are trips to the ER for stitches. Because of that, I wilL NEVER try to completely understand what you are going through. Imagining it all, is difficult enough for me. Why on Earth would I try to change what you are feeling, or put you down for what you so willingly share with all of us that visit your wonderful website.

Reading about Jill's portrait made me smile, since I did see the picture the last time I visited and feel it is just beautiful. I don't blame you for sharing the portrait with your family before Alexandria's actual birth date. Your "celebration" (I imagine that is a difficult word to describe the day) sounds lovely. The private gathering of her immediate family and the balloons, cake and trip to Six Flags sounds great.

Although I didn't know of Alexandria for very long before she passed away, she did touch me tremendously and my only regret is that I didn't know her longer. However, your continued updates and willingness to share pictures and innermost feelings keeps me "connected" to her, if you will.

God Bless your family. I will now go and take another peak at Alexendria's beautiful portrait. I think it merits being on her Home Page, it's just so nice! :o)

Take care.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Wednesday, August 20, 2003 9:45 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I have been checking in on you and your family. It is a busy time of year for us parents of school age children. It is a time when being organized will at least eliminate half of the confusion! As far as family goes, I think we all have family members that we cant quite believe are actual blood relative, I know I do. It's knowing "that" and moveing on that can be challenging for us. I have friends that are closer to me than family. Funny how God gives brings these kind of relations into our lives :) There is a reason for everything. Take care and we will be praying for you and your beautiful family.
Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, - Tuesday, August 19, 2003 10:19 PM CDT

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Alison & Grant....your family is in my daily thoughts and prayers. The picture of Alexandria is breathtaking..just as I remember her. Thinking and learning from you always...Anne
Anne Merten <amerten@msn.com>
Westerville, OH USA - Tuesday, August 19, 2003 6:44 AM CDT

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Alison,
I just wanted to let you know that I never feel normal in my grieving until I come here or visit other caringbridge sites. You say things I feel but can't put into words. I know sometimes things sound angry to those who have not walked in our shoes. They should be thankful they do not have to know first hand how it feels. It seems like the world keeps turning while yours comes to an abrupt end. I know I feel like I am on a constant roller coaster of emotions. It is one thing to know your child is not suffering anymore, but another to try and go on without them. You are right in saying that people fade away. I am very suprised at how fast that happend. There are few people who still contact us regularly. I know people don't alway's know what to say, but we still need to know that they are still praying for us.
So from one grieving mom to another I just want you to know I am still praying for you.
Love,
Lisa "Jacob's mommy forever"
Lisa Mosley
- Monday, August 18, 2003 10:26 PM CDT

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Alison-

I know I have left a message for you today on the site but I'm sorry I need to make a comment to "Somewhere in USA". Family and close friends are what keeps us daily going. To have someone so thoughtless as to use this site to slam a family that has gone through more than any of us can imagine, needs a ton of help and prayers!!!!! Our friends and family, NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON IN ONES LIVES AT THAT TIME, are the ones who we need, depend on for support, love, compassion and most of all NO JUDGEMENT!! Until you have walked in the shoes of a grieving mother, father, brother, sister, whoever, then you can give advice. Otherwise lend an ear, shoulder, or your time to them. I regret not taking the time in my schedule to met Alexandria before she left us and you know what that is something I will regret for the rest of my life. So much I could have learned from her about her faith, and lack of fear but I believe that God intended on our families coming together when needed the most. It is hard enough to lay your deepest feelings out there for all to read but then to have someone respond in criticism. Sounds like to me that someone is feeling a little guilty. This site is meant for healing not judgement. Haddock family don't let people like this ruin this wonderful site!!! Talk to you soon Alison.

God Bless you all,


dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Monday, August 18, 2003 9:42 PM CDT

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Dear Allison, I have been a "lurker" for some time now, and after reading your most recent entries, and those of the guest book, I felt I needed to write something. First off, I want to express how touched and moved I am each and every time I visit this website! It is obvious how loved and special Alexandria was! Secondly, I want to say that I am a nurse who works in oncology/BMT, and there are mornings I come home after 12 hour shifts, and cry for hours because of the pain, greif, and amazing spirit I have seen in children and their loved ones. For those who have never experienced it, there are no words that could possible describe what I have witnessed! My point is, if a few 12 hour blocks of my life spent with people I barely know, provide such profound and powerful emotions in me, I can't imagine what it must be like to experience these things as a parent...to live it every second of every day! No one could possibly understand unless they've been there! It saddens me that there are people who don't realize the enormous trial you and your family have been through, and will continue to go through! I pray for them! Please know that I, along with many others, think that You are truly amazing! I will pray that God will continue to watch over you, and surround you and your family with a huge umbrella of love, laughter, comfort, support, and sweet memories to cover you on the "rainy days". Thank you for sharing your daughter and your thoughts and feelings with us! I hope you continue to know what an impact and profound effect you have on so many! God Bless you!
R.B.
Milwaukee, WI USA - Monday, August 18, 2003 8:13 PM CDT

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Boy Alison: After reading your two most recent entries I am convinced that alot of families who have just lost children are going thru the same thing. I too have felt people just drift away or who were never there in the first place. No one, and I mean no one, can ever imagine what us parents are going thru. This enormous loss we have just been dealt is now exacerbated by those who are not there for us. I have talked many times on Meghan's site about alot of the things you discussed, and this is what makes me think, we are not alone. I've thought about trying to get a support group for those of us who have lost our children this year and last. Seems like we all can relate in some respect. I know I'm rambling (as usual). Wanted to let you know I'm here if you need me and even though we've never met, you make me proud. Thanks, and ps: I totally understand when you say you're on vacation (or doing nothing in particular) and the constant "knowing" that a very important part of your family is not there. I hate that feeling. I hate Leukemia. Thanks for letting me vent (as if I don't do that enough) :o)
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <Always Missing My Angel Meghan>
Tears in Titusville, FL USA - Monday, August 18, 2003 6:40 PM CDT

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Hello Allison. I am Ryan Grumish's cousin Jennifer. I have a 9 year old daughter Jordan who is about to start 4th grade. My heart aches for you...I continue to pray for you & both my girls do too. I know what you mean about family & friends being there for you. I sometimes felt like I was alone in doing all I was trying to do for my aunt & uncle when Ryan was sick. I had a few fundraisers for them & a welcome party for Ryan, I know it wasnt much but I am very thankful I was able to do that much. I will be thinking about you & Prayinf for you too. Jennifer www.ryangrumish.com
Jennnifer <greenboys4@aol.com>
- Monday, August 18, 2003 6:37 PM CDT

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Alison - Just a quick note to let you know your family is thought of often. Caringbridge is such a ministry - it is a shame someone would use your guestbook to cause you more pain!! I print some of your entries and tuck them away in my prayer journal. Thank you for sharing - even though it must be difficult.
Tammy Holston <tsholston@aol.com>
Birmingham, AL - Monday, August 18, 2003 6:27 PM CDT

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Alison, if there is one thing I've learned over the years, it's that people don't always do what we want or expect them to do. More importantly, there are often reasons they don't respond how we expect them to. It doesn't mean they don't care about you or love you, it can, and often does, mean that they have lives and their own set of issues too. Just like all of us, our personalities and backgrounds are different. We each respond to tragedies and life events differently - it's what makes us unique. I want you to think about that before you decide to cut someone out of your life. It obviously hurts you a great deal - and it should - but try to give these people the benefit of the doubt - there could be a very good reason for their actions. Life takes us down many paths and everything happens for a reason. Only God has the map.
anonymous
Anywhere, USA - Monday, August 18, 2003 2:53 PM CDT

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Alison - What an amazing and strong woman you are! Don't let one negative comment from some coward hurt you. I have never met you or Alexandria. I just stumbled across your web site one day. I used to be a "luke-warm" type of Christian, but after following you and your beautiful daughter's story it shook me to the core about the type of Christian I need to be.

One thing that might make you laugh a bit is that I used to be too embarassed and shy to sing in church, but after reading of Alexadria's constant singing, despite her cancer, it inspired me to sing in church as well and I haven't missed out on a hymn since! Those songs and Alexandria and your testimonies have brought ME closer to God. Everytime I think of your sweet little girl, it reminds me to sing and enjoy my life to the fullest. Trust me when I say you and your daugher changed lives for the better.

And thank you for being open, honest and out there with your feelings. Sometimes that is the only way to solve a problem. Where keeping it inside, just continues to feed the problem.

Know your family and Alexandria is thought of and prayed for every day by a complete stranger/friend! Take care guys!!
Stephanie
KY USA - Monday, August 18, 2003 2:38 PM CDT

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Alison, thank you so much for sharing your heart here. It helps me know what you need prayer for specifically and who around you needs prayer and for what--thank you for mentioning others who need prayer when you are hurting so much yourself...I am sorry that there are some close to you who have not been there when you needed them. I will continue to pray for God to surround you with what you need at all times to help you through this incredibly difficult situation. Blessings to you and lots of love--you know how to get ahold of me if you need/want anything I can help with. I will, of course, be checking back in on you here.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Monday, August 18, 2003 1:56 PM CDT

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If your family and friends have done things for you, then they are crucified on your website, why in the world would they want to do more for you?
HUH??????????
Anywhere, USA - Monday, August 18, 2003 1:28 PM CDT

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Alison,

I got back from vacation over the weekend and just read your latest entry! I'm glad to hear you spent Alexandria's b-day at Six Flags! What a nice way to celebrate and have fun with the kids! The headstone is beautiful and so perfect for Alexandria. I remember the day she was born. My good friend having a baby and starting a family so soon - I can remember when you told me you wouldn't start a family until you were 30! Ha - funny how things change and our families begin and grow isn't it? I know you are glad you didn't wait! Looking up to you as the awesome mom and role model that you are, I think I was prompted to find someone, get married and have kids! After all, you were so good at it and after a perfect child such as Alexandria coming into the world, who could not want to have children?? The portrait of her is wonderful - the eyes were depicted beautifully. Where are you hanging the portrait? Hopefully someplace where everyone can see and visit Alexandria on earth as the angel that she is in heaven.

Take care and email soon - I'd like to visit the kids!
Monica Lummus <mblummus@earthlink.net>
Eureka, MO - Monday, August 18, 2003 11:27 AM CDT

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Dear Haddock's,
I've been on vacation, but I'm glad to see your new entries. I think about you often, especially on those "big" days of the month. Thanks for sharing so much in your journal. It reaches more people than you know.
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Monday, August 18, 2003 9:07 AM CDT

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Hello Haddocks!!!

Being the hardest thing to have to endure, you and Grant should be very proud of the decision you made on Alexandria's headstone. It represents so much of Alexandria. The granite..her strong strength and faith in our Lord. The heart shape....the BIG heart she shares with all she touches in many, many ways. Everyday is spent thanking her and our Lord for bring our friendship together. Our prayers were answered. We are so excited that Eric has Hunter and Hayden to call his friends and looks so forward to his days with them. One of my favorite sayings is "Sometimes a library of words can't say what a hug from a friend can do." Many, many hugs to you my friend. Talk to you soon.

God Bless,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
O'Fallon, mo usa - Monday, August 18, 2003 8:45 AM CDT

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Once again, a beautiful, touching entry. God bless you all!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, August 18, 2003 8:30 AM CDT

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Allison, Grant and Kids,
I just wanted to stop by and drop you a quick note. I had surgery two weeks ago and have been home recovering, thus my lack of entries. I want you to know that I never stopped praying for all of you and keeping Alexandria close to my heart. I love the portrait......it just takes your breath away. I know the days are very difficult for you and wish that there was something I could do to help. How sad that on top of everything you have to deal with that people are hurting you also. I will also add this issue to my prayers for your family. I am back....and will continue to be here to check on you daily.

Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Monday, August 18, 2003 7:58 AM CDT

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I just can't imagine the pain that you have to deal with on a daily basis. My family and I are leaving today to attend the funeral of a 15 year old boy who died after complications of a cord blood transplant. I just breaks my heart to no end that children keep being robbed from there parents to leukemia. I HATE leukemia. I pray for your family to find some sort of peace, and my thoughts are with on on the 16th of each month.
Debby Roberts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,http://www.caringbridge.org/oh/emilyroberts/
- Monday, August 18, 2003 7:22 AM CDT

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Thinking of you tonight,
hugs,
Tracey xo
Calgary, Ab, Canada, - Monday, August 18, 2003 1:45 AM CDT

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Hi Alison, Grant and kids,
Prayers continue daily for all of you. I loved the painting of Alexandria. Boy, the artist sure got those eyes right! Besides prayers, what can we do for you?
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, - Sunday, August 17, 2003 10:34 PM CDT

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Alison, Grant and Family,
Just wanted to let you know that you would be in my prayers tomorrow and I will be thinking of you. I know the 6-month mark is a hard one...it seems that the shock is really wearing off and reality sets in. At six months, I still had a hard time believing that it all really happened. My prayers are with you tomorrow. Let me know if I can do anything to help you. May God wrap his loving arms around you and give you some peace.
Love

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Friday, August 15, 2003 9:57 PM CDT

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Touch Of An Angel



I felt an angel's touch today,
in the midst of my despair.
Twas sent by God, Himself, to say,
"be still and know I'm there."

To lead through days of darkness,
and light your way with love.
Be still and know, deep in your heart,
I'm reigning from above.

I'll lift you when you stumble,
I'm with you all the time.
I understand and share your pain;
remember child of mine,

The end is coming quickly;
the Lord shall soon appear.
To resurrect the righteous ones,
I love and hold so dear.

And bring them home, into a place,
where broken hearts are healed.
And promises I made to you,
will finally be fulfilled.

This life is but a spot in time,
a place for lessons learned.
Heaven holds the key to all,
your broken spirit yearns.

I sent an angel down today,
to show my words are true.
You're never far, beyond the arms,
of all God's love for you.

All material copyright @Judy Van Meter

You are in my heart and prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to or lean on, please email me. May God draw near and give you strength and hope and allow you to feel the touch of your angel.
Love and hugs
Judy
http://www.catchanangel.com
Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
Cookeville, TN - Friday, August 15, 2003 6:39 AM CDT

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I'm back again to check on you and I still have no idea what in the world you're going through in your heart as you grieve for your precious little girl. Please know that I continue to lift you up in prayer on a regular basis and will not stop. Blessings and lots of love to you in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Thursday, August 14, 2003 11:10 PM CDT

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good luck to your family. It must be terrible. Praying for you, Laura
www.carignbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Thursday, August 14, 2003 2:33 PM CDT

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What a beautiful, beautiful painting... How it captures your daughter's beauty....and those wings are simply gorgeous...what a precious painting. The expression on her face is just amazing. Thank you for sharing that.
After following so many sites, where I am angered by the way cancer has senslessly taken so many precious children, I look at that painting and realize the beauty and majesty of Heaven. Your daughter is in Glory, and the representation of that is incredible.
Continuing to pray for your family and others as they journey through each day until they are finally reunited in Heaven with their angels.

Jenifer
Wash.Twp., NJ - Wednesday, August 13, 2003 8:37 PM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know we are still praying for you and think of you all the time. The pictures are beautiful! Love you guys!
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, August 13, 2003 12:36 AM CDT

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What a special way to celebrate Alexandria's birthday, a beautiful cake, awesome pink balloons, breath taking tomb stone and precious oil painting of your little angel!! May you feel her spirit each and everyday! Praying for all of you.
Kelley Johnson <Kjtaxi4kids@msn. com>
Westerville, OH - Tuesday, August 12, 2003 9:20 PM CDT

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The portrait is just beautiful - brought tears to my eyes. God bless you all!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, August 12, 2003 3:02 PM CDT

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Alison,
My thoughts and prayers were with you all day on Aug. 6th. I can't imagine the pain you felt not having her with you and your family, but I truly believe God gave her and incredible party, one we could only dream of. You will see your sweet Alexandria again. I feel God is too wonderful not to let that happen, and what a great day it will be! I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Connie
O'fallon, - Tuesday, August 12, 2003 10:04 AM CDT

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Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...Sissy's monument, her amazing painting, her precious cake. I am so sorry we missed her birthday, we were out of town. The artist has captured something so special in her expression, it is very comforting, that look of pure happiness:) We continue to keep you in our prayers.
Tracey and family xoxo
canada, - Tuesday, August 12, 2003 2:23 AM CDT

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I cant imagine the depth of your pain and suffering, so I wont pretend to know what its like. But you are in my thoughts & prayers
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Tuesday, August 12, 2003 0:59 AM CDT

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Alison: Thanks for sharing that special painting, and thanks to the artist who knew and loved your special angel so well. You and yours remain in our thoughts and prayers.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Monday, August 11, 2003 11:21 PM CDT

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Happy belated birthday Alexandria! I hope you had a wonderful party in heaven with all your angel friends.
Lisa
Seattle, WA USA - Monday, August 11, 2003 0:07 AM CDT

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Thinking of you-thank you for sharing the beautiful painting.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, August 10, 2003 7:01 PM CDT

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What a beautiful painting- she looks so glorious in it. It must have been so difficult to get through that day, not like the normal days are much easier though. We think about your family all of the time and hope the good days start to outnumber the bad soon. love,
the Day family
Fishers, IN - Sunday, August 10, 2003 12:30 AM CDT

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Hi,was looking at a few pages, and came across yalls. Brought us to tears. This month is a hard month for us also. Our son Matthew Adam Dison was born August 25th 2002 with both AML and ALL type lukemia. He passed away Feb.9,2003 due to liver failur from transplant. He will be celebrating his first birthday in heaven also. Im sure him and your daughter are playing on the streets of Gold.
Nicholas and Tonya Dison <crasycrasy@aol.com,mrscrasycrasy@aol.com _____ www.caringbridge.org/la/matthewdison>
Homer, LA - Sunday, August 10, 2003 1:18 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday to Alexandria in heaven! Her monument is beautiful and so is the oil painting! What a wonderful tribute to her!
God Bless,
Judy Grumish
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il United States - Friday, August 8, 2003 11:41 PM CDT

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Alison, Grant and Family,
I am sorry I am late for Alexandria's birthday. I hope that it was peaceful - I know that she was looking down on you and amazed at the wonderful pink balloons and beautiful cake you had for her. Her picture and the headstone are beautiful.

I have had people accidently change the color/font in Matthew's guestbook before. If deleting the entry doesn't fix it, if you write to caringbridge, they can fix it for you. They have fixed mine several times...

Hope your weekend is quiet and you can enjoy the wonderful weather we are supposed to have. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Friday, August 8, 2003 3:30 PM CDT

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Alison

I have heard so much about the beautiful oil painting you had made for alexandria and your family...what an awesome keepsake of your precious daughter. I think she is portrayed just as she would be happy and dancing with all the other angels in heaven. Thanks for sharing her with us again and I will be thinking of you always.
Kim Behlmann <Kimbehlmann@charter.net>
Ofallon, MO 63366 - Friday, August 8, 2003 2:53 PM CDT

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I just saw the oil painting of Alexandria. It took my breathe away - how beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Debbie Reynolds <acedallas@aol.com>
Wildwood, MO USA - Friday, August 8, 2003 10:43 AM CDT

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Thanks for sharing such personal pictures. The oil painting is just beautiful.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Friday, August 8, 2003 7:26 AM CDT

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i just read the story of your beautiful girl.. she has touched so many lives.. i will hold my nine year old much tighter today -- your love and family touches many hearts...happy birthday, beautiful girl!
mary burns
Albany, NY - Friday, August 8, 2003 7:02 AM CDT

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Just want you all to know you are in my thoughts this week as Alexandria's first birthday in heaven has come.
Paula
Chesterfield, MO - Thursday, August 7, 2003 9:51 PM CDT

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Alison.
I just e-mailed you an apology for changing your book pink. I feel terrible and hope and pray that you can delete my entry and that it will go back to normal. I am very very sorry. I hope this can be fixed!
Lee Ann
- Thursday, August 7, 2003 9:39 PM CDT

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I hope I did not change your guest book all pink. I am sorry I wanted to do pink for Alexandria, then when it added it the whole book turned pink. I hope this fixes it.
Lee Ann
- Thursday, August 7, 2003 9:28 PM CDT

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ALEXANDRIA, We all miss you!
The oil painting is so beautiful my eyes are so full of tears I can't type. Please know you are thought of often and prayed for. Yesterday must have been so hard. I hope you were surrounded with friends and family.

Lee Ann (Kristan's mommy) www.caringbridge.org/mo/kristangrace
- Thursday, August 7, 2003 9:25 PM CDT

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I am so sorry I missed signing on her birthday... I know how the birthdays and holidays are for remembering.... my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Sharon <mopgal@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, August 7, 2003 9:22 PM CDT

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How difficult those birthdays and holidays are- what a sweet way to acknowledge Alexandria's birthday. I know you miss her terribly, and she should still be here celebrating with you. I'm so sorry she's not. take care-
the Day family
Fishers, IN - Thursday, August 7, 2003 6:32 PM CDT

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So sorry I missed signing in yesterday. Happy Belated birthday Alexandria. And, to you guys who are left behind---please know that I'm thinking of and praying for you constantly. Blessings to you. I'll check back soon.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Thursday, August 7, 2003 11:23 AM CDT

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Dear Haddock Family, A very happy birthday to your sweet little angel! Love & Many Blessings are sent your way.
Lynn
Long Island , NY - Thursday, August 7, 2003 10:15 AM CDT

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I am so sorry that I missed signing in on Alexandria's birth date. Your family is amazing to me - the love, beauty, and caring that you share with others is wonderful.

I hope you were able to get through your day as well as can be expected.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Thursday, August 7, 2003 8:41 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday Alexandria! I thought of you so very often yesterday. Allison and family..you have been in my prayers daily. Allison, you are an ispiration. I just thank God every day that you are YOU! I know Alexanria is so very proud of her mommy and daddy.
Kellie McClendon <ckmcclendon@yahoo.com>
O Fallon, MO - Thursday, August 7, 2003 7:50 AM CDT

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I guess I missed Alexandria's birthday by a few hours, but you were all in my thoughts and prayers today. Sending a kiss heavenwards,
Harri T, mum to angel-girl Lowri, and NZ friend of Debbie Hellemeier <timvdw@kcbbs.gen.nz>
Auckland, New Zealand - Thursday, August 7, 2003 1:23 AM CDT

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Thinking of you today on Alexandria's birthday. I know she is having a grand time at her party in heaven. I am sure my neice,Janie, is helping her celebrate along with all of her other Angel friends.
Praying for peace and comfort for you all.
Happy Birthday Angel Alexandria!

Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 8:43 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday, Alexandria
Anita
Sikeston, MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 8:38 PM CDT

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Dear Alison and Family,
Thinking about Alexandria today on her birthday.

The Sheats's Family
Springboro, OH - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 8:32 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday Angel Alexandria....I know Meghan woke you up this morning singing her rendition of Happy Birthday to You and she sings Cha-Cha-Cha just like you do :) I know the birthday balloons sent by your mom and dad and family went straight to you. We sent pink ones to Meghan on her birthday too. I wish you both were here to celebrate but I'm sure all of your angel friends are throwing a great party for you (just watch out for Meghan....she always wants to open EVERYONE's presents :) Happy Birthday sweet girl......
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 6:18 PM CDT

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special thoughts for you today on your sweet angel's birthday.
E Spratt
Eureka , MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 5:19 PM CDT

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I've been thinking of you all day. I know first hand how tough days like this can be. Rest assured, there is a party going on in Heaven! I'm sure both our kids are up to their ears in Silly String. (there just HAS to be Silly String in Heaven!) If Andy had anything to do with the celebration plans, there's a banquet of seafood too!!! Doesn't sound half bad, does it?!?!?! God bless you all
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Wednesday, August 6, 2003 5:12 PM CDT

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Thining of you all today. 10 pink balloons... I know that makes her so happy. Happy Birthday and take care.
Good luck with Abby...how fun!
Mandy
St. Louis, - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 4:34 PM CDT

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I was thinking of you guys today. Alexandria's birthday is also our anniversary. Sending big hugs your way :)
Your friends,
Yvette, Crofford & Family
Yvette Lane
Collierville, TN USA - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 4:26 PM CDT

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Happy 10th Birthday Alexandria. You are always in our thoughts. Allison,Grant Hunter,Haydon Addison You are all in my prayers today and always
Jeanine Riendeau <jrien0512@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 3:12 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday you beautiful Angel! I wish your family peace and comfort today as they miss you so much....but I know they are happy for you too.....have a great b-day!!!!
lori dietz <nevlor_2000@yahoo.com>
baldwin park, ca usa - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 3:10 PM CDT

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Thinking of your precious family today.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 3:08 PM CDT

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Thinking of your family today. Happy 10th Birthday -- Alexandria shared more in her years here, than many do in a life time!
Tammy Holston
B'ham, AL - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 2:43 PM CDT

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Happy Heavenly Birthday ^^Alexandria^^!
Ginny
- Wednesday, August 6, 2003 2:14 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday Alexandria...wishing the brightest rainbows, the biggest balloons, and a million twinkling stars...all for you.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 1:42 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday, Little One!
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 11:32 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday to you Alexandria! All of my love and prayers are for you and your family. I hope that there is a wonderful celebration for you. I have a feeling the stars will be shining extra bright tonight.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 11:26 AM CDT

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Dear Alexandria,
May your first heavenly birthday be a beautiful one.

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 11:15 AM CDT

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HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY ALEXANDRIA!!!!!!!! I hope you're having a great time! I really miss you!!!!!! Watch for the 10 ballons this evening!!! God Bless!
Varsha
- Wednesday, August 6, 2003 10:56 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday Alexandria! Watch for those balloons later today and enjoy your birthday cake! Grant, Alison, Hunter, Hayden and Addison - we are sending extra prayers your way today :)
Nina Hudson
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 10:42 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday, Alexandria! I know you are singing and dancing with the angels! We miss you terribly! Alison, Grant, Hunter, Hayden, and Addison, you are all in our thoughts and prayers, today and always.
The Whalens
O'Fallon, MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 10:15 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday Alexandria!
I hope you have a wonderful birthday in heaven.
Dear Alison, Grant, Hunter, Hayden and Addison, I hope you have a wonderful day in your own special way.
Cheryl Lohmann
Chesterfield, MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 10:08 AM CDT

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Happy 10th birthday Alexandria! I hope you have the biggest piece of cake with lots of pink icing! Alison and family, I will be thinking of you all day with continued prayers for you and your family. Thank you for sharing Alexandria with so many people and continuing to touch peoples lives on a daily basis with your strenth and love. God Bless and lots of extra hugs!
Kim Behlmann <Kimbehlmann@charter.net>
Ofallon, MO 63366 - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 10:05 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday Alexandria! We know this is a tough day for your family, but we also know that you are dancing and singing in heaven! We are thinking of you and your family today and always!
Kevin and Kristen Bly
O'Fallon, MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 9:45 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday, precious Alexandria! We will be praying extra hard for your mommy, daddy, brothers, and sister today as they celebrate your first birthday in heaven, that God would give them extra strength today! We can't imagine the birthday presents in store for you today! Be looking for those 10 pink balloons!

Love you sweetie!
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 9:24 AM CDT

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Please deliver to Heaven's Pink Winged Angel-

Happy 10th Birthday Alexandria!!!! You are tremendously missed here. I hope that each pink balloon reaches you in heaven. I know how hard today is going to be for your friends and family. Please let our Lord know that they are really going to need "special" TLC today. Thank you, daily, for reminding me that life is just to short and precious to worry about the small stuff!!

God Bless,



dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 9:21 AM CDT

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Dear Alexandria,

Happy birthday! We miss you so much each and every day. I am so grateful that you taught me so much about myself and what I was really able to do when I thought I could not. Thank you for sharing your life with me, I am so fortunate to have your love. Your Uncle Michael, and cousins Austin and Ethan also wish you the best birthday ever.
Till we meet again, I love you, Aunt Michelle
Michelle Suter <michelle1210@yahoo.com>
Lewisville, TX - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 9:03 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and praying for you all every day, especially today as you celebrate Alexandria's birthday. God bless you and those pink balloons filled with love!

The Morgans
St. Louis, MO USA - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 8:18 AM CDT

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Happy Birthday sweet girl. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 8:05 AM CDT

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Alexandria, Happy 10th birthday!

I know today must be hard for your mommy and daddy, but I pray that the Lord will give them the strength they need for today. Blessings!
Cindy Wright - Tennessee
- Wednesday, August 6, 2003 8:04 AM CDT

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Happy 10th Birthday to you in heaven sweet Alexandria!!! Send your mommy, daddy and family warm hugs to ease their pain today and forever......

www.caringbridge.org/ky/ryans.hope
Michele, Ryan's mom
Hebron, ky - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 7:35 AM CDT

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The Haddock family- My thoughts and prayers are with you as you head into tomorrow, August 6th, Alexandria's birthday. What greater gift for her than to be in heaven! I hope tomorrow can be filled with warm and loving memories of Alexandria.
Sheila Sellenriek
Wildwood, MO USA - Tuesday, August 5, 2003 10:13 PM CDT

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Thinking and praying for you as we too know the pain and emptiness that comes with the loss of a child. Sending our love from high above - ANGEL COLBY JAMES COLE AND CREW.
jack - colby's daddy forever and ever
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby, UNIONTOWN PA - Tuesday, August 5, 2003 9:40 PM CDT

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thinking of you today and everyday
judy v
- Tuesday, August 5, 2003 11:40 AM CDT

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You are so inspiring- Alexandria must have loved watching you teach at bible school. I'm sure it was so difficult, but at the same time, so fulfilling. Sounds like Abby was in the right place at the right time- maybe Alexandria set the whole thing up. We continue to pray for your family and wish you all the best. love-
the Day family
Fishers, IN - Tuesday, August 5, 2003 8:06 AM CDT

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Congrats, we know you are having fun with your new addition!! Dogs are such great companions; they love us just because...

Thinking of you.


Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO USA - Monday, August 4, 2003 5:14 PM CDT

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Dear Alison & Family, just wanted to let you know that I'm sending loving thoughts and prayers your way today! I hope everyone is enjoying Abby and feeling the love and healing she brings. I can't wait to see pictures of her with the kids.
Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Monday, August 4, 2003 2:28 PM CDT

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I was away for a week and was not able to be online. First, I was so glad to hear that you went ahead and helped with VBS this year. It does sound like it was hard to get through, but you also have a great support system. And ALL of those little children that benefited from your expertise and time...! :o)

I LOVE the description of your new dog! Our family is "in the market", as we had to put our 10-year-old lab down in March of 2002. I am really "itching" to have a dog in the family again...for my entire life I have never been without a dog like this! (And I adore the fact that you went to an animal shelter...there are way too many unwanted pets in shelters.....)

Finally, I couldn't help but look at the number of guests that have signed in since your journal entry last Monday. Nearly TWO THOUSAND more in a week. WOW -- Alexandria just keeps touching more and more people!!!

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Monday, August 4, 2003 1:40 PM CDT

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Alison,
Congrats on the new addition to your family. Dogs are so much fun! I am glad you had a good week at VBS. Praying for you and your family especially in the days ahead...

Nancy Dalton
Wildwood, - Sunday, August 3, 2003 4:22 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I wanted to say how moving an experience it was for me to paint Alexandria's portrait. You had tremendous faith in me, faith I was myself uncertian of. As I looked at the empty canvas, I called on her spirit to come to me and guide my eyes and hands. I asked her help on numerous occasions to help me with this or that detail. There was a serenity, a communion in the hours that I worked to make her image real for you. She wanted to be there with me and there in the painting for you. Hopefully we brought you peace and comfort and a lovely image to ponder and enjoy.
Jill Norton <nortgal@aol.com>
Chesterfield, Mo USA - Saturday, August 2, 2003 10:21 AM CDT

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADDISON!!!!!! I hope you and your family have a wonderful day! God bless!
Varsha G.
- Friday, August 1, 2003 9:20 PM CDT

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Hi Haddock Family, Just stopping by to catch up on how you are doing. You continue to remain in our prayers, and always will. Stop by and say hello to Ryan. He still tears up when talking about Alexandria. Please let him know that you pray for him too, and have not forgotten him. Ryan is on our planning comiittee for Our upcoming Light the Night Walk in Urbana, Il in September. He is speaking at the walk.
He is doing this, through strentgh from Alexandria, and Matt, and others to keep up the fight, and bring awareness to others. Alexandria will remian in our hearts forever.
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com www.lightthenight.org <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il United States - Friday, August 1, 2003 2:28 PM CDT

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Hello Beautiful Family....

No *lurking* today!! I'm happy to hear that you have a new addition. I too, have a beagle. Brutus is his name. We got him when he was 9 months old, he's 4-1/2 now and oh what a joy!! He's a good watch dog, but barks at EVERYTHING! But, that's his nature. He's afraid of water though. When he's out in his kennel, and we turn the hose on for any reason, he tucks tail and runs inside the kennel!! We live on a pig farm...250 very large pigs, he is afraid of them also! It's kind of funny. On days that we let him run the yard, when those things make noise(and it's awful noises), he runs back inside again! Years ago, I used to raise beagles and found that their favorite food is spaghetti. It's no different with Brutus. He loves it too. When I'm cooking it, he's at the door, whining!!LOL
Enjoy your beautiful dog. And have a fantastic weekend!!!

Much love and many (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) to all of you,
Eva
- Friday, August 1, 2003 7:57 AM CDT

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Congratulations on the new addition of Abby to your family....and hide the shoes!! (hee,hee, I speak from experience, having once owned a beagle....Bailey would eat ANYTHING, be it shoes, carpet, sofa, even earphones!!) I bet Alexandria is tickled pink to see the latest family member, from her Heavenly home:) I also think it is a wonderful thing for you to rescue a dog from a shelter, than to buy a puppy from a breeder and it's obvious, she was MEANT for you!! Enjoy her! Thankyou for a wonderful update, it gave me much to think about. God Bless you and your family and keep you safe.
Tracey xo
Canada, - Friday, August 1, 2003 1:09 AM CDT

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I am sure Alexandria was right there with you all at VBS.
You continue to be in my prayers for comfort and peace.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Thursday, July 31, 2003 5:17 PM CDT

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Alison -

Your journal entry touched us very much -- your words are always so heartfelt and written so beautifully! We are so happy to read that you had a good week teaching VBS. Your students sure were lucky to have you. Also, we want to "congratulate" you all on the addition to your family. We're sure that Abby Alexandria will bring lots of happiness! We just wanted to let you know that we still think of you all and keep you in our prayers constantly ---and we will never forget your sweet daughter! She's been such an inspiration to us! God bless you all!

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Thursday, July 31, 2003 5:06 PM CDT

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Thinking of you...and what you are going through as we have walked a path similar to yours. Our daughter, Delaney, became an angel in January 2002. It feels like it was yesterday when we held her in our arms. From this website, Alexandria was an adorable, delightful girl. She and Delaney are now friends in heaven. Losing a child is a loss like no other. Please email me if I can help you in any way.
Delaney's site: www.caringbridge.com/ca/delaney
Amy, Mom of Angel Delaney and Kevin, age 11 <Wright_Amy@hotmail.com>
San Diego, CA - Thursday, July 31, 2003 12:26 AM CDT

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It sounds like you learned and grew from the VBS too. I know it was hard being there with out Alexandria. But, your update was so much more uplifted. Thank you for sharing with us. God Bless
Anita Moore <www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore>
Sikeston, MO - Wednesday, July 30, 2003 10:29 PM CDT

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you and your family are always in our hearts, thoughts and prayers

blessings and hugs to you

angel chris
quilts of love angels

Chris <wardsweb@earthlink.net>
Los Angeles , CA USA - Wednesday, July 30, 2003 5:08 PM CDT

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Congratulations on the new addition to the family. I bet Abby sure is a cutie. I'm glad you got through VBS. Children are amazing. You never know what they might be saying. Take care.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Wednesday, July 30, 2003 2:48 PM CDT

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Alison-

My kids are so lost this week without VBS!!! Eric misses seeing Hunter and Hayden, I miss my morning hugs from Addison and seeing your smiling face each morning!! We have to get these guys together soon! I can't even begin to explain how excited I was to see that you were teaching one of my children at VBS!!! Walking away knowing that he would be learning about our Lord from you was such a comfort. Each day I asked our Lord and Alexandria to be with you and guide you in your teaching. (I can't imagine the VBS they had in heaven with her this year!!) Congrats on the new little addition to your family! Call me soon. Have the boys give Eric a call on the phone maybe that will settle him for awhile until we can get a play date set.

God Bless you,
dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, July 30, 2003 11:54 AM CDT

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Your entry was so beautifully written and so true. You were a great teacher for these children; what satisfaction you have knowing you helped spread God's Word and Love. You are such an awesome mother, wife, teacher, and friend- now dog mommy lol! I just wanted you know I check on your family every single day and when ever you post I always walk away (usualy crying) full of hope and love and just plain grateful for everything we have. God bless you and your entire family!
You are doing the work of our Lord here on earth while your darling Aleaxandria is keeping everything in order in the Heavens above; YOu make a great team!
Lee Ann (KRISTAN"S MOMMY)
- Wednesday, July 30, 2003 8:52 AM CDT

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Just stopping by to let you know I'm thinking about you and praying for you. As we were driving on vacation, the song "Survivor" came on several times and each time, I immediately thought of Alexandria. The journal entry where you mentioned her singing this song is forever etched in my mind and heart and that sound will undoubtedly always cause me to think of your beautiful girl. Take care and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers continually. I will check back soon. Blessings!
khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Tuesday, July 29, 2003 9:32 PM CDT

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Dear Allison,
Thanks for taking the time to update. You sound(read) so good. I know the pain is still so deep and the grieving is forever, but you do sound(read)so much better. Alexandria is so proud of you!! I don't know if I could have done VBS in your situation. You are a very strong lady! Your new puppy will bring you so much joy, the unconditional love of a dog is so rewarding. Blessings to you and your family.
Love,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, July 29, 2003 5:01 PM CDT

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Hello Alison and family-

Just checking in to see how you all are doing. Your journal entries are always so insightful, beautiful and inspirational! It is obvious God has chosen your family to be messengers. You all continue to be in our thoughts and prayers!


Kelli Lanza <klanza@fuse.net>
Cincinnati, OH - Tuesday, July 29, 2003 1:26 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,

Thank you so much for the updates. I must admit that I'm a daily "lurker", just to see how you are doing. We had our VBS last week and I did music from 9-12 everyday. I could hardly talk by our Friday night concert, but I had a blast!
I'm so happy that you got a dog and that she's housebroken!
We got a Lhasa Apso puppy in February that wasn't housebroken and it was a lot of work. He is great now and the kids love him (the cats do not).
We really do miss you guys and the kids still pray for you everyday and still ask about Alexandria all of the time. She touched all of our hearts forever.

With Love,



Sally Forness <Forness2321@earthlink.net>
- Tuesday, July 29, 2003 1:24 PM CDT

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Alison - I copied your journal entry and forwarded it on to the sweet ladies who run our VBS. It made me think......WOW! Sometimes teaching seems like a burden in the middle of the summer and you helped to remind me what a privledge it is! I've printed it, and I'll save it to read come bible school next summer!
Tammy Holston <tsholston@aol.com>
Birmingham, AL - Tuesday, July 29, 2003 1:24 PM CDT

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Hi Alison, thank you so much for updating! It was so good to read your post and so glad you had a wonderful experience at VBS. I'm sure you left a big impression on those children you had all week long!
Congratulations on the new addition to your family. Your little Abby will bring so much love and healing to you and the rest of your family. I believe that animals really are such blessings. They come into our lives at just the right time to bring us much needed healing and love! She definitely sounds like a gift from up above!
Sending loving thoughts your way. And thanks again for the update.

Lynn
Long Island, NY USA - Tuesday, July 29, 2003 9:24 AM CDT

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Good Morning Haddock's! I'm so glad you have a new puppy! She sounds just perfect. I think about you often, and check the websites for updates all the time. I hope your summer continues to be restful and healing.
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, July 29, 2003 9:18 AM CDT

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Hi Allison, I lurk often, sign seldom, but think of you frequently.
My best wishes for the rest of the summer to be good for you and your family.
Take care,

Mary
Manchester , MO - Tuesday, July 29, 2003 9:03 AM CDT

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Congratulations on the new addition - when I got my dog from the APA 7 years ago, I told everyone "she chose me"! :-) Your journal entry was so very touching - it is obvious that God's plan for you is to touch the hearts of all those around you. God bless you all!
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, July 29, 2003 8:42 AM CDT

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Hello Haddocks.. congratulations on the new addition of Abby Alexandria to your family. What joy she will bring to everyone!! Lincoln and Lindley did enjoy VBS last week with all the kids and great Crew Leaders - it was awesome! I found myself singing and dancing right along with them when I came to pick up.. What a great thing to do! Thank you for being a part of it. I'm so sad to be moving and leaving all the wonderful "things" that go on here in this little community of ours. I will NEVER forget the awesome people here. I'll keep in touch with you and the family thru Alexandrias' site and we'll be back to visit often.... Take good care and know I will forever keep you in my thoughts and prayers...and your sweet Sissy Girl.. Love Lisa
Lisa Schwartz
- Monday, July 28, 2003 11:08 PM CDT

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Alison, I visited the site today and wanted to let you know that I think about you, Grant and the kids each and every day. We did VBS week before last too and the kids loved it! Those were some very lucky kids that got you in VBS. Tell Addison "Happy Birthday" from us next week! We miss you!
Monica Lummus
Eureka, MO - Monday, July 28, 2003 10:58 PM CDT

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Alison, it's good to hear there are good days and that you've got some fun time with friends. You remain in our thoughts and prayers. Kathleen
Kathleen Maas-Stokes <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Aurora , IL - Monday, July 28, 2003 9:29 AM CDT

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Alison...

I have not signed the book in a while, though I've *lurked* on a couple of occasions. Just checking on you all!!

You are in my thoughts and prayers, and will stay there!!

Love and ((((HUGS))))
Eva
- Sunday, July 27, 2003 1:58 PM CDT

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Just stopping by to leave you hugs and prayers. You will always be a part of the Quilts Of Love family.
Sincerely,
Island Princess


Island Princess <islandprincess@quiltsoflove.com>
- Friday, July 25, 2003 10:14 PM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know that it does get easier. Each day I think of my angel Andrew and of the pain he experienced during his cancer battle. I hurt that there was ultimately nothing we could do to help but I know he feels no pain now. The pain is ours in dealing with his loss and the fear is ours that we aren't with him but in the end we will all be together again. I am 1 1/2 years down the road. 1 1/2 years closer to being with Andrew again. I am in no hurry but yet I know that that time will come and we will know each other and rejoice at being together but for now my job is to care for his older brother and dad. I hope that the days get easier for you.

Valerie Price
Mom to angel and batman of the Heavens Andrew
Valerie Price <www.caringbridge.com/tx/aprice>
- Friday, July 25, 2003 3:18 PM CDT

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Stopping by to let you know that I think of your family OFTEN.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Friday, July 25, 2003 11:52 AM CDT

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Hi Alison, Still lurking and praying for a very special family.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO USA - Friday, July 25, 2003 11:01 AM CDT

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Alison: Sending thoughts and prayers your way. Thanks for letting us remain part of your lives.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Friday, July 25, 2003 0:28 AM CDT

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Hello Alison and family--
I have just read your story after reading an entry that you put on Taylor's website. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family in their pain. I am fortunate not to fully understand what you or your beautiful daughter have been experiencing with my own children but am daily praying for Taylor. Please know that your daughter is now pain free and healthy in the hands of the Lord.

Sheila Abruzzo <she64@adelphia.net>
Port Matilda, PA USA - Thursday, July 24, 2003 7:48 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers!
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 1:56 AM CDT

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Just thinking of all of you and keeping you close to my heart and in my prayers. Good luck with your golf game...mine is consistently inconsistent - I hope you have better results.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Monday, July 21, 2003 10:48 PM CDT

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Alison,

I'm sorry to hear that the 16th was hard for you again, but am happy to hear that you can remember her with others without tears. She is giving you that strength.

Please remember that many of us are continuing to pray for you and your family and that we read your site often. (Even if we don't always sign the guestbook when we do) We are checking in on you!

In Christ's Love,
Michelle Farmer
Wildwood, MO - Sunday, July 20, 2003 10:46 PM CDT

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Dear Allison & family,
I was just wanting to say hello from the Jones' and that we have been thinking of you alot. Our fridge has yours and Alexandrias picture on it. This summer has been a whirlwind. Jared leaves tomorrow for his training before he goes to Japan for two years for mission work. I know he will be ok but the time will be hard. We love you all. Hope to see you soon, before summer is over.
Joella Jones <jojones@sheltonbbs.com>
New Madrid, - Sunday, July 20, 2003 8:29 PM CDT

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Alison, well hey, at least you are keeping busy, you will get the hang of golf soon! Thinking of you and your sweet Angel Alexandria.....
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Saturday, July 19, 2003 2:11 PM CDT

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Alison, my heart aches so much for you and all that you must be going through. I know I have no idea...I did want to share with you that Alexandria has made such a mark on my life that I think of her at random times--all the time. When I hear the song "survivor" she pops into my head, when I hear "all in all" I think of her. As I have been on vacation, countless times my thoughts have drifted to your beautiful little girl and brought smiles and tears to my eyes simultaneously. Please know that you are loved, prayed for and cared for. Many blessings to you. I will check in when I am back from Disney. I'm sure the Lord will cause me to think of her there as well...
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Friday, July 18, 2003 10:41 PM CDT

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Alison: So good to hear that there are some good days, and that you and your friends are comfortable sharing memories and stories about your angel. She remains such a special part of so many lives.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Friday, July 18, 2003 4:07 PM CDT

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You are doing so well- staying busy is so important. I'm sure Alexandria is laughing and smiling down on you and the family- probably getting a big kick out of your golf game. Your strength is a beautiful way to honor her life. take care-
the Day family
Fishers, IN - Friday, July 18, 2003 1:51 PM CDT

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I think of your family every day & read your updates regularly. No, I do not know what you're going through day to day but I pray for you every night. You are a strong woman & I admire you from "afar".

God Bless!
Kathy Adelson Laucius
Kathy Adelson Laucius <klaucius@sbcglobal.net>
Houston, TX USA - Thursday, July 17, 2003 6:46 PM CDT

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I am glad you are having some good days. Hope you have many more. We continue to pray for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your life with us Alison. Love the pictures!

Nancy Dalton
Wildwood, MO - Thursday, July 17, 2003 5:11 PM CDT

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Just stopping by and have to admit that I missed "the 16th". I know how it feels (not exactly, however), as I think of my deceased mother on the 8th of each month. I like how you say you can take a lot out on that little golf ball. :o) I trust that Alexandria watches over you from Heaven every single moment of every single day. So, she's enjoying all those golf games and sees her Mommy talking about her so often. =)

I had to chuckle about your last line (ending your entry early)! As always, your entry had something enlightening and serious, all in one. Thank you for still sharing your life with others. I always think of you and wonder how your family is doing.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Thursday, July 17, 2003 2:10 PM CDT

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Alison,

Thank you for signing Anthony’s guestbook. It is so nice when people still sign even after Anthony has passed away. Sometimes I think it is comforting to read entries and just remember how I would read them to Anthony. Alexandria had the biggest most beautiful eyes. I’m sure she still uses them to look down on you and laugh at a golf shot. She probably thanks you for using a pink ball so she can find it better.

I wanted to tell you that I took your idea: friends and family that came to the viewing/funeral were asked to write down a special memory of Anthony and place it in an angel box. We are going to make a memory keepsake book with it. Thanks for the idea.

Take care and enjoy your golf game.

Love,

Dina Makoid “Mommy to ‘angel’ Anthony”

www.caringbridge.org/page/anthonym
- Thursday, July 17, 2003 9:23 AM CDT

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Alison, I felt a flood of warmth rush through me as I read your latest entry. I worry about and pray for your family continuously, and will continue to do both. But it was wonderful to read that you had such a great day. My wish is that you have many more.
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, mo - Thursday, July 17, 2003 8:54 AM CDT

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Hi- I just wanted to let you know that Susan Herbek is getting her 10 inches of hair cut on this Thursday!! Turner, Erick and Hunter were in 1st grade together at Green Pines. We decided that we would do locks of love for Alexandria. My hair is finally long enough to get pulled back but I probably have a year to go!!!! We felt like this is something we could do to possibly cheer up a child undergoing chemo treatments. Thank you Alexandria for inspiring us to do something we would have never considered before!!
Connie Neilson
wildwood, mo - Tuesday, July 15, 2003 10:40 PM CDT

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Alison,
Your latest journal entry brings back so many memories and feelings. I pray that make it through the next few weeks with the prayers and support of your family and friends. You are always in our prayers. We miss you.

Ann Newsham
- Tuesday, July 15, 2003 2:56 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I can certainly understand why VBS would be difficult for you. I will pray that you make it through the week and God will send you hope and peace in a very special way.
Love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, July 15, 2003 11:30 AM CDT

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Alison,

Continuing to keep your family in my prayers daily. I've sent you an e-mail.....didn't know how often you check it. God bless you all.

Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, July 15, 2003 10:22 AM CDT

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Alison-

It was soooo good to run into you, Tammy and Nancy at church on Sunday!!! I've really missed seeing you. Hopefully Addison kept her promise and didn't swallow her gum! ;) I know how hard VBS is going to be for you this year. Last year I was working nursery and would see Alexandria walking down the hall with her class. She was having such a wonderful time!! My prayers have been for you to be able to get through that week and touch so many children's lives. You are such a wonderful, inspirational and caring person that I can't imagine us not having you there. Follow your heart and do what is best for you. Not a day goes by that something doesn't bring my attention back to what is important in life and makes me thank our Lord for what I have. I can't even begin to thank you enough for sharing your feelings and Alexandria with me. Since meeting you and your family, my life hasn't been the same.

God Bless you and talk to you real soon,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Tuesday, July 15, 2003 10:10 AM CDT

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I don't know you or your daughter, nor do I remember what brought me to your site. I have been searching caringbridge pages and the pictures of your daughter caught my eye. She was so beautiful, and I'm so sorry that her life was cut so short. I am praying for you along with the other families that I have seen endure the same struggles that you have. May God bless.

Love always,
a friend
Gabrielle
PGH, PA - Monday, July 14, 2003 10:46 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and praying for comfort.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Monday, July 14, 2003 8:14 PM CDT

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Alison: As usual, I completely understand what you're talking about. Last week I received a card from Walmart's Photo Department telling me to bring Meghan in for her birthday pictures (her birthday is July 23rd). I wanted to drive right down there and scream at them (but sanity prevailed) and I sat in my kitchen and cried. Sorry for too much information, but I always check on you and even though I don't write every time I'm here, you always seem to say something I can relate to whether it be the what if's the anger over the treatment, the doctors, etc. Anyway, my prayers are always with you.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Monday, July 14, 2003 5:21 PM CDT

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Alison, I completely understand your latest post! Every day things that you would have never thought twice about before. We got the latest issue of Lego magazine the other day, addressed to Andy...broke my heart all over again. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and include you in prayer all the time. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Monday, July 14, 2003 2:51 PM CDT

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Alison,
Just wanted you to know you are still in our thoughts and prayers. We will ask God to hold you even tighter on August 6th, and I'm sure on my nightly walk I will have to stop by the church and say a special prayer.
Connie Gericke
O'fallon, MO - Monday, July 14, 2003 2:45 PM CDT

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You are always in our prayers.
Kristen Bly
- Monday, July 14, 2003 2:43 PM CDT

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Alison - I will mark Alexandria's birthday on my calendar as a day of "extra" prayer for your family. I'm so sorry - May you find peace in the days ahead......................
Tammy Holston
b'ham, AL - Monday, July 14, 2003 11:04 AM CDT

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Hi, I just found your site through a link on Kristan's page. I read some of the journal history, and Alexandria was a fighter and very brave. I read where you wrote about a lot of your feelings having to do with why so many children get cancer and die from it. I have wondered about that too. I have never had a child in my family have cancer, but my heart goes out to all of them, and I follow many Caringbridge websites. I feel like I have met these kids because they are so special to me. I pray for them and cry for their families when one passes away. I wish that one day soon there will be a guaranteed cure for all childhood cancers.
Amanda <mrlynr1110@aol.com>
- Sunday, July 13, 2003 11:52 PM CDT

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Alison,Grant and Family,
Just letting you know that I will be thinking about you tomorrow as you face yet another month without your precious Alexandria. I will be thinking about you and saying extra prayers tomorrow...I, too, remember all the sadness of July last year. I, too, had hoped that Alexandria would beat this horrible disease. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Church today was a rough one for me, too. The sermon felt like it was written for me, and then during the offering, a violinist played "How Great Thou Art," one of the songs sung at Matthew's funeral. Next Sunday we will place the flowers on the Altar in memory of Matthew. That will be a hard one, too.
Love,


Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon , MO - Sunday, July 13, 2003 9:42 PM CDT

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Dear Alison and Grant:
I have not signed the guestbook in so long and am sorry for that. We continue to keep your beautiful family in our prayers and think of you so often. I have a beautiful story to tell you about my Grandma who just passed away on June 18 from a 4 year battle of cancer. I think it will give you some wonderful peace so next time I see you I'll share it with you . . . Jennifer
Jennifer Mobarak
O'fallon, mo - Saturday, July 12, 2003 3:23 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
My daughter is in the mist of recovering from a bone marrow transplant. I just want to let you know how much you have helped me and to thank you for taking your personal experience and educating us (parents of children with cancer)on how to deal with this unbarable disease.
You are truly a blessing for so many of us.
Thank you again.
If you have time, take a look at Kelly's page they are alike
in so many ways.
God bless Alexandria and your Family!




Kelly DeDomenic

Nancy DeDomenic <www.caringbridge.org/pa/kellydedomenic>
Pgh, Pa - Saturday, July 12, 2003 2:00 PM CDT

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Havent been able to go online due to moving, but just letting you know that you are still in daily thoughts and prayers of ours. Blessings.
Katy Davis <katyandvince@hotmail.com>
Foristell (temporarily), MO USA - Saturday, July 12, 2003 1:34 PM CDT

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I too lost a chiold so I know the pain and the frustration that comes from it. Time will help but will never totaly heal your pain. I am so glad to read in here about your wonderful friends and support team. I know I never could have got by without mine and I know we all need them. Please know too that I continure to pray for peace and less pain for your family. May GOD bless you all
Sharon <mopgal@hotmail.com>
Dardanelle, ar - Saturday, July 12, 2003 12:32 AM CDT

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As always (even during the last few entries), you make me stop, think, and smile for a moment. While I never got to meet your daughter, and I do not know her family at all, she has a special place in my heart.

I don't think there is any need to apologize for not acknowledging things in your last entries. You are a family in grieving and have every right to vent or share, as the time seems fit.

My heart continues to ache for your family and those in similar situations.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Saturday, July 12, 2003 10:20 AM CDT

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Alison,
Your friends will always be here for you!!!
Our "special friendship" means so much to me!!
Forever your friend,
Nancy
Nancy Cole
O'fallon, - Friday, July 11, 2003 9:28 AM CDT

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Just letting you know that your family is still held close in thought and prayer.
Maria
NJ - Friday, July 11, 2003 7:25 AM CDT

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Alison: Thank you for letting us know that you have close friends that can provide you the immediate support that electronic communication can only approximate. That brightens our hearts. Take care, my dear.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Thursday, July 10, 2003 10:46 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
It's wonderful to read that you have had a great support system through this difficult time. May God bless all of the friends and family that have helped ease your pain. I never doubted how appreciative you were of all people had done, even though you had written some heart wrenching journal entries. You need to put it in the journal, it is Alexandria's story, it was the journey you and Grant took with her. People need to read about the frustrations you went through. I have NO doubt that at least one person will approach the medical community in a different way because they read those entries. That is not saying you did anything wrong, I believe you and Grant did everything humanly possible to help Alexandria. Many, many blessings have come and are yet to come from Alexandria's life and she will never be forgotten.
In Him,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Thursday, July 10, 2003 7:05 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks,
Even though we are away for the month and can't see you everyday, we are thinking about you everyday. Brett talks about "his friends" all the time.
We miss you and will see you in August!!
Lots of hugs and kisses!
The Mazur's
Tracey Mazur
- Thursday, July 10, 2003 6:30 PM CDT

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Know that God and Alexandria have you folded in their arms. Hang in there!
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, Al - Thursday, July 10, 2003 5:01 PM CDT

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Alison, visited your site today to see how you are doing. Thinking of you,

Monica
Monica Lummus
Eureka, MO - Thursday, July 10, 2003 2:57 PM CDT

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Hey Alison,
I found Alexandria's website through Gooch's site. I'm very sorry to hear of your precious little one's passing. God has reasons for these things happening. I don't understanding them nor do I like them. I just now that he must need some wonderful precious little angels in heaven for a reason. My son, Tommy, also has ALL. And he lost his best friend last month to a infection caused by the ALL. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your husband always. My God Bless You Both.
Hugs and Prayers,
www.caringbridge.com/sc/tommygresham

Dawn Gresham <bdmtg@hotmail.com>
Warrenville, SC - Thursday, July 10, 2003 2:55 PM CDT

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Alison & Grant-

God certainly knew what he was doing by giving you Alexandria. So many crumb under this kind of tragedy. But you guys are a wonderful example at holding on to what means soooo much to you and doing it together. Unfortunatly anger is one of the steps of grieving. No need to feel bad about your last journal entries. Alexandria's site is also meant to help families, the only way to do that is to be honest. I think about you guys daily.
dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Thursday, July 10, 2003 11:49 AM CDT

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Alison...I check in on you often...your journal entries truly touch my heart. I wish there was something that I could say or do to eliminate the pain that you are feeling. I too am a mother and I cannot begin to fathom what you are going through. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I am in awe of your daughter...she is amazingly beautiful...I wish that I could have known her.
In Christ...Rhonda
Rhonda Byars <jbyars@austin.rr.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Thursday, July 10, 2003 11:18 AM CDT

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Just checking in and hoping that you continue to heal. Thanks for the pictures of the kids...that's my favorite part of your website!
Kristy
Ballwin, MO - Thursday, July 10, 2003 10:27 AM CDT

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Just a note to let you know I'm holding you up in prayer today. Remember, God said He would NEVER leave us or forsake us even though we feel loss, His promises are forever sure.
Carla Rhines (Kailie's Grandma)
Kansas City, KS - Thursday, July 10, 2003 7:36 AM CDT

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I am always thinking of you and your family and praying that you are doing well. The latest pictures are precious, thank you for sharing them.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 11:14 PM CDT

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Dear Alison and family,
Just want you to know we are thinking of you,Alexandria and praying.
The Sheats Family
Springboro, OH - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 9:08 PM CDT

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Just checking in. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 12:29 AM CDT

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"Gods Finger Touched Her And She Slept"




*HUGS*
- Wednesday, July 9, 2003 8:51 AM CDT

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Always praying.........and NEVER FORGETTING!!!

Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 8:07 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and praying for peace.
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 0:29 AM CDT

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Checking in and Praying for you all often!
Elaine R (Nancy Cole's cousin)
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, July 8, 2003 4:43 PM CDT

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Hi Alison, I lurk several times a day, but it takes time to digest what you write and then come up with something meaningful to write and I often can't even do that. I cannot begin to know what you are going through. I pray for you, Grant, and the kids daily.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO - Tuesday, July 8, 2003 8:02 AM CDT

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Hi Haddock Family, I seem to only write when I see a new update, but check in often. I just wanted to let you know you are thought of and sending loving, healing, & blessed thoughts to you today!

A caring soul
Long Island, NY - Tuesday, July 8, 2003 5:32 AM CDT

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Hi guys,

I am sitting here at work listening to "You Are So Beautiful" and I wanted you to know how much we love you guys and that we continue to pray for you and the kids each day.

Thank you,
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Monday, July 7, 2003 1:18 PM CDT

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My thoughts and prayers are with you and family.
Anita
Sikeston, MO - Monday, July 7, 2003 10:14 AM CDT

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Dear Haddocks, just saying hello and our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Kathleen Maas-Stokes <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Aurora, IL - Monday, July 7, 2003 8:35 AM CDT

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Alison, Grant and Family
Just stopping by to let you know that I was thinking about you. I love the new pictures of the kids. Alexandria always has such a beautiful smile on her face! I am sure that she and Matthew and all the other angels had a wonderful view of the fireworks from up in the balcony. Hope you had a safe Fourth of July. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Sunday, July 6, 2003 8:03 PM CDT

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Alison, I am so very sorry for what you are going through. Your words pierce my heart like a knife. Why? Because I know they are true---all of what you said about the doctors is true. Although I know the what-ifs are a normal part of grieving, your situation is a bit different because it surely seems like there is so much more they could have done. Please know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and I am here for you in any way that I can be during this extremely difficult time. Blessings to you. I'll check back in soon.
khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Saturday, July 5, 2003 3:33 PM CDT

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Today is July 4th. I remember many good times on this date in years past celebrating with Alexandria and your family and other friends and neighbors. Waitng 'til dark to watch the Ellisville fireworks from your backyard in Autumn View. Tonight we'll drive over to the retirement home hill and watch from there. I will never forget those fun holiday moments with Alexandria. She loved those sparklers.
Love, Judy
- Friday, July 4, 2003 7:23 PM CDT

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Alison: As always, you speak from and to the heart and we learn ever more. Thank you for your candor and your ability and willingness to share even those areas and arguments you didn't win. May the Lord continue to support and sustain you, Grant, and your little ones.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Friday, July 4, 2003 4:22 PM CDT

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Alison,
Just wanted to let you know you are still in our prayers. Thank you for the new pictures of Alexandria. The picture of her having tea is beautiful! She looks like a little China doll.
Connie Gericke
O'fallon, MO - Thursday, July 3, 2003 4:40 PM CDT

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I feel that your words, straight from the heart, are definitely words of teaching. Teaching other families that might be searching other CaringBridge sites for answers to their own children's illnesses. Teaching those other families that have never walked in your shoes. I have never been personally involved with anything close to what your family has gone through with the care and treatment of dear Alexandria, but I know that if I ever do I will clearly remember your words. Question EVERYTHING and try your hardest (as your family did). It sounds like you did everything imagineable, and that - unfortunately - the staff goes by "normal routine" in many ways. From the numbers you gave, it sure does sound like Alexandria's number should have been checked sooner. :o(

I just love the song your sweet little girl has made up.

~~ As always, your family remains in my thoughts and prayers. ~~

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Wednesday, July 2, 2003 1:59 PM CDT

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Oh my God, I read your most recent entry & it completely breaks my heart for you & your children. The song your sweet 4 year old made up & your boys comment, jeez, I don't know how you can hold it together. I do hope that you aren't carrying any guilt regarding shoulda woulda coulda's... you did EVERYTHING you could for your precious angel. It seems like the doctors & researchers could do more. There is way too much of this. My family recently returned from Florida & each day as I sat on the beach I thought of the picture of Alexandria on the beach with the caption of "Sissy finds Seashells on the seashore". It still makes me cry.
E. Spratt
Eureka, MO - Wednesday, July 2, 2003 10:56 AM CDT

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Alison and Grant-

Just wanted to take the time to say "THANK YOU" for always being so honest and forth right in your journal entries. So many out there do believe that you should not question the medical field NOT!!!! Remember they have been given a gift from God not his full power of healing. They need to not treat families as if they are beneath them. I know there are doctors out there that do that but the are few and far between. Know you are always in my prayers and thoughts. The other day I came across this poem and it made me think of Alexandria.

When tomorrow starts without me

When tomorrow starts without me
and I'm not there to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today
while thinking of the many things
we didn't get to say
I know how much you loved me
as much as I love you
and each time that you think of me
I know you'll miss me too
But when tomorrow starts without me
please try to understand
that an angel came and called my name
and took me by the hand
and said my place was ready
in heaven far above
and that I'd have to leave behind
all those I dearly love
But when I walked through Heaven's gat
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me
from his great golden throne
He said, "This is eternity
and all I've promised you
Today for life on earth is past
but here it starts anew
I promise no tomorrow
for today will always last
and since each day's the same way
there's no longing for the past."
So when tomorrow starts without me
don't think we're far apart
for everytime you think of me
I'm right here in your heart.

God bless you,


dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, July 2, 2003 10:13 AM CDT

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I am praying for your family. I can't imagine the grief your family is going through. Just remember all the prayers going to God on your families behalf. You have an amazing family and your faith is always a wonderful witness to others. God bless you.
Friend in Christ
- Wednesday, July 2, 2003 10:05 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and praying too. God bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, July 2, 2003 8:54 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
WE MISS ALEXANDRIA SO MUCH, TOO!!!
GIVE HUNTER, HAYDEN, AND ADDISON A HUG FOR ME!
MUCH LOVE,
NANCY
nancy cole
O'fallon, - Wednesday, July 2, 2003 8:53 AM CDT

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As I go skipping off to the pool with my kids today, I do so with the image of Alexandria at the beach etched in my mind.
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Wednesday, July 2, 2003 7:42 AM CDT

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Alison,
My daughter is 4 and also sings about her brother and so I know exactly what you mean. We also cry together. She also feels the need to tell complete strangers that her brother died and it just breaks my heart. Praying for you.
Love,
Lisa
Lisa Mosley <motherof4angels@hotmail.com>
St. Peters, MO - Wednesday, July 2, 2003 0:04 AM CDT

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Grant and Alison,
Altough we have'nt written in a while, you all remain in our prayers. Your entries are so eloquent and reflect so much feeing- please know that we continue to pray for all of you.
Scott Vena <forchiefs@aol.com>
Overland Park, KS - Tuesday, July 1, 2003 9:57 PM CDT

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Allison, thank you once again for sharing your journey with us. Please know that I continue to hold your family in prayer, and your precious angel, Alexandria in the highest light.
Lynn
Long Island, NY - Tuesday, July 1, 2003 9:47 PM CDT

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As always, your entry is so nicely put. I think of your family so very often...


Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Monday, June 30, 2003 2:30 PM CDT

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Saying prayers for you & your family. Take care of each other. Have the best 4th possible. Love & prayers, Candice
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Monday, June 30, 2003 12:13 AM CDT

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Hi! Just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you today. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's mom forever)
- Monday, June 30, 2003 12:11 AM CDT

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Continuing to remember your family in prayer!
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Monday, June 30, 2003 11:56 AM CDT

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STREETS OF HEAVEN

Hello God, it's me again
2:00am. Room 304. Visiting hours are over
Time for our bedside tug of war
This sleeping child between us
May not make it through the night
I'm fighting back the tears as she fights for her life

Well it must be kind of crowded on the streets of heaven
So tell me what do you need her for
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever
But right now I need her so much more
She's much too young to be on her own
Barely just turned seven
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of heaven

Tell me God, do you remember the wishes that she made
As she blew out the candles on her last birthday cake
She wants to ride a pony when she'd big enough
She wants to marry her daddy when she's all grown up

Chorus

Lord don't you know she's my angel
You got plenty of your own
And I know you hold a place for her
But she's already got a home
Well I don't know if you're listenin'
But praying is all that's left to do
So I ask you Lord have mercy, you lost a son once too

And it must be kind of crowded on the streets of heaven
So tell me what do you need her for
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever
But right now I need her so much more
Lord I know once you've made up your mind there's no use in beggin'
So if you take her with you today, will you make sure she looks both ways
And would you hold her hand when she crosses the streets of heaven

The streets of heaven



Renee
- Monday, June 30, 2003 1:22 AM CDT

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Allison: You and yours stay in our thoughts and prayers. May you share a special 4th.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Sunday, June 29, 2003 6:02 PM CDT

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Allison, Consider yourself validated. I think it to not voice this would be wrong. To have known or even be on the same planet as your precious courageous Alexandria is everyone's privilege. If some disfunctional person who happens to be a doctor of research has a defense mechanism that ignorant and callous, it's obvious that he's ridden with guilt. They don't have the luxury of working with lab animals. That rude comment was so hurtful. You did the very best that any of us would be able to do for our kids. We all meet these strangers and have to act fast and invest our souls in them. It's not like selecting a vehicle where you can take your time and shop around comparing and contrasting. The hospitals vow that the Drs. have the credentials for the services we're in desperate need of. What else can you go on when there is no time to waste. You and your family continue to be in my prayers.
Dianne Roth <pjroth@bigrivertel.net www.caringbridge.org/mo/jackiesjourney>
Cape Girardeau, MO - Saturday, June 28, 2003 11:00 PM CDT

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Alison, I know, I am so upset at the amount of kids being diagnosed and lost. Its sickening.
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Saturday, June 28, 2003 7:23 PM CDT

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Our prayers are with you!
Wendy Lincoln <wendy.lincoln@cox.net>
Oakton, VA USA - Saturday, June 28, 2003 8:04 AM CDT

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Grant, thanks for passing along the link to this website. It is very well done and such a great way to honor Alexandria.
Mike Lincoln <mlincoln@cooley.com>
Oakton, VA USA - Saturday, June 28, 2003 7:48 AM CDT

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Hey Alison. Thank you so much for sharing that. Many people don't seem to understand how we can have human emotions and still love God with all our hearts. You OBVIOUSLY do. Anyone in your situation who isn't angry is either in denial or shock. Even GOD is angry and He weeps with you just as He weeped with Mary over the death of Lazarus. I too am sorry that you were not able to get Alexandria the help she needed more quickly. Situations like that cause me to praise God for placing me with the doctors that He did place me with. And, you are right, it's ok to be mad at God--He can take it and He knows what anger is. I love you dear and I'm still right here should you ever need a shoulder to lean on. I know there's not much more I can do from way out here other than keep praying and leaving you notes. I will keep doing that but please don't hesitate to contact me if there's absolutely anything else I can do. I'll check on you again soon.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Friday, June 27, 2003 7:39 PM CDT

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You have every right to be mad, angry, furious, devastated, heartbroken, inconsolable, etc. I've watched my parents walk around with the same hole in their hearts for almost 8 years now. You are doing the best you can to deal with a devastating situation- we think of you all of the time. Love-
the Day family
Fishers, IN - Friday, June 27, 2003 6:56 PM CDT

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I continue to lift you and family in my prayers.
Anita
Sikeston, MO - Friday, June 27, 2003 11:24 AM CDT

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Alison, Once again, I must thank you for opening up your heart and soul to us, enlightening all of us to a whole new dimension of life. I truly believe you do understand what God's plan is all about. We live on many different levels, spiritual, mental, physical. And in my opinion, you have fully explained what each level represents. Whether other people understand this, is not your calling. It's up to them at their own level of understanding, what it all means. I continue to pray for your family and hold your precious Alexandria in the highest light! You are a remarkable woman, going through grief and healing in a very HEALTHY way, I think! And I am so grateful that you share your journey with all of us, on such a personal level. You have so much to offer, so much to teach. Thanks again Alison, for being so open and honest and coming right from the heart. It really is greatly appreciated!
Much love and many blessings to you and your family!
A caring soul
Long Island, NY - Friday, June 27, 2003 6:31 AM CDT

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Thank you for your honesty and wonderful reminders that every day is a blessing, every child is a gift from God. You have no idea how many people's hearts and souls you are touching. Thankyou! My prayers are with you.
Elaine Riazi
St. Charles, - Thursday, June 26, 2003 4:58 PM CDT

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Sometimes rode blocks are put in our way because it wasn't God's plan. God's plan just wasn't for Alexandria to stay here on Earth. God uses everything to His good. There is going to be blessings to come from this just let God use you to your fullest. God is already using your family and Alexandria has touched some many lives. You have a talent in writing let God use that gift.

I also believe that SOME doctors thank they are god. When that happens God doesn't use them like they should. God will use their talents elsewhere. They will have to come back to God and realize it is from Him before their talents will be for His glory and not their own.
Concerned
- Thursday, June 26, 2003 3:26 PM CDT

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Alison.
Thank you for mentioning Kristan and her doctor being the exceptionaly great person he is. I know we could have not made it through without him for one discovering her dx, but for two mentally he helped us overcome so much anxiety. What I mean by this is if he said something was o.k. and to not worry; we did not have to second guess. We were able to put all our faith in knowing he knew the right thing to do. There were so many times we second guessed ourselves wondering if we were doing the right thing going to transplant and because of this one doctor we were able to trust him, whole heartedly. We felt like he was Kristan's guardian angel and I pray all the other parents can find a doctor that can make them feel like you do not have to go out and look for the treatment they need but to be able to trust them. To be able to know they are listening to you and doing everything humanly possible for your child. I wish you all could have had this and I feel so badly that you weren't. I know you all are angry, it is so understandable and I know I would be too. I am glad that you are having good days too. You have such a beautiful family and you are so talented in how you are always helping others. You all are truly blessed to have one another. I hope to talk to you soon.
Lee Ann (Kristan's mommy)www.caringbridge.org/mo/kristangrace
Scott City, Mo - Thursday, June 26, 2003 2:22 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
The pictures of your family are just beautiful. I was so glad to see the update and I do believe in your grief, you are continuing on with life as best as you can. You write so well, and express your feelings with such articulation. I do not blame Grant for being downright angry and you too. I remember when you were trying to get Alexandria to start the treatment and see another Dr. It seemed as though road blocks kept being thrown up all around you. I just pray that you believe and know that you and Grant did everything possible in trying to help Alexandria. I will continue to pray for you to find peace and comfort that only God can provide.
In Him,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Thursday, June 26, 2003 12:09 AM CDT

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Alison, You always put things into words so well. A year ago today Adam had his transplant. Wow how things change in a year. I can still see him laying in that bed and getting those magic cells. Another mother that we met at transplant now has told me that she questions wheather the right donor was chosen for her son. He also has passed away. When we left home we were told that Adam had a 5 out of 6 cord blood match. When we got to MN they told us it was a 4 out of 6 but a higher cell dose. They told us the cell dose was more important. Well our friend told us that she know found out that one of the drs. was doing a study to see of 4 out of 6 with a high cell dose was better than a 5 out of 6. Well when we asked the drs this before transplant they made it sound like they had proof of this. I wish I had the guts to pursue this and find out the truth behind it. I just dont have the energy though. When Adam relapsed they told us that it now was a hemonc problem not a transplant problem and we would have to deal with the hemonc drs. interesting though we were in Mn for 6 days after he relapsed and we never saw a hemonc dr there. When we were med flighted home we arrived at our hospital around 11 and low and behold our attending and fellow was at the hospital waiting for us. Now that is what you call drs. I share your frustration, but bottom line is I really dont think anyone holds these drs accountable for the things they do. Know that I think about you often and pray for you. Take care and God bless you.
Ruth Trombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
Westerly, RI - Thursday, June 26, 2003 11:11 AM CDT

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Alison, I know you haven't heard much from me. It's only because I am so scared to put my feelings into words. There is not a day that goes by that I don't count my blessings that Casey is doing well. It will be nine months post BMT this coming Wednesday. Life of hospitals and IV pumps are far behind us but I can still hear the pump alarms going off. I find myself returning to last year's calendar to find out what was going on last year this time. They tell me this is normal!?! I too look back and realized just what a guinny pig Casey was. Anyone going through the same thing, have faith in your doctors but ALWAYS question them and get a second opinion. If you don't like that one, get a third. And, like Alison said, don't waist time doing it. Alison, I think of you often and wish the best for you, Grant and your family, God be with you always, Mary Axford
Mary Axford <Mary.Axford@cox.net>
Scottsdale, AZ - Thursday, June 26, 2003 10:14 AM CDT

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Alison -

I'm glad that you have this website as an outlet for your anger. I believe that is one reason it is here. God have you a wonderful tool and you should use it to it's full extent. I chastise anyone who would look down upon you or anyone else for the way they are grieving for their child. No one, not me not even another grieving parent, knows exactly what it is like in your particular situation. I praise you and Grant for leaning on God in this unthinkable situation. That is what he is here for and that is what Alexandria would want you to do. I'm sure by the way you talk about God that you gave Alexandria a reason to lean on him as well. Know now that she is up in Heavan in perfect form. You seem like a very intelligent woman who completely took it upon herself to see that her daughter had every type of medical opportunity available, those of course that the red tape would allow. I hope you do read these guestbook entries and realize that there is a whole world out here that prays for you family and the families of all the other grieving parents and sick children in the world. What I take away from you journal entries is your strength and the fact that I thank God each and every day for my healthy children. I do know, however, that in the event that one of my daughters would get sick I would be able to stand a little stronger knowing that I was not alone. God bless your family, I do each night. Whenever we say her prayers we have a few families in particular that we pray for each night. My daughter actually asked me who Alexandria was and I simply explained "A little girl who got very, very sick and went to Heavan."

Take care!
Connie, Megan & Jenna
Connie Gross <cgross@erac.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Thursday, June 26, 2003 9:40 AM CDT

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Alison and Grant-

What beautiful photos of Alexandria and her brothers!!!!! You wrote in your recent journal entry something that truly as a parent is hard sometimes to accept that our children are NOT ours but on LOAN to us from God. WOW!!! He believes in us sooo much that he gives us his own to mold and shape into decent human beings, but why does it need to be so hard to let go and give that gift back. Oh the questions I have when I reach heaven!! I pray that with the passing of each day that your grieving and suffering heals more and more. Know I miss talking to you and hope that soon we can get together.

God Bless you,


dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Thursday, June 26, 2003 9:10 AM CDT

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Hi Alison and Grant, Wonderful photos of some beautiful children. Your journal entry should be a "must read" for the medical community. Prayers for you and your family continue.
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO USA - Thursday, June 26, 2003 8:25 AM CDT

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Allison and family,
What a beautiful entry and pictures. You state things so clearly and honestly. I love that about your entries. No one should attempt to judge or criticize anything that you say. I have not walked one minute in your shoes and I dare not try to say anything to make it better. Just please know that you all continue to be in my prayers each and every day. Alexandria, and your whole family, have made such an impact in my and so many other lives all over the country. May God continue to hold you all in His arms and guide your steps each day.
Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, June 26, 2003 8:19 AM CDT

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Good morning, Prayers to your family from a long time "lurker". Your faith and love is inspiring.
Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester , MO - Thursday, June 26, 2003 8:16 AM CDT

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My thoughts & prayers remain w/ you. I faithfully check your site EVERYDAY to c if there is an update. PLEASE know MANY people out here are praying for ALL of you. WONDERFUL pictures and thanks for sharing them.
huge hugz!!!
Jolene H. <TrentNSaydsMama@aol.com>
OH USA - Thursday, June 26, 2003 7:52 AM CDT

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Thank you for sharing those wonderful pictures of your beautiful children. I pray for your wonderful family every night. I admire your strength, ache for your loss, and find that I think more often about God whenever I visit your site. Alexandria is one beautiful angel,,,she will serve you tea in Heaven someday. Hold on, keep raising those other wonderful children. You have an amazing family in a day and age where things are so taken for granted.
God Bless you all.
Eileen and Molly <FitnjPro@aol.com>
waldwick , nj - Thursday, June 26, 2003 6:15 AM CDT

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Absolutely LOVE the picture of Alexandria with the tea cup. Did you take that shot? What an exquisite photo!!

BTW, we are acquainted with the Bergamini family and I believe you would enjoy the entire clan :)
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, June 25, 2003 11:52 PM CDT

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Alison,
Thanks for coming to visit me in the hospital the other day! It really meant a lot to me and it was good to see you in person! I know things are still very tough for you and Grant, so it means even more that you took the effort to stop by. I'm glad you are busy with your business - take care and keep in touch. Love, Monica
Monica Lummus
Eureka, MO - Wednesday, June 25, 2003 7:40 PM CDT

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Remembering sweet Alexandria. Yes, this world is losing some terrific children! A cure MUST be found, yesterday!

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook:) (Leukemia AML M4)

Tracy and Katia
- Wednesday, June 25, 2003 2:32 PM CDT

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Alison and Grant,
Just wanted to let you know that your family is never far from my thoughts and prayers. I still check in almost everyday (although I don't always sign in). Your faith has taught me more than I could ever describe. Thank you for sharing your journey.


Nina
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, June 25, 2003 1:34 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today. You are in my prayers always.
Maria
NJ - Wednesday, June 25, 2003 8:31 AM CDT

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Sending love and prayers your way tonight. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Tuesday, June 24, 2003 8:22 PM CDT

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I wanted to post some encouraging news...our son who was diagnosed with ALL leukemia when he was 2 yo is now finished with chemotherapy and gets his mediport taken out at the end of July!! Our story has a happy ending and hope that helps in some small way to know that some of the little ones are making it!
Sue Novick <canovick@Hotmail.com>
Hickory, PA USA - Tuesday, June 24, 2003 5:41 AM CDT

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You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Tuesday, June 24, 2003 0:06 AM CDT

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Praying for you, no words to be said, just prayers. May you feel God's presence in your lives each and everyday.
Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Monday, June 23, 2003 12:08 AM CDT

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Good morning - I lurk so often - but I do want you to know I check on you each morning before I start my day and say a prayer for your family. God Bless........
Tammy Holston
B'ham, AL - Monday, June 23, 2003 7:20 AM CDT

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Alison, I just wanted to say hello and let you know that we think about you and your family often.
~Yvette
Yvette
Collierville, TN USA - Sunday, June 22, 2003 10:21 PM CDT

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.
.
- Sunday, June 22, 2003 8:06 PM CDT

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Hello, Haddock family. Just stopping by to let you know I'm thinking about.

God Bless.
Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Sunday, June 22, 2003 8:42 AM CDT

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Just wanted you to know that you were on my mind and that I'm praying for you.
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Saturday, June 21, 2003 9:05 PM CDT

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Alison and Grant: All I can offer are thoughts and prayers, but you and your family and Angel Alexandria remain in them.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Friday, June 20, 2003 10:35 PM CDT

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This is a very poignant excerpt from another heartbroken mom's journal who also lost her beautiful baby daughter to this horrible disease.
Dear 'lurkers', (this mom calls them 'stalkers', LOL) please visit Meghan's web page at; www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney if you can.
God Bless the Little Children, and their parents.


Wednesday, May 7, 2003 4:07 PM CDT

As if today wasn't bad enough, I ran into Dr. Giusti, Meghan's favorite doctor from Arnold Palmer at lunch today. I guess he thinks I'm such an idiot because I went up to say hello and he reached out and gave me a hug and I ended up mumbling something about wanting to come and talk to him.....I'm pretty sure he didn't hear me as I was trying so hard to choke back the tears. I was not ready to see him yet. Meghan LOVED him and he LOVED Meghan......I told you, Everybody Loves Meghan :) Anyway, I wish so much that I had something thoughtful to say to him, but I panicked under pressure and basically turned away from him in a hurry without saying goodbye.....what an idiot I am. My only saving grace is that I know he knows it's hard for us parents to see those who worked so hard to save our children's lives after it has all been in vain and our children didn't make it. When Meghan's nurses came to her funeral, I was doing ok until I saw them. I wanted to tell them how much their presence at her service meant to us. You know it must be so hard for them to see "their" kids not make it as well. I know each and every one of them did all they could and helped us make the choices we did with as much information as we could possibly get. When you hear that nurses and doctors are Angels on Earth....they truly are. They do what no one should ever have to do and what no one should ever have to see. They fix things that are broke, and mourn when they can't fix it.

EVERBODY LOVES MEGHAN!!!
Forever in my dreams,
Carol
(Mom to Angel Meghan)








.
- Friday, June 20, 2003 10:14 PM CDT

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Alison and Grant-

I really wish that people could understand that this is not a site for critics! This is a site for a family who is suffering way beyond what any of us can comprehend. It is a site for a grieving mother and father to express whatever is weighing heavily on their hearts, to pay tribute to their daughter and her friends who have gone to be with our Father, to help other grieving families connect and to open the eyes to soooo many out there who continue to lead self-centered, materialistic lives. I am sure that doctors do have a hard dealing with the loss of a PATIENT but that is total different than the loss of a SON OR DAUGHTER. It breaks my heart to hear that so many families daily continue to have so much suffering and loss. I ask all out there to please link into one of the sites at the bottom of Alexandria's website and read these stories. Connect with one if not a couple of these families and let them know you are praying for them. It makes a difference in someones day to know others to are praying. There is such a thing as the POWER OF PRAYER. But I also ask that you only post if you TRULY are trying to make a difference and be careful as to what you write. Remember you are dealing with emotionally distraught families who need words of encouragement not criticism. Alison and Grant post WHATEVER you want. This is Alexandria's site and we all know she would have. Not a day goes by that I'm not thinking or praying for you guys!! Miss you! Talk to you soon.

God Bless,


dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Friday, June 20, 2003 10:10 AM CDT

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Thinking of you.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, June 20, 2003 10:02 AM CDT

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Just checking in on you. Hope this weekend is better than last and if there is anything we can do to give you a break, let us know.
Thom Shoemaker <tshoemaker>
o'fallon, mo usa - Friday, June 20, 2003 0:28 AM CDT

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Whoops! I apologize to KG. I reread that entry and I feel she delivered her message with love. I was momentarily confused.
Debbie Nagy
- Thursday, June 19, 2003 10:38 PM CDT

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Alison,
I too felt the same way as Tammy when I read the HF and KG messages left in your guest book. My intentions when I wrote my entry that followed them were to not criticize them, but tell you that I would not judge your feelings and certainly do not know your pain and will not ever pretend to know the depth of your grief. I too, was worried how you would react. That is why I left the message to encourage you to leave this wonderful web site and not to let a few people upset or discourage you. I pray that you know my comments have been left with nothing but concern, love and admiration for you.
In His love,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Thursday, June 19, 2003 10:08 PM CDT

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Ohhh Alison,,,, (I am worried for you.)
I am one of those 'lurkers' =) your husband spoke of, (I think that description is very funny.) While I always remember your family in my prayers, I have 'lurked' and have not posted, truly out of respect for your family and the great loss you have suffered. I have known, in my own life, how the 'kind words' of strangers can be very hurtful and for that reason I have not dared to think I would be able to find the right words to say how very sorry I am that your beautiful Alexandria was called Home way, way, way too early. Now please let me explain why I am worried for you and why I feel 'brave' enough to post now,,, As I was checking in on you today, I read 'HF's' comments,,, I tensed up and vividly remembered how hurt you had been previously by another person daring to offer you 'feedback'. Alison,,, I am so sorry that people, -strangers!, think they can begin to tell you how you should handle YOUR anger or react to YOUR grief, especially when they say "they have been in your shoes!" No one has ever been in your shoes, inside your skin, but YOU.
I hope that thoughtless people do not discourage you from keeping this website, this very gentle, loving tribute to your Alexandria, open to all. While I know it keeps you in touch with your family, friends and others parents facing the same crisis everyday, it also, very unfortunately, lets in a few unkind, thoughtless strangers. Please know that all of us strangers are not alike, I believe that most are like me,,,, I cry for your tragedy and I am inspired by your journal writings, for your love for Alexandria and how you are honoring her life and her memory. Can I dare to hope that you can believe me when I say that so many people lift your family up in prayer? Please, please, try not to let the grumps and the 'well-intentioned' cause you one extra moment of pain, you have experienced far too much already.

Praying for you and your family and for a cure for all childhood cancers,
With tears, sympathy and prayers,
Tammy
- Thursday, June 19, 2003 6:59 PM CDT

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I don't write very often, but I just wanted you to know I keep you in my prayers.
Love,
Lisa Jacob's mommy
Lisa Mosley
- Thursday, June 19, 2003 3:47 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Sorry I spelled your name wrong.
Debbie Nagy
- Thursday, June 19, 2003 1:55 PM CDT

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Dear Allison and Grant,
I am so sorry for your deep pain and grief. It must be so angering and frustrating to see so many of these children not make it. Personally, I do not know how I would fee in your shoes, so therefore, I will not judge your feelings, but continue to lift you up in prayer. My heart has especially been broken over Anthony and Colby passing in the past few weeks. They were two little boys I had followed for quite a long time. I know I do not know many of these Caringbridge children personally, but many of us strangers, fall in love with them through these wonderful web sites. You are all so courageous and brave for letting us peek into your lives. I pray that you will always believe that it is worth sharing the story of your child. Alexandria has touched many and still is with this site. At times it may seem like there are many "lurkers" out there, but do believe that most of them care very deeply about you and your family. I continue to remember your precious daughter and her courageous battle. I continue to pray for you to find some comfort and peace during this difficult journey. Your family is an inspiration to many, and even though we have never met, you are loved in the spirit of the Living Christ.

In Him,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Thursday, June 19, 2003 12:20 AM CDT

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I TOO AM A STRANGER TO YOUR SITE AND I TOO HAVE BEEN IN YOUR SHOES. I DO AGREE TOOOO MANY CHILDREN DIE FROM CANCER EACH YEAR, HOWEVER RATHER THAN PUT BLAME SOMEWHERE...MAYBE THANK THE DOCS WHO KEPT THE CHILDREN ALIVE AS LONG AS THEY DID. WITH OUT THE DRUGS, SOME MIGHT OF NOT MADE IT AS LONG. I CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR EACH AND EVERYONE WHO HAVE LOST A CHILD TO ANYTHING. I ALSO PRAY FOR THE ONES WHO ARE NOW HEALTHY & THERE ARE SOME WHO BEAT IT. GOD'S PLAN IS NOT ONE WE CAN CHANGE, I GUESS IT'S JUST HARD TO DEAL WITH SOME TIMES.
AS COMING TO THE SITE FOR THE FIRST TIME, AFTER READING YOUR FIRST PAGE I THOUGHT YOUR DAUGHTER HAD JUST PAST AFTER SEEING THE MEMORIAL INFO. I AM SURE THE MONTHS WITHOUT HER HAVE BEEN FILLLED WITH MANY MEMORIES OF HER. I PRAY YOUR MEMORIES KEEP YOUR HEART FILLED WITH LOVE.
HF
- Thursday, June 19, 2003 11:41 AM CDT

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Alison & Grant-- just want you to know we were thinking of you this weekend & praying that the pain is lessening. I am sorry to hear that the weekend brought so much pain. My ignorance is going to show here, but I just thought leukemia had a pretty high cure rate & to see all of these children not beating it here on earth just breaks my heart. We will continue to pray for peace for your family.
The Pyle Family
- Thursday, June 19, 2003 11:38 AM CDT

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My dear friends,
Wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you and praying that the saddness in your hearts will somehow be less painful!! I will always be here for you to talk, listen, or make you laugh even when you don't want to!!
forever friends,
Nancy
nancy cole
- Thursday, June 19, 2003 9:56 AM CDT

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Hi Allison!
Just wanted to say hi, and see how you were. I am sad too when I see kids that we know that are dying of this terrible disease.
I do not understand it at all. I do think kids are rushed too quickly out of the transplant ward. My Ryan was out on day 15. They wanted to make it sooner, but we needed to have a place to stay first! They tell you it will be four to six weeks. All the kids that I know personally, have been let out early. My Ryan went straight to transplant from diagnosis on January 19, 2001, to April 12, 2001 transplant. I always wondered why they made others continue to go through extended treatment before deciding to send them to transplant. They say most will respond to treatment without transplant, but why chance waiting??? Their bodies have then been filled with so many chemo drugs, that they become immune to them, when they really need them again. Their bodies are too worn out to fight any longer, and also damaged by all the drugs and radiation.
That never made sense to me. Most everyone we have known went to transplant eventually. Why wait so long????
It makes more sense to me, to go STRAIGHT to transplant while they are strong and can fight!!!
I hope they do figure it out soon. I know this is only my opinion. Just my observations as a mom.
Hang in there!
Sending hugs and prayers your way.
Judy

Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il USA - Wednesday, June 18, 2003 10:07 PM CDT

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I am a stranger who has been checking in on and praying for you for several months. My heart aches for you. I have been giving a lot of thought, wondering if the words that are on my heart would be helpful to you, or not helpful. If they are not helpful I hope you will disregard or even delete them, as I would never intend to hurt a grieving parent. I just happen to be intimately acquainted with a pediatric oncologist who prays for "his kids" by name each night, goes to their graduations and birthday parties when they are doing well, and lies awake at night worrying about them when they are not doing well--if he even comes home at all. I see him cry when he loses one and then the next day he must get out of bed and carry on in the fight against this terrible monster called cancer, which ravages so many brave young children. Sometimes our prayers and his best efforts are not enough. I wish it wasn't so. I wish his job was unnecessary. And, I admit, I have often wished he had chosen a different career--one that didn't bring on so much heartache. He feels he has been called to this profession and hopes he can somehow make a difference in this battle. I know he is not the only one of his kind. I continue to pray for you and your family. I would be angry too if I were to lose a child.
KG
- Wednesday, June 18, 2003 12:16 AM CDT

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Alison: Boy, if you didn't read my mind! Your journal entry was exactly what I have been feeling. I have been in such a horrible mood and Meghan's 3rd birthday is coming up next month and I am literally dreading each and every day as it approaches. No one can even come close to imagining what it's like to have to get up each morning, not just physically, but mentally as well. The children we are losing are a staggering example of just how much more research needs to be done. I think you're exactly right about the doctors not truly knowing how to treat this disease and the ones who are "transplanters" are so gung-ho and make you think it can work and then where are they when it doesn't? We're the ones who have to live with the questions and the unending pain....they go on to another transplant and "hope" it works....well, so do we for all the other children out there who still have a chance. Sorry this is so long, but your words hit home and I just wanted to thank you and let you know I still check in on you.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 8:07 PM CDT

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Like Debbie, Matt's Mom, I too KNOW what you're going thru and I DO UNDERSTAND. I'm beginning to think that since there are so many of us 'Angel Moms' in the area, maybe we shouldn't meet over lunch or something? I pray for us all daily. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) www.caringbridge.org/il/legoman
- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 12:42 AM CDT

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I sit here trying to figure out what to say. I cannot imagine how the families that have lost children must need to rally together and support one another. I cannot imagine the pain your families are dealing with. And I did not realize that so many children were passing away within 100 days of transplant. That really hit home for me.

I am so very sorry for the pain your family is suffering, and that Alexandria's Daddy had to go through the weekend without his little girl by his side.

When you mentioned the poem was from "Matthew's website" I almost knew immediately which Matthew you were talking about, and then when I saw that you thanked Debbie, I realized I was right. Earlier in your entry I had thought of Debbie's recent words about people seeming to forget her son. And I wondered how horrible that must feel....

I'm sure my words don't mean much. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of your family and care.

Shiela
~NY~ USA - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 12:24 AM CDT

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You are so right in all aspects in your most recent journal entry. 1. We are losing way too many precious little people & 2. You're right those of us who haven't lost someone or even cannot begin to come close to understanding the pain endured on a daily, hourly, momently basis. My heart just aches for parents like yourselves coping with this & trying to understand why. . .
Eileen Spratt
Eureka MO, - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 11:31 AM CDT

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Dear Blessed Alison & Grant:

I am constantly thinking of you both and praying. I have never stopped - you both give me courage every day I read to "catch up".

I have not lost a child, but know grief. I lost my mother, first to Alzheimer's, then to Heaven. My father followed her, sick by grief, almost a year to the day later. Even after 5 years I miss them so much it hurts. I don't say this to frighten you, you know the grieving never ends.

But a little sunshine in the dark days: my parents are never far. At the most difficult times since their deaths I have literally felt them close. One time in particular I was rocking one of my twins who was sick and had not stopped crying for the first 6 months of her life. I was spent, physically and emotionally. I was crying with her and all of a sudden I felt my mother's hand on my right shoulder and my father's on my left. I'm positive if I'd turned around they would have been standing there. It is moments like this that somehow make the grief easier.

There isn't a day that I would like to phone my mom (my best friend) to share her grandchildren (she never knew them), or to call my dad to laugh about a news story. But I know they are in heaven watching, laughing, crying, and cheering me on. I know that Alexandria is doing the same for all of you. You do feel her close, that makes it so.

Love and hugs, Kim Eplett
Kim Eplett <knadn_eh@msn.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 10:34 AM CDT

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Alison and Grant,
I KNOW what you ar going through and I UNDERSTAND where you are coming through. I thought about you a lot this weekend and am sorry that Grant had to face "his day" without his precious Alexandria. I know that the 4-month anniversary didn't make things any easier. I pray for you daily (no actually more than once a day - whenever you pop into my mind with is almost always when I think about Matthew). I feel so bad for all the parents who have lost children - it seems like more and more each day. What is going on with this?

I am glad that you liked the peom on Matthew's website. I came across something else that may bring you a little comfort, I know it did me...

THE PARABLE OF THE TWINS
Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb. Weeks passed, and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy: "Isn't it great that we were conceived? Isn't it great to be alive!"

Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother's cord that gave them life, they sang for joy: "How great is our mother's love that she shares her own life with us!"

As weeks stretched into months the twins noticed how much each was changing. "What does it mean?" asked the one. "It means that our stay in this world is drawing to an end, " said the other one. "But I don't want to go," said the other twin. "I want to stay here alsways." "We have no choice," said the other. "But mybe there is life after birth!" "But how can that be?" rssponded the other one. "We will shed our life cord, and how is life possible without it? Bsides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us, and none of them have regturned to tell us that there is life after birth. No, this is the end."

And so the one fell into deep despair, saying: "If conception ends in birth, what is the purpsoe of life in the womb? It's meaningless! Maybe there is no mother after all." "But there has to be," protested the other. How else did we get here? How do we remain alive?"

"Have you ever seen our mother?" said the one. "Maybe she lives only in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good."

And so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questining and fear. Finally, the moment of birth arrved. When the twins had passed from their world, they opened their eyes and they cried. For what they saw exeeded their fondest dreams. --Unknown

I Corinthians 2:9
Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has it so much as dawned on man what God had prepared for those who love Him

Holding you close in prayer. Love,


Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 9:47 AM CDT

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Alison, Very well said. I also dont understand how these kids relapse so close to transplant. The Drs never told us that was a risk. I never thought about it. The protocol that Adam was on the first time he had cancer is no longer being used because they had too many relapses. Da. How come my son was on it than. He wasnt regristered on a protocol the first time or the second cause he was critical when he started and they didnt have time to do all the test needed to regrister him. I wonder if these kids are included in the "great" stats that they now claim for childhood cancers. The only way I now get through my days is to know he is in heaven and no longer in pain. I really feel the drs. failed us also. They never contacted us after we left transplant. I think back to when he was at transplant and very few kids are still alive. It sucks. Adams birthday was on fathers day. It sucked. Vent anytime. Its a good thing. God Bless you.
Ruth Trombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
Westerly, R - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 7:59 AM CDT

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Good morning, Please know that while I may be a lurker, you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry at the difficult journey you must travel, my hope is that you will find peace and be able to enjoy the simple things is life again without feeling such overwhelming sorrow.
Mary
M, MO - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 7:54 AM CDT

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To Alexandria's loving family,
Praying that the Lord will bring all of you peace and comfort in these very sad days.
I am so sorry for your loss of your darling Alexandria, for your pain and sorrow.
With tears and prayers,
Tammy
- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 0:53 AM CDT

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I understand your anger too! My son has leukemia, and I'm infuriated everyday when I read about another poor baby who has had to fight so hard and lose the fight. I'm angry that families have to struggle every day trying to cope in a situation that has no realistic way of coping. I'm right there with you on every comment you made. I hurt everytime I think of you, wondering how you are doing, thinking of how your lives have changed. Please know that I do think of you and I think of Alexandria often. I wish I could do something to make it all better.
Debbie Little <littlecaleb@hotmail.com>
Dickson, TN - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 0:32 AM CDT

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Hello. Just stopping by to let you know that I continue to think of your family.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Monday, June 16, 2003 2:27 PM CDT

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Just wanted to sign and let you know we are thinking of you all this Father's Day. Praying for you to find peace...big hugs,
Tracey, Steve, Quinn and Callum xoxo
Calgary,Ab, Canada, - Monday, June 16, 2003 0:11 AM CDT

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This Father's Day I found myself thinking of you Grant. My thoughts and prayers for you and your family continue.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Sunday, June 15, 2003 10:29 PM CDT

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Dear Grant,

Thinking of you this Father's Day and hoping you were able to relax a bit and to share some smiles with your Little Ones.
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Sunday, June 15, 2003 10:21 PM CDT

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Dear Grant,
My prayers are with you today as you face your first Father's Day without precious Alexandria. I can only imagine how difficult it must be. You were the best daddy that Alexandria could have ever had... and she knew it!
Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Sunday, June 15, 2003 7:18 PM CDT

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THINKING ABOUT ON THIS FATHER'S DAY. AS ALWAYS, YOU ARE IN OUR PRAYERS.
MEMAW & PAWPAW <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
TERRE DU LAC, MO ST FRANCOIS - Sunday, June 15, 2003 5:12 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks,
I am miss seeing your journal writings Alison. I still come here daily, even several times a day just cause.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all always! I feel so fortunate to be able to say I knew Alexandria and what a beatufiul child she was. Love to you all :)
Mrs. Scott
- Sunday, June 15, 2003 0:31 AM CDT

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May you continue to feel the Lord's love sustaining and strengthening you. And may He bring His comfort to each family that grieves.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Saturday, June 14, 2003 10:10 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks, Although I don't always sign in, I lurk and pray for you every day. Alexandria will always be loved and missed, and I count myself fortunate to have known her and her fabulous family.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO USA - Saturday, June 14, 2003 8:01 AM CDT

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Have not and never will never forget you and your family.
Missing your sister Michelle at the fitness center since her move. Molly says hi to all the siblings....praying that you all find your moments of joy and peace but when you are in pain that you are comforted. Jesus holds your daughter in his arms now ..may he hold you close to him as well when you are sad and missing her. Sincerely ..the healy's
Molly Healy and Family <Fitnjpro@aol.com>
Waldwick, NJ - Friday, June 13, 2003 6:23 PM CDT

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Hi Alison and Grant,
Just dropping in to see how you are doing. I am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
God Bless,
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Thursday, June 12, 2003 4:33 PM CDT

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Alison,
I hope things are going well for you and your family. We are still praying for you daily.
Connie <winninglineup1@cs.com>
O'fallon, MO - Thursday, June 12, 2003 4:21 PM CDT

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I'm here and always praying......
God bless you all.
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, June 12, 2003 3:27 PM CDT

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Dear Haddocks,
Just wanted to let you know you continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. I pray that God's love and strength are with you and His arms are around you. I'm glad to hear that there are some good days.

Kathleen Maas-Stokes and the rest of the Stokes bunch <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Aurora, IL - Thursday, June 12, 2003 8:23 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Thinking of you and your family today and keeping you all in my prayers.
Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Thursday, June 12, 2003 7:38 AM CDT

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You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, June 11, 2003 10:44 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and praying for the families you mentioned.
Elaine
St. Charles, - Wednesday, June 11, 2003 4:57 PM CDT

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Hi guys, We continue to pray each and every day for all of you. Thank you for your support and prayers on our behalf. We hope that all of you have a great day. We love you and can't wait until we can get together some time soon. Thank you for continuing to bless so many people as you live out your faith in God in front of everyone to see. Thank you for blessing us too. We are so very grateful for you.
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, June 11, 2003 2:05 AM CDT

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Hi Alison & Grant. I'm just signing in to let you know that there's not a day that goes by when the Lord fails to put you on my heart for prayer. Blessings to you and please know that you're thought of, cared for and prayed for. Blessings and I'll continue to check in on you.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Tuesday, June 10, 2003 8:55 PM CDT

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Oh that was a wonderful journal entry, the one with the poem. I'm glad to hear that there are good times for you and your family. Your children must sense this as well, good for you. I can feel Alexandria smiling just now, I bet you can too. Thank you for sharing with us.
Cathy Yanez
Saint Charles, Mo - Tuesday, June 10, 2003 0:10 AM CDT

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Too many children-not enough available to save them. I'm not only praying for these families as well as yours, but also for something to be done to save other children from this monster of a disease. I have 3 healthy children, but families such as yours and the ones who have passed, as well as ones continuing this battle have made me realize the importance in raising money to fight this beast. Too much focus is placed on AIDS when more children in this country are dying from cancer than of AIDS. We need to put the focus on finding a cure. Continued prayers. I am just so saddened by all the senseless passings.
Jenifer
Wash.Twp., NJ - Monday, June 9, 2003 1:04 PM CDT

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Continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Monday, June 9, 2003 7:45 AM CDT

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I pray for all of the families who have lost a child to cancer- including yours. It will never make sense to me why a child has to go through such agony when so many terrible people still walk this earth healthy. What a terrible week- those 3 boys will be missed profoundly and their families are just beginning this incredibly painful part of the cancer journey. take care-
the Day family
Fishers, IN - Monday, June 9, 2003 7:31 AM CDT

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Dear Haddocks,
I haven't checked in for a while but want you to know you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I am amazed by your words and how well you express your true feelings. God has given you the gift of inspiring others to be good. I know Alexandria is your inspiration, your beautiful angel.
God bless all of you!
Love, Cat
Cat Borkowski
Shoreham, NY - Saturday, June 7, 2003 8:14 PM CDT

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i will pray for you and your family. just coming to this site for the first time & seeing the memorial info i thought your daughter just past away. praying for you...
Montana
- Friday, June 6, 2003 11:22 PM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know we think about you and pray for you and your family every day.

Nancy Dalton
Wildwood, Mo - Friday, June 6, 2003 10:06 PM CDT

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Amen and Amen!
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO 63040 - Friday, June 6, 2003 5:15 PM CDT

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For your prayer, I say Amen. Too many children in this battle.

I think of your family, as I know how the days can be.

Wishing you peace and abundant blessings.
The family of Jackson Ben Espeseth, ^forever 3^
Clear Lake, W - Friday, June 6, 2003 4:46 PM CDT

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Alison-

Your recent journal entry broke my heart!! Each and everyday I'm still shocked as to the amount of families suffering with sick loved ones. I know the Lord had already answered your prayer for these families because he has blessed them with knowing YOU!! You and Grant are wonderful examples for griefing families. Alexandria's website is a excellent show of that!!!! Keep it up girl!! Not only is this a great release for you but also a place for families to either open their eyes or share and not feel alone. Talk to you really soon.
dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Friday, June 6, 2003 10:33 AM CDT

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You continue to touch the hearts of so many, including mine. God bless you.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, June 6, 2003 7:35 AM CDT

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Hi Alison & Family, just letting you know that I am thinking of you tonight and holding you in God's great light. You are such an inspiration to others. I can read your journal entries over and over again and I always come out with a new understanding of things. God bless your little angel in heaven. I know she is just missed so greatly.
Thank you again for opening up your heart and letting us into your lives. It means more than you'll ever know!
Lynn
Long Island, NY - Thursday, June 5, 2003 8:21 PM CDT

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You continue to be a blessing to our family. It was so good to talk to you last week and hopefully soon we can get together. Thanks for sharing Kailie's story with everyone on your site. To God be the glory! You are always in our thoughts and prayers!

Love,
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, June 5, 2003 7:55 PM CDT

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Joshua 1:9 says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

This verse was brought to my attention the other day and I was sharing it with my great friend and cousin, Nancy. As I was thinking about Alexandria today, it reminded me of her and how she lived...not terrified, so strong and courageous and not dicouraged..for she knew that the Lord was with her wherever she went. She was and still is an awesome witness, as is the whole Haddock family. I once again thank you for your sharing of yourselves with each of us so honestly and sincerely. God bless you all.
Katy Davis
St. Peters, MO - Thursday, June 5, 2003 5:55 PM CDT

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Alison: Thank you for letting us know that you and Grant and the kids do have some better days. You do stay in our thoughts and prayers as you work through these days.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 11:58 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,
I hope u dont mind me signing. I am a friend of a little boy at Duke called Sean Marone.

I have visited your journal afew times. Reading what u read about having Alexandria christened really was bitter sweet. I have a little boy called FInlay, he has just turned 10mths old. He was christened in March. We have a lovely photo of him & I hanging on the wall. I was such a special day. He is our first child to. So we really had a big party afterwards. I cant imagine the pain of looking back at that day in your shoes. It breaks my heart just even thinking about it.

I know u dont know me, but I do think about your little angel. & pray for you & your family.

with love from one mother to another
claire, Geoff & little Fin
claire <claireecampbell@aol.com>
surrey, England, uk - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 6:28 PM CDT

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Alison,
I didn't realize that it had been so long since I had signed in. I am sorry! I'm here each day to check on you and I guess I just haven't signed. I am so glad to see that you are still posting. I so enjoy reading your journals. I appreciate the fact that you tell the good with the bad. That is what we are all here for. And there are so many people that genuinely care about your family and of course about Alexandria. We don't need to worry about Alexandria anymore though, we all know she is in good hands - the hands of our Lord. But, we all need to know that you folks are getting by......day by day. I loved the poem...it explains so much. I will continue to pray for all of you each day. Thank you for allowing me to "know" Alexandria and all of your family. I can't wait for the day that I truely will see her face to face. God bless you all. Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 11:17 AM CDT

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Alison, Grant and family
Just stopping by to see how you were doing. Sorry I haven't posted sooner - I have been struggling...

Alison, I am glad that your business is keeping you busy and that you love you job. I love mine, too, and there are not a whole lot of people who can say that. I loved the poem - hoping the quiet pools outnumber the swift currents and that loving hands continue to hold you up. I know how hard the rough times are and I am thinking about your family and keeping you in my prayers.

Talk to you soon!
Love,

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 11:03 AM CDT

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Alison-

Just a little note to let you know I'm still daily praying and thinking about you!!! God does work in amazing ways!! I was so glad to see that you posted a note about Kailie in your journal entry. She is such a wonderful little girl!! I have heard from her alot and what a beautiful and insightful child. No wonder her and Alexandria became close alot alike!!! So nice to see so many people care and come together to help. Glad to see that your business is doing as good as it is. Talk to you soon.

God Bless,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 9:20 AM CDT

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Hello Haddocks......I have not posted in a long while. Honestly I lost the site for a while. I recently saw your post on my nephew's site an retrieved your address. I have shed a few tears catching up with your family through your posts. You are such a strong family. Thank you for keeping the site going. I will keep all of you in my prayers. You have a great community up there in MO and a wonderful support system. God is working his wonderful magic through all of you. Bless all of you!!!!
Dawn Holman <dehol25@aol.com>
Horn Lake, MS - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 8:58 AM CDT

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Just checking in to let you know that we are thinking of you and that we are still praying for peace.
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Tuesday, June 3, 2003 1:52 PM CDT

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Thanks for sharing the poem & the team in training story. It always amazes me that the ones that step to the plate are usually the ones with the fullest plates, already. Special prayers for your family each & every day.
E. Spratt
Eureka, MO - Tuesday, June 3, 2003 10:11 AM CDT

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I'm happy that your business is doing well & you are keeping occupied. The new pictures - what can I say except what a precious wonderful child. Take care.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Monday, June 2, 2003 5:15 PM CDT

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Alison,
You are still such an inspiration to us all. I am glad that you are able to have some good days, it makes us all feel better knowing this. Thank you for sharing your happy feelings as well as your bad moments. I ask that God blesses you with many more good ones. Give the kids a hug from us, they are so sweet and lucky to have you two as their parents. I'm glad too that you are enjoying your work again.
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy)
- Monday, June 2, 2003 3:19 PM CDT

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Hi,
I just thought I'd say thanks for sharing with us the good times you have as well as the bad. I've read many of your entries with tears in my eyes wishing I could somehow help take your pain away. I'm glad to see you are finding some days easier to cope with now. I continue to pray for you all everyday.
Take care
Sara
Sara joy www.caringbridge.org/sc/samjoy <m.joy@tesco.net>
uk - Monday, June 2, 2003 3:07 PM CDT

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I lost a nephew (aged 18 1/2 years) back in February of 1992. Cancer is such a destructive disease. Seeing your pictures of Sissy brought all the memories back. May you continue to feel the love and support others are sending you. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Mary Lou Thomson <mlt.csi@hay.net>
Exeter, Ontario Canada - Monday, June 2, 2003 11:57 AM CDT

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Checking in to see how you are doing. As always, we are thinking of you.
Kristen Bly
- Monday, June 2, 2003 11:09 AM CDT

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Hi Alison , Grant and Hunter, Hayden, and Addison. Just wanted you to know that we still pray and think of you daily. Please have Hayden come play with Lincoln. They had such BOY fun the day he was here - they really enjoy each others company. And - thanks for sharing the pics of your "Sissy girl". She is a truly Blessed Angel... Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Love, The Schwartzs'
Lisa
O'Fallon, - Sunday, June 1, 2003 10:42 PM CDT

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Alison,
Hey Girl, Hope all is well at the Haddock House. Hope you got through the busy weekend working!
Thank You for sharing the poem, it was beautiful!
Talk to you soon!
Forever your friend,
Nancy
Nancy Cole
- Sunday, June 1, 2003 8:52 PM CDT

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Dear Alison and Family,
Just checking in after being away for a few weeks. Thanks for your updates and new pictures. We continue to pray for your family and your precious Alexandria. Hope you all have a good week with NO DRAMA!!


Kelli Giles Lanza
Cincinnati, OH - Sunday, June 1, 2003 8:30 PM CDT

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Just checking in and feeling the urge of the Holy Spirit to write to you and your family. I continue to pray and think about all of you. I'm glad your new business has taken off so well. Love to you and your family from Westerville, OH.
Kelley Johnson <KJtaxi4kids@msn.com>
Westerville, OH Franklin - Sunday, June 1, 2003 3:46 PM CDT

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Alison & Family, Just checking in to read your last update. Thank you for sharing your last hours with Alexandria. They are so precious and I know it helps me to cherish every moment I have with my loves ones. What a lesson to learn! May God continue to bless you and your family.
Lynn
NY - Sunday, June 1, 2003 7:43 AM CDT

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Alison: Your faith and your and Grant's willingness to share so much with us continue to inspire. May the Lord continue to strengthen and sustain you and yours each day.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Sunday, June 1, 2003 0:12 AM CDT

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Alison-I am heartbroken. So so so sorry about your dear Alexandria. i have a 10 year old fighting cancer (brain tumor) shes got a year of chemo left and were all feeling down in the dumps. Losing her is my biggest fear. I am so proud of you for keeping the faith. Your daughter is proud of you, I am sure. I will remember you all in my prayers. her website is bethsplace.com. God bless your pink tipped angel.-Jenni
Jenni Simsck <simsack1@comcast.net>
Holly, MI USA - Saturday, May 31, 2003 10:57 PM CDT

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Dear Haddock family,

I stop in every now and then but don't always sign your guestbook. Forgive me for that -- sometimes I'm just going from one Caringbridge site to another, trying to keep up with all of the families.

Tonight I decided to look at your Photo Album, which I haven't done in quite some time. I want to tell you how amazing your family is, to share such special, private pictures of you and your last times together with Alexandria. It moved me to tears. Tears of compassion for your family and tears of "realization" of what you must have been going through, and continue to go through.

Your willingness to share your thoughts, stories, and pictures continue to move me.

God Bless all of you.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Saturday, May 31, 2003 10:15 PM CDT

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Hi Allison,
Wow what a week you had! I was just stopping by to say hello and see how you were doing. The headstone sounds beautiful! I had an angel engraved on my moms monument. It was harder than I thought to find the perfect angel for them to engrave. It turned out great! Her eyes look just like she is looking down on my moms grave. I also found a neat stone with a beautiful saying on it that I want to get to put in front of the monument. It said something like "If tears were a staircase to heaven ...... then I'd walk right up there and bring you back home again.... Can't remember exact wording at the moment.
I'll keep on praying to keep your family safe and for your family to have some peace as well.
All my love.
Judy Grumish
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il USA - Friday, May 30, 2003 9:12 PM CDT

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Dear Alison-
We are still praying for your strength and peace for you as well. I cannot take my eyes off the first picture in your album. It speaks so eloquently and heartbreakingly of your journey. It takes my breath away to look at it. God Bless you all..I am so sorry. Alexandria and your family have touched our lives beyond words.
Take care of yourself and each other.
Jacqueline, Nicholas and David
CT USA - Friday, May 30, 2003 3:48 PM CDT

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Hey There... Just wanted to let you know.. that you are being thought of often... Your choice of the Pink heart , angel, and cross will be beautiful and heart capturing. I was with my parents several years ago picking out a tombstone for my brother. It is extremely hard and I feel your pain. I dont' think I could ever work as a designer at a monument company. Alexandria is on my mind constantly, I have another friend that is going through special testing right now...her daughter is lacking in growth hormones. Her insides continue to grow, but her bones don't. Anyway, she is a tough cookie, just like ALexandria... I have told her about Alexandria and she always wants to hear more.
Sharyn Duncan
- Friday, May 30, 2003 8:44 AM CDT

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Hello Haddock family. Just thinking of you all and sending happpy thoughts your way. I, too, miss sweet little Alexandria and her little daily happenings. The stories you shared with us were always so sweet. She remains in my heart as do you all. Please know that you all continue to be an inspiration to each of us that read this website. Your sharing is such a blessing to me. God bless you all.

