I do know this is long overdue. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have sat down to write this entry and just didn’t know exactly how to describe the feelings. As I sat in church one Sunday, by chance I was able to listen to our pastor as he repeated this scripture and it really sunk in.
13 People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." 16 And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. (Mark 10:13-16 NIV)
Joshua finished his last dose of chemo, May 9 at 10:26 pm. He and Isabell were lying in his hospital bed watching a movie as the last bit of medicine went into his body. We clapped and celebrated. Then I laid next to him and told him how proud I was of him and how amazing he has been through everything. He looked up at me as he plainly spoke these words, “Mama, can we say thank you God?” As tears filled my eyes, I took his hands in mine and said absolutely and we held hands and said his and Isabell’s prayer they learned from BOZ, the big green bear. “Thank you God as this day ends, for my family and my friends. Taking time to sit and pray, thank you God for this great day!” At two years old, he’s asking me if we can thank God. What an amazing moment which made this scripture even more powerful than it already is. As our Pastor spoke these words I was completely in awe. I feel like I have learned so much from this situation and from Josh, but it’s a constant process, to say the least.
I sincerely apologize for taking so long to update Joshua’s site. I have prayed about the update literally every day. I’m not sure if that makes any sense to anyone, it’s just been a challenge as to know what to write. I really in truly try to write exactly what I’m feeling with each update and this time my feelings are hard to describe and even a little confusing to say the least and that is hard to admit. We are so very excited, truly, that Joshua has not only completed all of his treatment but that he came through all of it with no complications. What an amazing blessing! We are so very thankful all of his tests have come back with the best results possible. The hard part is we have been here before with all the same test results, and it is just a scary thing. With chemo, you know the tumor stays away. It’s hard to admit these feelings because we do have faith in Joshua’s healing, it’s just hard when you have no control, your baby’s life is out of your control, but I suppose it was that way even before he had cancer, I just never had to think of it that way. But as he looks at me right now, as I’m typing, and he gives me that big, mischievous, yet loving and happy smile, I know what matters is that God is in control and I do have faith in that, it’s just hard to accept sometimes.
With that, obviously, much has happened since the last update. We left the hospital in just enough time to make it to the benefit for Joshua at the American Legion and we were honored to be present as 20 year cancer survivor, Amber Dancin shaved her head as a dedication and fundraiser for Joshua. Amber and Rick have been a true blessing and they will never know how much we appreciate them and everything they have done for us. Josh made it through his last round of very low white counts with no problems. With every passing minute with no fever, I thanked God over and over. Two weeks after he finished chemo he had his end of treatment bone marrow check just to make sure everything was clear. Of course, he had to be sedated once again. To our surprise, things did not run quite as smoothly this time around. As they were going in to his bone marrow for the second sample there were complications and Joshua aspirated, he quit breathing and went into distress and ended up in ICU. It was not a fun day and very emotional to put it mildly. Again, our amazing son recovered and was actually able to go home later that afternoon. Thank you to God, his bone marrow came back clear and they did feel they got a good enough sample so he doesn’t have to do it again. He’s been going more than strong ever since. We were able to go down to Orange Grove to celebrate my nephew, Anthony’s, high school graduation. We are so proud of him. The next week we got to go on our first “family vacation.” We joined the rest of my family at the Frio River for 5 days. The kids had an absolute blast and it’s unanimous, they love the river! We celebrated Isabell’s 5th birthday. Yes, I said 5. She is such an amazing little girl. She has endured and had to understand more things than most 5 year olds and she has handled it all better than we could ever begin to ask for.
I do apologize for not updating the website for so long, as I pray you have not given up on me. God has blessed us in more ways than we can keep up with. Every day is a true blessing. We do continue to ask for prayers that Joshua’s cancer is healed forever. Thank you for your constant support through this entire process. You are all true blessings, thank you! We love you and May God Bless each and every one of you!
