CaringBridge^TM
Guestbook

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Im sending all my love to you all,

Love

Viks

Thinking about you this month more than any other. I found this and thought it expressed best what I wanted to say:

Hello, just dropping by to send a hug to you









Love Viks on behalf of everyone at Post Pals

Debbie,
I have been meaning to write for awhile...my computer hasn't been on its very best behaviour off late. I really just wanted to come by and wish you a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.. I know Matt will be celebrating for you in Heaven... I hope you are able to enjoy most of your day... God bless.



~*~*Girlie's Page*~*~

Love always,
XOXOXOXOXO

Thinking of you this Easter, Love everyone at Post Pals

Just stopping in to let you know we are thinking of Matthew and pray a happy healthy birthday in heaven.

im sure you must get bored of hearing it, and i wish i could find something more orginal to say, but i AM thinking of you,






Love viks from BWC and Post Pals

Kendrie's mother included your son's web site on her list of 100, and I am visiting all 100 children.
Matt,
Me and the bears are thinking of you tonight and sending a big hug up to Heaven.

- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 8:26 AM CST

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I just wanted to send my regards to your family. I've been following your site, and even though I never met Matthew, I am very glad I have learned about him.
Christopher- congratulations on the acceptances! The process is long and tedious, I know (I'm a med student myself), but you deserve all of your good news!
Michele <Singing_Kitty@hotmail.com>
New York, NY 10010 - Monday, December 22, 2003 11:12 PM CST

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Dearest Debbie ~
It's another 22nd, another month without sweet Matthew, and my heart continues to ache for your loss, knowing you are spending another Christmas without your baby. I know you must sometimes think I'm nuts, but I wanted to tell you that I didn't forget to say Matthew's name outloud during Chad's last spinal tap when he ended tx. It was The End of a journey for us, more than 3 years of chemo and meds, in hopes that Chad's cancer is gone for good. With the doctor, nurses, Bill, Chad, and myself all in the room, I bent down to kiss my precious son after the LP was done, and I just said "MATTHEW" out loud into Chad's soft cheek. It was so quiet in the room, but no one there asked me why I said Matthew's name. I just cried with relief for my boy, and cried in sorrow for the loss of yours.
I am praying for peace for you and Dirk during the holidays, and sending love for Christopher, Cami, Brad, and Julie. God Bless you all ~
Love,
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 8:51 PM CST

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Hi Debbie. I still check in on you daily, but don't always sign. I look forward to updates on Matthew's page. I hope you find some bit of peace this year during the holidays. I know it will never seem "right" but hopefully it will get "better". Hugs to you!

www.caringbridge.org/in/brockbarnard
LeeAnn Barnard <lsbarnard@hotmail.com>
Selma, IN USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 5:29 PM CST

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Good morning Debbie,
I am sorry I don't sign in as often as I check on you and your family. Somehow I don't seem to have the right words( are there really any?)and hesitate to write something inane. Your entries are inspiring and I admire your faith and courage. My best wishes to you and your family for a peaceful holiday.
Mary
Manchester , MO - Monday, December 22, 2003 8:59 AM CST

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Hi Debbie,

I visit often, but I don't sign the guestbook. I am signing today to let you know that I check frequently to see how you are all doing. I'm glad to read you are doing well and keeping busy. My thoughts are with you and your family during the holiday season.

-Erika in Massachusetts
(the one who emailed you with Photoshop help)
--
- Monday, December 22, 2003 8:55 AM CST

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Thinking of you today.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Monday, December 22, 2003 8:49 AM CST

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Dear Debbie,
I just wanted to say I'm sorry for not signing in lately... I've just started a new temp job and that keeps me busy and I find it so hard to keep up with the guestbooks...I'm trying my best :) I do check Matt's page daily though, if not, once every couple of days...just to see if you've updated. I look forward to reading your updates, your thoughts and feelings, and to learn more about Matt that I never did before as I only found his page after he passed away. Sounds like this Christmas will be pretty busy for you...I know it's hard...and I do share your pain with you. Not having my mom here is tearing me apart but at the same time I know that I have to go on... well, I only just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and your family...and I pray that this holiday season surrounds you with all the peace, comfort and love that you need to get through it without Angel Matt...he is watching over you from Heaven. Lots of love from my family to yours...

~*~*Girlie's Page*~*~

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
XOXOXOXOXO
Janice <janiceliew1981@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Monday, December 22, 2003 5:18 AM CST

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Dear Debbie - Love the photos, although the one of Julie and Matthew two years ago at Christmas is so poignant. I am often thinking of you and your family. Prayers and peace, especially over Christmas.
Gloria McShane <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Darlington, England - Sunday, December 21, 2003 3:32 PM CST

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Dear Debbie & Family,
I haven't checked in in awhile as I too have been having some hard times with dealing with our loss as well. I just want you to know that you are constantly in my thoughts and heart... I haven't been able to update either so you know that feeling? Anyway it will just be Chuck, Lauren & I for christmas too! Jason is in Akansas, but that is another long story anyway please try to have a wonderful holiday and don't be too hard on yourself...
With much Love!

Laura, mom to ^i^ Kristin www.caringbridge.com/fl/kristinhofmann <clb1017@msn.com>
Lake City, FL - Sunday, December 21, 2003 1:07 PM CST

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Matthew (Zofran to me) was a great friend. He was a clanmate to me a little over 2 years ago, maybe even 3.
I don't remember if i left an entry on this page back when the bad news came, although i remember trying to. I'll have to sift through a find it.

Today i mentioned Zofran and his story to some other friends online. And it occured to me that it was christmas time, and some kind words might help his family.

Although Matthew is not with us now, he always will be in our hearts, in your hearts, in all our hearts. This Christmas and every such beyond is for him, to me. It is a time of family, a time of caring, and to you i send my hopes and blessings.

Have a merry christmas, make sure you remember him in happiness.. he IS here with us :)
Exor, FLF Development Team
Peterborough, ON Canada - Saturday, December 20, 2003 10:39 AM CST

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Thinking about you and praying for you always.
Probably would not be such a great comfort or support to you right now. You're right, the first Christmas will be/is so hard.
God Bless-
ALison
www.caringbridge.com/page/alexandriasangels
alison haddock <alisonhaddock@charter.net>
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 11:42 PM CST

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Thinking of your family, especially this holiday season.
May your days be filled with joy and peace and abundant
blessings. I know that your heart misses your son so much.
Please know that I am here.
Jackson's mom, Michelle
Clear Lake, Wisconsin - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 11:21 AM CST

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What a beautiful picture of your child. I wish you some happiness, joy, good memories, and the knowledge that you will be reunited one day. Love, Laura
www.caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer <foryoucolton@aol.com >
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 8:31 PM CST

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I gently wrap warm thoughts of you
in my christmas prayers
For Heaven to smile on you
For Angels to watch over you
and the love of Jesus to fill your heart
Have A Merry Christmas
God Bless You And Your Family This Holiday

Chris Ullrich - Grand-daughter dx with AML M5 <c_ullrich@msn.com, www.caringbridge.com/page/isabellaledesma >
Hemingford, Ne USA - Saturday, December 13, 2003 8:19 AM CST

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Dearest Debbie ~
In the midst of all the holiday hustle & bustle, my thoughts often turn to you and your family. I pray for you often and wish you all a peaceful Christmas. I know it is still so hard without Matthew by your side. Thank you for the new photos here ~ you have such a beautiful family.
Sending love always ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, December 12, 2003 9:47 PM CST

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My family and I went to the Childhood Cancer Awareness Tree Lighting ceremony in Washington, DC this past Saturday. As always, it is a huge, grand tree, simply covered with gold ribbons commemorating children who have cancer, have survived cancer, and those who fought bravely, but lost the battle. It is beautiful, but a daunting reminder of the sheer numbers of children who fight this beast.

I walked up to this tree, somewhat overwhelmed by all the ribbons, and through my teary eyes began reading the names on ribbons looking for my daughter's name. Immediately, I came upon Matthew's ribbon. I remembered your posts on the ALL-Kids list on Matthew's treatment, and how we all mourned his passing.

Debbie, I don't know you, and I live far from you. But I remember Matthew, and I spoke of him with another mom from the list who also remembered. He won't be forgotten.

I wish you joy and peace this season.
Karen, Mom to Clare, dx pre-B ALL 11/29/01, OT 1/04, ALL-Kids list <ardenroad@mac.com>
Cabin John, MD - Tuesday, December 9, 2003 5:04 PM CST

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Debbie- my thoughts and prayers have been with you as the Christmas holidays draw near. I pray for peace for you. Hope you have been not too crazy busy at work. I think of Matthew often and wonder how you are doing!
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, December 9, 2003 4:53 PM CST

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Just so you know, The games have changed. The people have changed. FLF does not really even exist anymore. I have moved onto other games, As have everyone else. I read your post about how Zof didn't want to be forgotten. Well, I hope this maybe eases your mind a little, I am still an online gamer, And I remember Matt every day of my life and I always will. he touched my heart like nobody ever has before. I will always honor his memory as long as I'm still breathing. I have this page marked and check here often (although sometimes I'm hoping to see new pictures of Julie- she's a hottie !!) But please, Don't feel like the gaming community has forgotten Zof, Because I know I'll always carry his name.
Gamer
- Tuesday, December 9, 2003 1:36 PM CST

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Just stopped in to let you know that I'm thinking of you. I know this is an extremely difficult time of year, but I'm praying that each day is filled with happy memories of Matt. God bless!
Christi <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Monday, December 8, 2003 1:25 PM CST

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I was thinking of your family today, I am sure that this time of year must be very hard for you all to deal with. I wish that there were some way that it could be easier for you. Just wanted you to know that you were in someones thoughts and prayers
Debby Roberts.............................http://www.caringbridge.org/oh/emilyroberts/ <Djfrro@aol.com>
- Thursday, December 4, 2003 12:48 AM CST

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Debbie- thinking and praying for you! I hope your days have been filled with good memories and loving rememberances. It is faith that must keep us all going.
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, December 2, 2003 9:00 PM CST

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Dear Debbie,
I can understand your sadness about the gaming community, but even though they are new names, I am sure that those who were there before, and knew Matthew, have not forgotten him. I am sure many of them will always remember him. I am glad you saved it. Hope your Thanksgiving was spent with much love of family and precious memories of Matthew.
In Him,
Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Monday, December 1, 2003 9:44 PM CST

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Hi Debbie,
I hope your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving...you are all in my thoughts and prayers...

~*~*Girlie's Page*~*~

Love,
XOXOXOXO
Janice <janiceliew1981@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Monday, December 1, 2003 10:27 AM CST

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Angel Matt & family,
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! You are all in my prayers today and everyday...

~*~*Girlie's Page*~*~

Love,
XOXOXOXO
Janice <janiceliew1981@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Thursday, November 27, 2003 12:26 AM CST

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Debbie- I am praying for you this Thanksgiving day! I am glad you have your family with you. Matthew's presence is there as well. I am also sure that the gaming friends of Matthew carry him in their hearts everyday. Although the site is different and perhaps the players are too... Matthew continues to touch so many. His friends know him and remember him and cannot forget him. He was just too great to forget and made a mark on so many people's heart. A person with as much as Matthew gave to others and touched within the computer world cannot be forgotten. He lives in so many people. May your thanksgiving bring many blessings to you as so many people remember Matthew!
Sheila Sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
Wildwood, - Thursday, November 27, 2003 10:56 AM CST

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I'm thinking and praying for you always. I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving. I will be saying a special prayer at dinner for you guys.
Love Amy*

Amy’s Fight
Amy Mareck <brownhair25@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 8:37 PM CST

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Hi Debbie and Dirk. Thinking about you tonight. Sending you hugs and strength for the holidays.

www.caringbridge.org/in/brockbarnard
LeeAnn Barnard <lsbarnard@hotmail.com>
Selma, In USA - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 6:44 PM CST

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Hi Debbie,

I am thinking of you and your family as Thanksgiving approaches. I know the holidays are not easy for any of us, but it helps to be surrounded by family & friends. Wishing you the best over this holiday.

Hugs,
Vicki Hoffman ~ Mike Hunter’s Memorial Website <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 12:07 AM CST

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I'm praying for you and your family, this Thansgiving season. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 8:52 AM CST

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Hello Debbie and Dirk and family- I am praying that this thanksgiving holiday brings you peace and comfort as you are surrounded by your family. I continue to think of Matthew and will not let him be forgotten. My prayers are with you this week. I hope all the prayers being said on your behalf fill your heart and bring comfort.
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Wednesday, November 26, 2003 8:33 AM CST

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Hello Debbie and family. I understand all too well your statement at the end of your journal...that "he" is not forgotten. I too find comfort in knowing that so many are following along with your story and all about Matt. I followed so closely as he was in transplant-actually I started before he went to transplant. I cheered from afar. My Robert had the same type of transplant, and Matt was a bit of a hero to him, Robert always wanted to hear Matt's stories and such. It broke my heart to not continue the stories of Matt's journey when things took a turn for the worse. Robert was so sick with transplant that he did not read the pages with me anymore. I hate to think that Robert might be forgotten. It is our greatest fear now. Our GREATEST of fears we have realized-now we never want our children to be 'forgotten'. I am glad to read that you will be busy and in good company for Thanksgiving. That is a blessing. I cannot believe or even begin to understand what is going on in the medical world that seems to be losing so many children. It breaks my heart...take good care, and thank you for sharing your life with us. Kathy
Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel <ckcharlton@aol.com >
- Tuesday, November 25, 2003 8:29 PM CST

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Hi Debbie!
I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your family with Thanksgiving coming up later this week. I hope that you feel Matthew's presence as you gather to celebrate the holiday - I know he'll be there with you! God bless you.
Justine Kessler
Madison, WI - Monday, November 24, 2003 2:49 PM CST

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Just stopped by to let you all know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Our precious angels will never be forgotten, and are missed endlessly!!! You all take care and GOD BLESS. Sending lots of love from above - ANGEL COLBY JAMES COLE AND CREW.
jack - colby's daddy forever and ever
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby, UNIONTOWN PA - Sunday, November 23, 2003 8:34 AM CST

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Just wanted to say that I love you. I think of you all the time. I am so glad that you are my sister.
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, Mo - Friday, November 21, 2003 8:16 PM CST

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"I am still struggling with the memories of that last six weeks on Hospice. "

Me too. Although I wasn't there with you physically, I was there with you in spirit. I lit a candle for Matthew at the National Cathedral in DC a few days after he passed (we live nearby). We do have a long way to go in the fight for childhood cancer. Our kids go through way too much. Child and cancer do not belong in the same sentence.
Colleen
- Friday, November 21, 2003 5:23 PM CST

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Stopping by to say hello and let you know you remain in my prayers. Take care and I will check in again soon.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Friday, November 21, 2003 11:34 AM CST

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Hi Debbie - I have stopped by to see how you and your family are. I am happy to hear that Julie and Christopher are doing well, but I hope that you don't get too exhausted with this new nursing schedule. You have enough to cope with as it is. Sending my kind thoughts and prayers for all of you, including your sweet angel Matthew.
Gloria McShane, BMT-talk <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Darlington, England - Friday, November 21, 2003 2:21 AM CST

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Debbie- just stopping by with a short note to let you know that I am praying for you! I hope today brings some comfort and sunshine.
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, November 20, 2003 8:30 AM CST

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Debbie,
We're always thinking of you and continue to check on you often. Sorry to hear you've been feeling down. Take care of yourself and don't work too hard!!!
Miss you lots!

Love,
Michelle and Chris
Michelle Hallemeier <mmathews74@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Wednesday, November 19, 2003 9:51 AM CST

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Debbie- thank you so much for updating! It is always wonderful to hear from you. What a gift it will be to have Julie and Christopher and Cami home for Thanksgiving. I know you will be missing Matthew, but he will be busy enjoying a huge banquet in heaven! I will be thinking of Matthew and your family and all the other caringbridge families on Thanksgiving. I will give thanks to our God for all that I have learned from you. (I would gladly be uniformed and unknowledgeable in this regard to have your heart not be broken!) I lift you up in prayer for comfort and graces these holidays and remember your unforgettable son who touched and taught so many! May you find peace and joy in your heart!
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Wednesday, November 19, 2003 8:19 AM CST

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Debbie,
It saddens me to here how tough of time you are going through. I continue to check in on your family and I will always wish you well and will continue to pray for your family's healing. Please trust God, as I know you know, that little by little you may feel better. I realize that the loss is something that you will never get over. Just know that people are praying for you.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO - Tuesday, November 18, 2003 11:12 AM CST

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Hi Debbie and Dirk and kids.....just stopped by to check in. Thanks for updating the website....I am always concerned about how you are doing. Great news that Julie will be home! Hugs to you from Indiana!

www.caringbridge.org/in/brockbarnard
LeeAnn Barnard <lsbarnard@hotmail.com>
Selma, IN USA - Monday, November 17, 2003 5:24 PM CST

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Debbie & Dirk,
I still visit Matthew's page often to see how you and Julie & Christopher are doing, but like many others I usually forget to say I was here. I love the photo of Matthews tree, what a beautiful and very fitting color it looks. I understand how hard it is to have those painful last days stick so clearly in your memory. I pray that one day soon the hard memories will fade and leave room to rediscover the Matthew memories from before those final weeks.
Harri <timvdw@kcbbs.gen.nz>
Auckland, New Zealand - Monday, November 17, 2003 0:17 AM CST

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No, you are not forgotten. I think of you often, and continue to lift you in prayer. I hope we get to get together again sometime soon. God bless!
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Sunday, November 16, 2003 9:53 PM CST

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Dear Debbie and family, just dropped in to say hello. I hope you have time to update us soon and let us know how you are getting on.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
uk, - Sunday, November 16, 2003 5:40 PM CST

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Hey Debbie,
Just here to say hi and hope you and your family are having a nice weekend...I think of you and Matt often and just hope that you feel God's love around you...looking forward to an update...all my love to you and your family!

~*~*Girlie's Page*~*~

Hugs & kisses,
XOXOXOXO
Janice <janiceliew1981@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Sunday, November 16, 2003 9:30 AM CST

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Debbie~
You are always in my thoughts and prayers, and I wish I could offer some profound words of comfort. I sincerely hope that your good moments are increasing day by day.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Sunday, November 16, 2003 8:01 AM CST

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Always praying for continued strength for the hard days and whenever you need it. Your never far from my mind.
Love Amy*

Amy’s Fight
Amy Mareck <brownhair25@hotmail.com>
- Friday, November 14, 2003 4:35 PM CST

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Hello Debbie- there are many people praying for you! I hope you can feel the power of it all and have had some okay days. This road you travel is so very hard and truly most of us have no even small ounce of understanding of what you feel. I continue to think of you and pray for you. I continue to reflect on much that you have written and to reflect on Matthew's life and what it has taught me! May God give you comfort!
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
wildwood, - Friday, November 14, 2003 8:24 AM CST

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oh Debbie, I know this cant be easy for you. I wish I could say it will get easier... but I doubt it will
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Thursday, November 13, 2003 12:04 AM CST

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Debbie- thank you for touching me through your words! I think of you and Matthew often!
sheila sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
- Monday, November 10, 2003 8:58 PM CST

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Debbie-I visit your web site often, and all I see is how courageous you are.
Molly Trout Matt <mtmatt@sbcglobal.net>
- Friday, November 7, 2003 11:30 PM CST

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Dear Debbie ~
Chad's final LP is scheduled for Weds. 11-12 and his official OT date is 11-15. My son ends tx in honor of and in memory of Mattthew and all the other angels we have lost to this horrible disease. When we celebrate Chad's victory, we will do so humbly, knowing the pain that we all have been through and that you and other ALL moms continue to bear. I'm saying Matthew's name out loud that day. And I'll be thinking of you as I hug Chad too.
Love always ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, November 7, 2003 8:21 PM CST

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Debbie- I am praying for you and hoping you have had some better days!
Sheila Sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
Wildwood, - Thursday, November 6, 2003 7:26 PM CST

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Debbie - I check in often and forget to sign...I still think of you all often. I will be at the service on the 15th...it will be good to see you all. Hang in there...never forget that you did an amazing job taking care of Matt!!!
Mandy <holthaus_m@kids.wustl.edu>
St Louis, - Wednesday, November 5, 2003 2:09 PM CST

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Debbie-
Thinking of you and praying for you as always.......Please call me if you want to talk. I am always here for you.

Love and hugs-
Alison
mom to Angel Alexandria
www.caringbridge.com/page/alexandriasangels
Alison Haddock <alisonhaddock@charter.net>
O Fallon, MO - Tuesday, November 4, 2003 11:58 PM CST

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Debbie- I continue to think of you often and include you and your family in my almost daily prayers. I hope you are healing and finding some comfort from the many people that care about you and pray for you! I continue to reflect on the heroic attributes of your son! He was quite a young man. Your love of him and your sharing of his story in such a well depicted way leaves alot for me to think about and incorporate into my life.
Sheila Sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
Wildwood, - Monday, November 3, 2003 8:00 PM CST

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I found your website through someone else's, and I've been following it for a while now. I'm not sure why, but Matthew's story has touched me. I work as a BMT nurse, so I do know what all he went through-he must have been so brave. Your love for your whole family is evident, and all your children are lucky to have you as their mother. May you continue to heal as your life continues without one of your children.
Andria <aks623@hotmail.com>
Raleigh, NC - Sunday, November 2, 2003 11:00 AM CST

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Just wanted you to know that I "check in" frequently at your website. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Robin Porzelt
- Saturday, November 1, 2003 11:54 PM CST

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Just thinking of and praying for you today.
God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Friday, October 31, 2003 2:08 PM CST

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I remember.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Thursday, October 30, 2003 5:36 PM CST

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Debbie,
You never cease to get me thinking...I love your updates. I just want you to know that I know it hurts...it's hard.. it's painful...it's too overwhelming...it's just too much... we are all here for you. I think that all of Matthew's questions have been answered now that he's in Heaven...why did he have to be born different from Julie and Christopher...I believe that he now knows the answer. Only, we don't...but you'll find out one day. Sending you and your family lots of love and prayers from Down Under...

~*Girlie's Page*~

All my love & more,
XOXOXOXOXO
Janice <janiceliew1981@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Wednesday, October 29, 2003 9:18 PM CST

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I don't know how I came upon Matthew's page but I have been following along with you for quite some time. I guess that I, being a mother, just felt such compassion for you as well as for what Matthew endured. Life just does not seem fair. I read your journal about the things that Matthew asked you before dying. I can only imagine how much those words bother you now, as well as hurt you back then. You are coping, trying to justify what has happened in your life, in Matthew's short life. One thing that I know just from reading your journal is that Matthew knew ever so much how much he was loved by his family. He never doubted that love!! He felt it in his heart at all times. It's not fair for a child to have to suffer. I don't understand why this has to happen. It just saddens me so much to see a chlid hurt. You, as his mother, hurt right along with him every step of the way.

You have a right to question things. You have a right to feel sad and lonesome. You also have a right to know that Matthew does not suffer any longer. He went into God's kingdom knowing what true LOVE is!! You know, there are alot of people that leave this life on earth not knowing that. There are alot of people on this earth that never give love. Matthew did! So, looking at that perspective, Matthew conquered so much on this earth.

His smile tells us that he is loved, he knows love, he gave love and he was, is and always will be a special person to you as well as to many of us that never even met him. Keep the faith, we care too. God took a true soldier when Matthew went to him.
Sandy Kleinfehn <kleinfehn_mom@hotmail.com>
Melrose, MN - Tuesday, October 28, 2003 5:38 PM CST

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You write so powerfully that I have to catch my breath when I read your words. I feel such tremendous heartache for your loss and Matthew must have really been something. I must say I can feel the deepest sense of love when I read your journal entries. I am sorry that we have never met. I think of you now since I began reading your journal. I found my way to your website via another Caring Bridge sight belonging to someone I know. I just want you to know that I do know some of the pain you describe so eloquently as my father passed away earlier this year, the end of March. I have such great and enormous love for my father and I have never felt such pain as this. So, in part, I have an understanding of how deep my pain runs, I can only imagine yours must be mine tenfold. I sure hope that if I ask God tonight to bring you some peace and comfort, that He will hear me. Because I so want you to have that.
Tracee <TraceeSaltz@mchsi.com>
Des Moines, Ia USA - Monday, October 27, 2003 9:29 PM CST

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Hi Debbie:
I just wanted to let you know how often I think of you, and of Matthew. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Justine Kessler <justinekessler@yahoo.com>
Madison, WI - Monday, October 27, 2003 9:03 AM CST

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Hi Debbie and family. I think of you daily, visit Matthew's website often, and hope that you are all coping as best you can. I have no magic words, only the offer of a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen to you when you need it.
www.caringbridge.org/in/brockbarnard
LeeAnn Barnard <lsbarnard@hotmail.com>
Selma, In USA - Sunday, October 26, 2003 6:47 PM CST

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Debbie--
I saw this poem and thought of you.
Love, Mary

Life's Afterglow
When I am gone, release me, let me go
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears,
Be thankful for our many beautiful years.
I gave to my love. You can only guess
How much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown,
But now it's time I traveled on alone.
So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It's only for a time that we must part
So bless the memories within your heart.
I won't be far away, for life goes on
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near
And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear
All my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
Ill greet you with a smile, and say
"Welcome Home!"
Author unknown



Mary Beck <megrant26@yahoo.com>
st.charles, mo - Saturday, October 25, 2003 10:00 PM CDT

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Debbie,
So glad you are having good days. Matthew would want that for you. Matthew's tree is beautiful!
Alice
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, October 25, 2003 9:56 PM CDT

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Thought about you alot this week and all of the families that have lost children as we put on the Alexandria's Angels Memorial Golf Tournament.

so glad there are good days.....you deserve each and every one!!!!

love and hugs-alison
alison <alisonhaddock@charter.net>
ofallon, mo - Friday, October 24, 2003 11:27 PM CDT

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Just stopped by and saw that you updated right after I visited last. It was nice to see the pictures of your family. I want you to know that you are in my prayers and that I hope that as the days go by that you have more ups than downs. I will check in again soon.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Friday, October 24, 2003 10:04 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie:

I haven't been to Matthew's website in a while, and it was good to see the new family photos. How nice to see the updates! You have a beautiful family. Thinking of you today...

Love, Barbara, Mom to Danny (1987--2002)
http://www.dannyklancher.com/
http://bjreidart.tripod.com/

Barbara Reid <BarbArt@bak.rr.com>
Bakersfield , CA - Thursday, October 23, 2003 12:00 AM CDT

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Debbie- just stopping by to say hello and hoping this beautiful fall weather finds you full of hope!
Sheila Sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
Wildwood, - Monday, October 20, 2003 8:34 PM CDT

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Hi, Debbie & Family. It has been over a month since I've been able to stop by, but I'm slowly catching up on "my CaringBridge families" and have found my way to Matthew's site. It sounds like you have been busy, and the ferry ride to the apple orchard sounds so neat! You make me jealous of apple picking -- today is the best weather day this week in Upstate New York but I can't go apple picking because of Cub Scouts tonight (my husband and I are leaders). I couldn't help but smile, envisioning Matthew trying to eat the apples off the string. I've also done that with donuts -- messier, and no blood (just some choking if they are powdered!).

Well, you take care, and God Bless to your family.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Monday, October 20, 2003 3:15 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
Glad to hear that you are having a few better days. The pictures of your family are wonderful.
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Sunday, October 19, 2003 8:23 PM CDT

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Hello Debbie, thank you for updating Matthew's page. It was nice to read about your family's latest news. I read at the bottom of the page that Erika had helped you with resizing the photos. If you still need any help with this, drop me an E-mail, but looking at the photos, they are lovely as they are now I think. I like Matthew tree. I bet it has grown a lot since the last photo I saw of it on the page.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Sunday, October 19, 2003 6:09 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
It was so great to see an update...the pictures are beautiful too...I was just thrilled to hear you've been having more ups than downs lately...as time goes on, we tend to have more ups...the downs are still there but at least we have the ups to bring us up when we need a good cheering up. I'm so happy for your family...your kids seem to be doing really well. Matthew would've been so proud of all of you...anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of love from Down Under...

~*Girlie's Page*~

All my love,
XOXOXOXO
Janice <janiceliew1981@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Sunday, October 19, 2003 7:15 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie. Great pictures.....I see you're a Vera Bradley fan too! :) I am SO glad to hear that your days are getting a little better......tiny steps we take, I guess. The house looks beautiful....Julie and Brad are very lucky! Hope things continue to go well. Hugs!

www.caringbridge.org/in/brockbarnard
LeeAnn Barnard <lsbarnard@hotmail.com>
Selma, IN USA - Friday, October 17, 2003 11:22 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie - I really liked your new photos and am so glad to read that some good things are happening in your life. Delighted that Julie has a job in her field - I worked in PR and now in journalism, and those jobs are never as easy to get as one in, say, IT. Good luck to her and to your family, and my kind thoughts and prayers for all of you and for your angel Matthew. Your web friends and supporters are still out here!
Love, Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Darlington, England - Thursday, October 16, 2003 10:06 AM CDT

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Debbie- what a great update you gave! I am so glad you have had some better days. I really enjoyed the pictures of Julie and Brad, and Cami and Christopher! Thank you for continuing to share your story with us even when it is difficult. I continue to think of Matthew often and lift your family up in prayer!
Sheila Sellenriek
Wildwood, - Wednesday, October 15, 2003 8:52 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie! I was glad to finally see an update, I was starting to get a bit worried about you. Sounds like you've been keeping busy, I know that helps some. I continue to lift you in prayer. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) <www.caringbridge.org/il/legoman>
- Wednesday, October 15, 2003 6:19 PM CDT

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Dearest Debbie ~
Every time I read another journal entry of yours, my eyes fill with tears because your sorrow and sense of loss are still so painful. But then I look at the photos you share with us and I can't help but smile! Matthew trying so hard to bite the apple on the string.......beautiful grown up Matthew at Hawn Park.......red-headed smiling Matthew! I love the photos that you share here and I am so grateful that you continue to do so. Thank you.
I do believe that all of our prayers are heard and answered. Sadly, selfishly, I wish His answer could always be YES. But I know there are reasons that He must sometimes answer, NO. But He does hear us, and He does answer. Is it always the answer we want to hear? No. Why did He take Matthew from us? Why? We don't know, we don't understand, it's too painful to cope. One day, we WILL know why......but it's so hard to be patient and to have faith that we will be reunited with our loved ones and all of our questions will be answered. I will never claim to understand your feelings of pain. I hope to never, ever walk in your shoes. But I love you. And I do keep you and Dirk in my prayers. And I pray for peace and strength and love for both of you always. My heart will always be with you. And I will remember Matthew forever and I don't take sunshine or laughter or tickles for granted any more.
Sending big hugs {{{{{Debbie}}}}} from afar ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, October 14, 2003 10:26 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie and family, just dropped in to say hello. I know guestbooks don't tend to get a huge number of entries unless there is a new update, so I thought I'd pop a note in. I really like the border of Matthews page. The autumn leaves remind me of his ginger hair. A perfect choice.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Monday, October 13, 2003 11:32 AM CDT

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Stopping by to let you know that your family remains in my prayers.
Maria
NJ - Sunday, October 12, 2003 4:12 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
I came across your dear Matthew's webpage while doing a search on ALL-Kids. Your journal touched my heart more than I can tell you. I read the whole thing, and just wanted to post in your guestbook before leaving. Your dear sweet Matthew was an amazing brave boy, and so handsome too. I can't say that I feel your pain, no one can, and God forbid we never have to. You are just as amazing as Matthew. I hope you don't mind me saying that I cried and cried as I read your touching, loving account of your journey with Matthew. He was very lucky to have you for a mother and caretaker. Your whole family seems very kind and loving. May your Christopher and Julie continue to make you as proud as you must be of them.

My little grandson Andrew was diagnosed with ALL August 6, 2003. His parents are strong in their faith, but it breaks my heart to know that the journey ahead will be long and hard. We are all optimistic but I also know that all the prayers in the world will bring "His will". I only pray that God and I are on the same page.

Thank you for sharing your dear Matthew's life with us on this site. I will remember you and your family in my prayers Debbie.
Love, Janice Grandma to: www.caringbridge.org/ca/andrew




Janice <jannield@comcast.net>
Costa Mesa, CA Orange - Saturday, October 11, 2003 11:52 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
Just stopping by to check in on you and say hello.
I hope your visit with your daughter and son in law was wonderful. You will have to put up a pic of their new home.
You take care, and hang in there. I think of you and Matt often.
Love,
Judy
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il United States - Saturday, October 11, 2003 3:07 AM CDT

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Debbie- just stopping by to let you know that you are always in my prayers. I did not know Matthew but just from your journaling he has impacted my life and I think of him and your family often. I hope today has been a better day of seeing God's love around you!
Sheila Sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
Wildwood, MO - Thursday, October 9, 2003 11:31 PM CDT

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Debbie, I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I see people who are convinced prayers saved them/their child, and it just makes me wonder why cant it work for everyone.... what makes one person better/different/luckier/more special than the next.... sigh. Just more added to the list of questions we'll probably never get answers to....
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Thursday, October 9, 2003 8:24 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
I can understand the wondering. It is such huge thing to let go of and try to trust the understandings that were made clear in our hearts during that time. I too wonder, what if what I thought was my best .... wasn't. But to my rescue comes the recollections of those undeniable experiences that confirmed then,that what we did was the best thing, and then comes that huge letting go, and that even bigger challenge of trusting, I hope peace and strength for you. You are wonderful. Love, Robyn
caringbridge.com/ca/quito
- Wednesday, October 8, 2003 10:59 AM CDT

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Debbie & Dirk - We just want you to know that we still think of you & remember Matt & all that you & he went through.
Dean & Diana Bright & Family
Bridgeton, MO - Tuesday, October 7, 2003 6:32 AM CDT

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Debbie and Dirk- I am praying that you have a better day today!
Sheila Sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
Wildwood, MO - Monday, October 6, 2003 7:52 AM CDT

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Hello Debbie- I have been out of town for 2 weeks and was eager to get back and check in on you and Dirk. I hope your trip to Atlanta was warm and lovely. I am sure it was great to see Julie and Brad. On our trip back in the country, we had a lay-over in Atlanta and I thought of you and your family. I continue to think of Matthew and pray for strength and comfort for you. One day we will come to understand the whys of this life. It will make sense then, but is horribly hard to understand now. I know that your faith helps to carry you through. It is the only thing that makes sense, and even then it is hard. I will pray that you are given some peace that only God can do.
Sheila Sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
Wildwood, MO - Saturday, October 4, 2003 9:25 PM CDT

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Hello Debbie, please don't feel bad for telling us that you miss Matthew. It's not repetitive, annoying or boring to us. It just reminds us of how much he was, and still is, loved.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Thursday, October 2, 2003 4:37 PM CDT

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Debbie,
Just wanted to touch base and let you know that I am here and always praying for you. I don't always sign in like I should, but I'm here checking on you and praying for you each day.

Always remembering "our" Matthew!!!

Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, October 2, 2003 1:14 PM CDT

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Praying for you tonight.
HWS
- Wednesday, October 1, 2003 10:36 PM CDT

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HI Debbie. Checking in with you. Hugs from Indiana!
Check Brock's website for our latest journey......
www.caringbridge.org/in/brockbarnard
LeeAnn Barnard <lsbarnard@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, September 28, 2003 5:59 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,

Stopped by for a visit to see how you and the family are doing. My thoughts are with you as I know how hard the days, weeks, months, and years ahead are. Of course, my perspective as a sibling, not a parent. So I guess I really can't imagine what you are going through, but I do see my mom's pain...and it is heartbreaking.

