Journal History

Click here to go back to the main page.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007 11:39 PM CST

7 years ago! Did we/ he think it was forever I'm not sure. 7 years seems like a short time and yet it's a life time ago.7 what does that number mean? 7 days in a week. We sat shiva for 7 days. NO calls came asking us how we stood this awful day. What does that conclude? I'm not even going to second guess that answer.
If anyone ever reads this blog. NO! 7 doesn't mean we hurt less or that we are fully recovered. I asked Mark today "Did we really have a son named Jason? Did he really live? Or did we just make him up for 18 years? Will anyone remember him other then his parents and brother? What did he leave this world with? 7 years ago Jason promised he wouldn't leave us.
For those that remember he hasn't left. I guess that is why today is so painful. Wouldn't have it any other way.
Rest in Peace J,J Love MOM

Wednesday, July 4, 2007 10:18 PM CDT

July 4, 2007
It has been awhile since I’ve written to long. It has also been awhile since I’ve had a visit / dream. The actual date of this event is July 3, 2007. Tuesday morning rather early yet Josh and Mark had already left for work. I was having a difficult time returning to sleep but not ready to awaken. When I felt like something was flying around in the bedroom. At first I thought it was some type of large flying bug maybe a butterfly not sure and hoping whatever it was it was harmless. The noise from the bug stopped and then I felt someone climb into bed. The bed became crowed like someone was right next to me. How I knew it was Jason I’m not sure just Mommy knows these things. When Jason visits or when I dream he usually does not speak. But this time in a rather clear voice I heard Jason as he said “I’ll see you in the morning mommy” I do not recall it I answered back or not. Part of thinks that my reply was or would have been. “Ok, sweetie good night” But like I said I can’t remember? I do know that I felt Jason lying next to me for a long while. The urge to open my eyes were strong but I knew that would be a mistake. Soon I must have fallen into a deeper sleep. Waking later Jason was of course gone. What do “I’ll see you in the morning mean”? Why this time did Jason actually talk to me?

Tuesday, December 26, 2006 5:46 PM CST

Sunday Dec 24th

We had a real strange event at the cemetery on Sunday. After brunch with the family we went to visit Jason. So crazy because he's not there. It was Just Mark, Josh and me. None of us were paying any attention to anything but Jason's grave. Then out of what seemed liked no where came this gray calico colored cat. She must of come from the homes on the other side of the fence. But we didn't see her come over. She came right over to us as we sat on the ground. Then she went over to Mark and literally climbed into his lap and cured up then began purring. We couldn't believe it. She then went over to Josh and did the same thing. She went back and forth between Mark and Josh never to me. I'm not a big cat person. She was still with us when we were ready to leave and she walked about 1/2 way back to the car with us. Then she stopped in the middle of the Cemetery and just watched us as we left. We've seen birds and butterflies there all the time and they will come over to the grave when we are there. But never a cat. It was like a sign or that somehow the cat knew we needed that extra comforting and she was there to give it.
Monday Dec 25

It is now Monday Dec 25th 6:33 pm pst. It was monday night that night 6 years ago tonight. I can remember it like it was yesterday. We had gotten Jason the Monopoly game he had asked for, for Hanukkah. Mark, Josh and Jason played while I just watched on. He was still full of life and he wasn't going to give up. So what happened? Fast forward past all the gross unimagineable horror. it is now Tuesday morning 2:22am. Jason is ....
Now 6 years later it seems still a dream a nightmire yet why haven't we woken up yet. It is now Monday night 6:39 pm. what I want is to wake up tomorrow and find this all a bad dream.
Mom who misses her baby more then words will ever be able to discribe.

Tuesday Dec 26th
Nothing has changed another year gone bye.

Monday, December 25, 2006 8:33 PM CST

It is now Monday Dec 25th 6:33 pm pst. It was monday night that night 6 years ago tonight. I can remember it like it was yesterday. We had gotten Jason the Monopoly game he had asked for, for Hanukkah. Mark, Josh and Jason played while I just watched on. He was still full of life and he wasn't going to give up. So what happened? Fast forward past all the gross unimagineable horror. it is now Tuesday morning 2:22am. Jason is ....
Now 6 years later it seems still a dream a nightmire yet why haven't we woken up yet. It is now Monday night 6:39 pm. what I want is to wake up tomorrow and find this all a bad dream.
Mom who misses her baby more then words will ever be able to discribe.

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 1:54 AM CDT

Tuesday Aug 1st. Jason would have been turning 24. No we can't imagine him at this age. To us he is still that free spirited 18 going on 12 year old. So full of life, so full of spunk. Please take a moment or two today to remember those happier fun times with Jason. This is what I'm sure he would want us all to be doing on his 24th Birthday.
Happy 24 Jason where ever you maybe.
Love Always and Forever
Josh, Dad & Mom

Jason did make a visit this afternoon pulling one of is oh so wonderful pranks. I was getting music ready for the recital that Josh and I will be doing in. Making some heading for each piece. The main title page, a page for Josh, a page for the trio and a page for my song. I then went and printed it all out and of course didn't save it. Afterwards I turned off my computer thinking I had everything since the print preview showed it all nicely done. When I went to put everything together this is what I actually had. The main title no problems, Josh's Page again no problem, the trio page was also ok. My page only my name nothing more. I laughed and thought Jason you little prankster.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006 0:17 AM CDT

Monday night I couldn't sleep. I went into the closet looking for something I was hoping I had saved. I didn't find what I was looking for but found something else. A letter from a dear friend when he was in college. Not sure if I was still in High School or also in College. This friend and another close friend got engaged around the same time Mark and I did. Their wedding was to be in Sept ours in Dec. But my friend was dx with a form of cancer at the age of 22. His Best Man became his Head Pal Bearer. The other guys, well you get the picture. I still remember how hard this hit everyone in the community. How hard it hit me. Who would have guest just how close life repeated itself.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006 0:17 AM CDT

Last night I couldn't sleep. I went into the closet looking for something I was hoping I had saved. I didn't find what I was looking for but found something else. A letter from a dear friend when he was in college. Not sure if I was still in High School or also in College. This friend and another close friend got engaged around the same time Mark and I did. Their wedding was to be in Sept ours in Dec. But my friend was dx with a form of cancer at the age of 22. His Best Man became his Head Pal Bearer. The other guys, well you get the picture. I still remember how hard this hit everyone in the community. How hard it hit me. Who would have guest just how close life repeated itself.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 1:35 AM CST

It was sometime after 7 am Tuesday morning. I had been awake on and off for some time. Not out of bed nor even ready to face the day. But not able to sleep very well. ( I have a cold or whatever is going around) I was lying on my side with my back to the end of the bed. Mark and Josh are long gone to work so I'm home alone. Yet I feel the presences of someone or something right next to me. It's as if I can't move. The presences is so close there is no space between us. I know it's Jason so I try to turn. I finally manage only he's gone. I want more time, I wanted to see, talk, hold him, but I guess I should cherish the brief moment, and thank him for his lovely hug.

Thursday, December 22, 2005 4:21 PM CST

With both the English date and Yahrzeit within the next 2 weeks, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Again I had one of those Jason dreams. This one only last a short time or at least that is all of it that I remember. Mark and I somehow got a day to ourselves. We decided to do something totally crazy and go to a theme park. We headed out just the 2 of us for a fun filled day alone. I remember us getting to the theme park. The lines for the rides were very long but we didn’t care. We just got into one of the lines. Then in my dream something clicked. Instead of being in the line waiting to get on the ride, we were back in the car. What was weird was we were not going home but still going to the theme park. Then out of no where I had a panic attack. Where was Jason? I asked Mark, Where was Jason? Mark didn’t answer me. He also didn’t know. OH Bleep did we forget Jason? Leave him alone at home? We need to turn around and go home. Just then I either woke up or reality struck. More then likely both. Jason is dead!!! flashed across my dream like a lighting bolt going right through me. The dream ended.

Dec 25th 9:20 PM
At 2:22 Am PST just about 5 hours from now will mark 5 years. Feeling are impossible to discribe. The pain is still hard to bare. So real and yet so unreal. It was just about this time that night so long ago that Jason spoke his last real words to me. "Mommy I love you". The rest of the night is a nightmare no parent should ever have to live through.
Tomorrow Morning I'll surely wake up to begin another painful year.
Put one foot infront of the other and keep going I was told. Don't forget to breath. Sometimes it's the breathing that is the hardest.

Monday, August 29, 2005 12:25 AM CDT

Aug 29, 2005
It was around 5:30 am when I woke up startled from a nightmare type dream I had just had about Jason.

In my dream / nightmare
I am watching TV when a commercial comes on about fighting leukemia a new method of fighting this. They talk about drawing on the kids to find where the leukemia cancer is. The show drawing on different things talking about drawing but I do not grasp what is being said. Then they show a room with a bunch of kids and adults drawing on the kids backs. All the kids have cancer I think leukemia not sure. The kids only have underwear on. I feel like they are being exposed and I don’t like it. There is Jason among the kids clearly I can see him. I’m horrified I want to call out scream but I can’t. I don’t understand all of this why is Jason on TV why in this commercial? I never approved this I wouldn’t have approved this. Who did this to him? When did they do it? I see him someone is drawing on his back he has lines circles all over his back. Then I see him start to go forward like forward in what looks like a class room. I do not know where he’s going or why. Finally I’m able to scream out to him. I reach out towards the TV and my hand and arm go right into the TV. Jason seems to also reach out towards me from the other side. I grab his arm or maybe it was his hand, I’m not sure. I pull and he comes right through the TV into the bedroom. I’m holding him so tightly I do not want to let go. Can I keep him with me? But he is now 5 years to young for this time. Is he still sick? What am I supposed to do? Should I warn him? Do I tell him he is going to die? I tell him but then why did I do that? I so want to keep him hold him. I do not want this to end. Then with a jerk I suddenly awaken. This happens right after I tell him. It was all a dream. I’m awake shaken startled wondering what just happened and why?