Katy Davis
St. Peters, MO - Friday, May 30, 2003 0:10 AM CDT

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Just checking in and continuing to keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Tanda Smith
- Thursday, May 29, 2003 9:27 PM CDT

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Alison-

I can't believe the day you had!!! You know the phrase "God only give you what he thinks you can handle". Ok enough for the Haddocks God!!! Thank you so much for sharing Alexandria's final photos with all of us!! Taken with such love! You are ALWAYS in my daily thoughts and prayers. Continue to draw strength from our Lord.

God Bless,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Thursday, May 29, 2003 1:11 PM CDT

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a few simple words....God bless you.
a Pittsburgh friend of Matt Conover
Mt. Lebanon, PA - Wednesday, May 28, 2003 5:57 PM CDT

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Hey Alison,
I just looked at the pictures of Alexandria you now have posted. I read your disclaimer, but didn't hesitate. I knew I wanted to see them. They are powerful pictures. It was also nice to see what moonbeam looks like. I thought she was really small but she's big! Thanks for sharing such personal pictures and stories.
Love,
Judy
- Wednesday, May 28, 2003 2:25 PM CDT

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Alison and Grant,
We're still praying for happier days for you. From reading your latest entry it looks like we all need to kick it up a notch! I hope you are enjoying the angel statue and find peace in your new garden.
Prayerfully,
The Balkenbusch's
Nancy Balkenbusch <nbalken@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Wednesday, May 28, 2003 11:55 AM CDT

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Miss Alison -- my heart just goes out to you. Reading your May 22 entry about your harrowing day made me think of what another Caringbridge mom said after she lost her child -- "I live in great fear every day for my children. To think that something could happen and have to go through another awful experience scares me so much. I'm going to live in fear like that always, every time they don't feel well or anything I'm going to analize every little thing. It's like having an anxiety attack 24 hours a day." -- There is nothing on this earth like a mother's love. You and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. (Isaiah 66:13a)
Kim Rutherford <kimruth1@utk.edu>
Knoxville, TN USA - Wednesday, May 28, 2003 11:54 AM CDT

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Keeping you and yours in my thoughts & prayers.
Carl
- Wednesday, May 28, 2003 5:24 AM CDT

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I found your site a few months ago from another caringbridge site, and have kept your beautiful family in my prayers throughout your daughter's battle, and now as you go through the difficulty of life on earth without her. I come back to the site often to see how you are
doing and what prayer needs you may have. Your family is an inspiration-your love for your daughter, and all your children is so evident and your struggles are ones no one should have to bear. I pray for your family's strength to get through each day until you are once again all reunited as a family in Heaven. This is the first time I've signed the guestbook, and I did so because I wanted you to know that one of the counts on your site was someone who has been praying for your family, and continues to be inspired by your strength, love and faith-but, most of all, your honesty. (and not just a "lurker".:) )

Jenifer
Wash.Twp., NJ - Tuesday, May 27, 2003 1:23 PM CDT

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Dear Grant and Alison,
I have been thinking about you all weekend. I read your entry and wanted to respond but I wasn't sure what to say. We were celebrating Louisa's 11th birthday over the weekend. While we were getting ready for a sleepover, all I could think about was how you would be commemorating Alexandria's 10th birthday. I cannot imagine. I am so sorry. Our prayers are continually with you.
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, May 27, 2003 12:49 AM CDT

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Alison- This is Schelly Smiley. I am Ashley Smiley's mother. We met at St. Louis Childrens Hospital. I just found out about Alexandria and my heart is breaking. We went on our make a wish trip and met a couple from St. Louis and they told us about Alexandria. I am so sorry and I can not even imagine how you are coping. Ashley is doing great and we have one week of treatment left. PRAISE THE LORD. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Please keep in touch. Schelly Smiley
Schelly Smiley <schellysmiley@hotmail.com>
Thompsonville, IL usa - Tuesday, May 27, 2003 12:39 AM CDT

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Alison- This is Schelly Smiley. I am Ashley Smiley's mother. We met at St. Louis Childrens Hospital. I just found out about Alexandria and my heart is breaking. We went on our make a wish trip and met a couple from St. Louis and they told us about Alexandria. I am so sorry and I can not even imagine how you are coping. Ashley is doing great and we have one week of treatment left. PRAISE THE LORD. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Please keep in touch. Schelly Smiley
Schelly Smiley <schellysmiley@hotmail.com>
Thompsonville, IL usa - Tuesday, May 27, 2003 12:34 AM CDT

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Hi Alison and Grant,
Sure hope this week is better than last. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
God Bless,
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Monday, May 26, 2003 10:26 PM CDT

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We check in every couple of days and continue to pray for you constantly. Hope you had a great weekend.

The Shoemaker's
Thom Shoemaker <thomas.shoemaker@direcway.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Monday, May 26, 2003 8:47 PM CDT

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Haddocks,
What a day, or should I say "nightmare" you had! My heart was beating really fast as I only READ of your terror as you drove up to the school; I could not immagine the panic you had. What an overwhelming day; special prayers are sent your way for strength. You are always in our thoughts.

Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy)
- Monday, May 26, 2003 5:41 PM CDT

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Oh my goodness, the new pictures definitely did break our hearts. For parents to have to go through the nightmare of losing their child, is unimaginable and unthinkable. You can certainly tell by the photos that there is such love surrounding your sweet little girl! Our hearts, thoughts, and prayers are with you always. God bless you all.

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell

The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Monday, May 26, 2003 3:56 PM CDT

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Alison, I am so sorry about your horrid Thursday. I cannot even imagine your sorrow and then utter terror as you pulled up to the school. I think about all of you so often and always say a brief prayer when I do.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO - Monday, May 26, 2003 1:49 PM CDT

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Dear Haddocks,
What a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I certainly hope your weekend was better. It breaks my heart to read the sadness & to see the new pictures was so emotional. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it was to choose a headstone for your angel.
The family get together on her birthday sounds like it is going to be both beautiful & heartwrenching. We continue to pray for you.
The Pyle Family
- Monday, May 26, 2003 1:34 PM CDT

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Hello Haddock Family..
I just wantd to drop by today...Alexandria was on my mind. The pictures are beatiful...Alex has the face of an angel. I really love the "hands" photo, it is precious!
Love always...
Kim and Kody
~KODYS STORY~
- Monday, May 26, 2003 12:29 AM CDT

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Dear Alison & Grant,
No words can discribe the sadness or the painful sorrow that filled that hospital room only three and a half months ago... But no words can discribe the love,the faith, and the strength that filled that hospital room only three and a half months ago... It is a memory I will treasure forever in my heart...I am so thankful for our special bond and true friendship!
Love,
Nancy

Nancy Cole
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 10:39 PM CDT

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Man Alison, you guys have just been through the wringer---and that's a total understatement. I don't have appropriate words to describe what you've been through. I'm so sorry and my heart breaks each time I think or read of you having to face another difficult time. Please know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers and will stay there. Blessings to you.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Sunday, May 25, 2003 5:45 PM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know that you are constantly on our hearts and you remain always in our prayers.

Love,
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Sunday, May 25, 2003 3:56 PM CDT

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Hello! Just thinking of you...
Cathy Yanez
St. Charles, MO - Sunday, May 25, 2003 3:34 PM CDT

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Just a little reminder that I am praying for you.
Love,
Lisa
Lisa Mosley
St. Peters, - Saturday, May 24, 2003 3:31 PM CDT

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What a terrible day- I don't know how you got through it. Things can only get better. God and Alexandria won't let anything happen to your children. You've been through enough. Try and have a nice weekend- love,
the Day family
fishers, IN - Saturday, May 24, 2003 9:17 AM CDT

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You have no idea how Alexandria's life and your words influenced me tonight. Thank you Alison. Peace be with you.....just peace.....may you find just a few moments of pure peace today
Cathy
Saint Charles, MO - Saturday, May 24, 2003 4:52 AM CDT

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I wanted to share this site with you. Teresa gave me alot of encouragement when I needed it. Check out her site, A very wonderful Christian Women, author and singer.

Teresa Griggs

Teresa lost her 9 year old daughter 7 years ago. She tells how God got her through the hard times.


Anita
Sikeston, MO - Friday, May 23, 2003 11:05 PM CDT

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Just hoping that all is as well as can be at the Haddock home. What an awful day you two had yesterday! I was talking with my sister this evening, and like me she never had the honor of meeting Alexandria but she mentioned to me that whenever she sees pink tinted clouds she always thinks of Alexandria...yet another person who has been profoundly touched and inspired by your beautiful daughter and loving family. My prayers are with you, as always.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Friday, May 23, 2003 10:58 PM CDT

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Friday Greetings,

Stoping in to wish you all a wonderful, and safe holiday weekend!

Love and ((((HUGS))))
Eva
- Friday, May 23, 2003 7:48 PM CDT

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God bless you! I can imagine your feeling of pulling up to the school and reacting the way you did. I guess that is what us mothers do?
Cindy Wright
Sparta, Tennessee - Friday, May 23, 2003 9:02 AM CDT

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Wow! What a tremendously difficult day you had yesterday.

I can understand how your mind would be racing with all of those thoughts upon entering the school's parking lot. I am a mother that has not had to go through anything near what you have, and I would also have those thoughts.....but probably a million times less. I am so sorry for your anguish.

As always, I keep your family in thought and prayer.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Friday, May 23, 2003 5:15 AM CDT

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Alison,

Through your words I find tremendous comfort. You are such an inspiration and I thank you for sharing your life with me. You are always in my prayers.
Michelle Janiga <Janiga5@aol.com>
Portage, In 46368 - Thursday, May 22, 2003 10:47 PM CDT

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Hey Alison,
I wish the trauma could be spaced apart a little bit better for you. Terrible that you had to face those two kinds of experiences all in the same day! Maybe the holiday weekend will be peaceful! I'll pray for that!
Judy
- Thursday, May 22, 2003 9:16 PM CDT

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Oh Alison! I too hated having to pick out a headstone. There is such a finality to their lives when you see it etched in marble. I'm so sorry you had such a stressful day and soooooo glad it wasn't Hunter. I stop by and check on you all daily and think of you all the time. I imagine Alexandria and Meghan are two of the most beautiful angels in Heaven.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Thursday, May 22, 2003 8:40 PM CDT

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We are just stopping by to check in on you all! We hope that you are enjoying some nice spring days. Please know that you all are in our thoughts and prayers constantly; and, we will never forget your sweet Alexandria! God bless you!

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Thursday, May 22, 2003 5:01 PM CDT

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Alison,
Thank you so much for your latest journal entry. It is so nice to see that people are able to express their feelings to you. You and your family will be in the hearts of many people for years to come. I have greatly appreciated your honesty. It has given so many people a better understanding of your experience. Maybe we all can be of more help to other families going through the same thing. Your in my prayers.

Connie Gericke
O'Fallon, MO - Wednesday, May 21, 2003 5:39 PM CDT

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Alison - You are such an inspiration to me. I learned of your sweet Alexandria through another caringbridge site many months ago and I continue to check in daily. Your strength, courage and faith in God has helped me to have a deeper meaning in all that I do. Yesterday, I attended the funeral of my nephew that was born 18 weeks premature and was too small to survive. I find comfort in knowing that he will never endure the pain of this world and that he is resting in the arms of Jesus and enjoying the happiness of heaven just as your sweet Alexandria. You and your family were in my thoughts many times over the past few days as I can only imagine the pain you endure and what my brother & sister-in-law will endure for the days, weeks, months, years to come. May God continue to spread his word and majestic works through you and your family. Thank you for sharing and being such an inspiration to me.
Carrie D.
Wentzville, MO USA - Wednesday, May 21, 2003 12:28 AM CDT

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Alison and Grant: Your faith continues to inspire. You and yours remain in our thoughts and prayers.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Tuesday, May 20, 2003 10:45 PM CDT

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Just checking in to say Hi-I hope Grant and Pete's phone conversations keep you laughing the way they do me. I know today was hard for you...we think of you all of the time.
Melissa Day
Fishers, IN - Tuesday, May 20, 2003 4:01 PM CDT

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Checking in to see how you are doing. Your family is always in our prayers.
Kristen and Kevin Bly
- Tuesday, May 20, 2003 1:35 PM CDT

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I came across your website through another caringbridge site. Your daughter has touched my heart since the first day I came to her site. I continue to check in often as a form of inspiration. It is obvious to me that she was an Angel on Earth, and is now a Guardian Angel Above to many people. I continue to pray for you and your family to live each day with strength from God above. Thank you for sharing your precious daughter with us. May God be with you every step of every day.
Laura Foster <foster_10@hotmail.com>
Mankato, MN USA - Monday, May 19, 2003 8:09 PM CDT

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"Lurking", and praying for you, as always.
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Monday, May 19, 2003 6:40 PM CDT

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From the number of visitors and the number of entries, one can conclude that we have some serious "lurkers" on this site. Get with it, group.
A friend
- Monday, May 19, 2003 4:17 PM CDT

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I wish I had some special words for you today... all I can say is that I'm thinking about you, as I do every day. We are on the same journey, and I truly understand. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) <www.caringbridge.org/il/legoman>
- Sunday, May 18, 2003 3:08 PM CDT

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YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!! Your family and your daughter, Alexandria, have touched me, a complete stranger, more than you'll know! Your latest entry is uplifting and, as always, beautiful.

I'LL SAY that Alexandria has touched many lives...I'm guest #150,812. I have never really paid attention to that when signing in but felt compelled to see how many people have checked in during the last two days. I'm honored to be part of the 750+ that have stopped by. :o)

Take care and God Bless!

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Friday, May 16, 2003 5:16 PM CDT

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I am glad to read the update and know how you are doing. Yes Alison, you, your Alexandria and your entire family have touched more lives than you will ever know. But, the Lord will let you see the ones you NEED to see that you've touched. Blessings to you and know that you're always in my thoughts and prayers.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Friday, May 16, 2003 2:29 PM CDT

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Hey girl!!

You have been tremendously missed at church!!! So glad to see God working in his mysterious way. You guys are such a wonderful family and we all feel very, very fortune to have you as part of our church family. Keep up your wonderful journal entries they are motivational, truthful and come from the heart. I can tell that Alexandria is very proud of her website because she makes sure you keep coming back to update and she is with you in all you write. She is making sure you keep it going!!! We all care about you and your family. Keep safe and see you at church Sunday!!

God Bless,


dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Friday, May 16, 2003 10:10 AM CDT

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This "lurker" from Alabama wants you to know how special you, Grant and Alexandria have become to me. I have a little friend from Fairhope that was diagnosed with AML back in August, and I visit Austin, Janie, and Alexandria everyday. You remain in my thoughts and prayers, and I am so thankful that I have been touched by your beautiful little girl. Thank you.
Leza
- Friday, May 16, 2003 9:56 AM CDT

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Thinking of you often. God bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Friday, May 16, 2003 8:19 AM CDT

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Alison, You will probably not hear from 1/10 of the people whose lives have been changed by your precious daughter and your journal entries, but no one who reads it can even begin to remain the same. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers so often, and I hope you get some peace from that knowledge.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, - Thursday, May 15, 2003 9:05 PM CDT

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Dear Haddocks,

Just want you to know - you remain in our prayers and thoughts every day.
Linda and Phil, Sr. <philinda1@cox.net>
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 6:42 PM CDT

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you sound so good today- it's amazing how kindness from someone can lift your spirits. This website is truly amazing- I'm so happy you're realizing how much it has impacted others- it truly honors your daughter and your family. have a good week-
the Day family
Fishers, IN - Thursday, May 15, 2003 3:55 PM CDT

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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Haddock,
I am so very sorry for your loss of your precious Alexandria. Wishing all of you God's peace and comfort each and every day, and extra prayers for Hunter, Hayden and Addison.
With tears, sympathy and prayers,

Sandra
Las Vegas, NV USA ~One Nation, Under God - Thursday, May 15, 2003 2:16 PM CDT

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Hey Alison,
Loved your message! O.K. I guess two weeks without church is long enough for me, too!! I'll see ya Sunday, so save me a seat!!
Hope you enjoy your day!
Talk to you soon!
Nancy
Nancy Cole
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 11:37 AM CDT

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You truly are an amazing woman and it is so nice to see all of the awesome works that Lord has and continues to use you and your family for...
We may soon be making a trip to St. Louis so that Cody can visit with his paternal family...I would so love the chance to meet youall...you will have to let us know if that could work...
We continue to keep you all in prayer...
In Love & Prayer...Eleasha & Cody & Greg & Riley <www.forcody.org>
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 7:06 AM CDT

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Hi Alison...

Just stopping by to say hello and let you know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers! THANK YOU....for sharing your precious Angel with us!

Love and ((((HUGS))))
Eva
- Wednesday, May 14, 2003 7:07 PM CDT

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Alison, just a quick note to let you know I am thinking about you....I'm so glad to hear that you have started (again) the interior decorating business! You are so good at it and I know how much you enjoy it! Each time I read your journal entries I am equally amazed at your strength and saddened all over again that someone so special to me has had to endure such a loss and so much emotional pain. Take care and keep in touch.

Your friend,

Monica
Monica Lummus
Eureka, MO USA - Wednesday, May 14, 2003 6:42 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
It was great for you to actually hear the words, it seems so hard for people to say what is really on their mind, when it is so emotional. I must admit it is not always easy to know what to say or have the courage to say it.
We think of you all so often. We are having trouble finding a church in our new area, and have not been going lately anywhere. We need to look every week until we find one that we feel comfortable attending.
Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts.
Jane and Doug Sheats
Springboro, OH - Wednesday, May 14, 2003 4:30 PM CDT

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Hi Alison,
Just wanted to say hello again & let you know your in my thoughts. I've only been reading Alexandrias page for a few days but the way you write I feel I know you. I can feel your happiness & your pain, the way you write is amazing. Alexandria & your other children are lucky to have a mum who obviously loves them so much.
Take care
Sara
Sara joy www.caringbridge.org/sc/samjoy <m.joy@tesco.net>
uk - Wednesday, May 14, 2003 4:03 PM CDT

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Hi Alison, just wanted to thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. Not sure what to say. Just wanted to let you know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Alexandria is greatly loved and missed!
Lynn
Long Island , NY USA - Wednesday, May 14, 2003 1:16 PM CDT

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Mrs. Haddock, Just checking in. Again, your journal entry brought smiles and tears to my eyes. Your letter to dear Alexandria is SO beautiful.

God Bless You and Keep You Strong!

Sincerely,

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Tuesday, May 13, 2003 7:57 PM CDT

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Just checking in today to say hello. I read your recent updates. The memorials to Alexandria sound wonderful!
We will keep praying for you as always. I am always thinking about you, and how your day is going. Maybe we can get together sometime over the summer.
God Bless!
Friends always,
Judy Grumish
Judy Grumish <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il USA - Tuesday, May 13, 2003 12:18 AM CDT

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Always praying Alison..... Love you Alexandria....give your mom a big squeeze so she knows you're there. Lord please give them all the strength they need for each day. Hold them tightly in the palm of your hand and let them feel your grace. Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, May 13, 2003 11:30 AM CDT

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Grant and Alsion,

It's been awhile since I've been able to spend time reading your entries. You still amaze me! you are coping much better than many families ever could. The strength your family has and the faith will hold you together.

The dreams will be so awesome for the rest of your lives.
I have had dreams that I have a hard time interpreting about my brother I lost in 1995 in a plane crash... some are scarey, ....but others are enlightening and beautiful.

We had a devasting tornado hit here May 6th....amazingly there were no injuries.... It has really changed the lives of many families... more than a dozen have completely lost there homes... We just have minor damage to our home.... but there are many families that could use a few prayers.
Please pray for all the families throughout the US that have suffered because of mother natures temper....

You guys are always in my prayers. Bless you all....

Sharyn Duncan
- Monday, May 12, 2003 8:23 PM CDT

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Grant and Alison,

Thinking of you all and sending lots of love and prayers your way!
Hayden, I hope you feel better real soon!!

Love and ((((HUGS))))
Eva
- Monday, May 12, 2003 7:47 PM CDT

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Alison -

What a sweet letter to Alexandria! You are such an inspiration to us. God bless you!

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Monday, May 12, 2003 7:23 PM CDT

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Just want you to know I am thinking of you and your family!
Paula
Chesterfield, MO - Monday, May 12, 2003 2:23 PM CDT

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Alison
All day long yesterday I thought about how you and the family were doing. Knowning just how hard it was going to be for you I sent an extra amount of prayers to heaven. There is no doubt in my mind, with the way the weather here has been, that Alexandria didn't have something to do with the beautiful day we had. Alison listen to your heart with the family in your subdivision. You are such a wonderful and caring person that I'm sure your faith and daily strength would be a blessing to the family. Loss or not, of a child, so many of us parents out there have gained so much just knowing you. Thank you for being there with your journal entries and pouring your soul out to us. Know that God has wrapped his arms around Alexandria and she soooo safe and happy. Glad to hear that interior decorating is doing good for you!!! Talk to you real soon. Know I'm hear if you need to talk.

God bless you,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Monday, May 12, 2003 1:32 PM CDT

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Love, thoughts and prayers are going out to you today.
Sincerely,
Elaine R
St. Charles, - Monday, May 12, 2003 12:24 AM CDT

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Alison,
I just wanted you to know that I continue to pray for you and the family. I thought about you a lot yesterday. You are a great mother. I've seen it up close and know it to be true.
Kristy
Ballwin, MO 63011 - Monday, May 12, 2003 10:20 AM CDT

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Hi Alison,
Just thought I would drop you a note. I thought about you on Mother's Day during church and wondered if you were able to attend. I prayed for you to have peace that day. I think your dream about Alexandria being cured is a message that she is ultimately cured of the terrible disease. I know she is in heaven and having a wonderful time doing all the things she dreamed of doing that she was unable to do here on earth. We were given a Pink Dogwood from Alex's soccer team when my mom passed. Two years later it is doing great. I was told that the trees purchased at the nursery are very hardy and as long as there is some shade it will do fine. I miss you. God bless.
Ann Newsham
- Monday, May 12, 2003 10:18 AM CDT

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Alison,
How ironic, my son Austin was also sick yesterday and I also had scary thoughts for him. He is much better today. We actually had 50 people over yesterday for his birthday but we spent most of the time together on the couch. At one point he asked to go to bed.
I did venture to the cemetary yesterday. Adams stone came in last week so now I at least have something to look at when I go there. Well my husband left a plant there and it said to Mom love Adam. Well that was it. I sobbed and sobbed. I have never lost it at the cemetary like that before. Its not right as a mother that I have to go to the cemetary to get my mothers day present. Oh well so be it I cant change it. Sometimes yes, the pain is unbearable. I also question why. We were a very happy family. I now hate that we are so sad. I dont think the sadness will ever end. We do manage to go on, but in a much different way.
Thanks for still writing. It does help me to read your journals.
Ruth Trombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
- Monday, May 12, 2003 9:23 AM CDT

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What a beautiful letter to your daughter - I am sure she is very proud of you. Happy Mother's Day and God Bless you.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, May 12, 2003 7:48 AM CDT

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I just wanted to tell you that My Mother and My Best Friend (who was a Mother to a beautiful 7 year old girl) are in Heaven and I have prayed many times to them to look after and be a "Special Mother" to Alexandria.
Someone praying for you and your family.
- Sunday, May 11, 2003 10:51 PM CDT

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Alison,

You are a very, very special Mommy to four beautiful children....your last entries were so beautiful and heartwrenching too....here is something I wanted to share with you on this day.....

My Mom’s A Survivor

My Mom’s a survivor
Or so I’ve heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night
When all others are in bed.

I watch her lay awake at night
And go to hold her hand.
She doesn’t know I’m with her
To help her understand.

But like the sands on the beach
That never wash away.
I watch over my surviving mom
Who thinks of me each day.

She wears a smile for others
A smile of disguise.
But through heavens doors I see
Tears flowing from her eyes.

My mom tries to cope with death
To keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows
It is her way to survive.

As I watch over my surviving mom
Through Heavens open door
I try to tell her that angels
Protect me forevermore.

I know that doesn’t help her
Or ease the burden she bares.
So if you get a chance to go visit her
And show her that you care.

For no matter what she says
No matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart
That time will never heal.

Keeping you in my prayers,
Tracey xo
Calgary,Ab, Canada, - Sunday, May 11, 2003 10:50 PM CDT

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Alison, My thoughts are with you today especially. I wish had the talent for putting into words exactly how much I have grown spiritually from your journals and Alexandria's wisdom beyond her years. Thank you so much for sharing her with us. Peace and God Bless!
Mikie from ALL-KIDS (www.caringbridge.org/tn/emily)
Bartlett, TN - Sunday, May 11, 2003 9:17 PM CDT

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Alison, Grant and family,
Thinking of you today. You have been on my thoughts and in my prayers all day. I know how hard this day must have been. I am sure that your angel, Alexandria, was watching down on you and showering you with her love. You were a great mom to her and are a wondeful mom to all of your kids. You are such a great example for them - teaching them love and faith in Jesus. Hope that Hayden feels better tomorrow. Love,

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon , MO - Sunday, May 11, 2003 8:58 PM CDT

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You are such an inspiration, Alison , to us all. You ARE doing things to help others; you have shared with us the story of your truly amazing Alexandria. Between the two of you, you have changed so many lives, for the good. You have so much love and so much knowledge, I know you will help so many. You are a terrific mother and all four of your children appreciate you so much, I know! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! TO THE ONE OF THE GREATEST MOTHERS I KNOW!
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy)
- Sunday, May 11, 2003 7:08 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today- I hope you and the kids managed to get through the day. My heart goes out to you and those families in your area. What unspeakable tragedies- it's so difficult to understand why things like that happen. Maybe someday it will all be explained. take care-
the Day family
Fishers, IN - Sunday, May 11, 2003 6:26 PM CDT

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Hi Alison......I could not bring myself to go to church today. I just wanted to spend as much time as I could with Emily. Holding her in my arms. It was a quite yet very tear filled day. We went to the cemetery and released 2 balloons to Seth. I was going to do a Mothers Day one but opted for Thomas the Train and a "we love you". I knew he would like those 2.
I have followed your journal for sometime and check in often. I don't often leave messages but your family is in our prayers. Although we may not feel it the same way....we too know that pain of the loss of a child to cancer.
Much Peace Prayers and HOPE for a cure for all childhood cancers
Ruthie (Seth's mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/sethlovestrains <Rbunkmann@msn.com>
North Palm Beach, Fl - Sunday, May 11, 2003 6:22 PM CDT

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Alison -

We cannot even begin to imagine how you must be feeling today. It breaks our hearts every time that we think of your sweet daughter and when we read your words. But, in light of what "today" is and seeing that you are the mother to 4 beautiful children, we just wanted to let you know that we have been praying extra hard for you today. You are such a wonderful mother - you've displayed that throughout Alexandria's illness and you've displayed that now! We don't know how you do it, but you do! Your strength is be be commended! Your faith in God is to be admired! Thank you so much for sharing your story with all of us! And, even though the outcome is not what we all prayed for, your sweet Alexandria touched our lives tremendously (and so did your entire family). Please know that you all are in our thoughts and prayers constantly! God bless you!

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Sunday, May 11, 2003 6:07 PM CDT

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Mrs. Haddock, I wanted to stop by and say I was thinking of you (especially) today. I cannot imagine how hard the day must be for you. As always, your journal entries make me thankful for the time I have with my own two healthy children.

So glad the dogwood is planted. The angel statue sounds beautiful! :)

Praying for you and your family, and the two other families you mentioned in your journal......

Sincerely,
Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Sunday, May 11, 2003 5:45 PM CDT

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Alison,
My thoughts and prayers are with you today.
Love,
Lisa Mosley
Lisa Mosley
- Sunday, May 11, 2003 5:07 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
You are in our prayers on this special day. We will pray for that Dogwood to grow & to bloom. May you have a blessed Mother's Day.
Love,
The Uebeleins
- Sunday, May 11, 2003 1:12 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today, as we both spend our first Mothers Day without our angels. I also have a hard time believing Andy is gone. Every time Glenn and I go somewhere, I feel as if I've forgotten to bring something/someone along. At 3pm every school day, I get that sinking feeling that I've forgotten to pick him up from school...only to shake myself back to reality. I truly understand Alison. God bless you.
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) <www.caringbridge.org/il/legoman>
- Sunday, May 11, 2003 12:15 AM CDT

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Dearest Alison, I can not begin to imagine the many different emotions you are going through today. Please know that we are thinking of you & praying for you on this most difficult Mother's Day. You are an example to all Mothers & I pray that you are able to have a joyful day. I am glad to hear that you are enjoying your work --Alexandria would be so proud. We will also keep the other 2 families in our prayers. With all of your experience, I am sure you can offer much valuable information & hope to the family now dealing with ALL--I know I would want you there. Blessings to you on this Mother's Day & everyday.
The Pyle Family
- Sunday, May 11, 2003 8:55 AM CDT

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Hi Alison
I know I have not signed in a while, but I want to let you know that I am thinking of you today

Love
Angel Kayleigh's Mommy
Sandi <SieraHaze@aol.com>
Clayton, NC - Sunday, May 11, 2003 7:26 AM CDT

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Alison, I've just read Alexandrias page for the first time.I don't know what your going through as I've never lost a child. My son Sam is in remision from a very rare cancer, pleuropulmonary blastoma. Many times we were told he wouldn't make it, we prepared ourselves as best we could for that day but somehow he pulled through. A lot of the other children who were fighting their own battles were not so lucky & sadly passed away. I am thinking of you & your family today, & pray you find the strength to carry on.
Take care
Sara
sara joy <m.joy@tesco.net>
uk - Sunday, May 11, 2003 3:10 AM CDT

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Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you ..
You all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as not a day goes by that I do not think of Alexandria .
Love, Mrs. Scott
- Sunday, May 11, 2003 0:07 AM CDT

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Alison: "Happy" would not be the best choice of word this year, but may you, Grant, and your kids share a blessed Mother's Day. You and yours stay in our thoughts and prayers.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Saturday, May 10, 2003 10:35 PM CDT

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Alison - my thoughts and prayers are always with you, but especially this Mother's Day weekend. All our love to you and your family.
Ann O'Neil and Family
San Diego, CA - Saturday, May 10, 2003 8:59 PM CDT

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Greetings from Niagara Falls/Buffalo, NY. My prayers are withyou this mother's day.
I feel for you. Although I have never lost a child and can not begin to understand your pain, I lost my mom 2 years ago. The pain was aweful, but I make an effort to make "difficult" days special by doing something that personafied my mom. We visit a nursing home in mom's memory.
I hope you too can find peace and a special way to remember your precious little girl through all this.
God bless you! Find comfort in knowing she is with the Lord!!! I bet she's chatting it up with my mom - she adored children!!
Joelle S <Joelleelaine@aol.com>
BUffalo/Niagara Falls, NY USA - Saturday, May 10, 2003 5:50 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Thinking of you this Mother's Day weekend. You are in my heart and prayers.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Saturday, May 10, 2003 4:32 PM CDT

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Dear Alison and Grant- Our thoughts are with you this Mother's Day. I know it will be so , so difficult. Thank God that you have your 3 kids to keep you going tomorrow. You will have that hole in your heart forever. We are thinking of you-
the Day family
- Saturday, May 10, 2003 8:10 AM CDT

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Dear Ones,

Checked in to see how you are getting along. Sounds like you are making your journey along the paths you need to take. When I think of Alexandria, the picture I see is one with her head tilted, she is looking up with the biggest smile on her face (like in the Easter photo). I remember that look the most :)

Thinking of you...

Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Friday, May 9, 2003 11:12 PM CDT

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I was thinking about you today and wanted to let you know. Blessings to you and know that I am definitely continuing to lift all of you up in prayer.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Friday, May 9, 2003 5:15 PM CDT

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Alison: My thoughts and prayers are with you on our first Mother's Day without our angels. I hope you have a peaceful day.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Friday, May 9, 2003 5:09 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Just checking in and wanted to let you know you are close in my thoughts this weekend as Mother's Day approaches. I pray that God will comfort you and give you strength in a way that only HE can, as I can only imagine how difficult a day it will be for you. Praying for you and your whole family.
Debbie Nagy
- Friday, May 9, 2003 4:28 PM CDT

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Alison & Grant,
You don't know me. I got the link to your site originally linking from Jacob Mosely's website to Kailie's. Jacob and his family are friends of mine if you know them. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I just felt like I had to reach out to you somehow. Alexandria sounds like an incredible person. I was thinking of parent's who have lost children today especially because it would have been my son's birthday. He lost his battle with ALL about a year and a half ago. Just wanted you to know that unfortunatly I understand just how hard Mother's day is. I wish I had some thoughts of comfort but I don't... all I can do is pray that God sends you strength and love on this day. It never gets easier or better really only you just learn to cope eventually and go on with life. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Megan Daily <md1225@hotmail.com>
Tonganoxie, KS USA - Friday, May 9, 2003 4:23 PM CDT

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Alison,
Just wanted you to know that I continue to pray for you and come to Alexandria's site often. I'm sure you will never have all the tears shed. I know that I still shed tears many times when visiting your site and she wasn't my daughter! I give you all the credit in the world for trying to pick up the pieces and maintain your lifestyle for your other children. You guys are wonderful examples of God's children. Your faith is still there, which is a major accomplishment in itself. I will be remembering you fondly this Mother's Day and praying for God to wrap His arms around you and hold you very tightly. Alexandria will be sending you her love -- I just know it! Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Friday, May 9, 2003 3:09 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
Beautiful pictures. Thinking about Alexandria and praying for you and your family.
Jane Sheats
Springboro, OH - Friday, May 9, 2003 1:51 AM CDT

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As ever, Alexandria and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Thursday, May 8, 2003 10:07 PM CDT

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Stopping by to say hello and let you know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers daily!

Love and (((((((HUGS)))))
Eva
- Thursday, May 8, 2003 8:03 PM CDT

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Returning ever so often to check on you, still in our hearts and prayers.
Ann P. Goetzman <kjnqueen3@cox.net>
Saint Amant, LA United States of America - Thursday, May 8, 2003 4:57 PM CDT

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Alison, Your family is never far from my thoughts. As I was yelling at my kids to clean up their rooms, your family popped into my mind. Suddenly, the dirty clothes all over the floor didn't seem to be so bad. It was a sobering reminder to me of what is truly important. We continually pray for strength for your family.
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Thursday, May 8, 2003 12:31 AM CDT

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Alison, Grant and kiddos-

Not a day goes by that I'm not thinking about sissy. I know how hard this weekend is going to be for you Alison. Please know that I am thinking about you all and sending a tremendous amount of prayers to heaven for you daily. DON'T EVER let anyone make you feel bad about taking those photos of Alexandria. They are bring a husband and wife, mother and father closer than ever to each other. The more the kids see that the better and safer they are going to feel. Shed those tears as much as you want!!! Alexandria continues to touch so many and always will. Thank you little pink angel for waking up so so many of us!!

God Bless you,

dawn <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Thursday, May 8, 2003 8:42 AM CDT

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I can honestly say I understand the concept of tears never stopping...it is a way of life that is unimaginable. Yet, we keep going don't we...take good care, Love, Kathy
Kathy Charlton <www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel>
- Thursday, May 8, 2003 7:03 AM CDT

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Alison, I know your heart is breaking. I cant imagine it getting any easier, as people say, with time. Just the growing fear that as time gets further and further away, you may forget something, anything, everything. {sigh} I really dont know what to say.. but am thinking of you

Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Thursday, May 8, 2003 6:46 AM CDT

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Your daughter is so beautiful and your story so sad. God bless you and all the other parents who hurt so much.
Barbara
MA USA - Wednesday, May 7, 2003 7:39 PM CDT

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I come here to check on your family often, I come to sign the guest book but words always seem to fail me. My heart breaks for you each time I read one of you journal entries. Your daughter is special she has touched many lives and continues to do so. I will continue to pray for your family.
Debby Roberts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,http://www.caringbridge.org/oh/emilyroberts/
- Tuesday, May 6, 2003 6:36 PM CDT

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Alison

I found out today that the son of a really good friend of mine (Brett's best buddy) was diagnosed with ALL. The incidence is WAY TOO HIGH! Continued prayers for you and your family and sending prayers their way too! I just was drawn to your site and letting you know I think of you and Alexandria all of the time.
Kim Behlmann <Kimbehlmann@charter.net>
Ofallon, MO 63366 - Tuesday, May 6, 2003 6:21 PM CDT

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Good Evening Haddock Family,

I just stopped by to say hello. I am a lurker. I will try to say hi everytime I check in!

I hope you are doing as well as can be expected.

Alison.......I understand! I really do!

My best to all of you....
Love and ((((((((((HUGS))))))))
Eva
- Tuesday, May 6, 2003 6:20 PM CDT

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I hope and pray that every day brings new memories of your sweet girl--and a new sense of peace and comfort from God. I hope you take comfort in the fact that He sees each tear that falls.
Christi Hamilton <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Tuesday, May 6, 2003 7:08 AM CDT

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Alison,
I do not know Missouri geography well and you may not even be close to the trouble, but I have been worried about you and your family with all the news of bad weather. Are you guys okay? Saying special prayers for your protection from Birmingham, Al--
Amanda Adams <bafive@bellsouth.net>
- Tuesday, May 6, 2003 6:39 AM CDT

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As always, I am thinking about you and the path God has led you down. I guess there are reasons we don't immediately realize or understand and working through those in faith isn't always easy. I hope you are doing ok - it sounds like you are doing some very important and difficult things to heal your heart, or at least mend it, huh? Take care and know that you are always in my heart, dear friend.
Monica Lummus <mblummus@earthlink.net>
- Monday, May 5, 2003 5:16 PM CDT

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May God give you and your family the strength and courage needed to face each day without your beautiful child. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Mary
Manchester, MO - Monday, May 5, 2003 1:09 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I have wanted to send a message to you and your amazing family for many months now and was never real sure how to express in words the admiration that I have for all of you. I was referred to Alexandria's website from a friend of a friend and was a fellow classmate of Grant's from Southeast Missouri State. I have been truly touched by your words and thoughts and I am very sorry for your loss. I also have a nine year old daughter and because of your beautiful Alexandria and all that she has given to us, I am a better mother and a better person. We are all better people because of your darling little girl. She accomplished so much while she was here on Earth. She has touched me in so many ways and I cannot begin to thank you enough for sharing her with me. You are an incredible person and I wish you nothing but strength and comfort for many years to come. Sincerely,
Kelly Lauer <MikeLauer@mailcity.com>
St. Peters, MO USA - Monday, May 5, 2003 12:18 AM CDT

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Dear Alison, I'm still lurking and praying for you, Grant, and the kids many times a day. I cannot begin to comprehend your pain and anguish. Words continue to fail me. Please know that you are seldom far from our thoughts.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO - Monday, May 5, 2003 6:29 AM CDT

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I just read your last journal entry and looked at the latest pictures. I think of what you're going thru and my mind immediately goes to my little girls. I stop for a second and thank God for them and today I thank God for you guys to have the courage to keep sharing your thoughts and emotions. Thanks for keeping me on the right path.
Thom Shoemaker <thomas.shoemaker@direcway.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Monday, May 5, 2003 4:21 AM CDT

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Just wanted to say hello and remind you that I'm lifting you in prayer daily. We're walking this walk together, strangers,yet united in our pain. I have to admit that I do smile a tiny smile when I think of our angels playing together in Heaven. God bless you all
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Sunday, May 4, 2003 2:36 PM CDT

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Dear Alison- My parents took pictures of my brother in the funeral home and felt the same way. It felt weird, but it was the last time they were going to ever see him. It's so unbelievably difficult to understand something like that. I know you miss Alexandria profoundly and would give anything for her to not have gone through what she did. I can't imagine how difficult those pictures were for you to look at. I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain. love,
the Day family
Fishers, IN - Sunday, May 4, 2003 7:55 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and your family and keeping you in my prayers.
Alice-Aunt to Angel Janie <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, May 3, 2003 7:06 PM CDT

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You are always in my thoughts and prayers!
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA. - Saturday, May 3, 2003 4:15 AM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know that I'm still checking in on ya'll daily. Still praying for you and thinking of Alexandria constantly. I love those pictures-that is the way I remember seeing her at Westminster Presbyterian.
God bless.
Love,
Jenni
Jenni Burford
Bentonville, AR - Saturday, May 3, 2003 0:03 AM CDT

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Alison & Grant....I think of you daily and dry my tears each time I even try to imagine your emptiness. You have entered my heart forever and I thank you for sharing your emotions. Have you listened to Josh Groban's CD? Song number 5 (I don't remember the name) is so beautiful...I'm sure from reading your entries that music takes you to a special place in your mourning. It takes me there. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Hugs from Ohio.
Anne Merten <amerten@msn.com>
Westerville, OH USA - Friday, May 2, 2003 6:07 PM CDT

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Although we're strangers, I sit here sobbing with you. I am one of those that feels and understands your pain...I feel the exact same way. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Friday, May 2, 2003 2:07 PM CDT

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Miss Alison, I still pray for you and your family every day. This world of cancer is an unbelievably cruel place to live, and tears will always be a part of the curse. I am so looking forward to the day when "God shall wipe away all tears from [our] eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." (Rev. 21:4) Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!
Kim Rutherford <kimruth1@utk.edu>
Knoxville, TN USA - Friday, May 2, 2003 1:50 PM CDT

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God bless!
Cindy Wright
Sparta, Tennessee - Friday, May 2, 2003 1:30 PM CDT

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Alison,
Please know that we will never forget Alexandria, either. Not a day goes by when we do not think of Sissy. As always, we are here for you and you are all in our prayers. Tammy
Tammy Whalen <dtkmdwhalen@cs.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Friday, May 2, 2003 1:10 PM CDT

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Hi there Haddock family:
Just wanted to write a quick note to tell you I am thinking about you, and wanted to let you know that if you need a babysitter at all this month I am home from college and am happy to help with anything you need!!
kara loechner <bella1502@hotmail.com>
st charles, mo usa - Friday, May 2, 2003 12:18 AM CDT

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Saying many prayers for some comfort for you & your family. I can't express how sad I am for your family. I don't think anyone has any right to question how you choose to handle anything including the photos. You do what you feel is right in your heart. No one can tell you how to grieve. I just wish the sadness wasn't so bad, but how could it not be. Sending loving thoughts your way. Take care and thank you for sharing.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Friday, May 2, 2003 12:16 AM CDT

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Dear Grant and Alison and the wee ones too.
I have never known you, but to hear of your loss and your beautiful daughters experience makes me realize that there truly are wonderful people in this world, and not everything is tinged black. I read about how someone thought it was wrong for you to criticize people who are trying to say "helpful" words of advice...In my experience, I have found that only understanding of the pain helps. I do not need advice, only the strength of people to lift me when all has fallen away. I feel that you have been blessed with a beautiful angel who, although it seems wrong to say this, has fulfilled her heavenly duty. It may not seem as though she had enough time, but looking at all of these entries and postings from people, she has touched far more people in her young life, than I even can dream about touching. Your story has renewed my faith in people and I wish you all strength and eventually happiness (Enough to suffice w/o your precious baby) and I pray that your lives are filled with the love and renewed faith that people are behind you 100%.
Becky Hardy <bhardy15@hotmail.com>
O'fallon, Mo USA - Friday, May 2, 2003 12:10 AM CDT

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Dear Haddock Family,
Our internet has been down since spring break. The first thing I did when the DSL repairlady left today was pull up your website to see how you've been. Only after I had a good cry and wiped away the tears am I able to write to you. It breaks my heart to think about what you have had to endure, and what you will continually endure. I cannot comprehend the number of families that are in similar situations with ill children. I cry all over again when I read the entries from these other families. As for the head injury, that was one piece of advice my mother gave me about rearing kids--head wounds bleed ferociously. She was scared out of her wits a few times and I have the head scars to prove it! We think of your family every day and pray for your peace and comfort.
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Friday, May 2, 2003 11:34 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
God gave you those tears as a release, it is not good to try to hold back tears, it is a natural thing to let it go and let it all out. I'm not saying that letting it all out made it any better when you were finally done crying(for that moment), but we have all held back tears and I know for myself it physically makes me ill with a tremendous headache not to cry when I need to. So cry all you want, each and every day as you need to, and in time I pray that the tears will become less. Don't worry what others think about you taking those last pictures. She was YOUR child and you did what you felt you needed to do. I think your wisdom proved out to be correct, because as you said, you felt a need to ask Grant to see those pictures. If you had not taken them then you would have regretted it-right? I know you don't know me except through this site, but I do love your family and pray for all of you often.
In His love and friendship,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester/St. Louis, MO - Friday, May 2, 2003 11:24 AM CDT

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Dear Haddock's,
I'm praying for all of you. I hope all of your friends and family continue to know what to say and what to do for you. You are surrounded by so much love and care. You are in my thoughts constantly as is Alexandria's sweet, sweet face.
Kristy
St. Mark Presbyterian Church
Ballwin, MO - Friday, May 2, 2003 10:09 AM CDT

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Rest in the Lord..I am praying for you all!!!
kara loechner
st charles, mo - Friday, May 2, 2003 9:58 AM CDT

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Hi Allison,
I think and pray for you often.
Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
st. louis, mo - Friday, May 2, 2003 9:14 AM CDT

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Mrs. Haddock, Again...your entry has moved me to tears. I just cannot imagine what you and your family is going through. Your words made perfect sense about the last pictures you took of Alexandria. I can relate a little to what you are feeling about the memories of the oxygen mask and the slow, deep breaths in the final days. I also experienced that with my Mother. We lost her last year in April and she was on a ventilator and we had no way of knowing what she might have wanted to say to us. Having to go through something similar to that with my children would be 10 times harder, I believe.

May the days of Spring bring warmth and sunshine to you and your family. God Bless.


Shiela
NY USA!! - Friday, May 2, 2003 7:46 AM CDT

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Alison,
I wish I were there to give you a big hug. I am sharing your tears as I read your words written so deeply from your heart. Your family is constantly in my thoughts.
Debbie Little <littlecaleb@hotmail.com>
Dickson, TN - Friday, May 2, 2003 0:37 AM CDT

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I am a mother of three. I have never dealt with a child who has passed or sickness compared to what you have felt. My prayers are with you and for your healing. A mother's love is so strong. You are doing all that needs to be with your daughter's passing. I would imagine that whatever you needed to deal with your dear daughter's passing would be what's needed. My prayers are with you, always....
Nicole H <nhinnebusch@attbi.com>
Pittsburgh, PA - Friday, May 2, 2003 0:30 AM CDT

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Dear Alison and family,
I have followed your journey for a number of months. I too know the pain of losing a child to cancer. Our sweet son Seth left us on 11/30/02 after relapsing with ALL. He fought a hard battle but his little body could not take any more. He was just 5 years old.
I have also had some comments said to me which were .....lets say "short of thought" on someone's part. Some one told me that the way I was handling Seth's death was wrong, she had a "need" for me to share my feelings with her and I could not. I have also gotten a few emails that stated if I had a "better relationship with God I would not feel so much pain".
Hmmmmmmmmmmm amazing what people will say.
Much Peace and Prayers to all of you
Ruthie (Seth's mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/sethlovestrains <Rbunkmann@msn.com>
North Palm Beach, Fl - Thursday, May 1, 2003 7:23 PM CDT

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Alison,

What beautiful pictures of Alexandria. We continue to pray for you daily.
Sally Forness <Forness2321@earthlink.net>
Ellisville, MO 63011 - Thursday, May 1, 2003 6:48 PM CDT

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Just dropping in to let you know I'm still here each day and that I love looking at all the pictures of Alexandria. What a beautiful little girl. She just makes my heart "smile". I pray for all of you each day and hope that God is helping to guide your steps each day. God bless you all. Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, May 1, 2003 1:57 PM CDT

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I'm sorry that some people, as Kody's mom said, are "brainless". When I don't what to say, I give those people a big hug. ((((((((Alison))))))))) I pray that the Love and the wings of Jesus surround you and your family today and everyday. God Bless
Shelly Hammett <Shammett2003@yahoo.com>
Louisville, KY - Thursday, May 1, 2003 11:48 AM CDT

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Hi Alison, Your family continues to be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm not really sure what to say here, but wanted to let you know, that even though you don't know me, I still think of your family often. I pray that you find comfort in the memories you have of your beautiful daughter, Alexandria! Take care!
Michelle Prenosil <mpren91@hotmail.com>
Shakopee, MN - Thursday, May 1, 2003 11:36 AM CDT

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Your family is in our thoughts and prayer everyday. I have lost my mother,brother and sister and not a day goes by that I don't think about them and I am so happy for those memories. The memories help me get through the tough times the holidays and just the everyday blues. If you need to talk please know that I am here to listen.
Jeanine Riendeau
O'Fallon, MO - Thursday, May 1, 2003 11:12 AM CDT

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May you find comfort and your days become easier to bear.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

Mary
Manchester, - Thursday, May 1, 2003 11:08 AM CDT

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May you find comfort and your days become easier to bear.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

Mary
Manchester, - Thursday, May 1, 2003 11:08 AM CDT

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I've been following and praying for my friend's daughter for a year now and found Alexandria's site from my friends page. I've prayed for months for both your precious child and your whole family. When I hold my 2 year old, Millie, in my arms, I've tried to conceive of the grief your family is living through - and it just isn't possible to imagine. I'm appalled that any stranger would dare to advise or criticize a family enduring what the Caringbridge families are going through. These guestbooks are strickly intended for moral support. I so sorry that any family has to deal with that kind of garabage.
Also - thank you for posting photos of Alexandria pre-illness. Many families aren't up to doing that - but your celebration of her living spirit is such a beautiful thing; I'm certain it comforts and touches other families who have walked in your shoes. I'll continue to keep you in my prayers. God Bless,
Katie Webb <cww18usa@aol.com>
Columbus, GA USA - Wednesday, April 30, 2003 10:32 PM CDT

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Just checking in. Still thinking of you often.
Tanda Smith
Cape Girardeau, MO - Wednesday, April 30, 2003 9:56 PM CDT

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Dear Allison...
I have had "cowards" sign Kody's guestbook too..I have even had people say awful things to my face, if you can imagine...even while we were in the PICU with him the day after brain surgery. I often wonder how anyone feels the right to hurt another so badly...guess maybe they are just brainless, I really don't know. I have considered shutting down Kody's site a few times just to avoid the hurt but why let them win.
Sorry, I feel like I have just rambled on...I just know how you feel about this whole guestbook thing and I just want you to know that everyday Alexandria peeks into my thoughts and seeing her sweet little face always brings me out of a grumpy mood...Thank you Haddocks for sharing ALexandria and thank you Alexandria for picking up the spirits of a hurting Mommy who is trying her best to do what's right for her little boy~~~~
Kim
~KODYS STORY~
- Wednesday, April 30, 2003 9:49 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
To your April 27th entry, I say AMEN! The walk does get easier, but then I've been at it alot longer & do remember how hard those first few years were - almost unbearable. Even though I'm not writing much, am still checking in on your family. Hope those little "hard-headed" boys are doing ok. Hang in there,
Pat Hunter <thehunters@semo.net>
Dexter, MO - Wednesday, April 30, 2003 9:20 PM CDT

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Alison: All I can say is "Amen". No one has the right to give us their opinion on how we should feel, act, talk, etc. Spend a day in our shoes......they'd be running for the hills. You and your family are always on my mind. I know our beautiful pink-winged angels are in Heaven as perfect as ever and playing, laughing and dancing together. Forever in our hearts.....
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Wednesday, April 30, 2003 7:07 PM CDT

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Dear Haddock Family,
My name is Allison and I am 14 years old. I have been watching your stories and praying for you. I can't even imagine what you are going through but I know that God is guiding you. I wish I could say something to ease your pain, but the only thing I can say is God bless you through this difficult time.
Allison Meyer <sweetdreamer511@centurytel.net>
Columbia , MO - Wednesday, April 30, 2003 4:59 PM CDT

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Alison, Dan and I think of you all so often and check on this webpage. We are doing okay....the good days are wonderful, the bad days are hell. I'm trying to stay focused on life, but I can't help but get frustrated and depressed. We keep you in our prayers.
Janet Sims, mom to Janie, forever 5 years old www.caringbridge.org/al/janiesims
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, April 30, 2003 2:43 PM CDT

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Grant and Alison -

We are still so heart-broken for your family. It is still so hard to believe that your sweet Alexandria is now a beautiful angel in Heaven. We are forever changed for "knowing" such a sweet girl, if only through this website! One thing for sure, she was certainly a happy child, who has the best family! Please know that you all continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. Alexandria will never be forgotten. God bless you all.

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Wednesday, April 30, 2003 8:56 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and praying for peace. Although I haven't signed in in awhile, your family continues to be in my thoughts and prayers. It seems like there are sweet little reminders of Alexandria everywhere. The pictures are adorable!! God bless you all!

Katy Davis
St. Peters, MO USA - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 11:16 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
The PINK Dogwood is a perfect choice! It will look beautiful in the "secret garden"!
You are in my thoughts and prayers always,
Nancy
Nancy Cole
- Tuesday, April 29, 2003 11:13 PM CDT

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Alison,

I think Pink Dogwoods are one of the most beautiful trees God created. What a wonderful memorial for Alexandria, but I can't even imagine how hard it was for you in picking it out. Alexandria is so beautiful in the new pictures. I especially love the one of the "three beautiful girls".

You and your family are in my prayers and thoughts everyday.
Nancy Merritt <merrittn@squared.com>
St. Peters, MO - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 11:00 PM CDT

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Allison,
Your family remains in my thoughts and prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 10:44 PM CDT

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Dear Haddock Family,

I was Alexandria's sunday school teacher while she was at St. Mark. I have been reading your journals eagerly to see how you and your family are doing. I am very sorry for your loss, and I know that God is with you all. I just wanted to drop you a note that I will be honoring Alexandria at my college's Relay for Life this Friday, May 2nd. If you would like I will send you her luminary. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

Love,

Amy Naylor
Amy Naylor <naylor@stolaf.edu>
Wildwood , Mo USA - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 9:59 PM CDT

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Praying for your family Alison. I find it hard at times to find the right words to say. I just want you to know that I'm praying for your family. I found the email you wrote back about two years ago. I was cleaning through my drafts and there it was. Alexandria was a daily stop for me and I find myself still checking on you all everyday. God Bless!!
Anita
Sikeston, MO - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 9:49 PM CDT

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Alison, I am so sorry that someone has to be so rude. We will never know the pain that you have been through. Know that there are alot of us who love you and your family, and who want you to continue writing. Your words are beautiful. Like I have said before, your strength has helped me through different situations with Amanda. We are due to finish treatment this week, but I must say I am so nervous, the word relapse just keeps haunting me. You went through so much with Alexandria, and were always so strong. I hope if ever put in your situation I will have your strength. Take care, and remember we all care!
Tonya <www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
- Tuesday, April 29, 2003 7:21 PM CDT

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I for one believe that you have the right to say anything you have on your mind. You & your family have been through so much that you must use any outlet possible to express yourself! I appreciate the heartfelt honesty you use in your writing & expressing your thoughts. I think its a gift that you have the ability to put your thoughts and feelings into words. My heart is with you & your precious family & you say ANYTHING you want in your entries. You have an incredible support system all around you & even those of us that have never met you personally feel like we know you a little better because of your honest thoughts & written emotions.
Eileen Spratt <etspratt@aol.com>
Eureka, MO - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 6:09 PM CDT

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thinking and praying for your family today, like I do everyday!!!
kara loechner
st charles, mo usa - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 5:51 PM CDT

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Dear Allison & Grant,
We finally entered the new century and are on the internet. Your journal has some of the most beautiful writings I have ever read. We think of Alexandria, her siblings and you daily. We are praying for peace, healing of your broken hearts, strength for your Hayden, Hunter and Addison. What a beautiful family you are! God bless you always and often.
Sincerely,

Jacqueline & Dave <olsonhaystack@aol.com>
- Tuesday, April 29, 2003 4:48 PM CDT

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Alison - I'm usually a "lurker" :) but today I wanted you to know how often I think of your sweet Alexandria. I found your site through Janie Sims caringbridge page. This weekend I ran the 1/2 marathon in Nashville. As we waited for the race to start, I closed my eyes and said a prayer for Janie, for Alexandria, and for Robert Carlton. There I stood in the middle of 17000 other people -- yet I knew God could hear ME. Thank you for allowing Alexandria to touch our lives through your journal entries.
Tammy Holston <tsholston@aol.com>
Birmingham, Al - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 4:39 PM CDT

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Alison - I'm usually a "lurker" :) but today I wanted you to know how often I think of your sweet Alexandria. I found your site through Janie Sims caringbridge page. This weekend I ran the 1/2 marathon in Nashville. As we waited for the race to start, I closed my eyes and said a prayer for Janie, for Alexandria, and for Robert Carlton. There I stood in the middle of 17000 other people -- yet I knew God could hear ME. Thank you for allowing Alexandria to touch our lives through your journal entries.
Tammy Holston <tsholston@aol.com>
Birmingham, Al - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 4:39 PM CDT

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Alison - I'm usually a "lurker" :) but today I wanted you to know how often I think of your sweet Alexandria. I found your site through Janie Sims caringbridge page. This weekend I ran the 1/2 marathon in Nashville. As we waited for the race to start, I closed my eyes and said a prayer for Janie, for Alexandria, and for Robert Carlton. There I stood in the middle of 17000 other people -- yet I knew God could hear ME. Thank you for allowing Alexandria to touch our lives through your journal entries.
Tammy Holston <tsholston@aol.com>
Birmingham, Al - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 4:38 PM CDT

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Dear Haddocks,
I followed Alexandria's journey and wanted you to know that she truly brought me closer to God. I think of her often and check in to see how your family is doing. May god bless your little pink tipped angel and may your pink dogwood bring you comfort and memories of what her beautiful soul meant to so many people here on earth.
Lynn
St. Peters, MO - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 3:46 PM CDT

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Mrs. Haddock, I signed the guestbook yesterday and was also dismayed at the entry of one individual. When a boy in our hometown was terminally ill last year someone had the audacity to complain in their entry about how his Mother was updating the journal in all capital letters and how it was difficult to read. She made the decision to delete the entry from their journal. You're probably aware that you are able to do that, but wanted to share just in case.

I continue to think of your family every day. God Bless all of you.

Sincerely,

Shiela
NY USA!! - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 2:13 PM CDT

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Hello Haddocks!!