I ran across this quote and thought that I would share it with you. "As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on -- in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here ... Death ends a life, not a relationship." from Tuedays With Morrie.

Continue to keep Matthew close to your heart. Those lost are with us at all times, if we just let them.

Hugs,
Vicki Hoffman <www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike>
Anaheim, CA - Sunday, September 28, 2003 12:38 AM CDT

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hi debbie and dirk,we have been thinking of you. patrick reads your site often and he too sends his love. i remember going for apples with the family when we lived out there.say hell'o to julie and chris for us. you are always in my prayers. love sue
susan fackler <soccermom121@rcn.com>
whitehall, pa united states - Friday, September 26, 2003 12:38 AM CDT

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Hello Debbie, It's late and I am unwinding from the working the evening shift. I thought I would check in on how you all are doing. I can not say I understand how you feel but I sure wish there was something I could do to help. We think of you and Matthew often and miss him too. We went to Eckert's last weekend and picked apples. It was a real pretty day. Best enjoy them while they last! You are in our prayers. Take care. Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, - Friday, September 26, 2003 1:10 AM CDT

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Hello Debbie,

Matthew continues to come to mind and you all continue to be in my prayers. Don’t try to put a “time line” on your grief, Matthew will ALWAYS be with you. I just pray that soon the memories of him will all be happy ones and the sad times of his illness will fade, at least a little. My little brother died at the age of 7, 45 years ago, and I still think of him so I know that Matthew will NEVER leave your heart and thoughts!!

I think I wrote the beginning of the year that my cousin had been diagnosed with Leukemia last fall. Dan Dohack died on August 3rd at St. Louis University hospital at the age of 48. He left his wife Sarah, and their three daughters. Dan is missed more than words can say – I take comfort in knowing that he too is in the arms of our Loving Lord. Your post about your bike ride made me think of Dan because he worked for Missouri Pacific Railroad as a conductor before his illness.

Enjoy your trip to Atlanta to see Julie and Brad!! This is a nice time of year for Georgia and I know being with them makes you happy. May God continue to bless you, Debbie, and bring you His peace!

Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA - Sunday, September 21, 2003 5:55 AM CDT

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Just stopped by to say hello and that I think of Matthew and you and your family often.
God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Saturday, September 20, 2003 11:59 AM CDT

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Debbie,
I stop by often, but I don't always sign. Please forgive me. I want you to know that I continue to pray for you and your family through these hard times. The pictures are very sweet of Matthew. I'm glad that you have your trip to Julie's to look forward to. God Bless and take care.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Friday, September 19, 2003 9:58 AM CDT

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Debbie-- thank you so much for updating. I always look forward to your entries...you always share good wisdom! I think that you are exactly where you should be in your process of grief. There is no right place to be at and you are where you are for a reason. I continue to learn so much from you and your sharing of Matthew. I hope I can raise my three children as well as you have. They are all beautiful and smart children. You are blessed to have them in your life for however long. I await the day that we all meet in Our Heavenly Father's kingdom. I will continue to pray for you and Dirk. I wish I could do more for you!
Sheila Sellenriek
- Thursday, September 18, 2003 9:42 PM CDT

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Debbie,
Please don't hesitate to write to us. You will never "be over" the loss of Matthew. And when you really think about it, would you even want to be?! Grief is a long, long process and you are really only at the beginning. So, please, write to us as often as you'd like.
About the questions..."Didn't I pray hard enough? Didn't I pray right?" I think we've all struggled with that. I just force myself to trust God. Somehow, for some reason, God did not intervene to save Matthew. But I believe that when we get to Heaven God will explain to us his reasoning. And I would even go so far as to say, that I think we will agree that his decision was best even though to say that now seems un-imaginable.
God Bless you,
Caroline Gallucci <carolinew@hardingrace.com>
Benton, AR - Thursday, September 18, 2003 5:22 PM CDT

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I absolutely love the pictures! Particularly the school pics that show Matt growing through the years, those were nice to see. I think of you often and hope your pain is beginning to subside and the memories have flooded you with joy.
Vicki Cooper <victoriastl@hotmail.com>
St Louis, MO - Thursday, September 18, 2003 11:56 AM CDT

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Praying for you. I love the pictures. Matthew was so lucky to be so well-loved! He was clearly such a happy child. I pray you will feel God's presence and comfort as you continue on your earthly journey without Matthew physically by your side.
Kristen Grossman
St. Louis, MO - Thursday, September 18, 2003 11:17 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie:

I stop by Matthew’s website daily and although I am just a visitor from afar, I wanted to say hello and hope you don’t mind my commenting on a couple items you mentioned. Firstly, I don’t think there will be a time when you or your family will ever “get over” the loss of Matthew and why should you? He was your child and also a very special person who touched many lives, including mine. And as you have indicated, life is so not fair and very random (unfortunately) no matter how much any of us pray or love someone. Of course you prayed enough. My thoughts continue with you and I pray that you will find peace someday to replace the pain and sorrow. Take care.

Jean Bass <jbass@cbburnet.com>
Minneapolis, MN USA - Thursday, September 18, 2003 10:44 AM CDT

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Debbie,

Although we have never met, I do check the website weekly. I rarely sign in though. Losing a child is not anything you will ever get over. It is very normal for you to have some good days and some bad days. Not that I think losing my mother compares, but I was only 12 years old when my mother passed away. I am now 34 years old and I still have some very bad days. The way you are feeling is very normal. I will continue to pray for you to take each day one day at a time.
Betty <bhepp@imca.org>
Denver, CO - Thursday, September 18, 2003 10:27 AM CDT

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Debbie,
Please know that my thoughts and prayers and always with you. Even though we have never met, I feel like I've known you for quite a while. And, I never get tired of hearing you say you are sad. I just don't know how you do what you do. I would just be so devastated all the time. You need a place to go and vent your feelings and this is what this place is for! And, that is what we are here for, to listen (read) and to write back and try to support you the best way we can. Please don't feel bad for having bad days or crying all day. I would probably be doing the same, or more. I believe each person has to handle their grief their own way - it's not a time line to follow. You just get by the best way you know how and just know that I care and I will always be here for you and praying for you and remembering Matthew.
Cindy Crider <ccrider@atctx.com>
Houston, TX USA - Thursday, September 18, 2003 10:25 AM CDT

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Debbie -- Although I seldom sign your guest book, I have been following your journey for quite a while. You always remain in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I lived closer, so I could give you a big hug when you are having one of your down days. God Bless You, and know that Matt is watching over you.
Linda
Pittsburgh, PA - Thursday, September 18, 2003 9:23 AM CDT

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Hi Deb
This is Laurie(Kaleigh's Mom from ALL KIDS) I check the webpage often, and keep you and your family in my prayers. I think of Matthew daily. I love the pictures you put up. What a cute kid Matthew is!! Thinking of you. If you need anything please let me know.
HUGS
Laurie
Laurie Koch <mlkttk@aol.com>
Noblesville, In - Thursday, September 18, 2003 8:19 AM CDT

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I cannot imagine the pain and emotions you are experiencing, nor do I think losing a child is something anyone expects you to "get over". I also don't think anyone expects to check in one day soon to find you "all better". We do keep checking in though, to let you know that you and your family are in our constant thoughts and prayers and that Matthew will never be forgotten!
HWS <hsherrer@bellsouth.net>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, September 17, 2003 11:33 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie and Dirk. Just checking in. Hope to see an update soon.
Hugs.
www.caringbridge.org/in/brockbarnard
LeeAnn Barnard <lsbarnard@hotmail.com>
Selma, IN USA - Wednesday, September 17, 2003 5:28 PM CDT

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Reading your last posting was really hard, but so true. I guess your feelings hit too close to home for me. My little girl should be here to start first grade. Just no way to express the sadness.
Janet Sims, www.caringbridge.org/al/janiesims
Birmingham, Al - Wednesday, September 17, 2003 2:39 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
Thinking of you today, hope you are finding good memories and knowing the peace that passes understanding. Your post are so touching that all though the first feelings are sadness and a broken heart, the ones that stay with me are of courage and hope. I hope you write a book to share with more. Love, Robyn
caringbridge.com/ca/quito
- Wednesday, September 17, 2003 11:13 AM CDT

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Hello. It has been way too long since I've stopped by; sorry for that. Your posts are always so heartwarming. Even though I can tell you are sad (as you should be), I do enjoy hearing the stories. I agree that the elderly woman you met at work was put in your path for a reason. Also, it was ironic that the person from Australia posted on the day you were putting pictures of Australia on the website. Another coincidence? Most likely not!

I continue to think of you and your family. And of Matthew -- no reason to forget him -- he left quite an impression on me!!!!

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 10:07 PM CDT

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Dear Dirk and Debbie:
It has been way too long since we have been in contact. We have imagined that this summer was so very difficult for you passing that sad first anniversary milestone. The mother of Katie's best friend that was killed in a car accident told Kate that the first anniversary was so hard because it made Amy seem even further away and that now she couldn't say "last year" when she was referring to Amy. I was wondering if that was how you were feeling as well. I want to ask a favor. I am writing a lecture which includes leukemia and I was thinking that it would be good to show the students the caring bridge website and explain what a wonderful tool it is for families and patients to communicate during their journey through tough times. Would it be ok to show them Matthew's site as an example. You articulate your feelings so powerfully that I know it would impact them. Let me know just email me at slspicer@hargray.com. I can understand your dilemma about work. Maybe God will open new doors in a setting that is not so closely connected with everything you experienced with Matthew. Glad to hear Julie and Brad are doing well. We are still wishing for you to make an extended visit to them, one that can include a detour down our way. We would love that! We pray that God will continue to hold you, carry you, and comfort you. George and Sherri
sherri spicer <slspicer@hargray.com>
Bluffton, sc - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 8:00 PM CDT

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Just checking in to let you know that you remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 8:28 AM CDT

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Debbie- I am so sorry that your heart is broken and aches for your Matthew. I cannot fully know your pain, but try to imagine and I am so sorry for you. I continue to pray for you and Dirk and offer up many prayers for you to find some comfort and joy. I think of Matthew so very often! May God continue to pour His graces upon you, and may you feel His touch.
Sheila Sellenriek
- Monday, September 15, 2003 11:10 PM CDT

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Sorry to hear you are down and I know nothing I can say could lift your spirits. You're right, it isn't fair, but know at least that neither you, nor Matthew, nor your family has left my thoughts.


Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Monday, September 15, 2003 2:14 PM CDT

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Debbie-
Just a note to let you know I was thinking of you. The pictures of Matt are so adorable. He is so sweet! The story of him making the scene in class is quite cute. And through the years he didnt seem to change because he could always make me laugh. He also made the best lemonade I have ever tasted. We are blessed to have had Matthew in our lives, but on the other hand Matthew was so lucky to have you and Dirk.(its true)
Mary Beck <megrant26@yahoo.com>
st.charles, mo - Saturday, September 13, 2003 10:20 PM CDT

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Hello. My name is Marty. My Matthew is 10 now and we just read your web page about your Matthew. Matt and I and his older brother, Nikolas, were very touched by Matthews story. We all agree that he sounded like a fighter....That he gave it his all. Thank you for sharing your story about Matthew. I, sometimes daily, remind them both how blessed they are...That they have their health and many that love them so much.
God Bless...and God speed to all of your family and loved ones.

Nikolas, Matthew, and Marty Flagg
Crestwood, Mo.
Marty Flagg <mflagg80@msn.com>
Crestwood, MO USA - Wednesday, September 10, 2003 10:45 PM CDT

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The Lord put you on my heart today and I wanted to stop by and just tell you I love you. I know it must be so incredibly difficult being a nurse and having to endure all those things you mentioned. Even though losing a parent is nothing like losing a child, it still brings up the emotions of grief. I read the poem on top of your site again today and it reminded me of my own grief journey. There are times when I just burst into tears for, seemingly, no reason at all. Grieving IS a life long process. Thank goodness that there is an end to it and it happens when we all meet in heaven. That seems so far off some days...Please know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and that won't change. Hugs and lots of love to you. I will check back again soon.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Wednesday, September 10, 2003 12:26 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie
I too am a nurse and took a year off after a loss of a family member from cancer. It is hard to give when the well is dry. I found joy again in nursing in a new setting outside the hospital first in a clinic and then in a school.I wish for you the same. Nursing is much more than a job we all know. Take some time for you. Praying for your peace and good memories to sustain you.
Jeanine
VA - Tuesday, September 9, 2003 9:05 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
I think there are computers in heaven. And, from what I've read and heard about the afterlife, all of the things we like to surround ourselves with are available to us there.
There is another mother I know who was a nurse before her daughter (with CML) died following a bone marrow transplant. We were at the same hospital and her daughter passed away a week before my son died. They had both just turned 20 years old the month before while in the hospital. In fact, her daughter and my son had the same exact life span because the young lady was a week older than my son and died a week before he did. They were the 2 youngest patients on the BMT unit at the time. I called Mary Beth last year and she said she couldn't go back to nursing after that. She was driving a bus; something she did before being a nurse.
I am still working at the University where my son, Steven, was going to college and it is hard seeing all of the students here and he is not among them. I miss him so much.
This month is Leukemia and Lymphoma Awareness month and I am going to try to participate in our Light The Night Walk later this month. Last Fall I was still too devastated to even try. In Montgomery, AL ours is on September 25th and for anyone who is not familiar with it Light the Night is a nationwide evening walk to celebrate and commemorate lives touched by cancer. Funds raised support the mission to cure blood cancers and improve the quality of life of patients and their families. The website is www.lightthenight.org
Take care and best wishes. Thank you for sharing your journal Debbie. We love you.
Steven's Mom http://www.reddlegg.com/Leukemia_info.htm
Ann <ahart@troyst.edu>
Troy, AL USA - Tuesday, September 9, 2003 1:35 PM CDT

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Thank you for taking the time to sign in Robert's guestbook. Funny I have been thinking so much this week of how I miss hearing Robert say my favorite word..."Mom". It is not fair how life taunts us with its rain and cold and dark days...the sun should always shine for us, the moon always be full and bright! Doesn't the world know that is the least it could do for us! I think of you often...I followed so closely with Matthew's journey, maybe because my son was right behind him in transplant, maybe because my youngest is a blond blue-eyed Matthew as well...never the less, it is with your journey and pain I identify the most. Strange sort of kindred spirits. That is why it touched my heart so to see your posting. They are all so special, but like the one from Australia, it just struck a chord. I pray for sunshine and more happy memories and times for you and your family. Take good care, Kathy
Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel
West Palm Beach , FL - Tuesday, September 9, 2003 7:33 AM CDT

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Thinking of you all and sharing in your pain and emptiness. May GOD grant you the peace and serenity which you so need. Sending lots of love from above - ANGEL COLBY JAMES COLE AND CREW.
jack - colby's daddy forever and ever
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby, UNIONTOWN PA - Monday, September 8, 2003 10:23 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie, thinking of you and your family and angel Matthew. You must feel the loss of him so acutely. I am sure he'll have persuaded God to update the heavenly computer network
Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Darlington, England - Monday, September 8, 2003 7:00 PM CDT

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Debbie~
Just dropping in to say a quick hello. I can't begin to imagine the constant barrage of emotions that you must feel as a mother in your position, and even though we've never met or spoken a single word, I feel so bad that you are suffering. I'll continue to wish for a few brighter moments today, and everyday for you.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Monday, September 8, 2003 1:30 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
I just wanted to come by and say hi...I know you are missing Matthew so much...life is so unfair. Today is the 1st anniversary of my mom in Heaven and I just keep wondering, why her, why her, why her? There are reminders constantly in my everyday life of her battle with cancer.. and it is so hard to think of her last weeks here with us and for it not to hurt. It is virtually impossible. I know you must feel the same with Matthew..I just pray that God be with you and your family always...I, too, wonder if there are computers in Heaven..I hope so. Mom would LOVE all the messages for her in her guestbook..anyway, I'm thinking of you and your family..

~*Girlie's Page*~
~*Janice's Page*~

Love,
XOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Monday, September 8, 2003 8:48 AM CDT

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HEllo again. I thought I would update you about me. GOod news--my cancer hasn't spread and hasn't grown for 7 whole months and I'm doing treatment again (Good b/c I was worried when we weren't able to do much for awhile). I wanted to tell you and that you are in my thoughts and prayers!
Rachel Baumgartner, age 20 <obsessedwithlife@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, September 7, 2003 2:02 AM CDT

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Debbie, I am so sorry you are feeling down but how else can we feel. It is soooo hard at this time of year. Our Matt's should be starting school - your Matt, a senior and my Matt, a freshman. I am like you, thinking of all the things that should have been... I hope you are able to find some peace this year...perhaps in a different job. I have been finding some solace in doing things that honor Matt's memory - building the playground in mexico, planting a tree as a memorial at his school. I know it is hard for you not to have your children near you. Maybe there is something new for you out there? Please know that I pray daily for you and your family.
Noelle Conover <Matthew's Website
">nconover@sgi.net
Matthew's Website
>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Thursday, September 4, 2003 6:12 PM CDT

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Debbie and famly, I am not sure how to follow such an amazing entry from Susie. I just wanted to let you know that I admire your courage for carrying on with your job. It must take great bravery on your behalf. I know that people don't realise what you go through day-to-day, working with all of those reminders of Matthew, but we all know that Matthew fought his leukemia with down to earth, human courage. It is obvious to us all that you share his courage, especially today and all of the days that you feel the most down and miss him the most.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
uk, - Thursday, September 4, 2003 6:46 AM CDT

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Debbit,
I check your website at least a couple of times a week. I realize when there are no entries that you are busy and I remind myself that this is a good thing, even if it's so hard much of the time. I won't even pretend to know what it feels like to be in your situation because I simply do not. But I must tell you that you have taught all of us so much about human compassion and you frequently gently remind us to cherish our kids, which one can never be reminded too often to remember what incredible gifts they truly are. They are still amazing gifts, even if they are waiting in heaven, but not just "waiting". I imagine they are having a grand time with perfect bodies that don't fail them and cause them pain. Even when you feel your lowest, which I know from my own parents having lost my sister when she was 23, it takes time. It takes a great deal of time. But I must tell you that eventually they were able to find their collective joy again. When I gave birth to the only two grandchildren they will ever have, my now being an only child, they delighted and doted on them in such a fashion that my kids are so dearly spoiled, in the finest possible way, from being the recipient of so much love that they have in their hearts and so readily share. My kids are now 16 1/2 and my oldest just turned 20! My parents have been there all along providing so much love, patience and understanding and, most of all, reminding me often of what a gift these two wonderful almost grown children are to me. I feel certain you will soon have new avenues to share this love which is so evidently a part of your intrinsic being. Unfortunately, the time it takes to grow towards healing doesn't happen overnight, but my parents are living proof that it does happen. And in doing so, it never once diminshed but in fact enhanced the love they still feel and cherish borne of the their first child that is now in heaven watching over all of us. You and your husband are doing a fantastic job. Even on the days when things feel low and you wonder how you're ever going to get through the day. New opportunities will arise and Matthew will be in heaven rejoicing at your happiness. Love, by it's very nature, is never diminished when it is shared. Matthew is cheering you on. And I have no doubt he is celebrating that you and your husband were the very parents he would have chosen to be his parents.

Please know that we think often of you and pray daily for rays of sunshine, even with the approach of fall, that things will become easier in time.

Much love and courage to you. You're so much stronger than you could possibly realize. You both are an inspiration to so very many. Your son will never, ever be forgotten. He knows that, perhaps even better than you right now.

Susie
Susie Parker <suzyp2660@aol.com>
Wilmington, NC US - Wednesday, September 3, 2003 11:41 PM CDT

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Debbie,
I think of and pray for you everyday and check your page to see how you are doing. My Matthew (William Matthew) is turning nine years old Sept. 18. He makes me think of your Matthew often and we pray for him. Debbie, I believe our Lord and Savior is coming to take us all home soon. I hold on to that thought trying to make it through this crazy world, knowing the best is yet to come. Personally, I don't think it is going to be very long before you see your precious Matthew again. And, what a homecoming that will be! Please take care and know that a lot of people pray and think of you often.
Cindy Crider
Houston, TX USA - Wednesday, September 3, 2003 4:04 PM CDT

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Debbie ~ just want you to know I prayed for you today.
God bless,
Lisa Agee <www.caringbridge.com/page/ross>
Camden, AL - Wednesday, September 3, 2003 2:37 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and empathising with what you are feeling. Some days it is just so hard to keep going. The memories of the times shared, and the realities of the times not realized together are sometimes just so hard to bear. My youngest started his senior year and everything I am doing with him is such a reminder of his brother, I have so many mixed emotions all at once. Ryan was diagnosed at the start of his senior year so even when Sean gets an unpset stomach or doesn't feel well I start to panic and worry. I just keep hoping tomorrow will be a better day. Hoping your tomorrow is a bit better.
Roberta Kishbaugh
- Wednesday, September 3, 2003 1:52 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
I am sorry you are down and my heart aches for you as I read your journal. I cannot feel the depth of your grief, but I certainly can try to understand how deep it must be. Matthew should be doing all of the things you mention in your journal and I am so sorry he is not here to do them. I will pray for you, that as time passes the grief can become less raw, and more manageable, even though I know it never goes away. Please take care of yourself.
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, September 3, 2003 1:44 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie!
I just wanted to reach out and give you a "cyber-hug." Thinking of you!
Justine Kessler
Madison, WI - Wednesday, September 3, 2003 10:16 AM CDT

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Debbie -
Thinking of you...
I can relate a bit to what you were saying about nor being sure nursing is a good thing for you right now. I have not yet gone back to work because I am not sure I can emotionally handle working with cancer patients right now. Eventhough Andrew is doing well, every day I still remember the ups and downs of the last 23 months and I remember all those we have "met" in the process, both patients and caregivers. Over half of the patients we have "met" have now died and my heart is so heavy for their caregivers -- their families -- you. I know that I am not yet ready to go back because I think the flashbacks of emotions would overwhelm me.
Keeping you in prayer and remembering....
Susan
Susan Colletti <ascolletti@juno.com>
Springfield, VA - Tuesday, September 2, 2003 10:47 PM CDT

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Just checking in before calling it a night. Just finished laundry and dishes. I wish that I was closer and could see you more often. Please know that you are welcome to road trip to Rolla anytime. We would love to have you come for a day or a weekend. Much love, kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Tuesday, September 2, 2003 10:10 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie- not a day goes by that I don't think of you and Dirk and Matthew! He was such an incredible kid...he had to be to endure all that he did and to only have such a short time on earth with you! Won't eternity be incredible to spend with Matthew and to forever forget our short time on earth. I continue to pray for you, Debbie.
Sheila Sellenriek
Wildwood, MO - Tuesday, September 2, 2003 9:42 PM CDT

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Stopping by to send big HUGS to you {{{{{Debbie}}}}
My boys are back in school and I can't tell you how many times I thought of you and Matthew as we were preparing for the new school year to start. I remember how difficult it was for you last year to see all the school supplies on sale and knowing Matthew was not here with us. My heart aches for you and your continued sense of loss and pain. I can only imagine how difficult some days without Matthew must be for your family. {{{{{Debbie}}}}}
Keeping you all in my prayers always ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, September 2, 2003 9:26 PM CDT

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I often come by the site, just to 'check in'. I enjoy looking at the photos of Matthew through the years - always smiling. It just epitomises the kind of young man he was.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
uk, - Tuesday, September 2, 2003 4:58 PM CDT

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Two years and almost three months later, still i think of you, still it can make me cry. We all miss you Zof, it just isn't the same. Hope the family is doing well, my heart goes out to you.
Benjamin Feldtman <Kainesmail@bigpond.com>
Drysdale, VIC Australia - Monday, September 1, 2003 5:56 AM CDT

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You and your family have been on my mind a lot and I wanted you to know you're in my thoughts and my heart. I hope things are going a little better for you these days! I miss hearing from you. I keep checking Matts site to see how your family is doing. Love you,
Barb Cary
Barbara Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, Ca USA - Sunday, August 31, 2003 8:25 AM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know that I was checking in on you. You are in my thoughts all throughout the day. Love you! Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Wednesday, August 27, 2003 9:46 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie......just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you today. Came by to gaze into "our" boy's eyes and say a prayer. Hoping you are getting by as best as you can. I so wish I was closer...so we could chat! Take care and I'll be back soon. God bless you all!!
Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, August 27, 2003 11:32 AM CDT

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Debbie- just stopping by to check on you and your family. although i have not met you, i feel like i have. i took my kids swimming last weekend and was watching some teens play in the pool and thought of your Matthew. i thought that he should be doing all this stuff with his friends, but sadly he is not.....yet he is in total ecstacy in heaven with Jesus. some day we will all get to meet him. i am praying for you and hoping that your days are getting better. may God bless you!
Sheila Sellenriek
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 9:24 AM CDT

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Thinking of you again today; hope it hasn't been too bad. I'll be praying for you this week. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 5:51 PM CDT

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Thinking of you all, today as always. I often come to visit, but don't always have the words to explain why. I hope that the knowledge that I am remembering Matthew from day to day can help you in some small way.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Sunday, August 24, 2003 6:01 PM CDT

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You were on my heart today and I wanted to stop by and let you know that my prayers for you never cease. I know things have to be extremely difficult for you. I'm no expert on grief, however, I have experienced personally that when someone suffers for a while before their death, those memories tend to be extremely vivid before I begin to remember the "before" times. I will be praying that the Lord give you some "before" memories to go along with all those difficult ones that you have of Matthew's suffering. Blessings and please don't hesitate to call on me if there's anything more I can do besides pray. Much love in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Saturday, August 23, 2003 6:39 PM CDT

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Debbie and the Hallemeier family,

Thanks for sharing Matthew's life with others. Thank you for also sharing your faith in God with me today. I'm glad that it's truly okay to cry. It's always okay.

Your family is in my prayers,
love,
jennifer
Jennifer <callahanjennifer@netscape.net>
Tempe, AZ USA - Saturday, August 23, 2003 2:29 AM CDT

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Stopping by to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
N. Cape May, NJ - Friday, August 22, 2003 11:55 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
I just wanted to apologise for not coming by earlier...I still do check in even though I don't have the time to sign in...I thoroughly enjoyed your update and just wanted to thank you for sharing more of Matthew. Reading your update, I just had to agree with you when you said you find it hard to remember Matthew before he was diagnosed.. I find myself in the same position towards my mom... when I think of her before she was diagnosed with cancer, I find that I have to think harder and look harder for those times...her journey was rough and tough and it sticks out in my memory even more than the memories of her before she was diagnosed. The last 2 weeks of her life sticks out even more. I look at it and think "at least we have those memories"...deep in our heart, we know exactly what our loved ones were throughout their lives and we hold on to that. I can tell through your updates and through Matthew's history that he was an amazing, remarkable boy.. what a lucky woman you are to have had him as your son and how lucky he was to have you as his mom. Never forget that! Keeping you and your family in my prayers always..

~*Girlie's Page*~
~*Janice's Page*~

Love,
XOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Friday, August 22, 2003 7:15 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie! I feel so blessed to finally get to meet you in person. (I sort of feel that I already knew you) I only wish we could have become friends under different circumstances. I'm sorry you've had a difficult week. I wonder if we always will? I think of you often, and continue to pray for you daily. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 1:18 PM CDT

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Just signing to say I dropped by.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Wednesday, August 20, 2003 11:59 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
Just checking in to see how everyone is doing and to let you know I was thinking of you. I hope that someday you truly will have a "happy" face on and that you can honestly say you are doing fine, until then I hope you have an "ok" day every once in a while.
Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester , MO - Wednesday, August 20, 2003 11:23 AM CDT

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I don't think that you can ever "get over" the loss of a child. I come here often to hear your stories of your handsome son. I hate leukemia with a vengence. although it did not take my daughter, it takes so many. I attended a funeral today of a 15 year old boy who lost the fight after a 6 year battle to ALL. he should have been one of the kids who were in the so called 85% that are " cured". he relaped twice, the first when he was 4 years out of treatment and then again 18 months after a BMT. He underwent a second BMT and was doing great and looking forward to coming home when an infection set in and took his life very quickly. It is so heartbreaking to think of all the kids who are robbed from there families, your son included. I pray for all of you and I pray for a cure.
Debby Roberts.............................http://www.caringbridge.org/oh/emilyroberts/
- Tuesday, August 19, 2003 11:20 PM CDT

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Hello. I can imagine how empty the house must seem when your kids are away. Thank goodness you get frequent visits (AND that it is still summer vacation).

Thanks for sharing Matt's post to the gaming community. He still amazes me.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Tuesday, August 19, 2003 12:53 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and your family always. Still praying for strength.
Love always Amy*

Amy’s Fight
Amy Mareck
- Monday, August 18, 2003 9:55 AM CDT

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debbie,
thinking of you today. yesterday we stopped by Matt's grave. it is so peaceful, time kind of stands still while you are there. you are in my thoughts and prayers. talk to you soon.
mary <megrant26@yahoo.com>
st.charles, mo - Saturday, August 16, 2003 12:06 AM CDT

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I was just visiting Matthew's page again to check for an update and it amazes me how many new names have signed in Matthew's guestbook. I think that the caringbridge family has grown a great deal since we lost Matthew, and I believe that many of the people who visit and sign some of the kids' sites today, do so because they have followed your family through your journey. It is a very brave thing for you to share Matthew with us but he has inspired so much kindness in many of the people who sign the caringbridge guestbooks. Thank you Hallemeiers, and especially Matthew, for being so brave.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Friday, August 15, 2003 5:14 PM CDT

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I hope that things get better for you hun... if I could, I would take away your pain... hang in there... Laura
caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Friday, August 15, 2003 11:50 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
Thanks for continuing to write in your online journal. I haven't been able to write on ours since my husband died from AML. I'm not sure why ...
I just want you to know I was thinking about you and feeling sad for both of us.
Nancy Tatum ... (www.machleukemia.homestead.com) <nancytatum@yahoo.com>
- Friday, August 15, 2003 11:18 AM CDT

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Touch Of An Angel



I felt an angel's touch today,
in the midst of my despair.
Twas sent by God, Himself, to say,
"be still and know I'm there."

To lead through days of darkness,
and light your way with love.
Be still and know, deep in your heart,
I'm reigning from above.

I'll lift you when you stumble,
I'm with you all the time.
I understand and share your pain;
remember child of mine,

The end is coming quickly;
the Lord shall soon appear.
To resurrect the righteous ones,
I love and hold so dear.

And bring them home, into a place,
where broken hearts are healed.
And promises I made to you,
will finally be fulfilled.

This life is but a spot in time,
a place for lessons learned.
Heaven holds the key to all,
your broken spirit yearns.

I sent an angel down today,
to show my words are true.
You're never far, beyond the arms,
of all God's love for you.

All material copyright @Judy Van Meter

You are in my heart and prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to or lean on, please email me. May God draw near and give you strength and hope and allow you to feel the touch of your angel.
Love and hugs
Judy
Website: http://www.catchanangel.com
Judy <tnderheart@yahoo.com>
- Friday, August 15, 2003 6:56 AM CDT

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I never knew Matt and I do not know if i am allowed to write in here. To mention anything will bring back pain, I know. I felt pain when I read the Frontline Force forums for some time ago, but I know this pain will not measure to what you felt and always will feel for Matt "Zofran" Hallemeier. I cryed when I saw his post in the Frontline Force forums. I play it myself now. Think that was the reason I started playing this game. I never knew him, nor saw him, but he has my prayers from where he stands.

Love,
Michael "Ikaros" Pedersen

I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.
Michael Pedersen <ikarosmike@hotmail.com>
Tromsř, Troms Norway - Thursday, August 14, 2003 6:27 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Thursday, August 14, 2003 7:54 AM CDT

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Hey matt,

I was born the same year as you, and I think about how young you were when you died. I reflect upon that and I look at how it would be if I was diagnosed with ALL. You were strong to battle leukemia for 2 years, and I respect that. I can feel your struggles and pain. I'm sorry to see it all go away at such a young age. Good luck Matt. Peace.
James Hu <axsuul@jameshu.com>
Newport Beach, CA USA - Wednesday, August 13, 2003 9:35 PM CDT

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Hi there. It's been a long time since I signed the guestbook but I have been stopping by and checking often. I, too, am still battling my own cancer. I pray for you all. I just wanted to let you know. Peace.
Rachel Baumgarter, Age 20 <obsessedwithlife@hotmail.com>
St Louis, MO - Wednesday, August 13, 2003 1:51 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie, Just checking in to see how you are doing, and hope you are getting a little "peace". We will keep you in our prayers. I think of Matthew often.
Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Tuesday, August 12, 2003 11:41 PM CDT

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I have just read your most recent entry. It is very sad to read, but also heartwarming that Matthew had such great friends to keep him company during his BMT. I think he knew they'd always be there for him.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Tuesday, August 12, 2003 5:45 PM CDT

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You are in my prayers.
Elizabeth Goodwin
Richland, WA - Tuesday, August 12, 2003 10:41 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie,

No words of wisdom or even comfort can I offer - just my love and appreciation of you and Matthew, for the sharing of his life. It changed me forever. The pictures of him through the years are beautiful. I pray for peace for you, wishing I could do more.
Laura Piper, mom to Dani, ALL-Kids <laurapiper@hotmail.com>
Hampton, IA - Sunday, August 10, 2003 9:19 PM CDT

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its been over a year.
and i can still remember chatting with Zofran on IRC

we were pretty good friends cause our names were really close
he would be zzofff and i would be Zotran
its pretty weird, knowing I will never see his name online in my friends list.

today i remember it was about this time last year when I found out.

my love goes out to his family and friends.
Although i never met him in person I would consider him a good friend.
zzottt of TEATIME .. or Josh Wendt to the rest of the world <wenot@hotmail.com>
Seattle, - Saturday, August 9, 2003 2:26 PM CDT

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Thinking of you all and praying for peace and serenity. Please know that we care and share your pain and emptiness. Sending lots of love from high above - ANGEL COLBY JAMES COLE AND CREW.
jack - colby's daddy forever and ever
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby, UNIONTOWN PA - Saturday, August 9, 2003 7:14 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie!

I've been thinking of you and Matthew and wanted to say hello. Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us. I hope it helps to know that there are many people out there like me - strangers who were touched by Matthew and continue to be touched by you. God bless you and your family.
Justine (Germaine) Kessler <justinekessler@yahoo.com>
Madison, WI USA - Friday, August 8, 2003 4:04 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
Thinking of you and remembering Matt. another year begins...I hope that in every day there is something you find enough purpose in that if it is gone from you tomorrow you will have lived enough the day you had it to live on without lasting regrets. I feel that about my time with Quito, I try to remember it moment to moment and hour to hour and day to day. Making worthwhile memories, creating strong bridges to carry me across when the burdens are heavy. Love to you and Thanks for sharing, Robyn
caringbridge.com/ca/quito
san diego, ca - Friday, August 8, 2003 1:46 AM CDT

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I was away for a week, and unable to check in on my "CaringBridge families", but was still thinking of so many of them. Especially your family, imagining how difficult the one year anniversary of Matthew's passing was. I can understand why it would be difficult to go to his favorite Mexican restaurant. It sounds like you spent the day wisely - with family.