Aug 30th
I shared some of the dream with Josh this evening. He laughed and smiled when I mentioned the part about Jason being in his underwear. Then he remained me of how often Jason ran around the house dressed in just that, his underwear or at times even less. Yes our beloved angel was also our beloved streakier. And If you think it mattered that we had guest in the house, nope not at all.
Jason was and always will be free spirited.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005 12:12 AM CDT

Hi Everyone
Just thought you would all get a kick out of this.
Josh and I are now taking a beginning voice class at our local Community College. Last night while the class was singing around the piano all of a sudden half of the lights went out. No one touched the switch. Teacher went over to check and try and get the lights back on. Nothing. Josh and I just started smiling and laughing. We both knew who and what was happening. Jokingly I do I said to Josh " should we tell them? The teacher heard me and of course ask. So I just said don't worry it's Jason. After mommy very quietly pleading / asking J,J to please turn the lights back on the lights came back on. It did take Jason quite a few minutes though. Strange thing was I had just a short time before all this happened (During break time) had told the teacher about Jason.

Monday, June 20, 2005 0:50 AM CDT

June 19, 2005
I haven’t had a visit from Jason in a rather long time so this came as a surprise last night. Mark and I had just returned home from dropping Josh and a friend at my parents. There was a message on the answering machine that Josh’s friend had left things back at our house. I went upstairs to look for the forgotten items. It was night time so I of course turn on the lights upstairs. I was checking the bedrooms where the boys had slept and played. My mind was not on Jason at the time, rather on finding the stuff I was looking for. As I must have passed one of Jason’s pictures the hallway became dark. I was the only one upstairs. Then I could see and feel Jason’s presents. His skin was so close to me like he had rubbed against me. I could sense his smell, his warmth like he was truly standing next to me. This must have lasted a matter of seconds before the darkness disappeared and I could once again see that I was standing in our hallway. Jason was gone only his pictures and other family pictures remained. The visit was over and much too short, yet no amount of time for such a visit would ever be long enough.

Tuesday, March 1, 2005 8:37 PM CST

Yesterday’s journal was a letter to Jason. I was so in need of a sign that Jason is close by. Today I got two small signs. As Josh and I were leaving for piano class the clock in the car read 2:22, the time of Jason’s passing. Then as we drove down the drive way, there was a beautiful orange and black either a Monarch or a Painted Lady butterfly in the bushes. These small signs from Jason can make a world of difference. Thanks Jason.

I have also made some changes to the pictures in the photo gallery.

Tuesday, March 1, 2005 3:30 AM CST

It is now 5 years since you were diagnosed with cancer. Even now 5 years later that word sticks in my throat. The pain today is deeper, stronger, ever tighter around my heart, then it was back then. The reality of what has happened has become far more real. There is no way to turn back the clock. I can’t change history. There are no do over’s, try again or second chances. The game is final and the out come has become my reality. When asked how am I doing? I give the answer I’m ok. But what does that mean? I’m ok? Does it mean I’ve over it past the nightmare? Is the pain gone? NO of course not. It just means that I’ve become a great actor pretender to the outside world. Not a day or night goes by that I don’t miss you something awful. A nightmare would mean I’m sleeping and should wake up. Reality is real and I’m already awake. Some days it feels like a nightmare. Some days if feels real. Some days it doesn’t feel at all. 5 years since we began the journey… Can we please get off this train now? Can we please go back to the journey we were on before? It might not have been the train (journey) a normal parent would have wanted to be on, but it sure beats this train (journey).

Wednesday, November 10, 2004 4:49 PM CST

We are getting messages from the beyond.
Yesterday in the regular mail their was a package from Discovery Kids Magazine addressed to Jason. Today around 1 pm one of the lens in my glasses just fell out. I didn't drop them or anything. The lens just popped right out. Now just a few minutes ago I got a call from Mark. He's on his way home but he tells me he needs to stop at Lens Crafters. At about 1 pm today his reading glasses also broke. The screw holding the ear piece came loose and one of the ear pieces fell off. He was able to catch the screw and the ear piece. He also grabbed the lens so everything is together. All of this happened just about the same time that my lens fell out. Also just a few weeks ago the electricity was going on and off in the house. Happened twice within two days and was just only secs in time.

Monday, August 2, 2004 0:08 AM CDT

August 1 1982 ~ August 1 2004

Today would have been Jason’s 22 birthday. Impossible to believe that, Jason has now celebrated 4 birthdays without us. Or is it 4 birthdays without him? I’m just not sure? Has it been that long? Moments seem like years. Years seem like moments. It is to tiring on the human brain to sort all of this out. It is way to taxing on the soul for anyone to comprehend
We spent Jason’s birthday as a family. On Saturday we drove into old LA spending the day walking around Olvera Street, Grand Central Station and Little Tokyo. We hope Jason had a fun time as I’m sure he with us. On Sunday we first met Gamma & Gampa for brunch. We then all went to the cemetery to visit Jason. (Why oh Why do I just want to scream right now??) We first visited Jason’s Great Grandparents who are also buried at the same cemetery. Then we visited with Jason. Rabbi Asa was at the cemetery also. Rabbi Asa didn’t know Jason very well but had met him a few times. Rabbi came with us to Jason’s grave site as we visited. He recited the El Rach A Mem over Jason and then helped us all with the Mourners Kaddish. These are 2 prayers said over the dead blessing them for eternal rest eternal peace. We then left to go our separate ways. As we were walking back to the car there was a black and yellow butterfly. It was flying freely, around the cemetery. Strange, that I’ve seen this type of butterfly at the cemetery many times before. This time the butterfly flew right straight at me. Of course I screamed out “Jason, don’t you dare attack your mother” The butterfly just kept flying freely around the cemetery without a care in the world. We spend the remainder of the day at San Juan Capistrano. More butterflies flying freely among the gardens both inside and outside of the mission. Before we left the mission there were two Monarch butterflies playing what looked like chase in the gardens flying from one group of bushes and flowers to the next. One of those butterflies must have been Jason. The other one must have been little Sara who is also celebrating her birthday in heaven today. Happy Birthday to, Sara & Jason, may you both have eternal shalom.
Did Jason visit? You better believe he did. Came home to one of those phone messages where no one is on the other end. Our washer stopped for no reason only to start back up again about an hour later. A few days ago I came home to find the coffee maker turned on, yet no one had touched it. At brunch Gamma & Gampa said all kinds of things went wrong before they left the house. Anyone want to guess who might have been involved?

Monday, May 17, 2004 7:24 PM CDT

My online friend Sherri Mandell (Author of "The Blessing of a Broken Heart") sent me this quote.

from Sacred Fire, Rabbi Kalonymos Kalmish Shapira

"We know from sacred literature that before Adam sinned, humans were designed to live forever. If Adam had not sinned, the concept of survival would have meant something other than it does now, as each individual human would have had permanent existence. Since Adams' sin, however, it is only the human species that has permanence. Humans as a group have continuity as is well know, but only thought the birth of children, grandchildren, and so forth
It is therefore conceivable that in the region of the unconscious mind where the human survival instinct is located, the instinctive desire for the survival of one's children may be more powerful even than the instinct to protect one's own self. This is because a person's existence is only temporary, occupying the space of a lifetime, while the survival of his descendants through children means survival in perpetuity."

Sherri summarized the quote below.

" Today on Shabbat I was reading the Warsaw rabbi's writings--sacred fire his diary of life in the Warsaw ghetto, his wife and son died anyway he says something very interesting. most people would rather die themselves than have their children die. but why. of course we love them and miss them, but it's more than that. psychologically our instinct is toward survival. and our children are our survival. everybody dies but our children are our continuity and that is our strongest instinct. so when they die, we lost our standing in this world; our continued future on earth is destroyed. I paraphrase inelegantly and can't find the passage now, but I think that he's right. that our pain is so much greater not only because we give birth to them, but because we can't live into the future, and they can and should.
so when we are hacked off like that, it's like a tree whose branches are taken. how long can a tree live only as a trunk?"

The first part of the quote about original sin is not my way of thinking. The second part of the quote, really explains a lot of what I feel every day. With Jason already dead and Josh being challenged. Do Mark and I have a real future in this world?

Monday, May 10, 2004 3:13 AM CDT

Mother's Day Hello

Just a short message to let everyone know. Jason did make his appearance for Mothers Day. My brother's family, my parents, Mark, Josh and I were waiting to be served lunch at the Deli. We had a long table right along the back wall. There was a large window with some nice trees right outside. A large bright yellow and black butterfly flew into the area outside the window a short time after everyone had arrived. Landed on one of the leaves just about eye level. Stayed put for a while. Then flew around the area but came back to the same place on the leaf. Stuck around until our food came then flew off. Grandma said "Jason didn't want to watch us while we were eating."

Tuesday, March 9, 2004 3:38 AM CST

On Saturday March 6th during one of Josh's Basketball tournaments. This tournament was put on by one of the community Special Ed programs that both boys were involved with at one time. Jason A"H made an appearance.