Allison I know you asked not to respond to "special prayers" entry but you know I can't. There are things you and say and do for someone suffering. Let them know you care, your outward actions, just even a phone call to let them know you are there. Sometimes just to listen and not say a thing!!! Your journal entries are never meant to hurt anyone directly and anyone who truly knows you knows that. Caringbridge is meant for a release and to connect with others out there in the same situtation. You once wrote that it seems like the only time you post anything is when you are down. Doesn't that say something. This site is helping with your grieving process. Alexandria is so proud of you keeping this site going and using to help yourself and others. Know that I continue to keep you in my daily thoughts and prayers for God to watch over all of you and provide you daily strength. As for the "pink" dogwood....excellent choice!!!! Everlasting reminder of your beautiful "pink angel". Talk to you soon.


God bless,
dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
o'fallon, mo usa - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 1:44 PM CDT

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Alison- I read the "special prayers" entry and my blood began to immediately boil. How obnoxious- like you need someone telling you to how to write in your very own journal. I just checked in again and was glad to see you address that person in your entry. It only validated your previous entry about how hurtful things can be and some people should keep their mouths shut. Stay strong and know we care-
Melissa Day
- Tuesday, April 29, 2003 12:30 AM CDT

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ALISON,
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN OUR PRAYERS DAILY TO FIND THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH EACH DAY. EVEN THOUGH I MAY NOT SIGN IN EACH DAY I ALWAYS CHECK ON YOU. KNOW THAT YOU ALL ARE THOUGHT OF AND CARED ABOUT BY SO MANY. ~*The pink dogwood sounds beautiful, just like Alexandria.*~
Lee Ann (Kristan's mommy)
- Tuesday, April 29, 2003 11:15 AM CDT

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May peace be with you during this difficult time.
Kelly www.caringbridge.org/nv/baileyaustinjohnson <mom2baycam@charter.net>
Lake Tahoe, NV USA - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 10:44 AM CDT

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After reading Shannon's entry below about the dogwood I thought I would also add on. I have a good friend that lives in Dardene Prairie(I believe that is fairly close to where you are located) and she lost two dogwoods last year because of the thick clay soil that Shannon is speaking of. When they researched it, they were told to mound a considerable amount of good top soil and then basically plant the dogwood above ground. They replanted a new one last summer and it bloomed beautifully this spring. From your entry it sounded like you were having it professionally planted so they really should be very aware of this problem with the clay soil in your area. Don't want to add to your stress, but Shannon is right about them surviving in that Missour clay soil. If planted right, it should do fine!!
Debbie Nagy
- Tuesday, April 29, 2003 10:19 AM CDT

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Alison,
It is a thousand wonders you did not kiss the cheeks off your beautiful Alexandria. Just looking at those precious pictures makes me want to kiss the computer screen. What an angel, a beautiful angel. Thinking of you today and praying hard for your peace.
Amanda Adams
Bham, Al - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 8:53 AM CDT

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Good morning. Just checking in - the pictures you posted are so beautiful! And what a wonderful thing to do in Alexandria's memory - Dogwoods are such beautiful trees! Praying for your family always - god bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 8:35 AM CDT

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Hi Alison,

I just wanted to let you know that I am right here praying for you--for everything that you are going through. I wrote an entry on my own journal a little while back indicating that when it comes to dealing with crisis, people are sometimes very hard to deal with no matter whether they love us or not and sometimes especially if they do love us or care. I will continue to lift you up in prayer along with the rest of your family. This is such a long, hard road in SO many different ways. I know for a fact that God is using everything you say for His glory. Blessings and know that I love you!

Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 8:12 AM CDT

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Alison,
I read your update and my heart goes out to you and your family.I can only imagine what it is like to walk in your shoes.I did lose my grandson James to t-cell ALL and know what it is like as a grandparent.It hurts me every day of my life. You are right to feel the way you do about comments people make.I have had some real stupid ones said to me since James passed.I think if people don't know what to say then "don't say anything" or a simple "I am sorry for your loss" is enough.
Your loss is so fresh and everyone should understand that.

I will keep you and yours in my prayers.

Blessings,
Bonnie <www.caringbridge.com/page/jamiebowman>
Columbus, Ohio - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 1:10 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I think it is a great idea to plant a tree in honor and memory of Alexandria, but when you said it was a Dogwood, I felt compelled to warn you on their care. If you didnt know, Dogwoods will die if planted in full sun, in our icky missouri clay soil. I hope they warned you about planting them in a shaded to partly shaded area. I learned this after looseing four Dogwood trees before giveing up on growing one. Just thought I should let you know to be safe before planting it, I would hate to see it die, and I know that it would be hard on you to see that happen. We keep your family in our prayers. Take care. Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO - Monday, April 28, 2003 10:38 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I think it is a great idea to plant a tree in honor and memory of Alexandria, but when you said it was a Dogwood, I felt compelled to warn you on their care. If you didnt know, Dogwoods will die if planted in full sun, in our icky missouri clay soil. I hope they warned you about planting them in a shaded to partly shaded area. I learned this after looseing four Dogwood trees before giveing up on growing one. Just thought I should let you know to be safe before planting it, I would hate to see it die, and I know that it would be hard on you to see that happen. We keep your family in our prayers. Take care. Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO - Monday, April 28, 2003 10:38 PM CDT

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I just LOVE the picture of Alexandria in her Easter dress and holding her basket. What a beautiful little girl! I sure wish I had known her -- from the words I've read and the pictures I've seen she seems so beautiful in many ways.

The tree sounds like a lovely idea. I keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Shiela
NY USA!! - Monday, April 28, 2003 10:16 PM CDT

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Alison
I am so sorry that you had such a hard time Sunday. When I am in church I seem more emotional a lot of the time...you'd think that it would be the other way around, wouldn't you. Hope that you had a good Easter. Sorry to hear about the trip to the Emergency Room. What terrible memories that must have brought pouring back. I am sorry.

The tree sounds beautiful. The office I work for gave us a gift certificate for a tree for Matthew and we had it planted last fall. The beautiful pink blossoms in the spring will be a gentle reminder of Alexandria and her pink-tipped angel wings!

You are in my thoughts and prayers. We'll talk soon.
Love,
Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Monday, April 28, 2003 8:52 PM CDT

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PLEASE KNOW YOUR FAMILY WILL REMAIN IN OUR PRAYERS. I AM SORRY IF I EVER SAID ANYTHING THAT SOUNDED THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED IN YOUR UPDATE. SOMETIMES THINGS CAN COME OUT WRONG WHEN WE ARE TRYING OUR BEST TO COMFORT YOU. I PRAY GOD WILL HELP ME FIND THE RIGHT WORDS, JUST KNOW I AM HERE. I COULD NOT BEGIN TO IMMAGINE YOUR PAIN. IT HURTS ME JUST TO HEAR WHAT YOU FEEL, MUCH LESS TO WALK IN YOUR SHOES.
LEE ANN(KRISTAN'S MOMMY)
- Monday, April 28, 2003 7:56 PM CDT

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Dear Alison and family,
All I will say is that I continue to remember your family in prayer. I am so sorry for your pain and broken heart over the loss of Alexandria. There are no words to make it go away or even any better. Just know that I pray for all of you.
In Him,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester / St. Louis, MO - Monday, April 28, 2003 7:26 PM CDT

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Dear Alison,
We cannot completely put ourselves in your shoes because we have never been there. Sometimes people choose not to say anything to the grieving person because they are afraid they don't know the right thing to say. I am not sure what is best, saying something that could possibly not be the "right" thing but your heart was in the right place when you said it, or not saying anything at all. I think most grieving people would rather have something said about their loved one than nothing at all. Sometimes people realize after they say something that it was not a good thing to say and then they suffer from guilt for days reliving the "wrong" thing they said. I am sure no one intentionally means to say something hurtful to you, so if they do, try to forgive them even though it may be hard.
Praying for you to somehow find peace and have your pain lessened.
a friend
- Monday, April 28, 2003 6:50 PM CDT

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There are never the right words to say to someone grieving, nevertheless, don't criticize those that cannot express themselves perfectly, just the right way, or the way that you feel they should. Just thank God that they care to say anything at all. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.

special prayers
- Monday, April 28, 2003 5:00 PM CDT

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I know it doesn't help much, but I totally understand what you're going thru. This is a long, difficult journey...this thing called grief. I too had a major 'melt down' over the weekend. Just when you think there isn't another tear in your body, huh? Please know that I am thinking of you and praying for you all the time. Even thou we're strangers, we're in this together. My Andy has been gone for 16 weeks and I miss him more every day. God bless you
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Monday, April 28, 2003 4:41 PM CDT

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Alison,
You don't know me. I live in Birmingham and found out about you and Alexandria through Janie Sims' site. I agree with you that words meant to comfort can be so hurtful. I am reminded that Christ left the Comforter, His Spirit, here on Earth to do that work. Sometimes I think it is best to leave that job to Him. These are the words I will leave with you today. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
Remembering you in my prayers--
Amanda Adams <bafive@bellsouth.net>
Birmingham, AL - Monday, April 28, 2003 10:18 AM CDT

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Dear Alison and Grant, I just want you to know that we are still thinking of you and Alexandria all of the time. I often think of her and your family during the day, on the Easter holiday, my daughter's birthday 3 days ago,etc. It makes me so thankful for our health, and so sad that your family is experiencing such pain. I don't know how you could go to church and not cry hysterically. It's just simply impossible to lose a child and not be forever devastated. I know you are living in between those terribly sad moments, and that's the best you can do. I pray for you and hope things get a little bit better each day. Love-
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Monday, April 28, 2003 8:36 AM CDT

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Dear Alison and Family,
I am so sorry about Hayden. You should not have to go to a hospital for years!! Hunter's feelings are still so fresh too. Hope you have a better weeks ahead. We think about you so much.
Jane and Doug Sheats
Springboro, OH - Saturday, April 26, 2003 10:04 AM CDT

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I hope you are having a good week. I was thinking about you and wanted to let you know.
Kristy
St. Mark Presbyterian Church
Ballwin, MO 63011 - Saturday, April 26, 2003 9:33 AM CDT

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Those poor boys...I hope that they are both feeling better -and that you and Grant can get a chance to catch your breath. I just wanted to log in and see how you all are doing. Please know that I continue to think of and pray for all of you - I wish I could do something more.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Friday, April 25, 2003 11:51 PM CDT

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Alison: A friend sent me the following URL. It's a quite interesting and apecial site. I thought you might like to visit. http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/ I hope this week has proven much less eventful for you, Grant, and the kids. Remember that you all stay in our thoughts and prayers.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Friday, April 25, 2003 11:11 PM CDT

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I came by today to let you know that I care. I have you all on my mind all the time. God Bless
Anita
Sikeston, MO - Friday, April 25, 2003 4:40 PM CDT

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Dear Family,
I am glad to see you back online. I hope you all enjoyed your spring break. Ours was too short but welcomed. Mallory is in a play at Sikeston and has practice three nights a week. More "road trips." I carpool with a lady so it is not too bad. The play "Wagon Wheels West" is a musical with all kids. She is Grandma Rogers, editor of the Vinegar Bottle Bugle. The play starts June 19th so try to plan a trip down and visit ok. Michelle called, it was great to hear from her. I will write soon and tell Hunter "Aunt Jo" is saving a big kiss just for him. We love you all.
Aunt Joella
Joella Jones <jojones@sheltonbbs.com>
New Madrid, MO - Friday, April 25, 2003 11:51 AM CDT

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Wow! Sounds like you have had your hands full. ER visits are no fun! Sure hope your Easter weekend was peaceful and nice. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA. - Friday, April 25, 2003 1:28 AM CDT

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So sorry to hear about your most rescent e.r. visit. We have done stitches twice with Jordan. It does sound like your experience was more pleasant, no make that less un-pleasant than mine! He was NOT a happy camper.
Diane Miller
- Thursday, April 24, 2003 8:59 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks, BEAUTIFUL PICTURES!! Well, your last week proves that you have built a large "Haddock prayer chain," and that your support continues to keep you in their prayers. I'm so sorry that all of you had to go through such agony and fear all over again, rushing to the hospital... back in the ER....UGH... your right it doesn't seem fair. I hope Hayden heals well, and I truly hope that Hunter heals as well.
Sharyn Duncan
- Thursday, April 24, 2003 2:30 PM CDT

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I know God does not give you more than you can handle, but come on. As I read your site today I am so thankful that Hayden is o.k. Thankful God gave you strength to make it through this. Praying Hunter will soon believe in prayer again. As an adult it is sometimes hard to understand so I pray for wisdom for you to be able to explain this to Hunter. I am also so thankful for your neighbors & your support system. I thought of your family often on Easter praying you were managing through. Sending hugs & prayers your way.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Thursday, April 24, 2003 2:12 PM CDT

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Hi Haddocks, I pray that things are going a little bit better for you, that Hayden is healing nicely, and that Hunter is OK, too. Those head wounds really bleed - my kids had three, and I swore that there wasn't enough blood left in them after the stitches finally closed up the gashes. Hunter, please know that God does answer prayers. You prayed for Sissy to be free from pain, and she is. She's flying around on those pink-tipped angel wings and is healthy and pain-free once more.

Ms. Pam
Wildwood, MO - Thursday, April 24, 2003 1:12 PM CDT

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Hello Haddocks! Kids sure keep us on our toes,don't they?
When Ryan had his freak accident at Christmas time, I was thinking the same, "Hadn't he been through enough?" God wants us to stay on our toes, I guess. I use to pray for more strength all the time. Then I learned God gives us more to endure, to build more strength. So I was scared for awhile to ask for more strength. I offer my family to be in God's hands, but I kind of leave off the strength part. I'll get over that in time.
Our love to your family.
Take care and hang in there.
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il USA - Thursday, April 24, 2003 10:45 AM CDT

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Hi Guys!!!

And it's a wonder why we are getting gray hairs earlier in life!!!!! Poor Hayden!! And Hunter you pray as much as you want God does listen to your prayers buddy. I know it doesn't seem like it because Sissy went to be with him but he loves you sooo much and loves to hear from you. Not always are our prayers answered the way we want God has a greater plan that we must trust. Hope you had a Blessed Easter. I thought about you guys all day long knowing how hard this first holiday was going to be with out Alexandria. I continue daily to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Talk to you soon.

God Bless you,
dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Wednesday, April 23, 2003 9:36 PM CDT

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Hi Haddock's,
It has been a while since I have checked the website. Wow what an easter weekend you had. I was thankful that the item that caused the gash was a baseball bat and not a knee hockey stick we gave Hunter for his birthday...Head injuries are awful as they bleed so much. I am happy he only (ha) needed stitches.

Abby had such a good time with Hunter, Hayden and Addison the other day and is cherishing the sandals of Alexandria's you gave her. She clings to these things but in a healthy way. She said the other day that she was happy that Alexandria was in heaven with all the cats and Abby's beloved Mimi (Grandma). She said that Alexandria fought so hard for us for over 2 years and now she can do anything she wants in heaven. I am thankful for everyone who has helped Abby through this time as her support system has been amazing. Alison, you have been part of that in such a significant way that only you could provide. Many times it seems like what happened to Alexandria must be a dream (nightmare) as how could something so horrible happen...but if you think of it on a purely spiritual level she is sooooo lucky to be with God, that part is so hard. I miss you. Still praying even when I am just lurking:)

Ann Newsham
- Wednesday, April 23, 2003 4:45 PM CDT

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Oh my! What a day you all had on Friday! I sure hope Hayden is feeling much much better now. The new pictures you posted are absolutely beautiful - it is so wonderful to see your beautiful little girl. Think of you all often, praying continuously for your peace and comfort. God bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, April 23, 2003 11:32 AM CDT

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Dear Haddocks,
Hope you had a peaceful Easter. You need one after your Good Friday incident.We love to look at your pictures of Alexandria and the rest of the family. We think about all of you and keep praying for you and your family.

Nancy Dalton
Wildwood, MO 63040 - Tuesday, April 22, 2003 9:32 PM CDT

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OH MY what a day you had!! I am thankful it was fixable (Thank you God)..the poor little guy. I can't imagine those words coming out of his mouth and not having your heart just break. It goes to show we don't know how cancer affects our other children.....until something like that happens. Our little Emily was only 2 1/2 when Seth died 4 and 1/2 months ago. He was here one day and gone the next. Many people have told us she won't remember but she knows her brother is not here. We tell her he is in heaven but that is a hard concept for a 2 1/2 year old.
Just wanted to say hello and let you know we are still thinking of you and praying for you!
Much Peace Prayers and Hope for a cure for all childhood cancers
Ruthie (Seth's mom) www.caringbridge/fl/sethlovestrains <Rbunkmann@msn.com>
North Palm Beach, Fl - Tuesday, April 22, 2003 7:50 PM CDT

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Alison,

I am ashamed to admit it, however for 31 years I have never given blood. I did so today in memory of Alexandria. Thanks for helping to change the way I approached the opportunity...

Nina
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, April 22, 2003 4:10 PM CDT

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Alison,

You said in your journal entry on the 17th that "Recently, it seems that I only update the website when I am sad."
I think that is because you come here to this sight for support! We are your support and continue to pray for your peace of mind.
Love,
An email friend, Linda
Linda Watson <ltwats7@aol.com>
Birmingham, AL USA - Monday, April 21, 2003 9:05 PM CDT

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Alison,

I am so sorry to hear about the accident on Friday. I am glad that Hayden is feeling better and that Hunter can see him heal. I think about you and pray for your family all the time. The pictures of Alexandria are beautiful. We are still concerned and appreciate the updates and photos. Alexandria's bravery and faith remain etched in my mind. Your family is truly inspirational!
Nina
Manchester, MO - Monday, April 21, 2003 2:06 PM CDT

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Allison,
I wasn't able to check on you since last Thursday until this morning. I am so sorry to hear about Hayden's accident. I'm sure you were just about over the edge! I remember my daughter getting hit in the mouth with a metal bat in kindergarten, but the split was the lip and they couldn't stitch it. It was very scary, and I hadn't been through all that you folks have. God bless you for thinking to turn to God at that moment. How strong your faith continues to be.....I am simply amazed. How sad though that Hunter felt that prayers are not heard. I can totally understand where this comes from. I know I have felt this same way as an adult, so how can we expect a child to understand. I was thinking of your family, along with all my other caringbridge families that have lost children this year as I sat at Church on Good Friday. Our service was at night and it was totally dark except for candle light. It was very condusive for thinking of all "my kids" that have gone on before us. I sat and cried.....but you know what? I also thought of them on Easter Morning as I sat in my pew with the sun shining through the stain glass windows. What a beautiful sight. Just imagine the beauty these kids see from their perspective now. I can't begin to imagine how lonely you are, but please know that I continue to pray for all of you each day. God bless you all. Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Monday, April 21, 2003 12:46 AM CDT

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We wanted to wish you a Happy Easter. I was so sorry to read about your "Good Friday". I hope your extended spring break gave you some time to relax and refresh yourselves. We think about you often.
The Rucks
Ballwin, mo - Monday, April 21, 2003 12:23 AM CDT

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I am SO sorry you had to endure that. I can only imagine the feelings that you had to go through. I'm praying that your Easter brought a glimmer of joy even though you had to spend it without one of your precious children. God bless you and please know I'm still praying for you.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Monday, April 21, 2003 12:20 AM CDT

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To my dearest family, some things I’d like to say,
But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay.
I’m writing this from Heaven where I dwell with God above
Where there are no more tears or sadness, there is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I’m out of sight
Remember that I’m with you every morning, noon and night.
The day I had to leave you, when my life on Earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me; he said, “I welcome you.
It’s good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on.
I need you here so badly, as part of My big plan.
There’s so much that we have to do to help our mortal man.”
Then God gave me a list of things he wished for me to do
Foremost on that list of mine is to watch and care for you.
And I will be beside you, every day and week and year.
And when you’re sad, I’m standing there to wipe away the tear.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day’s chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth and all those loving years,
Because you’re only human, they’re bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you of all that God has planned,
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on Earth is o’er,
I am closer to you now than I ever was before.
And to my very many friends, trust God knows what is best.
I’m still not far away from you; I’m just beyond the crest.
There are many rocky roads ahead and many hills to climb,
But together we can do it taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too
That as you give unto the world, so the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who is in sorrow or in pain
Then you can say to God at night, my day was not in vain.
And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile,
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is down and feeling low
Just lend a hand to pick him up as on your way you go.
When you are walking down the street and you’ve got me on your mind
I’m walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind,
And when you feel the gentle breeze or the wind upon your face,
That’s me giving you a great big hug or just a soft embrace.
And when it’s time for you to go from that body to be free
Remember you’re not going…you are coming here to me.
And I will always love you from that land way up above.
I’ll be in touch again soon,
P.S. God sends his Love.
Jessica
- Monday, April 21, 2003 11:22 AM CDT

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How frightening your afternoon must have been on Friday. Again, your journal entry made me feel as though I was there, with you, on your trip to the ER. Your sons do sound like quite compassionate individuals! To be concerned that you are not in your seat belt, and your older son to feel as badly as he did shows what warm-hearted little boys you have! God Bless them!!

I cannot imagine how "6" stitches must be to go through not only as a child, but as the parent. Our oldest child has had "1" staple (instead of 2 stitches) and that was hard enough to deal with as a Mommy!

I sure hope everyone is feeling okay after this Easter weekend and that your family received strength from Angel Alexandria. :o)

God Bless you!

Shiela
NY - Monday, April 21, 2003 7:12 AM CDT

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Alison, I have had you on my mind today, and hope that you had a nice Easter. I am sure it was hard being Alexandrias first one in heaven, I am sure she was watching over you all. You and your family continue to be in my prayers, you are amazing! Hope Hayden is feeling ok, Take care.
Tonya <www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
- Sunday, April 20, 2003 11:32 PM CDT

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HE IS RISEN INDEED!!!!
I am so sorry that you had a stressful Friday but pray that your Easter weekend was calm and joyous. I know that Alexandria was having a big Easter Egg hunt in heaven with my neice Janie.
I pray that the days to come will be calm ones.
Alice-Aunt to Angel Janie <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Sunday, April 20, 2003 10:39 PM CDT

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alison

I have been thinking of you all day today and what a difficult time this must be for you, Grant, and the kids. By your journal entry and mishap with Hayden, it is proven that God is testing you once again. You are so strong! Hoping no more "accidents" come your way for at least the next few years. You deserve a break more that anyone and I am wishing only happy days come your way soon. May God once again give you the strength and comfort you need in the days ahead. Praying for you and your family as always!

Kim Behlmann
O'Fallon, MO 63366 - Sunday, April 20, 2003 10:32 PM CDT

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Hey Hayden...Hope your boo-boo is feeling better today...I remember when my little boy and girl did the same thing a long time ago...well, she is OK..but she is alot more sillier then she used to be!
Love, Kim


~KODYS STORY~
- Sunday, April 20, 2003 9:59 PM CDT

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Happy Easter to all of you. Hayden , that boo boo will make you look tough!! Bless your heart.. Hope you're feeling better.. You are all in our prayers..
Love, The Schwartzs'
Lisa
- Sunday, April 20, 2003 7:48 PM CDT

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Oh Alison: What a fright. And hurt Hunter as much for causing the injury as Hayden for being the one hit. How fortunate that you were home and that your friends and neighbors were able to respond as quickly as they did. And what a new challenge you've identified -- to help Hunter understand that the healing the Lord brings in response to our prayers sometimes means welcoming a special soul home. May the Lord continue to guide, strengthen, and sustain you, Grant, and your family through each day.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Sunday, April 20, 2003 7:27 PM CDT

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Thinking about all of you this Easter...and hoping that Hayden's head is feeling better. When I was about Hunter's age I accidentally clocked one of my younger brothers on the head with a rock and felt just awful. I'm praying for all of you that this Easter is joyful and full of wonderful family time.
Kristy
St. Mark Presbyterian Church
Ballwin, MO 63011 - Sunday, April 20, 2003 8:37 AM CDT

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Dear Haddock Family,
I have been remiss in signing in but continue to lurk several times a day. Sorry to hear what happened on Friday. Thank goodness all he needed was stitches. I bet he was so brave. I think often of Alexandria and only need to turn around to see the beautiful picture of her she gave to me .. I look at it often as at times I still can't believe she is not here. I feel very fortunate and blessed to have had her in my life. Thank you for that. I wish you all a happy Easter. I know it will be hard as all *firsts* are .. I also know how strong you all really are and will be ok.. Just take it a few minutes at a time and then you can get through anything. All my love and prayers to you all, always, forever!
Love, Mrs. Scott
- Sunday, April 20, 2003 0:14 AM CDT

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HAPPY EASTER ALEXANRIA...I HOPE YOU FIND THE BIGGEST AND BEST EGGS IN HEAVEN..:)
Jodie Summers..... http://www.caringbridge.org/ca/lindsayjohnson <jsummers1@bak.rr.com>
Arvin, California United States of America..."Pray for Our Troops" - Sunday, April 20, 2003 0:01 AM CDT

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Dearest Haddock Family,
"GOOD FRIDAY", Yeah right!!! We are so sorry to hear about Hayden's boo boo head! It sounds like he was so very brave! He was so cute today when he told me and Lauren the story as to what happened, play by play! Remember we have a date at Burger King, next week, Ms. Nancy promised!!
We feel so bad that you all had to go through this emotional ordeal!! Alison, I do agree, you must get not a one year but, a five year "by" on any tragic events!

You have been in my thoughts and prayers so much, I know this must be a very emotional time for you without Alexandria here for the recent Birthdays and Easter! I will continue to ask God for strength,comfort, and a sense of peace for you and Grant!!! I thank God everyday and consider myself so lucky to have known and loved such an amazing little girl!The memories I have of Alexandria will be forever in my heart!
Happy Easter!
God Bless You,
Nancy
Nancy Cole
- Saturday, April 19, 2003 11:32 PM CDT

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I am not sure what to say , as I dont want to pretend to even begin to imagine what you are going through. But I wanted to drop by and extend our condolences and wishes that Alexandria is pain free and at peace, looking over you all. Hayden my gosh, you are really lucky. Mom must have been terrified. Am I ever going to get thru just one of your entries without crying?
Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Saturday, April 19, 2003 4:51 PM CDT

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ALL I CAN SAY IS OH MY GOSH!!!!! A METAL BAT! THAT WOULD HAVE REALLY DONE ME IN AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN LYING ON THE FLOOR. YES, YOU SHOULD HAVE LONGER THAN A YEAR OFF! GOD BLESS YOU.
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THIS EASTER:)

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook :) (Leukemia AML M4)

TRACY SOLOMON
- Saturday, April 19, 2003 3:47 PM CDT

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Wow!!! What a day-I knew there was a reason God placed you and your family on my heart yesterday,and yes I was praying for your entire family. I still am. I pray for a peacefilled,glorified,noneventful Easter for you. Christ is risen indeed!!
Friend in Christ
- Saturday, April 19, 2003 8:43 AM CDT

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Oh what a day! I would think you would be granted more then one year away from a hospital. You made it through, thank goodness. The poor boys! Anyway hope you have a wonderful Easter! God bless all of you! Love Cat
Cat Borkowski
- Saturday, April 19, 2003 8:05 AM CDT

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boys will be boys, I think my parent seriously considered making me wear my football helmet from age 4 through 12. By the time I was 12, pops just said the heck with it and stitched me up at home....I never needed stitches again...God forbid I would ever go bald though, my head probably looks like train track symbols on a map !!!please have Grant call when he gets a chance. My prayers are with you.
Drake
- Saturday, April 19, 2003 1:14 AM CDT

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Dear Ones,

You must feel overwhelmed! Poor Hunter and Hayden, and of course everything is magnified for them, too! What a day! Hope the Easter Bunny leaves you brightly colored eggs filled with peace and chocolate :)
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Saturday, April 19, 2003 0:41 AM CDT

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Dear Haddock Family:
I just wanted to wish you all a happy Easter! I'm sure you miss Alexandria everyday, and holidays have to be even harder. We have never had the opportunity to meet, but I live close to the church. The other day I took the dog for a walk and went over by the cemetery, one of my neighbors lives behind it. She told me where Alexandria was buried, I walked over to it and started talking, then I started crying. I was overcome with emotion, such a precious little child taken away too soon. I lost a neighbor and friend last October to the terrible disease. He was almost 3 years old, I still think of him daily, just like I do Alexandria. We also go to the same church, I'm sure we will have the opportunity to meet one day. I just wanted you to know there are still so many people who still think of you daily. I pray that god continues to help you heal. I truly believe you will see your sweet baby again on day. Our time on earth is very short, but I'm sure it feels like a very long time to you right now. Wishing you the best always.

Connie
O'fallon, mo - Friday, April 18, 2003 4:36 PM CDT

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Those new photos are beautiful. I am praying God will carry you through this 1st Easter holiday as I pray he will carry you through each day. Love & prayers are being sent to your family this weekend.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Friday, April 18, 2003 2:29 PM CDT

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Alison - please know that you are in my thoughts daily, even though I don't write. My Melanie was looking through quilts on the Quilts of Love site and found Alexandria's beautiful quilt. She wanted to know why she had a white dove next to her name and I explained that she had died of cancer just a little while ago. Melanie now checks Alexandria's quilt every day and says a little prayer for her and your family, which I think is sweet. She talks about how much her mommy and daddy must miss her (which makes ME tear up). I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with us because it may help someone else 'trust their instincts' a little more regarding their child's treatment. We have had to make decisions regarding Melanie's treatment (she has T-ALL) and I'm still constantly second-guessing myself, even though Melanie is doing so well. I hope your family has a peaceful Easter, filled with wonderful memories of your girl. Take care,
Kathi (www.caringbridge.org/mi/melanie)
Cadillac, MI - Friday, April 18, 2003 1:15 PM CDT

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Stopping by to pray for you and wish your family a blessed Easter...
Elaine
St. Charles, - Friday, April 18, 2003 12:41 AM CDT

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Alison, Please know that I check your web site daily. I dont have time now to really write what I am feeling but I will soon. I also have alot of regrets and I just think that is part of the healing process. Even though we have never met I feel you are my friend. I also think the stats are way off. Would like to go into more detail but not now. I have to go clean my house I am having Easter here. Around 20 people. We are better when we are surrounded by people. Have a good holiday and know you are in my heart and prayers.
Ruth Trombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
- Friday, April 18, 2003 12:27 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
I know there is nothing I can say to make anything any better, but I can pray for you and all of your family. Your feelings are honest, uncensored and from the heart. They are YOUR feelings and you are justified to feel all that you write-you have lost your precious daughter, and most of us cannot even fathom what that feels like. There just are no words to make it all better or make it go away. I will continue to pray for all of you. May the hope and promise of the resurrection make your life worth living, knowing that Alexandria will one day LIVE AGAIN!
In Him,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester / St. Louis, MO - Friday, April 18, 2003 12:09 AM CDT

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Alison~

I just wanted to say that the Easter photos of Sissy are beautiful..from a little girl in her bunny t-shirt to a little lady in her Easter dress.

My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Friday, April 18, 2003 11:33 AM CDT

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Grant and Alison,

I've been away in Florida, with my son and his Navy ship, so I've not been here for a couple weeks. I just want you all to know that you are never far from my thoughts and always in my prayers.

I hope you have a nice Easter holiday!

Love and ((((((((HUGS)))))))))
Eva
- Friday, April 18, 2003 7:38 AM CDT

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I read every word of your latest journal entry and one phrase in particular struck me the most: "I know God has a plan, but... "

From everything I've ever read on this web site, I truly think you believe in your hearts the first part of that statement, that God has a plan, and you know there are no ifs, ands, or buts. He always knows what's best; it's just so darn difficult for us to understand because we can't see the whole picture like He can. He entrusted Alexandria in your care because He knew you would guard and protect her in every way possible and fill her life with love until He was ready to call her home and pick up where you left off. He left you with a hole ripped through your hearts, but He gave you many loving memories to help fill that void. And although life will never be the same, the joy of Easter gives us renewed hope in our lifes, for the power of resurrection reminds us that you will some day be rejoined with Alexandria and on that day it will be forever. May the anticipation of this "reunion" bring joy to you at Easter and always. God bless you!
Vickie
MN - Thursday, April 17, 2003 11:38 PM CDT

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I continue to prayer for your family. I come by often. I just don't leave messages. Alexandria will always be in my thoughts and have a place in my heart. I have followed her story for a long time. It just seems hard at times to realize that she is gone.
Anita
Sikeston, MO - Thursday, April 17, 2003 11:36 PM CDT

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Dear Ones,

As sure as I am that your emotions ebb and flow like the tides, I am also 100% certain that you made the proper decisions for Alexandria. You made the best decisions, based on the information and the emotions you had at precisely those moments! It is our human nature to question, "What if...?" and to wonder about the answers that could only come from The Divine. Different decisions may have shortened your time together, and rest assured, you would question those choices as well. Trust yourselves and have confidence that you made the best decisions for Alexandria when you came to those precious moments. Your love for her wouldn't allow you to do any less.

Constantly thinking of you.

In Celebration of The Resurrection,
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Thursday, April 17, 2003 11:22 PM CDT

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Your latest entry was heartbreaking. I can't imagine how painful the feeling of doubt and regret about how you handled your daughter's care must be for you. But I can offer a few words in hope that they will bring you some comfort-Every decision that you made was made in love and with your child's best interest at heart. You prayed hard, trusted those who were her caregivers (they are the experts) and fought for her dignity, comfort & pain management. You gave her your all, and she knew she was loved. Your family is a fine example of faith and love,
I could only hope to be even half as strong as you have been if faced with the same circumstances. I truly hope that you can find closure, I pray for all of you every day. Peace and blessings to you this Easter.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, April 17, 2003 10:45 PM CDT

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Hello, I know for a fact that sometimes we miss our lost child a lot more as time goes on, and some ways it gets easier too. I believe you did the very best you could for your little girl. try not to think of the what ifs....I pray daily that you are able to go on, not ever forget, but go on..... my thoughts are with you.
Sharon (mopgal) <mopgal@hotmail.com>
Dardanelle, ar - Thursday, April 17, 2003 10:04 PM CDT

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Alison and Grant: I, too, check in more often than I write. Your words, even your doubts, continue to inspire. It's totally normal to second guess and question, but please always remember that each time you made what you believed to be the best decision for Alexandria and her future. Your daughter knew your hearts, as does the Lord. She, you, and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Thursday, April 17, 2003 9:41 PM CDT

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Hi Haddock Family, It was good to see your post tonight Allison. I just love to read what you need to share with us. I think it's so healthy to be able to express your feelings as well as you do. And you are entitled to every feeling!
I pray that God surround you and your famliy with lots of love and healing. I pray that he ease your pain with time. Alexandria will be missed tremendously.
I do not know what it is like to lose a child, but I did lose my dad when I was 12, and the pain was so great that I suffered a great deal for many years. With lots of prayer and faith in God, I am making my way through life as best as I can, hoping to be a light for someone else in need. You are such a great light to many, that God will take care of you, especially in your great time of need.
Thank you again, for sharing life with us. May God bless you and your family, keeping you in the palm of his hand.
And may your precious Alexandria rest in peace.
Lynn
NY - Thursday, April 17, 2003 9:36 PM CDT

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Hello. Just checking in on your family. I check your site often and think about you. Your journal entries are so beautifully written. It is very obvious Alexandria had a wonderful family for her time here on Earth.

God Bless you.

Shiela
NY - Thursday, April 17, 2003 8:57 PM CDT

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Hi Haddock family,
Just popped in to check on all of you. Love the pics.
Glad you had a nice vacation. Just wanted you to know you're still in a lot of peoples thoughts and prayers even if we don't always get on line and say so.

Love to all

Billie Jo Eccardt <eccarbj@msn.com>
OLATHE, KANSAS - Thursday, April 17, 2003 5:32 PM CDT

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Alison: You have taken the words right out of my mouth today. Today is one year to the day Meghan was diagnosed. I refuse to say anniversary as that gives the idea of something good. I too am hating these firsts. I was in tears all day today and have been a wreck. I'm also dreading Easter, Meghan and Alexandria should be finding those hidden Easter eggs and getting lots of goodies from the Easter Bunny. This is so unfair. I understand so much of what you say. It is sad that as we grow farther away from the horrible days our children left us, friends seem to grow farther away as well. We too, have been told "you all are handling "this" so well".....What "this"???? Meghan's death???? No, we're not handling it well, we are simply having to go on with our lives and we will NEVER be the same, nor will anyone in our families. I actually had someone say, well she was only 2 1/2, it's not like losing an older child (who has been around longer)! HUH???? Oh, I see, THAT should make it better???? She was 2 1/2 so we weren't SO attached????? Sorry to vent on your page....just wanted to let you know there are other families out here who feel the same way you do. Please take care, and know I'm thinking about you and check Alexandria's site every day.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Thursday, April 17, 2003 5:24 PM CDT

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Hello, My name is Jessica and I am from Fairhope, AL! I have been keeping up with your website for a while now and just know that I am praying for you and your family! I am so sorry for your loss! I can not even imagine the pain you are going through! A little boy that I babysit has AML cancer His name is Austin Baker! Cancer is so aweful and it takes innocent lives! I agree that there are to many dying, 80% just does not match! I want to tell you about a christian music artist, his name is Jeremy Camp and he lost his wife to cancer. He said that the only way he has made it through this was God's faithfulness! I always hear how we as christians have to be the faithful ones, but God is to and He will get you and your family through this he is alway Faithful! I know its hard and it will be so very hard everyday b/c I too have lost someone very close to me! Just know that He is there and he will carry you through! I will continue to pray very hard for you and your family. May God give you strength!
Jessica Calhoun <Jc62285@cs.com>
Fairhope, AL usa - Thursday, April 17, 2003 5:02 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and hoping that you will get lots of extra hugs with this holiday weekend milestone approaching. I can't imagine how hard things are for you all. We care.
Dianne Roth <www.caringbridge.com/mo/jackiesjourney pjroth@bigrivertel.net>
Cape Girardeau, MO - Thursday, April 17, 2003 4:09 PM CDT

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Alison...you read my heart to a T today. Please know that there are some of us that understand 110%, we're living it too. I will be praying that The Lord gives you rest, that is so important for your mental well being. God bless you my angel Mom friend.
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) <www.caringbridge.org/il/legoman>
- Thursday, April 17, 2003 2:13 PM CDT

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Alison,
I find myself checking your website daily to see how you are doing. I always feel that if you haven't updated, that daily life must be keeping you busy and ok for the most part. I really wish that you wouldn't think about regrets. You are wonderful parents and did all that you could with the knowledge we currently have.

I know that every holiday, birthday, vacation, etc. will be flooded with memories of Alexandria for you. It has been over a year since Dan's brother Mark died and it seems that every day something will happen to bring back memories of Mark. His wife and two daughters are still having a very hard time with how suddenly he was taken from them. I can't even imagine the pain and memories you must experience when losing a child. We pray every day for your family. I hope that this Easter weekend brings you comfort in knowing that you will be with Alexandria again.

Love to you all,
Sally Forness <Forness2321@earthlink.net>
Ellisville, MO 63011 - Thursday, April 17, 2003 2:00 PM CDT

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Hi Alison. I am still thinking of you and your family every day. You all are still in our thoughts and prayers.
Amy Schroeder <mattamys@yahoo.com>
Eureka, MO - Thursday, April 17, 2003 1:30 PM CDT

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Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you daily. I for one, appreciate your honesty and truthfulness in your entries. I cry for you & the rest of your family each time I read your entry & my heart just aches for you & your husband and the kids, wishing there is some way to make it better for you, but I know that even time isn't really going to make it better. I do admire your strength to keep going for the other kids when it would be the first instinct to just climb into a dark hole & just cry...always. The pix of her on the beach are priceless!!!
E. Spratt <etspratt@aol.com>
Eureka , MO - Thursday, April 17, 2003 12:12 AM CDT

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Just stopping to let you know that I was here. I've had Alexandria on my mind alot during this holy week and I pray you all will be filled with God's grace and abundant love. God bless you all. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, il - Thursday, April 17, 2003 11:59 AM CDT

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Don't knock yourselves out too much about the decisions you made with regard to Alaxandria's health. You did the best that you could. That is all you could do. You are right about "after the funeral" as time goes on the missing one is missed even more. :( You all are strong - and please update your pictures! I stop by every week to look at your beautiful photos of Alexandria!
Elizabeth
- Thursday, April 17, 2003 11:53 AM CDT

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Funny how Target and Dairy Queen are my favorite places too. I know that no words can make you feel better about the decisions you made with Alexandria- it's human nature to doubt, especially with the monumental decisions you had to make for your daughter. My parents still rehash the decisions they made for my brother and go over the what ifs, wishing they could have known the perfect course for his treatment- and that started 10 years ago. Just know that you gave her such a wonderful life and she knew such incredible love, and you received it 100 fold back from her. We think about you all of the time- I know every day is a challenge. take care-
the Day family <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Thursday, April 17, 2003 10:02 AM CDT

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Dear Haddock's,
I continue to check on you through the website, and I have enjoyed seeing the many pictures of Alexandria and the family. There are many people at our church who continue to ask about you and visit your website. We are all praying for you. I am thankful that you have happy days and friends and family who care so much for you. What a blessing.
Grace and Peace,
Kristy
St. Mark Presbyterian Church
Ballwin, MO 63011 - Thursday, April 17, 2003 9:55 AM CDT

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Allison and Grant-

I know there are not enough words or actions to take away the regrets that you feel daily regarding the decisions you made with Alexandria. That is something that will take time and only can be healed by God. Through him you will find peace and the answers you are seeking. I also know that is easier said than done!!! AND WHEN!!! I feel so lucky to be able to call you "FRIEND" Allison and know I will help in anyway I can. Just a phone call away. Alexandria is watching over all of you and is so proud of her family!!! As for the SICKO out there using CARINGBRIDGE for profit may GOD help you!!! Such a wonderful site for families to help each other and you have to be such a creep. Think about it!!! Sorry Allison but I had to get that off my chest!! Talk to you soon!!

God Bless you all,
dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
o'fallon, mo usa - Thursday, April 17, 2003 9:42 AM CDT

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Precious Haddock Family,
Please know that my family still prays for yours daily. We pray that each day your pain eases somewhat, but that appears it will be a long time coming. Most of us can not fathom what you are going through on a daily basis, but your journals are beautifully written each and everytime and we all feel some of what you are all feeling!! Thank you for keeping up with it, for all of us who are not close by to see how your family is doing. God Bless you all
Love,
Karen
Karen Smith
Ballwin, - Thursday, April 17, 2003 9:27 AM CDT

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Alison, I was stopping by again to see how you and the family are doing.As always your journal entries are so wonderful, You should write a book about your experiences, you truly have a gift. I think of you guys all the time. Alexandria touched my life in a special way. I never got to meet her, but she was so amazing I could just tell. Take care and we will always continue checking on you ! when things get hard with Amanda and her Leukemia, I often think of things you said while Alexandria was going through treatment, you have helped me alot through your words. Thank you!
Tonya <www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
- Thursday, April 17, 2003 9:26 AM CDT

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I'm thinking of you each and every day. As I sit here at work, I continually check your website for updates. Keep Alexandria alive...never forget. Praying for you,
Connie Gross <cgross@erac.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Thursday, April 17, 2003 8:55 AM CDT

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Checking on you each day...... Praying for your family and thinking of you often.
Tammy
Birmingham, AL - Thursday, April 17, 2003 8:44 AM CDT

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You will never forget your "sissy". I am continually praying for you and your family.
Friend in Christ
- Thursday, April 17, 2003 8:39 AM CDT

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I am really not sure what I want to say here. I stumbled upon your page quiet some time ago, by accident I think..and shed many a tear reading about Alexandra's struggle and your families.One thing that struck me was your close sense of family which is SO important. You sound like you are blessed with a wonderful loving family like me. I guess what compeled me to write eventually was the aftermath of it. I know that sounds cruel to describe it that way. My intentions are heartfelt though. More a acknowledgement about what you're feeling now, the questioning of past decisions IS ok, the questioning of "where is eveyone now"?...it is part of the grieving process..I think people don't know how to "handle it" and the grieving are guitly of saying " I am fine"..when in reality they are not, as they are trying to sort out "what" they are feeling and just "plain" tired. I guess what I want to say is eventually there comes a time, a pivotal moment when the numbness wears off so to speak...just a moment when it "finally" strikes you that they are not here physically and that is an incredable moment of realization and almost a relief. Mine for me was coming home when I was 14, 6 months after my father had died...and getting excited because his car was in the driveway, for a moment I got excited because I thought he was home early from work!...For ONE moment at that time I forgot he was gone..and then it hit me....it wasn't a horrible moment...just confronting! After that time, I was almost struck into a reality. I don't know how to quiet express it!..I am the same age as you. I have never been blessed with beautiful babies. I have 4 beautiful babies (nieces) I call my own). I don't know if the feelings are the same?.And I should not assume you will ever feel the same...but I hope this brings you a little comfort. I lost my father when I was 14 after 10 years of illness and my mother by the time I was 21, although her illness, which was cancer was quick and she died within 6 weeks of illness. I lost my partner of 10 years suddenly to an asthma attack 4 years ago. I don't want this be a citation of misery..Just an affirmation that in the horror of this, is true beauty! The beauty of memories, that you can look back and talk about the people you loved with fondness. Eventually after time, those memories of pain, tears and suffering..all those horrible memories of ill moments..which you will never forget fade...not forever..but the wonderful memories outway the sad..you will eventually laugh and when you think of your precious Alexandra you will think of her with a big grin. You will talk about her with all the love and happiness you have for her. You may still cry 10,15,20 years down the track..in fact in for your whole life time..but they will be happy tears of joy!....


I guess I wanted to say was hang in there!

Always thinking about your precious family!


Jules xxx
Jules
Melbourne, Vic Australia - Thursday, April 17, 2003 7:55 AM CDT

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Hi Alison, Grant and kids, Prayers continue for all of you. I confess I've been lurking lately. Please never, ever doubt your decisions about Alexandria's treatment. As you have said so many times, "God has a plan" and He is in charge. Although we sometimes don't understand that plan, it is His and, no matter what we do, we mortals cannot change it.

Ms. Pam
Wildwood, MO USA - Thursday, April 17, 2003 7:49 AM CDT

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Thinking of you today...
Paula
Chesterfield, MO - Wednesday, April 16, 2003 7:20 PM CDT

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Thinking of and praying for you and your family today...
Elaine Riazi
St. Charles, - Wednesday, April 16, 2003 12:15 AM CDT

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I simply do not have any words after reading your last journal entry. I have three little girls and cannot begin to imagine the pain you feel. All I can offer are my prayers. I hope you find comfort in the memories of your sweet little girl, and in the love of each other. God bless each of you.
Christi Hamilton <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Wednesday, April 16, 2003 10:22 AM CDT

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Hello HAddocks, you've been on my mind and in my prayers. Please continue looking forward to the lives of Hunter, Hayden and Addison, their happiness is your future. Seek comfort in their smiles and laughter. I 'm glad you are going to attend counseling. You will all benefit!!
Sharyn Duncan
- Tuesday, April 15, 2003 5:40 PM CDT

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I am sure that the Easter milestone will be difficult for you all. Thanks for updating on how you are getting by. I'm sure you're having every feeling in the book in trying to coexist with this. We care ALOT. I'll be checking back with you. And If you ever need a friend, please know that I am here.
D. Roth <www.caringbridge.com/mo/jackiesjourney pjroth@bigrivertel.net>
Cape, MO - Monday, April 14, 2003 4:06 PM CDT

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Just stopping by to check in and let you know that you continue to be in my prayers each day. Love you Alexandria...you have inspired me so much!! God bless you all. With big hugs and love
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Monday, April 14, 2003 10:45 AM CDT

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Happy Easter in Heaven Sweet Alexandria....
Love, Kim


~KODYS STORY~
- Monday, April 14, 2003 9:59 AM CDT

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Alison and Grant,
Just stopping by to let you know that I am thinking about you. Hope you enjoyed the beautiful weekend. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,

Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon , MO - Sunday, April 13, 2003 8:03 PM CDT

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We think about you and pray for you all the time. Glad you were able to get away. Time will help heal some of the pain. Take Care, Cat
Cat Borkowski
- Saturday, April 12, 2003 7:17 AM CDT

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The beautiful words out of Alexandria's GREAT-GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S Scrapbook, are a treasure that I will always keep nearby. We miss you Angel Alexandria

Brenda Lane <lanebs@earthlink.net>
Burns, TN - Friday, April 11, 2003 10:23 PM CDT

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Alison, I just got an email from you but it was deleted because it said a virus was attached to it. My husband said that even though you might have not sent an email to me the virus could have attached itself to your email and been sent to me. I guess what I am is asking is did you send me an email. I want to respond to it if you did. I did not get it if you did it was wiped out by my virus scan. These computers are so complicated.
I hope you are doing ok. I know the days are very tough. It sounds like you are coping well. We are too. My other son really keeps us going. We thank God for him. Just know that I think about you all the time. I will continue to pray for your family.
Ruth Trombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
Westerly , - Friday, April 11, 2003 1:34 PM CDT

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I just read your last journal entry and wonder what to say or could possibly offer to do for you. All I can say is I WILL PRAY (KEEP PRAYING).
Thom Shoemaker <thomas.shoemaker@direcway.com>
o'fallon, mo usa - Friday, April 11, 2003 8:17 AM CDT

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Dear Haddocks: I just saw the new pictures. Beautiful.
Carl
- Friday, April 11, 2003 7:21 AM CDT

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Alison & Grant,
My heart goes out to you and your family. I cannot even imagine going thru what you are. I greatly admire your strength and faith and hope that, together, you and your family will find peace. God works in mysterious ways that sometimes we don't understand or agree with, but, I guess being that He is God, he must know more than we. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers and will try to be as strong in my faith as you guys have been and continue to be.

Sincerely,
Cindy
Cindy Murphy <cnmurphy71@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, April 10, 2003 8:31 PM CDT

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So glad you returned home safely. Grant putting the videos & pictures by the door is so sweet & heart wrenching. I pray that grief counseling will help deal with the pain. Praying also that you will start sleeping better. I can not imagine how people get through the day without the strength of God to lean on. Take care of each other.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Thursday, April 10, 2003 4:34 PM CDT

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Dear Alison & Grant,
I do believe that Alexandria is surrounded by many, many friends!! I feel in my heart that her days are filled with love and laughter and most of all painfree!!! PTL!!! I also feel that her beautiful,kind, and charming personality is captured within both of you!! She will always be a part of you... and that will never change!! Alexandria is so lucky to have such great parents that filled her life with such love and comfort!
I'm so blessed to have such special friends,
Nancy
Nancy Cole
- Thursday, April 10, 2003 1:37 PM CDT

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Grant & Alison,

We are glad you were able to get some enjoyment from your much needed vacation. Sounds like the beach was wonderful! We used to live an hour from the beach and that is one thing we miss. We used to sit there and watch the waves go back and forth and think of what an awesome Creator we have that he could make the sea do that. You are still in our prayers daily. You are such a very special family!

Love,
John & Johnelle Rhines www.caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, April 10, 2003 9:39 AM CDT

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Your family and your Alexandria will always occupy a special place in my heart. I am praying for your continued strength, comfort, healing and peace. Your trip to the beach sounds great!
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Thursday, April 10, 2003 2:10 AM CDT

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Allison: What can we say except that Alexandria and your family remain in our thoughts and prayers. May you ever feel the Lord's loving embrace, and may He bring you as well His healing grace.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Thursday, April 10, 2003 0:41 AM CDT

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Allison,
So good to hear from you .. I have missed seeing your daily journals, but do understand. Warmer weather is almost here, honest! I continue to pray for you all :)
Love, Mrs. Scott
- Wednesday, April 9, 2003 11:58 PM CDT

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Alison, I have been thinking of you a lot lately, and I don't even know you. I guess I was thinking of the upcoming holiday and how difficult holidays are when we are missing someone from our lives. I just wanted you to know that I do check on you online from time to time and you and your family remain in my prayers.

I'm glad you all got a chance to get away, and you're right, this weather stinks. :)
Michelle Farmer
Wildwood, - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 11:56 PM CDT

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Dear Haddock Family,
I still pray for your family often and wish for healing of your broken hearts.
Tracey
Ballwin, - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 11:54 PM CDT

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Welcome home!!
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 10:54 PM CDT

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Dear Alison & Grant,
I'm so glad you all had the chance to get away for a break - the beach always does wonders for my frame of mind - someday before I die I'm determined to have a "place at the beach". A large glass of Chardonnay (preferably nothing too cheap) works great for sleep problems - of course 2 or 3 glasses can really shoot your evening, but I guarantee you sleep! Take care and welcome home.
Pat <thehunters@semo.net>
Dexter, MO - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 9:21 PM CDT

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Alison: I think about you all alot and check your site often. I'm glad you had a nice time here in Florida. You're all in my prayers. Hang in there. Meghan and Alexandria are playing in the sunshine :)
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 7:40 PM CDT

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I just love reading your journals. Sometimes when we are outside with the kids, we are so distracted that I don't always get to hear all your thoughts and prayers. I love to hear what the kids say at night and their sweet thoughts.
Once again, thank you for sharing your thoughts, heart and lives with all of us.
Lots of love,
Tracey
Tracey Mazur
- Wednesday, April 9, 2003 3:04 PM CDT

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Haven't signed in for a while, but I've been checking every day. Glad you had a good vacation - I'm sure Alexandria was right there with you the whole time. God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 2:16 PM CDT

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Alison,

We're so glad that you had a nice vacation and hopefully we're seeing the last of the cold weather. We miss you guys so much in the neighborhood. We all are praying for you daily. Come and see us when you can!
Love, Dan, Sally, Tommy and Emma Forness <Forness2321@earthlink.net>
Ellisville, MO USA - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 2:09 PM CDT

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I'm glad to hear you had a good vacation. Please know that you are at the forefront of my thoughts and prayers on a continuous basis. I love you guys. Blessings to you!
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 1:16 PM CDT

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IN LOVING MEMORY OF ALEXANDRIA NICOLE HADDOCK WHO DEPARTED THIS LIFE FEBRUARY 16, 2003
"SAFE IN THE KEEPING OF GOD"
I AM AT HOME IN HEAVEN, DEAR ONES,
OH! SO HAPPY AND OH! SO BRIGHT;
THERE IS PERFECT JOY AND BEAUTY
IN THIS EVERLASTING LIGHT.

ALL THE PAIN AND GRIEF ARE OVER;
EVERY RESTLESS TOSSING PASSED:
I AM NOW AT PEACE FOREVER,
SAFELY HOME IN HEAVEN AT LAST.

DID YOU WONDER I SO CALMLY
TROD THE VALLEY OF THE SHADE?
AH!MY JESUS'LOVE ILLUMINED
EVERY DARK AND FEARFUL GLADE.

AND HE CAME HIMSELF TO MEET ME,
IN THAT WAY SO HARD TO TREAD;
AND WITH JESUS'ARM TO LEAN ON
COULD I HAVE ONE DOUBT OR DREAD"

DEAR ONE, DO NOT GRIEVE SO SORELY,
FOR I LOVE YOU DEARLY STILL;
TRY TO LOOK BEYOND EARTH'S SHADOWS
PRAY TO TRUST OUR FATHER'S WILL.

THERE IS WORK STILL WAITING FOR YOU.
SO YOOU MUST NOT IDLY STAND.
DO IT WHILE LIFE REMAINETH,
YOU SHALL REST IN JEASUS' LAND.

WHEN YOUR WORK IS ALL COMPLETER,
HE WILL GENTLY CALL YOU HOME.
OH!THE RAPTURE OF THATA MEETING,
OH!THE JOY TO SEE YOU COME.

THIS IS TAKEN FROM ALEXANDRIA'S GREAT-GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S SCRAPBOOK.

MEMAW & PAWPAW <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
Bonne Terre, MO ST FRANCOIS - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 12:14 AM CDT

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Dear Alison,
It was good to see an update and to hear how you are all doing. I will continue to lift all of you up with "good 'ol fashioned" prayer.
Debbie Nagy
Manchester/St. Louis, MO - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 12:13 AM CDT

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Allison and Grant and family,
Continue to pray that God folds you in his arms and helps you get through the days without Alexandria.
Alice-Aunt to Angel Janie <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 12:12 AM CDT

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Alison,
I'm so glad for the update.......I've missed you!! I'm glad that you enjoyed your beach time. I think the calm of the water and the warmth are sometimes good medicine for our souls. I love the stories of Alexandria, I miss her, so I can't imagine how you all feel. I love hearing what the kids say. What awesome prayers!! For now, I think good 'ol fashioned prayers will work just fine. Straight to the "man in charge" and I know He is listening to each one. I picture Alexandria so happy and running with all the other kids. You are so right Alison, someday you will all be together again. Can you picture the smile on her face when she greets you......what a wonderful day that will be. Until then, may the Lord bless and keep you all. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 9:56 AM CDT

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Dear Haddocks- I know the cemetary is so hard- sometimes it's easier emotionally to stay away at times. I'm so glad you had a good time on vacation- your kids must have loved it. I know Alexandria will come to you in your dreams soon. Take care and try Benadryl for sleeping- it really helps. love-
the Day family <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 7:32 AM CDT

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Dear Haddock's I still check in each day to see how you are doing and see if there is any new updates. Even if there is not, I say a prayer for you as I leave your page and remember that sweet girl of yours. The one who is now in perfect peace with our Lord.
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy)caringbridge.org/mo/kristangrace
- Tuesday, April 8, 2003 11:15 PM CDT

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Dear Allison, I haven't signed the guestbook in a long time, but I come to this site to read your posts. I have to tell you, I just love reading about your life experiences. You are an inspiration to so many, that you truly feed the souls of others. How ironic, you're the one in so much pain and grief, and yet when you share that with all of us, you are sharing God's love and it really is so comforting. Thank you again, for being so open, so vunerable, and just know how many people you are healing through your own pain and suffering.
Lynn
NY - Tuesday, April 8, 2003 8:05 PM CDT

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We were glad to see that you made it home safely. You continue to be in our prayers.
Kevin and Kristen Bly
O'Fallon, MO - Tuesday, April 8, 2003 7:20 PM CDT

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Dear Alison and family,
Continuing to pray for you all.
The Sheats Family
Springboro, OH - Tuesday, April 8, 2003 5:52 PM CDT

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DEAR FAMILY, JUST A SHORT NOT TO TELL YOU THAT I THINK ABOUT ALEXANDRIA AND LOVE HER EVERY DAY. I MISS HER SO MUCH. YOU ARE IN OUR PRAYERS, MEMAW & PAWPAW
noel <NOEL_718@MSN.COM>
bonne terre, MO ST FRANCOIS - Monday, April 7, 2003 4:34 PM CDT

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Dear Haddocks: My chest still aches everytime I recall Alexandria and your ordeal. However, I force myself to think of it all regularly in order that I do not forget the lessons Alexandria taught me. Still praying for you.
Carl
- Monday, April 7, 2003 10:55 AM CDT

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Still praying for you all in Westerville, OH.
Kelley Johnson
Westerville, OH Franklin - Sunday, April 6, 2003 8:59 PM CDT

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Dear Haddock family,
I am continuing to remember all of you in prayer during this season of Lent. May the Easter day that is ahead give you comfort, strength and great hope in the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is through His resurrection that your beautiful, sweet Alexandria still lives.