I continue to think of your family, and Matthew, frequently. Please take care of yourself.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 9:22 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie- just checking in to see how you are doing! I continue to think and pray for you often. I am more conscious of loving my three children more fully each day because of Matthew and your family. We never know what each day will bring...but try to find the good in every day and giving of ourselves to others. Peace and prayers, Sheila
Sheila Sellenriek
Wildwood, MO - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 4:18 PM CDT

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Hello,
I'm not sure how I came accross Matthew's webpage, but I felt compelled to read his journal. First off, what a handsome young man Matthew is! I know you suffer, hurt, feel so lonesome for Matthew. You don't even have to write those exact words, they are easily expressed in Matthew's journal. I have not lost a child to cancer, so I don't know how you feel. I am a mother, so I know the love you feel towards your son. I wanted to say that you are so strong, to watch your son die and know he was suffering. But, you weren't strong, you had no choice in the matter, did you? I just want to tell you that on the days when you feel weak, lean on us, everyone, for strength to go on. On the days when you feel you can offer alittle, offer it to another parent of a child suffering with cancer.

As I said, I do not know how you feel but I feel for you! God bless and take care! Matthew truly is an angel in heaven!!!
Sandy Kleinfehn <klinfin6@meltel.net>
Melrose , MN - Wednesday, August 6, 2003 6:22 AM CDT

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Just a note to let you know that even tho you don't know me, I pray for you everyday. I can't believe it's been a year since Matt went to heaven. Hang in there-I'm sorry that the painful memories still seem so strong. No child or parent should have to go through what so many people have to endure. Whatever comes after this life on earth must be really, really great for what we have to endure in order to pass to heaven.
Karen
Minneapolis, Mn. - Tuesday, August 5, 2003 10:14 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie and family, I'm afraid after reading the last entries, I'm a bit stuck for words. I just wanted to let you know that, although I don't always manage to find the right words to write something on Matthew's page, it doesn't mean I have forgotten him. I carry him with me everytime I see a smile on anyone's face.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
uk, - Monday, August 4, 2003 5:24 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
Just wanted to sign in quick and let you know that I had been here. I'm going to be away from my computer for awhile as I am having surgery tomorrow, but I'll be back to check on you as soon as I can!! You will remain close to my heart even while I'm not here, and my prayers will never cease.

Matthew......I'll NEVER forget!!!

Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Monday, August 4, 2003 9:11 AM CDT

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Hey Debbie,



I just wanted to come and say HI...I hope you and your family have been keeping well and enjoying your summer! Don't forget that you'll always have a friend from Australia :) Thinking of you!

~*Girlie's Page*~
~*Janice's Page*~

Hugs,
XOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Monday, August 4, 2003 8:58 AM CDT

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To the Hallemeier family...
Tonight was the first time I visited your son's site and I was so deeply touched by your family's story that I had to write you. I hope it isn't out of place since I haven't been here before.
I came across a Caringbridge site about a month ago about a little girl named Rachel with cancer and from there I found more and more sites. I have honestly sat here many times and wondered what it is that makes me go from site to site learning about these sick children. The stories often times bring tears to my eyes, but for some reason I continue to read. Then, I realized tonight as I was looking through your site that it is because of children like your son that I keep reading. These children are so incredibly inspiring that it's hard NOT to want to learn more about them. Just from viewing your website and getting a bit of insight as to what your family has been through, I'm absolutely amazed that a 16 year old could go through something so tough and be so incredibly brave. I have a heart condition and all I have to do is take medicine that helps immediately (without poisoning my system and killing my immune system) and I sit here and I think back on all the times in the past year I've had a headache or a little cold and I whined and complained about it... then I look at what these children go through and it just floors me. Who am I to complain about something so trivial when there are children going through things so much worse and they are so much braver than I can ever imagine myself being.
Your son seemed like such a wonderful person and I feel that I would have been lucky if I'd gotten the chance to meet him... but I also feel that my life has been changed in a good way just by reading about him. Thank you so much for sharing Matthew's story with the world through this website! I know I'm a better person for having experienced a part of him. I believe that he's a angel in heaven now and I bet he's watching down on all of the other little children... and your family as well. God bless you!

I would like to share with if you don't mind, (it's a little long) it's a poem that I wrote recently for a friend of mine...
"Thank you Lord" By. Rachel K.
We thank you so much, Dear Lord, for all life's wondrous things,
We thank you for the gift of our beautiful son, who earned his angel wings.
We loved him more than life, Dear Lord, so we had to let him go,
It’s you who’ll love him now though Lord, that we truly know.
We did our best while he was here Lord, to keep him safe from harm,
please take his hand in yours now Lord, and keep him nice and warm.
He always loved to drink Cherry coke, and his favorite game was Clue,
he was happy to just sit and talk about life, and he loved his Playstation 2.
He was always a fan of fresh air Lord, make sure he gets enough,
and don’t worry if he gets hurt on occasion... just remember, this kid’s tough!
He loves to talk to his friends online, he never failed to make us smile,
and if it’s not to much trouble Lord, let him visit us in our dreams every once in a while.
Now I know he’s probably happy there Lord, but I’m sure he’s missing Earth,
so take all these things to heart please Lord, save them for what they’re worth.
And if he ever starts to cry, Dear Lord, if it’s hard for him to adjust,
then please take him in your arms Lord, and speak to him of us.
Remind him of how we loved him Lord, and so it came to be,
that when you called him home Dear Lord, we chose to set him free.
Tell him we still love him Lord, and we think of him everyday,
and that we all know he’s listening Lord, each evening when we pray.
Tell him that we’re glad he’s happy Lord, and it gives us strength and joy,
to know that he’s in heaven now, but he’ll always be our boy.
And it’s with this newfound strength we have, that we’ll greet each sun and moon,
knowing in the end, Dear Lord, we’ll see him someday soon.
And up until that day, Dear Lord, we know just where he waits,
and I’m sure when we’re each called home Lord, he’ll be waiting there at the gates.
And he’ll run to us and he’ll hug us tight and once again we’ll be,
Together in each other’s arms... a happy family.


Rachel K. <Storm844@aol.com>
Lexington, Ky USA - Saturday, August 2, 2003 1:15 AM CDT

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Hi Debbire and Dirk,
I still think of you often, and how your family is coping.
I knew Matt's anniversary was recently, and I wanted to stop by and let you know that we will always be praying and keeping you close at heart. I know it is difficult for you. Please stop by Ryan's site and visit him. He still talks about Matt, and also gets a lump in his throat at the same time. He is stuggling with so many emotions right now. Why someone lives, why others die? He is helping me plan our Light the Night Walk here in Urbana-Champaign again this year. He will be speaking at the event. Ryan is doing this in honor of Matt, Alexandria, his Grandma Theresa, and all others who are still stuggling with a life theartening disease. Sometimes he struggles with getting the courage to do these things, but then he realizes why he is doing it all, and he gets through it. Stop by and give him some courage to keep up the fight.
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com www.lightthenight.org <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il United States - Friday, August 1, 2003 1:49 PM CDT

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Thinking of you all -
Vicki, mama to Duncan, ALL-Kids
Copper Canyon, Tx - Thursday, July 31, 2003 4:48 AM CDT

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Debbie- I check in on your site often and think of your family even more. I hope you have found some comfort and peace the last couple days. I continue to pray for you!

Sheila Sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
Wildwood, MO USA - Wednesday, July 30, 2003 10:37 PM CDT

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Good morning, I just wanted you to know that I stopped to check your site and to see how you are doing after the first anniversary.
Thinking of you and your family.
Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, July 29, 2003 8:43 AM CDT

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Debbie, I have been thinking of you and your family still. I read your comment about how to save the pictures and I have a recommendation. The chemicals that are used in photos and even in negatives has a certain lifetime, and after a while will turn yellow and do other nasty things. I would recommend obtaining a flatbed scanner and scanning them into digital form and then burning them onto CD. The CD has a much longer durability and the ones and zeros won't yellow. I would scan them in at the highest resolution that the scanner supports and save them in a format that doesn't compress the image (I recommend .bmp or .tiff). This means each photo will take up a few megabytes but when each CD hold about 700MB, you can save at least a hundred or so pictures on a CD. Then 10 or 20 years down the road when the "next-best-thing" comes out you can move them over and not lose any quality. Just an idea. If you have any questions you can mail me and I would be more than happy to answer them.
Dan Kettmann <dkettmann(at)citifinancial.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, July 28, 2003 8:20 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
I'm sorry I didn't come by earlier..things have been a little crazy here at my end of the world. I know it was Matt's anniversary last week...I was thinking of you and your family...I am glad you surrounded yourself with family who are close to you. Sometimes they are the only people who can pull us out from the darkest hole. Well, I just wanted to come by and let you know that I'm sorry I didn't come by with a message earlier on Matt's anniversary and that even though I don't write in sometimes, I am thinking of all of you and keeping you all in my prayers, and of course always remembering Angel Matt. I never got the chance to follow his journey but reading his journal helps me get to "know" the beautiful Matt that was once here with us. Keep strong, now..and I hope you have a beautiful day!

~*Girlie's Page*~
~*Janice's Page*~

Hugs & kisses,
XOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Monday, July 28, 2003 10:56 AM CDT

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Hello Debbie and Dirk,
Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking about Matthew and praying for your family.
Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Sunday, July 27, 2003 2:43 AM CDT

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Thinking of you all and praying for Matthew as always. Hang in there this week...My prayers are with you all!
Mandy
St. Louis, MO - Thursday, July 24, 2003 4:55 PM CDT

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I'd just like you to know, that I was fully aware of Tuesday being the first anniversary of your loss of Matt, and I knew your pain was tremendous. I pray for you and hope that you may find comfort in the loving memories that Matt has given you. Much love.
Vicki Cooper <victoriastl@hotmail.com>
St Louis, MO 63119 - Thursday, July 24, 2003 4:44 PM CDT

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I came upon this site by error when looking for another caringbridge site. I have now spent the last 2 hours reading the journal, looking at the photos and reading the post from his gaming community. I truly hope that someday that I will be able to exemplify such strength, courage and grace.

What a truly amazing young man to be able to come to grips with adversity and one's own mortality.

As it must be hard at this time with the memories of the past year . . . try to remember what a special gift it is to have had a son with such character and substance.

In life, we could all take a lesson from such qualities.

What an amazing young man. I feel blessed to have stumbled upon these pages.

May God Bless You.
Brandi Lueken
Saint Louis, MO - Thursday, July 24, 2003 11:46 AM CDT

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(((Debbie))),

You and Dirk and your whole family are in my heart and on my mind....it's my prayer that the painful memories of Matt's last days will be replaced by the wonderful memories you have of him. Thank you for sharing your grief with us.
God bless,
Lisa Agee <www.caringbridge.com/page/ross>
Camden, AL - Thursday, July 24, 2003 9:48 AM CDT

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I have no idea how I have stumbled upon your sight, but I want you to know that you are not alone with this horrid week. Your family will forever be in my thoughts and prayers...I too lost my son last year, July 22, 2002. His name was Tyler John McGrath and he passed away on his ninth birthday. The same disease. I am so sorry that we had to stumble upon each other this way. If you ever need anything feel free to email me. Our sons are probably up there playing baseball together:)
Victoria <tj4ever@frontiernet.net>
- Wednesday, July 23, 2003 9:14 PM CDT

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Oh Debbie...I am sitting here at work with tears streaming down my face. I KNOW how hard it is to relive those memories over and over. I am thinking of you and praying for you and your whole family. I hope you were able to get some sleep. Just think of Matt in Heaven - CANCER FREE - and hopefully, that will give you some comfort. You're in my thoughts today..

Noelle Conover Matthew's Website <nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Wednesday, July 23, 2003 2:01 PM CDT

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Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today as always. Remembering Matthew today on his 1st heavenly birthday.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, July 23, 2003 11:36 AM CDT

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Just wanted you to know that we are still checking on you all. Hoping and praying that you are comforted now more than ever before . I am sure these days are really tough.... Matt constantly in your thoughts ... hopefully you can think of all the good times BEFORE he was sick and rejoice knowing that he will NEVER experience pain or sickness again. Loving you and holding you dear.....
Danette
Danette Prater www.caringbridge.com/tx/jacobprater <jakesmom@wt.net>
Santa Fe , Tx - Wednesday, July 23, 2003 11:22 AM CDT

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Debbie,Dirk and Family,
Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Reading your updates makes me hug my kids tighter. Thank you for making a lot of people realize just how precious life is. God Bless you and your family.
Anita Bernardo
Anita Bernardo <Maknardo@aol>
Granada Hills, CA USA - Wednesday, July 23, 2003 1:19 AM CDT

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Debbie I just dont know what to say today.
"Anniversary" in my mind should conjure up good things, mark good events, and never be meant for something as horrible as this. And yet its here. Matthews one year mark in heaven. I cant believe it. Its got to be tenfold, a hundred fold for all of you. I dont know what to say so I will just wish you peace and some sleep.... try to replace the horrible memories of this day last year with memories of all the days before cancer invaded your lives....
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Tuesday, July 22, 2003 11:54 PM CDT

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Debbie and family- there are absolutely no words to lessen the pain in your heart today! I pray that the many prayers lifted up today for comfort and strength will help ease the hurt. Matthew was such an incredible person, that I have gotten to know through your words. Thank you for sharing him with us...we have become better people because of him! As you were so proud of him and all that he went through, I believe he is so proud of you and all that you are doing to try to go on, yet still loving him so dearly!!! thank you for sharing Matthew with us. We are better parents and people because of it. I continue to think of Matthew and your family every day and pray for you every day! May God bless you!
Sheila Sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
Wildwood, MO USA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 10:32 PM CDT

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You are constantly in my thoughts, but especially today. In some ways July 22, 2002 seems like yesterday - in others it seems like a long time ago. You took such loving care of Matthew. I know that he will always be grateful for that. Tonight at VBS, Elizabeth's group did a craft where they decorated the poem "Footprints." She said that it made her think of Matthew. May God lift you and carry you during these difficult days. We love you all.
Brian, Kim, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 10:25 PM CDT

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I'm holding you close in prayer. My heart breaks for you... for all of us. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Tuesday, July 22, 2003 10:07 PM CDT

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Your family is in our prayers today and always...

The Hall Family: Ron, Tammy, Emma and Dylan (from ALL Kids) <hallrontammy@msn.com>
Medina, OH USA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 9:07 PM CDT

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Our thoughts and prayers are with you today, and forever.

Cheri & Katelynn
Nelson , BC Canada - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 8:34 PM CDT

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Just thinking of you and your family today
God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 8:32 PM CDT

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You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Chris
- Tuesday, July 22, 2003 8:16 PM CDT

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Thinking of and praying for you and your family today. May you find strength and comfort in God.
Holly
Birmingham, AL - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 7:34 PM CDT

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Debbie and Family
Constantly in our thoughts and prayers. I too share your pain and relive your memories. Our Tim who is forever 8 earned his angel wings on 22nd January 2003 exactly 6 months after your beautiful Matthew. Be kind to yourself and take it gently.....Your Matthew is always with you.

It was sad to see you suffer,
To watch you fade away,
You didn't want to leave us,
You fought so hard to stay.
Our hearts they ache with sorrow,
Our secret tears they flow,
For what it means to lose you,
No one will ever know.

Take care and God Bless
Gerri Viergever and Family
Lysterfield, Vic Australia - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 7:01 PM CDT

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Hello Debbie and Dirk, we have been thinking about Matthew as the 22nd approached us. It seems hard to beleive a year has passed by us all. I hope and pray that with each passing year the memories will fade to be those of just the good times. We will be praying for you all. Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 6:54 PM CDT

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I sit here with many tears flowing down my face. Your words touched me very much. Thank God for Matthew's Dr. and Nurse for coming out that night, one year ago. As you say, it allowed you to "be Mom". It makes me think of my sister-in-law, who was doing a lot of the "last hours" of help with my mother, when she was in ICU. I just couldn't do it, seeing her breaths slowly tapering away.

I was not expecting a journal entry when I signed on again today. I sure hope you were able to rest, but imagine it was only when exhaustion set in. :(

My prayers continue for all of you.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 5:23 PM CDT

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I came to read your entry on 22nd but didnt get a chance to sign earlier on as my very young cousin was pulling at my leg to play a game with him. He is only three so I relented and went to join him but please know that I was here and I am thinking about you. It's 12.15 am here, so I just missed signing on the 22nd but I want to let you know that I'm thinking about you, not just on "the day" but everyday. Best wishes and kind regards,
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 5:19 PM CDT

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Dearest {{{{{{Debbie}}}}}}
My heartfelt prayers are with your family on this painful anniversary day. Matthew is still and always will be a Hero to me. I can't tell you how much I admire you for keeping his website updated for all of us to read. It's a wonderful tribute to him. Thank you.
I eat the asparagus stalks so Chad can have the tips too. Now I have one more Matthew-memory to make me smile.
Sending all my love and great big cyber hugs ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 5:06 PM CDT

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Debbie and family:

Thinking of you on this day and remembering Matthew. Just wanted to let you know that your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I hope all your great memories of Matthew will begin to lessen your pain. Take care

Jean Bass <jbass@cbburnet.com>
Minneapolis, MN USA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 4:36 PM CDT

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Dear Matthew's family,
I know there are no words to ease your pain and sorrow as you remember back to one year ago today. Thank you for sharing such personal memories of Matthew's passing. My heart breaks as I read your journal and the tears flow freely. May you feel the love of family, friends and even strangers as they remember you in pray on this difficult day.
In His love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 3:54 PM CDT

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Debbie, Dirk, and Family,
I was sitting at work today and somehow just ended up at Matthew's website. It has been awhile since I had stopped by, but when I saw the date, I knew something bigger drew me here. I read through the entries I had missed and had to fight back the tears at work. This is such a tough day for you all. I will say a prayer for you to have the strength to get through it. Just remember to celebrate Matthew's life...try to remember the good times, the funny things he said and did...he would love for you to have a smile on your face today!
God Bless you all, Deb



Deb Nowicki
Lenexa, KS USA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 3:23 PM CDT

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Debbie and Family,
I am at a loss for words, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers today. You are such a brave woman. No one, no family should ever have to endure what your's has. I pray that the Lord will give you peace.
Caroline Gallucci <carolinew@hardingrace.com>
Benton, AR - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 2:46 PM CDT

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Debbie and family,
I know that there are no words that can ease the pain you are feeling today, however I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you today and hope as you pass the first anniversay your memories will be fond ones and all the painful ones will drift to the distant past.
My you find peace.
Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 1:45 PM CDT

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Today it has been one year since we lost our good friend Matt. There is not a day that goes by that we don't think back fondly on everything Matt did. Any time we spent with Matt was filled with smiles and good times. Matt will always be remembered back in the home town area. The world of Pattonville will never forget Matt, especially the ones who called him friend. Stay strong, as we try to be strong as well. We have kept and will keep his memory alive.

Love and best wishes,
Richard Deslauriers, Kevin Vossen and Andy Tenholder
(old friends of Matt)
Richard Deslauriers <tricky_dickie77@hotmail.com>
Maryland Heights, MO - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 1:18 PM CDT

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Thinking of you and your family today and saying special prayers for peace and comfort from above.
Jacqueline <leticiaci@yahoo.com>
Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 1:09 PM CDT

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I found this site thru another Caring Bridge Site...never before have I read about someone the same age as me that had to go thru all of this....Today is July 22nd 2003 and its my anniversary with my boyfriend and from now on when the 22nd comes around of every month I will say a special prayer for your family, I will pray for you guys every day but on the 22nd I will send up a special prayer asking God to help you thru the day with what he deems necessary...Love and Prayers from North Carolina ~*Jenifer*~
~*Jenifer Hope*~ <jenniferhope@surry.net>
Mt Airy, NC America - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 12:57 AM CDT

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Debbie, Dirk and family,
I don't have any good words of wisdom today or any other day, but as I sit here with tears running down my face, please know that you all mean the world to me and that I am thanking God at this moment for leading me to Matthew's page. My life has forever been touched by "meeting" Matthew and all of you. My heart aches with all of you today and my prayers are continuous that God will wrap His loving arms around each of you and let you know that Matthew is fine. God bless you all!

Matthew.....thank you for leaving your footprints on my heart.....I will NEVER forget!!

Sent with big hugs and love,

Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 11:03 AM CDT

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Matt's Family
I have been reading Matt's page for quite awile now -- however I didn't start reading your journal of Matt's precious life until after this time last year -- so I was unable to share in Matt's earthly life -- but I have read your entire journal (probably more than once) and I have been so inspired by Matt and by you his precious family. My heart is so heavy today for you. Sometimes it is hard to undertand where my tears come from when I don't even know your family but I defintely have been so touched by your faithfulness even in the deepest of agony. Today I am praying for peace for your family and I'm so thankful that the joy Matt brought you is eternal, as is his precious life. Please know how much I care and that I'm praying for your family.
Judy Gillen <jgillen@nechristian.edu>
Norfolk, NE USA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 11:02 AM CDT

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Debbie, my thoughts and prayers are always with you, but especially today. Your words about Matthew have caused so many smiles, and also tears in the past year, what a wonderful legacy you have created in his memory. Again, thank you for letting so many strangers, like myself, get to know Matt.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 10:36 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie, Dirk & all of ^i^ Matthew's precious family,

Special thoughts are with you all today. I know it is a difficult time now and our love and prayers are with you all.
Matthew was such a CHAMPION, who touched SO MANY people's lives all over the world!
He has left a beautiful impression on my heart, which I will carry for the rest of my life.
He will never be forgotten and his spirit will live on through his precious family.
Thank you for Matthew's great web site, which is a beautiful tribute him.

Loads of love and GIANT CUDDLES to all the family,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany

XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO



the Cruickshank family
Melbourne, VIC. AUSTRALIA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 10:33 AM CDT

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Hoping you find peace today knowing that your wonderful son is pain free and w/ Jesus....praying for your strength and continued peace of mind. God Bless.
lori dietz <nevlor_2000@yahoo.com>
baldwin park, ca us - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 10:33 AM CDT

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Thinking of you today especially. I know that the days leading up to and even after the anniversary days are most difficult also. And the memories we have imprinted in our minds often replay themselves over again, sometimes at the most inopportune times, without warning. I think my son's spirit also left well before he died and I was puzzled that it may have happened, before I knew it, while he was in a coma. (The ancient Greeks believed that the human spirit leaves the body in the form of a butterfly.)
Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you and your family.
Steven's Mom http://www.reddlegg.com/Leukemia_info.htm
Ann <ahart@troyst.edu>
Troy, AL USA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 10:30 AM CDT

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Debbie and family- I am thinking of you today. There are no words to express how sorry I am for your heartache and for your loss of Matthew. I always say that sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday that you held your child, and some days seem like an eternity. Time is a strange concept. I will say a prayer for you today...and always.
Michelle, Momma to Jackson Ben Espeseth, ^forever 3^ <http://www.caringbridge.com/wi/jacksons.journey>
Clear Lake, WI - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 10:18 AM CDT

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Hallemeier Family,

My thoughts are with you today and the surrounding week. These anniversaries are extremely hard and very emotional....and it doesn't seem to get any easier. But know that you are surrounded by many friends. Matthew lived a short life, but it was definitely filled with lots of love from his family and friends. May you find comfort knowing that. My thoughts are with you all.

Many hugs,

Vicki Hoffman, sis to ^i^ Mike Hunter <www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike>
Anaheim, CA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 9:30 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and your family today. I hope that you can find a peaceful place and ponder the memories of your remarkable son. Today will be a tough one, I'm sure, but know that many people out here care about you and are sending up many prayers for you today. Matthew is free..no more PAIN...only smiles and happiness.
In Christ..Rhonda
Rhonda Byars <jbyars@austin.rr.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 9:22 AM CDT

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My prayers are with you and your family today. I am sure that Matthew has found my little friend Kaitlyn (11 yrs old). She met Jesus on July 13th. She was a fighter too. Not wanting to go...but anxious to be at peace. She was a prankster...so I hope Matthew is up to the challenge of silly string, rubber snakes, etc.

"I will be with you always." Matthew 28:20
Doreen
CF, IA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 8:51 AM CDT

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Debbie and family, my heart is with you today, and Matthew and Jake and Danny and Michael and Arielle and Kristin and Jonny, Quito, Sean, Brett and all the others laughing and dancing today on Matthew's 1 year "birthday". Your post brought back memories of my own. God Be with you today and always. We WILL be together again someday. Blessings and Love sent to you, Jean, Jake's Mom
Jean Favour
Phoenix, AZ USA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 8:24 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie - your latest entry is heartbreaking. I have been thinking of you, your family and Matthew for the last several days and especially today. I remember so well reading your journal at this time last year.You are entirely right that it can be harder as time goes on, as opposed to right after a death. Many prayers and healing thoughts for all of you. Many of us are in this guestbook are far away, but in a sense we are still with you.
Gloria McShane
Darlington, England - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 5:17 AM CDT

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Debbie, You and your family are all in my thoughts, my prayers, and my heart on this day. I hope you'll soon find peace in your heart and mind, and the despair will lessen for all of you.
Love you,
Barb Cary
Barbara Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, Ca USA - Tuesday, July 22, 2003 1:46 AM CDT

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Ms.Debbie,
I am praying for you and your family @ this very difficult time.
Lisa
Birmingham, Al - Monday, July 21, 2003 9:30 PM CDT

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You are in our prayers as Matthew's Homegoing anniversary approaches. My heart is heavy with your grief, pain and sorrow. We know all too well how incredibly (almost impossibly) hard these special days are to bear. May you know our Lord's comfort, peace and hope in a very special way.
Yolanda Rogers, Mom to Anna, http://www.galatians5.com, <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USAS - Monday, July 21, 2003 7:26 PM CDT

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Thinking of you all today. Wlll say a special prayer for your family tomorrow. May God bless you with his strength to get you through the day.
Happy Birthday to Matt July, 22.
Gail
toronto, on Canada - Monday, July 21, 2003 6:00 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today-extra prayers for strength and comfort are with you.
Maria
NJ - Monday, July 21, 2003 10:59 AM CDT

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Just dropping in to let you know I'm thinking of you and I'm so glad you will have your children around you and keeping you busy. On Tuesday, please know that I will be thinking of Angel Matt and keeping you in my prayers!
Hugs,
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Monday, July 21, 2003 3:24 AM CDT

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Stopping by to say hello, and to let you know I'll be especially thinking of you this week. Especially on Tuesday.

With love and prayers,

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Sunday, July 20, 2003 7:55 PM CDT

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I don't really know what to say today. It is just about to cross into the 21st here in England. I will be thinking of your family all this week. I think about you often, but wish there was more I could do. I remember sending this poem to you a long time ago while Matthew was still with us here on earth. I hope it helps to read it again.

Don't Give Up

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you are trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
When stress is pressing you down a bit -
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns;
And many a failure we turn about
When he might have won, had we stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow;
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are
If may be near, when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit,
It is when things seem worst you must not quit.

I know Matthew fought hard to have as many days with you all as he could. He is always going to be a winner in my eyes.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Sunday, July 20, 2003 5:40 PM CDT

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Hey Debbie,



I know Matt's anniversary is coming up very soon so it must be so tough on your family...I am really dreading it when it is my mom's 1st anniversary in September..it is so hard now, so I can't imagine what it would be like when the 1-year anniversary approaches...you are so right though when you say it doesn't hit you till later...much later..to think about it, when my mom passed away, everything was such a blur and everything just sorta went by really fast and I was in a lot of shock...but months later, it REALLY started to hurt..possibly even more than when she died. Anyway, I am glad your children will be home with you..it is times like these when you need your family the most! I just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...you guys keep strong...Matt would be so proud of all of you.. thinking of you!

*~Girlie's Page~*
*~Janice's Page~*

Lots of love,
XOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Sunday, July 20, 2003 11:53 AM CDT

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Debbie,
I have been thinking so very much about you and your family lately. I logged on and then I realized why - Yes it has been a year. I remember it all so clearly. And I also remember that Julie's wedding anniversary is also coming up. I love the photo albumn that you have put here on the page - Matthew looks so much like you - He is beautiful! He certainly touched my heart with his courage and bravery. I know you miss him so much and I am sorry for your pain but I am sure he is with you every day and taking care of his mom. I hope you have a great visit with Julie and Christopher. I will continue to always hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Love, Barb
Barb Tomlinson - Joey's mom http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/joeysjourney <btomlinson3@comcast.net>
Telford, PA - Saturday, July 19, 2003 9:58 PM CDT

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Debbie- Your last few journal entries have brought tears to my eyes. That is so sad - about Matthew talking about what to do with his body after he passed away. I don't even know how you made it through that conversation. Please know my prayers are with you.
Diane Mathis
- Saturday, July 19, 2003 8:02 PM CDT

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He's My Son - Mark Schultz (Mark Schultz)

I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See there is a boy that needs Your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired
I'm sure You can understnad
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes

Chorus:
Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God who he needs right now is You
Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there

Chorus

Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son


thinking of you
- Saturday, July 19, 2003 5:24 PM CDT

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Stopping by to let you know that I am thinking of you.

Jackson's mom, Michelle
Clear Lake, WI - Saturday, July 19, 2003 8:41 AM CDT

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Debbie, cant imagine how hard this is for you, each day is a step further away from holding, smelling, remembering Matt so vividly. I cant believe its going to be a year already. I guess it feels like forever to you though.

I know I will be okay
{if I can just get through this day}



Everyone looks to me as the strong one
The one to hold out walls in place
The crying and sorrow and heartache
Just can not be seen on my face

But so many just don’t understand
How my heart literally aches
And I do try to hide this from others
I do it for my loved ones’ sakes.

I’ve heard people say “She’s gonna be okay…”
But oh, if they could only realize
I do my best to pass the test of survival
But my heart just wont compromise.

I, like now, find myself in a deep abyss
Others may say that I’ll be okay
But if they don’t long for a child they miss
They can not hear what I try to say.

I often wonder just where I’m to turn
Or what tomorrow has in store
Then I remember a friend who has been;
Been down this same path before

I know I can go to her and cry
Our tears are a million and one
Helping each other survive the loss;
The loss of a daughter or son.

I know the Lord is with me daily too
Yes, he holds me when I pray
And with him I know that I shall be okay
If I can only make it through this day…..

by Kaye Des ‘Ormeaux 2003

Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Friday, July 18, 2003 5:04 PM CDT

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Debbie you are on my mind so much at this time and I just wish I could do something to"make the hurt better." I love you so much and it hurts me to have you hurting so much. I've been doing some cropping and I came up with some pictures of Matthew through the years. I'm glad we have some pleasant memories. I hope that we can have a visit with Julie. I'm glad she was free to visit now. Call me.
Mother
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, July 18, 2003 3:12 PM CDT

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I read so many of the Caringbridge stories but I never sign the guest book because I don't know the people and think that they don't read them
But after reading on so many of the sites that it does matter, I am less shy about signing.
I will be thinking of all of you. Matt was very courageous and brave but it is easy to see where he got that from.
Blessings to all of you.

Ellen <EllenG40@aol.com>
WI - Friday, July 18, 2003 1:59 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie!
I just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you and your family. I've been on vacation (my honeymoon, actually!) and I was so glad to return to a journal entry. I understand what you mean about getting mail for Matthew. I remember answering the phone after my father passed away. The caller asked for him ... and I froze. I didn't know what to do ... so I just hung up. It was easier than having to say "He's dead."

At any rate, you're in my prayers as always, and I'll be sending you many positive thoughts on Tuesday. God bless you.
Justine (Germaine) Kessler <justinekessler@yahoo.com>
Madison, WI USA - Friday, July 18, 2003 8:22 AM CDT

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Maffer,
Just wanted to let you know I will say some extra prayers for you and your family. I hope that you have a wonderful visit with your children. God Bless.
Michelle Zammat <whisperpur@yahoo.com>
Belcamp, MD USA - Friday, July 18, 2003 7:18 AM CDT

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Just stopped by to let you know that you will be in our thoughts and prayers over the coming days. We will always remember the day that Matthew died (it is the same date as Liam's birthday), Lowri was home on hospice care, and we had come to know Matthew through this site, checking in every day. It is harder for you than this time last year because even though you knew he would be with you for so little longer, Matthew WAS still with you then. Reaching out to give ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) across the miles between us.
Harri, Tim, Roosje, Liam and angel Lowri. <timvdw@kcbbs.gen.nz>
Auckland, New Zealand - Thursday, July 17, 2003 10:12 PM CDT

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Just stopped in to say hi and that I love you.
Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Thursday, July 17, 2003 3:28 PM CDT

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Continuing to think of you, and SO glad to hear that your daughter has been able to extend her trip.

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Thursday, July 17, 2003 2:47 PM CDT

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I know these coming days are going to be very tough. I will be remembering you and Dirk and family in my prayers. God can comfort for only He can. Continue to think of the good days and not the rough ones. I will be praying for the good memories to prevail over all the hard-saddened days.

www.caringbridge.org/mo/hollyemoore
Anita Moore mother of Holly dx Sept, 2000 AML, April, 2001 Auto PBSCT
Sikeston, MO - Wednesday, July 16, 2003 10:34 PM CDT

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Peace to you and your family. I have not met you or your son but just happen to come to your site.
S M Schram <smschram@hotmail.com>
London, Ont Canada - Wednesday, July 16, 2003 7:10 PM CDT

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Praying for you and your family as the one year anniversary approaches. I pray that you will feel the prayers that are being prayed for you by all that care.
Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, July 16, 2003 3:42 PM CDT

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Morning Debbie,
Just doing my usual check-in and was glad to see that you had updated. Your family has been weighing so heavy on my heart as I know the year mark approaches. I am so glad that Julie was able to arrange her schedule to spend some extra time with you. And then meeting Christopher's "girlfriend". I'm sure that will be exciting. It hardly seems possible that a year has gone by. I know the upcoming week is going to be difficult and I wish there was something that I could do to help you all through it....I wish I could take away your pain. I know that is impossible, but please remember that I will be holding you in my heart and remembering Matt right along with you. Always praying........

Matt, thank you for letting me share in a part of your life. I know that you are now healthy and enjoying your place in God's kingdom. As this week approaches, please look after your family and let them know that you are fine and will be there waiting when their time comes to see your face again. I miss you buddy......I'll NEVER forget!!

Sent with big hugs and love,

Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, July 16, 2003 9:30 AM CDT

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Just wanted to let you know that you will be close in thought and held up in prayer as you are facing these difficult days.

Maria
NJ - Wednesday, July 16, 2003 8:58 AM CDT

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Good morning Debbie, I have no words to ease your pain, I only pray that someday you will find peace and be able to live with the good memories and the sad ones will become a distant past. My heart aches for you and all the Caringbridge families. I truly don't know how all of you are able to survive and spread your faith as you do. It is truly amazing to me. You have my utmost respect.
Take care,
Mary
Manchester , MO - Wednesday, July 16, 2003 8:30 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie.
Thinking of you since our mutual friend Liz Cruickshank thought it may help me in my grief. Will still light that candle in memory of your beloved son Matthew, like my son Tim who is forever 8, they are too precious to ever forget.
Thought I might share with you something Liz sent me:

Mom, please don't feel guilty
It was just my time to go.
I see you are still feeling sad,
And the tears just seem to flow.

