Journal

Tuesday, February 24, 2004 8:11 AM CST

Good morning all,

I want to start by saying "Happy Birthday" to my angel mom! Today would have been her 65th birthday......I thought I would feel so sad about it....actually, I'm not sure what I feel....maybe just numb? I don't know...there is just an emptiness. My life is so full. I am blessed in so many ways. I have so much to be grateful for, yet, there is an indescribable hole left inside, that was once filled by my mother's presence with us here.....whether in person, on the phone or in her written words....It has been almost 5 months since she left us. Sometimes, it still doesn't seem real. It just seems so foggy or fuzzy or blurry......anyway, even though her birthday probably doesn't mean anything to her anymore, I want to take some time today to celebrate who she was and is to all of us. I will raise a glass and toast to the beautiful person she was and try to take advantage of all the things that she cannot do here with us anymore.

A note about my dad as well.....he returned home yesterday afternoon after his 10 days recovery post open heart surgery. He had some ups and downs, as most of you know, but he seems to be having more ups now and is progressing pretty well. He has oxygen on hand as needed, but has been able to keep his sats in the low 90's without oxygen, even after going on walks and being up and around. It may just be necessary to have the oxygen at night because everyone's oxygen level drops while we sleep. Anyway, his voice sounds much better and stronger, and he is less breathless than he had been. It will take some time for his diaphragm to heal, but hopefully it will recover completely and allow him normal breathing again.

I want to close this journal today with a song and lyrics in honor of my mom. She started this tradition as far back as I can remember.....every year, we woke to this song blaring out of the living room speakers! What a way to start your day and the beginning of your new year.....I have followed this tradition with my own family now. I wish I could add the music to her website....I haven't mastered that yet, but I am sure most of you have heard it and can sing along! Here you go Mom.....this time, this one is for YOU!!

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