In Him,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester/St. Louis, MO - Sunday, April 6, 2003 8:54 PM CDT

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You always amaze me with your lessons on life. I am so glad you are at the beach. What an incredible story about meeting the other mother. God works in mysterious ways. We think about you often. I always say a special prayer for all of you at church. Love, Cat
Cat Borkowski
- Sunday, April 6, 2003 6:55 AM CDT

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I wish you strength to get through this. You are correct- the caringbridge sites are therapeutic! My son just turned six and he is going blind. There is nothing they can do for him- his disease has no cure. Good luck- may God watch over you- and give you the feelings of peace and knowledge that you will see your beautiful child again, in Heaven. Take care, Laura
www.caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Saturday, April 5, 2003 9:32 AM CST

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Alison.. What a Hoot you and all your Girls in the Hood are. I had fun sharing laughs with you last night. It was nice to finally meet you. Nancy, Tara, Tammy, Kim , etc. are lucky to have you and - you them! Thanks Girls - for having me! Love, Lisa
Lisa Schwartz
- Saturday, April 5, 2003 8:50 AM CST

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Still praying.
Roger and Mariah <rpkmrkia@aol.com>
Dittmer, MO USA - Thursday, April 3, 2003 8:33 PM CST

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Hi all,
I hope you are enjoying fun in the sun. Hunter's 8 !!! WOW what a big guy ,huh? Thank you again and again for being "real " with all of your feelings. Have a safe trip home , you kinda have your own personal guardian angel now :0 ). Be blessed,
Danette
Danette Prater www.caringbridge.com/tx/jacobprater <jakesmom@wt.net>
Santa Fe , Tx - Thursday, April 3, 2003 7:22 PM CST

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The courage you have shown writing about your pain was like reading about my own life. Everything you said, down to going to the market and going past the cookie department, hit hard. Our story is in the book Earth Angels. I lost my only son, Jason in 1996. It is 2003 now and I've become involved in making quilts for children with life threatening illnesses. Quilting and sleeping have been my only comfort from the searing pain of my loss still to this day. Jason was my entire world. Just reading that someone else has the same feelings, that could only come from deep inside, where you cry with no sound, has helped me today. Thank you. If you would like to visit my website, please feel free to go to www.tmearthangels.org Turn the volume up. e-mail me anytime.
Susie Wright <writype@lightspeed.net>
Tehachapi, CA US - Thursday, April 3, 2003 3:38 PM CST

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I will be praying for you and your family.
Shelly Hammett
Louisville, KY - Thursday, April 3, 2003 2:07 PM CST

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Thanks for giving us each a "day at the beach"! You are still in my prayers alot!

Elaine R
St Charles, MO - Thursday, April 3, 2003 11:49 AM CST

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Thinking of you all...
XXOO
Chanda & Jake
- Thursday, April 3, 2003 8:08 AM CST

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My late mother and I used to speak on the phone every day, and the calls weren't short. I got call waiting so that others could reach me during the marathon conversations. When Mom died, I cancelled the service and decided to be honest when the salesperson asked why. I explained that I wouldn't be on the phone for 2 hours straight every day since my mother had died. Well, this woman had lost her mom too and talked to me for the longest time. I felt better having shared my story with her and she helped me a lot. They might look like regular folks but these angels are here to help us with our pain. And we might get to be angels for somebody else some day. Not any kind of consolation for your loss, but the tiniest of silver linings.

I've been thinking of you and wish you peace.
Jennifer
Pittsburgh, PA - Wednesday, April 2, 2003 11:57 PM CST

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I often wonder why we live in Indiana for the same reasons. We just got back from the beach as well, and I wonder why we don't live there. I hope your trip was therapuetic, restful ( although with kids I know it's not- or at least my trip wasn't : )) and a welcome break from this rotten winter. I know that Alexandria is always, always, always in your thoughts, no matter whether you are having a good time, or thinking about life without her. She will always be in the framework of your life, and I'm sure she knows it too. Take care of yourselves-

the Day family
Fishers, IN - Wednesday, April 2, 2003 3:58 PM CST

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Hello Haddocks. Hope you are using plenty of sunscreen! Enjoy your vacation. With many thoughts and prayers,
The Erusha Family
Ellisville, MO - Wednesday, April 2, 2003 12:16 AM CST

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Hi Haddocks - Hope you are enjoying your vacation. Grant I will talk to you when you get back.
Scott Vena <forchiefs@aol.com>
Overland Park, KS - Wednesday, April 2, 2003 9:35 AM CST

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Happy birthday, Hunter, even if it is a little late. Hope it was a special one for you and the entire family and that you had a great visit with your cousins. Two of my cousins really liked visiting an alligator farm in a local park when they were your age. That wasn't my favorite way to spend an afternoon, in fact, that wasn't anybody else's favorite thing to do, but we did take turns picking what to do. What would you and the rest of the kids think about going to see alligators?
Alison: Know that Alexandria and your family remain in our thoughts and prayers.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Tuesday, April 1, 2003 9:52 PM CST

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Hello Haddocks!!! I am so glad to hear you were able to go on a much needed vacation & that you are having a wonderful time. It is so moving to see God continue to work in your life & send angels when you least expect them. I have to agree with Nancy though--what were you thinking with the non-waterproof mascara?! I pray that your vacation brings much joy to the whole family.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNTER!!!
The Pyle Family
Ellisville, MO - Tuesday, April 1, 2003 9:44 PM CST

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Dear Haddock Family,

We are so happy that you went on a much needed vacation. We just returned from Clearwater, FL visiting Dan's family for Spring Break. We hope that you all return refreshed and happy. You're always in our thoughts and prayers.

With Love,
Sally, Dan, Tommy and Emma Forness <Forness2321@earthlink.net>
Ellisville, MO USA - Tuesday, April 1, 2003 1:10 PM CST

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Dear Ones,

Let's hear it for that lovely lady at Wal-Mart!!! You never know when an Angel will appear, you just have to be open to experience God's Gentle Hand. Sounds like Spring Break had the makings of even more fun memories! You will be happy to know that the Sales Dept. ;) arranged for snow flurries across Misery, Saturday, while you were enjoying the sun and sand!

Here's to hoping your smiles come closer together...
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Monday, March 31, 2003 10:58 PM CST

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Dear Haddocks,
Hope you enjoy your vacation at the beach and have a safe trip back... Happy Birthday Hunter!
Nancy
Nancy Dalton
Wildwood, mo - Monday, March 31, 2003 9:52 PM CST

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Wow! What a beautiful message. Thanks for sharing the highs and the lows. You find a way to make me laugh and cry at the same time and appreciate my own children and relationships in a new way. May Peace continue to be with you all. Enjoy that beautiful sunshine and all the beautiful memories!
Dawn M
Wake Forest , NC - Monday, March 31, 2003 9:23 PM CST

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Dear ALison,
I live in wildwood ,mo.
I pray for the children on caringbridge and have for a couple of years now, every since I found the web site.
I was reading the site from Gooch's mom and clicked on the very first angel name and here you are, just a few miles from where my husband and I live. We moved here 11 years ago from Memphis and have been to Ocean Springs,ms a couple of times on vacation. I know just what you mean about the ocean there and will pray for your memories of your daughter will only bring you comfort and hope of heaven for all of us and our children someday. Yes, God does answer prayers and in ways we will never understand until we GO HOME>
Praying for all your children, you and your husband and will put your address in my fav. and will watch for new pictures of your beautiful family.
In Christ,
Bonnie PRince

Bonnie Prince
wildwood,, - Monday, March 31, 2003 9:19 PM CST

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Dearest Haddock Bunch,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HUNTER!!! Hope you had a great celebration party at the beach!! Alison it was so great to hear from you this morning, I really miss you!! I am so glad you are having some relaxing moments!! I bet the kids are having a great time, I really miss them as well! The plants look good and green!!
The cats are good, too!! Bailey and the Cole Family have become good buddies, well for Britney, forget it!!!!!!
SO SORRY ALEXANDRIA... YOU KNOW WE HAVE TRIED!!!!!!!!!
We now have a new name for her crabby catty!!!!!!!!!!!
My question to you Alison, is, I can't believe you were not wearing waterproof mascara??? What's up with that?? I now wear it everyday, you never know what will come up!!
Have a great week, relax and enjoy the beautiful beach!!
Reminds me of "I HOPE YOU DANCE"!!
WE MISS YOU ALL,
Love from the Cole Family
Nancy Cole
- Monday, March 31, 2003 5:15 PM CST

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Dear Alison - Thank you for the updates! I look forward to your daily words of encouragement. I'm glad you got to go out and if the word fits..."relax". Take care and I'm praying for you and your family.
Connie Gross
St. Louis, MO - Monday, March 31, 2003 3:52 PM CST

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Dear Alison, So glad you got away and had a change of scenery. You sound better and hopefully are getting some much needed rest. These last couple of years could have easily pulled your marriage apart. The opposite has happened for you and Grant. I hold my own children closer than ever in rememberance of your Alexandria. We continue to pray for you all.
Jane and Doug Sheats
Springboro, OH - Monday, March 31, 2003 10:31 AM CST

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Allison,
Thanks for the vacation update! I am thankful you are staying strong. All of the firsts without our loved ones seem to be the hardest. It never gets that much easier, I guess, but a little.
March 30th our family of 5 was celebrating our youngest child, John's, 5th birthday. We are also headed to Destin in two weeks and I look forward to those beautiful, peaceful days. Praying for you--
Amanda Adams <bafive@bellsouth.net>
Birmingham, AL - Monday, March 31, 2003 10:01 AM CST

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A very Happy Birthday to Hunter! Allison, you are so gracious to continue to share your journey with us. I'm sure it isn't easy, but know that we are all here pulling and praying for your family. God bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, March 31, 2003 7:50 AM CST

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Dear Alison,
How wonderful you are to update the journal on vacation for the many of us that continue to check on you and your family. I do hope it does help you to write in it about your feelings and Alexandria. Even though I know speaking to and seeing the lady in Wal-Mart that had lost her daughter almost 20 years ago does not lessen your pain, I do hope it will continue to give you hope. Even though I am sure there are many days you just want to be in heaven with Alexandria, your life must go on for Grant and the children. I will continue to pray for all of you in the days, weeks and months ahead. God bless you always for your tremendous faith and love.
In Him,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Sunday, March 30, 2003 10:55 PM CST

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It's like I was reading about my own thoughts, my own feelings. How you're always thinking about her, how the sunset somehow was the sign from above, from her. How you worry about your husband being alone and sad. How not having him there leaves you lonely and sad wondering if you can face the day alone. How leaving the house somehow makes it feel as if you are leaving her behind.... The pure joy of thinking of your daughter doing all she ever wanted to do - without the Broviac - and the comfort that gives. The sadness of not having her there yet the confidence knowing you will survive - will be better, will live and love more because of her. My Anna Rebecca earned her angel wings at 9:55 a.m. on Tuesday, March 4 2003. Thank you for your beautiful words, they gave me great comfort tonight.
Much love,
Karin, Anna's mom
Karin VanSickle <olssonka@yahoo.com, www.annavansickle.com>
Fenton, MO - Sunday, March 30, 2003 8:28 PM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNTER!!!!!!
We hope Hunter is having a terrific birthday. What a treat to celebrate it on the beach. We are missing you here in the neighborhood. It was good to hear you are enjoying some much needed personal family time. We, too, have been visiting Sissy's gravesite. Kelsey says it makes her feel closer to Alexandria. I also know exactly how you feel when you are on the beach and wondering, "why are we not living here?". It seems like every time Dave and I come back from a trip to Florida we are dreaming of a life closer to the ocean. Then, we get home and settle in and remember the reasons we are here, Family, friends, church, schools, and the family oriented community. (plus, the cost of living is awesome!!). However, if we could just move all of that there (cost of living included) it would be great. Anyway, we all can't wait for your safe return home. Hugs and kisses to you all. Your friend, Tammy
Tammy Whalen <dtkmdwhalen@cs.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Sunday, March 30, 2003 7:44 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks!!!

For starters tell Hunter we said "Happy Birthday"!!! Wow 8!! What a great way to celebrate your birthday in Florida!!!!Those of us back here in "Misery" miss you guys!!Enjoy every moment together with each other during this trip. Can't wait for you to get back. Miss seeing you at church and on Wednesday nights!! Talk to you soon.

God bless you and have a very safe trip home,

dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
o'fallon, mo usa - Sunday, March 30, 2003 7:00 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Hunter!!! I am so happy you are with your family. I feel like the beach is a place to sit and reflect. It is so calming and refreshing. I missed you so much last week week when I was away and it is too quiet here without your family. I will try and hold down the fort here until you get back and I will check on Alexandria everyday for you!!
We love and miss you all and enjoy every minute of your vacation.
Love,
Tracey
Tracey Mazur
- Sunday, March 30, 2003 4:10 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Hunter!

Alison, I am so happy that you all have made it to your vacation spot. How awesome how God works! Just as you stood in line and prayed for strength, there he was in Mississippi SuperWal-Mart embracing you in his most wonderful amrms.

You and your family are truly blessed! The Lord continues to guide you all through each and every day!

Here is a song we sang in Church this morning:
I am so glad that Jesus lifted me,
I am so glad that Jesus lifted me,
I am so glad that Jesus lifted me,
Glory, Hallejhua, Jesus lifted me!

Just singing this chorus makes me smile. He has lifted you and Grant and all the children. Even Alexandria. He has lifted her to his wonderful home above with no more earthly troubles.

I continue to pray for you all each day. I hope that you enjoy your vacation. And have fun with Hunter's Beach Party!

God Bless Always!

Erin Turner <sandeturner@semo.net>
Ellsinore, MO - Sunday, March 30, 2003 3:48 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Hunter!!!!!
Glad the weather cooperated and that everyone is enjoying the beach.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Alice-aunt to angel Janie <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Sunday, March 30, 2003 1:45 PM CST

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You are an amazing source of strength and Alexandria is a wonderful story of beauty and inspiration. I still enjoy checking your website from afar to see how you are doing. God will richly bless you and help you through the difficult days; I'm so happy to read that you're allowing yourself to have some fun with your family. You so greatly deserve that.
Vickie
MN - Sunday, March 30, 2003 11:51 AM CST

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Allison;

We've been thinking of you and your family. I can't imagine how you're feeling, but I know it coexist with all that's happened and all of life's milestones to come, has got to be very difficult. Please be OK. I'm glad you all got to visit your sister at the beach. Let the fact that an out of state store clerk offering a bond, some humanity and supportive comments show that wherever you go, you will have universal support to help you and your family continue on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Love and prayers, Dianne Roth
D. Roth <pjroth@bigrivertel.net www.caringbridge.org/mo/jackiesjourney>
Cape Girardeau, MO - Sunday, March 30, 2003 10:37 AM CST

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Haddocks, Glad to hear you are having a nice time. Again, I just wanted to let you know how much we think about you. Hey, give us a big wave when you pass by on the way home. I am always passing by your old house here, because we have some friends that live in your old neighborhood. I hope you can find the strength to enjoy the rest of your stay. And Have A Happy Birthday Hunter!!! By the way... it is windy, and COOOOLLDDDD here.
Sharyn Duncan
- Sunday, March 30, 2003 8:57 AM CST