We all come to earth for our lifetime,
And for some it's not many years
I don't want you to keep crying
You are shedding so many tears.
I haven't really left you
Even though it may seem so.
I have just gone to my heavenly home,
And I'm closer to you than you know.
Just believe that when you say my name
I'm standing next to you,
I know you long to see me,
But there's nothing I can do.

But I’ll still send you messages
And hope you understand,
That when your time comes to “cross over,”
I’ll be there to take your hand.

Take care and God Bless




Gerri Viergever
Lysterfield, Vic Australia - Wednesday, July 16, 2003 5:11 AM CDT

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I'm going to the beach in the morning and visiting my friend. Last time we had such a run of beautiful days here in England and I went to see her, was last July. I remember walking along the beach and thinking what an amazing day it was, then thinking of Matthew as he fought hard in his last weeks and knowing how unfair it was that he wouldn't be able to to experience such beautiful sights again. At the same time though, it made me appreciate the air in my lungs and the sand below my feet. I will be taking Matthew with me as I walk along the beach tomorrow. I will always remember Matthew when I am experiencing such beauty in the future.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Tuesday, July 15, 2003 4:41 PM CDT

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Hey Debbie,
I'm sorry I haven't signed in lately..SORRY! Oh I was just in tears reading your update about the conversation you had with Matt...that really broke my heart. It is so unfair. SO, SO UNFAIR. I wish I could give you a big hug. I am always praying for you and for your family too... you guys are all so strong...you have to be...since losing my mom, I have learnt that I just HAVE to be strong..it is hard but I have to try. Thanks for always checking on me and signing my mom's guestbook...it means so much to me! Keep strong...remember that Matt is always walking beside you as you hold him close to your heart...

Girlie's Page
Janice's Page

Hugs & kisses always,
XOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Tuesday, July 15, 2003 10:31 AM CDT

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Hi There,
You don't know me and I don't know you but I want to get to know you. I was looking on the internet for an address so I could send letters to kids with cancer so they know that someone out there really cares about them and I came across this. I'm really sorry about your son (even though I havn't a clue who he is or what he looks like) but I just wanted to let you know that you may think that nobody cares about your son passing away because they never mention it but I wouldn't be signing this guestbook if i didn't care now would I? I would like your help though. If you could help me find address so that I could mail kids with cancer that would be great! Thank You!

Melissa <lilcutie_foreva@yahoo.com>
Lynchubrg, Ohio USA - Tuesday, July 15, 2003 9:35 AM CDT

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Just checking in to let you know you're being thought about today. Memories are so precious. God bless!
Cindy Wright - Tennessee
- Tuesday, July 15, 2003 8:37 AM CDT

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Debbie-
As always, I am praying for peace and comfort for the both of us that I know will not come any time soon-
love-
Alison - forever mom to Alexandria
www.caringbridge.com/page/alexandriasangels
alison haddock <aghaddock@msn.com>
, - Monday, July 14, 2003 0:02 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie,~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*
I was just thinking about Matt and I can't believe that it has almost been a year since he passed away. It seems like just yesterday we were on the school bus together laughing at all of his jokes. I really miss Matt!!!!!! We all do too! This must be so hard for you and nothing anyone says can take the pain away from you and your family. I'm really glad I came to say goodbye to Matt, I should have visited him but I was too late and I wish I would have but I wasn't sure what to do. I'm sure this is still really hard for all of you but just hang in there and God will take care of you all and of course Matt. You all are still in my prayers! 8)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
With Love and Prayers,
Danielle Rampani
Danielle Rampani <Hottangel77@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO St. Louis - Sunday, July 13, 2003 4:43 PM CDT

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Maybe Julie can name her first child Matt if it's a boy.
Gamer
- Sunday, July 13, 2003 3:09 PM CDT

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Just dropped by to say I think of your family often and always include you all in our family prayers, I am sure Matthew is watching over you, and especially at this time he will let you know that you are surrounded by his love.

Take Care and be strong.
With Love from Toronto
Gail Williams <mum_41@hotmail.com>
toronto, on Canada - Sunday, July 13, 2003 2:46 PM CDT

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Debbie & Dirk,
I love the new pictures. It hardly seems like it's almost been a year since Matt got his wings.
Matt is on my mind alot this month as well as you guys. My prayers continue to be with the family.
Love,
Debra
Debra Spoljaric <debrams@bjc.org>
St. Louis, MO USA - Sunday, July 13, 2003 9:53 AM CDT

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Debbie and family,
It is with great sadness that I let you know that this time of July is memorable for me for all the wrong reasons. Matthew continues to be in my thoughts and prayers and he always will be.


Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Sunday, July 13, 2003 9:32 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
I hope you find comfort in sharing you story with us. Matt is an inspiration and he'll always be looking down upon you. My prayers are with you, always!
Danielle
long island, ny usa - Sunday, July 13, 2003 2:30 AM CDT

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Dear Mrs.Hallemeier,
I have visited Matthew's website many many times and have wanted to write before this but I just could not. I lost my 20 year-old son, Chauncey Wales Jones, to leukemia on Feb 28 2001. It was the worst thing imaginable but I survived because of the tremendous love showered on our family, and because of that same love shown to my son before he died. I have experienced so much of what you have written about that I feel that I know you--I think all leukemia patients and families have a bond like no other. I wish I could tell you that getting past the one-year mark of Matthew's death will make things easier but it will not much--there will still be all those "days" that knock you for a loop. But just keep thinking how lucky you were to have him for a son--you were chosen to be his mother, chosen to have him for the time that you did, and chosen to lose him for what ever reason God had. No one can ever take away the memory of him. I think of you often with compassion and undersanding.
Grace Carlsen-Jones <graccarl@aol.com>
Mountlake Terrace, Washington - Sunday, July 13, 2003 0:36 AM CDT

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P.S. I enjoyed the new pictures, and after reading your updates went up to the top of the page and just stared into Matthew's eyes in that photo. (I hope that doesn't sound odd - I was just hurting again for him and your family.)
Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Saturday, July 12, 2003 5:59 PM CDT

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I have not been by for a couple of weeks, and just updated myself on your last two entries. I have to admit that I was shaking my head slightly, sadly thinking of how a teenage child shouldn't be thinking of how his body will be treated before being placed in a casket. And then when I read that Matthew told you how hard he tried, I started crying. And I'm still crying. What a heart wrenching thing for a child to have to say to his parents. What a heart wrenching thing for a child to even have to endure.

I read your entry about last July 4th with a bit of a smile (remember, I was crying...). And I remember that I went back and read your son's entire Journal History after I came across his CaringBridge site many months ago. I have not done that in too many sites, but your words and his strength seemed to 'captivate' me, if you will. And I remember reading about the HOT wings that Matthew tried last July 4th and it brought a smile to my face to remember that entry.

I am thinking about you a lot this month, imagining how difficult it must be for Matthew's family and friends.

May you find strength in the days ahead. Sincerely,

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Saturday, July 12, 2003 5:54 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie and Dirk, just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that we have been thinking about Mathew and the anniversery of the beginning of his eternal life. The pictures of him are sooooooo cute!!! Thank God for pictures!!! We will keep you all in our prayers.
Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler
Winfield, MO - Friday, July 11, 2003 10:59 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
How courageous your Matthew was and how courageous you are to share such a personal conversation that you had with him last year before he left this earth. I literally wept as I read your journal entry, and cannot even imagine having that conversation with my sons. You are an unbelievably strong woman, your strength comes through often on this web site. Matthew must be so proud of you. Praying for you during this difficult month.
In His love,

Debbie Nagy
Manchester, MO - Thursday, July 10, 2003 7:55 PM CDT

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Prayers are with you ALWAYS! Matthew was a special young man and so wise beyond his years.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Thursday, July 10, 2003 5:24 PM CDT

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I just found your site. It sounds like Matthew was an extraordanary young man.

I have added you to our prayers.
Jennifer Miles www.caringbridge.org/mn/deemartinson/ <jennifer.miles@thomson.com>
Minneapolis, MN USA - Thursday, July 10, 2003 3:18 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie:
I have followed Matthew and your family’s journey for some time now. I am truly sorry for your loss. What a special person and so brave, too – I am really in awe when I read your entries of his thoughts and feelings. You are an inspiration to me as I read what you all have endured and how you still carry on; puts many things into the proper perspective.

Matthew was lucky to be surrounded by so much love. Your family is in my prayers as you approach the upcoming milestone. Take care.

Jean Bass <jbass@cbburnet.com>
Minneapolis, MN USA - Thursday, July 10, 2003 12:08 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
I am sitting here with tears in my eyes reading your last journal entry. Oh I wish so that Matt never had to think about such things. He had to grow up so fast and it just isn't fair. I can't begin to imagine hearing those words come out of my son's mouth. He was/is such an amazing young man. He grasped at my heart from the first time I opened his page. When I read your entry after the 4th of July I could remember the one you were talking about from last year....the wings I remembered he wanted the hot wings!! I miss the Matthew stories and I love to hear you tell them....but some of them break my heart. I know that Matthew is hurting no more and that his life is whole, but I hate the fact that I never got to physically meet him. It really bothers me. I do know that someday I will, but I wish that I had already. Debbie, you, Dirk and the kids continue to be in my thoughts and prayers each and every day. I so wish that I could do something to take the pain away even if just for one minute. I am so sorry that I cannot do something to help you. I hope you realize how much I care about each one of you!

Matthew, I miss you a ton.......always remember YOU ARE MY HERO and I'll NEVER forget.

God bless you all.

Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, July 10, 2003 11:06 AM CDT

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Thank you for sharing your memories. I think it helps all of us who have lost a child to cancer. We have unforgetable experiences and it is important that we share these. I wanted to talk to my Steven about what to do if the worst happened but he didn't want to and I wasn't going to press him about it. So, we tried to stay positive since we didn't really know what would happen for certain. I wondered what he was thinking about the possiblility of dying. He only would say "I just want to get through this so I can get on with my life." Your conversation with Matt sounded as candid as my talks with my own son could sometimes be and I imagine we could have had a similar discussion.
Thinking of you and your family.
Steven's Mom http://www.reddlegg.com/Leukemia_info.htm
Ann <ahart@troyst.edu>
Troy, AL USA - Thursday, July 10, 2003 10:40 AM CDT

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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Your latest journal entry broke my heart and I can't even allow myself to imagine having that conversation with my boys, I'm so sorry that you did.
Ann
San Diego, CA - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 11:21 PM CDT

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Debbie,

It was wonderful to read your vivid conversation with Matthew. Maybe his gaming mind helped him think so methodically--or maybe it is the other way around! I think about last year at this time--all of us who have been following your site all along are doing the same. Our thoughts are with you. Please continue to share your feelings and memories with us.

Jill, mom to Nick age 12, AML
Jill Schield <may3656@hotmail.com>
Chicago, - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 10:35 PM CDT

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I still remember reading your entries this time last year. It has been a while since I have visited your site. For that I am sorry. I lost my father 10-31-02 to cancer. I hate what it does. I am truly sorry you have to deal with this no one should have to deal with what you and your family had to deal with. You are in my prayers.
Gail Prouse <RGProuse@aol.com>
Pittsville, MD 21850 - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 8:01 PM CDT

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One of the most emotional things we do is to re-live conversations. It can bring great joy. It can bring great heart ache.

I know a similar pain, and I am so sorry for your heart ache today. I will keep you in prayer, especially these next few weeks.
Jackson's mom, Michelle
Clear Lake, WI - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 5:52 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
I have not been to Matt's page in a long time...something drew me here this morning. I am so grateful I stopped to read your words. My son died last November. I remember reading Matthew's story last summer while we were at transplant in St. Jude with Robert. Robert and my oldest daughter had been following Matt's story through this page. Robert was so encouraged to read and see your son; I know it encouraged him to see a boy in the same situation as himself...Robert had a MUD/BMT as well-relapsed pre-b ALL. I avoided telling him any of Matthew's plight when he relapsed, Robert's transplant was on July 10th last summer...I continued to follow along. Your story tore at my heart very deeply as you can imagine. Now reading of the true absolute bravery that your son and family showed in the face of complete and unimaginable adversity is remarkable. Robert never spoke of his dying; he seemed to believe no matter what he would be healed and back to his old self again...even though he knew what would happen if his BMT did not work. It was his way; he was only 11-the maturity of your son speaks volumes...I CANNOT imagine how you live with those memories; they must teach you so much about life, and at the same time haunt you. Those memories of the last days of our sons lives do haunt us in a way; yet we cherish them knowing they were our last known times with them here on earth. I do not dare compare our stories, pain or plights...but I want you to know that you give me encouragement and strength as I read of your journey...we have both lost sons in similar situations yet totally different. I understand this. Thank you for knowing that at this time you could share those last conversations with your son on this page, they touched my heart and I am certain touched many. I hope that in sharing them with others you will be able to find peace along the way...Peace and courage to keep going--you and Dirk. God bless you both and your entire family. Peace to you all, Kathy Charlton--Robert's MOM! www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel
Kathy Charlton <katherino1@aol.com>
West Palm Beach , FL US - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 10:46 AM CDT

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"Gods Finger Touched Him And He Slept"




*HUGS*
- Wednesday, July 9, 2003 9:24 AM CDT

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I say prayers for you and all the caringbridge families every night - tonight you will get extras - I am so sorry that you have to go through this
*
- Tuesday, July 8, 2003 11:04 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie-Just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you.
pat <pgreen828@aol.com>
Jacksonville, fl USA - Tuesday, July 8, 2003 8:03 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie just wanted to stop in and say Hi. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayer's. I know it is really hard at this time. We all miss Matt. and I wanted you to know I was thinking of you. Take care. I know God will hold you close during this tough time.
Love, Mary
Mary Stephens <mary_stephens@prodigy.net>
Florissant, Mo. USA - Tuesday, July 8, 2003 3:20 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie
Thinking of you all always, but special thoughts are with you all, with Matthew's anniversary of becoming an angel approaching.
I love reading your stories of Matthew. I remember vividly reading of the hot wings last year!
Such beautiful photos of him on the photo page too!
I dreamt of you and Dirk last night.....that we were meeting again!....one day! I can't wait to check out your scrapbooking!
Our hearts and thoughts are with you all. Please give our love to Jan & Don.
Take care
Loads of love & cuddles,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany
XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family
Melbourne, Vic. AUSTRALIA - Tuesday, July 8, 2003 10:32 AM CDT

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I love the new pics of Matthew. I wish I could have met him!

Thinking of you all.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, - Tuesday, July 8, 2003 1:16 AM CDT

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I hope as the memories of Matthew become especially strong these next few weeks they also bring you peace. I will be thinking of you as we both approach important days in our son's lives.
Roberta Kishbaugh
- Tuesday, July 8, 2003 0:57 AM CDT

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Praying for strength,peace and comfort for all of you.
Always remembering Matthew.
Alice-Aunt to Angel Janie <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Monday, July 7, 2003 10:55 PM CDT

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Hello Mr. & Mrs. Hallemeier,
Just wanted you to know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for keeping us posted on how you are doing. God bless you.
Robin Porzelt (Matt's 4th grade teacher)
- Monday, July 7, 2003 9:22 PM CDT

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Oh Debbie,
I just love the new photos. Especially the ones that trace Matthew's years until he got sick. I look at my Matt's school pictures and try to see if there was ever a clue - was there ever a time when he didn't look "well." But we know that this terrible disease takes our children when we least expect it. You are in my thoughts tonight. We just got through the first anniversary of our Matt's passing and it was tough. Not to say that every day without our boys isn't tough. Take care.
Noelle Conover
Matthew's Website
<nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Monday, July 7, 2003 6:46 PM CDT

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Debbie,
You don't know me although I have checked out your website many many times this is my first time signing your guestbook. I came across your site when I was leaving a message for Erin and Annie. First let me start by saying how sorry I feel for your loss. I myself do not have any children as of yet, although I do volunteer work for St Jude Children's Research Hospital, and have for about 16 years. My heart goes out to all of these kids as they fight to live and be saved. I feel like I know Matthew as well as my heart goes out to you in what you are facing in the next few weeks as well as everyday. Losing a child can not be easy. I hope that you read this message and find comfort in all the maeeasges and maybe we can chat somethime
Karen Viteritti <kviteritti@yahoo.com>
Florham Park, NJ USA - Monday, July 7, 2003 3:33 PM CDT

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Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you. It breaks my heart to think of what you are going through right now. The last memories are the hardest to recount. I am praying for you.
Caroline Gallucci <carolinew@hardingrace.com>
Benton, AR - Monday, July 7, 2003 11:02 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
I very much enjoyed seeing Matthew grow up through the photos you posted. What a handsome young man! I drop in occassionally to see how you are doing and your journal entries always bless me. I know that this is an extremely difficult month for you and your family and I want you to know that I will be praying for all of you. Matthew will never be forgotten.
Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Monday, July 7, 2003 10:42 AM CDT

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Hello from Minnesota,

I came upon Matthew's page from Amy's site. What a special young man you have there!! You put into words so clearly how you feel, how Matthew felt and how much you ache for and miss Matthew. Our thoughts are with you as you come upon a very hard day later this month. God bless you and your family, keep the spirit and know we all care too!!
sandy kleinfehn <klinfin6@meltel.net>
melrose, mn - Monday, July 7, 2003 6:27 AM CDT

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The pictures are wonderful. And I enjoyed reading the story about the hotwings! It's truly hard when the kids get older and go their own way, especially on the holidays, but then to have Matthew no longer there, in heaven watching over you, has to be more painful than I can even imagine.
I really enjoyed reading your stories about Matthew. I will be thinking of you and hope your week goes well.
Kathy Haws <firecap.wife@verizon.net>
Thousand Oaks, CA - Monday, July 7, 2003 2:42 AM CDT

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Debbie, I know your heart is aching, there's a huge emptiness in your life now. Those school pictures are so cute, but there should be so so many more....
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Monday, July 7, 2003 0:50 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
The pictures are beautiful. What a difference steroids make. your journal and the pictures through the years just tear at my heart. I'm touched deeply by him and you. Love, Robyn
Quito's Mom <caringbridge.com/ca/quito>
San Diego, - Sunday, July 6, 2003 11:19 PM CDT

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Debbie, I for one, NEVER get tired of hearing what you have to say. I visit not only your page but the page of other grieving parents and family members precisely because I want to hear every word they have to say--it makes me a more committed Christian. I cannot pray effectively for people if I don't know what they are dealing with and I SO cherish honesty so that I know exactly how to pray when I am lifting you up to our Lord. Thank you so much for signing in on my site too. Please know that you are very much in my thoughts and prayers and I love you as my sister in Christ. Please continue to be honest about how you are feeling just as you have been and I promise to lift you up to the Lord in earnest and never tire of hearing a sister (or brother) in Christ share her heart. Blessings to you.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Sunday, July 6, 2003 11:12 PM CDT

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I wanted to tell you thank you for stopping by Jackson's page. It meant a lot to me, and you made my day more special. I believe that is what we are here for....to support each other and maybe to be that blessing that someone needs on the days we need it most.

Jack has been gone for 2 years, and most times it feels like the world has gone on....which it has, and many days I feel like the same as 2 years ago.

The grieving doesn't go away....it just changes.

Many who used to sign in on the guestbook, have stopped. It gets hard some times to update, because the story is a similar one. We miss our son. I know that you do also. But many people care and love to read on your memories of your son, or to stop by to let you know that he is remembered...and you are thought of.

I will be thinking of you, especially these next few weeks.

I thank you again for taking the time to drop me a line. :)
Jackson's mom, Michelle
Clear Lake, WI - Sunday, July 6, 2003 10:45 PM CDT

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Thinking of you, and saying special prayers for your family.
Jacqueline <leticiaci@yahoo.com>
Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands - Sunday, July 6, 2003 8:51 PM CDT

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Debbie- Just checking in on you. I know this has got to be an even harder time for you -please know you are in my thoughts. Thank you for signing Mitchell's webpage and taking the time to read about what's going on with him. You are such a thoughtful person.
Diane (Mitchell's mom) <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, fl - Sunday, July 6, 2003 8:30 PM CDT

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To Matt Hallemeier's family ~
I do not know you, nor do you know me. My name is Gabrielle; I am thirteen and I am going to be a freshman next year at Mt. Lebanon High School - Matthew Conover was one of my middle school classmates. I can't fathom what you are feeling right now, and my heart goes out to you. Today being Matt Conover's one-year anniversary, I can't get my mind off of anything but him. In fact, I'm sitting here at my computer, well past midnight, and I was reading over Noelle Conover's guestbook when a web link caught my eye. The curious person I am, I clicked on it and was immediately touched by what I read, as I was touched by MGC's story. I saw that your son faught an excruciating battle, one that should not have been brought upon him. It is so unfortunate that his life was cut so short. And, again, although I have never met you or your son Matthew, you will now remain in my prayers, along with the Conovers. Thank you for touching me in the way that you have...God Bless.
Gabrielle <ajwilliott@adelphia.net>
Pgh, PA USA - Saturday, July 5, 2003 11:33 PM CDT

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thoughts and prayers are with you today and always. Do not ever apologize for missing your son or repeating stories or thoughts about him - it helps me appreciate every new memory that I make with my child and a dose of reality in that it could be taken away at any time. I admire you so very much for your strength and courage-your children are very lucky to have a mother like you.
*
- Saturday, July 5, 2003 9:49 PM CDT

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I think of you all of the time, but especially yesterday. I remember that July 4 was one of the last days that Matthew felt well enough to be up and about. I burned Matthew's candle last evening. We had a barbecue with 10 other families at our house. I felt so sad when I got ready to go to bed and had to put out Matthew's candle. We love you!! Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Saturday, July 5, 2003 4:38 PM CDT

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Thank you for sharing Matthew's life with us. I do not know you, but feel the joy with each word you have written about the life of your angel. May God continue to be with your family.
Brenda Ladell <ladell@cox-internet.com>
Paris, Tx USA - Friday, July 4, 2003 11:37 PM CDT

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Hey Debbie & family,



HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, you guys! I'm thinking of ya'll :)

Girlie's Page
Janice's Page

Hugs & kisses,
XOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Friday, July 4, 2003 8:24 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,Dirk,and family,

I can't say I know how you are feeling right now,b/c I don't.I can't say everything will be alright,b,c it's not.(right now) What I can say is ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD,OF THEM WHO LOVE THE LORD!I have a seven year old son with cancer,so I can say I know how you felt when Matt and your family was battling this thing.I really don't know what to say,except Hold on,to
god's unchanging hand.He nor I have forgot about you,Matt,and your entire family.You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,Lisa(Jordan's Mom)

Lisa
Birmingham, Al - Wednesday, July 2, 2003 5:04 PM CDT

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Hey there, I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family during this difficult month.
God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Wednesday, July 2, 2003 4:01 PM CDT

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dear Debbie,
I've been thinking about you alot, somehow it was a last june or may that I "met" you and Matt and your family through this site or a.l.l.-kids list. your journal entry on the 27th goes right to my heart, thank you again for sharing, Love and prayers, Robyn
Quito's Mom <caringbridge.com/ca/quito>
- Tuesday, July 1, 2003 8:53 PM CDT

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Debbie, Julie, Chris and Dirk,
Mathew would have been very proud of the way you continue to honour his memory by sharing your feelings with other cancer parents, and indeed the rest of the world. I know that you would give away all of the kind words you have been given on this site if you could have your Matthew back but because we can't do that for you, we will all continue to say how much Matthew's story has inspired us. In many ways, I wish I had never heard about Matthew. I don't mean that in a selfish way. I mean that I wish he had never had to suffer the way he did, but I could not think of a more loving and kind family environment for a child with cancer to live. You are all an inspiration to us and I am sure your friends and family are very proud of the way you have coped with the such an open loss. I will be thinking about you all, this night and every night especially as Matthew's anniversary draws nearer.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Tuesday, July 1, 2003 5:55 PM CDT

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I was thinking about Matthew today. I wanted to come by and say that I pray for your family. God puts Matthew on my mind almost everyday. I will remember you this month. God Bless!

www.caringbridge.org/mo/hollyemoore
Anita
Sikeston, MO - Tuesday, July 1, 2003 4:30 PM CDT

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We need new pictures of Julie

I hope you're having fun Zof.

GG
gamer
- Tuesday, July 1, 2003 2:11 PM CDT

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Debbie, Dirk, Julie, Brad, Christopher, and of course, Matthew,

I just found this journal and spent the last 3 hours reading it (I'm at work and should be working). I am so touched by the journey that your family had to make. I know Matthew is in a better place now with no more pain, and I am so sorry that your family has to continue going through the pain of him not being here. I just want you to know that I'm so sorry for your loss and I'll be thinking about you every day, now that I've read your story.


Jodi <jodisgreen@aol.com>
Bloomfield, NJ USA - Tuesday, July 1, 2003 12:56 AM CDT

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I am a friend of Liz Cruickshank. I too have an angel Tim who earned his wings on 22nd Jan 2003. I loved the poem 'Remembering' by Elizabeth Dent, how very true. If you don't mind I too would like to use it. Tears do help to heal, something about water - we need it to survive, water to make things grow, new life, cleansing etc. You will never get over loosing a child and you have to work through the grief. I see a mothers' grief like child birth, two opposites I know but a 'labour of love'. Thankyou for sharing Matthew's website, it has been a priviledge. I don't know why these things happen, I feel Tim was sent for a reason and I have learnt so much from him and he was needed elsewhere to continue his good work. Tim was born special, had a special placid spiritual side to him. One day I pray we will find the answer why. Things happen for a reason and who am I to question them. Will light a candle on the 22nd July and remember you all. Take care and God Bless. Liz says hi.
Gerri
Lysterfield, Vic Australia - Monday, June 30, 2003 5:07 PM CDT

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Hello. I have to say that I agree with the fact that Matthew was courageous in his decision to come home on Hospice. I did not learn of Matthew's site until after he had passed away, and remember the night I sat and read his ENTIRE journal history. I remember how I felt when I learned about his own decision to come home on Hospice, and how brave I felt he must have been. I have not read too many entire Journals of the other CaringBridge sites I visit. I'm not sure why I was "drawn" to it with Matthew's, except I felt that this teenager (most of the other sites were of younger children where Mom's & Dad's make most of the decisions) was teaching me valuable life lessons, even after his passing.

I truly find your site inspirational, and I think of your family often. I will especially this next 23 days...

Sincerely,
Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Monday, June 30, 2003 2:56 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
I saw your website for Matthew months ago and did not sign the guestbook but wanted to now after returning to see how you and your family are doing. I'm sorry to have taken this long to say something. You have expressed in your journal entries so much of what I have been thinking about my own loss. Thank you for sharing it on the website. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who is feeling the same way. March 25, 2002, the day before your son had his BMT, my 20 year old son, (and only child) Steven, died following his BMT. Steven was diagnosed with ALL (Philadelphia chromosome +) in August of 2001 at age 19. He was a full time college student and had been experiencing headaches, leg pains, dizziness, etc. when I took him to our doctor and asked if they would also check his blood. He had his BMT in Dec. 2001 and I never got to take him out of that unit. Still, I wonder what caused it (where we lived, something in the water?), what could we have done?, should I or could I have taken him to a better facility for transplant?, was there too much chemo?, was there not enough donor marrow?, does the donor know what happened?, does he know that we are grateful still for what he did? These questions continue to haunt me and I miss my dear Steven terribly every day. I am grateful that you were able to continue to update your website following your loss. We created a website for Steven but I couldn't bring myself to update it for so long following his death and now we rarely get a posting to our message board. I am thinking of you during this upcoming month and I know that each anniversary day is another milestone for us. There are so many dates that will forever stay in our minds. Here is Steven's memorial website: http://www.reddlegg.com/Leukemia_info.htm
or you can go to www.reddlegg.com and click on Leukemia links. We liked the poem by Elizabeth Dent that you have on Matthew's site so much that we added it to ours a long time ago and we hope you don't mind.
Take care,
Ann <ahart@troyst.edu>
Troy, AL USA - Monday, June 30, 2003 11:18 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie!

I just wanted to stop and and let you know that I'm thinking about you, especially as we near the start of July. I know that it's going to be a long and difficult month for you, but I'm praying for you and the entire family - this month, and always!


Justine Germaine <jfgermaine@hotmail.com>
Madison, WI USA - Monday, June 30, 2003 8:10 AM CDT

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Good morning Debbie, Just a quick to note to let you know I checked on you and that your family will be in my thoughts as you enter the period leading up to Matthews one year anniversary.
Have a good week.
Mary
Manchester , MO - Monday, June 30, 2003 7:47 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
Just checking in again and thought I'd leave a note this time. I loved the waterbug story! I'll be thinking of you on Matthew's anniversary. You're on my mind a lot, and I wish you and your family the best! I love you!
Your Calif. cousin, Barb
Barbara Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, CA USA - Monday, June 30, 2003 4:18 AM CDT

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Hey Debbie,
I think I am gonna cry reading your update!!! I am keeping your whole family in my prayers as you approach Matt's 1 year anniversary...my thoughts are always with you..keep strong..

Girlie's Page
Janice's Page

Lots of LOVE,
XOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Sunday, June 29, 2003 9:07 AM CDT

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Debbie,

I've checked your site so often and I apologize for not signing in as I should have. I remember last year when your family was so deep inside this ordeal.

Yesterday, my 16 1/2 year old son had a wreck in the Mustang I had bought him about six weeks ago. He wasn't hurt (Thank God!), but both air bags inflated and it scared us both to death. Initially, he felt this was the worst thing that could possibly happen to him. No one was hurt.

I came home and showed him Matt's site. I reminded him that what we had to deal with was metal. A car. It could be fixed and/or replaced. He knew I had been following Matt's site for well over a year. I told him that Matt never had the chance to drive a car. I reminded him of how blessed he was and that whatever our material losses, we could handle it. We could replace the metal of a car. We could never replace him. It was a perspective kind of thing.

So he was sore today and that airbag left him with a red face and a sore shoulder, but it wasn't permanent. I reminded him of how very fortunate he was. About ten minutes after his wreck, another wreck occurred on a nearly busy street and someone died. I told him that while he mourned the loss of his Mustang, another family was grappling with the unexpected death of a much loved one. What a huge difference. As he reflected on what Matt had been through and endured, he realized he had no room at all to complain.

I write a "Single...With Children" column for several Texas newspapers, even though I live in North Carolina. He realized the difference. I also realized that I should have signed in more often because I check your site so often.

My prayers are with you through these difficult days. I'm thankful that Justin was unscathed through this accident. I'm humbly grateful I just wish that no one, Matthew especially, never had to take on the monumental task of learning what the end of life was about. It's not fair to us on this earthly plain, but in time I think we will know the reasons.

Please know that we are thinking and praying for all of you and are in admiration of how you have handled these past few months with such dignity and grace.

I am in awe of your strength. We all are.

Blessings to you during the next difficult days as the anniversary of his death grows near. I think of all of you so often.

With deep respect and love,

Susie Parker
Susie Parker <suzyp2660@aol.com>
Wilmington, NC US - Saturday, June 28, 2003 10:13 PM CDT

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I wa thinking about you guys and actually all that was happening a year ago. I will continue to pray for you and your family. May you find the peace that passes all unerstanding- especially in the days ahead.
Margie <gscrazy@juno.com>
Ft. Lewis, WA USA - Saturday, June 28, 2003 11:28 AM CDT

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You've been on my mind lately.....just want you to know once more how your Matthew and his story as related through you touched my life. I am indebted. Your family remains in my prayers.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDS
emmie
River Grove, IL USA - Saturday, June 28, 2003 7:15 AM CDT

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Debbie,
I love the waterbug story. We don't know what's in store for us, but can take comfort in knowing that all of our questions will be answered one day. Your family remains in my thoughts and prayers.
God bless,
Lisa Agee <www.caringbridge.com/page/ross>
Camden, AL - Friday, June 27, 2003 11:54 PM CDT

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I have just found your web site and read your history up til the day your son died. My son also died last Oct. he relapsed only 80 days out of transplant and yes he also had all. He was 13. I am with you the stats are definately not what they claim to be. Not with what I have seen with the kids that were transplanted with him. I never thought my son would relapse so quickly out of transplant. They never told us that this could happen. The bmt drs never had any contact with us once we went home. We live in RI and he had his transplant in MN. Mn is suppose to be one of the number one transplant centers. I did not see it. Our drs here were always very wonderful. I question alot of things that the drs there did. I know alot of other parents from transplant also question things. I will try to write to you again. Too late tonight to go into much else. I will tell you though I do not see alot of happy stories on these caringbridge sites, do you? Take care
Ruth Tromb ino <alandruth@myexcel.com>
Westerly, RI - Friday, June 27, 2003 11:11 PM CDT

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I will be praying for your family this month as you come to the date. I pray for strength. Keep strong.
Love always Amy*

Amy’s Fight
Amy Mareck
- Friday, June 27, 2003 8:53 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
We`re thinking about you! We really miss you!
LOVE,
Elizabeth and Kim
Elizabeth & Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO USA - Friday, June 27, 2003 7:11 PM CDT

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I think about your family often, and the next month will bring many thought and prayers your way but all I can say to explain how I feel is that reading your page has made me appreciate how fragile life can be. I have a huge respect for Matthew and he has inspired me to enjoy some things in life that I would probably have found boring or tedious before. I realise that walking to work in the rain is not the most fun thing to do, but I know how much people would love to be hearing about Matthew having boring days walking around in the rain. Thank you for continuing to share Matthew with us.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Friday, June 27, 2003 5:39 PM CDT

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Hello,
This is the first time I have visited your site. We too have went through bmt at Children's and know the people you are talking about. We are post 9 months and so far so good but as I read your site along with others who have not been as fortunate it breaks my heart so much. You sound very Christian and I really enjoyed the "Water Bug" story, how true it is with life. I will keep you in my prayers.
Lee Ann(Kristan's mommy) www.caringbridge.org/mo/kristangrace
- Friday, June 27, 2003 3:32 PM CDT

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Praying for you and wishing you the best.
A Friend
- Friday, June 27, 2003 3:22 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
I loved the water bug story. It has a very special meaning. I check on you just about every day to see how you are doing. Your children are some of the luckiest children in the world - to have a mom a special as you. Matthew knew that too. I can see he lives in you. Please take care and know I am praying for you.
Cindy Crider
Houston, TX USA - Friday, June 27, 2003 2:20 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
Wanted to drop a quick note to let you know that I'd been here. It's been a crazy week, but I've been here each day, just hadn't taken the time to sign in. I'll be off the computer until Monday...leaving for another ball tourney this weekend in Peoria. Your family has been weighing heavy on my heart these last few days. I'm hoping things are ok with all of you. I went back last week to re-read some entries from the gamers. That Matthew.....he just touched people from all walks of life. I certainly know he left marks on this heart that will never go away. I'll be back to check in on Monday....until then this is sent with my hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, June 26, 2003 4:00 PM CDT

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Good morning Debbie, I haven't signed in for awhile, but wanted you to know I check on you and pray for you to find peace without your beloved Matthew.
Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester , MO - Thursday, June 26, 2003 7:51 AM CDT

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I ran across your site while visiting another CaringBridge family and thought I'd sign in and say hello. I am very sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my prayers.
Maria <mariaw19@hotmail.com>
NJ - Wednesday, June 25, 2003 12:22 AM CDT

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Hey Debbie :)
Just checking in..I hope are having lovely summer weather and days...thinking of you and your family!