Here is what happened: Their is a Mom on the Eagles team that I met when the boys went to camp. Her son went to the same camp one summer with the boys. Well while we were outside the Gym waiting for games to begin, she came over to me and asked If "Jason" would be OK to go out for dinner on his own sometime? I told her that I no longer controlled Jason but if she should happen to get him to go out to dinner with Eric, to please hold onto him and bring him home. I then smiled and we both laughed. I then told her that Jason just used her to send me a sign that he was around. I told a friend who is also a bereaved parent. This is the type of sign we often miss because we are not open enough to receive them. She agreed. I was glad that at that moment I was not only open to receive the message, I was also able to enjoy it.
 
 

Friday, December 26, 2003 5:24 PM CST

Dec 26, 2003
I hate this date. I had another dream about Jason A”H” he had come home. He was back in Hebrew School for some reason I don’t know preparing for his Bar Mitzvah I think although nothing was said about the Bar Mitzvah in my dream. He was in class and the students were reciting the prayers. Jason’s voice rang out above the rest, so sweet and lovely. I kept hearing his voice but I wasn’t in the room with him so I couldn’t see him. He sounded so sure and proud of himself as he recited the prayer and blessings about the rest. Then I was talking to him but I still couldn’t see him,I don’t know why. I told him he had to behave himself or he would be taken away again. I begged and pleaded with him about this. He didn’t reply and here is where my dream ended. When I woke up I went out into the hall way and looked down into what would have been Jason’s bedroom. I knew it was all a dream but for that split second I was just hoping…
Jason A" H" died today Dec 26, 2000 at 2:22 am. A part of me died also. I hate today the pain is more then I can explain by the written word.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003 1:22 AM CST

Dear Jason Ryan
December 23, 2003
Minyan is over but the long night is just beginning. My wish for the Moshiach to arrive with Jason didn’t happen. Soon it will truly be 3 years. Why does it feel like yesterday? Why does it feel like a thousand years? Why does it still feel like a nightmare? Why can’t I wake up already? Time heals they say, so why is the pain still so awful. I cry so hard at night I can hardly breathe. I relive those last few hours and I want to fix them. I want to make them go away, but they will not leave. Why can’t history change? The other night I couldn’t sleep. Sleep never comes easy for me since that awful night. I was crying in the darkness when from the window of the bedroom came a flash of light. It happened so quickly a flash of light then the light spread out from the ceiling fan light but no light on the fan turned on. There was a flash of light like hands reaching out in all directions coming from the middle of the ceiling over the bed.Yet the light came in from the window. Was that you coming in to comfort me? I hope so. Tell the Moshiach to hurry up I miss you so terribly much. When this happens and we can again light the menorah as a complete family, only then will I once again believe. You believed in the magic You believed in the miracle, yet you were cheated from life itself for this I'm so sorry my dear son.
Love Always and Forever
Mom

Monday, December 15, 2003 10:32 PM CST

Yesterday we got messages from Jason. We were on our way to visit him when I got a message on my cell phone to call my Mom. She needed us because of a problem with the washing Machine. It was sprinkling lightly before the call but after the call the rain started coming down hard, making going to the cemetery a bit crazy. Message # 1 from Jason Take care of Grandma and Grandpa I'm not going anywhere. So off to Sear we went. A very nice sales lady helped us with all we needed and tomorrow Grandma and Grandpa will have a new washer and dryer. On the way home there was a beautiful rainbow, Jason just saying hi and letting us know he's with us. Then today after Candy's visit to the vet Josh asked for ice cream on a stick or better yet frozen banana's. I'd never seen boxes of frozen banana's in the store before. He also wanted banana and rootbeer popsicles. Now remember the grocery stores out here our on strike. The stores are like near empty of most items. But there in the freezer section together I found boxes of frozen banana's and bags of both banana and rootbeer twin pops. Jason sure has been one very busy Special Angel.
Thanks JJ Love Mom.
Next week it will be 3 years since I got to hold my son talk to my son, fight and love my son. No the pain isn't lighter. No the pain isn't going away. Just learning how to live day to day with it.
Jason Ryan Levine
Aug 1, 1982 ~ Dec 26 2000
12 Av 5742 ~ 29 Kislev 5761

Saturday, October 4, 2003 2:11 AM CDT

Oct 3, 03
Last night was our final choir rehearsal before Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur services. I went to rehearsal very down and very uptight. Tuesday’s rehearsal had not gone well for me and I came out crying. I just missed my baby so much. I know Jason you’re not a baby but to me you’re Mom you will always be my baby. I got to temple early so I went into the gift shop to look around. Finally choir practice started first warm ups then we began going over some of our music. It was at this time that I started feeling like I wasn’t alone. Some one was standing over me. I kept feeling a presents but nothing was there It wasn’t the other choir members; something else was in the room. The air was thick and heavy. I kept turning looking hoping to see but nothing just that feeling that someone was in the room someone only I could feel or know was there. Words were not needed plus if I had spoken everyone would have thought me insane. I knew who it was I could feel his warmth his love even his smile his laughter. I could hear his voice mockingly singing with the choir with that wonderful smirk on his beloved face that I miss so deeply. Jason, Mommy wants to thank you for such a wonderful long visit. Please visit again very soon. I love you always and forever. You are always on my mind and I carry you always in my heart. Right now your brother could use a little help think you can lend us a wing? Thanks. Mom who misses you very very much.

Sunday, September 21, 2003 6:30 PM CDT

August 7, 2003
I am remembering parts of a dream or it could be more then one dream. I’m not remembering much just a few facts.
1 Jason is very small not young I believe he is at least 18 but he is like less then ½ his size before he died.
2 Jason is living in some type of special home group home like place
3 Jason has a large tattoos on his lower back and on his upper arm. I don’t remember which arm.
4 I’m angry about the tattoos . At Jason for having it done. More so at those that were supposed to be his caregivers.
5. something about Jason being over 18 and can make his own choices. Something about not getting conservator ship unclear as to why we didn’t. Something about Jason being dead so we didn’t need to or we thought we didn’t need to.
6 Asking Jason why he went along with the tattoos Asking Jason if it hurt. Him saying yes. I don’t remember if he told us why he did it. I don’t think Jason knew why.
7 Wanting to take Jason somewhere where they could remove the tattoos.
8 picking Jason up and wanting to take him where he would be safe. Not trusting where he was living.
This is all that I can remember Wednesday August 13th 2003

Aug 14th 2003 This dream happened Aug 13th in the early morning.
It seems that I had another dream about Jason. This dream seemed to have lasted a rather long time. Jason was at some type of special home facility. He was still dead but could return to earth and stay at this strange place from time to time. We were allowed to go visit him when he was there. We went to visit Jason; they had some type of outing for all the kids, families were allowed to join the outing with the dead child. The children were no longer sick with things like cancer but they did still have other problems that would make them unique to their families. Like Jason was his usual Jason. Another child was blind before he died and was blind when he came back to earth. I remember that the mom of that child wanted to do something to cure the blindness but couldn’t something about them trying this while the child was alive and that is what caused his death. During the outing Jason wanted ice cream but was told no by the leader because other kids couldn’t have ice cream. I wanted to take Jason after the outing and get him some ice cream. We had to sneak Jason out of the place he was in so we could get his ice cream. We also wanted to take him home. We got him out and to the car where my parents were waiting. We got him into the car everyone was so happy to have him back with us. But all of this was illegal and we didn’t know what would happen. Next thing I remember I was talking to one of the persons that helps with the kids when they come down from Heaven. The person tells me that kids are allowed to go home for visits but must return before their time is up so that they can return to Heaven. So there was no need for all the sneaking around after all. Jason was his usual self during the whole dream. My dream ended here we never did take Jason home or at least it didn’t happen in this dream.
.Aug 29, 03
My Parents were in Atlanta visiting Bruce and Family.
they went to the pool at the JCC before Shabbat to go swimming. While there a big butterfly landed right near my Dad's feet on the gravel. There the butterfly stayed for about 5 to 10 minutes. According to Grandpa, they ( the butterfly {Jason} and Grandpa had a nice talk), before it flew away.
Sept 19, 03
Yesterday we got a message from Jason A"H.
All day long and into the evening our drinking water from our frig would not work. Today it is working fine no explanation. Yesterday was 3 years since Jason's relapse. I'm sure Jason and Grandpa Joe had something to do with our lack of water from the frig. Just a way to let us know they are together playing pranks and that all is well. I'm also sure Grandma Pearl made them turn the water back on this afternoon. Poor Grandma Pearl she must have her hands full with both Grandpa and Jason. Yet I'm sure she is loving every minute of it.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003 0:09 AM CDT

June 18

Jason made a visit to his grandparents house this past week. My dad said the TV was changing channels on it's own and lights were going on and off. There is a picture of Jason in there kitchen. My Dad has his breakfast and morning conversation with Jason every morning. He hadn't had his morning conversation in a while so I guess Jason decided to let Grandpa know he was still around.