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H**A**P**P**Y~~~~~B**I**R**T**H**D**A**Y
~~~~~~~~~~~~~H**U*N**T**E**R~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoy your vacation time! This is a well deserved vacation!!

Thinking of you often..

Sending love and prayers,

Eva <KWfan4ever@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, March 29, 2003 9:38 PM CST

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Dear Haddock Family,
The Healy's continue to pray for you and your family. Your sister Michele is in the gym often, and I still see the pain in her face. She is such a great gal. I consider her a friend at the gym and it always makes my day when she comes in. She loves you guys so much, and after reading your journal all these months, I can see why. You are a wonder family. I feel so bad over your loss. When my daughter Molly was diagnosed with Leukemia, I felt God all around me. I recieved gifts that I didn't know existed.
After things "settled down" a bit, I was afraid that I would "forget" the magic of his presence. It is so easy to feel near Him when in trouble. I prayed to God to not let me "lose" that feeling EVER.
I want you to know that reading your journal, hearing stories about Alexandria, and meeting your sister, have kept me "on track". These gifts remain precious through the strength and faith you all have relayed to us.
Thank You Alison, and Thank You Alexandria.

Eileen Healy
Waldwick, NJ USA - Saturday, March 29, 2003 3:22 PM CST

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Just wanted to let you know that I still check in daily and will continue to. We are doing ok. The hole is still there and I am sure it always will be but some days are now easier than others. Never like they were. I long for our old life, but I know that will never be again so I have to accept life the way it is now and make the best of it.
Ruth Trombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
- Friday, March 28, 2003 10:58 PM CST

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I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my 9 year old daughter this past summer. I know the pain you are feeling. Please know that you will be in my prayers. I pray that the Lord will fill you with peace and heal your broken heart. Remember that she is in a wonderful place, safe in the arms of Jesus...and we will all be reunited one day with our little princesses. Trust in the Lord and seek His strength when you feel you have none! He will lift you up and carry you through the hardest times. That is a PROMISE!!

God bless you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Yvonne Fernandez http://www.caringbridge.org/nc/leilani <yvonnengzs@rjia.net>
Mount Airy, NC USA - Friday, March 28, 2003 7:58 PM CST

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Grant,
Thinking of you and your beautiful family. I hope you guys are having a wonderful vacation. Alison I miss reading your entries. There is not an hour that goes by that you are not in my thoughts. I love you guys and I miss you so much !!! Maybe when you return from your vacation Michael, Mason and I can stop over some weekend afternoon. I know the boys would love to see all of you !!!
Much Love, and hugs and kisses !!!

HAYLEY HADDOCK
ST. LOUIS, MO USA - Friday, March 28, 2003 12:01 AM CST

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Alison and Grant,
I wanted to drop in to see how you were doing. Not a day goes by that I don't think about all of you. Know that I'm praying for your family.
Debbie Little <littlecaleb@hotmail.com>
Dickson, TN U.S.A. - Friday, March 28, 2003 0:58 AM CST

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Alison, I have never known the pain of losing a child and I pray I never do. I saw my grandmother break down when my mom died. You just never get over it, when the friends and neighbors go on with their lives, its even emptier and harder for you to be left alone. I wish I knew why this happened, why that beautiful little girl didnt have a better chance, wasnt allowed a long and healthy life, but I dont. Please know we are here for you, which I know isnt saying much, but the CaringBridge family is thinking of you and praying for you.

Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Thursday, March 27, 2003 7:17 PM CST

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Just checking in on you and wanted you to know that you are still very much in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings!
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Thursday, March 27, 2003 6:03 PM CST

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Just thinking about you guys and wanted to let you know.
Sharyn Duncan
- Thursday, March 27, 2003 5:05 PM CST

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Praying for your family today.
Debbie Nagy
- Thursday, March 27, 2003 3:54 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks, hope you are enjoying your vacation, the change will be so good for you all. Have fun, enjoy some special time together with your family too. We all think of you all the time, wondering how you are. Hope you are having some good days together, take care - The Gupta's
Lynn Gupta
Ellisville, MO - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 9:58 PM CST

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Hi Alison....
The new pictures are so cute! Thank you for sharing them :0)
...Kim
Kim Kruppenbacher KODYS STORY
- Wednesday, March 26, 2003 4:30 PM CST

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Checking in...thinking of you and hoping that you are doing well. My thoughts are prayers are with you.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 10:03 PM CST

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Thinking of you today. You are in our prayers. God Bless
Whit and Shannon Henry <SHENRY7@kc.rr.com>
Kansas City , Mo USA - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 9:44 PM CST

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We just wanted to let you know that you all are in our thoughts and prayers! God bless you all!

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 5:47 PM CST

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Dear Alison,
Hope you had a good vacation. You all deserved a change of scenery. Glad you have such wonderful friends to support you and your family. We continue to pray for you all.
Jane and Doug Sheats
Springboro, OH - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 5:29 PM CST

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Prayers are still with you.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
N. Cape May, NJ - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 1:27 PM CST

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Hi Allsion.
Thinking about you and checking in on you.
Love,
Judy
Judy Grumish <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il USA - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 12:07 AM CST

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Praying for you today.
Melissa
Greenville, IL - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 11:31 AM CST

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I hope that you have a wonderful spring break. Enjoy the beach and time with family. Many of us are still praying for you and your family.
Kristy
St. Mark Presbyterian Church
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 9:09 AM CST

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Just thinking of your sweet family and hoping you are having a good day. God is blessing us with beautiful weather and I hope you are able to get out and enjoy it. As always..many thoughts and prayers are with your family.

Katy Davis
St. Peters, MO USA - Monday, March 24, 2003 8:51 PM CST

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Alison, Just checking in on you to see how you are doing. I think of you often, and keep you in my prayers. Hope the week was a little bit easier than the one before. You have a lot of us who care for you! Take care, we love you guys!
Tonya <www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
- Monday, March 24, 2003 3:51 PM CST

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The pictures are beautiful. I keep checking back on your page and I feel like I sorta know your family. God Bless You. Love, Tracy (Katia's mommy)

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook :) (Leukemia AML M4)

Tracy Solomon
- Monday, March 24, 2003 12:56 AM CST

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Many prayers for comfort and healing.

God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, March 24, 2003 9:10 AM CST

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Thinking of you.
Mary
Manchester, MO - Monday, March 24, 2003 8:30 AM CST

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sorry I haven't sent e-mails... lost everything on computer and feel 'out of touch'... I have borrowed laptop from Beth. Hope you find the beach peaceful and calming!!! I read 'Safely Home' - I read that a lot when Johnny died - thought it might help you too.
Love to all
Nancy Kay
New Madrid, MO - Sunday, March 23, 2003 11:35 PM CST

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Lurker #128,898. Wow! That was around 60,000 when Grant posted the infamous "LURKER" post. Just checking in and wanted to let you know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
With Love,
The Pyle's
Ellisville, MO - Sunday, March 23, 2003 9:02 PM CST

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Hello Alison. It has been a while since I have signed in. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers daily. Like you stated in your entry "I don't know what to say". I just pray for you. You are a wonderful person! I think if you continue to seek and follow God's direction he will guide you with stregnth, comfort and peace. Enjoy your trip! You all deserve some time away to relax and have fun. Alexandria's spirit will be with you! May God continue to bless you all!
Erin Turner <sandeturner@semo.net>
Ellsinore, MO - Sunday, March 23, 2003 3:18 PM CST

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Hi Alison,
You are indeed blessed with some wonderful friends. I'm sure the Lord gave you these wonderful people to help you through this very difficult time. The pictures you are posting of Alexandria and the family is a wonderful idea.
One of my favorites - Alexandria on the log flume ride at Six Flags! I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless,
Kathy Haws <firecap.wife@verizon.net>
Thousand Oaks, CA. - Sunday, March 23, 2003 2:08 AM CST

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I came across your website in loving memory of Alexandria and wanted to stop and tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. I wish so much that I had some magical words to help ease your pain, but I dont. Nobody does...but I will be keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers. I have a childrens memorial for children who have passed away from childhood disease and if you would like a star in memory of her I would be honored. You can take a look at the website and let me know. Again...I am so very sorry for your loss....Praying that God's love will be a source of comfort and strength to you - now and in the days ahead…

God Bless
Laura
Heavenly Lights Childrens Memorial
http://www.heavenlylights.homestead.com
Laura/Heavenly Lights Childrens Memorial <heavenlylights@charter.net>
mn - Saturday, March 22, 2003 9:42 PM CST

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I can't even begin to know the deep pain & loss you must all be experiencing. It sounds like you have a wonderful support system with your family and friends. God knows the hurt you are feeling and he will comfort you. Memories of her will bring great joy to your life at the strangest times. I will be praying that you find some relief from the pain you are going through. GOD BLESS!
Kim ~ Hannah's page
- Saturday, March 22, 2003 0:27 AM CST

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Alison, you are so lucky to have such close friends right by your side. Unfortunately that is almost a rare thing, you are blessed with special friendships. A trip to the beach sounds great. Take some time to be in one her favorite vacation spots, and soak up the love that Alexandria had for the beach. I think it will do you good. By the way, great pictures. Happy pictures!!!
Sharyn Duncan
- Friday, March 21, 2003 4:40 PM CST

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Dear Family,
I have emailed you a map and directions to our house. It is on the way to MS and we would love for you to stop and visit- if only a pit-stop. The kids would love to see the goats, bunnies, and others. Please think about it. If you can't on the way down, try on the way back. Love and kisses to all of you. Aunt Jo
Joella Jones <jojones@sheltonbbs.com>
New Madrid, MO` - Friday, March 21, 2003 10:30 AM CST

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Thank you once again for your inspiring words. I hope that if I ever have a good friend in your position that I will be a "do-er" and not a "talker". Words cannot express the sorrow that I feel for you. Thank God that we know Alexandria is in heaven.
Connie Gross <cgross@erac.com>
St. Louis, MO - Friday, March 21, 2003 10:02 AM CST

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Your words ring so true to me. My son Ryan died on January 3 after a bone marrow transplant. Every day is an ordeal just to get up and get moving. I can't think of anything that we will be faced with as mothers that can be any worse than having your child die. I truly understand how you are feeling.
Roberta Kishbaugh
- Friday, March 21, 2003 9:54 AM CST

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We hope you enjoy your trip immensely. We will be gone for a week as well with no access to the internet. We will continue to pray for your strength and happiness. I'll be sure to catch up when we return. God bless you all.
Lisa Williams <clklus@yahoo.com>
Ballwin, MO - Friday, March 21, 2003 8:55 AM CST

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Just thinking of you all. Praying for comfort and peace.
P.S. I saw some lady at the cleaners trying to take your dry cleaning?!?!? What is up with that?!?
Katy Davis
St. Peters, MO USA - Thursday, March 20, 2003 10:49 PM CST

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Alison and Grant,
I love the new pictures. Alexandria has such a beautiful smile. Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Love,

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Thursday, March 20, 2003 10:09 PM CST

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Your pain is unimaginable. There are no words to help you with your grieving. You continue to amaze me with how well you can express your feelings. You are a wonderful person and teach me something everday, just like Alexandria. You are helping us all to lead fuller lives. Thank you for that, I wish you didn't have to suffer with such an incredible loss. We continue to pray for you and the entire family. Love, Cat
Cat Borkowski
- Thursday, March 20, 2003 9:40 PM CST

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We continue to pray for the entire family. We just wanted you all to know that we care and are still greiving also. Alexandria really touched Mariah's heart. GOD BLESS
Roger and Mariah King <rpkmrkia@aol.com>
Dittmer, MO USA - Thursday, March 20, 2003 8:22 PM CST

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Alexandria is a precious angel. The pain we all share, will never be as much as yours. But we will also never know the great joy, smiles, laughter, and happiness that she brought to your life. You are in my prayers.
Brenda <lanebs@earthlink.net>
TN - Thursday, March 20, 2003 4:40 PM CST

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Dear Haddocks,
Just wanted to let you know we are thinking about you and praying for you.
We hope you have a safe and relaxing trip to Florida.
May God bless your family!
The Brusseau's
- Thursday, March 20, 2003 3:22 PM CST

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Hey Haddocks !!!
I just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers!!
Missing you !!!!
Auntie Hayley
HAYLEY HADDOCK <MOMMYDANGER@YAHOO.COM>
ST. LOUIS, MO USA - Thursday, March 20, 2003 3:13 PM CST

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Still praying for all of you......God's blessings! With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, March 20, 2003 2:41 PM CST

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Continuing to pray for you all. May God bless you with a safe trip and lots of sunshine.
The Uebeleins
- Thursday, March 20, 2003 1:12 PM CST

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Praying for you today...I also hope you have a very nice trip.
Elaine Riazi
- Thursday, March 20, 2003 11:42 AM CST

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You are on my heart first thing this morning and I wanted to let you know. Blessings to you. I'm right here if there's anything I can do for you from here besides pray. Much love to you and your family.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Thursday, March 20, 2003 8:59 AM CST

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Dear Mrs and Mr. Haddock
I did not know Alexandria personly but after reading what other people have wrote about her I wish I would have. My sister Mary went to her birthday party right before they started first grade, and I remember her telling me how much fun they had. It sounds like Alexandria was funny and liked to sing. Your family is lucky to have had such a wonderful person in your life. Everytime I see an angel I'll think of her.
Christopher Savala
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 7:58 PM CST

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I just wanted to drop you a note and let you know that I do still think about Alexandria often and wonder how her family is doing. I can't say I understand what you are going through, but please know that people you have never meant are thinking of you and hoping for some happy moments during your days of grieving. Hopefully alot of those happy moments will include Alexandria in them and all the happy times you had with her. She was an amazing child, who I know I will never forget! Take care!
Michelle <mpren91@hotmail.com>
Shakopee, MN - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 5:36 PM CST

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Grant & Alison,

We just wanted to remind you that you are constantly in our prayers. We wish there was something else we could do to ease your pain. We cannot even imagine what it is like for you to have to go through this. We just hope it is some comfort to know that one day you will see your precious girl again. For her, it is but a moment, but for you here on earth, you have to wait it out. It is so awesome to see her testimony still touching lives. You are a very precious family and we pray that God will ease your pain somehow.

Psalms 55:22 Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee.

Love,
John & Johnelle www.caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 2:07 PM CST

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Dear Alison,
My heart breaks as I read your journal, but I do give thanks to the Lord for surrounding you with such loving, and caring family and friends. I pray that you will find a ray of sunshine somewhere in your trip. Alexandria would have wanted that. I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you, but I am thankful you and Grant are on the same page with the grieving process. I know from others that when you are not it is very much of a strain on the marriage. Everyone grieves differently, and we are only humans, so it is hard to understand why some can "seem" to move on so quickly. I don't think they really do, I think it is just their way of coping with the loss. You are such a wonderful person, friend, wife and mother. It shows in your journal how much you have given and love others. It is now your time not to give but to take from others all the love and comfort they offer you. As you said yourself, it is what gets you through each day. Please take care of yourself and I will continue to check your web site and pray for you and yours.
In Christian love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 1:56 PM CST

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I am very sorry about your loss, my heart is very heavy for you and your family. I cant imagine the pain that you feel but I am sure with prayer that in time it will get easier. Please know that i will pray for you daily. i hope you have a very nice vacation you deserve it!!!!
Julie Arrington <roojul1990@hotmail.com>
Martinsville, Va USA - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 10:45 AM CST

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I just wanted you to know that though I don't always sign in, I'm still here everyday and praying for all of you. God bless you all and your wonderful friends. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 10:45 AM CST

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Just wanted to drop by and let you know I think of you and your family daily... I know the struggles you are going through, it will be better. Time will heal your pain. God Bless you and your family, America and our Troops!
Reva <Revalynn@hotmail.com>
Mesquite, Texas USA!!! - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 9:53 AM CST

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Like many others signing in, I am unsure of what to say. I am glad to see you are surrounded by understanding and caring friends, and many of us are praying for you and the children.
Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Wednesday, March 19, 2003 9:34 AM CST

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Thinking of you daily. Words can't help you, but I hope for healing and peace for you and your entire family.
Mary
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 8:43 AM CST

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Dear Alison and Grant- I know things seem so bleak right now. Your journal entry probably only communicated 1/100th of your pain. Having watched my parents go through this, I can imagine how difficult it is to see her friends, see her things, see her favorite foods. Your life will forever be different and you will always have that hole in your heart. But, you will also find ways to live around that hole and you will have joy again too. I think that by communicating your pain, and staying in contact with your many friends around you, you are making enormous steps. I love the new pictures- wonderful memories of a happier, innocent time. Take care-
Melissa Day
Fishers, IN - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 7:03 AM CST

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Huggs
Drake
- Tuesday, March 18, 2003 11:26 PM CST

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My heart just breaks, reading your journal. All I can say is, I will continue to pray for you, and your family. I hope you feel God's peace, and His loving arms carrying you through this time. Love and prayers,
Christi Hamilton <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 9:59 PM CST

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Still praying for comfort and peace for your family. You are in my thoughts every day.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NCM, NJ - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 3:58 PM CST

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I love the new pictures as always. I don't even know what to write, but I did want you to know I think of you & your family daily. Saying many prayers for comfort. I hope Spring Break is an enjoyable time for the kids & you & Grant as well. I am so sorry for the tough time you are having. I don't think we are not conditioned to loose loved ones. She is in such a better place, but it is still so hard on the ones left behind. Sounds like you have a wonderful support team. Which I think is vitale. Take care. Many prayers being sent your way.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 3:16 PM CST

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You and your family are always in my thoughts.
Kristen Bly
O'Fallon, MO - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 3:03 PM CST

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Just a note to say hi and that I'm praying for you...

Jen Parenti <parenti@netzero.net>
Orford, NH USA - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 1:21 PM CST

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What great pictures!! I love the log flume shot - such great expressions! How great of you to share! Praying that your family's pain is healing...
The Tojo's
- Tuesday, March 18, 2003 1:05 PM CST

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So glad to hear you have such wonderful supportive friends near you! A trip to the beach sounds just great - make sure to give Stephanie a nice big hug from a friend for me. Still praying for you and all your family!
Tanda Smith
Cape Girardeau, Mo - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 12:56 AM CST

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Dear Alison and Grant, each journal entry I read continues to captivate and enlighten me as to what you are going through. They also make me cry! I know you know how many lives you and Alexandria continue to touch. Your strength and love is insurmountable. My son, Lincoln, would love for Hayden to come play anytime. Maybe next time I see you at school we can set up a playdate - (and maybe Chase could come too - I know they are buddies!) Have a safe and fun trip. God Bless you all. Lisa Schwartz
Lisa Schwartz
O'Fallon, Mo - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 12:53 AM CST

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Hi Alison. My philosophy is to ask and when people don't respond, stop asking and "DO". Instead a lot of people think they don't know what to do so they shouldn't do anything. The reverse is true. If they don't know what to do, they should think about what they might want/need in a similar situation and do that. I wish I was closer to you so that I could actually DO more for you. But, it is obvious that God has surrounded you with many people who are taking care of that. I am praying for you however and that will continue. If there is anything else I can do for you over here on the East Coast, just say the word. I am glad you will be getting some time away. And yes, having lost many people who are close to me--obviously none as difficult as a child--but have definitely found that when the shock wears off, it gets harder...I wish I knew how to fix that, but in reality, I know that it's all a part of the process and rather than taking it away, God will get you through it. It's very hard to see people you care about hurting though. And I care for you. I won't write a novel here--I just wanted you to know that you are on my heart and in my prayers. Blessings to you. I will continue to check in.
Khalita <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 10:38 AM CST

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Hi Alison,
Just wanted to send some love your way.

gelene
st. louis, mo - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 10:27 AM CST

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Unfortunately, I too, am walking the same path of grief. I agree that initially the shock buffers some of the pain, and I think that initially we are more accepting of the loss because we know how much happier are loved ones are now, but the shock gradually wears away and lets more pain in. My 6 year old son has been gone a year and a half now and I still don't think I have fully experienced the depth of the pain yet. He continues to be my first and last thought of each day. I talk to Jonathan all day long and I constantly question God about the purpose of this experience. There was of course so much good experienced while Jonathan was ill, but the sadness now outweighs all that.
I would never let go of this pain. It is now as much a part of me as my children are. I cannot simply let go and move on. I move on, but with the pain as my companion and a clear goal in site - my reunion with Jonathan.
Whenever I think of other little angels like Alexandria, I ask my Jonathan to say hello to her for me and let her know that I am looking forward to meeting all of his wonderful new friends.
It is so difficult to know what to pray for, since I know there are no words of true comfort to be offered, so my prayer for your family is simply the strength to make it through each day.
Patty, mom to angel Jonathan <jpnwhite@adelphia.net>
- Tuesday, March 18, 2003 10:02 AM CST

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Just checking in - have a wonderful time in Florida. God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 8:51 AM CST

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My goodness Allison, how true your words ring...and unfortunately I can say that. You know that our sweet Robert left us exactly 4months ago last Sunday. It does not get easier, just different. I think that as the time passes and the "reality" sets in it does become more unbearable; but, you like me, will keep going because you know you must...yes, our precious children are capable of saying that which pierces our hearts, and at the same time encourages us to live...My youngest sweet Matthew, only 6, said to me just this morning, I want to die to go to heaven to be with Robert--he meant nothing by it, now if he were an adult, I would worry! In his innocence I am sure heaven is a place to visit and come back from...yet, he knows his brother lives there now. I am SO GRATEFUL you have amazing friends. You yourself must be an amazing friend. Me, I am the type that is so "strong" even the closest of friends do not know what to do with me. How blessed you are to have them there...I truly wish I was one of them. Also, give thanks to God that you and Grant are able to be there for each other...a whole other subject, but our Lord does deserve the praise, no matter what. I am sure that your trip down south or over will be a nice break for all of you. Alexandria will be there with you, you know this...everything, I mean everything is different...take good care, and remember to eat! The tears that seem to never want to stop for me have become a bit of a cleansing to my heart and soul. May you find peace somewhere on this journey...Shalom, Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel
Kathy Charlton <ckcharlton@aol.com>
West Palm Beach , FL - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 4:14 AM CST

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Alison, I hope that you have perfect sunshine over spring break. You will be surrounded by family for two weeks! I will continue to pray for you, Grant and the kids. You all have so much love to help you work through such unbearable pain. Jesus loves the little children. He will help you through this.

Thinking of you,
Holly
Holly Dickinson
Ellisville, MO - Monday, March 17, 2003 11:07 PM CST

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Oh how awful it is. I wish I could say it becomes easier but so far it hasnt. I think it does get harder as time goes on. I just keep seeing how he went so down hill that last month. I wish I could see him playing in the yard and riding on the tractor or playing with his dog but I just see those fat checks that the steriods created and the weak body as the cancer ate away at his body. Why, Why, Why. Why my son. We were such a happy family. I have a great husband and two wonderful children. Now I just have an only child and a husband that is so sad because he misses his buddy so much. I just hope time will heal. I look to God and I know Adam is very happy where he is.
We also have wonderful friends that have been so supportive to us. They spend breakfast, lunch and dinner with us if we need them to. They clean our house, shovel our snow and what ever else we need them to do without asking. God has sent us great friends and family. Let me know if you ever want to talk. Im sorry I could never help you with theorpies that Adam had, you tried alot more things than we did, but it still wasnt enough. I dont understand how that cancer can live through all that treatment. Their bodies get so weak and allow other things to take over. I will stop rambling now. Thank you for continuing to keep her site up
RuthTrombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
Westerly , Ri - Monday, March 17, 2003 10:17 PM CST

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I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE TODAY,.... JUST WANTED YOU ALL TO KNOW WE ARE STILL CONCERNED ABOUT HOW YOU ALL ARE DOING.. AND DIDN'T WANT TO BE ACCUSED OF BEING A "LURKER" (HAHAHA) . WELL, I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD AND SAFE TRIP AT THE BEACH !! SPRING BREAK ALWAYS GOES BY TO FAST, IF YOU ASK ME.
LOVE AND BLESSINGS,
DANETTE

Danette Prater www.caringbridge.com/tx/jacobprater <jakesmom@wt.net>
Santa Fe , TX - Monday, March 17, 2003 9:29 PM CST

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I cannot imagine how hard this is for you guys...you are in my prayers. I hope that your vacation will be a nice trip for you...
Heather Grell <hiyah75@lycos.com>
Brainerd, MN - Monday, March 17, 2003 9:26 PM CST

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Alison,

I never stop thinking about you. Try to enjoy your spring break at the beach.
Monica Lummus
- Monday, March 17, 2003 8:14 PM CST

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I have been following your daughter's progress for several months and am very sorry for your loss. I also pray for each day to be brighter for you. God Bless your family.
Chris A.
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Monday, March 17, 2003 8:03 PM CST

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Hope your day went well yesterday, Just thinking about you guys
Sharyn Duncan
- Monday, March 17, 2003 6:29 PM CST

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Thanks for the return E-mail. We continue to pray for you and let us know if there is anything we can do.
Thom Shoemaker <thomas.shoemaker@direcway.com>
ofallon, MO - Monday, March 17, 2003 4:01 PM CST

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Hello Haddocks!
Still lurking everyday and praying for you. It's been awhile since we signed in, but you are thought of and prayed for often. Alexandria's (and your) life is shared often with friends and family and we are blessed to have known her and your family. May God's blessings continue to heal you.
The Erusha Family
Ellisville, MO - Monday, March 17, 2003 10:35 AM CST

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You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA. - Monday, March 17, 2003 10:10 AM CST

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You continue to be in our prayers. Nurture and be gentle with yourselves.
Karen and Bill Gabriel, Katie, Kristen, & Caroline
Ballwin, MO - Monday, March 17, 2003 8:31 AM CST

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Just checking in, I hope you are doing OK. I have been checking for an update daily. We think about you everyday and pray to Alexandria to keep you strong. I am sure the pain is unbearable at times, know you have so many to lean on when you need it. We continue to pray for you. Love, Cat
Cat Borkowski
- Sunday, March 16, 2003 8:32 PM CST

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Just wanted to check in on you guys. Thinking of you much on this day & praying for comfort for you. I hope all of you are able to enjoy the beautiful weather. On this sunny day I kept thinking of the daisy I was given in Alexandria's memory. I pray that each day gets a little brighter. All of our thoughts & prayers are with you.
The Pyle Family
- Sunday, March 16, 2003 6:48 PM CST

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Just checking in to say Hi and am hoping that this weather helped lifted your spirits a little. I thought that this winter would never end. We think about you and your daily struggle to get through this often. Take care-
the Day family <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Sunday, March 16, 2003 4:35 PM CST

---

Hello Haddock Family... Gosh I can't even think of how to say anything...Alexandria worked hard this weekend with mother nature, to especially bring us some much needed beautiful weather. She is with you right now, watching you cherrish her and her memories. I hope that on this day you feel a thousand extra tugs of support and prayers working in your heart. We never stop praying!!! Please remember that always.
Sharyn Duncan
- Sunday, March 16, 2003 2:55 PM CST

---

Dear Haddock Family,
My thoughts and prayers are with you all today!
May God bless you and give you strength to get through the day! Alexandria was so blessed to have such wonderful parents!
Call me if you need anything!!
Love and Prayers,
Nancy

Nancy Cole
- Sunday, March 16, 2003 12:52 AM CST

---

Hi Alison. I hope you are feeling better and that you've had a good week. I think about you and the rest of the family all the time. My prayers are with you.
Kristy
St. Mark Presbyterian Church
Ballwin, MO 63011 - Sunday, March 16, 2003 8:39 AM CST

---

Alison, Hi, I just wanted to stop by and check on how you are doing. I hope the week without Grant was uneventful,and I hope you are feeling better from your cold. I think of you and your family everyday! you are all wonderful people, I can tell!! Everytime I think of Alexandria I just have to smile. I think of what a beautiful angel she must be, playing in her pink tipped angel wings. Hang in there!! will check back soon.
Tonya <www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
- Saturday, March 15, 2003 11:41 PM CST

---

Allison-

Just wanted to check in and let you know I'm still thinking about you. If there is anything you need please let me know I'm just a phone call away.

God Bless you
dawn dains <daisydains@msn.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Saturday, March 15, 2003 5:47 PM CST

---

Your family is in our thoughts and prayers.
God Bless!
The Clarks
Ryan’s Page
<johncindyclark@att.net>
East Norriton, PA USA (and very proud of it !) - Saturday, March 15, 2003 8:50 AM CST

---

Dear Haddock Family -

We just wanted to let you know that we've been thinking a lot about your precious angel. Alexandria touched our lives so much and we will never forget her! Please know that your family is always in our thoughts and in our prayers. God bless you all.

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Saturday, March 15, 2003 6:40 AM CST

---

As always, thinking of you and praying for you.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Friday, March 14, 2003 11:31 PM CST

---

Alison: I hope Grant has made it safely back from San Diego through the madhouse of airport security and St. Louis traffic. You and yours remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Friday, March 14, 2003 8:57 PM CST

---

Hi Alison, I hope you are feeling better and are on the road to recovery. I haven't even been able to lurk since our modem is messed up, but you and your family are seldom far from my thoughts. Prayers continue, and, please find that publisher. No one who reads of your struggles could stay unmoved and unchanged. You could touch many lives with a book.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO - Friday, March 14, 2003 8:35 PM CST

---

My thoughts and prayers are with you....even though I do not know you, I think of you often....a friend of mine lives near you and asked for my prayers months ago...I will continue to pray for God's guidance during this extremely difficult time for your family....God Bless you all!
Patty Schneider
Edgewood, KY US - Friday, March 14, 2003 7:04 PM CST

---

Checking in to see how you are doing. We are keeping you in our prayers.
Kevin and Kristen Bly
O'Fallon, MO - Friday, March 14, 2003 7:01 PM CST

---

I was unable to post due to computer problems for a month. I am so sorry for your loss. You & your family are truly an inspiration. I think about you constantly since Amy told me the sad news. I know your days are filled with loving memories of your perfect angel.
God bless,
Kathy
Kathy Adelson Laucius <klaucius@sbcglobal.net>
Houston, TX - Friday, March 14, 2003 5:02 PM CST

---

Thinking of you and praying for you daily, hope you're feeling better from your cold. Praying your week has gone well & for Grant's safe return home.
Love,

the Uebelein's
- Friday, March 14, 2003 4:59 PM CST

---

Thinking of you all always. We love the pictures. What a beautiful,precious child.
Much love and prayers,
Stephanie, Phil, Sidonia and Sheldon

Stephanie Compton <pscompton@peoplepc.com>
- Friday, March 14, 2003 3:51 PM CST

---

"Heaven's Latest Angel"

Such a little girl
Living grown up dreams
Shooting for the sky
With a smile and eyes that beam
Her living an example
Her death was a surprise
Heaven's latest angel
Finally gets to fly.

She touched so many lives
She made us see the light
Dreams are only dreams
Unless we live them day and night
Her life here may have ended
But her soul will never die
Heaven's latest angel
Finally gets to fly.

Nothing left to ground her
Spirit ... finally free
The world hers' to discover
"From sea to shining sea"
Yearning for the blue skies
As she waves one last good-bye
Heaven's latest angel
Finally gets to fly


I found this while looking for a poem for my sister Taryn's site. I thought of Alexandria when I read it, and thought I'd share it with you.
Phyllis <prc7186@aol.com>
Hamilton, NJ USA - Friday, March 14, 2003 3:18 PM CST

---

Hope you made it through the week ok, and that Grant hurries home today! We're praying for your family!
The Tojo's
- Friday, March 14, 2003 9:03 AM CST

---

Alison, You are always on my mind. I hope that nasty cold goes away very soon. The weather is suppose to be nice this weekend, maybe that will help. I hope Grant had a great trip, I'm sure is is especially hard for him to be away from his loved ones. My daughter, Allyson, is asking about you and the kids often. Always thinking about you guys.
Sharyn Duncan
- Friday, March 14, 2003 8:12 AM CST

---

Thinking of all of you each and every day. Lifting you all in prayer.

Katy Davis
St. Peters, MO USA - Friday, March 14, 2003 0:30 AM CST

---

Alison and family,
You are all in our prayers tonight as always. Praying for a speedy return for Grant tomorrow too !!! Take Care and God Bless.
Karen
Ballwin, - Thursday, March 13, 2003 11:33 PM CST

---

Alsion,

Just stopping by to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless You All!

Love and ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Eva
- Thursday, March 13, 2003 7:56 PM CST

---

I love you guys!! I am praying for you daily. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend!
Love,
Kailie Rhines <loolieb@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, March 13, 2003 5:45 PM CST

---

Hi Alison- I hope you're getting through this week- I know it's a long one. It's so draining to take care of the kids all by yourself anyway, let alone now, when you're going through such an incredibly difficult time. We think of you and Alexandria all of the time- she made such an imprint in her short life. Take care-
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Thursday, March 13, 2003 5:20 PM CST

---

The eternity you will have with Alexandria will make up for all the tears and grief in this lifetime. This lifetime will be like a drop in a bucket compared to your eternity with your precouis daughter up in heavon. Bless you and thank you for sharing beautiful Alexandria with us. I will keep you in my prayers.
sally <sally_torres@lusknet.com>
anaheim, ca usa - Thursday, March 13, 2003 5:07 PM CST

---

It was great to see you out and about today. You look great! It was wonderful to visit with you. Thanks for giving me so much of your time! Praying for Grant to get home safely and to not have to travel too much in the near future.
Amy
Ballwin, - Thursday, March 13, 2003 3:50 PM CST

---

Dear Alison,
I just wanted to say hello. I haven't written in a while, but that does not mean you are not in my thoughts.
Jordan seems to be having a lot of trouble coping with things since Alexandria's death, so I am trying to deal with him, but please know that I still am thinking of you all and praying for you.
Diane Miller <Noelleplace>
- Thursday, March 13, 2003 1:50 PM CST

---

Praying for you today. May you continue to feel the love of our awesome God. Blessings to each and everyone of you
Sheila Jones (Green Pines Mom)
Wildwood, Mo usa - Thursday, March 13, 2003 1:02 PM CST

---

Just checking in and continuing to lift your family up in prayer.
Love in Christ,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Thursday, March 13, 2003 1:02 PM CST

---

My thoughts and prayers are with you today.
Elaine Riazi
St. Charles, - Thursday, March 13, 2003 12:20 AM CST

---

I hope you feel better soon. Thinking of you.
God Bless,
Judy
Judy Grumish <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il USA - Thursday, March 13, 2003 11:34 AM CST

---

There is nothing I can say I know, but know there are people thinking of you...even people you don't know.
Deirdre Antalek <deirdre@rochester.rr.com>
Livonia (Rochester), NY - Thursday, March 13, 2003 8:44 AM CST

---

There is nothing I can say I know, but know there are people thinking of you...even people you don't know.
Deirdre Antalek <deirdre@rochester.rr.com>
Livonia (Rochester), NY - Thursday, March 13, 2003 8:26 AM CST

---

The pictures are awesome. Thank you for sharing them. I am praying for you daily. Love, Tracy
Katia's mommy

Visit
Katia's Page and sign her guestbook :) (Leukemia AML M4)

 

Tracy Solomon
- Thursday, March 13, 2003 5:11 AM CST

---

Alison,
Hope you get over your cold soon. It's wonderful how everyone has pitched in and helped you. Friends are truly a gift from God. Your strength and outlook really inspires me. Your words are so beautiful and I want you to know that I hold you in very high regard. God Bless you and your family. Alexandria will never be forgotten.
Debbie Little <www.caringbridge.org/tn/littlecaleb>
Dickson, TN - Wednesday, March 12, 2003 10:38 PM CST

---

Allison,
Although I may not write here everyday, I check here everyday and often. Always looking for your wonderful, inspiring journal writings. Please know I continue to think of you all .. always send loving thoughts and prayers!
Love, Gwen Scott
- Wednesday, March 12, 2003 10:35 PM CST

---

My Dear Family,
Just checking in. Alison, I'm thankful that you are accepting help from others. GOD has sent those special ones to you. Lean on them! Hope you feel better from your cold very soon. LOVE.
Aunt Cindy
Woodinville, WA USA - Wednesday, March 12, 2003 9:20 PM CST

---

Alison,
I still don't have those magic words, but you don't need them anyway........You have Jesus to lean on. Lean as hard as you can! Alexandria is by His side, and I KNOW YOU KNOW IT. Your posts show your belief. Remember, this life means nothing if you don't qualify for the next one. I know you have qualified.........AND, you are doing your share to make sure that others have the same opportunity!!!! God bless you and your family!
Billy Bruce
Ironton, Oh - Wednesday, March 12, 2003 9:09 PM CST

---

Alison, I am glad your friends and neighbors are there for you and reaching out to you. I am also glad that you are accepting their offers of support and help. I hope you are feeling better physically and mentally.
Judy V
- Wednesday, March 12, 2003 9:07 PM CST

---

Alison: I'm just checking on you. Our Angels are smiling down on us from above. Thinking about you often.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Wednesday, March 12, 2003 8:28 PM CST

---

Dearest Allison and family, Just checking in on you as well. I wish I could have been one that delivered something to you in person...how blessed you are. Yes, God can get us through even this. Allison, I am so glad to see and know that you are allowing others to help you and that you are receiving and loving them back...Peace my friends, Kathy
Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel <ckcharlton@aol.com>
West Palm Beach , FL - Wednesday, March 12, 2003 6:12 PM CST

---

Hugs From Heaven!

When you feel a gentle breeze
Caress you when you sigh,
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From a loved one way up high.

If a soft and tender raindrop
Lands upon your nose,
It's just a little angel's kiss
As fragile as a rose.

When you hear a song that fills you
With a feeling of sweet love,
It's a hug sent down from Heaven
From someone special up above.

If you wake up in the morning
To a bluebird's chirping song,
It's music sent from Heaven
To cheer you all day long.

If tiny little snowflakes
Land gently on your face,
It's a whisper sent from Heaven
All trimmed with angel lace.

So try and let your heart be joyful
If you're lonely, my dear friend,
Hugs that are sent from Heaven
A prayer that your broken heart will mend!


You are all in my thoughts and prayers!
Linda

Linda Watson (Camp SAM) <ltwats7@aol.com>
Birmingham, AL USA - Wednesday, March 12, 2003 7:13 AM CST

---

Remembering Alexandria and your family in thoughts and prayers.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 11:43 PM CST

---

Dear Family,
You have touched my life in such a special way. I am so proud to be a part of your family. Your Dad, Grandmaw and Papaw Hunter are so proud of you all, too. I think of you all constantly and hope we can visit again soon. Your "Bootheel" family sends their love also. Love in Christ.
Joella Jones <jojones@sheltonbbs.com>
New Madrid, MO - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 9:49 PM CST

---

Just checking in. Grant is gone on business, Hayden told me Sunday. Let us know if the kids want to play this week to give you a break. We continue to keep you in our prayers
Thom Shoemaker <thomas.shoemaker@direcway.com>
o'fallon, MO - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 9:35 PM CST

---

Thinking of your little angel tonight and praying for your family.
Tammy Holston
Birmingham, AL - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 8:13 PM CST

---

Dear Alison, Glad you have such wonderful close friends to watch over you. Your graciousness is appreciated. Take care of yourself, get as much rest as you can. We think of you and family everyday and pray.
The Sheats Family
Springboro, OH - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 8:04 PM CST

---

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Haddock,

I wanted to let you know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you have great rest of the week!
God Bless!
Kailie Rhines <loolieb@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 6:14 PM CST

---

Dear Alison
I am praying that the Easter season lifts your spirits through the miracle of rebirth. I pray that you may find peace here on earth until you and Alexandria find each other in heaven some day. The candle is truly a sign..that she is thinking of YOU,,,that she is with YOU..that her love burns bright for her mommy. May these gifts sustain you through this difficult time.
Our hearts are still yours..we will not forget you and your angel.
Love, the Healy family.
E. Healy <fitNJpro@aol.com>
Waldwick, NJ - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 5:28 PM CST

---

I am so thankful you have such good friends & family who love you & are there for you. The candle story was just another example of how fabulous your generous your little girl was. I wish as you said that there was a medicince for loss & sadness or a perfect thing to say to make you feel better. We are just not that fortunate. Though having God on our side is such a blessing. How people without faith get through a day I will never know. I look forward to your husband coming home & updating the pictures. They are great to see.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 5:13 PM CST

---

I'm glad you're feeling a little better- you will have many ups and downs to come, but you have such a wonderful family to keep you going. I know it's hard with Grant gone- count the days, minutes,.... Take good care of yourself!
the Day family
- Tuesday, March 11, 2003 4:11 PM CST

---

Thinking of you and praying for you every day!
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 1:49 PM CST

---

I just wanted to let you know that I am still thinking about you, I check the web site every day to see how your doing. Your in my prayers.
Love,
Lisa


Lisa Mosley
Saint Peters, MO United States - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 12:47 AM CST

---

Dear Alison, it took me 39 years to figure it out, but it seems that however long you loved someone, it will be that long to recover from the intense blow of looseing them. I dont think however, that this applies to the loss of a child. I can not think of anything so deeply painful as that. I will pray for you and your children, and Grant while he is away. My heart aches for you and your kids, may God show you and them the way in your darkest hours. Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO usa - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 0:40 AM CST

---

In a bible study I did about a year or so ago we talked about coincidences and how we need to look for God in all things - even the seemingly small things. I now see "Godincidences" all around me - much like the candle story. He will continue to let you know that He and your precious little girl are always by your side. I pray that your days will be easier and that Grant will retun home safely!
Tanda Smith
Cape Girardeau, MO - Monday, March 10, 2003 10:08 PM CST

---

Allison, when I heard Grant was going to San Diego I thought of how hard it would be for you. I pray for you and your family everyday. You continue to teach all of us what is important in life. Thank you for that! Love, Cat
Cat Borkowski
- Monday, March 10, 2003 8:29 PM CST

---

Alison, you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings to you.
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, March 10, 2003 2:25 PM CST

---

Alison,
This week will be long. Thinking about you and praying for you everyday.
Judy V
- Monday, March 10, 2003 2:07 PM CST

---

Alison, I am so sorry you had such a terrible evening on Sunday. Three weeks is such a short time and you just need to take it one day at a time and sometimes, minute by minute. Thank goodness you have your faith, family, and friends. That does not take the pain of losing Alexandria but, hopefully it will help you get through another day. We are here for you. Tammy
Tammy Whalen <dtkmdwhalen@cs.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Monday, March 10, 2003 1:36 PM CST

---

Alison, I am sending hugs your way, and praying for Grants safe return. I wish there was more I could do.
Sharyn Duncan
- Monday, March 10, 2003 12:17 AM CST

---

My prayers are with you and your family.
Tracey <moobunny2@yahoo.com>
Perryville, mo - Monday, March 10, 2003 12:17 AM CST

---

My dear friend,
My thoughts and prayers are with you right now! I can feel the saddness and pain in your voice when we speak! I'm so sorry that the sorrow is so unbearable!
Please know that I am here for you, to cry, laugh, or eat icecream!
Alexandria was so blessed to have you as her Mommy!

Love,
Nancy
Nancy Cole
- Monday, March 10, 2003 11:49 AM CST

---

Alison,
You and your family continue to be in our prayers. I have faced those weeks in San Diego on my own as well, but I know your week will be much more difficult than mine has ever been. Thank you for sharing all your thoughts so openly. Please know that you are making such an impact on so many people. We will continue to pray for strength for all of you.
Dana Vena
Overland Park, KS - Monday, March 10, 2003 11:07 AM CST

---

Dear Alison and family,
I am so sorry that you are having to climb such a steep hill and have an unwelcome visitor in your home. The grief you are going through is unbearable and only your faith and love of the Lord will get you through. Yes, friends and family will help, but in the end it is our merciful God that will make your life worth living again. I pray that when you light the precious candle from Alexandria that your soul is lifted and you feel her love and the love of God engulfing you. You are unbelievable strong during this time, even if you don't feel so, just to continue to update the journal is a strength that most would not have. I will pray for Grant to have a safe trip to San Diego and back. Also, a safe trip for Michelle to get home too. My heart still breaks for you. I feel blessed to have found your sweet daughter and family, even though we have never met. Alexandria taught all of us many life lessons and I believe her mission here on earth was fulfilled many times over. God bless you always and I will continue to pray for all of the Haddock family.
In Christian love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Monday, March 10, 2003 9:05 AM CST

---

Alison -

The candle story touched our hearts, just like Alexandria has so many times. How sweet that she had been saving up to buy you a candle! What a precious, sweet girl! We just wanted to let you know that we still think and pray for you all constantly. We will pray that this week will be an easy one with Grant being gone. Take care and God bless you.

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Monday, March 10, 2003 8:49 AM CST

---

LETTING YOU KNOW WE ARE STILL HERE, LISTENING TO YOU, CRYING WITH YOU, AND PRAYING FOR YOU. WITH LOVE,
LEE ANN (KRISTAN'S MOMMY)
- Monday, March 10, 2003 8:35 AM CST

---

Hi Alison - I love that picture of Alexandria running on the beach! What a free spirit! The candle story is precious - it must have been yet another way that she wanted to show you how much she appreciated all you did for her, and what a wonderful mother you are! You're always in our prayers.
The Tojo's
- Monday, March 10, 2003 8:34 AM CST

---

Alison I am so sorry. This has to be the worst thing in the world to endure. Please know many people are here for you and thinking of all of you.
Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Monday, March 10, 2003 8:12 AM CST

---

Just wanted to check in and see how you all were doing. Hope that cold is getting better - chicken soup and lots of rest! That's the best medicine! Take care of yourself. Lots of prayers and blessings being sent your way.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, March 10, 2003 8:11 AM CST

---

It's so hard to understand why things like this happen and even more difficult to understand how to get through them. Your dear sweet girl was thinking of you in the midst of her pain and suffering- children are so much deeper than we know. What a precious gift from beyond. Take it one day, one minute, at a time- each day will get a little better. Love-
the Day family <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Monday, March 10, 2003 8:08 AM CST

---

My Heart Aches for you and I continue to Pray for you daily
Debby Roberts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,http://www.caringbridge.org/oh/emilyroberts/
- Monday, March 10, 2003 6:14 AM CST

---

I just wanted you to know I think of the family of the sweet angels that have gone before us - I keep you in my prayers - love Angel Toto

Angel Toto
- Monday, March 10, 2003 0:08 AM CST

---

Alison,

We will pray for more of God's mercy on you as you begin the week without Grant at home, plus not feeling well. We think of you guys constantly and continue praying for you every day. You are an amazing family!

Love,
John & Johnelle Rhines www.caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie
St. Charles, MO - Sunday, March 9, 2003 11:52 PM CST

---

Alison: May you ever feel the Lord's loving embrace sustaining and strengthening you. And may He protect Grant and your family while you are apart until you are together again.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Sunday, March 9, 2003 10:10 PM CST

---

Alison, I stopped by to check on you, and the family. I hope you have a good week. We care about you alot, you have become a long distance friend that I think about everyday. I hope that candle burns forever!! what a sweet little girl Alexandria was, and what a beautiful angel she must be. Take care, you will be in our prayers always!!
Tonya Lloyd <www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
SLC, UT - Sunday, March 9, 2003 9:44 PM CST

---

Dear Haddocks,
Just wanted to let you know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing Alexandria and your story with us.God Bless-
Nancy Dalton
Wildwood, MO - Sunday, March 9, 2003 9:18 PM CST

---

Dear Haddocks,

Sending love, thoughts, and prayers your way! I hope you have a good week!

Love and (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
Eva
- Sunday, March 9, 2003 8:36 PM CST

---

Grant, Alison, Hunter, Hayden, & Adison,
We hope you have a great week. You are in our prayers.
With Love,
The Pyles
Ellisville, MO - Sunday, March 9, 2003 6:56 PM CST

---

Although I tend to "lurk" a little more these days please know I continue to think of you!
Tanda
- Sunday, March 9, 2003 6:22 PM CST

---

Just checking on you and family. Let us know if you need anything while Grant is away. Sarah would be happy to help with the kids. If you need someone just call... Hope you get to feel better. Thinking of you and yours.

Evelyn Johnson
Evelyn Johnsoln <gecsa@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Sunday, March 9, 2003 6:18 PM CST

---

Hi my name is Ruthie. We lost our sweet son Seth to ALL on 11/30/02. I have been following Alexandria's story for some time now. I am again so sorry for your loss. Know that we care.
Much Peace and God Bless
Ruthie (Seth's mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/sethlovestrains <Rbunkmann@msn.com>
North Palm Beach, Fl - Sunday, March 9, 2003 2:14 PM CST

---

I wanted you to know that I visited your web pages today and offered a prayer for your family as you continue to struggle with the battle. Words escape me when I try to express my feelings of how very unfair it seems. I can just hope that the memories of your sweetie will shadowed the pain of her loss and bring you happiness.
Love is the best medicine!
Ivy.....www.caringbridge.org/wa/cameronboyd

ivy <poisenivj@aol.com>
lynnwood, wa usa - Sunday, March 9, 2003 12:37 AM CST

---

Dear Alison,
I know you will miss Michelle as she will miss you too. It will be a long week while Grant is out of town. Stay busy! Take care of yourself and hope you feel better soon.
We are always thinking about you and your family and of course Alexandria.
Jane, Doug, Andy and Ryan Sheats
Springboro, OH - Sunday, March 9, 2003 12:03 AM CST

---

Stay strong- I know Alexandria is watching over you all. love,
the Day family <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Sunday, March 9, 2003 10:18 AM CST

---

ALLISON, GRANT AND THE KIDS
I WANTED TO SHARE A STORY FROM FRIDAY. FIRST I JUST MISSED BEING IN A TERRIBLE CAR ACCIDENT, WHY I DID NOT GO WHEN THE LIGHT WAS GREEN? LATER IN THE DAY LISA AND THE KIDS WORKED ALL DAY ON SPECIAL DINNER. WHEN I REMOVED THE BEAUTIFUL ENTR'E FROM THE OVEN THE GLASS COOKWARE EXPLODED SPRAYING HOT GREASE AND GLASS EVERYWHERE. UNBELIVEABLY NO ONE WAS HURT. LATER LISA MADE THE COMMENT THAT WE MUST HAVE A GUARDIAN ANGEL WATCHING OVER US. I THOUGHT TO MY SELF "MAYBE WE DO". AS I THOGHT OF YOUR SPECIAL ALEXANDRIA. YOU ARE ALWAYS IN OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. CHRIS
CHRIS WILLIAMS <clklus@yahoo.com>
BALLWIN, MO U.S.A. - Sunday, March 9, 2003 9:22 AM CST

---

Alison,
I'm sorry that you are sick. Take care of yourself. I am so glad that you've had family and friends to lean on. I know that support has been tremendous for you. I'm glad the children are talking about Alexandria. It's good for them to let it out. The thought of little sissy kissing the pictures is so sweet, and so heart-breaking. Bless your family and know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you.
Debbie Little <www.caringbridge.org/tn/littlecaleb>
Dickson, TN - Sunday, March 9, 2003 1:40 AM CST

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Just wanted to let you know I have been thinking about you all. Missed not seeing any writings this week but understand. Please feel better Allison and take care. Loving thoughts and prayers to you all.
Love, Gwen Scott
- Sunday, March 9, 2003 0:50 AM CST

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I hope you feel better. God bless and stay strong.
Jeanette ( Jalen's Mommy ) www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <tru2200@aol.com>
Wellington, Fl - Saturday, March 8, 2003 10:34 PM CST

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Thinking of you tonight and praying for your family.
Janet Sims-mom to Janie, forever 5 years-old www.caringbridge.org/al/janiesims
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, March 8, 2003 10:07 PM CST

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You are all still close in thought and prayers.

Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NCM, NJ - Saturday, March 8, 2003 7:38 PM CST

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I wanted to say hello and you are always in our prayers.
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy)
- Saturday, March 8, 2003 8:44 AM CST

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I wish I had some magic words that would make everything better, but I don't. All I can say is that I continue to pray for your family and that I can't keep from coming back to this site. Alexandria obviously touched many hearts as is evident by the tremendous amount of support you are receiving. God bless you all.
Billy Bruce
Ironton, Oh - Saturday, March 8, 2003 8:14 AM CST

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Dear haddocks- I hope you are having a good weekend. I know it's hard, but I bet your children are giving you so much comfort right now. They have the amazing ability to go on in the face of anything. Kody's letter about walking the relay was so sweet. So many wonderful people are in your life right now. Alexandria is profoundly missed by those who knew her, and those who never got the chance. Love-
the Day family <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Saturday, March 8, 2003 8:07 AM CST

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We just wanted to let you know that your family continues to be in our thoughts and prayers. We will always remember your precious Alexandria and the battle she fought, with incredible strength and courage! Take care and God bless you all.

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Saturday, March 8, 2003 7:08 AM CST

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What an incredible testimony of Faith and Love. Your daughter was a very precious child surrounded by such wonderful caring, loving, and faithful parents and siblings. I suspect that your Journey has reached many lives that may otherwise have been lost. Your daughter is continueing in her mission field even as she plays at the foot of Jesus. May His Peace, Comfort, and Love envelope you all with the warmth that only He can provide at this difficult time.
With our deepest sympathies for the loss of your precious one--The Olsens <olsens5@execpc.com>
Waukesha, WI USA - Saturday, March 8, 2003 1:09 AM CST

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Dear Haddocks,
Just stopped by to let you know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. We feel for your huge loss and pray to God that you all find peace. Sending lots of love your way (jack-colby's daddy forever & ever)
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby
UNIONTOWN, PA USA - Friday, March 7, 2003 9:31 PM CST

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Just wanted you to know that you are never far from my thoughts and prayers. Blessings!
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Friday, March 7, 2003 2:22 PM CST

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You are amazingly strong! I heard about your sweet angel reading other sites on Caring Bridge and have been sitting at my office sobbing, tears of sorrow and tears of joy. I am very much like you in that writing is a way I am able to cope with difficult times and I am touched by you sharing such intimate feelings. Your daughter is a gorgeous Angel, looking down on you so proudly! As a mother too, we always carry with us the spirit of our children, I believe your daughter left you with a precious gift, a gift of strength and you are right! You are doing exactly what she would want you to. Thank you for sharing your journey with us....I am a stranger, but one who has forever been touched by you and your beautiful Angel...my prayers are with you and your family!
Taryn Hamen
Parker, CO - Friday, March 7, 2003 11:47 AM CST

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Dear Alison,Grant,Hunter,Hayden, and Addison,
Here is a wonderful poem for you for today.

"I think about how much I miss her,
and start to feel sorry for myself...
but then I think about all the people
who never got the chance to meet her,
and I start to feel sorry for them."

~Author Unknown~

I know that Alexandria is your inspiration for going on each day, just as Delaney is our inspiration. What we continue to receive from their lives is a gift worth living for and sharing with others.
Amy, Mom of Angel Delaney and Kevin, age 10 <www.caringbridge.com/ca/delaney>
San Diego, CA USA - Friday, March 7, 2003 11:17 AM CST

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Hi Haddocks! I was thinking about you yesterday - a family with children moved onto Crimson View - in the house next to your old house - and it was so great to see "KIDS" outside again! It reminded me of when you used to live there... there were always some Haddock children, plus others..., playing in the yard! Brought back fun memories! Take care - we're praying for you constantly.
The Tojo's
Ellisville, - Friday, March 7, 2003 10:27 AM CST

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Just wanted the Haddcock family to know that you are continuously in our hearts and prayers here in Jefferson City, Missouri. I continue to read your journal entries and the other notes that people write to you. I truly hope that someday you will think about publishing your journal entries in a book. Your entire family has been an inspiration to us all and has brought me closer to my faith. I'm sure Alexandria is enjoying eternal happiness in heaven with our Heavenly Father.
karenh@mosers.org <karenh@mosers.org>
Jefferson City, MO USA - Friday, March 7, 2003 9:39 AM CST

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Hello Haddock Family!
Just wanted you to know that my son Kody, will be leading the Survivor Lap tonight at the American Cancer Society's Relay-for-Life. He is in school now but he insisted I leave you this message...here goes, please try to imagine this in a 7 year olds handwriting...thanks! :0)
"Dear ALexandrias Momme an Dadde Hi my name is Kody and I think your little gurl is a very pretti angle now and i want you to now that i am walking 15 laps for her and Hunter tonite. i hope that i can raze enouf money to find a cure for all the sick childrin. love kody k."
Well guys...that's all Kodys words...and he has promised to walk all 15 laps, and he will do it even if I have to carry him!!
Take Care all....we think, pray and check in on you all everyday.
Love, Kim and Kody

Kim Kruppenbacher <KODYS STORY>
Leesburg, FL - Friday, March 7, 2003 9:09 AM CST

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Hi Alison, Grant, Hunter, Hayden, & Addison

Just wanted to let you know you are in our thoughts today as always. Your testimony on the radio yesterday was beautiful. Taylor can't wait for the kids to come over and play on the new swingset since we are getting a couple of warm days. See you soon. Love Sheryl
Sheryl Andrasko
O'Fallon, MO 63366 - Friday, March 7, 2003 8:24 AM CST

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You are a very special and brave family. Thank you for sharing your beautiful child with us. I am not going to pretend to know what you are going through, just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Just hold onto that old hymn " The Family Circle". Because one day youwill be with your beautiful baby girl.
Donna Hurley <hurley76@charter.net>
Princeton, WV USA - Friday, March 7, 2003 7:10 AM CST

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Dear Alison,Grant,Hunter,Hayden, and Addison,
Thinking about you and Alexandria every day. May God continue to give you the strengh you need. Thank you for sharing the beautiful pictures.
Jane,Doug,Andy and Ryan Sheats
Springboro, OH - Thursday, March 6, 2003 8:24 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks- just checking in to let you know we're thinking of you. Take things at your own pace and know that so many people are behind you. Love,
the Day family <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Thursday, March 6, 2003 7:40 PM CST

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I heard your story on the Steve and DC show this morning and I know the pain yo uare going through. I lost my daughter Elizabeth nine months ago to leukemia. She had AML. When I hear your story this morning it really hit me and I was crying because it had brought back all pain and everything that she had to endure. I want you know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Rita Keene www.caringbridge.org/wv/elizabethkeene
Rita Keene <rkeene8568@yahoo.com>
Iaeger, WV - Thursday, March 6, 2003 6:31 PM CST

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Your family is on my mind right now and I wanted you to know we still pray daily for all of you. Best Wishes and God Bless!
Chris, Karen, Taylor and Mason Smith
Ballwin, - Thursday, March 6, 2003 4:02 PM CST

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I'm a Steve and DC listener who saw your link in their daily diary. Your story has really pulled at my heartstrings especially since I have an 8 year old son and can only imagine how you must be feeling right now. May God be with your family during this very tough time, aid in your healing and continue to show you blessings.
God Bless.
Sonya Delaney <sdelaney@eproviders.net>
Gordon, GA USA - Thursday, March 6, 2003 12:36 AM CST

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Just letting you know that I was stopping by to check on you. I am continuing to pray for your dear family during this difficult time.
In Him,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Thursday, March 6, 2003 11:18 AM CST

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Stay on your child's team, even when it appears to be a losing team. You'll have the rest of your life to enjoy mutual fellowship if you don't overreact in frustration now. Dr. James Dobson, Parenting isn't for Cowards, p.227

When the Holy Spirit controls our lives he will produce....patience. Galatians 5:22
Jack Pyle
Ellisville, - Thursday, March 6, 2003 8:43 AM CST

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Alison....

You are on my heart this morning, and I am saying a prayer for you and your family. Your journaling is written so beautifully with the honesty of a hurting heart. You have the gift of putting into words what many others feel and have felt walking the same path in life. God is using your testimony to bless in countless ways which can be seen by looking into this guest book.
Alexandria's story is not about death, but Eternal life. Thank you, in the name of Jesus, for sharing this bright Hope with all of us.

May God's grace and mercies give to you all, the strength to get through each day, moment by moment. "Be of good courage, and he shall strenthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord." Psalms 31:24 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. 1 Peter 1:3.

Praising our Father for you and your family.

Sherry

Sherry Wideman
St. Clair, Mo. - Thursday, March 6, 2003 8:31 AM CST

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This morning on my way into work, I was 'surfing' the radio stations, when I heard what appeared to be a letter being read about an amazing young girl - I only had to hear a few words before I was sure that they were talking about your beautiful little girl. What an amazing tribute to her - the letter conveyed perfectly what so many of us are feeling. Alexandria continues to touch the lives of so many of us, and I'm sure that anyone listening to what I heard this morning has now also been touched by your precious little girl's journey. I can't thank you enough for continuing to share with your 'web family' - you are truly a blessing to us all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Thursday, March 6, 2003 8:12 AM CST

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Alison,
As I was sitting behind you at the church service this evening and the preacher was talking about all of us needing to share the gospel and being a true testimony to Christ there was a wonderful, beautiful light shining off of your earrings. I immediately thought of what a light Alexandria was and is to this world -- a true little evangelist. I think in the months and years to come you will truly see people come to know the Lord because of your little angel and your entire families testimony of faith. I pray for strength, peace and understanding in the difficult days ahead. Thank you once again for sharing your daughter with us all. She was and is the epitome of being "the salt and light of this world". In Christ, Jennifer Mobarak
J mobarak
- Wednesday, March 5, 2003 11:44 PM CST

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Your family and angel Alexandria remain in my thoughts and prayers. You remain an inspiration to so many.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 10:52 PM CST

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The pictures are so adorable! You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA. - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 6:50 PM CST

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We continue to hold you up in prayer and Kailie's Daddy is going to bring a wonderful book that has been written by a Chaplin at the hospital where I work. We pray God in His goodness blesses it to your heart as much as he has many others.
Carla Rhines (Kailie's Grandma) <rrhines@kc.rr.com>
Kansas City, KS - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 3:48 PM CST

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You are ALL in my thoughts and prayers daily. Daisys have always been one of my favorite flowers. I will see the love and strength of Alexandria in them everytime I see one!
Aunt Cindy
Woodinville, WA USA - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 3:13 PM CST

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Alison and Grant, You are always in our prayers. Alexandria is dancing and laughing and healthy in Heaven.
It is hardest on those who are left behind. I know you are missing her. Please know we are here to lean on whenever you need it.
Tammy
Tammy Whalen <dtkmdwhalen@cs.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 3:04 PM CST

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Still praying for all of you. You have such an amazing outlook on life and because of Alexandria's outlook, we are ALL better off. What amazing faith!!
Kelley Johnson <kjtaxi4kids@msn.com>
Westerville, OH - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 12:53 AM CST

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Dear Haddocks,
I think of you all many times throughout the day. You're in our prayers!! Love the pictures!!


Kelli Giles Lanza
Cincinnati, OH - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 11:38 AM CST

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I believe you are handling this moment in your life with the greatest amount of grace I have witnessed in a long time. Although I do not know you or your family, your entries, as well as your husband's, have been beautiful and open. I will continue to pray for you and your family and know that Alexandria is dancing in heaven.

Much love and many prayers,

Wendy Ruth
Wendy Ruth Paxton <wendy.paxton@carolinashealthcare.org>
Rock Hill, SC USA - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 11:27 AM CST

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I read your journal entry and was very touched by it. It made me sad but also I was warmed by it. Thank you for sharing your feelings.

DeAnna <www.caringbridge.org/ga/chasesmiracle/>
Ga USA - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 11:26 AM CST

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Dearest Haddock Family,


LIFE IS NOT MEASURED BY THE BREATH WE TAKE.... BUT BY THE MOMENTS THAT TAKE OUR BREATH!!

The memories of Alexandria will always be present! Alison and Grant you should be so proud of your beautiful girl!!

Forever Friends,
Nancy
Nancy Cole
- Wednesday, March 5, 2003 10:52 AM CST

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Still keeping you in my prayers. You are all so awesome!
Paula
Chesterfield, mo - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 10:45 AM CST

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Sometimes the words are hard to find. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Alexandria. I celebrate her life and the many things she taught others about living. May God comfort you in every way. Thank you for sharing her with us!
Kim ~
Hannah's page
Tn - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 9:40 AM CST

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Each morning, I automatically check 2 websites - one being the daily devotional of my church, the other being the wonderful spiritual testimony left by you on this website. And both warm my heart beyond words every day.
Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us. God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 8:48 AM CST

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Allison and Grant-

Just a little note to let you know at how much you and your family daily are in my thoughts and prayers. Not only were you very blessed to have such a wise, beyond her years, spiritual beautiful child, she too was extremely blessed to have such wonderfully dedicated and devoted parents as you are. I know I am speaking for all out there when I say "GOD BLESS AND THANK YOU" for opening our eyes as to what is important in life. Life is to short to sweat the small stuff. May you continue to draw your daily strength from God and know that I am here for you.

God Bless


Dawn Dains <daisydains@msn.com>
O'Fallon, MO usa - Wednesday, March 5, 2003 8:31 AM CST

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Alison, I'm still checking in to see how you and your family are doing. I think of you every day. Your family is in our prayers.
The Schroeder family
Amy (Armbruster) Schroeder <mattamys@yahoo.com>
Eureka, MO - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 11:33 PM CST

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Alison,

Just checking in to see how you are all doing. I know that there must be hundreds of times a day that you are reminded of Alexandria. We were all so blessed to have known her. She was truly special. Our thoughts and prayers are still with you.

Love,

Dan, Sally, Tommy and Emma
The Forness Family <forness2321@earthlink.net>
Ellisville, MO USA - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 9:48 PM CST

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Just checking in, hope all is better. Hope you continue to have good days. The bad will still be hanging around, but will be not be able to push out the good ones. Your journal is so moving and I admire you so much. You truly have the gift of words. Praying for peace and comfort in those quite nights. Sorry I didn't get to speak to you tonight, but know I am always thinking of you and yours.
Hope you enjoyed dinner.

Evelyn Johnson

Evelyn Johnson <gecsa@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 9:02 PM CST

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What beautiful, beautiful pictures. I never knew Alexandria but your photos and journal entries have given me a little glimpse of her spirit and grace. She's a beautiful child and she was so blessed to have you all for a family. Thank you for sharing your story - it has all been an inspiration for me to be a better person, mother, wife and friend.
Dawn M
Wake Forest, NC - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 8:59 PM CST

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Hi:
I've visited Alexandria's site many times both before and after she earned her angel wings. I know God had a reason for unveiling His master plan in the manner in which it unfolded through Alexandria, and I am sure it was to strengthen the faith of others, because every time I read your site I feel renewed in my faith. Your life reflects a beautiful message of Christianity.
Vickie
MN - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 8:40 PM CST

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Dear Haddock family- first of all one or both of you needs to go into the ministry- your outlook is so incredibly deep and powerful. Secondly, there's no right way to grieve. The saddest, most miserable person does not win the " I loved her the most" prize. There's no question that you will never stop loving, missing, or grieving for Alexandria. If anyone would have a thought otherwise, they obviously don't know you. You are trying to get back to some semblance of normalcy, and when things get too difficult, you take a step back. That's exactly what you should do, for yourselves and for your children. I'm so impressed with your strength and dignity. I can't imagine how difficult it must to come across her things on a daily basis. We think about you all of the time and pray for you to get through this the best you can. Love,
the Day family <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 8:09 PM CST

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Grant, Alison, Hunter, Hayden and Addison,

May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly
where you are meant to be.

"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to
our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."


Love and ((((((HUGS)))))) to you all

Eva
- Tuesday, March 4, 2003 7:35 PM CST

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As I read your entries a rush of memories comes over me. I think about what it was like to lose a brother and can't begin to imagine it being my child. I can tell you that the grief changes daily and fortunalty, although sometimes it does not seem so, you will always have reminders of your daughter. I believe the journal entries will not only be an inspiration to others but a healing process for you. I find after 20+ years I still look to Mark for advice, comfort, support and approval. He has been a constant inspiration in my life to be a better person and make him proud of me. Your family will continue to be in my prayers and I thank you for you constant inspiration. I really like the pictures - keep them coming!
Tanda Smith <tsmith003@charter.net>
Cape Girardeau, MO - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 6:59 PM CST

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Alison,
That was one of the best written and most heart-wrenching things I've ever read. God bless you for just taking the time to type it all out. I'm keeping your family in my prayers.
Billy Bruce
- Tuesday, March 4, 2003 6:18 PM CST

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My family and I are still thinking about you and yours daily. Many times I talk to them about lessons I'd recieved from reading your journal. Molly had her check up today ..cbc's, etc. She said that she wished she could have known Alexandria at "clinic". I know that she is watching over all children with cancer from her "pink cloud" in heaven.
I think about Alexandria's siblings often and hope that they are coping with all that has happened to your family recently. I pray they are doing well.
Your entry about finding Alexandria's clothing in the laundry room brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine how hard these moments have been. Your faith in God is inspiring. Please know that we have not forgotten our "friends" in MO.
Love, the Healys
E. Healy <fitNJpro@aol.com>
waldwick, nj - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 5:50 PM CST

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Dear Alison and family,
I have been unable to check in for a few days, but was so moved by your journal entry yesterday. I continue to think of all of you daily and pray for you to feel God's presence surrounding you. Alexandria was such a special child. Her words of wisdom are so profound that they bring tears to my eyes and love to my heart for a child I have never met.
In Christ,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 4:49 PM CST

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Thinking of you and wishing you a peaceful night's rest.
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 3:18 PM CST

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Just checking in to see how you and your family are doing, was once again blessed by your journal entry....
Elaine R.
St. Charles, Mo - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 2:36 PM CST

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Dear Alison,
I check in to let you know how much we are thinking of you and your family. I have learned and continue to learn so much from you. Alexandria has forever changed my life and I thank you everyday for sharing your inner thoughts,feelings and faith.
Jane Sheats
Springboro, OH - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 2:18 PM CST

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I check back daily for inspiration. I see you coming through this much stronger than when you started this fight. Thank you so much for sharing the beautiful pictures of your "angel" Alexandria. I'm sure she's up in heaven saying "Mommy don't worry, I'm okay now". I get moved to tears each and every time I visit your site. I will pray that a cure is found for leukemia sooner than later. No more children should die of this horrid disease.
Connie Gross <cgross@erac.com>
St. Louis, MO 63123 - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 1:18 PM CST

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Alison, I continue to be amazed by your faith and your strength. I think about you and the rest of the family often.
Grace and Peace,
Kristy Forbes
St. Mark Presbyterian Church
Ballwin, MO - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 12:03 AM CST

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Hi Haddocks!

We are thinking of you and praying for you today, as we do everyday. We will never stop because we know that it will be always, until you see Alexandria again, that you miss your precious girl. We have shared the back of her "Celebration of Life" program to others and it has touched many hearts that a 9 year old would have that kind of grasp of the reason for her suffering and how it affected her life. What an awesome testimony your little girl continues to be. God bless you all today!

Love,
John & Johnelle Rhines www.caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie <kares4kailie@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 11:58 AM CST

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Your entries are so inspiring and heartlfelt. Although I don't think I know you nor did I know your precious girl, my heart aches for you. My prayers & tears go out to you & your family in this most difficult time. May your sweet angel give you the strength and courage to go on with life and know that she is forever with you and a part of you. May
you feel the soft breeze of her pink tipped wings on beautiful spring days when the spring flowers are blooming and signs of new life are all around. She is with you.
Eileen Spratt (Aunt of Jackie Roth) <etspratt@aol.com>
Eureka, MO - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 10:53 AM CST

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Alison,
Once again your journal entry reaches the best seller list. You amaze me. How you have the strength and energy to continue sharing such wonderful stories with everyone is awesome. I wish I could be just like you. Great Pictures. Always in my thoughts and prayers.
Sharyn Duncan
- Tuesday, March 4, 2003 10:28 AM CST

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Alison,
It's amazing how much wisdom you pack into each journal entry! You are so inspiring for us ~ thank you for continuing to update the entries. I check in daily and pray for your family several times a day. I know that Alexandria is proud of how you are handling the daily grief you face and also the way you are carrying on with Hunter, Hayden and Addison. No one could ever forget Alexandria ~ she has made a profound change in each of our lives.
Nina
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 10:16 AM CST

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Alison, Once again as I read your words I am in total awe of the strength you have, and what an amazing lady you are. I think of you daily, and wonder how you are doing. I am sure Alexandria is looking down on you with a smile on her face, so proud of how you are doing. I will keep you and your family in our prayers, thanks for being such a great inspiration and example!
Tonya <www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
- Tuesday, March 4, 2003 10:10 AM CST

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Thanks for checking Morgan's page and offering words of encouragement.
Words can not express how sorry I am about the loss of your precious daughter. Hold tight to the fact that there will someday be a wonderful reunion in heaven and she will be perfect the next time you see her.
MORGAN'S PAGE

Jerry, Allison, Morgan, & Holden Barnes <allisonbarnes@triad.rr.com>
Lewisville, NC - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 9:46 AM CST

