Toireasa's Dream

"I want the pain to stop.
I don't want any other children to hurt like me!"
Toireasa Margaret Ann Barry
1/7/97 - 4/24/02

Journal

Wednesday, May 21, 2008 10:54 PM CDT

Dear Friends,

It has be a while since I updated this journal. There have been some amazing things that have happened. I am now a certified surgery/trauma/transplant nurse specializing in kidney transplant.... it makes it more special since Toireasa had 4 kidneys....

There was a man who I took care of last year who meant so much to me. I helped him remember who he was through his music. The hospital who I work for asked me to post my thoughts on every day healing and here's what I said...

I can remember as a child thinking to myself… why would someone want to be a nurse when they could be a doctor? I watched the nursing students running from class room to classroom at the university down the street. It really didn’t make sense to me. It was a passing thought and one I didn’t think about until years later.

A few years ago I had a daughter who was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma at the age of 3 years. She fought valiantly for 2 years but eventually succumbed to the disease in April of 2002. What I remember from those two years of treatments, are the nurses who sat by my side, who held my hand, and were the ones who truly understood what I was going through.

My daughter in her infinite wisdom before she died asked me to "find a way to stop the pain so no other child could hurt like her." It took a few years to figure out what exactly she meant, but then an envelope appeared under my door one night in 2004 – an application to nursing school. A light bulb went off and everything became clear.

Now four years later, I am in a profession where my extensive knowledge of music, I am a violist, sound engineer and conductor; my knowledge of desktop publishing, I ran a newspaper for 17 years; and my love of helping others is thrown into one career. A day does not go by where I don’t look forward to coming to work. The patients I care for are my life and the light in an otherwise dark world.

I joined Tenet in 2006 as a nurse extern at Graduate Hospital. I got my RN that fall and stayed until Graduate closed its doors. I then transferred to Hahnemann and had the opportunity to join the team on the Surgery Special Care Unit.

That summer I had the opportunity to work with a patient who had a traumatic brain injury. In the several weeks that he was on our floor I had the pleasure of talking with his parents and finding out who this patient, this person really was. He was a musician, a teacher, a son and a friend. I asked his parents to bring in things that he was familiar with. One day a keyboard appeared at his bedside, his brother had brought it in. I worked with this patient for several days and got him to remember how to play. A few days later he remembered how to write. Recently, months after he left Hahnemann, I received an email from him and his mother where they thanked me for all the care he received and told me he is back teaching & playing music again and hiking in the mountains in upstate New York.

Now as I help my hospital, and the nurses I have the privilege to work with prepare for Nurses Week, I am reminded of that young man who had so much strength, courage and determination to get better. And, I remember and thank my daughter who helps and guides my hands and my heart every day.

My heart and prayers are with each and every one of you every day. You are in my thoughts and my actions. You are my inspiration.

I love you.

Julia

Hospital Information:

Patient Room: Perelman Oncology Unit

Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP)
34th Street and Civic Boulevard
Philadelphia, PA 19104
215-590-1000

Email address  : bjulz@aol.com