June 23
Today My Mom and I took Alex on a trip to San Juan Capistrano to see the mission. We took the train a special treat for everyone. When we got to the mission there were lots and lots of Monarch Butterflies flying all over the beautiful gardens. We kept seeing them as we walked around the mission. Alex had a great time exploring the mission and learning about the missions. My brother’s family will be moving to Atlanta leaving on Thursday, so this was a very special time. Just before we left the mission there were more butterflies one of them landed on a plant. It stayed still long enough for me to take two pictures one of just the butterfly and other one of the butterfly with Alex standing close by. I really hope this picture comes out. The butterfly had it’s wings spread out for both pictures it was so awesome. Surely Jason…

Friday, April 18, 2003 10:19 PM CDT

Dear Jason:
Last night was our Family Seder. I waited for the time of Elisha. When we open the door in hopes that the Messiah will be their. Your cousins opened the door but Elisha was no where to be seen. No Messiah, and no you. Another Seder passed without you. Someday we will open the door and there you will stand with that sparkle in your eyes and that lovely smile we all miss so much. Then you will walk over to me and I will just hold you. My tears will be of joy and not sadness. Someday, someday.

Tuesday, March 25, 2003 1:58 AM CST

As most of you know we are now home from our vacation to AZ. This was the most wonderful vacation with only one bad part, Jason wasn't physically with us. Spirally Jason was with us all the way, which I'll be talking about a lot during journal update. We left CA for AZ on Tuesday night with only a 1 hour flight we arrived in AZ got our rent a car and off we went to our hotel. Our friends and old neighbor along with one of the kids met us at the hotel.
Josh then went home with them where he spent the entire time. Josh worked and had fun with his old friend. Vartkas also works for the same company stores so Josh was able to go to work with him one day. They also have a pool so the kids and even the Dad's went swimming. Wednesday for Mark and I was just relaxing at the hotel sleeping in. Then off to our friends for Dinner and just enjoying each others company. The Dinner was wonderful Sossi is a marvelous cook. She made all our favorite foods. The dinner was dedicated to Jason by Sossi and John. We then talked about Jason remembering the good and bad times. It was Sossi and John that did this we were very surprised but so delighted. It was so wonderful to be able to talk about Jason so openly. When we had first arrived to their home I had found a Canadian penny outside in the front. (John lived in Canada for a short time) This was our first message from Jason that indeed he was with us on this trip. On Wed it was raise and shine early as Sue was coming to pick me up for breakfast. Sue and I had a wonderful time together for the morning and early afternoon sharing stories about our kids and husbands. While Sue and I were enjoying
the day, (Thanks Sue for a wonderful Breakfast and great afternoon) Mark and John spent time together. Sue and I caught Mark working at one of the stores with John. Thursday night we had dinner out with Sossi, and the kids at the restaurant where their oldest daughter Tamar
works. Friday the 4 of us took off to Sadona for the day. (Jason made himself known as he and Missy decided to play a trick on John early Friday morning. I'm waiting for John to mail me this story so I can post it here with all the other memories of Jason. On our way to Sadona we stopped at the Montazoma Well, Jason again made himself known. As the other 3 climbed down to get a close look at the water below. There in the small yellow weeds was this yellow, orange and black butterfly, along with this butterfly were two white butterflies. The trip to Sadona was fantastic
as we talked, joked and laughed. Saturday we were off to Scottsdale to visit with Sue and Barry for lunch. We all had a lovely time together, Barry is a great cook. Their home is very nice with lots of pictures of Sarah, what a beautiful girl Sarah is. I say is because I can't stand to say was. As we were leaving to head back to Phoenix and taking some last minute pictures of the 4 of us Jason made yet another appearance. This time a Mom with a young child came walking up. With her was also a Dalnation ( Jason's word for Dalmation) We asked her to please help us so we could get all 4 of us into the pictures. She was
delighted to help. Jason had a love for Dalnations he just loved the movie. When I saw the dog I just knew this person would help us. (Thanks Barry and Sue for a very nice lunch and a wonderful afternoon.) Saturday night was again spent with Sossi, John and the family. We spent Saturday night at their home over night. Sunday morning breakfast more talking remembering and relaxing before John took us to the airport for our 10 minute flight home. (Thanks John, Sossi and Family for all you did for us during our stay in AZ) We left AZ at 3:20 arrived back in Ontario at 3:30. This morning as I went to brush my teeth a dime fell out of the tooth paste. How a dime got into the tooth paste is beyond me as it was closed. Jason and Missy must have been at it again. Last but not least as Josh and I were leaving to take Josh to school there was a yellow, orange and black butterfly out in the front just to say welcome home.
Ilene

Friday, December 27, 2002 at 01:52 AM (CST)

Dear Jason 12/26/02
All day all week all month all year I've been wanting to hold you. To tell you how much I love you how much I miss you. I try to get along without you with me but it is so hard. You don't come as often to me in my dreams and when you do it's so vague.
I miss so much of what you were to all of us. I can still remember the funny way you would hug me. The warm kisses and how you wanted to be close to everyone. Your love was your power. Life was your passion. No obstacle was to hard or to difficult. When you loved something all of you went into it. I found a playing card last week in the garage and I thought of you. It was the Ace of clubs just like you to leave me the Ace because you were the Ace. No one knew the passion of just playing the game like you did. The love of winning the challenge of just playing. Life was like playing a game for you the challenge of beating the odds even when those odds were so against you. Oh how I miss you and yes cry because it hurts so much that you are not here with us. But only you know whether you beat the odds, only you know who truly won the final hand. Somehow I just know what your answer would be. Rest In Peace.
Love Always And Forever.
Mom

Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 02:01 AM (CST)

I don't have any special visit this time to share. I wish I did. As the Yahrzeit comes closer and closer, their is this feeling deep inside that can't be explained. Has it really been almost 2 years? It can't be wasn't it yesterday that we were fighting over something stupid? Wasn't it just yesterday that Jason gave me one of his crazy hugs? How have I survived 2 long years? I guess time does move forward even when you wish it could move back instead. You know I'm trying to plan a Minyan didn't I do that last year? Isn't this year supposed to be different? Wasn't Jason supposed to be home by now back in my arms, back in my care? There are no answers to my questions just more questions.
If you are reading this then you have also seen the special movie I've created. I do hope you have enjoyed it. Thanks for visiting and please sign the guestbook
Ilene

Friday, October 11, 2002 at 03:27 PM (CDT)

Early this afternoon I had another short visit from Jason ^I^. I came into the upstairs computer / office, where the window was open to let the breeze come through. There on the ledge was a small yellow butterfly.(The same kind that are always flying around in the flowers in front). It was not moving just sitting there being very quiet. I began to talk, when it moved just slightly so it was facing me more clearly. I told Jason that I missed him and that I wished I could see him as my Beloved Jason once again. I said other stuff but that is personal. Then I told Jason that I needed to go downstairs for a minute and to please wait for my return. When I came back he was still sitting on the ledge right where I'd left him. I was amazed that he was still there. I continued my one way conversation for a while as I watched the eyes looking right at me. Then I sat down at the computer for a few seconds not long at all. when I got up again to check and see if he was still there. The butterfly / Jason? was gone leaving me once again in a strange world I don't understand.

Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 05:32 PM (CDT)

Tuesday 9/23/02 3:01 PM PST
Jason decided to make another visit. This time he came to tease his older brother Josh. Josh was just not having the best of days, everything was going wrong and the poor guy was becoming so frustrated. We both new Jason was sitting up in heaven looking down at what was going on. We also know he had to be laughing his head off. Sure enough a short time later we received messages load and clear. We had gone to the bank the radio was on, when we left the car to go inside I didn't turn off the radio. When we got back into the car the radio of course came back on. On the radio was the song "I'm Blue" Both Josh and I new it had to be Jason. Then right afterwards the song "Crazy" by Britney Spear's came on. OK that was all we needed to know Jason was at it again. Britney was Jason's LOVE. Message sent "Josh your Blue and your crazy" Totally a Jason message to his brother. Got to love him. We sure do miss him. Thanks Jason for letting us know your still around.

Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 01:17 AM (CDT)

Monday September 16, 2002 11:20 PM PST
We had another visit from Jason. Today was Yom Kippur our day of Atonement when we are at services all day fasting. After services we went to my brother and sister in laws for what we call break fast. When we got home we found the lights on in both bookcases downstairs and upstairs. In order to turn these lights on you have to open the cabinet doors and then reach in and touch the inside of the door. We all know that none of us turned them on. The light on Mark's dresser was also turned on when we got home. When I found the downstairs one on I didn't think about it and just turned them off. Then I realized how strange it was that they were on in the first place. When Mark and Josh came downstairs I asked them about it. That is when Mark told me about his dresser light being on. When I went upstairs and saw the same lights on I called Mark back upstairs and told him his son was freaking me out. Mark, Josh and I all laughed knowing Jason was here playing his Practical Jokes, letting us know that he's around and watching.
Ilene

Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 08:44 PM (CDT)

Early this afternoon as I was driving home from some pre holiday earns. I was stopped at a major light near home. As I sat waiting for the light to turn green my thoughts were on the upcoming holiday of Rosh Hashanah and how again Jason will not be here with us. How can we begin another year without him? Doing anything for the Holiday seems like such a struggle. Then right in front of me there passed this large butterfly as it J Flew across the street. I watched it as it flew around for just a short moment or two. I knew it was Jason as he flew freely by just giving a quick hello to help ease the pain. Thanks Jason

Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 01:31 PM (CDT)

Yesterday I was up in the computer room just playing a game of Pachisi on the computer. I really wasn't thinking about much just concentrating on the game and relaxing. Out of no where I began to feel something strange yet nice. At that moment a strange shadow came over me almost lingering right behind me and over me at the same time. I knew right away who it was and turned around, there was nothing there. But that feeling was still there, it lingered on for a while longer before it was gone.
Thanks Jason for the visit, I love you too.
Mom always and forever

Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 07:50 PM (CST)

Dear Jason
This is our second Pesach without our baby. Sorry Jason if your reading this behind my back. Your were and always will be my baby. I can't believe I'm going throw another holiday without you. How can that be? Why is this happening? I really feel like this year is worse then last year. The pain feels stronger more real. I said I wasn't doing anything for the holiday this
year. Well, things changed and now I'm having 15 people for second night. I
feel totally over my head and wish I hadn't done this. But then if I didn't who would? I guess I'm the good daughter and daughter in law. I'm not planning a full seder just dinner and maybe a few blessings. I don't even know how or if I'm going to get through this. First night we were invited to friends but I turned the invite down. I'm totally shocking everyone in my family. I'm the one who always was the raditionalist the one who would go all out for the holidays. Now I want so little to do with any of it.
Well, Jason I know your behind me reading you always were and always will be. I'm sorry if I'm not living up to your expectations right now. I miss you so very much, I love you more then words could ever say.
Shalom
Mom
P.S. There is a cup of wine for you on the table. Come and enjoy.

Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 05:27 PM (CST)

Today is 2 years since we got the phone call and heard those awful words. " You son has cancer" to this day I still think this had to be a dream. It couldn't be real. Jason went into the hospital later that day to begin his fight. For 4 days before we got the final word. I kept thinking this is a mistake. Kids don't get cancer they don't get Leukemia. My child can't die. I remember Jason telling me himself that he didn't have cancer. He wasn't going to die. Jason kept telling me this for 10 months. He said it only hours before he took his last breath. Why he wasn't one of the chosen kids to win this awful fight I'll never know. Why any child has to die seems unreal to me. He's gone, we are here but my heart and soul are with him.
He is free from pain free from all his disabilities for this I should be thankful. I can't hold him, I can't talk to him, I can't feel his kisses, He isn't dancing or signing, for this I'm crying today and forever.

Friday, June 22, 2001 at 05:58 PM (CDT)

Yesterday was a bitter sweet day.  Josh our oldest Graduated from his program.  
There were 11 students this time graduating.  It started with the Graduates
coming down the aisles.  They were greeted by Sandy (One of the APE Teachers)
Then they went to there seats.  Our School was then presented with the US
Flag from the state capital.  This Flag was flown at the State Capital in the
Honor of the Class of 2001.  Afterwards each student received
a certificate of recognition from the California Legislature and from the
California State Senate.  Lots of speeches followed.  Then the Hi Tops
performed "Dare To Dream" 3 Graduates this year are Hi Top's members they
stood in the center of the Group as they signed.  Like normal this brought
tears to most.  
Each Grad went up to get there diploma and give there speech.  For some just
going up and walking across the stage and smiling, was all they could handle.
 Josh gave a nice Speech, when he mentioned that he got his permit the whole
room went crazy.  You all should have seen that big smile.  Of course Josh
remembered his brother and knew Jason was looking down.  
This year was the first year for the Jason Memorial Scholarship Award.  This
scholarship goes to the most deserving student to help farther there
Education or for other things to help them.  Jason's Teacher, Jim gave a nice
speech about Jason. (This brought tears to many) We were all very surprised
to learn that Josh was the first to receive this award.  After the ceremony
was over we all went over to Jason's Tree for family and friends Pictures.  

 I want to thank those that came from fair and near to be with us today for
this Happy Occasion.  I also want to thank everyone at the school for all your
support over the past many many years.  
Later that night we (the 3 of us)sent a red balloon to Jason with messages from each of us.
 

Tuesday, May 29, 2001 at 01:10 AM (CDT)

I wanted to share last nights events. Monday May 28, 2001 

Tonight was our temple's confirmation which is always held at the time of Shavuot (the Holiday when we received the 10 Commandments).  There were three students this year receiving there Confirmation each of them Seniors in Hi School ready to graduate soon.  Each of them participated in the service and gave speeches.  They each did a three sided display about themselves.  These displays were set up in the hall outside the sanctuary.  There were however four displays and four chairs up on the Bimah.  Though most of the services nothing was said about the fourth chair.  Towards the end of the service the Rabbi talked about the fourth chair.  The fourth student Jason.  He said some very beautiful things about Jason, those that know him  were in tears.   Many know who the fourth chair was for even before Rabbi spoke.  Rabbi also asked for a moment of silence to remember Jason.   
Three Students made there confirmation down on this earth, one made his tonight in Heaven.  Three Confirmation Students four chairs.  
Ilene

Tuesday, March 27, 2001 at 06:11 PM (CST)

It has now been 3 months since Jason our angel ^i^ left us for the world beyond. I've been told it is supposed to get easier but I haven't seen that or felt that. It seems to be getting harder and harder. This isn't his annual trip to camp for a month. So I can't call to find out how he is doing or what type of mischief he might be getting into. He isn't away at some Special Olympic Event so there will be no medals to show off to all our family and friends. He simply is away. Who or whom is he with? What is he doing? Is he happy? Is he still having those beautiful parties with those girls he told us about those last few days? As Jason himself stated the place he was going could cure but you were not cured right when you got there. Is he now cured of his illness and all his disabilities? What is Disneyland like up in Heaven? Jason did tell us there was one there. Most important of all; Does he know just how much he is loved and missed by so many people. Especially by his Mom, Dad and his brother Josh.
Mom

You can go back to my last post for our final tribute to Jason.

Thursday, December 28, 2000 at 09:50 AM (CST)

OUR ANGEL OUR HERO
Jason told us he loved us very much. Jason told me of his beautiful dreams. He dreamt of places that were fun like his trips to Disney. He dreamt that he was having parties with girls, lots of girls. He dreamt of places where you got cured of illness. This is where he kept going the last few days. He would go and come, go and come until Tuesday Morning when he made his final trip to this beautiful place. Jason always said he was our Angel. On Tuesday Dec 26th,00 around 2:00 Am, he truly became Our Precious Angel
Jason will always be remembered as our Angel our Hero. Mom, Dad & Josh.

This Web site will be left up In Loving Memory of a Son a Brother and a Beautiful
Friend.

Jason Ryan Aug. 1, 82, to Dec 26, 00

Thursday, December 28, 2000 at 09:40 AM (CST)

OUR ANGEL OUR HERO
Jason told us he loved us very much. Jason told me of his beautiful dreams. He dreamt of places that were fun like his trips to Disney. He dreamt that he was having parties with girls, lots of girls. He dreamt of places where you got cured of illness. This is where he kept going the last few days. He would go and come, go and come until Tuesday Morning when he made his final trip to this beautiful place. Jason always said he was our Angel. On Tuesday Dec 26th,00 around 2:00 Am, he truly became Our Precious Angel

He will always be remembered as our Angel our Hero. Mom, Dad & Josh.

This Web site will be left up In Loving Memory of a Son a Brother and a Beautiful
Friend.

Jason Ryan Aug. 1, 82, to Dec 26, 00

Wednesday, December 27, 2000 at 11:40 PM (CST)

OUR ANGEL OUR HERO
Jason told us he loved us very much. Jason told me of his beautiful dreams. He dreamt of places that were fun like his trips to Disney. He dreamt that he was having parties with girls, lots of girls. He dreamt of places where you got cured of illness. This is where he kept going the last few days. He would go and come, go and come until Tuesday Morning when he made his final trip to this beautiful place. Jason always said he was our Angel. On Tuesday Dec 26th,00 around 2:00 Am, he truly became Our Precious Angel

He will always be remembered as our Angel our Hero. Mom, Dad & Josh.

This Web site will be left up In Loving Memory of a Son a Brother and a Beautiful
Friend.

Jason Ryan Aug. 1, 82, to Dec 26, 00

Wednesday, December 27, 2000 at 11:24 PM (CST)

OUR ANGEL OUR HERO
Jason told us he loved us very much. Jason told me of his beautiful dreams. He dreamt of places that were fun like his trips to Disney. He dreamt that he was having parties with girls, lots of girls. He dreamt of places where you got cured of illness. This is where he kept going the last few days. He would go and come, go and come until Tuesday Morning when he made his final trip to this beautiful place. Jason always said he was our Angel. On Tuesday Dec 26th,00 around 2:00 Am, he truly became Our Precious Angel
He will always be remembered as our Angel our Hero. Mom, Dad & Josh.
This Web site will be left up In Loving Memory of a Son a Brother and a Beautiful
Friend.

Jason Ryan Aug. 1, 82, to Dec 26, 00

Wednesday, December 27, 2000 at 11:02 PM (CST)

OUR ANGEL OUR HERO
Jason told us he loved us very much. Jason told me of his beautiful dreams. He dreamt of places that were fun like his trips to Disney. He dreamt that he was having parties with girls, lots of girls. He dreamt of places where you got cured of illness. This is where he kept going the last few days. He would go and come, go and come until Tuesday Morning when he made his final trip to this beautiful place. Jason always said he was our Angel. On Tuesday Dec 26th,00 around 2:00 Am, he truly became Our Precious Angel
He will always be remembered as our Angel our Hero. Mom, Dad & Josh.
This Web site will be left up In Loving Memory of a Son a Brother and a Beautiful
Friend.

Jason Ryan Aug. 1, 82, to Dec 26, 00

Wednesday, December 27, 2000 at 10:49 PM (CST)

OUR ANGEL OUR HERO
Jason told us he loved us very much. Jason told me of his beautiful dreams. He dreamt of places that were fun like his trips to Disney. He dreamt that he was having parties with girls, lots of girls. He dreamt of places where you got cured of illness. This is where he kept going the last few days. He would go and come, go and come until Tuesday Morning when he made his final trip to this beautiful place. Jason always said he was our Angel.
On Tuesday Dec 26th,00 around 2:00 Am, he truly became Our Precious Angel
He will always be remembered as our Angel our Hero. Mom, Dad & Josh.