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I just wanted to let you know that I still check your site daily and am keeping your family in my prayers. Your posts are always so beautifully written, and I draw my own children a little closer each time I read them. I'm also enjoying the cute pictures of Alexandria, thank you for sharing her with us. Take care of yourselves,
Kathi (my daughter Melanie has ALL)
Cadillac, MI - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 9:45 AM CST

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Alison, thank you once again for my spiritual nourishment. That is the reason why I keep coming back to your site, to be fed spiritually. My soul just yearns to hear what you have to share. You are a perfect example of "Thy Will be Done"
May God continue to bless, comfort and heal your wounds. Your precious angel from up above is watching over her family, sending lots of love and comfort through others as she also continues to do God's work from where she is.
Thank you again, for sharing your journey with all of us. You truly are an inspiration, a light of hope.
Lynn
- Tuesday, March 4, 2003 9:17 AM CST

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Well said Allison, well, said...thank you, Kathy Charlton...Mom to my own heavenly son, Robert Charlton
Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel <ckcharlton@aol.com>
West Palm Beach , FL - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 8:30 AM CST

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Allison, your words are so beautiful, and continue to be so inspiring. You are an amazing example of what a mother should be - if every child had a mother whose soul was as beautiful as yours, I do believe our world would be a much much better place. Yesterday was such a beautiful day, and on my way home from work, I saw just a piece of a rainbow, and it made me think of Alexandria and all of her new 'friends' in Heaven, and I couldn't help but smile. They might not be here with us on Earth, but they are definitely with us each and every day. God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 8:14 AM CST

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Alison, Wow you can write beautiful entries. You have summed up your feelings so well. I will continue to check on you several times a day. I spend way too much time on the computer these days, we all cope differently and that is my way of coping. I have alot of the same feelings that you do. I said just yesterday to my sister that Adam was able to accomplish in 13 years everything that God wanted him to. The sicker he got the closer he got to God. OK enough babbling for now, just know I check all the time on you and continue to pray for your family.
Ruth Trombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
- Tuesday, March 4, 2003 8:11 AM CST

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Dear Alison and Family,
You are in my thoughts and prayers daily and I only wish I could take away just a little of your pain. I guess with the gift of life, we must experience both happiness and sadness. I look up to you and the way you are coping with all you have been through. Please continue to write because you inspire so many around you.
RBachman <rzanneb@aol.com>
St. Peters, Mo USA - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 7:38 AM CST

---

It was so great to see you & the kids tonight. I really enjoyed visiting with you, but so sorry I stayed so long. (& please pitch that nasty old cookie sheet). Surprisingly, I only had 2 missed calls on my cell--both from Amanda. Well, I woke up with things on my mind & am thinking about you possibly awake too, so thought I would just drop you a quick note. You have one special angel smiling down on you from heaven!!! She truly has been light for the Lord here on earth & for that we are grateful. We feel very blessed to know your family. You are continually in our prayers.
The Pyle Family
- Tuesday, March 4, 2003 4:18 AM CST

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Alexandria's story really is inspiring. She was definitely wise beyond her years! The way she looked at having cancer in a somewhat positive way is unbelievable! I'm looking forward to seeing more pictures of her and your family, and also getting to know more about Alexandria. Don't worry about what others thing about how you're grieving. I think you are going about it the only way you can. I can relate to the days of keeping busy, and the lonely nights. I experienced this after I lost a great friend of mine (and that's not even comparable to losing a child). Anyways, I just want to thank you for taking the time to share your story with us, and let you know I am continuing to pray for your family!
Sara <saramoser110@hotmail.com>
Mankato, MN - Monday, March 3, 2003 11:37 PM CST

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Grant, Alison, and family:
We are so saddened by the world's loss and God's gain. We heard about Alexandria's passing long after the fact, and are even sadder about that. You have been in our thoughts and prayers for some time and although I wish we would have stayed in touch over the past couple of years; it comforts us to know that you have had plenty of folks to keep you busy.
Alexandria was an amazing child from all that we have heard, most certainly because of amazing parents and the support you gave her. We applaud you for your strength and faith, it is amazing.
Thank you for letting us share Alexandria's life, at least through your words here on the website. It truly makes us look at our own life and four children in a different way; and we thank you and your family for that.
We will pray for you and will most certainly think of you often. God Bless!
Dan and Lauretta Lowery <danglowery@msn.com>
Ballwin, MO USA - Monday, March 3, 2003 11:35 PM CST

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Allison,
Hello I am Ryan Grumish's cousin Jennifer. I am so sorry for your loss.

Mine & Ryan's Grandmother past away a year ago on February 27th. She battled breast cancer for almost 12 years. She was such a fighter. Her birthday would of been of the 17th of February and the anniversary of her death last week made me think about a mass I went to a mass on Lost Soul's day last year at church. My priest (who lost a 4 year old nephew to leukemia) said he thinks of grieving as emptying buckets. After someone we love passes we have all these buckets full of tears and buckets for grieving inside each of us, and with every cry we empty another one. He said they will never be totally empty, but each of us has our own way or grieving. Maybe be cry all day one day and then maybe we have a few days of no tears at all. Sometimes he thought if you had a memory of the person you lost and thought about it without crying that this too emptied a bucket. In time we all deal with things different. I know talking about buckets in Church is wierd but it really helped me to think about it a little different.

He also says for any of those people who say hurry up and move on or it's been a month or two get over it. He says to tell those people to BUG OFF & no one has to hurry up with their grief. Each of us will move on in our own time. By moving a little forward, at our own pace we never have to lose our memories of the person we lost.

Even with writing this to you today I feel I emptied another one of those little buckets inside me.

I miss my Grandma so very much but, I know she is up there watching over me.

My 5 year old daughter (Tyler), my 9 year old daughter (Jordan) & I will all continue to Pray for you.

With all my Love & Prayers, Jennifer www.ryangrumish.com
Jennifer <greenboys4@aol.com>
Bradley, IL - Monday, March 3, 2003 11:26 PM CST

---

You are always in our prayers, and you all will never be forgotten. I think you are doing great being there for your other children and giving them reasons to see happiness still. You are so strong, just like Alexandria would want you to be, but you are also human and I could immagine going through her items, how hard it must be. Give yourself time. Have someone help you so you can share each memory, I know you have so many great friends and family to help , when you are ready. Yes you all have touched so many lives, and before I met you all if I would have came across a site where someone had lost a child I think I would had been so sad and I would have just wanted to ignore that this tragedy had taken place. But you all are different and you have showed through your neverending faith how to be what everyone of us would want in ourselves to be. You make people want to help and bring out the best in others around you. What I am trying to say is your family is such a blessing!(I hope this made since)
Lee Ann (Kristan's mommy)
- Monday, March 3, 2003 11:02 PM CST

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I am sorry for you loss. Your daughter is beautiful. Thank you for sharing her with me. God bless you and your family. Eileen
eileen <franklaperuta@yahoo.com>
- Monday, March 3, 2003 9:43 PM CST

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It is always a blessing to read what you write here. Thank you for sharing your memories and feelings with us.-
Be blessed,
danette
Danette Prater www.caringbridge.com/tx/jacobprater <jakesmom@wt.net>
Santa Fe , tx - Monday, March 3, 2003 9:33 PM CST

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Just checking in with you.....letting you know that the love that surrounds you will never go away. Each sunrise brings a new day...some good, some not so good. But rejoice that God has, indeed, given us a new day....and in the day, something beautiful, should we choose to see it.
Stay strong.
Janice Frisella
- Monday, March 3, 2003 9:29 PM CST

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Thinking of you and hoping and praying that you all are getting by right now. I will be looking forward to seeing all your pictures.
Dianne Roth <pjroth@bigrivertel.net www.caringbridge.org/mo/jackiesjourney>
Cape Girardeau, MO - Monday, March 3, 2003 8:59 PM CST

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Just checking in for an update. Glad to hear there are some good days. I think of Alexandria often and I pray for your family's comfort and strength in the weeks and months ahead.
Alice( aunt to Heaven's Angel Janie) <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Monday, March 3, 2003 7:28 PM CST

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Hi Grant and Alison, I'm just lurking around to see how you are doing. By now I'm sure that Alexandria has checked with all of the other kids and is satisfied that her parents were the very best set that God could give her. You did everything you could to keep her here on earth, but God had other plans for your little angel. Plans for no pain, no IV lines attached, no sick tummies, no chemo, no radiation, no port or broviac. He did what he thought best for Alexandria, and while we had hoped for a different plan, she is healed and pain free.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO - Monday, March 3, 2003 7:23 PM CST

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Alexandria.......

God's Garden


God looked around His garden
And found an empty place
He then looked down upon the earth
And saw your tired face

He put His arms around you
And lifted you to rest
God's garden must be beautiful,
He always takes the best

He knew that you were suffering
He knew you were in pain,
He knew that you would never
Get well on earth again.

He saw the road was getting rough
And the hills were hard to climb
So He closed your weary eyelids,
And whispered "Peace Be Thine."

It breaks our hearts to lose you
But you didn't go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.

Love and ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
Eva <KWfan4ever@yahoo.com>
Marcellus, MI - Monday, March 3, 2003 7:03 PM CST

---

"Be strong in the Lord" Ephesians 6:10
We will never know our level of genuine faith until it is tested in a fierce storm. That is why our savior is on board. If you are ever to be "strong in the Lord" your strength will be born during a storm.
member of Dardenne Presbyterian
- Monday, March 3, 2003 6:51 PM CST

---

I have thought of you all so many times. We celebrated the life of my grandmother the same day as Alexandrias. She was 90 and lived a long and wonderful life. How could I be sad when she lived until 90 and dear Alexandria was only 9 1/2. I am in total awe of you. I hope every minute will get a little easier for you as the days continue. You have been in my thoughts and prayers even though I have not written.
A big hug to you,
Edwina
Edwina Noffel Johnson
- Monday, March 3, 2003 6:30 PM CST

---

Alison,
Today I went up to the church cemetary (we are members of the same church) and just stood by Alexandria's grave. I just couldn't stop crying, even though I never had the chance to meet her, I still felt like I knew her. So many of my friends know your family, and I was updated on the situation for months. I have read your journal daily since September and prayed for you many, many times. I also saw Grant up at the YMCA with the boys one day, it was nice to see him trying to find a way to go on with life. I recognized Hayden and had to turn my head because I just started to cry, maybe it doesn't make since but my heart was just breaking for your family. I wanted to tell him how truly sorry I was to hear of Alexandria's passing, but I thought he might be enjoying the moment with his sons and may not want to discuss it with a stranger. It is difficult for other people at times because they aren't sure what to say to you. Please understand how much we all do care. I am so glad you update your journal from time to time. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I also hope to have the opportunity to meet you some day. God Bless all of you!

Someone who cares
- Monday, March 3, 2003 6:16 PM CST

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God Bless you and your family....I know Alexandria must be so PROUD so have such a wonderful family.
lori dietz <nevlor_2000@yahoo.com>
baldwin park, ca usa - Monday, March 3, 2003 5:23 PM CST

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Thank you for continuing to update your journal. It continues to give me my recommended daily allowance of perspective. Our prayers continue for your entire family.
Rob Erusha
Ellisville, MO - Monday, March 3, 2003 4:59 PM CST

---

Just checking in today to see how you are doing. I prayed for you guys at my adoration time at church today. I pray for you everyday anyway.
Keeping you always in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Judy Grumish
Judy Grumish <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il United States - Monday, March 3, 2003 3:37 PM CST

---

Hi guys- just wanted to check in and let you know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much for keeping this site updated. Your strength and commitment to God continue to be such an inspiration for us.

Love Sheryl
Sheryl Andrasko
O'Fallon, MO 63366 - Monday, March 3, 2003 2:47 PM CST

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" Everything will turn to GOOD for those who trust in GOD.
He comes with healings on his wings to Save and Set thee free."
Author Unknown

- Monday, March 3, 2003 2:14 PM CST

---

Alison,
I am so tahnkful that you update this as much as possible. I feel very conneced to you without feeling like I am bothering you by calling on the phone. I know that there are times in your day that seem unbearable and my heart goes out to you each minute of each day. Pleaswe keep updating this. I think it is a 2 fold, some what therapy for you and keeping us all informed of how our favorite family is diong.
Lots of love,
Tracey
Tracey Mazur
- Monday, March 3, 2003 1:19 PM CST

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Thanks for the updates. We continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
The Shoemaker's <thomas.shoemaker@direcway.com>
O'fallon, Mo - Monday, March 3, 2003 10:45 AM CST

---

Dear Alison,Grant,Hunter,Hayden and Addison,
Thinking about you so much and praying for you all. The pictures are beautiful, my two year old, Ryan, loved the one of Alexandria sticking her tongue out!
The Sheats Family
- Monday, March 3, 2003 10:23 AM CST

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HELLO, YOU DON'T KNOW ME, BUT I'M A COLLEGE STUDENT WHO PRAYED AND KEPT UP WITH YOUR DAUGHTERS PROGRESS. THIS IS A TOUCHING STORY, AND LOOK FORRWARD TO YOUR UPDATES EVERYDAY. I RUN TO THE COMPUTER AT SCHOOL, AND COME STRAIGHT TO THIS WEB PAGE. WHATS SO INTERESTING TO ME IS THAT YOU KNOW GOD, THATS WHAT I ENJOY BEST. I WOULD BE INTERESTED IN PURCHASING ONE OF YOUR VIDEO'S IF POSSIBLE, WHEN I LOOKED AT HER SITTING IN FRONT OT THE GUITAR, I SAY TO MYSELF SHE LOOKED PEACEFUL AND LOOKED LIKED SHE ENJOYED EVERY MOMENT OF IT.
CAMESHIA <cameshia_hannah@yahoo.com>
MARTINSVILLE, VA - Monday, March 3, 2003 9:37 AM CST

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Peace be with your family and friends. God Bless your little Angel.
Catherine House
Midland Park, NJ - Monday, March 3, 2003 8:23 AM CST

---

Hi guys- just checking in to see how you are doing. I agree about the snow, and February in general. It is a miserable month , especially this year. I know how hard it must be for your kids to grasp the concept of death. Its finality is still hard for me to understand. And the poor cat sounds so miserable- poor little thing. Your days will get better. I love the snow day Alexandria sent her friends- I have no doubt she has some pull up there in heaven. Take care-
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Monday, March 3, 2003 8:09 AM CST

---

Thoughts and prayers continue to be with you all from afar.
I love all the photos of your precious, gorgeous Alexandria! I look forward to seeing more of them in the days to come. Thank you for sharing them with us.
Love & cuddles to all. Take care.
Liz & her precious gang, from Down Under!
XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. AUSTRALIA - Monday, March 3, 2003 6:05 AM CST

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Just wanted to let you know we are still praying for you and thinking of you always.....


www.caringbridge.org/ky/ryans.hope
Michele, Ryan's mom
Hebron, ky - Monday, March 3, 2003 0:31 AM CST

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My thoughts and prayers continue. Just checking the journal entry tonight...and I love to see that picture of Alexandria at the beach - happy times! I hope that you are all doing well, moment by moment.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego , CA - Sunday, March 2, 2003 11:31 PM CST

---

I know what you mean by time flying and crawling at the same time. I will continue to keep your entire family in my prayers. I understand.
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Sunday, March 2, 2003 11:17 PM CST

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So glad to hear that you're doing ok. We continue to pray and watch for updates - to see new pictures and read that your family is feeling God's (and Alexandria's!!) strength!


The Tojo's
- Sunday, March 2, 2003 11:13 PM CST

---

Hi - You don't know me, I found you on the caringbridge page. My friend's girl Tara that is nine has cancer. I
can't imagine what you are going through but I know in my heart that God is with you and will get you through the very hard times. I will keep you in my prayers
Judy
Judy
Sibley, IA USA - Sunday, March 2, 2003 6:18 PM CST

---

We're just stopping by to let you know that you are still in our thoughts and prayers. God bless you all.

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Sunday, March 2, 2003 4:37 PM CST

---

Alison,
I too have wandered many times why there's NO cure. Cancer has been around too long.
I hope this week isn't as hard on you all.
Keeping you in my prayers,

DeAnna <www.caringbridge.org/ga/chasesmiracle/>
Ga USA - Sunday, March 2, 2003 3:32 PM CST

---

Alison,
Thank you so much for the update on pictures, I really enjoy seeing Alexandria in healthier times. What a beautiful little girl! I'm sure she looks and feels just as happy now, as she does in your pictures.
someone who cares
O'Fallon, - Sunday, March 2, 2003 9:35 AM CST

---

I have not sent you a message this week, for that I am sorry it was selfish on my part. Sat moved me so much that words did not come easy. I watch my daughter Sarah cry and cry for Alexandria and it broke my heart, so I can't imagine what your heart is feeling. You and Grant have so much strength and spirt. Sarah wanted to tell Grant she was so sorry, but her words did not come, just the tears. He was composed at that time, but when he saw Sarah losing it, he huged her and comforted her and told her it would be OK. What a sweet and loving thing that was and I am sure Sarah will remember it forever. I pray for your peace and more good days. Thank you for touching our family.

Evelyn Johnson
Evelyn Johnson <gecsa@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Sunday, March 2, 2003 8:20 AM CST

---

Alison,
All I can do is read your posts and pray that you will be OK. You are so right when you say that Alexandria is "home" and feeling no more pain. I've read enough of your posts to know that your faith is in Jesus. Keep it there. He has a reason for everything...as hard as it is to accept right now. We'll understand in the future. Your child has touched me and many others she never met because of your writings. She lives on and makes a difference that you also won't know until later. I still pray for your family. God bless you! Thank you for that child!

Billy Bruce
Ironton, Oh - Sunday, March 2, 2003 2:07 AM CST

---

Always checking on your family and praying for your family. Today was also a hard day in our household, it was a year ago today that Adam relapsed. I just dont understand all of this cancer.
God Bless you
Ruth Trombino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
- Sunday, March 2, 2003 0:57 AM CST

---

Just checking in to see how you are all doing. I just read Ann's entry and it is true, I sincerely believe your sweet angel is sending you signs from heaven. I have had several people tell me how sick they are of the snow and I tell them about Alexandria and how it makes me smile thinking of her up there directing the heavens! I say bring it on! Isn't it strange how it even snowed in Jeruselum! Those children finally got a break from the thoughts of war to enjoy being kids and play in the snow. It may be just a coincidence but I feel better thinking she has something to do with it! I have had so many "God-incidences" since my parents passing. I used to think people were crazy when they talked about stuff like this but when you experience it yourself it makes you a believer. I pray you feel her presence. It is a wonderful feeling! She is happy and I know she wants all of us to be happy too. I pray for you every day.
Love and continued prayers,
Nancy Balkenbusch
Nancy Balkenbusch <nbalken@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Sunday, March 2, 2003 0:12 AM CST

---

You guys are still very much in my prayers. I have family praying for you as well. Write me whenever you are up to it. I very much consider you a part of my family and love you dearly. Blessings!
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Saturday, March 1, 2003 9:39 PM CST

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Dear Allison and Grant,

I do not personally know you or your family, but have been very touched by Alexandria's story. Just in my brief connection with your family via this website, I feel as if I have known Alexandria and your family forever. You are amazing people and Alexandria was an amazing little girl! Heaven is blessed to have such a sweet girl! Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share in her journey, and in your family's journey in the past couple weeks.
Susie <suze_q80@hotmail.com>
Taylorville, IL - Saturday, March 1, 2003 8:05 PM CST

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Dear Alison and Grant, Yesterday I was with Kathleen Maas-Stokes and she told me of Alexandria's journey. I am so sorry. Your daughter was so beautiful to watch at St. Mark. I especially remember watching her sing (and dance) during the Children's Choir performance. She stole the show here on earth and I am sure she is spreading joy in heaven. God bless you and your family.
Carolyn and Scott Phipps <Phippsjs@cs.com>
Naperville, IL USA - Saturday, March 1, 2003 7:28 PM CST

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Alison,
Continued prayers for you and the entire family. Thanks for sharing the beautiful pictures. I'm like Rob Erusha...lurking around everyday only because I care so much about you and how you all are doing.
Judy V
- Saturday, March 1, 2003 7:27 PM CST

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Sending love your way. Your family remains in my thoughts and prayers.
With love,
Haley Hastings <haleyhastings@yahoo.com>
Athens, GA - Saturday, March 1, 2003 6:59 PM CST

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I just wanted you to know that your still in my prayers.
Love,
Lisa
Lisa Mosley
St. Peters, MO USA - Saturday, March 1, 2003 6:18 PM CST

---

Hi Alison,
After reading your entry about the snow, I thought of what Nancy Balkenbusch was saying. The kids at Green Pines had not yet had a snow day even with all the snow we have had this year. But the Monday after Alexandria's ceremony was a snow day! She is convinced it was Alexandria's present to all her Green Pines friends. I also am looking forward to Spring as this is probably the toughest winter in so many ways we have had in years. I have to say February is not my favorite month. The people I have loved the most have left for heaven in February. My dad, my mom and now Alexandria. Thank goodness it is the shortest month.

I am looking forward to the crocuses and tulips showing up soon.

God Bless you,

Ann Newsham
- Saturday, March 1, 2003 6:06 PM CST

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Dear Alison & Family,
Today is my first day back visiting my friends on caringbridge. I needed several days away to regroup and get the courage to come back. "JACK'S BACK!" I didn't even know Alexandria, but I too miss her. May God let you know that she is in the best hands and grant your family peace and happiness. Sending lots of love your way (jack-colby's daddy forever & ever) THANKS FOR KEEPING MY FAMILY IN YOUR PRAYERS
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby
UNIONTOWN, PA USA - Saturday, March 1, 2003 4:44 PM CST

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Just thinking about you today, hoping everything is going well. Your all still in my prayers daily.
someone who cares
O'Fallon, - Saturday, March 1, 2003 2:30 PM CST

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We are so sorry for your loss. Our prayers are with you.
Florence Davis and Jana Davis Estes
New Madrid, Missouri - Saturday, March 1, 2003 2:07 PM CST

---

Alison,

Thank you so much for sharing all of the pictures of your beautiful Angel Alexandria!
Sending you all lots of love, ((((HUGS)))), thoughts and prayers!
God Bless you all
Eva
- Saturday, March 1, 2003 2:06 PM CST

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Alison, I am glad you find some comfort, thankful that you feel Alexandria's presence. I am terribly sorry for your loss.
Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Saturday, March 1, 2003 7:22 AM CST

---

We little knew that morning
That God was going to call your name
In life we loved you dearly
In death we do the same
It broke our hearts to lose you
You did not go alone
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home
You left us precious memories
Your love is still our guide
And though we cannot see you
You are always by our side
Our family chain is broken
And nothing seems the same
But as God calls us one by one
The chain will link again.

Alison and Grant,
I wish I could say some magical words to make the hurt go away, but I can't. I am here for you and am holding you close to my heart in thought and prayer. I am thinking about your family. (((((Haddocks)))))
Love, Debbie

"For I am already being poured out like a drink offering and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day - and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." 2 Timothy 4:6-8

Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Friday, February 28, 2003 8:30 PM CST

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I love the pictures of Alexandria. What a beautiful little girl. I am so glad you have such faith. A very close relative of mine lost her son some years back and her faith has gotten her through everyday since. We continue to pray for all of you. Love, Cat
Cat Borkowski
- Friday, February 28, 2003 8:19 PM CST

---

Hi- just checking in and hoping the good moments are outweighing the bad. I love the pictures of beautiful Alexandria- it's nice to see pictures of her so healthy. I drove by fazoli's the other day and had a small fettucine alfredo in her memory ( I never go there)- she was right!! It was pretty awesome and I told her so. I hope she heard me. Take care- Melissa
the Day family <m>
Fishers, IN - Friday, February 28, 2003 7:13 PM CST

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Just checking in today - love to see the new pictures! I continue to pray for you, Grant and the kids - I am sure they miss their big Sissy so much but it sounds like they are being so strong. Thank you for sharing with us. God Bless you.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego , CA - Friday, February 28, 2003 6:27 PM CST

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Just wanted to let you know that you continue to be in our daily prayers....Lizzie sent a special prayer the other day asking God to let her Grandma find Alexandria up in heaven so that she could hug her if she needed it.
Be strong, be well
Janice Frisella
- Friday, February 28, 2003 6:24 PM CST

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Alison, thank you for continuing to share your journey with all of us. What an inspiring web site this has become and I am always amazed at how spiritually filled I feel after reading your journal entries.
May God continue to heal your pain and suffering. And as Alexandria watches over her family from up above, may you find comfort in knowing how many lives your angel has touched. God Bless all of you.

Lynn Imbesi <limbesi@optonline.net>
East Moriches, NY USA - Friday, February 28, 2003 1:13 PM CST

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I loved the new pictures. The one of her sticking out her tongue is too funny. I look forward to cycling through all the photos with the other website visitors. I am sure she is looking down & so proud of you. How could she not be. You both obviously adore your children & are wonderful parents. Saying prayers for you all & hoping for more good days than bad.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Friday, February 28, 2003 1:08 PM CST

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Dear Alison,
I wanted to let you know that I'm so happy to hear of your "good day" on Wednesday. Praise God! I am praying there are more good ones than bad in the days, weeks and months to come for you and your entire family. Continue to take things one day at a time and to look for the "silver lining" in everything. Alexandria will be so proud of you for it. :-)

Thanks for continuing to share yourself and your family with us all via your website and journal. Know that I will continue to pray for you all often throughout each day. May God's Peace be with you always.

Much love and prayers--
Kristan's Aunt
Misti Laws <misti@sonburntbytua.com>
Jackson, MO - Friday, February 28, 2003 12:48 AM CST

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You are in my thoughts and prayers today. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend!!!!
God Bless!!! (Proverbs 17:17)
Kailie Rhines <loolieb@charter.net>
Saint Charles, Missouri United States of America - Friday, February 28, 2003 12:23 AM CST

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Thinking of you today.
Melissa
Greenville, IL - Friday, February 28, 2003 11:50 AM CST

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Still "lurking" on the website each day, reading everyone's messages and your journal entries. Thank you for letting us know how everyone is doing. So glad to see you had a good day yesterday. My prayers continue to be with you.
Rob Erusha <rerusha@hotmail.com>
Ellisville, MO - Friday, February 28, 2003 10:22 AM CST

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I still check in with you all via this website. I'm so glad that it has been such a comfort to you. It has also been a comfort to all of us who visit it daily. I enjoy the new pictures of Alexandria and her family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Kristy
St. Mark Presbyterian Church
Ballwin, MO 63011 - Friday, February 28, 2003 9:52 AM CST

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Dear Haddock Family, I just learned of Alexandria's death last night after reading the St. Mark Newsletter. I haven't stopped thinking about her, and all of you. Your pain and sorrow must be unmeasurable. I am truly amazed that your faith stayed so constant and so strong during your long battle. It says so much about you as parents, Christians, and the strong family that you are. May the Lord heal your aching hearts and lift your spirits each new day that you face without your precious angel. Take care of one another, and stay close and hug often. Sheri Slattery, St. Mark Church/ Claymont Preschool (Hunter and my son were in preschool together years ago!)
Sheri Slattery
Wildwood, MO - Friday, February 28, 2003 8:51 AM CST

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I have not signed in a while but I stop by pretty much everyday, Your journal entries never fail to bring a tear to my eye, and I always say a prayer for your family. I love the pictures of Alexandia, She is certainly a special angel at Jesus' side right now.
Debby Roberts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,http://www.caringbridge.org/oh/emilyroberts/
- Friday, February 28, 2003 8:46 AM CST

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Thank you for the pictures of your beautiful girl. I pray for all of you to find peace in your days and nights.
Jennifer
Pittsburgh, pa - Thursday, February 27, 2003 9:12 PM CST

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Thank you for updating the pictures for us. I know it is not easy for you. Your words continue to amaze me and get me through the day with a little more patience and understanding of what this world is about. God bless all of you.
Kathy
- Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:57 PM CST

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Alison and Grant,
I still come to this site daily and lurk. After doing this for over two years.. doesn't seem to be something I can stop doing now. I love reading your journal writings. I glad yesterday was a bit better. I continue to send loving thoughts and prayers for you all.
Love, Gwen Scott
- Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:35 PM CST

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Alison and Grant, I just wanted to let you know how much your journal has meant to me. It brought me closer to God and helped me to express my own feelings. You both write beautifully. What a tribute to Alexandria. I have found two small angels that look like Alexandria and have placed them where I will see them everyday and think about her. Thank you for sharing your life and your love for God and family. May God be with you always, Mary Axford,Casey's Mom
Mary Axford
Scottsdale, AZ - Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:17 PM CST

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Hi all. Our whole family is still praying for you all. I never knew Alexandria other than through your jornal entries, but I want you you to know there is a void in my heart. It was very hard to attend the funeral and watch the video. Mariah and I cried together. Words cannot express my feelings for your family. Grant I'm sorry we did'nt meet. You seemed involved with family and friends and I did'nt want to interupt before we left. I continue to check the website often and will greatly miss it if you decide to stop making entries. I pray that I have the strength in my faith that you all do if something tragic ever happens in my own family. You all are truely an inspiration to all. God Bless.
Roger King <rpkmrkia@aol.com>
Dittmer, MO USA - Thursday, February 27, 2003 6:26 PM CST

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I am so sad to here about your loss of alexandria i read your update today and please dont second guess yourself about her treatments you did everything possible your husbands letter to god broke my heart i read it a couple of days ago and every time i think about it i cry what a special and loving relatisonship they must of had my son kody has a inoperable brain stem tumor so i understand some of your pain but also your every day joy we are praying for you and your family and know that alexandria is sitting in arms of god love angel karl quilts of love




ANGEL KARL <KODYS SITE>
LSBG, FL USA#1 - Thursday, February 27, 2003 6:01 PM CST

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Our hearts are broken for your loss. Your Alexandia - such a precious child. Thank you for sharing with us. Please know you all have our deepest sympathy and that you are in our prayers.
Dianne & Paul Roth <pjroth@bigrivertel.net www.caringbridge.org/mo/jackiesjourney>
Cape Girardeau, MO - Thursday, February 27, 2003 5:32 PM CST

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Hi Haddocks,
We came to your neck of the woods today to make our delivery and were able to see two "saints"- your sister Michelle and Nancy Cole. I just wanted to send a bit of a boost their way and to thank God out loud for all of their support of you. Two very giving people.
We were also comforted seeing that you are so close to your church, really within walking distance. I said a prayer of gratitude to God for you to have found such a great place to take your family. May God continue to look out for you and to look out for all of the truly giving people who are looking out for you.
Amy
Ballwin, - Thursday, February 27, 2003 4:24 PM CST

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Thanks for taking time to change the pictures! It is a joy to see the Alexandria (and the other kids) we came to know through your stories. Good days will be yours - the happy memories will eventually take over and they will be the ones that come to mind first!
Tanda Smith
- Thursday, February 27, 2003 4:05 PM CST

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Thinking about Alexandria today and everyday.

Anita
Sikeston, MO - Thursday, February 27, 2003 3:30 PM CST

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Thank you for sharing your wonderful daughter and family. Alexandria's celebration service last Saturday was absolutely beautiful. I left there thinking, "this is what life is all about, sharing the good times, the very sad times and everything in between." Many of the things you said and Pastor Lew told the children about death are still going through my mind. I can't even begin to tell you what your daughter's life has meant to so many of us. We just found out (at age 37) that we are expecting our first baby and I've read very carefully all of your entries so that I can be the same kind of mom you are. (I've even printed out the parts about Grant's patient, loving and funny style of parenting to show my husband for just a few "pointers"). One day, you will both have a beautiful crown in heaven for the way you've served God here and I'm sure Alexandria is proudly wearing hers already. May God Bless You Today & Always!
E. Riazi
St. Charles, Mo - Thursday, February 27, 2003 3:22 PM CST

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You all amaze me with your strength. I think you are handling things so well. It's so necessary to cry and grieve a lot, but it's also so necessary to live in between those moments. I used to think that when I quit crying everyday, that that's when my brother's memory would dim, so I didn't want to quit crying. However, I found that not to be true. His memory is just as strong, and I miss him just as much, but I don't cry all the time anymore. The best way to honor the dead is to continue living with more love and appreciation for life than ever before. I'm so glad you have your other children to enjoy- I know how hard this is on them - hopefully the resilience of youth will be on their sides. We think of you all the time-
the Day family <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Thursday, February 27, 2003 2:51 PM CST

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I want you to all know that I think about Alexandria every day and wonder how this beautiful little girl could make such an impact on my life. Since I found your site and have been following it, I feel that I am making my way back to my faith. I know that I have always been a Christian follower, but over the years, I have strayed from it. I find myself now wanting and searching for a new church where I live now. I find myself praying alot more than I ever thought I used to. My heart goes out to your family during this difficult time. But I do believe that God has a plan for everyone. For Alexandria it may have been to show people back to their faith. I thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, your joys, your loving ways, your sorrow and most especially for sharing with us all what an Angel your daughter Alexandria truely is and was! God Bless!
Michelle <mpren91@hotmail.com>
Shakopee, MN - Thursday, February 27, 2003 2:00 PM CST

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I am glad you had a day that was good, or at least bearable. I am still praying for all of your family.

Debbie Nagy
- Thursday, February 27, 2003 12:56 AM CST

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Stopping by to say that my prayers are with you...May you continue to receive comfort from the Holy Spirit as He brings healing to your heart.. {Carolyn from Quilts of Love}




Carolyn <carolynj52@ilovejesus.net>
Oklahoma - Thursday, February 27, 2003 12:47 AM CST

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Your words of love and strength continue to touch my heart so deeply. We are still praying for you in Connecticut. God Bless you all.
Jaqueline, Nicholas and David
CT - Thursday, February 27, 2003 12:38 AM CST

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Thank you for sharing your precious little girl with us. I do look so forward to seeing all those pictures! What a beautiful sweet face of an angel.
With love, Kim
Kim Kruppenbacher <Kodys Story>
Leesburg, FL - Thursday, February 27, 2003 12:35 AM CST

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Dear Alison,

I find myself checking your website everyday to see how you are doing. Our thoughts and prayers are with you many times during the day. Your family is truly an inspiration to us and we miss having you here in the neighborhood. Tommy really would like to have the boys come over to play. I think that he is really worried about how they are doing. I am happy to hear that you are all doing as well as you can. Just know that you have lots of friends who love you all.
Sally Forness <forness2321@earthlink.net>
Ellisville, MO USA - Thursday, February 27, 2003 10:40 AM CST

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Hi Alison,
I am so glad you had a good day. I know Alexandria is looking down and is seeing only the good of her mommy. Everything you did during her illness was with her best interest at heart. One can always look back with what ifs but you did everything you could to help your child. Alexandria now knows how selflessly you and Grant championed her cause.
Please know that we are praying for your family and hope each day becomes a little easier.
Ann Newsham
- Thursday, February 27, 2003 10:38 AM CST

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I am so glad to hear you had a good day. I pray that those will become for frequent then the not so good days. I am also very thankful to hear the kids are doing well considering--you are such wonderful parents & open with your feelings which has to help them cope & heal. I couldn't believe during the slide show & video tribute how much Addison does look like her Sissy. The resemblance is remarkable. We continue to pray for strength & comfort from our Lord. I know Alexandria is SO proud of you & is watching over you each & every minute of the day. God Bless You All!!
The Pyle Family
Ellisville, - Thursday, February 27, 2003 10:16 AM CST

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Reading your update today gives us all such hope, and seeing your faith and how you are doing today helps us all to know we can get through anything if we can have only a fraction of your spirit and God's love. Of course I'm leaving your page as tears are flowing, but some are happy tears that your children are doing o.k. are that you and Grant enjoyed your bible study. God is good!
Lee Ann (Kristan's mommy)
- Thursday, February 27, 2003 9:58 AM CST

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Grant & Alison
I just wanted to let you know you guys are constantly in my thoughts and prayers!! I love all of you so much !!! I am so glad to hear the children are doing well !!!
I love you guys !!!
Auntie Hayey <mommydanger@yahoo.com>
St. Louis, Mo USA - Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:54 AM CST

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You have touched my life in so many "big" ways - your strength, your devotion, your faith,etc.. but I wanted to share something "small" that has meant so much to us. In a journal entry, you shared how Alexandria would sing songs w/you from Shout to the Lord Kids. You even posted words from one of the songs. I must say, I rushed straight to Target to purchase one for my girls. Soon we were giving them for birthday presents, playing them for the kids in carpool, playing them at Sunday School and Bible Club. Because of you and Alexandria, there are lots of little boys and girls in Birmingham singing praises to the Lord! I could go on and on about the BIG impact you have had on me, but today I wanted to share that "small" story. I continue to lift you up each day in prayer. My heart breaks for you, and I ask our Lord for strength and comfort that we can't find possible.
Tammy Holston <tsholston@aol.com>
Birmingham, AL - Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:52 AM CST

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Just a note to let you know you folks continue to be in our prayers.
Carla & RJ Rhines <rrhines@kc.rr.com>
Kansas City, KS - Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:41 AM CST

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Allison-
We think about you, Grant and the kids all the time...our hearts break along with yours, although we can't know a mother's pain. Thank god for your other children...just love on them. We continue to pray for you all.Love and prayers...
Peter Day
Fishers, IN - Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:37 AM CST

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It was so great to hear that you had a good day! And I can just imagine Alexandria gathering all of her 'new' friends around her and 'showing' them her mommy, beaming with pride as she tells them all of the loving and wonderful things you have done for her! We're all praying for your family - so glad the kids are doing well.
The Tojos
- Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:32 AM CST

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As I sit here this morning looking out the window as it begins to snow, I couldn't help but think about Alexandria. Every time I think I can't possibly be more moved by your words... I am astounded by your ability to share with us all. I think perhaps the 'silver lining' to this is in the way you have touched the hearts and souls of so many. Reading your words each day helps many of us to stop and be thankful for the gifts and blessings God has given each one of us. You and your family are such an inspiration to so many of us. May you all continue to find peace and comfort in Him and in the knowledge that there are so many out there who care. God bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:20 AM CST

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Alison -

Your entries always bring us to tears - you write exactly what's in your heart! You are the most loving mother and are the epitome of strength! Your entire family continues to inspire us. We have really enjoyed looking at the different pictures of your sweet daughter ... Alexandria Nicole. You can tell by looking at the pictures that she was so happy and carefree! You have a beautiful family! We continue to keep you in our prayers and close to our hearts! God bless you all.

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:19 AM CST

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Alison, You and Grant continue to amaze me. Here you are, in the depths of despair, and you end up comforting us! I'm so glad you have your church and Pastor Lew, as well as several thousand old and new friends, to help you get through the rough times. Alexandria, from Heaven, and memories here on earth will help you, too. You definitely need to find a publisher to help and enlighten many more people!!
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO - Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:16 AM CST

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Thinking of you and praying for you. The pictures are great and I can't wait to see more! Take care and God bless all of you.

www.caringbridge.org/ky/ryans.hope
Michele, Ryan's mom
Hebron, ky - Thursday, February 27, 2003 7:47 AM CST

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First, those are beautiful pictures you have posted. The top one is just downright artistic! I am praying for your family, your children and just everyone around you. I am sure Alexandria is very proud of her mommy. I am and I don't even really know you. I do give you a big hug and hope that it will comfort you. Love, Tracy
Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook :)
Tracy Solomon
Tampa, FL - Thursday, February 27, 2003 4:28 AM CST

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As always, we love you guys very much. Our prayers continue and our hearts are broken because of what you are having to endure. We are thankful for the testimony you have been for Jesus. What a blessing it is to know that God is using you to minister to so many people through your own grief. Words are just not available to express our thoughts about your entire ordeal over the past two years. We are very thankful that we met you at Camp Sunrise. That weekend was very special to us and will be a treasured memory forever. We will continue to pray for the entire family and pray that new blessings will be yours each and every day.

God bless each of you,
John & Johnelle
http://www.caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie

John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, February 27, 2003 0:17 AM CST

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Dear Alison, I have no doubt that God and Alexandria are watching you from above. And I know that God and Alexandria will continue to send you messages from heaven, to comfort you and your family. It's kind of ironic how she died just after Valentines day, a day to proclame your love to one another, a day of red and PINK!!! I am sure God had a full bucket of pink paint for her to dunk her wings into. And as I said before, when it snows, just picture Alexandria fluffing her pink tipped Angel wings. I have prayed for you and your family for God to help heal your broken hearts, and for the strength to carry on taking care of your other three children. Be alert, be aware, for God will help you through this most difficult time. Love and Prayers, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 11:58 PM CST

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Alison,
You write as much as you want, as often as you need to. I would never fall asleep reading your thoughts and memories of Alexandria. I'm relieved to hear that the children are getting counseling at school to help them deal with this.
I too have a child with leukemia. Caleb is 6. We also have a little boy named Cameron. He is 2 1/2. Cameron is the spitting image of Caleb in looks, actions, and personality. It is if we had twins..4 years apart. I truly believe that the baby will remember her big sister. I'm sure she looked up to her and idolized her just as Cameron thinks Caleb hung the moon and stars. I'm sure that looking at Addison is comforting in that you can see Alexandria through her.
Praying for your family always.
Debbie Little <www.caringbridge.og/tn/littlecaleb>
Dickson, TN U.S.A. - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 11:56 PM CST

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just checking in to let you know we are thinking of you- if you can get up and move around and smile with your kids a little, you are doing great. Alexandria loves you and is now your angel watching over you. Melissa
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
- Wednesday, February 26, 2003 9:21 PM CST

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I am very sorry for your loss. I didn't know Alexandria, but my mom told me all about her. My friend was in Alexandria's 2nd grade class at Green Pines. I will pray for your family. I think she is watching over you.
Jake Lohmann
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 9:02 PM CST

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To the dear family of Alexandria Nicole Haddock: You do not know me, but I am someone who had found your site through the Caringbridge family. I have been following your journal for the past two months and have found your entries to be one of the most beautiful testaments of faith I have ever seen. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine having to say goodbye to one of my babies, or to need to find the strength and faith that you are using to accept God's will. I will say special prayers for you that God will wrap His loving arms around you and comfort you in your grief. May His healing hands hold you and may His Spirit fill you. Surely you will be blessed with His strength since you have served Him so willingly and faithfully. God bless you and your loved ones who are mourning Alexandria's passing. Know that your story, your faith and your love for God has touched people that you have never even known. Thank you for sharing all of this with me.
Debbie <keith.shumaker@verizon.net>
NJ USA - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 8:08 PM CST

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Dear Haddocks...
Thinking of you all with lots of love and prayers!

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))
Eva
- Wednesday, February 26, 2003 7:54 PM CST

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I so wanted to come to the service to celebrate Alexandria'a life. I am sorry I missed the opportunity - had a family funeral to attend the same day - thought of you often. You and your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers. You have had such an impact on my family! The day I read Grant's letter my 5 year old daughter was watching me. She asked why I was crying and I told her that Alexandria died. She was sad but said, "She is in heaven with Jesus now and you know she is all better there. She doesn't hurt anymore." She speaks of Alexandria often and has never met her. I can tell she feels she lost a friend. You were so generous to share her with us!
Tanda Smith
Cape Girardeau, Mo - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 7:46 PM CST

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Thinking of your family today!
Paula
- Wednesday, February 26, 2003 6:55 PM CST

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Just as I am, without one plea but that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bid'st me come to thee,
O Lamb of God, I come.
Just as I am, though toss'd about with many a conflict, many a doubt, fightings within and fears without,
O Lamb of God, I come.
Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind; sight, riches, healing of the mind, yea, all I need, in thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come.
Just as I am, thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve, because thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come.
Just as I am, thy love unknown has broken every barrier down; now to be thine, yea, thine alone,
O Lamb of God, I come.
Just as I am, of that free love the breadth, length, depth and height to prove, here for a season, then above,
O Lamb of God, I come. (Charlotte Elliot)

May you feel the Lord's love strengthening and sustaining you through these difficult days. With great respect,

Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 6:52 PM CST

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Dear Allison, your words were beautiful and by reading your page, it would be so nice if we could just know everybody! There is so much loss in not meeting people, especially certain people. Everyone is put on this earth for a reason and a valuable lesson. Alexandria sounds like she is amazing even now, maybe more so. So many more people will learn about her and your other children and family will live each day with her in your heart. I know you miss her. I would miss any of my children tremendously and pray I don't have to go through this but if I would, I pray I would find the courage and grace you seem to show. Love and God Bless You and your family.
Tracy Solomon
http://caringbridge.org/fl/katia_leukemiapage/
Tracy Solomon <tmsol87@aol.com>
Tampa, FL - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 6:34 PM CST

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Alison,

Just thinking about you. I'm glad to hear that you are getting out. Hunter, Hayden, and Addison really need you now. More than ever!! Taking them to and from school is something I'm sure they have missed. Please let us know how they are doing. My heart goes out to all of you.
Sharyn Duncan
- Wednesday, February 26, 2003 6:32 PM CST

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Dear Alison and Grant,
We are deeply sorry for your loss and can't imagine the pain you are feeling. You have truly exhibited God's grace and love. We pray for Him to comfort you now and in the months ahead.

The Stokes' (from St. Mark) - Pat, Kathleen, Libby, and Michael <kms_stl@yahoo.com>
Aurora, IL - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 5:33 PM CST

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Alison, Grant, and Family,

My thoughts and prayers are with you as you move into this difficult new chapter in your lives. I am forever grateful to you for sharing your heartbreaking, yet truly inspirational journey with all of us. Alexandria and all of you have reminded me of what is most important in life. Thank-you. Yours, as well as your amazing daughter's, strength, courage, and grace as you endured this battle has left me awestruck. I pray that in time your memories of Alexandria will bring warmth to your heart instead of sadness. Alison, I hope that you find your new path soon with God's guidance . My heart aches to hear how lost you feel.
Love and prayers,
Meghan
Meghan Johnson
OFallon, Mo - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 4:30 PM CST

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Dear Alison,
I have been struggling to find the right words and deep in my heart I know that there aren't any. . . We're just another family that is in your debt and feels so unworthy of the comfort that you and Grant give to others through your words and deeds. Your selflessness is truly an amazing gift.
P.S. I too was thinking about Alexandria when it snowed on Sunday. I really love snow, but was so so sad on Sunday thinking about you.
Amy
Ballwin, - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 4:07 PM CST

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Dear Alison, We can not imagine how you feel. We think of you and your family and pray for God to help you with your grief.
The Sheats Family
Springboro, OH - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 2:10 PM CST

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DEAR ALISON AND GRANT AND FAMILY I HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR YOU ALL TO HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH THIS SAD TIME.
I DO KNOW YOUR DADDY JOHNNY AND NOW ALEXANDERIA ARE WATCHING
OUT FOR THOSE LEFT BEHING. JOELLA AND OLIVIA LOVED BEING WITH YOUR FAMILY AND SAID THE KIDS ARE GREAT. I TO WOULD LOVE TO MEET THEM. I AM MAILING YOU A SUPRISE THAT I HOPE YOU WILL ENJOY. IT HOLDS LOTS OF MEMORIES OF THE GOOD DAYS.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL VERY SOON.
LOVE.......EVIE
MARY EVA HUNTER
New Madrid, MO USA - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 12:51 AM CST

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I'm one of the people who check in all the time, but don't always leave a message. But in the meantime, please know that your family has been and still is in my prayers. Alexandria was beautiful and she will be missed. I will continue praying for healing for all of your family and friends.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 12:07 AM CST

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Alison & Grant,
You and your children continue to be in my thoughts and prayers throughout each day. Cling to each other and indulge in the Word of God to find your strength and the courage to face each new day. May the Peace of Christ surround you always.
Much love and prayers--
Kristan's Aunt,

Misti Laws <misti@sonburntbytua.com>
Jackson, MO - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 11:15 AM CST

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Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,
I'm following the path that God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard him call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I found that place at the end of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with a remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah yes, these things, I too, will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you sunshine of tomorrow.
My lifes been full and I savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all to brief,
But don't lenghten it now with undue grief,
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now and he has set me free.

I pray everyday for God to give you strength to deal with this pain. I think of the things that Alexandria has now experienced, seeing the face of our Savior and living in a place with no pain, or sickness or tears, only happiness. Thinking of these things makes me look forward to the day when I leave this world and enter another. I never had the opportunity to meet Alexandria on this earth, but I know that I will meet her one day in Heaven and that is a day that I look forward too.

Love,
Your Friend in Christ
NC - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 11:00 AM CST

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Alison and Grant,
We can't even begin to imagine the depth of emptiness that you all must be feeling. Scott has talked over and over about the impact Alexandria's celebration had on him. We have both been so touched and moved by all that you have shared- I know it has changed our parenting tremendously. We are constantly thinking of you all- our little trials of day to day parenting seem so insignificant compared to your situation. Our 3 year old is having surgery next week and I find myself thinking that it is nothing because of including Alexandria's journey in my perspective. Then my 10 year old daughter said " Mom- are'nt you worried about Anthony?"
Of course I am worried I told her, but an outpatient surgey seems so minor in comparison to all the things children who are chronically ill endure.
We all are praying for your family- God will carry you all along and hold you in His hands.
Dana Vena
Overlnd Park, KS - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 10:57 AM CST

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Dear Alison and Grant,

As always, our thoughts and prayers are with you every day.
Dan, Sally, Tommy and Emma Forness <forness2321@earthlink.net>
Ellisville, MO USA - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 8:48 AM CST

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Allison, the words you left yesterday were absolutely beautiful. You have such a gift for sharing your story, and I feel so blessed to be able to 'share' in it. No one can possibly know the pain and emptiness you must be feeling, but we will all continue to pray for the entire Haddock family that God will bring you the peace and comfort that you so desperately need. God bless.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 8:15 AM CST

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Alison and Grant,
I was sorry to hear about Alexandria. I know that Matthew was there to greet her into Heaven - her with her pink-tipped wings and Matthew with his blue-tipped ones. Well, actually Matthew probably would not be caught dead in wings of any color.

I know that after the first week the numbness wears off and reality sets in BIG TIME. I know that she has left a huge hole in your hearts, but hopefully with time that hole will be filled in (even just a little) with good memories of Alexandria. She will always be with you in your heart.

She made such an impact on so many people's lives, including myself, as shown by all of the entries in her guestbook. You did everything possible for your little angel and were/are such good parents. She is now dancing in Heaven with a perfect, healthy body.

I wish that I could be there for you, but I am holding you close to my heart in thoughts and prayers. I wish I could do something to make it better, but I can't. I know that it is hard to understand the "why?" but I believe that it will all become clear to us and that we will understand in God's time.

I am thinking of you and will talk to you soon.
Love,


Debbie Hallemeier
Matthew's Website
<Debbie54RN@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 4:44 AM CST

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I have been thinking of you and keeping your family in my prayers during this very difficult time.
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA. - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 2:25 AM CST

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My prayers are with you..
Hugs,
Lynn
PA - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 0:37 AM CST

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Dear Haddock family,
We are here for you. It's good for you to express your feelings instead of holding them all in. We are grieving with you. Alexandria has truly made an impact on me, and she will forever be in my heart.
The Little Family (Jeff, Debbie, Caleb & Cameron) <www.caringbridge.org/tn/littlecaleb>
Dickson, TN U.S.A. - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 0:18 AM CST

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So here I am reading the messages thinking I was going to be a lurker again and I read Varshas appeal for pardon after leaving her message. I have never been witness to a stuttering e-mailer before. Bless you Varshon for leaving a message, I am sure there is no need to seek repentance...
he who seeks the humor in times of heartach
- Wednesday, February 26, 2003 0:10 AM CST

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YOU HAVE EXHIBITED SUCH STRENGTH AND GRACE. I KNOW IT WAS NOT A CHOSEN PATH , BUT YOU ARE NO DOUBT AN INSPIRATION TO MANY. IT LEAVES US TO KNOW WHO ALEXANDRIA INHERITED THAT FROM.. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOURSELF WITH US.
BE BLESSED,
DANETTE
Danette <www.caringbridge.com/tx/jacobprater>
Santa Fe , TX - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 11:24 PM CST

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Death comes, leaving a hollow hole in the lives of those who remain. With a broken heart, with struggle with the heavy veils of mourning. We feel angry. At first it shieled by shock. But as the days and weeks pass, the blur wears off and the sharp corners of anger cut deep. We feel the loss. Sometimes the only consolation for the grief-stricken seems to be the imagined return of what has been taken. The only only future seems to be the past. And then we are afraid. Panic hits as we consider the future. How will we go on without them? Who will fill the void? What about the family? The house? And oh-the aloneless of being cut off from one so loved! Widow. Orphan. Childless. The future yawns ahead in terrible emptiness. At last, in small fragments, hope appears. Tiny threads of possibility begin to wind about our days. Some that grief never really ends. It only changes and turns direction with time. For those who wait in mourning, the morning may never come as it once did once upon a time. But it does come.
{excerpt for the Mom's Devotional Bible NIV}

Reference: 1 Corinthians 15:20-23
- Tuesday, February 25, 2003 9:54 PM CST

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Thinking of your family. Alexandria has definately left an impression that will always remain on the hearts of many many people. Thank you again for sharing her beautiful life with all of us. I cannot imagine the hurt you must be feeling..but please know you are not alone.
Katy Davis
St. Peters, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 9:23 PM CST

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My heart aches for you & your family.
Keeping you in my prayers.

DeAnna <www.caringbridge.org/ga/chasesmiracle/>
Ga USA - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 9:04 PM CST

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Dear Alison, I have not signed in for a few days, I simply could not express the thoughts I've been feeling since Alexandria has left us for heaven. You must be having a terrible time, caring for the three children when you need to be caring for four. I can't even imagine what that pain feels like in your heart and soul. I will though pray for your strength, understanding, and peace within your heart and soul. We will continue to pray for your entire family. Love,
Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, mo - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 8:53 PM CST

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I haven't had a chance to check in these last few days but know you are always on my mind. I have truly been touched by Alexandria as I know so many of us have. Know she will NEVER be forgotten. She was an incredible little person who had an ability to teach all of us so much about life. I can't even imagine the pain you are feeling. Just know you have sacrificed so much of your life for your daughter, that is such a gift you gave her. You and Grant have taught me so much about the unselfish love you have as parents. I am seeing it now for the first time in my own life. I only hope I can be half as good as both of you. I am and always will keep you in my prayers. Love, Cat
Cat Borkowski
- Tuesday, February 25, 2003 8:51 PM CST

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Alison: I know exactly what you mean. I have had such a hard time walking into a store without thinking I need to get "something" for Meghan. Passing the little girl's section is the most difficult and I can't imagine it ever being easy. I pray that Alexandria and Meghan have met up with each other and are laughing and playing and Alexandria is teaching her all of your beautiful songs the two of you used to belt out. Hopefully Meghan's froggy little voice won't drown out Alexandria's :) I'm at a loss as to how I can ever get thru this and agree each day seems so much harder. I can relate to the time spent going to/from clinic; to/from hospital; and the always present flushing lines; medications to give; prednisone attacks, etc. I pray it get easier. Please know that I think about you often. PS: I want you to know, Meghan went to Heaven with her Barney. I'm sure she'll share it with Alexandria.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 8:41 PM CST

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All the Angels at Quilts of Love have you in their
thoughts and prayers at this very trying time for
you and your family..

Blessings to you

Angel Chris
Quilts of Love



Chris <wardsweb@earthlink.net>
Los Angeles, CA USA - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 8:20 PM CST

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Dear Alison and Grant,
I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. I can promise you, though, that I and your many friends will be here for you. I know you will have many hard days to come, and I hope you know we all want to help in any way we can, if that is possible. Tonight, we went to Krieger's for dinner. When we left the restaurant, Mackenzie let her balloon go up into the sky. When we got into the car she said, " Mommy, I let my balloon go up and asked God to please give it to Alexandria". We will never forget your beautiful, graceful daughter, Alexandria Nicole Haddock. Your friend, Tammy
Tammy Whalen <dtkmdwhalen@cs.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 8:07 PM CST

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Today I took cupcakes to Lincolns' class for his birthday celebration and Hayden tried to talk me into giving him 2!! I wish I had 25 extra to give him! He had the biggest smile on his face.. What a doll! Throughout the day there are a thousand things that remind me of Alexandria (even though I never had the pleasure of meeting her). Like Plochmanns' mustard!! She has tought me so many things about life and how precious it is - I thank you for that! Always in our prayers.. The Schwartzs'
Lisa S
- Tuesday, February 25, 2003 7:55 PM CST

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I think of you all the time and then I get to this page and I am at a loss for words. Just please know that my family and I are praying for your family. We have learned so much about love and life from your beautiful daughter - she will remain in our hearts and minds forever. She has left a legacy of kindness and love beyond my comprehension, but I know that this young lady has made an incredible impact on my life forever. I never would have expected a child other than my own to touch my heart as Alexandria has. I hope that I can be a blessing to people in my life as she was in hers. God Bless!
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 7:25 PM CST

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Dear Haddocks,
Unless you have suffered the loss of a child there is no possible way to know the depth of your sorrow so I will not pretend to know what you's are going thru. I can only hope and pray that God helps you get thru this time of mourning that although will never end will hopefully in time ease to a more bearable heartache. May the life, joys and blessings of Hunter, Hayden and Addison help you thru the worst of these times. Alexandria and all of you have been an enormous inspiration to so many. It's awesome that so many lives could be touched in such a spiritual way thru such tragic illness and by one so young as Alexandria. May knowing that and knowing that her illness and her passing was not in vain, that so many have come to know Christ thru her pain and experiences give you comfort.
BILLIE JO ECCARDT
- Tuesday, February 25, 2003 7:23 PM CST

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Dear Alison & Family:
I find it is with difficulty that I assure you that you will get through this, but you will. As a grandmother to four precious ones, now three on earth and one with your precious Alex in heaven; I am relying on God's strength and the prayers of many to cover us as we move beyond three months from Robert's passing into heaven. I pray that each member of our family can hear his voice in their dreams, that he is allowed to come to them and assure them of his well-being. I pray that he give each a word of encouragement for a specific need just as he has given Jessica and Matthew.

I pray that your Alexandria come to you with assurance that she has met the Master and is lovingly preparing for that time when she sees her family again. We do know where in the universe she has gone (Heaven),we know that He prepared her space and we also know that when our time and work is complete, that we will then know as we are known. We have the blessed assurance of this.

Our prayers are with your family as you grieve, love and carry on with the rest of your family. Be gentle to yourselves, you gave everything you possibly could. He wants our all and you complied. BLessings and Honor upon you all. Love - Jane Charlton Pike (grandmother to Robert C).
Jane Pike <ejpike@bellsouth.net>
Jupiter, FL USA - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 7:23 PM CST

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It's funny how after a funeral of a child you notice funeral processions so much more and wonder how the people in the cars are doing. My dad said he thinks funerals are for the family to have something else to focus on so soon after losing a loved one. The hard part comes after the funeral is over and everyone goes home and you have to face the empty room in your house. Don't expect too much from yourself. You will get through this at your own pace and you will emerge from this an even stronger person because you did get through it. You will find ways to live in between the pain and sadness and you will have both things- bittersweet memories of Alexandria, and happiness in your daily life. Please don't forget to take care of yourself- you take care of everyone else and remember that you need time to grieve and be alone with your thoughts too. love,
Melissa Day
- Tuesday, February 25, 2003 6:33 PM CST

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Dear Haddock's,

Just wanted to let you know someone in Pennsylvania thinks of you often. Alexandria is included in our prayers with our 3 children each night and even my little one will remind us if we haven't mentioned her yet. I am a cancer survior and I used the website Hugs and Hope as a way of teaching my 12 year old daughter to give back a little for the many gifts in her life. We have grown attached to many children, became a pen pal and friend to one and saw way too many precious children suffer and die. As a mom and teacher, I have never had any one touch my heart so deeply as your family and Alexandria. My children would have loved her and I wish we lived closer, as I would love to get to know your family. I check on you several times a day and check for pictures of your beautiful daughter who has inspired me to be a more patient mother. Please know my thoughts, love and prayers are with you all.


Melody
West Chester, Pa. U.S.A. - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 6:33 PM CST

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I think of you and your family each and every day. I have so admired your strength and courage along the way. It has been an unthinkable journey for you all. Your faith and spirit inspires the rest of us to make sure we live life to the fullest and focus on what matters. Alexandria was an amazing little girl. She was such a fighter. She touched us all in so many ways - and so have you and your family. I wish I could have been at the service to celebrate her life. Rob was so touched. I pray for your continued strength and memories to last a lifetime! God bless you all.
Wendy Schneider
Maryland Heights, Mo - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:56 PM CST

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Just wanted to sign in and add some moral support. You are going through the unthinkable and I know you are devastated. Try to stay busy and stay strong. Her memory book will be priceless for you and her siblings. She would want you to be happy again- that would honor her memory so much. It will take time and prayers though. We are thinking of you-
Melissa Day
Fishers, IN - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:22 PM CST

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Sorry about all the entries I just put in below...i clicked the button a few too many times...sorry
Varsha
- Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:08 PM CST

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As you have asked, I'm going to share with you a story and a memory I have shared with Alexandria in the past.....About a year ago, maybe longer, Alexandria was walking home from somebody's house up my hill and I was outside playing with a volleyball. She asked me what I was doing and I said " I'm practicing volleyball, I have a tournament coming up." She said "Really! That's cool. I hope you win." I said " Thanks Alexandria, me too. Do you want to give it a try?" She said " Um... Ok." So we played with the volleyball for a couple of minutes. She was having so much fun but she spilt the grape soda she had in her hand. I gave her a new one and she was just so grateful. It made me happy to see someone just really greatful for the little things in life. You have a wonderful angel watching over you Haddocks! God Bless You All!

Varsha <pinknovember124@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:06 PM CST

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As you have asked, I'm going to share with you a story and a memory I have shared with Alexandria in the past.....About a year ago, maybe longer, Alexandria was walking home from somebody's house up my hill and I was outside playing with a volleyball. She asked me what I was doing and I said " I'm practicing volleyball, I have a tournament coming up." She said "Really! That's cool. I hope you win." I said " Thanks Alexandria, me too. Do you want to give it a try?" She said " Um... Ok." So we played with the volleyball for a couple of minutes. She was having so much fun but she spilt the grape soda she had in her hand. I gave her a new one and she was just so grateful. It made me happy to see someone just really greatful for the little things in life. You have a wonderful angel watching over you Haddocks! God Bless You All!

Varsha <pinknovember124@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:06 PM CST

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As you have asked, I'm going to share with you a story and a memory I have shared with Alexandria in the past.....About a year ago, maybe longer, Alexandria was walking home from somebody's house up my hill and I was outside playing with a volleyball. She asked me what I was doing and I said " I'm practicing volleyball, I have a tournament coming up." She said "Really! That's cool. I hope you win." I said " Thanks Alexandria, me too. Do you want to give it a try?" She said " Um... Ok." So we played with the volleyball for a couple of minutes. She was having so much fun but she spilt the grape soda she had in her hand. I gave her a new one and she was just so grateful. It made me happy to see someone just really greatful for the little things in life. You have a wonderful angel watching over you Haddocks! God Bless You All!

Varsha <pinknovember124@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:06 PM CST

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As you have asked, I'm going to share with you a story and a memory I have shared with Alexandria in the past.....About a year ago, maybe longer, Alexandria was walking home from somebody's house up my hill and I was outside playing with a volleyball. She asked me what I was doing and I said " I'm practicing volleyball, I have a tournament coming up." She said "Really! That's cool. I hope you win." I said " Thanks Alexandria, me too. Do you want to give it a try?" She said " Um... Ok." So we played with the volleyball for a couple of minutes. She was having so much fun but she spilt the grape soda she had in her hand. I gave her a new one and she was just so grateful. It made me happy to see someone just really greatful for the little things in life. You have a wonderful angel watching over you Haddocks! God Bless You All!

Varsha <pinknovember124@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:06 PM CST

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As you have asked, I'm going to share with you a story and a memory I have shared with Alexandria in the past.....About a year ago, maybe longer, Alexandria was walking home from somebody's house up my hill and I was outside playing with a volleyball. She asked me what I was doing and I said " I'm practicing volleyball, I have a tournament coming up." She said "Really! That's cool. I hope you win." I said " Thanks Alexandria, me too. Do you want to give it a try?" She said " Um... Ok." So we played with the volleyball for a couple of minutes. She was having so much fun but she spilt the grape soda she had in her hand. I gave her a new one and she was just so grateful. It made me happy to see someone just really greatful for the little things in life. You have a wonderful angel watching over you Haddocks! God Bless You All!

Varsha <pinknovember124@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:06 PM CST

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As you have asked, I'm going to share with you a story and a memory I have shared with Alexandria in the past.....About a year ago, maybe longer, Alexandria was walking home from somebody's house up my hill and I was outside playing with a volleyball. She asked me what I was doing and I said " I'm practicing volleyball, I have a tournament coming up." She said "Really! That's cool. I hope you win." I said " Thanks Alexandria, me too. Do you want to give it a try?" She said " Um... Ok." So we played with the volleyball for a couple of minutes. She was having so much fun but she spilt the grape soda she had in her hand. I gave her a new one and she was just so grateful. It made me happy to see someone just really greatful for the little things in life. You have a wonderful angel watching over you Haddocks! God Bless You All!

Varsha <pinknovember124@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:06 PM CST

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As you have asked Alison, I'm going to share with you a story and a memory I have shared with Alexandria in the past.....About a year ago, maybe longer, Alexandria was walking home from somebody's house up my hill and I was outside playing with a volleyball. She asked me what I was doing and I said " I'm practicing volleyball, I have a tournament coming up." She said "Really! That's cool. I hope you win." I said " Thanks Alexandria, me too. Do you want to give it a try?" She said " Um... Ok." So we played with the volleyball for a couple of minutes. She was having so much fun but she spilt the grape soda she had in her hand. I gave her a new one and she was just so grateful. It made me happy to see someone just really greatful for the little things in life. You have a wonderful angel watching over you Haddocks! God Bless You All!

Varsha <pinknovember124@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:05 PM CST

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As you have asked Alison, I'm going to share with you a story and a memory I have shared with Alexandria in the past.....About a year ago, maybe longer, Alexandria was walking home from somebody's house up my hill and I was outside playing with a volleyball. She asked me what I was doing and I said " I'm practicing volleyball, I have a tournament coming up." She said "Really! That's cool. I hope you win." I said " Thanks Alexandria, me too. Do you want to give it a try?" She said " Um... Ok." So we played with the volleyball for a couple of minutes. She was having so much fun but she spilt the grape soda she had in her hand. I gave her a new one and she was just so grateful. It made me happy to see someone just really greatful for the little things in life. You have a wonderful angel watching over you Haddocks! God Bless You All!

Varsha <pinknovember124@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 4:05 PM CST

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Still praying for your family hard. God, will ease you pain but the heartache will never go away. The moments of heartache will get further apart as time goes on. May God be with you all.

Love and Hugs
Deneen
Mom to Tiffanie Forever in Heaven
www.caringbridge.org/page/tiffanie

Deneen Gethouas <dgethouas@aol.com>
Enola, PA USA - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 2:46 PM CST

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I cannot express the pain and sorrow that I feel for you all. Prayers to you all for strength and the ability to go on in life when it must feel so dark and lonely. God will carry you and take away your burdens -- our hope forever! Alexandria has impacted so many lives and done more in her short life than most of us do in our long lives. Her impact on me and my family is amazing. Please know we are all praying for you and thank you for all your spirit filled messages. You are all a true gift from God! Blessing to you all!!
Kelley Johnson (Friend of Anne Merten's) <kjtaxi4kids@msn.com>
Westerville, OH Franklin - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 1:02 PM CST

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Dear Friends,
I am thinking of you and praying for you today. When I look at how many people have left messages I rejoice at all of the love you are surrounded with in prayer. I pray that you will feel His presence in your grief. There is nothing more to say, I can only imagine how deep the pain must me, how consuming and unbearable. Please let others listen, let others help you and try to see God's glory in all of this, even though it seems impossible that it could be so.
Love in Christ,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 12:51 AM CST

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Dear Alison,
I just wanted to say hi and let you know we are thinking about you and the rest of the Haddock family. Thank you so much for comforting Abby. In all your sorrow you took the time to help a little girl in a way no one else could. I will be forever grateful to you for that. Abby says she feels much better thinking of Alexandria in her Hello Kitty House in heaven with the ears as attics. May God bless you and carry you through this time. Nothing will ever be the same but somehow through God's grace, things will become more bearable.
All of my love,

Ann Newsham
- Tuesday, February 25, 2003 12:28 AM CST

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Good Morning Alison, Grant, Hayden, Hunter and Addison,
I'm doing my daily check in and wanted to let you know my prayers continue for you and your family.
Angela
Angela Brooks
- Tuesday, February 25, 2003 12:08 AM CST

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Dearest Alison, Grant and kids,
I just want you to know that I continue to keep you all in my prayers. I miss Alexandria and I never even got the chance to meet her, but I know that someday I will. She (along with all the rest of you) has touched so many lives throughout her journey. I can't imagine being able to impact the number of lives that she has. I pray that God will continue to hold onto all of you very tightly right now and that you will feel all the prayers surrounding you that are being said on your behalf. God bless you all. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 9:02 AM CST

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Dear Alison, Grant & children,
Still praying for you.
Maria
NJ - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 8:12 AM CST

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I have visited your site often, but have never left a message before. Words seem so inadequate and I don't presume to know what you are feeling, only that you are hearbroken. May you heal and find peace and happiness again. Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 8:12 AM CST

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Grant & Alison, my heart breaks for you. I can not even imagine the pain you must be feeling. If I had a magic power right now, I would choose the power of healing so I could take away your pain. I am sure, however, that a most wise "10" year angel would yell down from heaven in her so sweet & spirited little voice, that you would not be the same person you are today if you had not been through all that you have. God works in mysterious ways & this is definitely one of them. I picked up Amanda from Sunday School yesterday, & when I walked in her teacher was praying for you & Alexandria. I of course broke into tears & walked out of the room. On the way home, Amanda wanted to talk about the big WHY question. I simply said that we don't always understand why God does what He does, but we know that it is always good & that He has a plan. She very matter of factly responded "Well, God must have needed more help in the angel area & He knew that Alexandria would make a really, really, really good angel." Please know that we love you guys & are praying for strength, peace & comfort for your entire family.
Beth Pyle
- Tuesday, February 25, 2003 1:39 AM CST

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What a beautiful service Saturday I cannot tell you how much my heart aches for you all...everything I think to write seems trite and insufficient. ( I don't even think thats a word ) I am sure there are many who feel the same. I know it is hard to swallow any attemp to vindicate your sufferage but again I say that God only give special children to special people. Alexandria exemplified special and as previously you shed tears in your pride, you now must justly shed tears of sorrow. I pray that God grants you the strength to mourn hard and fast that you may again shed tears of pride when you reflect on your short time with your precious angel. Alexandria feels no pain, not here or there or there, and she is so happy, and she wants to hug you and kiss you and kiss you until your tears are all gone and you can see clearly that she is still loving you. Hunter, Hayden, and Addison now provide the conduit from which you can recieve her love.