Girlie's Page
Janice's Page

Hugs,
XOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Wednesday, June 25, 2003 6:50 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie and Dirk - I remember so well reading about Matthew at this time of year, and how heartbreaking it was -even for a person who did not know him. You and Matthew are often in my prayers and thoughts.
Peace,
Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Darlington, England - Wednesday, June 25, 2003 6:27 AM CDT

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I came by to say hello. There hasn't been an update since I was last here but I just thought I'd drop in and sign the guestbook anyway. Hope you are all well.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Wednesday, June 25, 2003 4:19 AM CDT

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Hi there. I sincerely apologize for taking so long to get back here to sign in. Things have been so amazingly crazy lately with me trying to keep up with the 500+ families I follow. But, I want you to know that it certainly doesn't mean that you aren't in my thoughts and prayers. I continually lift you up to the Lord every time He puts you on my heart--and that is often. Blessings and please know that if you ever need anything that I can help with, email me--I'll do whatever I can for you. Much love to you in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC, - Tuesday, June 24, 2003 2:16 PM CDT

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I am the Lord your God, who holds your right hand, and I tell you , "Don't be afraid. I will help you."
Isaiah 41:13

I am praying for you.
Doreen
CF, IA - Tuesday, June 24, 2003 8:26 AM CDT

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Just dropped by to say hi, You don't know me, however I started visiting the caringbridge sites around the time of Matt's passing. I remember reading all the guestbook entries from all of his gaming buddies on the net and thinking to myself what a wonderful tool the internet can be, especially to our children who may perhaps through illness or other reasons do not have the same opportunities for sociallizing in the "normal" way.
It was awesome reading the accolades your son received and I was so thankful for you all that so many people took the time to drop a line of condolences.
I often think of Matt and his influence that he had on so many people far and wide.
I pray for you all each day, although I know that the heartche will always remain, knowing that our loved ones made a difference in the lives of others.
Best Regards
gail <mum_41@hotmail.com>
toronto, on Canada - Monday, June 23, 2003 5:54 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
Just a quick note to let you know we were thinking of you and Dirk. I stop by to check on you and the family frequently, I hope today's been a better day.
Love and Miss you lots!
Michelle and Chris Hallemeier
Michelle Hallemeier <mmathews74@hotmail.com>
Orlando, Fl USA - Monday, June 23, 2003 12:14 AM CDT

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Hey Debbie,
Just wanted to come by and say hello and to let you know that I am always thinking of you and your family...I am keeping you in my prayers always! I hope you have a wonderful summer...

Girlie's Page
Janice's Page

Love & hugs,
XOXOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Sunday, June 22, 2003 9:48 PM CDT

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Hi! I was just at another site and saw Debbie's guestbook entry and decided to stop by again. Your journal entries seem so honest. So heartfelt. I don't know what the right word is, but they just make me stop and "think" for a minute, and thank God for my healthy family. I hope that doesn't sound wrong. I feel that your son has a legacy beyond his time here on Earth. It is so obvious that he has touched many lives, and I continue to think of your family frequently.

Take care, and God Bless!
Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Sunday, June 22, 2003 3:22 PM CDT

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Just wanted to drop in and say "HI" and let you know I am thinking of you. I enjoyed the pictures of Matt's 17th birthday. What a wonderful idea that was! Hope your weekend is going well.
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Sunday, June 22, 2003 1:03 PM CDT

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To Matt's family: I was thinking about you today. I wanted to stop to tell you so. Your entry touched my heart. Your son sounds very special...as I know that he is. My son Jack had acute lyphoblastic leukemia also. He passed at age 3 1/2. It is amazing how fast the days go by, and yet it seems like yesterday since he was here. Time is a strange concept. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace & blessings to you*
Michelle
Momma of Jackson Ben Espeseth, ^forever 3^ <http://www.caringbridge.com/wi/jacksons.journey>
Clear Lake, WI - Saturday, June 21, 2003 12:26 AM CDT

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Debbie and Dirk,
Just wanted to let you know I still stop by every now and then. I am especially thinking of you all as Matthew's anniversary approaches. I love the new web page and the poem--I do truly believe that Matt is with you (us) every day. I hope you still feel how much Matthew has touch many, many people's lives and can feel good about that as Sunday approaches.
Many prayers and thoughts coming your way....Debra
Debra Spoljaric
St. Louis, MO - Friday, June 20, 2003 9:25 PM CDT

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I "happened" upon your page as a link from a friends site. I often just check in on several children but rarely sign their book. Today I feel the need to let you know that even strangers care about you and your family. I will continue to pray for you. I hope that you find the peace and rest that you need. God Bless You!
Rhonda Byars <jbyars@austin.rr.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Friday, June 20, 2003 5:45 PM CDT

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Debbie and Family,
Just wanted you to know that I am still thinking about you all. We have never met, but I just have the need to check on you every now and then to be sure you are doing OK. It's comforting to me to read your entries and know you are having some good days. And I suppose it's feels good to know that people you have never met are supporting you from afar. Matthew was an incredible son and you and Dirk incredible parents. I will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers...Deb

Deb Nowicki
Lenexa, KS USA - Friday, June 20, 2003 4:51 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie. Just thought I'd check in to see how you are doing and say hello. You are always in my prayers.
Your husband and mine share the same birthday.
Take care of yourself and drop me a note sometime.
Peace and prayers heading your way.
Love,
Judy
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il USA - Wednesday, June 18, 2003 10:33 PM CDT

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Debbie and family. I know that I don't know you very well but going back through the entrys it's like I've know you forever. I pray now that Matthew is having a good time in heaven pain free. I continue to also pray for strength for your family. That poem that you had on there made me cry, but it's good for people to see. keep your head up
Love Amy*

Amy’s Fight
Amy Mareck
- Wednesday, June 18, 2003 7:03 PM CDT

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i have not been to yur site for quite awhile so it took me some time to catch up today. I liked the story your minister told about JESUS and your son. I feel it could easily be true. I too lost a son many years ago and the missing will never go away, but I can remember the good times better now than the bad.... he left his fammily with a lot of good memories as I know your son did too. thinking of ya......
Sharon <mopgal@hotmail.com>
Dardanelle, ar - Wednesday, June 18, 2003 6:12 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie. Still checking in on you all. Thanks for keeping the updates coming.
LeeAnn Barnard <lsbarnard@hotmail.com>
Selma, IN USA - Wednesday, June 18, 2003 1:50 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie and Family,
Just checking in to say hello and to let you know that although I never met you or Matthew personally (I'm from ped-onc), I miss him terribly. I want you to know that I have Matthew's website bookmarked and I check it periodically and think about you and your family and continue to keep you in our prayers. I can't imagine how difficult Mother's and Father's Day must have been for you both. Please know that Matthew will never be forgotten - not even by strangers like us who never had the opportunity to meet him.
Sheri (Ashton's mom) www.wherethereishope.com <snschaffer@cox.net>
Vienna, VA - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 9:36 PM CDT

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Hi, my name is Betsy Sanford. I learned about your son through another website. I want you to know that I will be praying for your family. I lost my son one year ago tomorrow to a malignant brain tumor. His website is www.joesanford.com I believe as parents who have lost children, we need to become "prayer partners" and pray for each other, as losing a child is so very, very difficult. But, I do know that our sons have met and are enjoying their "new life" in the arms of their heavenly Mother and Father - and I am consoled by knowing that fact. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers. Blessings.
Betsy Sanford
Laytonsville, MD - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 2:30 PM CDT

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I came across your site from Alexandria's. I found Alexandria's through Janie Sims - our sweet friend who lost her fight w/leukemia in January. Janie's caringbridge page opened my eyes to ALL of the MANY children who are battling cancer. It seems so many of the children I have been following are losing their fight. It is UNBELIEVABLE! I am so sorry for your pain. It seems so unfair. I will pray for you. I will pray for peace and days that bring happiness. Thank you for sharing your preacher's dream with us. That sounds like the Jesus I know. :)
Tammy Holston <tsholston@aol.com>
B'ham, AL - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 1:15 PM CDT

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I visit your site regularly and find it hard to know what to say, so often I don't sign, but wanted you to know I think of you and your family and hope your journey will some how become easier.
Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester , MO - Tuesday, June 17, 2003 7:26 AM CDT

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It is the little moments of kindness like that shown by the usher who was there to help Matthew, and the lady who wrote you the letter that restore our faith in our friends to be with us during our hard times. I am sure Matthew would be happy that you remember his smile so clearly. I know I do, and I've only seen it in photographs.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Monday, June 16, 2003 5:17 PM CDT

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Dear Hallemeier Family,

I found your link on Janice's mom's site. I sure wish I had known Matthew and had been able to follow him. I will take the time to read through his journal pages. What a wonderful young man, your Matthew!

I can only imagine how bittersweet yesterday was for Dirk. I do believe that Matthew was watching down on his dad!

I follow 24 CaringBridge families, regularly and sometimes more. I will continue to check in you all of you!

Have a great day!

Love, ((((HUGS))))), and prayers for you all,
Eva Shimmons <KWfan4ever@yahoo.com>
Marcellus, MI - Monday, June 16, 2003 5:00 PM CDT

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Debbie, thinking of you all today. Yesterday was a struggle at our house too...I understand. Andy loved computer 'war games' and video games. I have to chuckle when I picture Matt with his new student! :) God bles
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) www.caringbridge.org/il/legoman
- Monday, June 16, 2003 8:48 AM CDT

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Thinking about you, as always!
Justine Germaine <jfgermaine@hotmail.com>
Madison, WI - Monday, June 16, 2003 8:05 AM CDT

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My prayers are with you and your family. You have so many wonderful memories. I'm glad to hear about your scrapbooks. I plan to work on that this summer. I love the memories that pictures evoke. WOW just like it was yesterday. HOLD those memories and may God hold you for ever and always.
Doreen
CF, IA - Monday, June 16, 2003 7:53 AM CDT

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Hi there! I LOVE the poem on the front... anyhow, I struggle alot with why our kids have to get ill, die... It bothers me so much. I hope that you have attained some peace in your life. Knowing that he lives on should help. yet... you must miss him so. I wish I could wash away your pain... Love, Laura
.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Saturday, June 14, 2003 11:02 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie, I come and 'check on you' from time to time, but I'm one of those who don't usually write anything. I know the fear of losing my child and I can feel the pain in your words, but I don't really know what you're going through, so I don't know what to say. But I am thinking of you and Matthew. I read your messages everyday (unfortunately like you said, it's during times of crisis when we pay the most attention) and he seemed to be so strong until the end. I hope it gets better. I believe Matthew is watching over you.
Vicki, mama to Duncan, ALL-Kids <http://www.caringbridge.org/page/duncan/>
Copper Canyon, TX - Friday, June 13, 2003 10:00 AM CDT

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Debbie, Dirk, Chris and Julie.
I'd like to tell you that for a year now, I've thought about Matt and all of you constantly. I sincerely have. In all honesty, I was struck at the consistency and intensity of those thoughts. I believe it's because I felt so sad Matt and for all of you. Through personal losses I too have been brought to my knees in pain. I've seen my mom try to cope with having lost 2 children. Truly I don't believe there is any greater loss than that of a child. I'd like you to also know, that I really did want to make a difference in Matt's life. I know that I was not successful in that, and perhaps that's what still bothers me. I'm not sure. Please know that you remain in my prayers and within my heart. Much love to all of you.
Vicki Cooper (Pattonville High School) <victoriastl@hotmail.com>
Maryland Hts, MO USA - Friday, June 13, 2003 9:09 AM CDT

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debbie,
Not a day goes by that I dont think of Matt or your family. My thougts and prayers are with you. Happy belated birthday to Dirk. Talk to you soon.
Mary Beck <megrant26@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, mo - Thursday, June 12, 2003 6:21 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie. I just wanted you to know that I still visit your website regularly and still think about Matthew all the time, although I never knew him. Im sorry I dont always sign the guestbook, I guess I dont realize how much it means to you to have people sign it. So I will try and do that more often because I truly do care about your family.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, - Thursday, June 12, 2003 0:52 AM CDT

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Hello Debbie and Dirk, I am always asking my daughter JoAnn Gileza how the two of you are doing. Hope to meet you next time we visit JoAnn and her family. When we were at their house in May I hoped I would get the time to meet you both, When in the back yard I looked over to your house hoping to see you. But always wondering how you must feel being in such a big home and lost without Matthew. My heart goes out to the two of you. But as you so many times have said in this journal, Matthew is watching over you. He is free of pain and living well with Jesus. Today I just felt like sending you this little message. Take Care- Eva
Eva Parenti <eva.parenti@delwebb.com>
Summerfield, Fla Marion - Wednesday, June 11, 2003 12:32 AM CDT

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Hi. I found your website through other caringbridge sites and I was so moved by Matthews story that I read the entire journal history today. I have been fighting back tears while trying to get some work done. What an amazing battle and you all sound like an amazing family. I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you all in my thoughts.

Victoria
Leigh, UK - Wednesday, June 11, 2003 11:42 AM CDT

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debbie,
just wanted you to know that i do look in on you from time to time and think about you as our similar journey was so close in time...i know this time of year is difficult (in it's own way)...i'm walking along the same path...sending a hug...
anne <ajlprescott@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, June 11, 2003 11:42 AM CDT

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I'm one of the guilty ones for not leaving a note everytime I check in on how you are doing. I'm sorry-you are thought about everyday! I don't even know you, but I feel like I do through your journals and trials. God bless you and know that you are thought of and prayed for daily!
Karen
Minneapolis, Mn. - Tuesday, June 10, 2003 10:23 PM CDT

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I am back again. I was pleased to see an entry in the guestbook from one of Matthew's FLF friends. I know you have written that they helped him to find a place to belong when he didn't feel too great because of his illness. It is nice to know that they remember him too...
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Tuesday, June 10, 2003 5:44 PM CDT

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You don't know me but I was linked to your website from a friend of mine battling leukemia. I was touched by what I have read so far and wanted to send love and prayers to Matthew and your family. May the love of others and the happy memories of Matthew ease your pain.
Sarah Houghton
Stoughton, MA - Tuesday, June 10, 2003 4:12 PM CDT

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Just checking in. Blessings to your family!
Cindy Wright - Tennessee
- Tuesday, June 10, 2003 3:45 PM CDT

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Debbie,
Just wanted you to know that I was here and that I continue to hold you all close in my heart and in my prayers. I miss Matthew myself, so I can only imagine how you feel. He was one extra special kid and I can't wait until the day that I can really "meet" him in our Father's home. I sent you an e-mail last week, I don't know if you received it or not. I hope that you and Dirk were able to try and enjoy his birthday yesterday.....I was thinking about you. God bless you all.
Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, June 10, 2003 7:36 AM CDT

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Even nearly a year later, those of us in the FLF or greater Half-Life mod community in general still think of Matt from time to time. I honestly cannot imagine the thoughts that must still remain, or the sense of loss that the family must have. I simply wish to remind everyone that Matt touched a lot of people in a community of literally millions, and helped a lot of us in little ways.

Take care, and thank you for sharing Matt with the rest of us through the last years of his life.
Nighthawk
- Tuesday, June 10, 2003 2:10 AM CDT

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I am fairly new to Caringbridge - only a couple of months now but I've been to Matthews site a few times. Please know that you're my thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine your journey thus far but I pray for strenght and comfort to keep you going day by day.
Jacqueline <leticiaci@yahoo.com>
Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands - Monday, June 9, 2003 9:48 PM CDT

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Hi,
I just read your most recent entry. Tears are streaming down my face. That was such a beautiful dream the pastor had. How comforting. And then I noticed that today is Dirk's birthday and what you said about not signing guestbooks.
I read some of this Web site last year at the request of my dear friend, Andy Colletti. I prayed for your family then and do so now.

Meredith Johnson <merecaver@wildmail.com>
Springfield, VA USA - Monday, June 9, 2003 9:35 PM CDT

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I guess my first entry didn't go through after all. I wrote to tell you I've visited your site at least once a week since I heard about Matthew's illness. I haven't been signing the guestbook because it's hard to think of something new to say other than I'm so sorry, and I think of you and your family all the time. I pray for your healing. I wanted to share with you a poem that was recently in the newspaper. It was so touching for me that I thought I'd send it on to you. They didn't say who the author was, so I can't give them credit. Here it is--

You never said "I'm leaving",
You never said "Goodbye".You were gone before we knew it,
And only God knows why.
A million times we've needed you,
A million times we've cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a special place - no one can ever fill.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone.
For a part of us went with you - the day God called you home.

Bless all of you!
Love,
Cousin Barb

Barbara (Fackler) Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, CA USA - Monday, June 9, 2003 9:12 PM CDT

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I meant to add that the poem could just as easily be about a child as about a husband. Much love to you and your family.
Cousin Barb


Barbara (Fackler) Cary <Caryb72>
Bellflower, CA USA - Monday, June 9, 2003 9:02 PM CDT

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I came to your site thru another CB site, but I can't remember which one! Matthew lives on in you! My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you. Peace be with you.
Dawn <dawnlangdon@juno.com>
Phelps, NY - Monday, June 9, 2003 8:01 PM CDT

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I have been visiting this site for a while, but have never signed the guest book. I guess I felt like it may be a little unusual seeing that I do not know you. But I just wanted to let you know that I still visit the site to read your journal and I am encouraged by what an amazing, strong woman, mother and wife you are. Many days when I am frustrated and overwhelmed I think about you and your family and it helps me to keep going, to give an extra hug to my babies, to love life and to enjoy others around me. Thank you for this encouragement! I pray that God will enfold you in his arms and bring peace to you and your family. Happy Birthday to Dirk!
Karis Scott <knaylor@bellsouth.net>
Atlanta, GA USA - Monday, June 9, 2003 4:12 PM CDT

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I have visited Mathew's site many times before and I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with everything you have gone through. I pray for your family's healing. May the good memories bring you some peace and comfort. You truly deserve it.
Sue Peterson <www.caringbridge.com/mn/wesleypeterson>
Newport, MN - Monday, June 9, 2003 11:52 AM CDT

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Wishing Dirk the best birthday possible under the circumstances, and peace and some solace to all of you...
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Monday, June 9, 2003 10:54 AM CDT

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Wow! What an amazing journal entry. How very cool to think of Matthew chatting with Jesus. I believe it happens for him every day now. I hope you find peace and happiness in the memories of your son. He will not be forgotten! I will pray for you.

Happy birthday to Dirk.
Christi Hamilton <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Monday, June 9, 2003 10:40 AM CDT

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Debbie, I will always remember Matt and your family. You went before me and showed me the way to so many things. I started following Matts story a while back, before my Andy even relapsed this last time. Your journey showed me the way...for my journey. When Andy went to Heaven in January,I had already learned so very much from you. I have learned that we all 'pay it forward' for another Mom somewhere. Thank you. I understand your loneliness, your sorrow and your wish to keep your son's memory alive. I continue to pray for you. God bless
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever) www.caringbridge.org/il/legoman
- Monday, June 9, 2003 10:00 AM CDT

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Debbie - I think of you often, I just don't post, I'm sorry. Matthew was a very special boy and I read back through your journal a few months ago and was very touched by his attitude. You must miss him so much. Take care of yourself,
Kathi (Melanie's mom - ALL-Kids list - www.caringbridge.org/mi/melanie)
Cadillac, MI - Monday, June 9, 2003 9:10 AM CDT

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Hope your weekend was pleasant. Thinking of you. There really isn't anything one can say to make things any better for you, but I hope you will be able to enjoy the pretty day we are going to have today.
Mary
Manchester, MO - Monday, June 9, 2003 8:21 AM CDT

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Dea Debbie and family,
I have followed Matthew's journey since last spring. I am awed by your strength and your words. I have never been good with words so I'm sorry for not leaving you a message for so long. I was away for a few days when things got really rough for Matthew. I called home a couple of times and had my husband check your site to see how you all were doing. I tell you this just so you know how many people's lives you all have touched - Matt will NEVER be forgotten.

Joann Phillips
www.caringbridge.org/page/erinphillips <shphillips@toad.net>
Eldersburg, MD - Sunday, June 8, 2003 10:14 PM CDT

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Mrs. Hallemeier ~

I will GLADLY sign your guestbook! I've noticed your signature on a few other sites that I've also visited tonight (I have almost 20 CaringBridge sites that I've adopted since our town lost a little boy last December. In fact, I remember noticing the thousands of hits this little boy's site was receiving on a daily basis after he passed away. From the numbers of journal entries on his site, I am guessing the visitor log isn't changing as frequently these days, just as it sounds for Matthew's site.) :(

It is sometimes so difficult to see what families are going through, and then with Michael & Jalen passing away last week. I just cannot imagine it all.

Your journal entry is very moving. I continue to stop by every once in a while. May your days (somehow) get easier for you. Sorry if I'm wrong (like I said, I visit many sites) but I believe you once wrote that you weren't going to update this site anymore. I for one can say that I do keep checking in, and imagine it is somehow therapeutic for you.

Take care & God Bless.

Sincerely,

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Sunday, June 8, 2003 10:11 PM CDT

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I just wanted to let you know that I could never forget Matthew or his family. I check in on the web site monthly and have it bookmark in my favorite's. My prayers are still with you. Matthew lives in our hearts and are mind until we see him in heaven. Please feel free to e-mail me or contact me anytime you need a hug or need to talk. I'll listen.
Mary Stephens SLCH RN <fitzmary@yahoo.com>
Florissant, Mo. USA - Sunday, June 8, 2003 10:10 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
I ache when I read your post from June 3. both years...tears and sadness that comes with thinking of the trials. It is so hard. I hope you feel the strength from doing such hard things so well. Thanks for signing Quito's guestbook. It helps me. Love, Robyn
Robyn Delgado <caringbridge.com/ca/quito>
San Diego, - Sunday, June 8, 2003 2:00 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie and Family. Thank you for sharing your Pastors words...they are beautiful and have so touched my heart. Please know that I think of all the kids on the caringbridge sites everyday...there are too many of them...sometimes your own child's fight is so overwhelming, but then you find another whose battle was not won...your heart breaks for every child...you will be in my prayers today with June 9th around the corner...sorry for your loss, Love The Melkonian Family
www.caringbridge.org/md/chrismelko
Darlene and Christopher Melkonian <melkonid@comcast.net>
Gaithersburg, MD - Saturday, June 7, 2003 9:10 AM CDT

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Debbie and family --
Thinking of you today and read your latest entry. We just lost another friend, Todd Musa, (that we met through the transplant process) to this disease. I grieve for him and for Erika (his wife), and for Matthew and Mach and everyone we have "known" that has died or been touched by this disease. Just wanted you to know you remain in our prayers.

Susan and Andrew Colletti
Springfield, VA - Saturday, June 7, 2003 9:05 AM CDT

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Debbie,

Matthew is NOT forgotten. Life goes on, it's true, but he lives in the hearts and minds of everyone you have shared him with. You may not know it, but I check in on you every month. I have your site saved in my favorites, and I've been following Matthew since his BMT.

Much Love,
Mary Hubbell (www.katyhubbell.com) <mshubb2@aol.com>
IL USA - Friday, June 6, 2003 11:21 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
My husband died of AML last January after a 2 year battle. My 3 teenagers and I are having to adjust to not having him around anymore. Sometimes I think I am doing fine and other times I think I am not. I still haven't gotten to a point where I can share my emotions with anyone and I don't know if I ever will. I can't stop going to all of the leukemia webpages. I really care so much about people I have never met -I know how badly they are hurting. I know that I am so looking forward to Heaven when there will be no more suffering and death - just like Jesus promised. Until then I'll just keep on muddling through - I know He won't leave me to do it on my own. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I wish so badly that you and your family didn't have to go through all of this and i wish that my kids and I didn't have to either.
Nancy Tatum ... (www.machleukemia.homestead.com) <nancytatum@yahoo.com>
Ridgeland , MS USA - Friday, June 6, 2003 3:57 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie and family,

I'm not sure what led me to your site today. But your entry about the lack of guestbook entries motivated me to leave a note. I was a member of ALL-Kids when Matthew died. I sign up on there for a while and then stop my subscription for a while, it goes on and on. I can't decide what is better for me emotionally. Even though I have been limiting my time on the computer, I still think about all the Angel kids and their parents so often. I think about how many kids are suffering all over the world every day. New visitors and old visitors will be dropping by this site for years to come. Seeing Matt's picture and reading about his journey, they will come to know more about Matt. Then something, one day, will remind them of your site and Matthew's fight and just like me, they will check in and leave a note. You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry for the hardships you have to face.

Anonymous Friend
- Friday, June 6, 2003 1:03 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie,

I was led to Matthew's site through another Caring Bridge site. I am a wife, mother of 3, breast cancer survivor and special education teacher. I, have a Matthew who is 16. I love all 3 children dearly and as they get older I want to spend more and more time with them, because soon they will be leaving the nest. I know the pain I went through fighting this horrible disease and can't imagine being a parent and having a child with cancer and then, losing this battle. I still freak every time one of the kids get sick. As I walk the Relay for life tonight with my family, I will think of your Matthew and pray that you find comfort in the days ahead. I will also thank Matthew for teaching me to appreciate my Matthew more and I will treasure every second with him.


My love, thoughts and prayers, Melody
West Chester, Pa. U.S.A. - Friday, June 6, 2003 12:58 AM CDT

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Keep your head up! Matt sounds like an amazing person. Thank you for sharing him with us!

Love and prayers,
Tara <nanners994@hotmail.com>
MN - Friday, June 6, 2003 11:50 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie, I know what you mean about the guestbook. It sometimes is frustrating to see the counter go up and then to look and have no messages. It means a lot to have people just write a few words. Sometimes those few words can make the day so much better. Although I have never met you and I would never presume to say I know exactly how you feel or what you are going through but I certainly can empathise with your feelings. I feel much of the same things and experience many of the same emotions that you discuss on your website. I too get afraid that my son will be forgotten but then I remember that their spirit will live on and they will be remembered in the lives of their siblings and their friends. It may not always be obvious but the people they touched will forever carry a part of them with them. But I will say that although my spiritual self believes that our children are in a much better place the mother in me just wants my son home with me. Thinking of you.
Roberta Kishbaugh
- Thursday, June 5, 2003 9:38 PM CDT

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I found you site just by chance. Perhaps it was God's way of saying that you needed prayer. My heart goes out to you and your family. Your son is such a fine young man. My prayers are with you and may you always remember how much God loves you and that He is always there! Love and prayer, The Johnson Family in Westerville, OH
Kelley Johnson
Westerville, OH Franklin - Thursday, June 5, 2003 6:54 PM CDT

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Just checking in and letting you know I am thinking of you.
Mary
O'fallon, MO - Thursday, June 5, 2003 6:04 PM CDT

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Hello Debbie and family, just came back to see what other responses you had got in the guestbook since I signed yesterday. What an amazing set of people you have visiting Matthew's page. So many people returning time and time again to visit Matthew here in cyberspace. He really has had a massive impact all over the world, hasn't he?
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
UK, - Thursday, June 5, 2003 4:49 PM CDT

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Debbie,
Just dropping by to say hello. I find myself thinking about you and your family and Matthew off and on throughout my day. And, that triggers me to remember to pray for you. If only all of us could say or do something...............
At least we're here for you.
Big BEAR Hugs. (I read that hugs and human touch are VERY healing)
Cindy Crider
Houston, TX - Thursday, June 5, 2003 3:44 PM CDT

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Debbie,
Just dropping by to say hello. I find myself thinking about you and your family and Matthew off and on throughout my day. And, that triggers me to remember to pray for you. If only all of us could say or do something...............
At least we're here for you.
Big BEAR Hugs. (I read that hugs and human touch are VERY healing)
Cindy Crider
Houston, TX - Thursday, June 5, 2003 3:44 PM CDT

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Prayers.
Kristen Leigh
Saint Louis, MO - Thursday, June 5, 2003 12:34 AM CDT

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Debbie, I found Matthew's website just about a year ago. I spent hours reading Matthew's journal history. However, I only signed the guest book once or twice. But I want you to know that I checked, and still check this website every single day to see how you and your family are doing. I have lost many close loved ones in my life, and at times I feel as though I have nothing to live for. But I have never lost a child and can't imagine your pain. Time doesn't heal all wounds. The only thing that allows me to move forward is the hope I have in Jesus and the promise of seeing my family again in Heaven soon. I just want you to know I still think of Matthew and your family every day.
Caroline Gallucci <carolinew@hardingrace.com>
Benton, AR - Thursday, June 5, 2003 12:17 AM CDT

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Debbie~
Just dropping by to let you know I think of Matt and his family often. I've said it before...what an amazing young man.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Thursday, June 5, 2003 10:25 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie and family, What a beautiful conversation between Matt and Jesus. And you shared it with all of us. I found your site through Amy's page. What an amazing girl she is!! I cannot even imagine your pain. I will check in often and leave a message. And I will pray for you! Remember... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" Philippians 4:13
Doreen Steil
Cedar Falls, IA - Thursday, June 5, 2003 10:24 AM CDT

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As I told you yesterday, I will say "hi" each time I check in. Wishing you a"sunny day".
Mary
Manchester, MO - Thursday, June 5, 2003 10:11 AM CDT

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Hello, I am sure sometimes it feels as if people are forgetting...as for me I can say I haven't forgot. I continue to Pray for you & your family. I have never met Matt or your family, but I feel I know much about you through my cousin Ryan. Please know we all think of you all the time & will continue too! With love & Prayers, Jennifer
(Ryan Grumish' cousin) www.ryangrumish.com
Jennifer <greenboys4@aol.com>
- Wednesday, June 4, 2003 11:15 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie :)
Thanks for the lil note on my mom's site..it was great to hear from you!!! You know what?? I will GLADLY clean your house for you instead of sitting here studying!!! Hehe..I would do ANYTHING to get out of studying...too bad I'm about a zillion miles away from you?! That was such a LOVELY update...I really loved the conversation between Matt and Jesus...how I wished I could've followed Matt's journey...I would be here everyday telling him how amazing he was!! Anyway, I have to get back to YOU-KNOW-WHAT... I hope you're having a great week...keeping you and your family in my prayers!

Girlie's Page
Janice's Page

Love,
XOXOXOXO
Janice <wine_chic@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 9:12 PM CDT

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You don't know me but I saw the link to Matthew's page and thought I would check it out. I'm so sorry about your lose. I felt when I read the entry today and I feel that I should read the history. I am to a cancer patient, fighting Osteosarcoma. I have been fighting for almost 4 years now. I will pray for strength for your family. I will continue to stop by. Again I'm sorry for your lose. I wish there was a better out come. Feel free to stop by my website. www.caringbridge.com/page/amymareck
Love
Amy*
Amy Mareck <brownhair25@hotmail.com>
Albany, MN - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 8:13 PM CDT

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Debbie,
I am so sorry that you are feeling bad and missing Matthew so much. That just illustrates how very very much you loved him. I think of your family often and still keep you in our prayers. We have journeyed together for a long time and I cried at your entry today just like I cried last June 3rd. Matthew was such a brave young man - unbelievably brave. His picture on the front is very handsome! I wish you peace tonight and wish I could give you a hug.
Love, Barb
Barb Tomlinson - Joey's mom http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/joeysjourney <btomlinson3@comcast.net>
Telford, PA - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 6:45 PM CDT

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Thinking of you all today.
Jo <jvon557@aol.com>
- Wednesday, June 4, 2003 4:24 PM CDT

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Debbie,
I wish I had known Matthew and followed his journal, but I found your site after he had passed. I have only checked it a few times, but probably have never signed your guest book. Maybe I did, but more than likely not. There are so many Caringbridge sites and so many of them touch my heart. Yours especially did today. I know there are no words to lessen your pain and grief, just know that I am praying for you and your family in the days ahead. I do rejoice that Matthew is with His Lord, even though sometimes that offers little comfort for those left behind.
In Him,

Debbie Nagy
St. Louis, MO - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 3:46 PM CDT

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Hello,
I suppose I am one of the guilty ones.....I come by often cause I think of you..but I don't always sign in. I am sorry. I started to follow Matt right after his relasp. I found you all from another page.
Please know I still think of you and pray for you.
Hugs,
Lynn
www.caringbridge.com/pa/jessiespage, PA - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 3:17 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie and Family,
Boy, you hit the nail right on the head...I am one of the guilty ones of checking in and not signing the guest book! I guess maybe because of a lack of words? I will sign in the guest book everytime from now on. Even if it's just a "HI" from someone you've never met. Just to let you know that I am still thinking of your beautiful son, Matthew.
I pray that you and your family are getting through this difficult time. I just can't imagine. You are a very strong lady that I admire.
Take care and know that we are still praying for you.
Anita Bernardo
Anita Bernardo <Maknardo@aol.com>
Granada Hills, CA USA - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 1:37 PM CDT

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I never met Matt, but I found your site and although I haven't written in the guestbook, I still do check in. I checked out some of the new links you posted, including the links to the gaming sites. By the pages and pages of responses to his post you can really see how special he was. Im sure he is having a blast in heaven right now.
Tracy
- Wednesday, June 4, 2003 12:24 AM CDT

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Oh Debbie, You are so amazing. Every thought and feeling that you write is a thought or feeling I am having too. I feel your pain, along with my own, because our boy's journeys were so similar. The dream you had is AMAZING!!! What a gift. I have never dreamt of my Matt yet and I pray I will. I check your website weekly and I will always remember to drop you a line. Please know that there isn;t a day that i don;t think about you and how you are. I KNOW the pain you feel - it is the pain of a broken heart. Yet somehow we must survive and go on - even if only to tell others about our dear boys. Remember - one day - no make that one minute at a time...Hugs...
Noelle Conover, mom to matt (www.caringbridge.org/ma/mattconover) <nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 12:18 AM CDT

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Matthew will never be forgotten by any of us, and I will be sure to post more guestbook entries.

I think sometimes, I visit Matthew's page and find it hard to know what to say.

I was so glad to read that you saved the photos. I remember a nice photo that you used to have on the site of your whole family sitting on rocks in a forest somewhere I think.

That seems like a long time ago now but I definitely won't forget that picture. That picture told me how happy Matthew was to have such a great family around him.

"A picture paints a thousand words" and I'm sure the ones you have left paint a great deal more than that.

Still thinking of your family, I hope Matthew's tree is growing bigger and stronger by the day.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
Newcastle, UK, - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 12:15 AM CDT

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Note To Self : Don't read Alexandria's or any other child's caringbridge website before a presentation to a client !!! Tears are streaming while I read about the conversation between Matt and Jesus. I am thinking of you and praying hard for you and Dirk and the rest of us on this horrible roller coaster ride of grief. Hope to get together very soon with you guys.