This Web site will be left up In Loving Memory of a Son a Brother and a Beautiful
Friend.

Jason Ryan Aug. 1, 82, to Dec 26, 00

Wednesday, December 27, 2000 at 10:23 PM (CST)

OUR ANGEL OUR HERO
Jason told us he loved us very much. Jason told me of his beautiful dreams. He dreamt of places that were fun like his trips to Disney. He dreamt that he was having parties with girls, lots of girls. He dreamt of places where you got cured of illness. This is where he kept going the last few days. He would go and come, go and come, until Tuesday Morning when he made his final trip to this beautiful place. Jason always said he was our Angel. On Tuesday Dec 26th,00 around 2:00 Am, he truly became Our Precious Angel
He will always be remembered as our Angel our Hero. Mom, Dad & Josh.
This Web site will be left up In Loving Memory of a Son a Brother and a Beautiful
Friend.

Jason Ryan Aug. 1, 82, to Dec 26, 00

Sunday, December 24, 2000 at 05:04 PM (CST)

Jason Update:
Jason has had a rough week. He spent several days in I.C.U and now is in D.O.U (Direct Observation Unit). D.O.U Is similar to I.C.U except it is for the less critical patents. Jason has been experiencing rectal bleeding caused by the chemo which has resulted in ulcers in his colon. He had a colonoscopy on Saturday to confirm the Colitis. He had several transfusions on Thursday. Currently his blood counts are stable. The doctors are exploring different treatments for the colitis and are working to get Jason back onto Chemo.
Jason is active, cheerful. He is spending his time playing Game Boy, beating his dad in Monopoly and continues to give mom and dad a hard time. His hospital room has been decorated for Hanukkah. We have been lighting Hanukkah candles nightly. Jason uses his index finger tip (which is red from the pulse monitor) to light the Hanukkah candles. Although Jason is a very sick young man his willingness and desire to fight are still STRONG.

Thursday, December 21, 2000 at 01:58 AM (CST)

Jason news update
Jason got to spend about a week out of the hospital. We didn't get to do much because he just wasn't up to doing much. He did enjoy being home as a family and most importantly sleeping in his own bed. He also enjoyed sleeping in Mommy's and Daddy's bed during the day when he wasn't feeling so great. The last day before going back in He got to spend time with Grandma Marion and Grandpa Cy when they came over so Grandma could help Mom make Latkahs for Hanukkah. Grandpa spent a lot of time massaging Jason's back that day. Grandpa has a magical touch that helps with the pain. Unfortunately Jason became very ill Saturday around midnight and had to return to the hospital earlier then planned. We had some difficulties Sunday through Monday night. He is now doing much better but still is not OK enough to begin any more chemo. We have been told he should be OK to begin again sometime between Thursday and Sunday. His Platelets need to become more stable if possible and his Colon needs to have more time to heal. Although Jason is a very sick young man his SPIRIT & FIGHT are still STRONG.

Tuesday, December 05, 2000 at 08:14 PM (CST)

The Holiday of Hanukkah is a time for Miracles. The Maccabbees were able to beat the odds, the oil kept burning the light did not go out. So again it can happen. All we need is a Hanukkah Miracle.
We now have an organization working with us and COH to get a drive going, more info to follow. Unfortunatly until Jason is put into remission we have been told no BMT. So far their has been no Remission. Right now Jason is back on a small amount of chemo inorder to help control the leukemia. This will not put him into remission. The Onc is now back from his Onc conference. We met for a short time. He is looking into some different plans of action. I'll be posting more. Jason is again having very sever bone pain. mostly in his back, and his feet. Jason is having a very hard time standing up He is being given a lot of pain medication. This has to be the most frustrating part of all this, along with being in the hospital for so long. It has now been a month again.

Tuesday, December 05, 2000 at 07:35 PM (CST)

Hi Everyone
I want to thank everyone for all your concern about the Bone Marrow Match for Jason. We now have an organization working with us and COH to get a drive going. When we get more info I'll post it here. We think it will be sometime in January. Unfortunatly until Jason is put into remission we have been told no BMT. Jason did not gain remission with this round of chemo. Right now Jason is back on a small amount of chemo inorder to help control the leukemia. This will not put him into remission. The Onc is now back from the conference. We met for a short time. He is now looking into some different plans of action. I'll be posting more in a day or two. Today Jason again had very sever bone pain. This time it was mostly in his back spine area, and his feet. Jason is having a very hard time standing up He has been given a lot of pain medication. This has to be the most frustrating part of all this.
The Holiday of Hanukkah is almost here (Dec 21st) Hanukkah is a time for M

Tuesday, December 05, 2000 at 06:45 PM (CST)

Hi Everyone
I want to thank everyone for all your concern about the Bone Marrow Match for Jason. We now have an organization working with us and COH to get a drive going.
When we get more info about when and where I'll be posting the info. We think it will be sometime in January. Unfortunatly until Jason is put into remission we have been told no BMT.
Jason did not gain remission with this round of chemo. Right now Jason is back on a small amount of chemo inorder to help control the leukemia. This will not put him into remission.
Today Jason again had very sever bone pain. This time it was mostly in his back spine area, and his feet. He can hardly stand up today He was given a lot of pain medication. What seems to work the best is the Demeral. This has to be the most frustrating part of all this.
Jason's Onc is now back from the conference. We meet for a short time to discuss plans. Right now Jason has not recovered enough to begin a new round of heavy c

Tuesday, December 05, 2000 at 02:57 AM (CST)

Hi Everyone
I want to thank everyone for all your concern about the Bone Marrow Match for Jason. We now have an organization working with us and COH to get a drive going.
When we get more info about when and where I'll be posting the info. We think it will be sometime in January. Unfortunatly until Jason is put into remission we have been told no BMT.
Jason did not gain remission with this round of chemo. We have known for a short time that there are again blast in his blood. Also the WBC is high. and his Platelets are not holding very well. Right now Jason is back on a small amount of chemo inorder to help control the leukemia. This will not put him into remission. Jason's Onc has been away at a conference. When he returns later this morning, we will be discussing plans. He did tell me on the phone that he does have some plan and that we are not giving up.
Today Jason again had very sever bone pain. This time it was mostly in his back s

Friday, November 24, 2000 at 01:21 AM (CST)

Hi Everyone
I haven't posted in a while sorry. Things have been a big rough with Jason still at Club kaiser. He finished the Chemo Reinduction almost a week ago Or was it two weeks now. See Guys I don't even know time any longer. His counts as of today were
WBC 0.2 Hemoglobin 9.1 Platelets 15 Lymph 100 ANC 0
He got Red Blood yesterday and is getting Platelets today. He also got Magniesium today because it was also low.
He has been having the awful cough but they can't find from where or why. They even did this very expensive test over the weekend and it came back neg. We are having the worst time getting him to eat much these days. Our neighbor brought some turkey dinner today and he ate some pie and some sweet potatoes. Mark and I were so happy to see him eating. Then later he did have some TV dinner he didn't eat it all but he did eat some. They have started him now on Amphotericin. The nurses call it Amphoterriorson. I've also heard it called Shake

Monday, November 13, 2000 at 04:12 PM (CST)

It has been a short while since I have posted to this Journal.
Jason went into the hospital on Tuesday night with very sever pain. It took most of Tueday night to get a complete grip on the pain issue. They began Chemo for Reinduction # 3 on time (Wed) as planned on Monday by his Onc. The week went well with only some small problems. Jason has needed platelets and blood already and he will be needing more in the next 2 weeks or so. He is now finished with his chemo and we are now just waiting for everything to happen. I have also been in contact with City of Hope Bone Marrow finder. They have some names of people but they are still looking. If you are of East Europe desent and can be a donor please register. I'll be posting more as things progress.

Wednesday, November 08, 2000 at 05:25 PM (CST)

Hi All
We are back from our trip. We got back on Thursday night from Fl MAW. We all had such a wonderful time.
BUT things went down hill rather quickly once we got home. On Sat Jason began to have bone pain in this pelvis and back. ( This was the same pain he was having in the hospital before we left). Sunday again more pain but only at night. On Monday we was back to see his Onc. The orginal plan was that he would be going back into the Hospital for Reinduction # 3 on Friday. His WBC was at 31.2 and he was at 8% blast so plans were changed to come in on Wednesday morning. Wish we could have made it to Wed. Tuesday afternoon ( yesterday) we were at the movies ( Jason my other son and myself) when Jason began complaining of pain. We had to leave the theater when he began screaming in pain. To make a long story short we ended up bringing him into the Kaiser ER. It took a lot of pain medication to calm him down and get rid of the pain. Then only a few hours later

Saturday, November 04, 2000 at 06:55 PM (CST)

Hi Everyone
We are back from Jason's Make A Wish and what a fun time we all had. Jason was totally loved and spoiled from the time we landed in Florida to the time we landed in Calif. Jason did not want to come home. We went to Disney's Animal Kingdom, Epcot Center, MGM, Universal & Island of Adventure & Sea World. This trip was truely a Wish Come True.
I've decided not to talk about any of the bad things going on with Jason at this time. So, For now you can all enjoy a few of our pictures having fun with Mickey Minnie and the rest.