Your humble servant, Drake
- Tuesday, February 25, 2003 0:16 AM CST

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My prayers are with you as you try to deal with the tragic hand that has been dealt to you and your family - you talked of watching the snow fall and thinking of Alexandria and I had to smile - I could just imagine her in heaven throwing down snow just to make you think of her - not that you need that reminder but her joy of playing in heaven pain free - maybe it was her way of saying she is ok - love Angel Toto

Angel Toto <totoofoz@cox.net>
Lyons, KS USA - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 0:10 AM CST

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Alison,
I am crying with you. I'm so very sorry for your loss and pray that the Lord gives you strength to carry on. I can't imagine your pain. I miss Alexandria. I've never met her, but feel I knew her through her website. God Bless You.
Debbie Little <www.caringbridge.org/tn/littlecaleb>
Dickson, TN U.S.A. - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 0:00 AM CST

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Dear Alison, Grant, Hunter, Hayden and Addison,
Thinking of you. Hoping you can find moments of calm, uncluttered relaxation and moments that make you smile.
Lisa, John, Zach & Annalee Fuller
Wildwood, MO - Monday, February 24, 2003 11:35 PM CST

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You have been in my thoughts every day. Your family is in our prayers.
The Schroeder Family <mattamys@yahoo.com>
Eureka, MO - Monday, February 24, 2003 11:06 PM CST

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Just a little note to say you all are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Becky
Becky <beckybrown_1976@yahoo.com>
Pineville, WV USA - Monday, February 24, 2003 10:57 PM CST

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Alison and Grant,
It seems we keep seeing each other in the hallways at church--passing by without much time to talk (not that I could say any words that would make this difficult time in your life better). Please know that you and your family are in my prayers daily.
Alison, if you need anything [maybe a babysitter so you can do some jewelry shopping??? ;>)] I would be happy to help. Please, take care of yourself, and try to eat something--it's probably been a week and a half now. Keep leaning on God, He is good, all the time!!!!!
Nancy Merritt <merrittn@squared.com>
St. Peters, MO - Monday, February 24, 2003 10:17 PM CST

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My family's life will forever be changed by Alexandria and the entire Haddock family. I have said it before but you have taught us all the true meaning of Love and Family. The celebration Sat was so beautiful. I cried,laughed and just sat in amazement of just how wonderful Alexandria was and will always be. My mother loved cats so I am hoping that she has caught up with Alexandria (who I know is so very busy playing)and has seen her beautiful collection of cats. You continue to be in our prayers.
Jeanine Riendeau <jrien0512@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Monday, February 24, 2003 9:42 PM CST

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Alison, I'm thinking about you and your family everyday. I read your journal entry after work tonite and my heart just broke all over again. Nothing I can say will make you better. But know that you are in my thoughts all the time. The service for Alexandria on Saturday was amazing - I cannot erase that timeless video from my mind, nor do I want to! I want you to know that I am compiling memories of Alexandria and will send those to you shortly.
Monica Lummus
- Monday, February 24, 2003 9:13 PM CST

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Sometimes there are no words to say the things we'd like to say and this is one of those for me. My heart breaks for all of you - I know the pain must seem unbearable. But I also know that you now have a guardian angel watching over you and that she will share her joy and strength with you. That with time, the pain will ease some and give you back the ability to feel that joy and some happiness again. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Libby Gladden <libeye@bellsouth.net>
Norcross, Ga - Monday, February 24, 2003 7:52 PM CST

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Your words are so moving. I have never been so touched before. I will continue to pray for all of you. May God give you the strength you need.
Kathy
- Monday, February 24, 2003 7:25 PM CST

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Alison and Grant -

With each new day, we continue to pray for strength and comfort for you both as well as your entire family. Our hearts are breaking for your loss. Alexandria will never be forgotten. Thank you for sharing her with all of us. She was and is an inspiration! Take care and God bless. Know that your sweet angel is looking down at you, from Heaven!

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Monday, February 24, 2003 7:19 PM CST

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Grant and Alison....
Thinking of you all at this most difficult time. Please know that we are all here for you.

Love to you all,

Eva
- Monday, February 24, 2003 7:00 PM CST

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Dearest Haddock Family....
You are all in my prayers everyday. Though we have never met...I keep Alexandria in my heart always.
Love always....Kim



Kim Kruppenbacher <Kody's Story>
Leesburg, FL - Monday, February 24, 2003 6:56 PM CST

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Alison, I pray your pain will soon lessen and that the wonderful memories you have will soon give you immense comfort and fill that aching void. The Celebration of Life was outstanding. What a wonderful tribute to your precious girl. It was good to see you in church yesterday, in your ususal spot, in the front. I think of you and pray for you and your family everyday.
Angela Burr
O'Fallon, - Monday, February 24, 2003 5:14 PM CST

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Dear precious family,
Truly words are not enough...your words touch my soul very deeply. This last Sat. night there was a lightning storm much like the one on the Sat. nite before the Sunday that my Robert left us...it brought back much of the memories of that night; it was the first lightning since that night 3 months ago...nothing is the same; everything is new and nothing is ever normal...yet, somewhere, somehow, in the midst of it all, I am still breathing, standing, hoping, living...you will I pray begin to see Alexandria in a new light. She is watching and waiting for your homecoming now...I have learned a new sort of "homesickness"; a homesickness in the purest and truest of senses...I told my husband as he longed to hear Robert's voice, that to Robert it will be only a moment that he has been apart from us, but to us it is a lifetime...we have the hard part; we have the pain and the struggles the constant ache...I think of him all the time, I sense his presence all the time, I feel him all around me...I pray that you find your peace in anyway that you can...somehow find a way to cling to each other...God will and is carrying you...I remember thinking that He knew this pain all too well; that He himself watched His child suffer and die...for me, I told Him, yes I know you feel this and more...but, your Son, my Lord, chose His path; my Robert did not...it is hard...I think of you all the time...please, EAT! That may sound trite, but I do not think I ate for a month! I think of my Robert in heaven being the big brother to a little friend Seth; and when I saw how your Alexandria clung to her brothers, I saw a love like Robert had for his family and life...they would have been great friends, I know this, now they watch us all the time, all the while as we live on...God bless you, Love in Christ, Kathy Charlton
Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel <ckcharlton@aol.com>
West Palm Beach , FL USA - Monday, February 24, 2003 4:50 PM CST

---

Hi. I can only imagine your pain. I want you to know that people are still praying for you guys round the clock. Almost all the times were taken and I asked people to please continue to pray at their designated time until further notice. Everyone wanted so much to be able to do something for you guys. I hope that you are feeling the prayers of the saints in the midst of all your sorrows. Please know that I will be here every step of the way of your grief journey to help you however I can. I love you dearly. Lean on me anytime. Call or email any time of day or night, house phone or cell phone. Whatever I can do, I'm here. Blessings to you.
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, February 24, 2003 4:29 PM CST

---

I am so moved by your journal entry. People all over are wishing they could stop your pain. We are all now grieving for you and your wonderful family. I am so sorry for the loss of your darling Alexandria. We will pray for you, your husband, and your beautiful children.
E. Healy (Molly's Mom)
- Monday, February 24, 2003 4:29 PM CST

---

Alison, Grant and family - People like me around the world are praying for the comfort of your family and for the soul of dear little Alexandria.
Peace, Gloria McShane, ALL-mother <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, , UK - Monday, February 24, 2003 4:20 PM CST

---

I Want You to Know
by: Angela


A brief moment of darkness
was all that I knew,
before Heaven's Gate
came into my view.

Loved ones and friends
I have missed for many years,
welcomed me with open arms
and many happy tear.

All the hurt, fear and pain
that I have ever known,
is gone from my life and
I am finally home.

I gazed upon the Lord's
sweet smiling face,
and for the first time in my life
I knew and felt his grace.

I know that you miss me,
but please dry your eyes.
I will be watching and loving you
from my home in the sky.

A cool breeze on your face,
a touch of light rain,
I will send as a reminder
that we will be reunited again.

Life on earth is but one
brief moment in time,
I am finall home,
Eternity is mine.

I continue to pray for you.
Love,
Friend in Christ
NC - Monday, February 24, 2003 4:17 PM CST

---

Dear Alison and Grant,

Alexandria's Celebration Service was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. We are still amazed by your strength and faith. We cannot imagine how deep your pain must be. Alexandria is special to anyone who has been blessed to know her or to even know about her. We pray for your continued strength and comfort every day.

Love,

The Forness Family
Dan, Sally, Emma and Tommy Forness <forness2321@earthlink.net>
Ellisville, MO USA - Monday, February 24, 2003 3:51 PM CST

---

All of my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God reach out and hold you in his arms.
Kristina Bryan <bryank@slu.edu>
St. Louis, MO - Monday, February 24, 2003 3:34 PM CST

---

Alison, You are definetly deep in our prayers. You will find the strength. Alexandria always had so much of it. Where do you think she got much of it from? A LOT FROM YOU!!
Sharyn Duncan
- Monday, February 24, 2003 3:23 PM CST

---

Hello Grant and Alison,
The Celebration of Life ceremony for Alexandria on Saturday was beautiful. It once again reaffirmed the love you all shared with Alexandria. What a blessing it is to have known Alexandria and to have shared in your journey. Tears still flow freely every day as we read your journal entries and our prayers continue for all of you. May God continue to bless you with peace, comfort and strength,
The Erusha Family <rerusha@hotmail.com>
Ellisville, MO - Monday, February 24, 2003 2:32 PM CST

---

My heart breaks for you. I will pray for the Lord to hold you tightly at this time.
Love in Christ,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Monday, February 24, 2003 1:59 PM CST

---

Alison and Grant- I don't know what to say, because nothing will help your pain. Time will make it better, but it will never go away. I know you miss your sweet girl so much and it must be so hard to imagine living your life without her. Be comforted by the fact that you did everything you could do and more, and she knew she was so loved. Not very comforting when you would rather have her right next to you though. We are thinking of you all the time.
the Day family <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Monday, February 24, 2003 11:11 AM CST

---

Dear Grant and Alison,
I was ablt to attend Alexandria's Celebration of Life Service and how beautiful it was. I'm so proud to be able to say I have make changes in my life based on lessons learned from a brave and beautiful "10" year old child, a very special gift from God. My heart aches for you and the pain you feel. The Foot Prints poem, popped into my mind. God is truly carrying you and your family right now. Yesterday at Immaculate Conception, a friend of mine was singing at mass. After communion, she sang an oh so beautiful "Jesus Loves Me This I Know". Tears streaming down my face, I smiled and looked upward, knowing that as I sang in a whipser, Alexandria was singing right along with Linda. Our prayers and hugs are with you at this time.
Angela
Angela Brooks
- Monday, February 24, 2003 11:09 AM CST

---

Thinking of you and always praying for you.......

www.caringbridge.org/ky/ryans.hope
Michele, Ryan's mom
Hebron, ky - Monday, February 24, 2003 10:07 AM CST

---

I will pray and pray for peace and strength for you as you go through each day. I hope you feel God carrying you.
Christi Hamilton <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Monday, February 24, 2003 9:44 AM CST

---

All I can offer are my prayers. My heart breaks for you. I know you are in the Lord's embrace.
The Boyer Family
Champaign, il usa - Monday, February 24, 2003 9:38 AM CST

---

Alison and Grant,

I just read your update and with tears streaming down my face, too, my heart aches for you both. You mentioned the snowflakes--I found the words to the song I mentioned in yesterday's guestbook signing, "Holes in the Floor of Heaven." The words to the chorus are below:

"...there's holes in the floor of Heaven
And her tears are pouring down.
That's how you know she's watching,
Wishing she could be here now.
And sometimes if you're lonely
Just remember she can see;
There's holes in the floor of Heaven and she's
Watching over you and me."

Your family remains in my thoughts and prayers throughout each day. I know everytime it rains (or snows) I will think of Alexandria, too, and smile--I'm sure that's the way she would want it. :-) Seems she was a beam of smiles and sunshine everywhere she went. She will always be watching over you both and her brothers and sister, too. I know she was an Angel on Earth and now is a pain-free, pink-tipped winged Angel in Heaven.

I believe there is a reason for everything--no accidents. We may not always understand them, but I think Alexandria (and your entire family) have definitely been true messengers for Jesus. If her life had brought even ONE person to Him, it was not in vain!! By this website alone, it is obvious that she has touched countless lives during her (we think, much too short) life here.

I know no words will take away the pain, but I want you all to know that you are continually thought of and prayed for every minute of every hour of every day by many, many people across the country (and around the world, too, I'm sure.) There will forever be footprints on my heart from you and your precious Angel Alexandria.

Much love and continuing prayers,
Kristan's Aunt--
Misti Laws <misti@sonburntbytua.com>
Jackson , MO - Monday, February 24, 2003 8:51 AM CST

---

I was travelling on Saturday morning and as the snow began to fall, I couldn't help but think of your beautiful daughter and her wonderfully loving family and friends. I was never fortunate enough to meet Alex, but I feel truly blessed for having known her through your incredible journal entries on this website, and I, along with the thousands of others who have been following your story, grieve for you and your loss. May God continue to bring you peace and comfort -
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
St. Louis, - Monday, February 24, 2003 8:40 AM CST

---

Grant and Alison,
I was on vacation last week. I just read that Alexandria died. I'm so sorry, and I will continue to pray for both of you, and all of your beautiful children. I'm so sorry that the fight was so very difficult. It just does not seem right. Alexandria's determination and strong will always made me smile.
All my love,

Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
- Monday, February 24, 2003 8:08 AM CST

---

Hello, I am sorry about Alexandria. I never even knew her in person yet miss her a lot. I really like her artwork (I am an artist myself). The one that says "Stay strong" really touched me. It inspired me even more to keep going on this hard road called cancer. Thank you for sharing her with me on this website. It means a lot. I have and will continue to pray for you all.
Rachel Baumgartner <obsessedwithlife@hotmail.com>
St. Louis, mo - Monday, February 24, 2003 3:22 AM CST

---

Alison,

The picture of Alexandria in the Kitty costume is precious! Delaney loved cats and kittens. The outfit looks similar to one Delaney had for dress up. Both Alexandria and Delaney have magical smiles and sparkling eyes. I know they are great friends in heaven.
Wishing comfort and peace to your entire family.
Amy, Mom of Angel Delaney and Kevin, age 10 <www.caringbridge.com/ca/delaney>
San Diego, CA USA - Monday, February 24, 2003 2:23 AM CST

---

Grant & Alison,

Alexandria's Celebration of life was beautiful - I will never forget it. How amazing that a little girl can touch so many lives of people across the country and surely abroad. A lady moves to the podium at the celebration of life and says that she had never met Alexandria, however, Alexandria had touched her life to the point of renewing her faith in God (A faith that had been slipping) stronger than ever!!!!! To me that is Simply Unbelievable for a nine year to accomplish.

I wish there was a way to put the video of Alexandria and your family on this website. To those that didn't get a chance to see the video, it was incredible to see footage of Alexandria (please keep in mind this is a 9 1/2 year old girl) openly talking of her desire to repay all the kindness from people that had been shown to her.

I, myself had never met Alexandria either-----But I will never forget her!

Scott Vena


Scott Vena <forchiefs@aol.com>
Overland Park, KS USA - Sunday, February 23, 2003 11:51 PM CST

---

Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.
-Matthew 5:4

- Sunday, February 23, 2003 11:29 PM CST

---

The celebration of Alexandria's life yesterday was indeed a beautiful tribute to a very special beautiful girl. You all still amaze me with all your strength. Alexandria touched so many lives, you'll never know. I continue to send all of you love and prayers.
Love, Gwen Scott
- Sunday, February 23, 2003 10:59 PM CST

---

Just visiting (again) and wishing your family peace and comfort in the hard days ahead. How difficult it must be...

S. Walker
Chenango County, NY USA - Sunday, February 23, 2003 10:05 PM CST

---

I wish there was something clever or spirtual to say that would make your pain go away - I can't imagine how you feel right now. Continue to use your support system. You have so many people who care about your family. Your little Angel would not want you to be sad! Your ceremony for Alexandria was so beautiful yesterday - what great pictures of her throughout her life! We'll be praying for your family.
Julene
- Sunday, February 23, 2003 9:58 PM CST

---

No words will take away the pain you are feeling, but I wanted you and Grant to know once again if you need ANYTHING we are right around the corner. If you need time for just the two of you, you can drop off the kids and we will let them trash the place. That's what houses are for, it makes it feel like home when it's full of neighbor kids.
I also wanted to Thank You once again for sharing this entire journey with so many. Yesterday we came home with a new outlook on life and thank your entire family for that.
We continue to keep you in our prayers. (I think Alexandria is building a snowman and snowwoman in heaven right now in memory of Mom and Dad.)
Thom Shoemaker
Thom Shoemaker <thomas.shoemaker@direcway.com>
ofallon, MO - Sunday, February 23, 2003 9:57 PM CST

---

I KNOW I HAVE ALREADY WROTE ONCE TODAY, BUT IT WAS BEFORE I READ YOUR UPDATE. I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW BECAUSE OF YOUR DARLING ALEXANDRIA, BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU HAVE TAUGHT US SO MUCH ABOUT LOVING YOUR CHILD, AND YOU ALL HAVE REALLY TOUCHED SO MANY LIVES IT IS UNREAL! AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW BECAUSE OF YOU I STARTED OUR CARINGBRIDGE SITE, BECAUSE OF YOU PEOPLE, PEOPLE WHO KNOW YOU VISIT IT AND GIVE US SUCH AWESOME WORDS OF SUPPORT, BECAUSE OF YOU I HAVE HAD THE EXPERIENCE OF VISITING OTHER'S SITE AND PRAYING FOR THEM AS WELL. I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT DIFFERENCE YOU HAVE MADE TO US! THANK YOU!
LEE ANN (KRISTAN'S MOMMY)www.caringbridge.org/mo/kristangrace <dlblank@showme.net>
Scott City, MO Scott - Sunday, February 23, 2003 9:53 PM CST

---

Dear Alison and Grant, Well, you did it again, you amazed everyone with a beautiful service/celebration for your beloved Alexandria. You showed us all again what a strong family you are, even though you must have been physically and emotionally exhausted and your hearts breaking, you showed such strength, you are in our thoughts this evening, I'm sure Alexandria is looking down, singing and smiling... she KNEW how loved she was...
Lynn Gupta <lynngupta@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO 63011 - Sunday, February 23, 2003 9:45 PM CST

---

Alison,I can't even imagine the pain you are feeling in your heart. Like every other entry your words are beautiful,and you can feel your love for your angel Alexandria. I will be praying for your family to find comfort. Please know you are loved by so many people who have never even met you, and many who have been so fortunate to know your family and Alexandria. Take care we love you guys!
Tonya <www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
SLC, UT - Sunday, February 23, 2003 9:41 PM CST

---

Your story certainly makes one put life in to perspective...what a truly generous caring strong person you are..an inspration to me as a Mother and a woman...thank you for taking the time to comfort all of us...
D-
Pittsburgh, - Sunday, February 23, 2003 9:37 PM CST

---

As I brought up the new photos Logan walked up and saw Alexandria's painting and said "WOW, that it VERY good!". I agree. We are stll offering prayers for your very special family, I have never seen such a beautiful, loving , special family.
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy)
dlblank@showme.net, - Sunday, February 23, 2003 7:44 PM CST

---

hi,
I hope u dont mind me leaving a message in your guestbook. I found your page through another caringbrigde page. A little boy called Sean Marone.

I felt I had to write something. I have been looking in on your page for about 3-4weeks. Words are not enough at this time. I have been so touched by Alexandria & her families story. I have been praying for u all.

I wanted u to know. Following u through this time has truely changed my life. I have a 6mth old son. Every day I hug his a little bit tighter. I look at my life now & know just how precious & delicate it really is. I hope I never have to go through what u all have. But if I did, I would like to think I could be that strong, especially for my child like u where.

I hope that Saturday went well, and u all celebrated the wonderful person 'Alexandria'.

may god bless u
u continue to be in my prayers
Claire & little Finlay
claire <claireecampbell@aol.com>
surrey, england, uk - Sunday, February 23, 2003 5:47 PM CST

---

Your daughter's artwork is so special. I am so sorry for your loss. I have followed your site for so long and wanted to let you know that I will continue to pray for your family everyday. Your family is an aboslute example and inspiration of living and loving. I found a site you may be interested in. Its an amazing artist who makes beautiful jewelry from children's artwork. Go to her site and check it out. I have never seen anything like it. She makes each piece by hand and it truly captures the child in the piece. The site is: www.totallyoutofhand.com . If I could afford, I would simple order you one of Alexandria's beautiful work right now.
a friend <edwarto@aol.com>
tampa, fl usa - Sunday, February 23, 2003 4:32 PM CST

---

iam so sorry to hear about your daughter alexander and well at least she is in a place were she feels no pian no suffering any more with our saver and father jesus christ
iam praying for yall and your famileys
Randi Patterson <goody_2shoes_15_texas@yahoo.com>
Brady, tx - Sunday, February 23, 2003 4:19 PM CST

---

Alison and Grant,
Your family has been in my thoughts and prayers as you begin this difficult journey of life without your precious Alexandria. Thank you for sharing her life with us through your journal entries.
Alice(Aunt to Heaven's Angel Janie) <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, Al - Sunday, February 23, 2003 4:04 PM CST

---

WOW! What a letter you have posted. The tears are streaming for you & your family. You are in my thoughts & prayers. God bless you.
Sheila
Peru, IN USA - Sunday, February 23, 2003 3:04 PM CST

---

Dear Haddock Family,
I'm sure that Alexandria's life celebration service was beautiful, yesterday. I just wanted to let you all know that although I wasn't there, you were in my thoughts and prayers all through the day.

I don't know if it rained up there yesterday, but here in Jackson, MO it rained most of the day. I told my husband that as I knew Alexandria's celebration service was going on, I kept thinking of the country song "Holes in the Floor of Heaven."

May your faith and love for the Lord continue to give your family the strength and peace you need. I am continually praying with you, too. God Bless.

Continuing "Prayer Warrior,"
Kristan's Aunt--
Misti Laws <misti@sonburntbytua.com>
Jackson, MO - Sunday, February 23, 2003 2:59 PM CST

---

To try and tell people of the events of yesterday just does not even come close to doing it justice. Mike and I have done nothing but talk about how your whole journey has made us better people. I never want to lose this feeling I have today and that is what family and love are all about. You gave all of us a gift yesterday that moved each and everyone of us. We laughed, we cried and we got to know Alexandria even better. There were people there that never had the pleasure of meeting this amazing child but they left the church yesterday knowing her. I have such a new profound look on life, family and relationships. I am so gratful that God put you in our lives (even better, right next door) and because of that, I am a better person!!
We love you all.
Tracey
Tracey Mazur
- Sunday, February 23, 2003 2:39 PM CST

---

We are so sorry for your loss and will pray for all of you. We came to your website from Kailie's. We met her and her family at Andy's "celebration of life". A day does't go by that our thoughts and prayers don't turn to all of you, may GOD comfort and keep you. Love, Jim and Sue Meppiel
Jim and Sue Meppiel <jmeppe@hotmail.com>
Waterloo, IL - Sunday, February 23, 2003 2:18 PM CST

---

Dad, I think what you wrote is beautiful.
I just wish it werent necessary.
I cant begin to imagine the loss you feel.
Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Sunday, February 23, 2003 1:17 PM CST

---

Alexandria's service was beautiful, and the love that radiated to and from your family was truly amazing! You will probably never know how many people you have touched and how many lives you have changed through the sharing of Alexandria's heroic battle, but I can guarantee you that parents around the globe are cherishing, hugging, and listening to their children (even teenagers and older) much more because of you. Thank you.
Love, Ms. Pam
Pam Passwater
Wildwood, MO - Sunday, February 23, 2003 11:12 AM CST

---

What a beautiful service you had on Saturday. Thank you for all the awesome pictures too! I had to leave early for Lincolns' Birtday party ! So I missed the video - bummer... Keeping you in thoughts and prayers. The Schwartzs'..
Lisa Schwartz <jimlisaschwartz@msn.com>
O'Fallon, Mo - Sunday, February 23, 2003 10:21 AM CST

---

In the short time that I have been visiting your web site, Alexandria has touched me. Heaven has truly gained a beautiful angel! My prayers are with your family.
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA. - Sunday, February 23, 2003 1:13 AM CST

---

I wish I would have known her. I wish I'd have known what you were going through so I could have helped. Suddenly the fact that your child isn't invited to a birthday party
or your babies have the flu just doesn't matter any more.
Angela
- Sunday, February 23, 2003 0:19 AM CST

---

I am sure your celebration was a beautiful, touching one. The letter that you wrote was so sweet. I have read it several times. Like someone said, dads are supposed to make it all better. I am sure you did! Alexandria sounded so loved. And she knows it! God Bless
gina geddings, mommy of angel Morgan <mimor2@comcast.net ~~ www.caringbridge.com/sc/morganspage>
- Saturday, February 22, 2003 11:24 PM CST

---

Love Goes On


When you're feeling down
And it hurts to face the day
Just look around
I'm beside you all the way

When you hear my voice
No you haven't lost your mind
I'm here by choice
And I won't leave you behind

I will always be here watching over you
Life goes on
Love goes on

When your poor heart cries
And you feel like noone cares
Just close your eyes
And you'll see me standing there

I will always be here watching over you
Life goes on
Love goes on

Oh, I see Heaven when I look into your heart
It's all around you
It's where the real life starts

When the moment comes
And the world gives you away
We'll be as one
And in Paradise I'll say

I will always be here watching over you
Life goes on
Love goes on










.
- Saturday, February 22, 2003 9:58 PM CST

---

Thank you for that special child! My computer crashed and I just read the news on Gooch's site. I will continue to pray for your family. Alexandria made a mark on more people than you will ever know, but she will proudly tell you all about it in the future. She knows everything now!
God bless your family
Billy Bruce <hollandkat@adelphia.net>
Ironton, Oh - Saturday, February 22, 2003 9:54 PM CST

---

My thoughts and prayers have been with all of you today... I hope you found comfort in the arms of God!
Hugs and much love!
Lynn
PA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 9:45 PM CST

---

Thinking of you all today!
Paula
Chesterfield , Mo - Saturday, February 22, 2003 9:42 PM CST

---

Alison, Grant, and Children,

God, our heavenly Father, so closely identifies with His children that our tears are His.
Today, your tears were on His face. May our Father's Holy Spirit continue to minister Love and Compassion to your whole family.
All these pages with the out-pouring of love and prayers from so many has touched me deeply. It confirms over and over how good God is "All" the time moment by moment meeting our every need...just when we need Him most.

Joy comes in the Morning...Psalms 30:5, may His joy be your strength...Nehemiah 8:10.
I am praying that you feel His presence and the gift of His mercy...secure in His incomparable love.

Lifting you up in the name of Jesus.............Sherry


Sherry Wideman
St. Clair, Mo. - Saturday, February 22, 2003 9:04 PM CST

---

Dear Haddock family,
Today was a difficult day as I thought about you having to say good-bye to beautiful Alexandria. I know your heart is breaking, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, and praying for God to give you strength. I pray that Addison, Hunter, & Hayden are doing okay. I wish I were there to help you, if nothing else but to give you all a hug. I am so sorry.
Debbie Little <littlecaleb@hotmail.com>
Dickson, TN U.S.A. - Saturday, February 22, 2003 8:43 PM CST

---

Thoughts and prayers remain with you, your family, and your special Alexandria. And thanks to all of your friends who shared moments from today's celebration of Alexandria's life.
Peggy S.
Fairview Heights, IL - Saturday, February 22, 2003 7:28 PM CST

---

Grant,
We are so saddened to hear of your loss and to only imagine what sorrow you must be feeling. We will be praying for peace for you and your family.

Love, Rosemary and Tom Anderson
Rosemary and Tom Anderson
Des Peres, MO - Saturday, February 22, 2003 7:28 PM CST

---

We've never met, most likely never will and I was thinking of your family all day. I'm sure the tribute to Alexandria was a true reflection of the love and devotion we've all seen in this website. I pray that you find the peace and comfort you will need in the time ahead. God bless you and your children.
Jennifer
Pittsburgh, PA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 7:22 PM CST

---

Today's service was so beautiful and touching. I can't stop replaying the wonderful video that Grant and your friends from church put together in my mind. We laughed, we cryed, but most of all we all walked away with a part of Alexandria forever etched in our hearts. You have to be so happy knowing that she left this earth feeling so loved. The part of the video I keep going back to was when she was on the boat gliding through the water. She looked as though she was flying and that is how I see her now. Flying, gliding, and free. So much like the bird that was flying by the windows during the service. It makes me feel better to think that bird was her, flying by to make sure you were all doing ok. My prayers during the 24 hour prayer chain were that you would have strength to make it through this very sad day. I thank God for answering those prayers. Your strength was remarkable.
Love and continued prayers,
Nancy Balkenbusch
Ellisville, Mo - Saturday, February 22, 2003 7:17 PM CST

---

You all have been very much in our thoughts today as we pray that you have the strength to get through this day.
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy)
- Saturday, February 22, 2003 6:59 PM CST

---

This is my first visit. I am so sorry. It sounds as though she was loved very much. We'll keep you in our prayers.

DeAnna and family <www.caringbridge.org/ga/chasesmiracle/>
Ga USA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 6:17 PM CST

---

Grant and Alison- Pete said today's service was absolutely beautiful. The video montage was incredible and he really felt like he got to know her personality. He said she was adorable and so funny. I wish I could have been there. I hope you are doing ok and the kids are getting through this. I know you miss her so much. Take care-
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Saturday, February 22, 2003 5:04 PM CST

---

We were so sad to hear about Alexandria. We heard about the bone marrow transplant offered by her brave brother and had prayed that would make Alexandria better. We remember her gorgeous, long auburn hair, her gentle nature and her beautiful smile. She is indeed a treasure in heaven as she was on earth. Your friends at Claymont Preschool pray for you. You are all in our prayers and a true inspiration to all around you. God Bless.
Angie, Steve, Madison, Erin and Gwenn Pietrowski <Pietrowski@charter.net>
Chesterfield, MO USA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 4:43 PM CST

---

To all of you who were unable to join in the celebration of Alexandria's life today, I want to tell you what a beautiful celebration it was. The church was packed to overflowing and wonderful visual tributes were everywhere. A touching video was produced and played for us all. It featured Alexandria in all her spendor. We listened and watched her play her guitar while she sang praises to Jesus. Wish everybody could have been there. It was, you guesed it, AMAZING...just like her!
Judy V
- Saturday, February 22, 2003 3:43 PM CST

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Grant and Alison,
What a beautiful Celebration of Life today. What a tribute to God and his glory. It was awesome to see her on her 9 1/2 birthday and how she was so happy about everything. Happy that she didn't hurt, here, here, and here. Happy that she had so many people praying for her, and Happy to share a cup cake with someone to make them feel better. And most of all happy that she had each of you as parents. What a selfless person. We will continue to keep you in our prayers.
With Love,
Jack Pyle & Family
- Saturday, February 22, 2003 3:34 PM CST

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Thinking of you all today.
The family of Jackson Espeseth <http://www.caringbridge.com/wi/jacksons.journey>
Clear Lake, WI - Saturday, February 22, 2003 3:16 PM CST

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I am so sotty to hear about Alexandria's death. My boyfriend is Ryan Grumish and he actually went to see her on my Birthdy this last year while he was visiting me in St. Louis and i remember him saying how great of a person she was and what a great spirit she had. I am keeping your family in my prayers.
Alexandra Kibler <Bluid baby222@aol.com>
St. Louis, mo usa - Saturday, February 22, 2003 2:58 PM CST

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Grant & family,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I did not know Alexandria, and have not seen you in years, but I wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts! Your letter was beautiful. You can feel the love your family has.
Please know we are praying for you!
Love, Leslie (Hearnes) Huggins
Leslie Huggins <leslie.huggins@maritz.com>
Kirkwood, MO USA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 2:51 PM CST

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We just wanted to let you know that even though we could not be with you today, in person, our thoughts and prayers certainly were. You family is amazing and we will always remember sweet Alexandria. God bless you.

Love -
Rob, Amy, Emily, and Ryan Farrell
The Farrell Family <amydfarrell@msn.com>
Hampton, VA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 2:06 PM CST

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Dear Alison and Grant,

I am thinking of you today-keeping you close in my prayers.

Love,
Andrea Passarella and family
Andrea Passarella <www.passarella.com/matthew.htm>
Swedesboro, NJ - Saturday, February 22, 2003 1:59 PM CST

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Haddock Family

What a beautiful service to celebrate the life of Alexandria this morning. Your strength has touched so many lives. Alison, your words spoke right to my heart...a mother's love for her daughter so gracefully spoken. Continued prayers for you and the kids in the days to come.
(P.S. I also noticed that on the day Alexandrias life was celebrated, your website will have 100,000 hits of love and support!)
Kim Behlmann <Kimbehlmann@charter.net>
O'fallon, Mo USA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 12:52 AM CST

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Alison,Grant, and Family, I wanted to let you know our thoughts are with you today. I have you guys on my mind every single day, and wonder how you are doing. Your letter to God was so beautiful, and brought tears to my eyes. Alexandria is a true angel, and I know she will be with you today and always in your hearts. Love you all. You will be in our prayers!
Tonya <www.caringbridge.org/ut/amanda>
SLC, UT - Saturday, February 22, 2003 11:56 AM CST

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Alexandria is in peace; and I pray for that same peace to come to your family. She will continue to be with you everyday, yet now pain free. Our prayers are with you.
Diane
Ballwin, mo - Saturday, February 22, 2003 11:40 AM CST

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Hi. I'm so sorry that I can't be there in person today, but my spirit and my thoughts and prayers have been with you from the very first time I met you and will continue to be with you into eternity. Know that I am here and that I love you. I haven't been feeling well this week because of treatment and have been sleeping a lot. I thought you'd like to know that the Lord woke me up at 11am SHARP here--10am SHARP there--the time of Alexandria's services. No such thing as a coincidence. He was reminding me of the celebration for His precious daughter Alexandria that is going on today--a party of sorts, but a difficult one at best. I know He will provide you with the strength you need. He's been by you every step of the way--He won't leave now. Lean on me if you need to--I'll be here. I don't know what I can do or say. I know there are no words to chase away the pain or to fill the void. Only arrival in Heaven will do that. But for now, take comfort in the fact that Alexandria knew how much you love her and how much God loves her and she is waiting for you with Jesus--both of them with open arms and big smiles. I love you guys!
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Saturday, February 22, 2003 10:40 AM CST

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Alison and Family: Unfortunately, just being there myself I know how hard today is for you and I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and keeping you all in my prayers.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 9:38 AM CST

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I am a friend of Judy Grumish and have actually met your family at CHildren's Hospital I believe when we did one of our holiday parties on the wing. Your journal is so touching and the love you share with your daughter for eternity is so moving. Our family will keep all of you in our prayers !!! Fondly, Mary Jo and family
Mary Jo Dazey and family
St. Charles, - Saturday, February 22, 2003 9:36 AM CST

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GRANT, OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS I HAVE SEEN A FAMILY WITH MORE LOVE AND DEVOTION THAN ANY OTHER FAMILY I HAVE KNOWN. I HOPE THAT YOU MAY CONTINUE TO DRAW FROM THAT OCEAN OF LOVE TO HELP YOU THROUGH THIS TIME. WITH CHRISTS FAMILY LOVE, CHRIS
CHRIS WILLIAMS <clklus@yahoo.com>
BALLWIN, MO USA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 8:05 AM CST

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With you in thoughts and prayers today.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Saturday, February 22, 2003 6:59 AM CST

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Words evade me, tears flow freely, and I never knew your little angel except through these pages. Thank you for that.I will be thinking of your family and friends as you celebrate her life and let her embrace you from Heaven from now on. You gave her love and got it in return.
Love is the best medicine! Let it heal your hurt!
Ivy
ivy...caringbridge.org/wa/cameronboyd <poisenivj@aol.com>
lynnwood, wa usa - Saturday, February 22, 2003 3:13 AM CST

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Praying for you always.
Kathy
St. Peters, Mo - Friday, February 21, 2003 10:10 PM CST

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Dear Haddocks,
May tomorrow be a beautiful day of celebration of a beautiful life, Alexandria Nicole Haddock. I pray that you feel a closeness of her soul at this time and may God hold you during this difficult day. Praying for you always.
Love in Christ,
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Friday, February 21, 2003 10:01 PM CST

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Grant, Alison and family, Please accept our prayers and condolences, Jill and I have read all of the journal entries, and cannot begin to fathom such a loss. To answer the famous question asked by Eric Clapton... Yes, She'll know your name, when you see her in heaven. All our Love, Jim (Chick) Jill, Sarah and Abigail Schneider
James A Schneider <JSchneider1308@aol.com>
Ballwin, MO USA - Friday, February 21, 2003 9:20 PM CST

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Dear Grant, Alison & family, Not a day goes by that I don't think of Alexandria and all of you. And still check this web site daily for updates, not our your beautiful angel Alexandria but on how all of you are doing. That is a very beautiful and touching tribute that Grant wrote. I'm sure there will be many, many friends and family members at Alexandria's Celebration of Life tomorrow. You will all be on my mind, in my thoughts and in my prayers.
God Bless you all.

Billie Jo Eccardt
Olathe, Ks - Friday, February 21, 2003 8:54 PM CST

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Dear Grant, Alison & Family,

We were so sorry to hear about Alexandrias passing. You have all been, and will continue to be, in our thoughts and prayers. I do believe that Alexandria is touching many others lives in heaven. She was a remarkable child.

All my love.




Cynthia Etter <jeffreyetter@aol.com>
Manchester, MO USA - Friday, February 21, 2003 7:28 PM CST

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You've been in my thoughts and prayers for so long now. Tomorrow I will be thinking of you again and praying for strength and peace for your entire family. God bless you all.
Ann O'Neil
San Diego, CA - Friday, February 21, 2003 6:59 PM CST

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Alison and Grant- I read and reread the journal and it never fails to overwhelm me with emotion. Tomorrow will be the hardest day of your life. There will never be anything more difficult. You will get through it, and you will know then that you can get through absolutely anything. Your pain will never truly abate, but you will find ways to handle it and compartmentalize it, and you will enjoy life again someday. All the while, Alexandria will be ever present in your lives, and her memory will never fade or grow dim. I wish I could be there tomorrow to pay my respects along with Pete, but know that I will be thinking of you all. Love, Melissa Day
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Friday, February 21, 2003 6:31 PM CST

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Please know that all of you are in our thoughts and prayers. We were so sorry to hear about Alexandria's passing.

You don't know us, but we are good friends of the Croaks and Sister Judith. Cindy told me on Wednesday of Alexandria going home to be with the Lord and then I happened to talk to Sister Judith and she told me that she had gotten to know you over the last week.

Sister Judith is a very dear friend of ours through our journey at Cardinal Glennon. Our son Robby also went home to be with the Lord 5 years ago. We'll pray for peace for you and your loved ones and just know that Jesus has got you in the palm of His hand and He will carry you through the days ahead. Alexandria's spirit is with you and God loves you all very much. That truly is a comfort.

God Bless and maybe one day in the future we can meet.

Love - Bill & Barb Maher



Bill & Barb Maher <bbmaher@att.net>
St. Louis, MO - Friday, February 21, 2003 6:29 PM CST

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This is a article given to me by my father in law. I think it should be retitled "Ode to Alison"

The Most Important Person...
on earth is a mother. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral--a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's body...The angels have not been blessed with such a grace. They cannot share in Gods creative miracle to bring new saints to Heaven. Only a human mother can. Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creature. God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation...What on God's good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother?
--Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty

God bless you Alison for sharing your saint to all of us.
Don & Ann Newsham
- Friday, February 21, 2003 6:27 PM CST

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Alison & Grant, I know tomorrow will be a celebration of life for Alexandria and a true testament to her courage, innocence, and love... Joella called today and told me about their wonderful visit with you all. I am so glad that she, Mallory and Olivia are sharing with you what we all feel. If I am not able to be there its not because I am not praying and thinking about all of you at this time. I hope to visit soon and see you and Grant again... then finally meet your wonderful children. I hear Hunter looks just like Johnny, Hayden maybe like Uncle Joe and Addison is beautiful and very lively. My thoughts and prayers are with you tomorrow and everyday.
Nancy Kay
New Madrid, MO - Friday, February 21, 2003 4:16 PM CST

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Alison, Grant and family -- my prayers are with your family. I do not know you, but have only read about Alexandria through your web site. What an amazing child. Grant your letter is so touching to read. My heart goes out to your family during this very difficult time. God Bless all of you.
Jan, mom to Kelly (9) Colin (6 1/2) and Emma (2) Colin relapse ALL 9/9/02: http://caringbridge.org/wi/colin/ <jan866@aol.com>
Glendale, WI USA - Friday, February 21, 2003 2:53 PM CST

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Dear Alison and Grant,
I am so sorry for your loss. Although Alexandrias life was short here on earth, she is in the best place, wrapped in God's arms.
Meredith Holland <sholl648@earthlink.net>
Bois D'Arc, MO 65612 - Friday, February 21, 2003 2:35 PM CST

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You are in our every thought and every prayer. Not a day goes by that I don't think about your family. In the little time we new Alexandria she was such a beautiful person. She will be missed so much. Your family has taught us the true meaning of Love and family and I thank you for that. We continue to pray for you always.
Jeanine Riendeau <Jrien0512@aol.com>
Ofallon, MO usa - Friday, February 21, 2003 1:34 PM CST

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Dear Haddocks - I am one of the many people you've never met, but I have followed your journey, and have left a few guestbook entries. I too have lost a child to cancer, so unfortunately I can say that I know exactly what you are enduring. My heart aches for you and I can't stop thinking about sweet Alexandria. And I guess that I am also grieving for myself again too. My hope is that you may feel Alexandria's soul close to you, now and always. I know there are no words of comfort I can offer you, but I wish you all strength, as you begin yet another very difficult life change.
Patty, mom to angel Jonathan <jpnwhite@adelphia.net>
- Friday, February 21, 2003 12:21 AM CST

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I am really looking forward to meeting, singing and dancing with Alexandria in heaven! I am so sorry about your loss here and now, you did not waste a moment of her life here on earth. In addition to the way you so lovingly met all of Alexandria's physical and emotional needs, you both did the most important thing a parent can do, enable their children to know about God and His goodness. You and your children are continually in my prayers for peace, wonderful memories and steadfast faith.
Elaine R
St. Charles, MO - Friday, February 21, 2003 11:42 AM CST

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Dear Haddocks,
I check your site often and each time I have to cry (and smile) when I read Grant's letter. I thought it was absolutely breathtaking--the beauty of a father's love. Of course, it is also comforting to know that the only thing stronger than his love is Our Heavenly Father's love for us all. He HAS now healed your beautiful Alexandria with her pink-tipped wings, and will (in time) provide strength and healing to those whose lives she touched here on earth.

As I've said before, I've only come to "know" you all through your website (and Lee Ann), but what an impact you have truly made in my life. I now (by your example) hold my family a little tighter and let them know, more often, just how much I love them, too. Thank you so much for sharing all you have with us through your powerful journal entries. Even in all your family's afflictions and adversity, it has been so obvious that your faith has not wavered, but has sustained you.

When I think of how you have ministered to SO many people, I think of the words of St. Francis of Assisi, "Preach the Gospel every day. If necessary, use words." You all truly are a walking testiment of Jesus and His love. Know that God is well pleased!! :-)

The BEST (not the only) thing I can do for your family is to continue to keep you all in my prayers each and every day--know that I will.

God will continue to bless and comfort you with His strength and everlasting love.

With my love and prayers,
Kristan's Aunt--
Misti Laws <misti@sonburntbytua.com>
Jackson, MO - Friday, February 21, 2003 11:25 AM CST

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May God Bless your family through these times. I just read for an update this morning and my heart goes out to you. I am sure Alexandria is one of the most beautiful Angels up there and as far as her desires, God must be meeting them one after another because after all, it is HEAVEN! I am sure your heart feels empty. I will pray for you. Love, Tracy
Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook :)
Tracy Solomon
- Friday, February 21, 2003 11:21 AM CST

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Men Do Cry

I heard quite often "men don't cry"
Though no one ever told me why
So when I fell and skinned a knee
No one came to comfort me.
And when some bully boy at school
Would pull a prank so mean and cruel
I'd quickly learn to turn and quip,
"It doesn't hurt", and bite my lip.

So as I grew to reasoned years
I learned to stifle any tears.
Though "be a big boy" it began,
Quite soon I learned to "be a man".

And I could play that stoic role
While storm and tempest wracked my soul
No pain or setback could there be
Could wrest one single tear from me.

Then one long night I stood nearby
And helplessly watched my daughter die,
And quickly found to my surprise
That all that tearless talk was lies.

And still I cry and have no shame
I cannot play that "big boy" game,
And openly without remorse
I let my sorrow take it's course.

So those of you who can't abide
A man you've seen whose often cried,
Reach out to him with all your heart
As one whose life's been torn apart.

For men do cry when they can see
Their loss of immorality.
And tears will come in endless streams
When mindless fate destroys their dreams.

--Ken Faulk

What you wrote tares at my heart strings with tears of both sadness and joy. Alexandria will never be forgotten as she lives forever in the many, many hearts that she left footprints on. Thank you for the window into her wonderful time on this earth.

^HUGS^
Emily Ann's Daddy
The Dobrowski's, David, Judy, Katie, Dana and ^Angel^ Emily Ann
<davidd@comporium.net-------www.caringbridge.org/page/emiann>
Rockhill, South Carolina
Rainbow of Hope, 5200 Family and Cancer Sucks Club members - Friday, February 21, 2003 10:37 AM CST

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Our prayers are with you while looking forward to one day seeing you reunited together in heaven.
STAY THE ROAD BROTHER!
Your frind and brother in Christ.
Mark and Laura Rasch <mark@benchmarkdevelopers.com>
Des Peres, MO St. Louis - Friday, February 21, 2003 10:37 AM CST

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Good Morning,
Praying for healing and strength again today! Sharing the tribute to Alexandria as it speaks volumes! Thinking of all of you and praying often!
Kelley Johnson
Westerville, OH - Friday, February 21, 2003 9:14 AM CST

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Dearest Family,
God Bless You for letting us into your hearts.
Praying God give you Comfort, Peace, and Strength.

Chris Ullrich - Bella's Grammy <c_ullrich@msn.com, www.caringbridge.com/page/isabellaledesma>
Hemingford, Ne USA - Friday, February 21, 2003 8:46 AM CST

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While we have never met, I have just learned of your loss through a mutual friend. I know that words cannot even begin to express your feelings of loss at this time, but your testament to your daughter was truly touching and beautiful - I offer you peace and comfort through prayer and want you to know that you all will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Cooper Evans and Family <autigerzz@aol.com>
Vestavia Hills, AL USA - Friday, February 21, 2003 8:17 AM CST

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Thinking of you.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
- Friday, February 21, 2003 8:13 AM CST

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Grant and Allison,

Monica and I can't begin to comprehend all the pain your family has endured recently. You two were right beside Alexandria every step of the way and the courage and spirit she displayed was a testament to the benefits of having such wonderful role models. Hang in there guys!

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Lee and Monica Lummus <mblummus@earthlink.net>
St. Louis, MO - Thursday, February 20, 2003 10:34 PM CST

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Thinking about you all the time. You have taught us so much. I pray you get through this with all the strength that got you through the last few years. You're amazing parents. Love, Cat
Cat Borkowski
- Thursday, February 20, 2003 10:32 PM CST

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I like so many have never met your family but am truly touched by you. What a beautiful, beautiful letter you wrote to God reminding him of how special Alexandria is. I have been following you for about a month now and wish there was something more I could offer you. I cannot even imagine how you are feeling. I will continue to pray for healing of your family. Your precious angel is now healed with her pink tipped wings and how ironic is it that now you guys are in need of healing.

May god bless each & every one of you. After reading your beautiful tribute to your precious daughter, I will embrace my daughter extra long tonight!

With lots of love and prayers,

a friend from Colorado!!!
- Thursday, February 20, 2003 9:48 PM CST

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An Interview With God

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/popup2.html
A Friend
- Thursday, February 20, 2003 9:24 PM CST

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Dear Grant,
You could not have written a more beautiful testament to your little angel and Allison. She will forever know how much she is loved.
Debbi Lohse <debbi713@optonline.net>
Eastport, NY USA - Thursday, February 20, 2003 7:44 PM CST

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Grant,

My heartfelt thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

Gary
Gary Gill
Poway, CA USA - Thursday, February 20, 2003 4:19 PM CST

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Thank you for sharing such a beautiful tribute to your daughter. Although I never was fortunate enough to meet her in person, I feel like I knew her through the journal entries and the darling stories that Nancy (Cole) shared with me. Alexandria has the sweetest little personality. Your tribute reminds me that we are all on "borrowed time" and that every moment we share with our children is a blessing that God has bestowed upon us. Thank you for reminding me of that. God bless your family.
Katy Davis
St Peters, MO - Thursday, February 20, 2003 2:38 PM CST

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Grant and Alison,
Today my heart is very heavy but I keep reading the beautiful tribute my brother has written for Alexandria our little princess, I wish with all my heart I could be as good of parents as you guys are. You both are fine examples to all of us!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you all
I love you guys,
Auntie Hayley

Hayley Hadock <mommydanger@yahoo.com>
St. Louis, Mo. USA - Thursday, February 20, 2003 2:08 PM CST

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God bless you deeply - what a tribute to a special little angel and a loving family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Emily Porter <etcook@novanthealth.org>
Winston-Salem, NC USA - Thursday, February 20, 2003 1:53 PM CST

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I am smiling & crying at the same time. What a heartfelt entry. I love the descripitons of what Alexandria liked to eat, do, etc. It really is so special of you to share that with all of us. Thank you. Praying for you & your family. Alexandria is now in such a great pain free place with beautiful "pink" tipped angel wings. What a beautiful picture that brings to mind.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Thursday, February 20, 2003 12:49 AM CST

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I'm just checking in to see how you're doing. It must be so hard to function. I'm so glad you have each other and the kids to cling to. You will get through this- just take it one minute at a time, and know that Alexandria is thought often and will be forever. love, Melissa
Melissa Day <melissaday@insightbb.com>
Fishers, IN - Thursday, February 20, 2003 12:30 AM CST

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What a very beautiful tribute to your precious daughter..May Jesus wrap you up in His arms of love and hold you until the storm passes by..
Carolyn {quilts of love}



Carolyn <carolynj52@ilovejesus.net>
OK - Thursday, February 20, 2003 12:27 AM CST

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I am visiting your site again today to read once again Grant's beautiful tribute to his beautiful princess angel Alexandria--and again I am in tears. I admire you both so much & aspire to bring the love and faith you have in your home into ours. It is so easy to get caught up in life & I pray that I can slow down & cherish all the moments however small they may be.

I want to thank you for sharing your hearts with us during the difficult journey. The impact on our lives has been tremendous. May God give you peace in knowing that your angel is in His loving arms & may he comfort you with all of the beautiful memories of time together here on earth.

With all of our love & deepest sympathy
Beth Pyle
- Thursday, February 20, 2003 12:24 AM CST

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Hi, It's Kelly Boeckman, Hayden and Addisons preschool teacher last year. I am so sad, but know Alex is with Jesus. I am praying for all your family. I miss you Hayden! I miss you too Addison! God is the strenght of your heart. I know no words can help the ache in your hearts right now. So I'll leave you with my sympathy and heart felt prayers. I love you guys. Ms Kelly
Kelly Boeckman <graciemarlene@aol.com>
Chesterfield, mo USA - Thursday, February 20, 2003 12:21 AM CST

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Just by chance I came to your website yesterday, and your family has not strayed from my thoughts. I am so sorry for your loss. It is a heartbreak that I can not begin to imagine, but I have wept many tears for the loss of this beautiful little girl. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Leza Nelson <lnelson@longleafenergy.com>
Brewton, AL - Thursday, February 20, 2003 11:58 AM CST

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Dear Grant and family,

My eyes are filled with tears as I just finished reading your wonderful letter. We are so sorry for the loss of your precious angel. It is so apparent what a wonderful father you are. I am certain that your angel is looking down at you and thanking you for all that you did for her.

You are an inspiration to me and all fathers.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mark Grillo and Family
Englewood, CO - Thursday, February 20, 2003 11:50 AM CST

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Psalm 136 has 26 verses and each one of them ends with "...for his mercy endureth for ever"

Johnelle recently bought a Joy Williams CD "By Surprise" that contains a song called "The Love Of The Lord Endures". I was sitting here at work listening to the lyrics and I started to cry because I know that the pain you feel can only be comforted by the fact that the love of The Lord does endure. His love endures forever. Another thing that endures forever is the mark that Alexandria left on the hearts of many people, some who never had a chance to meet this precious little girl. It pains us deeply that you have to hurt. We pray for each of you throughout the day. There is no way you could go through this without having faith in Jesus. We love you all so much.

The lyrics are below.

THE LOVE OF THE LORD ENDURES
JOY WILLIAMS

In all that I have found
Your ever love abound
I've always sensed
Your fingerprints
If I just look around
Get list from display
Will also pass away
So I hold on to the mighty truth
That Your love is here to stay

The love of the Lord endures
The love of the Lord endures
If there's one thing I can be sure
Is that the love of the Lord endures

Life has let me down
In wealth, joy can't be found
I've searched for peace
In all of these
But I have always found

The love of the Lord endures
The love of the Lord endures
If there's one thing I can be sure
Is that the love of the Lord endures

So when stumble, when I fall
When I'm walking' 10 feet tall
Your love is there
Day after day
So even at the worse extremes
Or even when I've been redeemed,
Your love is there
And it won't let me go

The love of the Lord endures
The love of the Lord endures
If there's one thing I can be sure
Is that the love of the Lord endures
The love of the Lord endures
Forever, forever


There aren't many things that I am totally sure of, but this I do know for certain Is that the love of the Lord endures. We know that the hurt will continue and your hearts will ache, but thanks be to God that His love does indeed endure.

Psalm 136:1: O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.

In Christ's eternal love,
John & Johnelle Rhines

Kailie's Site
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, February 20, 2003 11:38 AM CST

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That is the most beautiful and touching letter. As the tears roll down my face I imagine that beautiful little girl with her pink tipped wings. She will live on forever in all of our hearts. Love Cat
Cat Borkowski
- Thursday, February 20, 2003 10:49 AM CST

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God Bless you and your family. Our prayers continue for you.
Grant, your letter is an awesome tribute to your daughter,your family and your faith in our heavenly father. Thank you for sharing with us.
Angela
Angela Brooks
- Thursday, February 20, 2003 10:18 AM CST

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When God calls little children to dwell with him above,
We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make this world seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires always calling the aged to his fold,
And so he picks a rosebud before it can grow old.
God Knows how much we need them and so He takes but few,
To make the land of heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult, still somehow we must try.
The saddest word that mankind knows will always be goodbye.
And so, when little one's depart, we who are left behind
Must realize how much God loves little children....for Angels are hard to find.

Deepest Sympathies. Joran Tojo's Grandparent's
George and Shirley Doemel <GDoemel@msn.com>
Jackson, MO Cape Girardeau - Thursday, February 20, 2003 10:13 AM CST

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Dear Alison,Grant and children,
The letter from Grant is precious and my heart is breaking for all of you. You will see your angel again. I know words can't take away your pain-but know that so many are praying for your family. So many of us have never met you, but we are brother's and sister's in Christ. Your witness of your faith through the most horrible time of your life is unbelievable.
Nancy
- Thursday, February 20, 2003 9:18 AM CST

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Dear Grant, Alison and children,
Continuing to lift all of you up in prayer. May the Lord sustain you and strengthen you especially today. I pray that even though Alexandria is no longer on this earth that you feel her closeness to you as you go about your day today.
Love in Christ,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Thursday, February 20, 2003 8:21 AM CST

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I just had to come back and read Grant's letter again - such a touching tribute. Continuing to pray for your peace and comfort.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
- Thursday, February 20, 2003 8:09 AM CST

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I am so sorry for your loss. That was the most beautiful letter written by Alexandria's daddy. How blessed you are to have had a special little girl. We as parents will hug our kids tighter each day after reading that. God Bless You all.
Heather
Atlanta, GA - Thursday, February 20, 2003 8:09 AM CST

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Grant
After not being able to fall asleep I came down to read your tribute to Alexandria for about the tenth time in the last two days. Each time I read it I am amazed at how much love you expressed in these very words. I pray to God that I can slow down my busy life to see Morgan and Mollie in the same light that you have learned to . We will continue to keep you and your family in our prayers and give Hayden a hug from Morgan and let him know see keeps praying for all of you each nite at bed time.
Thom Shoemaker <thomas.shoemaker@direcway.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 11:44 PM CST

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Without a doubt, the most beautiful tribute from a devoted daddy to his beloved daughter! Thankyou so much Alison and Grant for letting us share what is in your hearts, the depth of your love and faith has been overwhelming. May your wonderful memories of Alexandria comfort you and the rest of your family during these desperately sad days. Our hearts go out to you.
Lynn Gupta <lynngupta@aol.com>
Ellisville, MO 63011 - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 11:01 PM CST

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Grant,
If I measure to be half the father that you have become, I will be complete. You don't know how much of an inspiration you, Alison and Alexandria have been in Beth's and my life. I will continue to pray for peace and comfort for your family.
Love,
Jack Pyle
- Wednesday, February 19, 2003 10:10 PM CST

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Dear Grant,
I read your entry with tears for your sadness and pride for your wisdom. Your letter to our Heavenly Father was beautiful and powerful. Thankyou for sharing it with us. You are such a wonderful father. I have always been awed by the gentle way you parent your children. You are one of the most sacrificing Dads I have ever met. Please find comfort in knowing that Alexandria knew of your tremendous and devoted love to her. We are all continuously amazed by your awesome family. Peace, Tammy
Tammy Whalen <dtkmdwhalen@cs.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:59 PM CST

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My thoughts and prayers are with your family. How great it must have been to have had this precious angel in your lives.
Marla Wolfmeier <marnerwolfe@aol.com>
Cedar Hill, Mo US - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:15 PM CST

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What a beautiful new angel now resides in Heaven! I'm praying for your family. Alexandria has WON her battle!!
Valerie <sylvevl@auburn.edu>
Auburn, AL - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 6:04 PM CST

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what a touching letter my heart goes out to you all -

Angel Toto <totoofoz@cox.net>
Lyons, KS USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 5:01 PM CST

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Dear Haddock Family,
After reading Grant's entry for the umpteenth time, I feel guilty as he is comforting me and not the other way around. His letter so profoundly described Alexandria's personallity and the wonderful humor that your family has. Abby said yesterday that she could not imagine Mr Haddock sad as she had never seen him do anything but smile. (Except when he was thinking really hard). Abby has also found some comfort knowing that Alexandria can finally go swimming. She has been wishing for that for a long time. Abby will miss Sissy forever but she now has an angel that she can ask favors of. You are such a wonderful family and I know eventually the laughter will become more frequent than the tears.

Ann Newsham
- Wednesday, February 19, 2003 4:41 PM CST

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Dear Grant,
Your letter touches my heart. When my daughter, Molly , was diagnosed with Leukemia, my husband John had a very difficult time. Dads think that their job is to protect their little girls...chase the boogie men away. When that is impossible, it is so difficult for a daddy.
On the other hand, some little girls grow up with distant fathers who don't notice or don't care about the charm that is a little girl's gift. Alexandria was obviously lucky..her dad WAS a knight in shining armor. He DID chase away the bad stuff. He noticed and cared about the little details of every day life with his daughter..(so very obvious by your entry in the journal). Little girls love their dads..she left this earth knowing that she had one that thought she was just wonderful. This is all that little girls ever need. Way to go dad. You may be missing her for the rest of your life, but there are men that have never been "fathers" to their girls. I pray that you are comforted by gods grace. We are thinking of you at this difficult time.
The Healys
waldwick, NJ USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 4:34 PM CST

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Dear Hunter and Hayden,
I am very, very sad that your sister, Alexandria, died. I know that it is very tough to imagine her dying but always remember that she is in a better place than you and I are now. She is in heaven and she will always be in both of your hearts. I also want both of you to know that me and Abby will always be there to help both of you and Addison.
Sincerely,
Alex Newsham
Ellisville, MO USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 4:33 PM CST

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Grant and Allison...I only wish a heartfelt hug could be felt by you through the miles. I keep thinking how lucky little Alexandria was to have the two of you....yet, how lucky you two are to have each other. I admire Alison more than I can put into words...and then to read your letter Grant. I always laugh when I think of you Grant..and how at the bus stop one morning you told the funniest story about how you fixed Alexandria bisquits and gravy before school and she coughed and some milk came out of her nose..(which had obviously never happened before), and she said, "Daddy...milk out the nose...what's up with that?!" I love that story!!!

We will continue to pray for your family's comfort and peace.

Anne, Chris, Timmy, Jack and Emily Merten <amerten@msn.com>
Westerville, OH USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 2:37 PM CST

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I must remember to thank Janet Sims for sending me to your website. I have been blessed by the visit! What a beautiful letter from one father to Another. I pray that you all will continue to find comfort in Him. And although I know you will always miss Alexandria, I pray that the heartache becomes more and more bearable as time replaces it with sweet memories.
Peggy <peghw@bellsouth.net>
Atlanta, GA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 2:14 PM CST

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Dear Grant and Allison,

Although we have never met, I have been following Alexandria's story for several months. I never thought a beautiful, little girl could capture my heart so passionately and run with it. I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you Alexandria for the many lessons you are still teaching me. What a beautiful tribute Grant wrote to Alexandria. Please know you will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.


With love, thoughts and prayers, Melody
West Chester, Pa. U.S.A. - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 1:51 PM CST

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What an awesome, awesome tribute of love from a father to his child -- and a beautiful reflection, I think, of the love of our Heavenly Father. Dear family, you have been and will continue to be in my prayers. May God bring you the strength and comfort you need as only He can. Numbers 6:24-26.
Kim Rutherford
Knoxville, TN USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 1:42 PM CST

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I have been praying for your strength and comfort. I cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. Grant and Alison, you are truly amazing people. Thank you for sharing your feelings, thoughts, journey, and daughter with us all. Alexandra's journey instantly becomes a joyous one full of bikes, swimming, shrimp, lots of tall glasses of milk, and health. Yours will probably be a bit tougher but I know God will provide you with what you need to get through it.
Melissa (Begley) Mace
- Wednesday, February 19, 2003 1:32 PM CST

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I know this song says Sweet Dreams Little Man, but if you have ever heard it the song is beautiful...

Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)
Sung by: The Dixie Chicks
written by: Radney Foster

Dragon tales and the Water is Wide
Pirates sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed little man
Sweet Dreams little man
Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon we'll find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed little man
Sweet Dreams little man
Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)

God bless Mommy and matchbox cars
God bless Dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "amen" wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed little man
Sweet Dreams little man
Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed Godspeed
Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)



a friend
- Wednesday, February 19, 2003 1:26 PM CST

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Grant, Alison, Hunter, Hayden and Addison,

We are so saddened to hear of the loss of your precious little girl and remarkable big sister. Alexandria's time here on earth was limited, yet she has touched more lives and provided more joy and inspiration than many could in 100 lifetimes. The strength and courage all of you have shown throughout this extremely difficult time is truly amazing. Alexandria was so blessed to have such an incredible family that showered her with love. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. May you find peace and comfort knowing that your little angel on earth is no longer suffering and is safe and protected by God in heaven.
Todd, Chrissy, Ally and Katie Wagner
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 1:11 PM CST

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Dear Haddocks,
Remembering you in prayer today as always.
In Christian friendship and love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 12:42 AM CST

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Dear Haddock Family,

I am deeply sorry for loss. I have been reading Alexandria's updates for some time now and had been hoping & praying for her return to health. God has answered our prayers. Now she is healthy and her life has just begun. Your life is at a new beginning too. With Love.
Elizabeth
Washington, DC USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 12:09 AM CST

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This is a poem I wrote for my daughter, Delaney. I know she and Alexandria are in heaven together. They are truly loved.

Pink Makes Me Fly

Pink is my favorite color
This color fills my wings
Just a touch within the sky
Makes me want to twirl and sing.

When you are thinking of me
Lighting the way with my smile
Remember I am never far away
Sending you my love from the sky.

Pink, the color that makes me fly.
Amy, Mom of Angel Delaney and Kevin, age 10 <Wright_Amy@hotmail.com>
San Diego, CA USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 11:08 AM CST

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HELLO MY NAME IS EASTER KELLUM FROM NEW MADRID MISSOURI AND I'M IN MS JOELLA JONES CLASS AND SHE TOLD US ABOUT WHAT HAPPEN I'M SO SORRY AND YOUR FAMILY WILL BE IN MY PREYERS LOVE YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU
EASTER KELLUM <KEMA_2003@YAHOO.COM>
LILBOURN, MO - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 10:40 AM CST

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Dearest Haddock Family,
Such a wonderful letter from Daddy to God. I just know he's seeing to it that she's riding a bicycle and enjoying all the wonderful treats she didn't have the chance to have here. It's no wonder that our Heavenly Father entrusted such a special little girl into your Family for her time here on Earth - he picked a Special family for a Special child who could not be more loved or cherished. Leaving you all my Love and Prayers at such a difficult time.



Jean - Quilts of Love <jean@quiltsoflove.com>
Tucson, AZ - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 10:06 AM CST

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Dear Alsion & Grant,

I pray that God will give you all the strength, peace and comfort during this trial in your life. May he also give comfort and peace to Hunter, Hayden & Addison.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so thankful to have met Alexandria and your family. I will always hold memories of her in my heart.

God has truly used Alexandria and your family to touch many, many lives. She is in the best care now. God Bless you for having such strong faith in our Lord and Savior! Praise the Lord for showing his grace upon your family.

Grant, your entry is beautiful. Of course tears streamed down my face as I read it. How blessed Alexandria and the other children are with having a wonderful father and mother who love them sooooooo much.

Alison, you have been such an inspiration. God Bless you for all you do.

Knowing Alexandria is in the heavenly father's hands is such a comfort. She will be looking down and guiding each of you everyday!

My deepest sympathy and love to your whole family.

God Bless you all!

Erin Turner
Ellsinore, - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 10:06 AM CST

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What a beautiful tribute to a truly beautiful daughter. Alexandria obviously was given the gift not only of a very special Mommy, but a very special Daddy as well. My hearts go out to all of you at this time. May God overwhelm you with His peace and comfort and with the knowledge that the most special Daddy of all is holding your dear one in His own loving arms.
Donna Waldron <dmhw28@yahoo.com>
Middletown, PA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:53 AM CST

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The Haddock Family~
Please know that you are in my daily thoughts and prayers. You were so blessed, as a family, to have the time you did with such a wonderful child as Alexandria. She touched so many hearts and still does. My family and I feel so fortunate to have you as part of our church family at Dardenne. Thank you so much for sharing yourselves through your website. It has made so many of us realize just how precious each and everyday is with our loved ones and to not take that for granted.

Dawn Dains <daisydains@msn.com>
O'Fallon, MO 63366 - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:48 AM CST

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I greatly feel for you and your family and friends in the short life of your angel. I am a friend of Amy Schroeder, and I just wanted to let you know, that even people who do not know you or your daughter are praying for you and her.
God bless you!
Jane Dulle
chesterfield, mo - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:47 AM CST

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Without a doubt, there HAS to be sea food in Heaven...MY Andy is there! Knowing him, he and Alexandria are eating JUMBO shrimp and KING crab legs! He had learned to ride his bike and roller blade not long ago, I'm sure he's teaching her now! He became an angel just a month before Alexandria, but I'm sure he learned 'the ropes' quickly. (He had many friends there prior to his arrival) I am comforted in knowing he has a new playmate to add to the gang. I hope Alexandria likes Silly String, I KNOW there's some of that flying too! Please know that I understand your sorrows and I am praying for you.
Jan Livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) <jagl@htc.net>
Friend to the Rhines family, - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:47 AM CST

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Dear Haddock family,
We are so, so sorry!!! We admire the strength and faith you have demonstrated thoughout this difficult journey. I know His strength will continue to carry you on through the rest of your journey. Alexandria and her siblings are richly blessed to have YOU BOTH as parents. No one could do a better job!!! Once again, thank you for sharing you sweet princess with us. Grant, we were deeply touched by your letter to our heavenly father- a story of the special love and understanding only Alexandria and her Daddy shared. We will miss your precious daughter!

The Swerczek family
- Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:41 AM CST

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Dear Grant and Alison and Family
I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words that could be said to ease your pain. After reading Grant's beautiful letter, I feel we (the lurkers) are getting support from you. Hopefully you can feel all the support, love and prayers from us. God Bless.
Cheryl Lohmann
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:40 AM CST

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Dear Alexandria's Daddy...Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your beautiful journal entry today. I believe for the first time since I learned of Alex's "Pink tipped angel wings"...I have laughed until I cried! You are both awesome parents!
Love, Kim

"~"A life so young released to Heaven...left on Earth we wonder why?...But some are sent among us briefly, some have spirits meant to fly."~"



Kim Kruppenbacher <Kody's Story>
Leesburg, FL - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:31 AM CST

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My heart goes out to you and your family. I am a friend of Janet Sims (Janie's mom from caring bridge) Janet posted the news of your loss on their web site and asked for our prayers. You will be lifted up in prayer and God will see you through this difficult time. One day you will all be with Him in heaven. God bless!
Shelly Williams <shellyrhea@msn.com>
B'ham, Al Shelby - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:15 AM CST

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Grant, there is only one 'person' who could come close to caring for, and loving, Alexandria as completely and carefully as you and Alison did - and she's with Him now. I can only imagine the pain you feel, and I'm so sorry for you both. As you look forward at the plans that didn't get to happen, also look back at all you gave her - she had an amazing 9 1/2 years with you.
The Tojo's
- Wednesday, February 19, 2003 8:47 AM CST

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I don't have the words to express how deeply your entry touched me. I got such a sense of your sweet angel, and I have such faith that God will meet and exceed every single desire of Alexandria's heart. I pray that He will also meet and exceed every need of those left behind, that He will wipe your tears and carry you through the days ahead.

God bless you!
Christi Hamilton <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 8:35 AM CST

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I echo Kelly's words below...beautiful, just simply beautiful.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 8:14 AM CST

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What an incredibly beautiful tribute to your precious daughter and to the love you share. I am truly at a loss for words except to say thank you for sharing your feelings with us. God bless you all.
Kelly <kelly@friendsofkids.com>
- Wednesday, February 19, 2003 8:12 AM CST

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"For Those I Love, For Those Who Love Me"

When I am gone, release me, let me go.
I have so many things to see and do.

You musn't tie yourself to me with tears,
Be happy that we had so many years.

I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you have shown
but now it's time I traveled on alone.

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must,
then let your grief be comforted with trust.

It's only for a while we must be apart
So bless the memories that be within your heart.

I won't be far away, for life goes on,
So if you need me, call and I will come.

Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near,
And if you listen to your heart, you'll hear
All of my love around you, soft and clear.

And then when you must come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and welcome you home.


A friend
- Wednesday, February 19, 2003 7:14 AM CST

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Dear Grant, A beautiful letter for a beautiful child. We will never forget the lesson of love we have received from Alexandria. You and Alison have also taught us a lesson about God's presense in our own lives.Thank you for sharing your inner thoughts with us. We continue to pray for you and your family.

The Sheats Family
Springboro, OH - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 7:08 AM CST

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Our prayers are with your little angel and your whole family. May God bless you all and get you through this difficult time.
Pam
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 6:55 AM CST

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Grant and Alison, It is with profound sadness that I learned of your daughter, Alexandria Nicole's passing. With sadness in my heart, tears, alot of tears in my eyes and prayers I read your most recent journal entry. Please accept my condolances and the wishes of hope.
Bruce Kaplan, LMA
Bruce Kaplan
Cary, NC USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 6:50 AM CST

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Reading your beautiful Tribute to Heaven's Angel...Alexandria...with tears in my eyes...but also with smiles ,knowing that now she will get to do ALL the things she had ever dreamed of. She has touched so many lives...a true inspiration. Praying for Your Family..
Anne Marie <jas123@charter.net>
Helena, Alabama - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 5:41 AM CST

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We are so sorry for your tremendous pain.
Alexandria was such a brave & courageous little girl.
Another beautiful, precious angel who has left an impression on our hearts.
Take care
Love & cuddles from afar,
Liz, Murray, Adam (ALL patient), Joshua & Bethany
XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. AUSTRALIA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 3:46 AM CST

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Mr. Haddock,
Without a doubt, that is the most eloquently written letter I've ever read. Not only was it a letter to God, but an ODE to your most precious Alexandria. To share her likes, dislikes, what she wanted to be, what she called her Daddy...was the sweetest gift. I know you hold each word she spoke, every habit she had, the sound of her laughter, so near and dear to your heart. Thank you for sharing more of Alexandria with me. Please know how much I think about each of you daily. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Alexandria will forever be in my heart.
Respectfully,
Debbie Little <www.caringbridge.org/tn/littlecaleb>
Dickson, TN U.S.A. - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 0:29 AM CST

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Hello Dear Family....
I sit here laughing, crying, smiling, sniffling all at the same time. What a beautiful letter to God. I am sitting here in total awe. God Bless you dear ones. Your Quilt's Of Love family are here for you. Please know we share in your sorrow and our prayers go out to you.
Sincerely,
Island Princess


Island Princess <islandprincess@quiltsoflove.com>
- Wednesday, February 19, 2003 0:05 AM CST

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Hello Alison, Grant & Family,
What a beautiful tribute to you're beautiful Angel Alexandria Grant. Remember that sunshine fades and shadows fall but sweet rememberances outlasts all;God has Anlexandria in His keeping and you have her in your hearts.
Extending my heartfelt sympathy & kind caring thoughts. With hugs and love to all of you during your time of mourning ~ Angel Red


Angel Red Myst
Phoenix, Az - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 0:00 AM CST

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