-Alison Haddock
Forever mom to Alexandria, an angel with pink-tipped wings
www.caringbridge.com/page/alexandriasangels
Alison Haddock <AGHaddock@msn.com>
O' Fallon, MO - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 12:07 AM CDT

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I came across your son's site through another caringbridge site. What an amazing thing caringbridge is! I will pray for you to find peace in the Lord with every step you take, and that you know that your son is now free, painless, and a beautiful angel! He is an inspiration!
Laura Foster <foster_10@hotmail.com>
Mankato, MN USA - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 11:52 AM CDT

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I am one of those who visit but very rarely post a message. I found your sons web site before he relapsed, about a year after my Daughters BMT. My heart broke for all of you when Matt passed away and still breaks for you when I think of how much you all must miss him. Thank you for sharing the dream that you had. I believe that Jesus comes to us in our dreams to comfort us and help with our problems. I continue to pray for you family
Debby Roberts..........................http://www.caringbridge.org/oh/emilyroberts/
- Wednesday, June 4, 2003 11:13 AM CDT

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Debbie,
I am one of those who visit often, but don't always say hello. Today's entry was very touching, and I will continue to remember you in my prayers. Matthew has not been forgotten.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 10:13 AM CDT

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Debbie:

Even though I never "knew" him, I have not forgotten Matthew ... or you! As always, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!!
Justine Germaine <jfgermaine@hotmail.com>
Madison, WI USA - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 8:48 AM CDT

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The gaming community has not forgotten, He asked that we don't forget him And we won't. I have moved on to another game than I used to play, But I still wear Zof's tag. Good game and you won't be forgotten.
SIlent Gamer
- Wednesday, June 4, 2003 8:46 AM CDT

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Debbie, I apologize to you, I have been visiting your site for over a year and have not signed. I think of you and your family often. I will do a better job of saying "Hi" when I stop and check on you. My sincere hope is for you to find some peace and your grieving becomes less painful.
I admire your courage.
Sincerely,

Mary
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 8:30 AM CDT

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Debbie & Dirk, I can somewhat relate to what you are feeling. I had a great loss not too long ago. I had the awful feeling of loosing any of the photos of my lost loved one as well. What really helped was a good scanner and a CD burner. I have scanned every single photo I had, along with childhood drawings and documents, then burned it to a CD. I have a copy at my home and also one at my mothers. Photo's, report cards and drawings are precious memories. I feel much better knowing that I have duplicates somewhere. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Michelle Kennedy <krenee870@aol.com>
Tampa, Fl USA - Wednesday, June 4, 2003 7:50 AM CDT

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I check your site often, although IM not sure what to say most of the time.. I can say that Matthew is looking down and is very proud of the loving family he has...


Randy
Aliso Viejo, CA - Tuesday, June 3, 2003 9:55 PM CDT

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Debbie- I just came across your site last night from Alexandria's website. I was so taken by your beautiful family and your incredible son. I just had to jump back on today to check your next journal entry. I will continue to pray for you each day- that God's strength and comfort give you peace and through this horrible journey you find God's will for you. What an incredibly strong and brave son you have in heaven. Thank you for sharing your story and making a difference in my life. I have three children, ages 8, 6, and 3. Their lives will also be impacted by you through all that I receive from your family. Thank you for your honesty and sharing of your everyday feelings. May God continue to pour His graces upon you. Sheila
Sheila Sellenriek <shsellenriek@hotmail.com>
Wildwood, MO USA - Tuesday, June 3, 2003 8:38 PM CDT

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Debbie,

I have been checking in on you and your family since around this time last year. I have only signed the guest book once but it is not that I do not think of you. I really felt like I got to know you even though we have never met and will never meet.

I cannot even imagine how hard this is. I lost my mother when I was only 12 years old, but I do not think the pain could even measure. I have a 7 year old little girl that I just adore and I have been hugging her a little more every day since January 2002. You see her little boyfriend (they have already announced their engagement) was diagnosed with a brain tumor. His chances were very poor. In fact, the same day you lost Matthew last week, the doctors said he only had 2-20 weeks left. A miracle has indeed happened and he has now had a few clean MRI's.

I know that you will never be healed and you will always hurt, but just take each day one day at a time.

God Bless you.
A friend in Colorado
Denver, CO - Tuesday, June 3, 2003 6:24 PM CDT

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Debbie,
I check on you every day - and I pray for your comfort every night, along with a few of my other online parents. I'll check on you again soon.
Cindy
Houston, TX - Tuesday, June 3, 2003 5:00 PM CDT

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~*Hallemeier Family*~
I was just looking at the website, to see how things are going. I love looking at the pictures in the photo ablum. Believe it or not I found myself crying a little bit because I miss him just as much as you guys do. I will NEVER forget Matt's sense of humor and the smile that was always on his face. Most of all I won't forget the bus rides to and from school. We had fun together (Matt, myself, Lauren Stein, and Benji). We were all such good friends. 8) I can't believe it has almost been a year. It is hard to believe that this good happen to such a good kid who lover everyone and was full of life. I know it is hard but hang in there and think of all the good things that Matt brought to your lives. Remember that Matt is watching down on all of you, he is always by your side. 8) My prayers are still with you!! 8)
*Danielle Rampani* <Hottangel77@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Monday, June 2, 2003 8:55 PM CDT

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hey there, I just wanted to let you know that I still pray for you and your family, and I think of Matthew often. I am sure that today is probably a very tough day so I just wanted to send my prayers.
God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Saturday, May 31, 2003 12:40 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
I read this journal a few months ago and check in often to see how you are doing. My heart just breaks because of the grief you are having to deal with. I cannot imagine and hope I don't ever have to know what it feels like. Just experiencing it through you is heart wrenching. But, like you say, Matthew is with Jesus and that's the best place to be.
I continually keep you in my prayers.
You are a very good mom and a very strong person. Matthew, as well as Christopher and Julie have the BEST!
Take Care.
Cindy
Houston, TX USA - Wednesday, May 28, 2003 1:10 PM CDT

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Hello Debbie,
You don't know me but I am writing to you from Melbourne, Australia :) I came across your site through another CB site (can't remember which one, sorry!) and I just had to stop by and say hi...what a beautiful boy Matthew was! I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss...I read through his journals and Matthew really was amazing and he fought so hard...I will keep you and your family in my prayers always. Last September, I lost my mom to cancer and it's been so hard...people say that it will get easier as time goes by, but it has been 8 months and it has not gotten easier! But I do believe that in my own time, it will...I will be graduating from university in August and it just saddens me that my mom can't be there. Anyway, I am getting a little off track!!! Just wanted to come by and say hello...you have a very amazing family :) Have a nice weekend!

Girlie's Page

Love,
XOXOXOX
Janice <wine_chic@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Saturday, May 24, 2003 10:48 AM CDT

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I was thinking about you and wanted to say hi! We missed seeing you on Saturday, but I hope you had a nice day with Christopher. Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, mo - Thursday, May 22, 2003 8:51 PM CDT

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I just wanted to say hello! Each time I open this sight and see Matthew's picture and the dates at the top it hits me like a ton of bricks. We miss him so much, and sometimes it just seems like this is surely a bad dream that we will all wake up from. We love you very much! Kim, Brian, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke
Rolla, mo - Tuesday, May 20, 2003 10:42 AM CDT

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Just checking in on you to see how things are going. I think about you and Matthew daily, so don't ever feel that he will be forgotten. You have a terrific family, and I am glad that they are so supportive of you. Please don't beat yourself up about an early diagnosis. When Christine complained about her knees hurting, I attributed it to her wimpy, non-athletic nature. No one thinks leukemia.

Best wishes for the approaching summer. You will always remain in my thoughts and prayers.


Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Friday, May 16, 2003 12:37 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie. You have been in my thoughts. All the friends we have made through SLCH, and the ache in my heart that I feel for you and your family. I will always remember your beautiful smile, when you would come and comfort me, from one mom to another. Take care and lets please remain in touch! You are a brave, caring mom! I will continue to pray for your entire family.
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il USA - Tuesday, May 13, 2003 8:22 PM CDT

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Debbie-

Just wanted to stop by and tell you I am thinking of you - I know this has got to be a hard day, but I hope you had good memories on your mind at some point. You are a wonderful mom. Also, happy belated birthday!!!
Diane Mathis <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Sunday, May 11, 2003 11:22 PM CDT

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It's been a while since I've been able to stop in and wanted to make sure I said hello and that I think of your family often.

I just can't imagine all of the emotions you must be going through. From all of the journal entries I've read, you sound like a wonderful mother and truly deserve a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! :o)

Sincerely,

Shiela
~NY~ USA!!! - Saturday, May 10, 2003 5:13 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie,
Happy Belated Birthday and Happy Mother's Day. I am so glad that Dirk and Julie surprised you - what a special gift. I know the day will be hard for you (and me) but at least we will be surrounded by family who love us and care for us. I will be thinking of you and all the other bereaved moms tomorrow. Did you know that Mother's Day was started to honor a mom who lost seven out of her eleven children? Have as good a day as possible and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Noelle Conover (www.caringBridge.org/ma/mattconover) <nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA usa - Saturday, May 10, 2003 8:57 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie, I hope you have a nice Mother's Day with your family tomorrow. I empathise with your what ifs, we have done the same. Ryan's Dad is a doctor and has beaten himself up wondering why he didn't pick up on the symptoms. Ryan was short of breath, fatigued, persistant cough and then lastly drenching night sweats a week or two before diagnosis. We thought of every possible cause but not once did we think cancer. I bought new laundry detergent, removed the extra blankets from his bed, removed the extra foam pad from his mattress thinking that is why he was sweating at night. We gave him cough medicine and told him to get more sleep at night that he was tired because of school and soccer and running around with his friends. Not once did I ever look at Ryan (the picture of youth and health) and think cancer. It was finally when he woke with a stiff neck, which at first I thought was from sleeping on it funny, that I took him to the doctor and discovered he had cancer. The guilt, the what ifs the why didn't we do this or why did we do this I think will be with us for ever but ultimately we have to remember we did all that was HUMANLY possible for our children. Again, Happy Mother's Day.
Roberta Kishbaugh
- Saturday, May 10, 2003 8:07 AM CDT

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Debbie,
Hope you have a peaceful Mother's Day with your family.

Bo Mathis (father of DOUBLE M)
www.caringbridge.com/fl/champ <saveit24@aol.com>
Boynton Beach , Fl. - Saturday, May 10, 2003 7:26 AM CDT

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dear Debbie,
I wonder too. I found a note about Quito, he had drawn a picture and after identifying what it was : ), I wrote, Quito is recovering from a month of low energy... that was 6 months before he was dx. When I read it last week though I could remember my concern but I could also remember my everyday-ness type of attitude. I think now, why wasn't I shocked?, or nervous, or hysterical? I know a little of the feelings you express so well that they bring tears to my eyes. I'm glad you have the rest of your family around for Mother's Day. Love, Robyn
Robyn Delgado <caringbridge.com/ca/quito>
- Saturday, May 10, 2003 0:22 AM CDT

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hi my name is Melissa and I am a PCA at Children's I just wanted you to know that we still check in on you and hope you and your family are doing well. Happy Birthday
melissa <misy@excite.com>
- Thursday, May 8, 2003 3:49 AM CDT

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Just wanted you to know that I was checking in on you and wishing for you to have a pleasant day today.
Mary
Manchester, MO - Wednesday, May 7, 2003 8:18 AM CDT

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Debbie, first of all I am sorry I missed your birthday, although we all know it wasnt much of a birthday this year.. Secondly dont do this to yourself. We all do it at some point or another. My Ronnie was complaining about walking and wouldnt walk up stairs and wanted to be carried everywhere. People told us it was growing pains (at 31/2 no less) or that he wanted to be babied. Numerous visits to the doctor over a 6 week span being told it was probably a virus compounded the "its no big deal" theory to me. In hindsight he was very pale, he was covered in a blanket in July, complaining if we had even just a celing fan on, let alone the a.c. His legs were covered in bruises, the 3 different doctors we saw thought nothing of them. I keep looking at old pictures, the ones without the port scar and think, this was before -- I cant remember -- how was it then? Before all this invaded our lives.. what day did this all start.. when did it sneak into his body unbeknownst to anyone of us, and for how long...? Would his chances be better if they found out right away, rather than us wasting the 6 weeks...

Its all normal, but we will never know. I know its so much easier said than done but dont do this to yourself. Really.. dont. It just zaps your energy and drains you even more emotionally.

"A Mom Just Looking for Answers"

I lost my dear and precious son
but no one could tell me why
while searching for answers by so many means
I was left alone with tears to cry.

No one could take the time to explain
why I lost my dear son
Oh I was a mother in need of answers,
but I was never given one.

No matter what happens in life,
a Mom never loses her name
though she'd like to change their lifestyle
her love stays the same.

And maybe she feels it was her fault
but God reassures her it wasnt
she had hoped time would bring her answers
too late, she learns it just doesnt.

Does anyone understand her pleas?
do they care about her plight?
she's just a Mom looking for answers
so she can learn to sleep at night...

~ Kaye Des'Ormeaux


Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Tuesday, May 6, 2003 6:44 PM CDT

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I check your site often and keep you in my thoughts. I would never be so bold as to tell you how to feel, however, it troubles me that you are feeling guilty and blaming yourself for your son's illness. As you grieve, please find comfort in the fact that you are not responsible and did everything possible for him.
Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester, MO - Monday, May 5, 2003 1:20 PM CDT

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Happy Belated birthday! I think of you often and often drop by the site- jsut don't always sign your book. I pray that you have a blessed trip to St. Louis and you will find some comfort there.


Margie- mom to Karissa, dx'd 1/95 ot8/97, Anna, William and wife to Kris <gscrazy@juno.com>
Ft. Lewis, WA USA - Monday, May 5, 2003 1:07 PM CDT

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Debbie --

Wishing you a belated birthday wishes! I check on you and your family often, and have finally decided to sign your book. I keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers daily, and I know that Matthew was smiling down and sending you much love on your birthday (as I'm sure he does everyday).

Linda
Pittsburgh, PA - Monday, May 5, 2003 9:20 AM CDT

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Belated birthday wishes, dear Debbie. I'm thinking of you, Matthew and your family and holding you in my heart.
Laura Piper, mom to Dani, ALL-Kids <laurapiper@hotmail.com>
Hampton, IA - Sunday, May 4, 2003 5:34 PM CDT

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Thinking of you today.
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Sunday, May 4, 2003 3:00 PM CDT

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Hey Debbie. I haven't signed in for quite some time but I think of you often. When I do I lift you up in prayer. I know that all the questioning you are having is normal. Even parents who have children who are still living with life threatening illness have those questions. I speak from experience there because my mom has told me before that she wondered if I got aplastic anemia because she didn't do something right or protect me from something she should have. I continually reassure her that the thought has never crossed my mind, she is a wonderful mom and she took the best care of me possible. Aplastic Anemia just happened. I would venture to say the same is true with you. You're an excellent mom. I will continue to lift you up in prayer as you walk through this valley. Know that if you need anything you can email me and I'll be right here for you. Blessings in Jesus our Savior.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Friday, May 2, 2003 10:10 PM CDT

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Dearest Debbie ~
I rarely dare to let myself begin to imagine how you feel, and how much you miss darling Matthew. When I do, it's only for a moment, because the fear is so intense and the tears just flow instantly. My heart goes out to you. The depth of your pain is unimaginable. Yet your strength, courage, and compassion for others is amazingly admirable and I know that Matthew is so proud of his wonderful mom! You won't forget him. You're not forgetting him. If the journals are therapeutic for you and become an "obsession", so be it. I am still so appreciative to share in your thoughts and in memories of Matthew's life. Through you, Dirk, Christopher, and Julie & Brad, Matthew is remembered, spoken of, thought of, or prayed for, on a daily basis somewhere in this big wide world we share. He is still with us and always will be. The photos of his birthday balloon launch are beautiful. Thank you for continuing to share his life and yours with us.
Thinking of you and Matthew on this sunny Spring morning and sending all my love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, May 2, 2003 10:28 AM CDT

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Debbie, just thinking of Matthew this evening. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Teri <tex612@aol.com>
Nashville, TN - Thursday, May 1, 2003 11:44 PM CDT

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I wanted you to know that Matthew entered my thoughts today. I prayed for you and Dirk today.

Anita
Sikeston, MO - Wednesday, April 30, 2003 11:41 AM CDT

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Dear Debbie, my heart is breaking for you today. I hope your days will get a little brighter. Your children are beautiful! God bless you. Darlene Melkonian
www.caringbridge.org/md/chrismelko
Darlene and Christopher Melkonian <melkonid@comcast.net>
Gaithersburg, MD - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 5:37 PM CDT

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Dear Debbie - Thank you for signing Maximilian's guestbook. I often think of you and very often say a prayer for you to be comforted, and for Matthew in heaven. The pictures of the balloons are lovely. Please keep telling us how you and your family are doing, since I often check this site.
Love, Gloria McShane, BMT-talk <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, Britain - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 4:06 AM CDT

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Just wanted to stop by and say "hello" sorry you had a rough week.

Blessings,
Bonnie <www.caringbridge.com/page/jamiebowman>
Columbus, Ohio - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 0:31 AM CDT

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Hi Debbie. Sorry you had a rough week. I have been having a lot of ups and downs. My little one, Anna, really keeps my spirits up. We went away for Easter and I spent last weekend in New York City with my oldest at a music festival. I love the pictures of Matt. I miss my Matt so much. It will be 10 months for us next week. All the "firsts" are looming. I think of you often. Thanks for sharing the special poems.
Noelle Conover <nconover@sgi.net (www.caringbridge.org/ma/mattconover)>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Monday, April 28, 2003 10:41 PM CDT

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I am so sorry that you are having a rough week. Ironically last week was really hard for me also. I guess the first Easter or even the 99th will always be hard with so many memories of happier times flooding our brains. I know what you mean about forgetting and it all seeming like a dream, were they really here with us. Sometimes I look at Ryan's pictures and I try so hard to remember what it was like when he was physically here and somedays it is so hard to feel his presence. I am sure we are experiencing many of the same feelings and I truly empathize with what you are feeling. I can't imagine there being anything in this world that can hurt as much as losing your child. I am thinking of you.
Roberta Kishbaugh
- Sunday, April 27, 2003 10:20 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
You are constantly on my mind and in my prayers.
Your love will keep Matthew with you always.
My love to your family.
Judy Grumish www.ryangrumish.com <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il USA - Friday, April 25, 2003 11:44 PM CDT

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Hello Hallemeier family,
Just to let you know that I continue to check in on you and remember you in my prayers. May God continue to give you peace with the loss of Matthew.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Friday, April 25, 2003 6:04 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie, I have been reading more and more of Rashid's mother's journals. She describes exactly what you say, feeling like you are forgetting and thinking in terms of life before and after Rashid. If you are interested, he is listed on the Adopt A Kids site and his mom Marianne is a sweetheart. Hugs and prayers,
Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Thursday, April 24, 2003 10:16 PM CDT

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Hello!
I still visit the web site too.
Debra Spoljaric <debrams@bjc.org>
- Thursday, April 24, 2003 7:13 PM CDT

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I have visited your site since last year. This is the first time I have signed your guest book. I somehow always feel at a loss as to what to say. I am aware that no words can begin to ease your pain, but I do wish for you and your family to find peace. Sincerely,
Mary
Manchester, MO - Tuesday, April 22, 2003 3:26 PM CDT

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Happy Belated Easter from New York state. I can imagine this was a difficult weekend. The memories will always be there. The time, unfortunately, makes them not seem as vivid, but there is no chance that you will forget them.

God Bless you and your family.

Shiela
NY - Monday, April 21, 2003 6:56 PM CDT

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Debbie,
HE HAS RISEN INDEED!! And Matthew sits right next to him. I was thinking about Matthew Friday evening as I sat in our Good Friday service. It was very different this year, held in a small part of the sanctuary with no light other than some candles. Our young people in the church did the service and it was very moving. I was led to think of my caringbridge families that would be going through this holiday without a loved one, but then on Sunday morning as I sat in my pew with the sun shining through the stain glass windows.....all I could think was "He has risen indeeed!!" All of that for us....pretty awesome!! I know that I cannot begin to feel what you feel or have I ever walked in your shoes, but I do know that God is holding on to you and your whole family. Helping to put one foot in front of the other and I pray that each day will get just a little easier. Debbie, you won't ever forget........I won't ever forget. No one who was touched by Matthew's life will ever forget. Don't let yourself worry about that or think like you are forsaking him. You are not...you are one terrific mother, wife and friend. Matthew could not have been given a better family to love and care for him. I am holding you ever so close to my heart and am praying very hard. Sent with big hugs and love,
Krista <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Monday, April 21, 2003 1:18 PM CDT

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We all know that Matthew won't ever be forgotten by any of you or any of us. I enjoyed looking at the pictures of the balloon launch and the poetry is lovely...carry on leetting us share it with you. Happy Easter.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
uk, - Monday, April 21, 2003 1:08 PM CDT

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There are so many of us that 'made it' thru our first Easter without our beloved kids. Holding you all (the other parents) close in my heart is what got me thru my day...my first Easter without Andy. I also find it difficult to face Monday's...just about this time. Please know that there are many of us out here that are praying for you. There are also too many of us that completely understand your grief. God bless.
jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever)
- Monday, April 21, 2003 10:18 AM CDT

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HI. Happy Easter! I still check your site from time to time. I keep you all in my prayers and keep fighting in honor of all those who have become angels. I just started radiation and it is going fairly well. I wish you all the very best. Love,
Rachel Baumgartner <obsessedwithlife@hotmail.com>
st. louis, mo - Monday, April 21, 2003 2:11 AM CDT

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I'm having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd check in on you. We had a nice time today. Thanks so much! Elizabeth especially enjoyed the walk that the kids took with Dirk. Thanks Dirk! I love you.
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, mo - Monday, April 21, 2003 1:59 AM CDT

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Debbie ~
Sending an Easter prayer to Matthew tonight and letting you know that you're in my thoughts and in my heart.
Love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, April 20, 2003 10:49 PM CDT

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Debbie,
Just stopping by to wish your family a Happy Easter and let you know that you are never out of our thoughts and prayers.
Love, Barb
Barb Tomlinson - Joey's mom <btomlinson3@comcast.net>
Telford, PA - Sunday, April 20, 2003 8:41 AM CDT

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Thinking of you at Easter.
Harri T, Lowri's Mum <timvdw@kcbbs.gen.nz>
Auckland, New Zealand - Sunday, April 20, 2003 7:31 AM CDT

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Thank you for sharing your updates. Thinking of you tonight.
Janet Sims, mom to Janie-forever 5 years old www.caringbridge.org/al/janiesims
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, April 19, 2003 8:41 PM CDT

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MATTHEW:) GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THIS EASTER:)

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook :) (Leukemia AML M4)

TRACY SOLOMON
- Saturday, April 19, 2003 3:42 PM CDT

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Debbie,

Thank you for continuing to share Matthew and your family with us. What a beautiful tribute this website is! Your memories and stories are so touching. I know it is still a difficult time for all though. My thoughts are with you as you face each day and each benchmark. It is hard to get through some of those days, but we depend on the strength of others to help us through.

Hope you have a blessed Easter surrounded by the love of friends and family.

Thinking of you,
Vicki Hoffman <www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike>
Anaheim, CA - Saturday, April 19, 2003 12:27 AM CDT

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I am not sure what to say to you Debbie, as I dont want to pretend to even begin to imagine what you are going through. But I wanted to drop by and extend our condolences and wishes that Matt is pain free and at peace, looking over you all.
Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Saturday, April 19, 2003 11:53 AM CDT

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Hello. Just saying hi from the state of New York. Hoping that your family has a blessed Easter weekend, and that your good memories of Matthew help you get through the weekend.

God Bless you and your family.

Shiela
NY - Friday, April 18, 2003 10:03 AM CDT

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Hello. Just saying hi from the state of New York. Hoping that your family has a blessed Easter weekend, and that your good memories of Matthew help you get through the weekend.

God Bless you and your family.

Shiela
NY - Friday, April 18, 2003 10:01 AM CDT

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I just read your entry. Not surprisingly, it brought tears to my eyes. I have my own Matthew. He will be 16 this year. Thank God, he's healthy. I'll pray that God continues to give you the strength to carry on.
Carl
- Wednesday, April 16, 2003 6:12 PM CDT

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Dearest Debbie ~
Just letting you know that I am thinking of you tonight. Your thoughtfulness and continued friendship and support mean so much to me.
I hope the beauty of Spring time fills you with pleasure and some peace. It's raining here tonight, but I hope a ray of sunshine finds its way to your heart.
Sending many hugs from afar ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, April 14, 2003 10:20 PM CDT

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I was so touched by Matthew's story. I have no doubt that Matthew is smiling down on you all. He was a very courgeous young man and I'm sure your so proud of him. Your faith is what will subtain you on this earth until you meet once again with Matthew. God bless.
Tina
- Monday, April 14, 2003 9:18 PM CDT

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How completely unfair that you had to celebrate Matthew's birthday this way. I can only imagine the pain. I do want you to know that you and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings to you and I will check back on you soon.
Khalita <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, April 14, 2003 9:09 AM CDT

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Your website is lovely. I love the idea of letting go of the balloons. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! (I think they celebrate birthdays!) Love, Colton's mother
www.caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Sunday, April 13, 2003 9:53 PM CDT

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Hi Debbie,
Good Friday to you. Sorry I haven't signed in this week, it has been kind of crazy. I've been here to check on you each day, but hadn't taken the time to sign in. So I figured I better today. Hope you are doing ok, I'm sure these last weeks have been rough. I want you to know that I've been praying really hard for all of you and will continue to do so. We lost another one of my little buddies this morning. Please keep Mitch's family in your prayers (www.miraclesformitch.com). When will it ever end??? God bless everyone who is dealing with sadness and tragedy at this time. Please Lord let your loving arms surround these people and hold them very tight. Debbie, until next time......sending big hugs and my love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Friday, April 11, 2003 11:14 AM CDT

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I LOVE THIS UPDATE..VERY LOVING . BE BLESSED.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT.
DANETTE
Danette Prater www.caringbridge.com/tx/jacobprater <jakesmom@wt.net>
Santa Fe , TX - Tuesday, April 8, 2003 1:07 PM CDT

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Sometimes when it's light and you can't see
Sometimes when this world just seems to be so cold
Sometimes when you're lost at sea drowning in your pain
Sometimes the sun shines through the rain

Thoughts and prayers go out to your family

Kevin
Kevin Garrison <kevin02000@rcn.com>
Peapack, NJ USA - Monday, April 7, 2003 1:03 AM CDT

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Debbie,

I know celebrating Matthew's birthday must of seemed surreal..... I'm sure he had a BIG celebration in heaven! You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
God bless,
Lisa Agee (www.caringbridge.com/page/ross) <lagee67@hotmail.com>
Camden, AL - Monday, April 7, 2003 0:06 AM CDT

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Happy birthday Matthew! I bet Heaven has the best cakes ever! Watch over your family, so they can feel your presence, Laura
www.caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Saturday, April 5, 2003 11:39 AM CST

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Just checking in (again) from New York state.

What a few days of wild emotions you must be going through. God Bless you and your family.

Shiela
NY US of A!!! - Friday, April 4, 2003 3:25 PM CST

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I was thinking about you and wanted to say hi! We had a great time at Matthew's birthday celebration. Hope the kids weren't too stressful. Have you received any responses from the balloons? Love you, Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, mo - Friday, April 4, 2003 2:59 PM CST

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After I had already posted in your guest book, I thought you might be interested in our webpage. It's
www.machleukemia.homestead.com

Nancy Tatum <nancytatum@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, April 3, 2003 10:50 PM CST

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Hi Matt's Family,
I'm sorry that you couldn't celebrate Matt's birthday with him in person. I know it's hard. My husband died in January from AML - he had a bone marrow transplant too. The leukemia came back though. We have 3 kids - my oldest is 16 and the twins are 14. This cancer stuff stinks. I am SO glad to have the promise of Heaven. What would we do without it?
Nancy Tatum <nancytatum@yahoo.com>
Ridgeland, MS USA - Thursday, April 3, 2003 10:48 PM CST

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Hey Dirk and Deb:
You all have been on our mind lately, knowing that you have been facing some difficult anniversaries. I am glad you are keeping up the web page. I think your B-day celebration for Matthew was perfect and your balloon idea very special. It will be interesting to see what responses you get. Glad you are getting to Atlanta to see Julie and Brad. If you ever plan a longer trip we are only 5 hr away. Or once you have explored all of Atlanta bring Julie and Brad along for some beach time. Know that we are continuing to hold you close in prayer. Love George and Sherri
Sherri Spicer <slspicer@hargray.com>
Bluffton, SC - Wednesday, April 2, 2003 11:47 AM CST

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Debbie, I am wishing you all peace. I know Matthew celebrated a glorious birthday in Heaven. I know his heart is with you always. God bless.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger & family <Rumberger@alamedanet.net (formerly TimRumb@aol.com)>
Alameda, CA USA - Tuesday, April 1, 2003 10:12 AM CST

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Oh Debbie, the photos on the homepage are so sweet and the journal entry makes my heart ache for you and Dirk. I remember emailing you about this time last year, when Matthew had just had the transplant. I wish one of those balloons would float over here, but given that it would have to cross the Atlantic, I doubt it ...
Love, hope and prayers,
Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire (James Herriot country), Britain - Tuesday, April 1, 2003 9:10 AM CST

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Dearest Debbie ~
Thank you for sharing the photos of Matthew - both as a baby and at Sweet Sixteen. Your idea of releasing the 17 balloons with the messages attached is wonderful. Did you get any cards back yet? My heart continues to ache for you, knowing how terribly you still miss Matthew. So many little things still remind me of him, and I am keeping you and Dirk always in my heart and in my prayers.
Wishing you peace and love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, March 31, 2003 10:38 PM CST

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Dear Debbie and Dirk, thanks for inviting us over to celebrate Matthews birthday. It, is a date that can forever be relished and celebrated!! Maybe those wet snowflakes that visited us while at the cemetary, were a sign that Matthew was there and watching. Though cold and windy, it was a beautiful day, with sunrays blasting through the clouds, reminding us of the things we have no control over. May God continue to bless you and your family. We still pray and think about Matthew, we do miss him and his beautiful red hair! Take Good Care. Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Monday, March 31, 2003 0:05 AM CST

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Debbie & Dirk,
I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you, and about Matthew, yesterday - I was away from home and could not email.
That second photo, of Julie and Christopher holding baby Matthew - I would have know that baby in a line-up - he never really changed from that look, what a cutie.
I hope that you managed to celebrate his coming into your lives - overshadowed as that now is by his leaving.
((((((((((Hugs to you both))))))))))
Harri (mum of angel Lowri) <timvdw@kcbbs.gen.nz>
Auckland, New Zealand - Sunday, March 30, 2003 11:32 PM CST

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Debbie and Family,

I just stopped by and saw that it was Matthew's birthday yesterday, so I wanted to drop a line to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW! I know he is shining down on you from Heaven on what must have been a very hard day to spend without him here on Earth.

With love,
Holly, mom to Haley (4) dx 4/3/02 early pre B cell ALL, on POG 9904 Arm II, currently in maintenance.
http://thehaleybug.com/


Holly <haley25wks@msn.com>
Portsmouth, VA USA - Sunday, March 30, 2003 7:40 PM CST

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Dont know what to say Debbie. I know this is not how you ever expected to be spending a child's birthday, but I know he is painfree and watching over you. If that is any consolation...
Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Sunday, March 30, 2003 7:22 PM CST

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Dear Debbie, I hope your birthday celebration for your son went well. I can only imagine how bittersweet the day must have been. Although you are 6 months further along than I am, I am sure we share many similar feelings on many days of the week. I appreciate you adopting Ryan's webpage. I think both of us having lost teenage sons to cancer creates an understanding in itself. Thinking of you.
Roberta Kishbaugh
- Sunday, March 30, 2003 5:52 PM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW! My thoughts and prayers are with you, Debbie, and family!

Ashley-Proud Aunt to Jaxon http://www.caringbridge.org/ar/jaxon
Ashley Monahan <TaekwonAsh@netscape.net>
North Little Rock, AR USA - Sunday, March 30, 2003 1:21 PM CST

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My last entry in your guestbook was a few months ago but I have been to visit since. It's not always easy to know what to say. 117624 hits and counting now though. Again, I just wanted to say that you must be so proud of the impact Matthew has had around the world. We all wish that you all had never had to suffer through his illness and loss, but out of it has come a massive respect for your whole family. The photographs are great, I hope Matthew's birthday held many treasured memories of happy times for you all.
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
Newcastle. UK, - Sunday, March 30, 2003 1:08 PM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT FROM THE COLE FAMILY. SENDING PEACE AND SERENITY TO YOUR WHOLE FAMILY (jack-colby's daddy forever and ever)
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby
UNIONTOWN, PA USA - Saturday, March 29, 2003 10:45 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Matt,... thinking of you on your day.
Dan Kettmann <dkettman(at)mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO - Saturday, March 29, 2003 5:25 PM CST

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Dear Debbie and Family,
Many thoughts and prayers go out to you on this day. Your entry is beautiful and your plans to honor Matthew's life are truly meaningful. I think of you often.
Jocelyn - Carly's mom from ALL KIDS
Blue Bell, PA USA - Saturday, March 29, 2003 4:26 PM CST

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW!!!!!!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today as always!
Alice- aunt to angel Janie <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, March 29, 2003 3:24 PM CST

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Happy Birthday Matt!!!!! Thanks for the pictures of the kids. I loved Matthew's red hair and his awesome smile. I was blessed to see his smile more often than not. I still think of him and the family often. My continued prayers remain with the family. Debbie, why would the weather cooperate today??? Nothing went right for Matt so it seems ever fitting that on his 17th birthday it would be cold rainy, maybe some snow! If it was sunny it wouldn't seem right!! I think Matt would agree. At least now, in Heaven everything for him is alright and one day all will be alright with you and the family.
Love, Debra
Debra Spoljaric <debrams@bjc.org>
St. Louis, MO USA - Saturday, March 29, 2003 12:53 AM CST

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Happy Birthday Matthew! I will be praying for you extra hard today. I know it will be bittersweet. I loved the pictures on the page today very cute!
God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Saturday, March 29, 2003 9:33 AM CST

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More pictures of Julie!! Honeymoon Pictures!!
gamer who misses zof
- Friday, March 28, 2003 11:10 PM CST

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I learned from the Heavenly Lights newsletter that tomorrow marks Matthew's birthday. March 1st marked our Anna's sixth birthday. She would have been 18. This year, the days of the week fall in the same order they did in 1997. I know how you feel. I remember every day. There's nothing I remember more clearly than her and I wouldn't have it any different. I cry every day without apology. A mother is always a mother. The Lord picks me up every day, dries my tears and holds me close and I find reason to praise and thank Him. I pray you also will know His comforting embrace and blessed hope in a very special way.
Yolanda Rogers, Mommy to Anna, http://www.galatians5.com; <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Friday, March 28, 2003 9:29 AM CST

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Hi Debbie. Thinking of you this week. I know it is a difficult week for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Since we already celebrated a birthday without our Matt, I have to say that it was best for us to do the things that he loved to do. We went to the cabin and had a campfire - two things he loved to do. I vote for the barbecue on Saturday. Hang in there - you are stronger than you think.
Noelle Conover <nconover@sgi.net (www.caringbridge.org/ma/mattconover)>
Pittsburgh, Pa USA - Thursday, March 27, 2003 8:31 PM CST

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Thinking of you, as always, but especially right now. Hoping and praying that you are doing ok. Thinking of "our" wonderful Matt and praying that he will be walking beside you these next days. God bless you all. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, March 27, 2003 12:57 AM CST

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Thinking of you all at this tough time. I think of Matt a lot. Mary couldn't have said it better below. I will be praying for you all, especially in the next few days. Hang in there and take care of each other. I miss you seeing you all! ----the wedding pictures are amazing!!!
Mandy
St. Louis, - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 3:48 PM CST

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Dirk and Debbie,
Thinking of you during this difficult week. I wish there was something to say to make things hurt less, but hopefully knowing that so many are thinking and praying for you will make things bearable. There are so many wonderful memories I have of Matt. How he could always make me smile with his corky sense of humor and how he would get so impatient at times and how he would always want his mom. His smile is something I will never forget.
talk to you soon. Love always,
Mary
Mary Beck <megrant26@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 3:06 PM CST

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Thinking of you today on the 1 yr. anniversary of Matthew's BMT. I wish we were celebrating day +365. I remember that it was snowing on this day last year and there was some concern about the bone marrow arriving by plane. Today is beautiful and sunny in Rolla. We love you! Brian, Kim, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, mo - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 2:20 PM CST

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Debbie and Family,

As I am getting ready to face Tara's birthday for the first time without her here, I can understand your feelings. I am not sure if I should celebrate her life or mourn her death. We have decided to leave the city for a few weeks, so perhaps that will help ease the pain I feel.