Thursday, October 26, 2000 at 10:19 PM (CDT)

Hi Everyone
Quick update on Jason. He is doing great although the leukemia is right now running a muck. We are leaving for our MAW on Saturday going to Disney World. We are not staying at GKTW (Give Kids The World) but we have been told that we will be able to get onto the Property and will be having meals there. So If anyone else will be there at the time maybe we will meet. After we get back it looks like Jason will be going back into the hospital again for another Reinduction. 3rd time is the charm and we plan on Kicking Cancer BUTT. Jason's doctor told us to plan for him to be in the hospital for 3 to 4 weeks this time. Once Jason gains remission (We are thinking Positively) Jason will then, again be in the hospital for BMT. This Kid has a very hard battle ahead but he's ready to fight and so are we.

Saturday, October 21, 2000 at 01:58 PM (CDT)

Hi Everyone
Jason had another BMA ( BMB) on Tuesday . Wednesday late afternoon the onc came in with news we didn't want to hear. After a week of very heavy chemo that totally knocked out Jason's marrow, he is till not in remission. We still do not have complete answers to the whole BMA. We do know that the leukemia is there and that it is now also in the blood stream.
All of this is such a big blow to the whole family. We just can't believe what is happening.
Jason is still doing very well and in good spirits. We have talked to him about what is happening. He is asking what will be the next plan on fighting this monster. Jason understands very well what is happening and he wants to continue the fight. He said he is going to beat this. Knowing Jason we believe he means it. We are hoping Jason will be able to come home soon even if just for a few days. We all need a break from the hospital.

Sunday, October 15, 2000 at 05:36 PM (CDT)

10/15/00 3:30
Jason was home from the hospital on Friday late morning after almost a 2 week stay this time. This didn't last long, Jason came back to the Hospital Saturday evening.
He is running high fever again and has been in some pain. As of now they don't know what is causing the problem. We have been at Hotel Kaiser Inn and Suites now since Sept 25th with only two breaks lasting only one day each. Because Jason has not been well enough yet he hasn't had his BMB to check to see that he is back in remission. We are hoping he will be better soon and that they will be able to get the test done. We have not had our meeting with City of Hope as yet, so we have no info on the BMT. Not much else to post at this time. Thanks for all your prayers and warm thoughts they are truely getting us through this.

Tuesday, October 10, 2000 at 12:51 AM (CDT)

Oct 9th 10:30 pm PST
Hi Everyone
According to Jason's Oncologist we are now on day 16 since he was admitted to begin his chemo after his relapse. Jason has spent 15 out of 16 days in the hospital.
So far he has not been able to go more then a few hours with out a fever since Sunday night ( When we had to return to the hospital)
(The fevers have been as high as 39.9 )Jason is till having some problems with the runs but this seems to be not as bad today. He also is not crying out in pain as much today. Jason today slept most of the day and is still sleeping. Right now the Oncologist is not saying when we will be getting out of here any longer,and is now taking things one day at a time.
Ilene

Wednesday, October 04, 2000 at 03:10 AM (CDT)

Hi Everyone
We are still in the hospital. Jason is doing much better today with only a very slight fever. We have been told that Jason will be here at least until Monday or even Tuesday. We have also been told that Jason is now on the National Registry to find a Bone Marrow Donor. Many people have asked about being a donor for Jason. We are not going to be having any drives at this time. However if you want to you can go to any Red Cross and ask to be a donor. If you should choose to do this please understand you would be on the National Registry list. The more that do this the better chance Jason or any other person going through this will find a Match.
Thanks to all for your love and support.

Monday, October 02, 2000 at 10:09 PM (CDT)

Hi Everyone
Jason is now back in the hospital. He went in very early on Monday morning because of a fever. His counts are still ok but he has been nauseous and he has a back chemo rash on his head and face. Doctor said he will be in at least until Wed. They did take cultures, both from the port and from his arm. Jason was a trooper for it.
Just got a call from Mark, Onc was in and none of us are a match for Jason. Josh is only 2/6 Mark and I are both 4/6. Why are we being hit with this :(
OK everyone where do I go to find a rather large Valuim.

Monday, October 02, 2000 at 12:11 AM (CDT)

We are now home. Jason is now beginning to feel the chemo and is not doing to well.
Things will be hard for the next week.
Most of the info has not changed. so if you need more info please go back to the journal posted on Saturday Sept 30th.
thanks.

Saturday, September 30, 2000 at 01:40 AM (CDT)

It is now Friday at 11:35pm on Sept 29th
Jason is now in the hospital. He went in on Monday to begin a heavy round of chemo in order to get him back into remission. So far he has been handling things very well. His spirits are up and most of the day he has been very active. ( Well as active as you can be in this place) Tomorrow afternoon after Jason recieves his last 2 bags of chemo ( or as we call it toxic waste) Jason will be going home.
Jason's brother and both Mark and I were tested for whether any of us are a BMT match for Jason. We are still waiting results.
The next 2 weeks will be hard as we wait until Jason can have another BMB to see if he is in remission.
Jason has been taking walks down the hall with Charley ( the IV ) and Freddy the invisable dog. Most of the hospital have been very supportive and goes along with our joking round. As you can all see, even through all of this Jason is still making Lemonaide out of the lemons he is

Wednesday, September 20, 2000 at 10:28 PM (CDT)

To All
Jason had his routine BMB on Thursday Sept 14 all went well during the testing. But 5 days later on Tuesday we got news no one ever wants to hear. Jason had relapsed in the Bone Marrow with a count of 30% blast. Right now Jason is having no signs of problems and looks fine. But the disease is coming back. On Wed we were all back at the Onc office to discuss what our next step would be in the fight.
Jason will be going into the hospital on Monday and will be there for a week. Then we wait for the Bone Marrow Transplant. All 3 of us were tested to see if any of us are a match. We have been told that Josh is the most hopeful because he is a sibling. We should have answers next week as to who if any of us are a match.

Saturday, September 02, 2000 at 09:03 PM (CDT)

Hi
It has been about a week since my last update. So before everyone starts asking what is happening here is the latest news.

Sept is Childhood Cancer awareness month. http://www.nccf.org/ There will be many events happening through out the States. http://www.hopestreetkids.org/ Also the Leukemia Lymphoma Society will be having there Annual LIGHT THE NIGHT events. For more info you can contact your different chapters. or visit the web site. http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/

Jason is still in DI round 1. He has only a few more days of chemo for this cycle. He has been doing very well with only a small amount of fatigue and nausea. Most of the time his counts have been great with his ANC staying way above the 1000 mark. The last week his counts did begin to drop which was to be expected. Also his Liver scans on Wed did come back a little high. We have been lucky during this round that his liver scans have been staying within normal range.

Jason has been great about loosing his hair and now goes around telling people to go ahead and rub the magic bald stop. I'm also getting used to his cute bald head.

Jason's Onc has given us permission to send this KID BACK TO SCHOOL. So provided all counts are OK and that he is feeling OK Jason will be returning to school on the 7th. For the next year Jason will be hopefully in more then out but he will be having to miss some school because of treatment and off counts. We are all looking forward to Jason getting back into a normal routine.

Jason will be having another Spinal and Bone Marrow Biopsy Sept 12 I'll be posting to let everyone know what happens about a week later. Please keep good thoughts.
Thanks to all for coming to Jason's site.

Saturday, August 26, 2000 at 12:41 AM (CDT)

It has been a while since I posted an update on Jason's site.
Jason was back into clinic most of this week as we began part 2 of this phase of treatment. ( for those that understand Jason is now more then 1/2 way finished with DI). Although Jason did loose his hair in the first part of this phase, Jason is doing very well and his spirit is still shinning bright. Jason is the most spoiled kid in the Adult Onc department with both the Chemo nurses and other staff always giving him stuff. On Thursday his regular nurse gave him an egg filled with candy. Today he got a Danish from the staffs food. They all love him spoil him then return him. We are back to the hospital (Infusion center) later today for more chemo then again on Monday. Jason has another few weeks on this cycle treatment.
For those of you that might be interested here is a web site for kids with ALL. And other forms of childhood cancer.
Jason is also on this site. One Voice Across America 1999
This site is about a boy that rode his bike across the US he is a survivor of ALL.

Thursday, August 17, 2000 at 02:58 AM (CDT)

Hi Everyone
This is not an easy journal to post.
Jason's clinic went well today. His counts are good because of the steriods. This week he is off chemo and off steriods. Next week he begins another heavy round of chemo.
Jason's hair is now coming out. This time it is much worse then before. He has asked that we shave it off so tomorrow our friend and neighbor is going to do it for him. Jason has lost other body hair as well. Jason is handling this very well and is telling me that he knows the chemo is working to get the bad cells and that his hair will grow back. So for now Jason will have a very lovely bald head. Jason also loves the idea of not having to wash his hair.
Got to love this kid. Lemonaide anyone. :0

Tuesday, August 08, 2000 at 01:47 AM (CDT)

Jason was back in the clinic this afternoon. He had an LP and his chemo Jason was only give 50mg Demerol this time for his LP along with the Adivan. The Onc wanted to see if he could do it without being put so far under. Jason did great with only a small ouch. The Onc gives him a lot of praise afterwards. He came home and ate 1 Arbys Sub, 2 Arby
sandwiches and 3 potato cakes. I guess this kid was hungry. After that he went to bed.
Jason has not had any more problems with that strange nausea since Friday. He also hasn't had any pain in his neck. Although he has been doing some mild jerking. Jason will be getting his 3rd round Chemo on Wed. Then he has a week of (Steroids). After that he has a week off before he starts the 2nd part of DI.
During the first week on the Steroids Jason seemed ok with just some small mood swings. But during the week off Jason has broken out with acne on his face. I've never seen him look this back. It doesn't hurt him and he doesn't seem bothered by it so I guess this is good.
I questioned the Onc about the Blast in the last marrow. He showed me the protocol and it does say that an M2 marrow can happen at this point. Because I guess DI is like a reinduction / reconsolidating they don't worry about it at this time. Jason's Blast were 20 to 30%. I can tell you all I will be breathing much better after Jason's next BMB shows he is again at MI. This road sure has a lot of wild turns.
Jason has been taking all of this with a smile, still making Lemonache out of all these lemons.

Thursday, August 03, 2000 at 10:17 PM (CDT)

Hi Everyone

Yesterday Jason was again in the clinic to begin week 2 of Delay In. He got his chemo and saw the Onc. They had a small party for him it was so nice. I brought the cake they did the rest.
I got a chance to talk things over with the Onc and we finally made a decision between CCG arm A or B. After a lot of soul searching and a lot of questions asked, We are going with Arm B. So Jason will be getting the second delayed Intest. I feel much better now that this is behind us.
He is still complaining of pain at the L-Asp injection site still. No more rash problems and no fever. Jason finished a week on Dexamethasone on Tuesday and is now on his week off. So far so good. Please keep good thoughts for Jason as we go through this cycle of chemo.

Sunday, July 30, 2000 at 03:10 AM (CDT)

Part 2 Of the L-Asp story.
See last update for part 1.

This morning things got worse. Jason woke up late in the morning ( nothing unusual around here on a Sat morning. He complained terribly of his back side hurting him. ( Where the injection was given) He also has a very small rash in a square right at the site. He also spiked a fever of 100.0 which went right down with Tylenol. Now his Arm ( the broken side ) along with his back side is hurting but no fever. Tylenol with cod. was given for this. Jason seemed better later in the day, late afternoon early evening. He actually went to play at his friends for a while. He again didn't feel so great later on complained of pain at the site again. Cold compress helped and he went to bed soon after this.
Sorry about the roll a coaster.

Friday, July 28, 2000 at 11:03 PM (CDT)

Hi Everyone
Today was Jason's second day at the clinic for this cycle.
Wednesday he got the vincristine & doxorubicin. He did OK with this. Then Today he went back for his first L-asparaginase. This didn't go as well. They did a test for the L-asp before they gave the full dose. It was like a TB test. He got a small rash around the area so they had to go check with the onc to see what to do. They ended up giving him Benadyl IV 50mg before giving him the L-asp shot. Jason got very tired and fell asleep for a while at the clinic. He then slept most of the day at home. He is again back in bed and I figure he will just sleep through the night. Now I'm concerned about the L-Asp and whether Jason will be able to tolerate it for the rest of treatment. Jason also started on dexamethasone. So far this isn't causing him to want to eat a lot. As a matter of fact Jason just isn't eating well these days. It is causing the irritability and the mood swings are already getting to me. We are only on Day 3 of this cycle and I can already tell this isn't going to be easy.
Tuesday is Jason's 18th Birthday. Please Pray that he is feeling OK to enjoy it. This is the only day next week he doesn't have to go in for Chemo. Gee what a fun week for someone turning 18. I HATE THIS SO MUCH.

Wednesday, July 26, 2000 at 07:47 PM (CDT)

Jason had his second opinion on Tuesday. Basically we were told that everything is going OK. This Onc was very nice and answered all of our questions. We still are not sure if Jason will go through one or two DI's. This will depend on how he handles the first DI. There is a lot of pro's and cons with this, so this will be a very important decision we will have to make.
Today we were back at our regular clinic. Jason had to be seen by both the Oncologist and Orthopedics. We ran between both departments. Final out come was that his Shoulder is healing OK and that he was OK to start back on his chemo. Jason is now in Phase 4 D.I. We will keep you posted as to how Jason does during this cycle of chemo. If anyone is interested in knowing what chemo Jason is getting you can find out at this web site. http://www.acor.org/ped-onc/diseases/ALLtrials/1961.html#anchor574900
New Pictures have been posted. Hope you all enjoy.

Thursday, July 20, 2000 at 11:59 PM (CDT)

Hi
Thank you to all for your Get Well Wishes for Jason, and for all your prayers for today.
Jason's BMB / BMA & LP went OK today. We were at the clinic all day from 11 am to 5 PM. Most of it was just waiting and then waiting for him to wake up after it all was over. The Onc looked at all the scrapes and bruising from the fall said he was OK. The only concern was the scrape on his chin and he said that will heal. He also asked for the
x-rays that were taken on Sunday. Would you believe the
x-rays didn't come up to Onc until we were leaving. The Onc was already gone for the day. So they were left on the Onc's desk and he will see them in the morning. This was the first time that I saw what is taken when they do the BMB and BMA.
It is different, but I can't explain it sorry. They had 2 different small bottles with different stuff in it and a lot of slides with blood type stains. It all goes to the Pathologist. They also send the Spinal Fluid to the lab this time.
Jason is now not due back in until Wed the 26th. He does go in for his second opinion on the 25th. It takes about a week for results from this hospital.
Jason did tell me that the BMB & BMA did hurt him a lot even though he was given Demerol and Adivan. He says the LP is not as bad. Jason is somewhat out but not completely and does know what is going on. Afterwards he will sleep for a few hours.
Jason's shoulder seems to be healing OK and he isn't in pain any longer

Monday, July 17, 2000 at 12:11 AM (CDT)

Hi Everyone
I'm so frustrated I just can't believe this kids luck. I was visiting my neighbor across the street. Jason's brother and father were both home. Jason decided to come across the street to play with his friend. Jason instead fell off the curb into the street. When he got across the street he was in a lot of pain. Chin scraped up elbow scraped up and his hands were just a little scraped up. He would not move his left arm and really cried when he had to move it. So off to the hospital we went. Jason is now home in bed with a broken
Shoulder bone on the Left side. Jason's broviac is also on the left side and to top things off Jason is left handed.
Jason goes in on Thursday for his next BMB & LP I'm hoping this will not effect things to much. Does anyone know if the Chemo will make the Healing take any longer or cause any problems. Jason should be going into DI next. I Was told the shoulder will take about 6 weeks to heal. No Cast just a sling he has to wear.
Anyone want to come over and help me with my Gray Hair. LOL

Friday, July 14, 2000 at 12:42 AM (CDT)

Jason was in the Onc Clinic this morning. His counts were all great. WBC 4.2 Normal. His Hemoglobin 13.2 & Hematocrit 40.2. Platelets were 223. Neut 71.4 The ALK, SGPT, BILI & LDH were still pending. Anc. 2998.8
He also had an XRay ( Chest) because of a mild cough. It did show something on the left side. Was told it was either the start of a Virus or something else or a nothing. Since the Onc isn't sure they are treating it with Cipro. Whatever it is the Onc isn't to worried but decided to play it safe then sorry.

Mon Jul 10 5:43:10 CST 2000

HI
Everyone today we all went to Knotts. Dad had promised after he came home from working in San Diego we would go. We all had a great time even with Jason making a short visit to the first aide station. He just needed a little time to let the nausea go away and off we were again having fun. The evening ended of course at the Knotts Chicken House where Grandma and Grandpa Joined us. We now have Pie and extra chicken for lunch.
Jason has been back on his 6mp since Monday night. This so far is the only chemo. So we are not sure if the nausea was caused by to much excitement or the chemo. The 6mp is causing a decrease in appetite.
Sorry our camera man (Jason) decided not to take pictures. We got annual passes so we will be going again and next time well take some pictures.

Sat Jul 8 3:41:58 CST 2000

Jason saw the onc this afternoon, he continues doing very well. Jason's liver is also improving. Jason's Onc finally put him back onto his Bactrim. Jason will be taking this two times a week for now. Jason is completely back on his treatment and will finish Interim Maintenance on July 12. Jason is scheduled for his LP and BMA on July 20th. This will be the first time the BMA will be done in the Clinic rather then the O.R.

Good news from Brother Josh
Drivers Ed is going well.

Sat Jul 8 3:19:31 CST 2000

Jason saw the onc this afternoon, he continues doing very well. Jason's liver is also improving. Jason's Onc finally put him back onto his Bactrim. Jason will be taking this two times a week for now. Jason is completely back on his treatment and will finish Interim Maintenance on July 12. Jason is scheduled for his LP and BMA on July 20th. This will be the first time the BMA will be done in the Clinic rather then the O.R.

Good news from Brother Josh
Drivers Ed is going well.

Fri. Jul 7 2:21:12 CST 2000

Jason saw his Onc this afternoon he continues doing very well. Jason's liver is also improving. Jason's Onc finally put him back on the Bactrim. Right now he will be taking it 2 times a week.
Jason finishes Interim Maintenance on July 12th. Then he is scheduled for his next LP and BMB on July 20th. This time both are being done in the clinic. First time Jason isn't being taken to the O.R. for his BMB.

Some Good news from Brother Josh.
Drivers Ed is going well.

Wed Jul 5 19:41:53 CST 2000

My First Update on Jason's page.
Last week Jason was at Camp Ronald Mc Donald for Good Times. He came home very excited about his wonderful week.
On Monday he was back at the Clinic. Everything right now is going ok. His liver problem is improving and he is back on his Treatment.
More later.

Click here to go back to the main page.

----End of History----