My prayers are with you. I know that may not seem like enough at times...but you and I both know that our children would hate to see us so sad. I can hear my Tara now, "Smile, Mom. It will be okay." I just have to take a deep breath and do my best to take the next step.
I will say an extra prayer for you on Saturday and whatever you decide on...will be perfect.
With much love,
Sharon
Sharon <tarabethsmom@yahoo.com>
St. Louis, Mo - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 1:54 PM CST

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Debbie~

If your weather holds out, I think a barbeque sounds like a great way to celebrate Matt's birthday. I can only imagine how difficult the day will be for you, but maybe with friends and family it might at least be bearable.

Also, I beleive Gooch's site has a link to basic html things...his Mom has some really creative stuff on there.

Continuted thoughts for comfort...
Teri
Nashville, TN - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 10:45 AM CST

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I'm thinking of you and praying for your family as Matthew's birthday approaches.
Justine Germaine <jfgermaine@hotmail.com>
Madison, WI USA - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 10:15 AM CST

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Hello. I have signed your guestbook in the past, and do come back every once in a while. It seems I've "adopted" several Caringbridge websites...it's not too difficult to do. All of the different families touch my heart in different ways.

You mention that next year there won't be a "last year" with regard to your memories of your son. I understand completely what you are talking about. I lost my 64-yr-old mother on April 8th, 2002. This first year of "anniversaries" is extremely difficult. My Mother's birthday was in January, my Father's birthday in February, and my parent's wedding anniversary was this week on Monday. They were all hard in their own way. What I'm finding hardest, however, is the upcoming date of April 8th. It is hard to believe one year has gone by since we lost my Mother, and after that there won't be a "last year" as you mention. So, to answer your question (maybe?!), I understand completely what you are referring to. Everyone says it gets a little easier after the first year. Time will tell, I suppose.

I keep your family in my thoughts. God Bless all of you.

S. Walker
Chenango County, NY USA - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 7:41 AM CST

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Just wanted to let everyone know what a talented person Zofran was.

Since I didn't know him very personally, and only through FLF, his death honestly didn't hit me until about now, during that time when you have to think about where you want to go for four years after high school.

I hope that his family is in good health, and I wish them the best of life from here on out. I know I can't even comprehend how bad it is for his family, but I figure a little support can't hurt.
Andrew Cheung <andrewcheung@attbi.com>
Mercer Island, WA USA - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 1:25 AM CST

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Hi Debbie,
Just stopping to check in. How was Atlanta? I bet it was great to see Julie and Brad. You'll have to post some more of the wedding pictures, I'd love to see them. Hoping that you are having some of the awesome weather we are getting here in Illinois. I hope it is here to stay!! God bless you all! With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 1:46 PM CST

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I'm checking in to say hi! Did you have a good trip to Atlanta? Brian was asked to trade call weekends, so he is not on call this weekend(Mar. 29-30). Let us know if you want to have a celebration for Matthew's birth anniversary. Lots of love, Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, mo - Monday, March 24, 2003 5:42 PM CST

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I found your site through Mitch "Double M" Mathis. I am so sorry to hear you lost your son to this awful disease. We too lost our sweet little boy Seth.
You are in our thoughts and prayers

Ruthie (Seth's mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/sethlovestrains <Rbunkmann@msn.com>
North Palm Beach, Fl - Saturday, March 22, 2003 9:23 PM CST

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I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Matthew. The site is beautiful.....
Mary K Woody <springfever4944@aol.com>
Yakima, WA United States - Saturday, March 22, 2003 7:25 PM CST

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Thank you for sharing your precious Matthew with us. I am amazed at the courage and strength that our child showed. I too lost my precious son Adam at the age of twelve and he awed me too with the courage with which he faced each day. Our boys no longer face the battles they faced here on earth. Thank you for sharing your wonderful son with us.
You can visit my son at www.adamkevinkidd.com
Susan Kidd <akkidd@pacbell.net>
Santa Rosa, Ca USA - Saturday, March 22, 2003 5:46 PM CST

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Debbie,
I was thinking about you today, and wanted to send my love.
Take care!

Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
- Saturday, March 22, 2003 4:16 PM CST

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Hello Mr & Mrs. Hallemeier.
I continue to think of Matt often and keep you in my prayers.
Robin Porzelt
O'Fallon, MO USA - Friday, March 21, 2003 6:32 PM CST

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I was thinking about you and wanted to say hello. I enjoyed talking to you yesterday. Love you, Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, mo - Thursday, March 20, 2003 9:50 PM CST

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Thinking of you & keeping you in my Prayers. Jennifer (Ryan Grumish's cousin)
www.ryangrumish.com
Jennifer <greenboys4@aol.com>
Bradley, IL USA :) - Thursday, March 20, 2003 9:39 PM CST

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The pictures are beautiful. I just wanted to drop by and say hello. It has been a while. Love, Tracy

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook :) (Leukemia AML M4)

Tracy Solomon
- Thursday, March 20, 2003 2:37 PM CST

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Dear Debbie,
I think of Matt and your family often, your perspective and experience have helped me many times. I will always remember Matt. Quito was younger, but he loved video games too. Maybe Quito will meet Matt up there. Love, Robyn
Robyn Delgado <caringbridge.org/ca/quito>
- Thursday, March 20, 2003 1:56 AM CST

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Debbie,

I know the anniversary dates that are coming up will be hard. Try to grab some good memories from those times and hang on to them. I loved your trip pictures ~ it looks like the trip of a lifetime!
God bless,
Lisa Agee (www.caringbridge.com/page/ross) <lagee67@hotmail.com>
Camden, AL - Saturday, March 15, 2003 11:06 AM CST

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My condolences. I've never met your family or Matthew, but just by reading through your website I can see how special Matthew is. Its not right for children to have to go through things like this. Matthew's goodbye letter especially brought tears to my eyes...he was an incredibly strong boy. He's painfree now and probably having a blast in heaven. God Bless
Tracy
- Thursday, March 13, 2003 0:46 AM CST

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Debbie,

Dani and I will never ever forget Matthew. The poem that you posted is beautiful, and the letters that he wrote to his fellow gamers must make you so incredibly proud of him. Thank you for sharing him with us.
Laura Piper, mom to Dani, ALL-Kids <laurapiper@hotmail.com>
Hampton, IA - Wednesday, March 12, 2003 9:21 PM CST

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Debbie,

I hear from you from time to time on ALL-KIDS but I just wanted you to know that I think of you and your family often. I'm glad you guys had a good time on your trip to Australia. I'm also glad that Christopher's surgery went well and that things are going well for Julie. All of you deserve some happiness in your lives. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

JenniferK, mommy to Tyler-4 (dx. early pre-B ALL 2-12-02)
www.caringbridge.com/ok/tyler.king

Jennifer King <thekings@kindwords.com>
Blanchard, OK USA - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 9:08 PM CST

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Your pictures of your trip are wonderful. I am glad you had a nice time. I am sure the milestones in March will stir up a lot of memories both good and bad. Wishing you strength during this month.
Roberta Kishbaugh
- Tuesday, March 11, 2003 6:49 PM CST

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I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR YOUR TERRIBLE LOSS. I HOPE YOUR PAIN GETS LESS ACUTE WITH THE PASSING OF THE YEARS. TRY TO REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES ! HE WILL BE HAPPIER IN HEAVEN KNOWING THAT HIS DEAR PARENTS ARE HAPPY TOO. ONE DAY YOU WILL REUNITE AGAIN. KISSES
ROSE
BRASILIA, DF BRAZIL - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 1:30 PM CST

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Welcome Back! Still checking up on you.....hope things are going well. Good to see the updates!

LeeAnn Barnard <lsbarnard@hotmail.com>
Selma, IN USA - Sunday, March 9, 2003 7:21 PM CST

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Hi Debbie, I just wanted you to know that you and Matthew are still in our thoughts. Glad you had a nice vacation.
Vicki & Duncan <http://www.caringbridge.org/page/duncan/>
Copper Canyon, TX USA - Sunday, March 9, 2003 0:17 AM CST

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Thinking of your family and sending hugs.
Courage,
Dana
Dana Doctor Zackie's web link
- Thursday, March 6, 2003 7:03 PM CST

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Welcome home. Keeping you & your family in my thoughts & prayers.
Candice Behm <candice333@netzero.net>
Portland, OR USA - Thursday, March 6, 2003 3:51 PM CST

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Hi Debbie, What an amazing trip you had to the lands Down Under. I am glad you had a chance to get away. I am still praying for you all. Rosie is doing well at almost one year off-treatment. My perspective is always "adjusted" when I visit your page...the little bumps we are facing are in fact just little bumps. Wishing you peace. I have a new e-mail address.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger <Rumberger@alamedanet.net>
Alameda, CA USA - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 12:21 AM CST

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Hi Debbie,
Welcome Home!! I sincerely hope that the trip was grand. I thought about and prayed for you often, and can't wait to hear more about your trip.
All my love,

Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
st. louis, mo - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 8:58 AM CST

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Debbie ~
Welcome home! I wish I could come over and give you a big hug {{{{{{Debbie}}}}}}. Liz wrote to tell me how wonderful it was to meet you and Dirk. I know it was so hard in the internet cafe to see the teens playing Matt's game. So many difficult and painful emotions to deal with.....my heart is with you. I know you miss Matthew more than words can express. All you can do is take it one day at time, my friend. We are all praying for your family and especially for an easy and successful surgery and recovery for Christopher soon. Thank you for sharing that beautiful poem, it brought tears to my eyes. And thank you for the photos of your kids you have posted. I will always remember Matthew's handsome, smiling face. He's still my Hero.
Take care, you are always in my thoughts and in my heart ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 0:41 AM CST

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I'm so glad you had such a nice trip. What an amazing experience! I just want you to know that your family is in our prayers!!
Christi Hamilton <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Monday, March 3, 2003 6:11 PM CST

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Debbie-

Just checking in on you. I am sure you are still trying to catch up on sleep from your trip. My friend moved to Melbourne a year ago...she was here in December and telling me all about Australia. I really haven't been one to want to leave the country, but I would consider going to Australia. Did you see any Kangaroos? Thanks for signing Mitchell's guestbook and checking in on him. It means the world to me that you would take the time to do this.
Diane Mathis <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Monday, March 3, 2003 9:44 AM CST

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Debbie, I just wanted to sign in to let you know that you and your family are continually in my thoughts and prayers. I'm glad you were able to enjoy your much needed time away. I will continue to check in on you. Know that you are loved and cared for. If there's ever anything I can do besides pray, please don't hesitate to let me know--I'll be right here waiting. Blessings!
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT aplastic anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, March 3, 2003 8:11 AM CST

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Hi Debbie-
I wish I would have known you were feeling bad yesterday when you left a message for me. I would have come over so we could be sad together. I thought that you were probably catching up on some MUCH NEEDED sleep. I will call you today after church. I am SO glad that you and Dirk had such a good trip and are home safe and sound. Thanks for checking in and leaving a message on Alexandria's website. I know she would be so excited at the number of hits it has received. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Unfortunately there are too many of us......parents grieving from their children dying of cancer.
God Bless-Alison Haddock
Mom to Alexandria forever
www.caringbridge.com/page/alexandriasangels
Alison H <AGHaddock@msn.com>
O ' Fallon, MO - Sunday, March 2, 2003 7:38 AM CST

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Debbie, I am glad you got some time away, although it was a bittersweet time. Missing Matthew is going to be an ongoing thing, the hole in your lives will never be filled. He was a remarkable young man. Hugs & prayers....

Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Saturday, March 1, 2003 10:45 PM CST

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Welcome back!!! Sounds like you had a great time. I still think of Matt and your family. I'll say some prayers for a succussful surgery for Christopher. And happy house hunting for Julie and Brad.
Debra Spoljaric
St. Louis, MO USA - Saturday, March 1, 2003 6:33 PM CST

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Glad that you made it back, safe and sound. I missed "talking" with you over email! Will be praying for your reentry this week.
Noelle Conover, www.caringbridge.com/ma/mattconover <nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Saturday, March 1, 2003 4:21 PM CST

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Glad to here that you are safely back home and that you had a good trip. Your family remains in my thoughts and prayers.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Saturday, March 1, 2003 3:42 PM CST

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Memory of Matthew lives on. I was thinking about him today. I thought I would let you know.

God Bless!
Anita Moore mother of Holly (www.caringbridge.org/mo/hollyemoore)
Sikeston, MO - Thursday, February 27, 2003 1:05 PM CST

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Thank you for sharing your sons posts to his friends. I, too lost a son and his attitude was somewhat the same. IT makes it easier to know that a person was not afraid to die. It is so hard for the family and friends that are left behind though. your in my prayers.
Sharon <mopgal@hotmail.com>
Dardanelle, ar - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 6:10 PM CST

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Debbie and Dirk,
I so miss your entries. I hope you are enjoying yourselves. Praying every day for all of you. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 2:11 PM CST

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Thanks for sharing your brave son's letters to his friends. I lost my mother rather suddenly despite her having been sick with a chronic illness. I've been tortured with wondering if she knew she was going to die and was she ready for it. After reading Matt's letters and comparing them to things she did/said, it made me feel better about her leaving so suddenly. For that, I thank you.
Jennifer
Pittsburgh, PA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 7:55 PM CST

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Thank you for sharing through your journal entries. I just came across your caringbridge page tonight. Words can't express how your story has touched me.
(My daughter had ALL,relapsed, had stem cell transplant, died on January 4, 2003)
Reading your journals are helping me now. Thank you.
Janet Sims, mom to Janie-forever 5 years old www.caringbridge.org/al/janiesims
Birmingham, AL - Thursday, February 20, 2003 10:11 PM CST

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Debbie and Dirk,
I hope you are enjoying your trip and relaxing. You both deserve this trip so much. I know Matt is looking down and smiling! I miss your updates. I can't wait to hear from you when you get back. May God watch over your travels. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, February 18, 2003 2:40 PM CST

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Debbie, months ago when the postings from the FLF community started to appear I went to a couple of the sites they mentioned and was amazed. I found the threads that Matt started with his messages, and was very touched by the outpouring of support that all of his virtual friends offered. It goes with out saying he has touched thousands of lives around the world.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Saturday, February 15, 2003 10:05 AM CST

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I found this for you,

He lost the battle to cancer, you say.
Cancer's the winner? Do you see it that way?

To die is to lose? Is that how it ends?
So then can you tell me, does anyone win?

Death comes to us all, so everyone loses?
Why play the game? If that's what God chooses?

I fail to see it that way at all.
Play the game how you want
You make the call.

When it's the end, only you and God know
If you win or lose and which way you will go.

So don't tell me I lost for that is a lie.
It's all how you live Not how you die.

By Paul Cox
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
Newcastle, - Friday, February 14, 2003 3:19 PM CST

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Just wanted you to know I pray for you and your family.

Michelle Suter (Alexandria's aunt) <michelle1210@yahoo.com>
- Friday, February 14, 2003 2:02 PM CST

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Just checking in on you and your family. Your entries bring fresh tears to my eyes as I read about Ross' strength in facing something no young person should have to face. I wanted to let you know although we've never met, that you and your family are thought of everyday and you are in my prayers. Wishing you strength and hope.
Karen
Minneapolis, Mn - Thursday, February 13, 2003 9:40 PM CST

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Debbie and Dirk,
I hope your flight to New Zealand went well. Debbie you were in my thoughts and prayers for a peaceful and comforting flight. Take care, and enjoy your journey.
All my love,
Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
- Wednesday, February 12, 2003 7:48 AM CST

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Hope you are enjoying your trip "down under". Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Matthew was a special young man.
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Monday, February 10, 2003 10:51 PM CST

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Dear Hallemeiers,

Just letting you know that I still keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I check in all the time to see how you are doing. Thank you for sharing Matthew with everyone. He was quite an amazing young man.
Kelli Petermeyer
Murray, KY - Monday, February 10, 2003 7:18 PM CST

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Matt -

I came back to #frontline one day, after a long break, hoping to catch up with old friends, I learn that one of those friends is gone. I never knew you too well, but after reading your goodbye post, all the little things came flooding back. Its weird what you remember. All the stupid stuff we used to say in irc, and the hours ingame. It wasnt enough. There were more good times to be had. I find myself scouring old logs.. trying recapture something, indescribable and unobtainable. Maybe to notice somethng new, something subtle in those old messages. Youve caused such emotion in someone whom you never even met face to face. For some reason, all of us there became more to eachother than anonymous handles throwing out quips into the lonely void of the internet, we became friends. You must have touched more people than you ever knew.
You won't be forgotton.

Goodbye Matthew. GG Zofran.
Christopher <chrism@gearboxsoftware.com>
Austin, TX USA - Sunday, February 9, 2003 9:48 PM CST

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Debbie,
Thank you so much for sharing Matthew's posts. He was such an amazing young man. His strength and character were so obvious. I hope you can take comfort in his words.
Thinking and praying for your family always,
Lisa Agee (www.caringbridge.com/page/ross) <lagee67@hotmail.com>
Camden, AL - Sunday, February 9, 2003 9:03 PM CST

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Dear Debbie - I was astonished at the calm and philosophical attitude that Matthew took in his last emails to his FLF friends. What a exceptional young guy ... and what a loss. I often think of you and of him, and say a prayer that his soul is at peace and that you will be comforted. I hope the trip to Australia and NZ is a bit of help.
Love, Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Saturday, February 8, 2003 4:19 PM CST

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Wow, Im like in tears here reading about this guy. I wish I had met him.
Nick
- Saturday, February 8, 2003 3:29 PM CST

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I read Matthew's letters and was very moved and impressed. He was quite an inspirational guy and he and your family will always be in my thoughts.


Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Saturday, February 8, 2003 2:50 PM CST

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Just writing to let you know that you are still so much in my thoughts and prayers. I know it must be very hard for all of you to adjust. I am praying for that. I know the Lord is with you--and I know it is still the hardest thing you've ever had to do. Also praying for your safety in Australia and that your trip goes well and gives you some much needed relaxation. Blessings to you!
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Saturday, February 8, 2003 8:25 AM CST

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THank you for sharing his last posts to his friends. We often wonder what is going on in our kids's mind as they fight their battles. You should be proud of MAtt. Still keeping you all in our prayers.
Margie <gscrazy@juno.com>
Ft. Lewis, WA USA - Saturday, February 8, 2003 1:21 AM CST

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After reading what your son had posted to his friends at FLF. I was myself in tears. What a boy he was ready to deal with whatever life gave him. I am sorry it wasn't a longer life. I still continue to pray for your family.
Gail Prouse <RGProuse@aol.com>
Ocean City, MD USA - Friday, February 7, 2003 8:14 PM CST

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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hallemeier,
I worked with Julie at the Tourism Commission in Murray, KY this past summer. I have been continuing to check your website. Thank you for sharing Matthew's life with me, it has been an inspiration. I will continue to pray for your family. Please tell Julie, I said hello!
Sarah Calvin <sec712@yahoo.com>
Nashville , TN USA - Friday, February 7, 2003 2:39 PM CST

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We have never met. I am sorry that I never got to know Matthew. His letters made me cry. I am glad that you found comfort in his words. Thanks for sharing.
Christine
- Thursday, February 6, 2003 10:58 PM CST

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Debbie and Dirk, reading those letters of Matthew's made me cry. What an incredible kid! I think of you guys often, and hope for your continued healing. You did a fantastic job as parents to Matthew.....hold each other tight and keep remembering the good things.
LeeAnn Barnard <lsbarnard@hotmail.com>
Selma, IN USA - Thursday, February 6, 2003 3:34 PM CST

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Remembering Matthew today and every day. I come here often to check up on you. Thanks for posting Matthew's thoughts. He was a very brave young man.
Anita Moore (www.caringbridge.org/mo/hollyemoore)
Sikeston, MO - Thursday, February 6, 2003 1:56 PM CST

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Dear Debbie, Just finnished reading Matthews letters of goodbye. I cannot believe how brave and bold he was in telling his buddies about his destiney. I am sure he is busy up there in heaven, for God surely took him for a good reason. It is snowing out, and it looks like tiny angel feathers raining down. We will keep you in our prayers. Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Thursday, February 6, 2003 8:03 AM CST

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Thank you for sharing your amazing, remarkable, beautiful son with all of us...that entry touched my heart so deeply. I know for so many of us who have lost children to this dreaded disease, our beloved children gave us morsels of wisdom and love to help us cope in some way with their loss. I know reading these words burns your soul, yet also gives you a bit of comfort...to know he was so brave and unafraid. There is much to be learned from such a warrior as your Matt. God bless you and keep you strong...Thank you, Kathy Charlton
Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel
- Thursday, February 6, 2003 7:09 AM CST

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Dear Debbie, Was able to finally visit your website and was so touched by what your son wrote. It amazes me how these young men when faced with their own mortality can exhibit such calm and acceptance. I can't imagine being able to sit and write what your son did so maturely. Letting his friends know in his own words that he was not afraid. He obviously was a very strong young man.
Roberta Kishbaugh
- Wednesday, February 5, 2003 11:28 PM CST

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i am Roberta Kishbaughs niece cousin of Ryan...Its hard... but be orud of your son--he had such a great smile. i bet it lit up the room. remember his goodness and let that goodness fill you wiht hope in your heart.. that life still has meaning.
Patricia Kline
reading, pa usa - Wednesday, February 5, 2003 1:16 AM CST

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I found my way here through Gooch's webpage, and I am so glad that I did. Matthew must have been a very brave young man to be able to face what he did and still be so concerned of other peoples feelings. God bless you.
http://www.caringbridge.org/al/jackson
Kristal Dickson <kdickson39@aol.com>
Wilmer, Al USA - Tueday, February 4, 2003 10:14 PM CST

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Debbie,
Thank you for sharing Matthew's story. He truly was a brave young man with maturity beyond his years. Hoping that you and your family are finding peace and understanding.
Enjoy your trip down under.

Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL - Tueday, February 4, 2003 10:12 PM CST

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Debbie,
That is such beautiful entry. Thanks so much for sharing.
Sending Peace and Love, and lots of prayers.
All my love,
gelene
Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
- Tueday, February 4, 2003 8:23 PM CST

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I am a friend of Noelle's from Pittsburgh, and through her Matt's site, I found yours. The letters your son sent to his friends were so strong and brave and peaceful. I can see why they give you some comfort. You must be very proud.
Jennifer
Pittsburgh, PA - Tueday, February 4, 2003 7:36 PM CST

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Dear Debbie and Family:

I have followed Matthew’s website for a long time. I was very moved by his FLF postings – obviously Matthew was very brave and mature beyond his years. I can understand why you are so proud of him. Thanks for continuing to update his journal. I get a lot of inspiration reading your postings and am reinforced on how important it is not to take anything about life for granted. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with your family.
Jean B./Minnesota

Jean Bass <jbass@cbburnet.com>
Minneapolis, MN - Tueday, February 4, 2003 4:34 PM CST

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Hi Debbie and Dirk,
I stop by every few days to see if you've added anything new. I'm so glad you keep posting and keep us up to date. Hope your trip is great. I know everything is hard, but we all appreciate knowing you and your family. Thanks too, for the pictures. I feel like I know all your family, and I wish you all the best!
Love,
Barb
Barbara Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, CA USA - Tueday, February 4, 2003 1:06 AM CST

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Hi Debra, I hadn'thad a chance to drop by and check your site until tonight. You and your family continue to be in our prayers. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.
Margie <gscrazy@juno.com>
Ft. Lewis, WA USA - Monday, February 3, 2003 2:07 AM CST

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Thinking of your family often and know how difficult the last six months have been for you all. Our hearts continue to ache for the loss of our loved ones, but our memories with them will continue forever. Sure, I miss my brother terribly and would do anything to have him back again, but I've come to realize that isn't going to happen. I relish in the stories, pictures, videos, memories, etc. of him and our family together. I'm sure you are doing the same with Matthew. My heartfelt thoughts are with you ALL and I'm wishing the best for you in the days, months, and years ahead. Thank you for keeping Matthew's site still active, we enjoy keeping up on the family and honoring Matthew.

Hugs,
Vicki Hoffman, sis to Angel Mike Hunter <www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike>
Anaheim (home of the World Champion Anaheim Angels), CA - Saturday, February 1, 2003 12:52 AM CST

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WOW Debbie.....6 months since your precious Matt arrived in heaven! I can't believe it. The happy memories will keep him close. I'm glad you're tucking Matthew away and bringing him on the trip! We are looking forward to seeing you all too! Are you packing yet?!!! The weather has been nice and hot lately. I hope it continues for your visit!
Take care & see you soon!!!
Love & cuddles,
Liz & her precious gang! XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 07:37 PM (CST)

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Dear Family of Matthew, I am writing from upstate NY. I have a young friend at Sloan Kettering now with Leukemia. I am learning about the disease though my friend. I did learn of Burkitt's Lymphoma from my 5 year old grandson who as you said joined the angels 16 years ago . It seems so long ago and yet he is always with me. I was touched by what you said about hoping the memories of the last days of the illness(I'm paraphrasing) would fade. They were and still are my most vivid memories of his illness. He was a beautiful boy and i try to picture him in the arms of my mother and his other grandparents and great-grandparents in heaven and that is my comfort as well as memories of he and my daughter and he playing together. They were three weeks apart. MY daughter Kim (Aaron's mom) taught me all I know about how to handle grief. She began by making it our family funeral, planned together, participated in together. we wrote the elergy as a family. From then on not a day went by that we didn't talk of Aaron and keep him in the "family". I admire your courage and hope that the trip brings some peace and distraction and FUN! Bless you and your family-I'm sure you have comforted and cared for many others. Sincerely Pat Wootan
Pat Wootan <pwootan38 @hotmail.com>
kingston, NY USA - Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 07:06 PM (CST)

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I just finished reading all your journal entries. No family should have to deal with such a thing. I can see your family is close and that is going to help you get through this. When I read these journals I was praying the outcome would be different. I am so sorry for your loss. I know words don't help. Please know that there are people out there that do care about other people and what they go through. Your whole family will be in my prayers.
Gail Prouse <RGProuse@aol.com>
Ocean City, MD USA - Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 03:56 PM (CST)

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Debbie and family, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. He has the same red hair that my John had. The poem on his site is beautiful. Your Angel is waiting for you and loving you from Heaven, I pray the years pass quickly until the time you hold him once more. Lorraine(Mom to John, 8, dx ALL)
LorraineCotter <Lorrainecott@aol.com>
Pgh, PA USA - Wednesday, January 29, 2003 at 11:34 PM (CST)

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Debbie and Dirk,
I have just completed reading your journal on Matthew's struggle with Leukemia. I lost my neice(Janie Sims)from leukemia on Jan.4,2003. Your entries and your thoughts have helped me to understand better what her parents(my brother and sister-in-law)are going through. I too am a nurse and deal with death from time to time but nothing prepares us for the death of someone so close to us. My prayers are with you and your family that the painful times of the past 2+ tears will gradually fade and only the wonderful memories of Matthew will be left.
Enjoy your trip!
Alice <asd507@hotmail.com>
Birmingham, AL USA - Wednesday, January 29, 2003 at 07:50 PM (CST)

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Debbie and family,
Thinking about you and Matthew constantly. I hope you have a great trip and that you will share some pictures with us. Thanks for keeping us posted.


Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Wednesday, January 29, 2003 at 08:15 AM (CST)

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Hi Hall Family:

Just dropped by to say Hello and let you know that you're in my thoughts. I hope you have a wonderful time in Australia and New Zealand.

Amie <webmaster@chubbychica.com>
South Windsor, CT - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 07:18 AM (CST)

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Debbie-

I hope you and your family are staying warm. I still think about Matt. He and our Johnny are hanging out like friends do in heaven. Grant and Allison so appreciate your love and support. Alexandria is something else...I will visit again.
Peter
Indy, - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 09:44 PM (CST)

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Debbie,
I'm sorry I missed the six month anniversary ~ I know those dates are really hard for you. Thank you so much for continuing this site and for keeping your "cyber friends" updated. We care about you so much and are praying for you. Enjoy your trip - I can't wait to hear all about it!
God bless,
Lisa Agee (www.caringbridge.com/page/ross) <lagee67@hotmail.com>
Camden, AL - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 09:00 AM (CST)

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Hi, I found Matthew's website link when I was visiting Mike Hunter's site. Mike was my son Chris' best friend. Thank you for the poem. It is definetly a keeper. These CaringBridge sites are a wonderful way to keep the memories of the angels among us and those watching over us like Mike and Matthew in our hearts and minds. Thanks for letting me share.
Linda Augenstein <ljapple@aol.com>
Tucson, AZ - Sunday, January 26, 2003 at 09:28 PM (CST)

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i know this is late to say but i was reading the forums on front line force about this guy i have to say it is pretty bad sorry for you loss i had to respond to this cause my dad went the same way all i know hes in a better place now
-||*||-Nighthawk-||*||-
- Saturday, January 25, 2003 at 07:13 PM (CST)

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Thinking of your family often, especially Matt. He touched so many lives-probably more than you will ever know. He will always have a special place in my heart. Continue to pray for you.
Mary <megrant26@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, mo - Saturday, January 25, 2003 at 02:03 PM (CST)

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My heart aches for you...as a parent I could not and hope to never ever have to experience...please forgive me my selfishness in that respect...
Please add this precious baby to your prayers...
http://caringbridge.org/pa/carterfinger/index.htm
a friend
Pittsburgh , PA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 09:59 PM (CST)

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Best wishes for your vacation to Kangaroo land. I'm still thinking of Matthew, especially when I am doing really good in a game online, I think sometimes maybe he's helping me out. I still have the [zof] appended to my name, and I just wanted to let you know I appreciate you taking the effort to let us know how you are doing. If you ever need anything (especially computer help) let me know.
Dan Kettmann <dkettmann@citifinancial.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 06:11 PM (CST)

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Thinking of you all! Take care and please call if I can do anything. We all still talk about how much we liked having Matthew around here...he made us all smile and laugh!!
Mandy
- Friday, January 24, 2003 at 04:12 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie-
I am so thankful that you are keeping the website going. I am sure everyone will agree with me that are prayers have been and will continue to be with you, Dirk, Julie and Christopher. Thanks for touching our lives so deeply. Now if Grant and I could only figure out how to stow away in your bags to Austrailia.....everything would be great!!!!!
love and prayers-
Alison Haddock
www.caringbridge.com/page/alexandriasangels
Alison Haddock <AGHaddock@msn.com>
O' Fallon, MO - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 03:11 PM (CST)

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Hello. I signed your guestbook a couple of days ago and wanted to let you know that yesterday afternoon I felt compelled to come back and read more of your journal. Somehow I felt that by only reading a few of the last journal entries, I was not being fair enough to your son's memory and his family. So.....I went back to July 2002 and was immediately amazed at your courage and strength to add daily journal entries. I am sure your family and friends were so thankful for that, but it will also give you a wonderful "log" of your love and care for your son.

I think the idea of putting all of your own journal entries and the CaringBridge entries together in one document is wonderful! I have often wondered if the family of our hometown hero (that passed away Christmas night 2002) is also doing the same thing. I also think your attempts of writing down the fond memories that you had with Matthew is of upmost importance. When my Mother passed away last April, I spent the next few days scurrying around with all of the funeral arrangements, but EVERY time I thought of something that made me smile, I jotted that memory down. I used part of those things for discussions with the Pastor before her funeral service, and also as part of my eulogy for my Mother.

I am not sure if any of what I have wrote matters to you, but I know that you said in your journal that you weren't sure if anyone would want to read the entries about your son. I am one person that did read them, and cried, even though I don't know your family at all. I guess part of my care is because of my own loss of a close family member, and then the loss of our 10-yr-old Justin last month. It all makes me look at life so differently.

Well, enough said. I did try to sign your guestbook yesterday but kept getting error messages.

Again, my best wishes for your family from Upstate New York!

S. Walker
Chenango County, NY USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 07:15 AM (CST)

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Enjoy your trip to Australia. I live in Adelaide, South Australia, its been damn hot recently and im sure you'll enjoy the weather. Today and the next its going to be in the 40's (degrees). I came upon your site from FLF. My best friends brother died of Leukemia at age 7, I hope in time you can move on and heal the pain. Good wishes to your whole family and have fun in Oz
Emil - Age 19 <ezankov@hotmail.com>
Adelaide, SA Australia - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 07:13 AM (CST)

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Hi there you guys, this is Shannon from Vancouver. Just checking in, like I do every couple of days. I still think about Matthew all the time. I wish I could have met him. Anyway, just wanted to say hi. Bye for now.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 01:10 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie,

I haven’t been able to sign on for over a week and was pleased to see your recent entry! You just amaze me, being so willing to keep up Matthew’s journal for everyone to read! What a SPECIAL MOM you are and what a SPECIAL YOUNG MAN Matthew is. I say IS because he lives on, lives on in your love for him, the love of so many who never got to meet him in person, and in his undying love for you. God is good that way, He allows the love to stay FOREVER in our hearts and minds.

I don’t know why I have felt so close to Matthew?? Maybe because when my friend asked me to pray for him and I logged onto your site I saw you were in the St. Louis area, I was born in St. Louis and still have family there. My grandparents owned Dohack’s BBQ at Lemay and Lindburgh forever (now it is an Uncle Bill’s). Maybe it is because Matthew is one of my favorite names. Maybe because I lost my brother when I was 11 and he was 7 and I see so much of what Mom went through in your posts. I don’t know why, just know that from that first day long ago I’ve read EVERY entry in Matthew’s journal, laughing with you at the good things, tears streaming down my face for you and your family during the hard times, and sobbing when I read the entry the day Matthew returned home to his Lord. I just want to thank you for letting me be part of Matthew’s life!

My cousin is currently battling leukemia. He was paralyzed from tumors or lesions on his spine but is finally home and SLOWLY improving. I’ve learned so much from what you have shared here that helps me understand just a little what he is going through – THANK YOU!

May God continue to comfort you and your family. I pray that only the WONDERFUL memories will soon be in your mind, and know that day WILL come! Have a wonderful trip, it sounds great. Know you remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely, Bonnie

Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 09:46 PM (CST)

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Debbie,

It is a very poignant poem. Dani and I read your updates on Matthew every day and while we never met, it felt like we had lost a very special friend when he died. Your family will always have a place in our hearts. I hope you have a wonderful vacation.
Laura Piper, mom to Dani, ALL-Kids <laurapiper@hotmail.com>
Hampton, IA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 02:26 PM (CST)

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May God continue to hold you in His arms. I do not know you and your family, but my heart goes out to you as the tears roll down my face. Continue to lean on God for strength and comfort -- He can move mountains and therefore, can wipe away all sad memories and leave you with a great deal of joy! Enjoy your trip - sounds absolutely wonderful, just what the Doctor ordered, perhaps. My prayers are with you!
Kelley Johnson <kjtaxi4kids@msn.com>
Westerville, OH Franklin - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 02:12 PM (CST)

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~*Hallemeier Family*~
Hey, you are right it is soooo hard to believe that it has been almost 6 months since Matt has passed away. It feels like just yesterday him and I were on the big yellow school bus on our way to school. Those were the best times that I spent with Matt and I will never forget them. I really hope things get better for you and your family. You are always in my prayers and I always think about Matt. In fact the other day I was looking through all the school year books and I came across Matt's picture, a tear fell down my face. I miss him like crazy and I know you do the most! Hang in there and yes the good memories will eventually replace the bad ones, it all takes time and I admire you and your family. My prayers are still with you!! Stay warm!! 8)

Love Always,
Danielle Rampani
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Danielle Rampani <Hottangel77@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 01:44 PM (CST)

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I just read your journal. You are a very strong family. I know that its been hard for you i lost a son 9 + years ago.......... Mostly we have the good memories left now but every once in awhile I think ofsomething i want to tell him and remember I can't... May God be with you and comfort you
Sharon <mopgal@hotmail.com>
Dardanelle, ar - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 09:53 AM (CST)

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Debbie,
I'm sorry I was not able to sign in yesterday. I was thinking of your whole family. I too can hardly believe that it has been six months since Matt left to be with Jesus. I can remember logging on and reading that journal entry. I just sat at my desk with tears running down my face. I did not know that it would hurt so bad....when it is someone you haven't "actually" met. But like I've told you before, Matt hit a special spot in my heart for whatever reason, and he will remain there forever. I think of you daily and pray for you each day too. I know that God is still holding you up and that Matt is there to give you strength. I think your trip sounds wonderful, I'd love to sneak along in your suitcase!! May God continue to bless your family and I will be back soon to check in. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 09:11 AM (CST)

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Still miss you ZOF !!!

Thanks for the good times!!

AND thanks for more pictures of Julie !!
GG
- Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 11:41 PM (CST)

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Debbie- What a beautiful poem. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for "adopting" Mitch. The thought that you will actually do that makes me so happy, as I know you, of all people, know exactly what Mitch, and his family, are going through. I think of you and Matt often.
Diane (Mitchell's mom) <Stubby3620@aol.com>
- Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 07:03 PM (CST)

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I just visited Katia Solomon's site (from FL) and saw where you signed her guestbook and had a link to your son's site. I am so sorry for your loss. The only way I know of Tracy & Katia is because Tracy took the time to sign the guestbook of Justin Bryce, a 10-yr-old from my hometown that passed away Christmas night. I cannot imagine how difficult your time has been since losing your son. I lost my beloved mother in April 2002 and the holidays were difficult enough for me. I cannot imagine it without my husband or children, however.

I just wanted to take the time to say hello to you and your family. With best wishes from Upstate New York...

S. Walker
Chenango County, NY USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 03:35 PM (CST)

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Dear Debbie, thank you for keeping Matthews page going, we always check to see how everyone is doing. Your vacation plans sound wonderful, and I know you will find plenty of peaceful scenes to fill your heart and soul with. Be sure to take a lot of pictures and video! We will keep your family in our prayers. Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 03:01 PM (CST)

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Thinking of you today and every day. We love you!
Brian, Kim, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke
Rolla, MO - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 01:50 PM (CST)

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Thinking of Matthew today...
Teri
Nashville, TN - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 12:51 PM (CST)

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Just stopped in to see how you are doing. Your upcoming trip sounds amazing! I hope you're having a good week!!
Christi Hamilton <hamilton.fam@cox.net>
Dove Canyon, CA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 11:56 AM (CST)

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Hi Dirk and Debbie:
You have been close to our hearts this holiday season. We continue to pray for the pain to heal. Glad you will be able to take a vacation. It sounds like a dream trip and I know that the beauty of that area is like nothing you see in MO. We love you guys and will continue to look forward to a visit from you to HHI
Sherri Spicer <slspicer@hargray.com>
Bluffton, SC - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 11:56 AM (CST)

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Hi there...just wanted to let you know that I am still out here praying for you and your family. I enjoyed seeing the very cute pictures of Matthew, Julie & Christopher. I hope that yall have a wonderful vacation. God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 10:16 AM (CST)

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Debbie, I want you to know that you have etched a very special place in my heart as a sister in Christ. It is natural to feel closer to those you know love Jesus and it is apparent that you do. I'm so glad you have that during this difficult time because even though I know that it in no way takes away the pain of missing Matthew, I DO know that it is awesome to see you know that the Lord is there and attempt to lean on Him for strength at every turn. I will definitely continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. And, thanks for signing in on my site as well--it means a lot to me. God bless you and know I'll be checking back often and praying continually.
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT aplastic anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 11:56 PM (CST)

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I check in often and read your entries.. How lucky Matthew is to have a caring family such as yours.. I know he feels truly blessed..


Randy <paymgr1@aol.com>
Aliso Viejo, CA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 11:51 PM (CST)

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Man, i dont even know you, i just downloaded FLF and on installation seeing the dedication, so i clicked to see what was up and read your forum post, really really sorry man best of luck in the afterlife, send me a postcard, good bye :(
Lee Whitham <pistole_tfc@hotmail.com>
England - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 01:23 PM (CST)

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As I read your website tears filled my eyes. I have a little boy who is now five years post transplant. I can only imagine how hard it was for your family to go through that. My heart goes out to you and your family. Please know that people in Texas will help keep his memory alive so he will always be in your heart and ours! God Bless you!
www.babyliz.com
Trevy Haley <babyliz@earthlink.net>
Fort Worth , Texas USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 08:43 PM (CST)

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Just a quick note to say I still come by to check on Matthew's site. The fact that it has had 106308 hits suggests that many other people do too. I hope this brings some comfort to your family, that so many people still think about Matthew in such a positive way.
Helen <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
Newcastle, UK, - Sunday, January 19, 2003 at 02:52 PM (CST)

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Debbie, I think about Matthew often.
Kathy
Davidsonville, MD 21035 - Sunday, January 19, 2003 at 12:40 AM (CST)

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Debbie, my friend Amie & I are trying to raise awareness and generate more support and prayers for more kids' sites. If you havent already, soon you will be getting guestbook messages from someone who has "adopted" your site (that is, unless you dont want to participate). Many of us have the common bond of having our lives turned upside down, and a few are in the unbearable situation you are. I know encouragement from others is important. We hope you are doing ok and will be praying for you
Chris ~ Gooch's Site
Adopt a Kid's site Here

- Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 08:14 AM (CST)

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I have learned one big thing about the Caringbridge Family. People do keep coming back and checking and I think that is great to do. I wanted you to know I am praying for you. I have you on my favorite list so I will keep coming back to check on you. Love, Tracy
Katia's page
Tracy Solomon
Tampa, FL - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 04:19 AM (CST)

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Hi, I just was on Alexandria's website and I saw your link. I had heard about Matthew last year when he was fighting his battle. My mother volunteers at FISH and had been praying for him and your family and had asked me to also. I had heard he was a wonderful boy, and after reading your journal, I can see that is so true. He has also touched many, many lives. My cousin is a friend of Alexandria's mother and I have heard of how much you mean to her.
I am so sorry for the loss you have endured and also for the pain your son had to suffer. Thank you for sharing your experience with each of us, it means more than you will ever know. It is because your words, we are reminded how very precious life is and what matters most. Your family willl remain in my prayers. God bless you all.
Katy Davis <vdavis@mail.win.org>
St. Peters, MO USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 10:14 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie-

Just wanted to stop in to let you know how much I am thinking of you and your entire family. Lots of love and healing thoughts coming your way.
Annie Thomas <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 09:59 PM (CST)

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Debbie,
Just doing my usual check in to see how you are doing. I "adopted" Matt off Gooch's caringbridge site. I am very proud to have been able to do this. I always loved coming to Matt's site and looking at his great smile. I continue to look at his smile each time I come and think of him smiling back from God's beautiful heavens. I pray for you all each day, that God will give you the strength to get through......day by day. May God bless you all. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 04:07 PM (CST)

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Dear Debbie,
I am so glad the holidays are over. It was a hectic one for our family, as we traveled to West Virginia for my grandma's 90th birthday. It really made me think, at 90 years old, who really controls our days on this earth, and when it is time, our loved ones will be taken. Strange how some live to be 90 and some live for just a few years. Life is so perplexing. Hope you and your family are doing well. We keep you all in our prayers. Love, Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 12:33 AM (CST)

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I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you may find peace.

My son's website

Jim, Kim and Taylor
Jim <webmaster@taylorwatts.org>
McCalla, AL USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 10:41 PM (CST)

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Dear Mr.& Mrs. Hallemeier-

I am a friend of the Haddocks, and went to Mathew's site after checking on precious Alexandria this evening. I read all I could about your son, his life, your family and all the heart felt messages sent to him and you all. You seem to be such a nice family, and I am sorry for your loss. My wife lost her brother John to osteo sarcoma on July 27, 1995. He was ready to turn 21. He and I became good friends while his sister and I dated, got engaged and married. He always used to call me a dork. I knew him 3 and a half years. I know he and Mathew have hooked-up and become friends in heaven. I can't know your pain, but I've witnessed it pretty closely with my wife and her family...my thoughts and prayers. One thing I can proclaim, John's two nieces, Ellery and Arden, and nephew, John, confirm the circle of life -- As uncle John comes to his family in our children, Matt will too some day in his siblings'.
I pray the Hallemeiers have a wonderful life, and I will always remember Mathew. I know you all loved him so and miss him dearly.

Peter Day
Peter Day <pday@lmana.com>
Fishers, IN - Monday, January 13, 2003 at 10:21 PM (CST)

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I will never forget Matthew, or your family. I 1st read about you all soon after we were told our six year old daughter, had ALL. I prayed and still do for your family. Our child is doing very well. and I thank god. Matthew touched so many hearts. He surly must still be doing so. god bless Michele. in Canada.
MICHELE
- Sunday, January 12, 2003 at 01:27 PM (CST)

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I just stopped by and read your son's story and I am so touched. My heart goes out to you. Our 3 year old daughter has Leukemia AML, diagnosed April 2002. The day your son passed I remember where I was that day and I just thought back to it. We were in the hospital and Katia was very sick with a bad infection. I remember the 22nd because we had to have so many different things done that day. Now I look back and say, "I didn't imagine someone was going through the loss of a child when I was concerned about having to be in the hospital extra days." It makes things really go into perspective. I remember talking to a parent who's son was diagnosed with Leukemia AML on September 10, 2001. They had no clue about the September 11th attacks until about 4 days after it happened because they were just so much in shock. Thank you for sharing Matt's story. May God grant you peace of mind and many blessings. Thank you for the poetry on your page, it is beautiful. Love, Tracy Solomon
Katia's site
Tracy Solomon
Tampa, FL - Saturday, January 11, 2003 at 02:04 PM (CST)

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I pray that God blesses you with comfort and strength for the year of 2003. I think of the family all the time. When thinking, I'm praying for you. God Bless you, Dirk and Family
Anita Moore www.caringbridge.org/mo/hollyemoore
Sikeston, MO - Saturday, January 11, 2003 at 11:12 AM (CST)

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Thinking of you tonight. Thanks for the update. Your Christmas sounded bearable - at least you got through it. We are back and reality has hit us hard. 2003 - a year without either of our boys. Blessings,
Noelle, Mom to Matt, www.caringbridge.org/ma/mattconover <nconover@sgi.net>
pittsburgh, pa usa - Tuesday, January 07, 2003 at 08:54 PM (CST)

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Debbie,
Still thinking about you and your family. I wish there was something I could do to have made all of this not happen. It isn't fair, but know that so many of us are thinking about you and still thinking about Matthew.


Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Monday, January 06, 2003 at 04:32 PM (CST)

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Debbie - the poem was beautiful..thank you for sharing it with us. I have thought of your family during the holidays, and pray that God blesses you in this new year with health, happiness and comfort.
Lisa Agee (www.caringbridge.com/page/ross) <lagee67@hotmail.com>
Camden, AL - Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 02:27 PM (CST)

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I guess Heaven needs people of all ages there so some leave us before they grow up and this makes it all so much more devastating and painful. Words can not help with the emotions you have regarding the events of 2002, but prayers are being said that you be given peace and happy time in 2003.
Ivy www.caringbridge.org/wa/cameronboyd
ivy <poisenivj@aol.com>
lynnwood, wa usa - Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 10:45 AM (CST)

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Debbie and Dirk - I continue to pray for Matthew in heaven and for God to comfort you in your grief. I hope 2003 brings you better times, especially on your Australian trip - because you must deserve it more than anyone.
Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 02:35 AM (CST)

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We are friends of the Haddocks and have a little girl who is still going through treatment for ALL. Even though we don't know you personally, it hurts us when precious children leave us before they even have a chance to grow up. A wonderul, happy and charming 6 year-old boy passed away while our daughter was in the hospital. He was a fellow patient of our Kailie (she is now 11) and we were very close to him. Even though he is not our child there is not a single day that passes without our thinking of him and his family. We will pray that God will comfort you as you go through this holiday season without your son. We went up to Children's last night to see Alexandria and she went home!! Kailie had made her some cookies, cinnamon rolls, pictures and got her a balloon. We are hoping to give them to her tonight. If only we could have one more day, one more time to tell someone how much we love them. Unfortunately even then it wouldn't be enough. May Jesus bless you this upcoming year.
Our daughter's site is: http://www.caringbridge.com/page/kares4kailie
John & Johnelle Rhines <jnjrhines@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 12:27 PM (CST)

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With all the people who come here to post, whose lives you have all touched,
I wish there was something we could all do for you so your lives wouldnt feel so empty.
I wish you peace in the new year, what else can I say.....
chris
Gooch's Site

- Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 11:16 AM (CST)

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Deb and Derk:
You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers during this holoday season. Thank you for sharing the lovely poem. Please take it to heart hopefully it will be of some small comfort.
Marva <toomarvelous4wrd@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 06:12 AM (CST)

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Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)
written by: Radney Foster

Dragon tales and the Water is Wide
Pirates sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed little man
Sweet Dreams little man
Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon we'll find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed little man
Sweet Dreams little man
Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)

God bless Mommy and matchbox cars
God bless Dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "amen" wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed little man
Sweet Dreams little man
Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed Godspeed
Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)

thinking of you
- Monday, December 30, 2002 at 09:17 PM (CST)

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What can I say. I was routed here via FLF. Too young to leave. Just a boy.
Mark Palmer <mark@NOSPAMsaltirecoast.co.uk>
Edinburgh, Scotland - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 10:34 AM (CST)

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I know it's a tad late but merry christmas to you all. I just installed FLF and i saw that the game had been dedicated to Matt, so i followed the links around. Even though i never knew him, i really felt for him and his struggle for life. I'm not huge on religion to be honest, but I'm sure Matt is in a better place. The pain is over.
I love the poem aswell. It makes me feel better about someone i lost early this year. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year :)
Ben (AKA Par0dy) <Hackysack007@hotmail.com>
WA Australia - Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 12:30 AM (CST)

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Happy Anniversary Dirk and Debbie!
27 years......God Bless you both. I so admire the strength of your family and the love you have for one another. I hope your special day is filled with peace and love. Deb, thank you for putting the Christmas photos up on the photo album. I love seeing pictures of Matthew. They do bring tears to my eyes but I am reminded of his courage and spirit when I see his beautiful face. My heart is with you throughout the holidays and always.
Have a WONDERFUL trip to Australia and New Zealand! Bill and I visited both of those countries on our honeymoon 15 yrs. ago and we still treasure the memories. I hope your spirits will be renewed afterwards.
Sending lots of love ~
Stacey and family
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:15 PM (CST)

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Merry Cristmas Mathew... beautiful poem, I am sending a copy to my friends who lost their little girl this year.
Dan <dkettman@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 08:15 PM (CST)

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ZOF, I miss you. Why didn't you ever tell anyone that your sister was a HOTTIE !!

/me requests more pictures of Julie!!
GG
- Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 12:12 PM (CST)

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Merry Christmas Hallemeiers. Your talking about seeing the angel tree was very touching. But the poem you have left on the website is the best ever. I hope it inspires you to know that Matthew is in the best place ever. He's just waiting until he can see you all again. Love and prayers with you during this holiday season.
Sheryl Clubb
Eureka, MO USA - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 10:55 AM (CST)

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GG ZOF

You'll always be here with me.
a gamer
- Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 09:19 PM (CST)

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Thinking of you with prayers and good wishes this Christmas Season. Matthew is still in my thoughts so often, even though I'd never met him. Bless you all this Christmas, especially Matt.
ginapeters
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 07:32 PM (CST)

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Hi there I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family daily. I hope that you have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful vacation. Take care & God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 11:50 PM (CST)

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Debbie,
I have visited Matthew's website many times, but have never signed the guestbook. I met your family through MaryBeth Ricken's website and now visit both sites regularly. I lost a sister to cancer 11 years ago and my mother just last year. It makes my heart ache to hear of the suffering of others from this merciless disease. Matt was such a trooper...and the strength of him and his family is honorable and admirable. I know the holidays will be rough, but remember...Matt is having a glorious time in heaven! God Bless, Deb



Deb Nowicki
Lenexa, KS USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 04:55 PM (CST)

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In winters deepest most peaceful nights you will hear what seems to be music on the wind, singing in the snow, melodies in the starlight. These are the voices of Angels.
Thinking of you...
- Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 05:57 PM (CST)

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Deb, I just wanted to drop by and see how things were going. I do so love that poem. Someone sent it to me after my cousin died, and it stills comforts me. May you and your family be blessed this Christams and may the memories not be too painful. Sending many hugs and prayers your way.
P.S. I personally feel December anniversaries are extra special. We will be celbrating our 19th a few days after your anniversary.
Margie
Ft. Lewis, WA USA - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 03:23 AM (CST)

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Big wishes for a very Merry Christmas for your family - I pray that you all know the joy and love of the true reason for the season -- Jesus. Don't worry about those Christmas cards, your friends and loved ones know that this holiday will be different for you and they will understand.
Jo <jvon557@aol.com>
Crestview, FL - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 02:11 AM (CST)

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I do check in regularly and always pray for your family's continued strength during this hard time. What a nice poem. I'm glad that you forced yourself to decorate for the holidays. If you hadn't, you might never had been able to do it. I'm sure Matthew would have wanted you to have a beautiful tree. From all your writings, I can tell, that Matthew was one beautiful, bright, young man. The world is definitely at a loss from his passing. I pray for a wonderful, peaceful Christmas for you with your family.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
SLCLUBB@aol.com, MO USA - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 07:59 PM (CST)

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Wishing you and your family peace through the holidays Debbie
chris
Gooch's Site

- Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 11:13 AM (CST)

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Hello. I just wanted to let you know that I still visit the website regularly. Wanted to wish you all a merry Christmas. I still think about Matthew all the time! I know that he's doing great. Happy holidays!
Shannon
Vancouver, - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 12:53 AM (CST)

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I have followed your page for some time...my heart broke as you went through the loss of your precious son. I have signed in your book before, and have always been amazed at your strength and courage...I have not signed on in some time. My Robert was right in the middle of his transplant and such when your Matt left you...Robert is gone from us now, and I never imagined as I ached and cried for your loss that I too would be facing Christmas and life without my son...thank you for your continued courage, and ability to live. May God give you peace and love to get you through...Fondly, Kathy Charlton


Kathy Charlton www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel
- Friday, December 20, 2002 at 11:00 PM (CST)

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Hi,
I was just surfing the web and came across your site. I pray that the precious memories of Matthew will comfort you during this difficult holiday season. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. p.s. - the trip to Australia & New Zealand sounds wonderful!
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 01:45 PM (CST)

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Debbie,
Thank you so much for updating. I come here everyday to see if by chance you have written. I pray for your family everyday and know that Matthew is helping you to get through each task. I am so glad your family will be with you for the holidays. I hope that God will comfort you during the hard times and you will feel His arms wrapped around you. You and Dirk share your anniversary date with my own parents, except they will be celebrating their 43rd anniversary. Your trip sounds like it will be wonderful and very much deserved. Please know that there are so many of us out here that you have never met, but we continue to feel blessed that you chose to share your wonderful son with us. I have been so enriched by your family. May God hold all of you in the palm of His hand this season, and know that I will be thinking and praying for all of you. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 11:24 AM (CST)

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The holidays are such a difficult time when you've lost someone you love - so I'm sending all of you an extra dose of prayers this time of year. Enjoy your family time, and remember that Matthew is right there with you!
Justine Germaine
Madison, WI - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 09:16 AM (CST)

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Dear Debbie - I will pray even more for you, Dirk and your family over Christmas - and especially for dear Matthew. May the light of Jesus shine brightly on you.
Love, Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire (James Herriot country) , England - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 05:08 AM (CST)

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Dear Debbie, congrats on getting those xmas decorations up despite your spirits. After all it only comes once a year! Your trip/vacation is much deserved, I hope you will send us a postcard or two. We still miss Matthew...and I think about him often and wonder when the hurt will go away. We will keep praying for your family. Love, Shannon and Ervin.
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield , MO USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 04:35 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie. Thinking of you. Once again, your thoughts and feelings are so close to mine. This has been a horrible week for me - I miss Matt so much. I too, get pleasure in shopping and have spent far too much on the kids. We leave for Mexico on Monday. My best wishes to you and yours - glad you have them with you at home.
Noelle Conover <nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Thursday, December 19, 2002 at 09:38 PM (CST)

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Dear Debbie-

I think about you and your family so much and continue to send lots of love your way.
Annie Thomas <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 10:01 PM (CST)

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Debbie ~
The poetry in your last journal entry is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and feelings with us. Matthew's headstone is grand. How wonderful that you and Dirk are on either side of him. As Christmas approaches, my heart is filled with hope for all the families who have lost their precious children, that there may be moments of peace and joy, even if they are fleeting. I pray that you and Dirk will somehow celebrate this first holiday season without Matthew with peace and love in your hearts. Matthew is remembered in our hearts for always, and especially during the holidays.
Sending lots of love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 07:48 PM (CST)

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Debbie, Dirk & family: We wish you God's comforting hands, His love & His blessings during this Christmas Season. Our prayers still include you & your family. May you be comforted by the Holy Christ Child whose birth we celebrate. Our love to you. Bill & Phyllis Criss
Phyllis Criss <wlpjcriss@worldnet.att.net>
St Charles, Mo USA - Saturday, December 14, 2002 at 10:20 AM (CST)

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MUCH COURAGE FOR THE DAYS AHEAD AND MANY BLESSINGS.
DANETTE


Danette Prater www.caringbridge.com/tx/jacobprater <jakesmom@wt.net>
Santa Fe , tx - Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 06:17 PM (CST)

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Hello, I saw your sons STAR on the Heavenlylights memorial web page. I wanted to let you know that I too share in the loss of my son as you do yours. Please take care and try to have a happy holiday season.

~God Bless~
www.caringbridge.com/canada/dusinbmt/
Judy (Mom of Angel-Dustin)
Chatham, ON Canada - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 06:44 AM (CST)

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Still thinking about you and wishing you peace in this holiday season. Matthew is very much a part of all of us and will be remembered this Christmas and always.


Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 04:21 PM (CST)

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Dear Debbie and Family, This is a season of joy, the reminder of His greatest gift, and a time of family. Your family cannot all be together this year, Matthew will celebrate the birthday of Jesus WITH JESUS, what a wondrous joy for him, and a time of mixed blessing for all of you. I know you rejoice that he is with his Lord and no longer in pain, and I know how much your hearts ache that he is no longer physically with you. Take comfort in the words of the poem you shared and the knowledge that someday you will again be ALL TOGETHER, in God's precious garden.

Like Matthew, his candle must be very special, because when I went to order one I found they were sold out! Matthew continues to give, this time through the sale of HIS candle that will help continue the search to help other cancer children. Matthew lives on in so very many ways!! I hope that brings you some degree of comfort.

Your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers, especially as we approach Christmas,

Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA USA - Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 12:17 AM (CST)

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Debbie,

Thanks for continuing to share your family with us. Matthew's resting place is beautiful. Still hard to believe I'm sure. The pain and sorrow never goes away; however his sickness will fade and you will have memories of the healthy Matthew. The healing process takes time and you just need to take the time that YOU need and experience it all. It hasn't been easy as a sibling, I can't imagine as a parent. My thoughts continue to be with you and your family as the holidays approach. Let Matthew's memories surround you with comfort and love.

My best to you all,
Vicki Hoffman
www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 12:31 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie - I was thinking of you and Matthew a lot these past few days and just wanted to check in and say Hi.
Diane (Mitchell's mom) <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 05:10 PM (CST)

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I will never forget Matt "Zofran" Hallemeier. he lives in our minds 4ever.
friend from Front line force (FLF)community.
- Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 08:22 AM (CST)

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Debbie,

The tombstone looks very nice. What a pretty setting it all looks. I'm glad your family had a nice gathering for the holiday and that you could all be together. I'm sure Matthew would have wanted it that way. Your family continues to be in my prayers with each passing day. May God Bless you and your struggle with Matthew's loss during the holiday season.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:34 PM (CST)

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Debbie,
The stone is beautiful. We still check the site frequently. I guess old habits are hard to break... I'm glad to hear you had a good Thanksgiving x 2. We think of all of you often and are keeping you in our prayers. Lots of Love.
Michelle and Chris Hallemeier
Michelle Hallemeier <mmathews74@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 09:03 AM (CST)

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Dear Debbie and family,
The headstone is lovely. It is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful young man. Debbie, I thought and prayed for you as we faced our "first" holiday without our sons. They are free from pain and suffering which is how I have to think about it, but we miss them so much. I loved reading about your reunion with your family. Your words "light up" as you describe them. I know how hard it must be for you when they are away from you. Know that I think of you each day.
Noelle Conover <nconover@sgi.net>
Mt. Lebanon, PA USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 08:12 AM (CST)

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I too still game with Matt in my heart. And I too check up on this site every other day or so. I hope your family enjoys the time they get to share this holiday season, as that is the way Matt would want it I'm sure. gg Matt.
Dan <dkettman@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, Mo 63301 - Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 11:54 PM (CST)

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DEAR DEBBIE AND FAMILY
JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS FOR KEEPING MATTHEWS PAGE GOING. I know it is going to be a different Christmas for you guys this year. But, like your poem says, maybe you will feel his spirit amongst you as you travel this new road laid before you. This Christmas will not be the same without Matthew, but it only comes once a year and if you remember what we are to celebrate Christmas for, maybe God will shed his grace upon thee. I pray for God to ease your pain.
Love always, Shannon
Shannon Fackler
Winfeild, Mo USA - Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 09:24 PM (CST)

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We really do check your website! It's so melancholy, without Matthew, but so important. He is not forgotten.
Ansley
Atlanta, GA US - Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 06:11 PM (CST)

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Keeping you in my toughts during this tough holiday season... love, laura
www.caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 02:45 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie ~
I'm thinking of you tonight and praying that your Thanksgiving was a peaceful and loving time for your family. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult your days without Matthew are. But I am keeping you and Dirk in my prayers and wishing you well always. Matthew's tree is beautiful! And your book sounds like a loving tribute to your son ~ I know how much Matthew's life and your words have already touched so many people.
Thinking of you always ~
Love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 11:47 PM (CST)

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Still gaming in your memory.
Good Game
- Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 06:05 PM (CST)

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Debbie,
Just a quick note to let you know that I still come here each day to see if there is an update. I pray for you all each day that God will provide you with enough strength to get through the upcoming holidays. Please remember Matt is with you each step of the way. I wish I could take away your pain, you are such a wonderful family. God bless each of you. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 02:21 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie,

Thinking of you and your family as we approach the Thanksgiving holiday. My thoughts are with you as I know these "firsts" are very difficult, in fact they all are extremely hard without our loved ones.

You book sounds wonderful and I'm sure it is very healing for you. I felt the same way about my brother's death, I wanted to be sure to capture everything about his battle, including my journal, a copy of his entire website, and a special memorial album that I put together. It was hard to do, but yet very comforting to me and self-healing.

My best to you and your family over the holidays. You are in my thoughts.

Hugs,
Vicki Hoffman <www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike>
Anaheim, CA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 11:00 AM (CST)

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Debbie~

Just a brief note to let you know that my thoughts for comfort will be with you during the holidays.
Teri Xavier
Nashville, TN - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 10:12 AM (CST)

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Debbie, I can only imagine how hard the approaching holidays will be for you.
A lot of us are thinking of you, and hope you feel Matt's presence to help you get through it.
chris
Gooch's Site

- Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 08:39 AM (CST)

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Dear Debbie,
This is Linda Bram's mom. Reading your update brought tears to me eyes. I know you are in so much pain and I wish I could help. I found a book called Hannah's Gift. It is about a little girl who died of cancer written by her mom. It is so very beautiful in spite of its sadness. I miss you Debbie. E-mail me any time.
Love,Linda
Linda Lewis <annhope2000@yahoo.com>
Grass Valley, Ca. U.S. - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 07:22 PM (CST)

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Hallemeier Family,
I haven't checked the website in a while and I was pleased to see it still going. I pray for God to continue to give you all strength. I think Matthew's tree is great!
Love, Steph
Stephanie Watson <stephanie.watson@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 08:22 PM (CST)

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Debbie and Dirk,

Just wanted to say hello and that you are all still in my thoughts and prayers and Matthew is in my heart. When I first started reading Matthew's pages (a friend with an ALL survivor child told me about it) I never knew it might be to help prepare me for leukemia in my own family! My cousin has been diagnosed and is currently undergoing treatments and awaiting a bone marrow transplant. Matthew's courage and all your words, Debbie, will I hope help me help him! THANK YOU for that!!!

Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 01:35 PM (CST)

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Hello Debbie & Dirk,
The tree looks beautiful! The book sounds like a fantastic idea too, Debbie!
My heart & thoughts are with you always.
Take care
Love & Cuddles,
Liz & her precious gang XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 07:46 AM (CST)

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Dear Debbie-
As I sit here at my computer and read the words from your journal entry, I cannot tell you how my heart aches for you. The pain that must be ever-present in you is too much for me to contemplate. I know that Matthew is so happy in heaven but that does not heal the broken hearts here on earth. You are so strong and I am so proud of you. You have been through so much and yet you are so determined to keep going. You are an inspiration to all of us. I know this is not by your choice, but God's choice. I think about you all the time and know the pain must be unbearable. Anytime you feel lonely or sad, you know you can always call me. I am always here for you.
love and hugs-
Alison Haddock
Alison Haddock, mom to Alexandria <AGHaddock@msn.com>
O Fallon, MO USA - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 12:45 AM (CST)

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I never knew Matt. But I know someone who recently passed away as well. Also I do know how much of a great friendship can be found online. My heart is with you. I am, with everyone one else, deeply moved. Perhaps someday I can play you in FLF when I venture past the golden gates.
Brian Lewis
- Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 12:44 AM (CST)

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i dont know what to say, im just moved
good luck
Zak
- Friday, November 15, 2002 at 02:23 PM (CST)

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I check on you often and am glad to see the update. I know the holidays will be hard for you and I will continue to keep you close in thought and prayer as you go through these difficult times. You are cared for and loved even by people like me who have never personally met you. Blessings to you!
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT aplastic anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:43 AM (CST)

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Matthew's tree is just beautiful! Praying for you and your family as the holidays approach ...
Justine Germaine <jfgermaine@hotmail.com>
Madison, WI - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 08:41 AM (CST)

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Thinking of you this morning and wanted to say Hi. I know you will always miss Matthew, but I pray the pain of losing him diminishes with time. He will always be in your thoughts and in your heart.
Jo <jvon557@aol.com>
Crestview, FL - Saturday, November 09, 2002 at 07:16 AM (CST)

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Just wanted you to know as I write, I am sending prayers your way. I realized that we are reaching the holidays, and I know that missing Matthew will be tough. Please know that people care, and we are wishing your family for a pleasant holiday season with special, wonderful memories of Matthew to hold dear in your hearts.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Saturday, November 09, 2002 at 12:09 AM (CST)

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Debbie,
I just wanted you to know that I still come here every day to check and see how you and your family are doing. I pray for all of you and hope that you are surviving ok. I miss Matthew and I never even met him, so I can't imagine how you feel, but please know that I care and I will continue to ask God to watch over you all. God's blessings! With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 02:06 PM (CST)

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hey there... just thinking about yall and wanted to send a little prayer your way. God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 08:21 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie and Dirk- I wanted to say hi and let you know I was thinking of Matthew last night. What a wonderful idea your co-workers had about the tree! What a beautiful sight that is and will be for a long time to come.
Diane Mathis (Mitchell's mom) www.caringbridge.com/page/mitchellmathis <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 08:16 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie. I'm just signing in to let you know that you and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I also wanted to ask if you may be willing tosubmit an article for a newsletter that my non-profit puts out to raise awareness of the issues affecting families with children on hospice care. I COMPLETELY understand if you are not up to doing this just yet. I know your grief is very deep and will be for a long, long while. I just felt led to ask you because I know people will be inspired by your wonderful Christian testimony. You can find details here. If you aren't up to it, I may ask if I could use some things from your updates to encourage others and raise awareness. Please just take your time to think about it and let me know or pass the info along to others who have testimonies about their battles they'd like to share. Blessings to you and I will continue to check in on you and pray for you.
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT aplastic anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 12:36 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie, I just wanted to say that I was thinking of you and your family so I decided to stop at your website. I continue to pray for that peace that passes all understanding. These thoughts and prayers will be with you now and throughout the upcoming holiday season.
Margie (mom to Karissa) <gscrazy@juno.com>
WA USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 10:37 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbi,
Just wanted to send a loving thought your direction.

Gelene <gml2222@swbell.net>
St. Louis, mo - Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 09:28 AM (CST)

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Dear Debbie,
Your latest entry on Matthew's site makes my heart ache for you. I want you to know I think about you so much and wish I could be there to help in some way. Please feel free to e-mail me any time. Love,Linda
Linda Lewis(Bram's mom) <annhope2000@yahoo.com>
Grass Valley, Ca. U.S. - Monday, October 28, 2002 at 11:50 AM (CST)

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You and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers. The tree sounds very beautiful, and I am glad your co-workers were thinking about you. Although most of us 'cyberspace' people never met Matthew, his impact on our lives was profound and we think of him often.
Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Friday, October 25, 2002 at 01:47 PM (CDT)

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Debbie - was thinking about you today and popped in to see if you had made an update. Wish there was something I could say to make things easier for you, but I know that only God can ease that kind of pain. Hang in there. I can't say it will get easier; I have never been there. I do know that there are alot of people though that care and I am pretty sure - based on what I have read about Matthew - that he would not want you to remain sad. He was a happy kid and he loved his family. What a blessing that is!!
Jo <jvon557@aol.com>
Crestview, FL - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 09:35 PM (CDT)

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Still checking in all the time. Sending my love and prayers.
Shannon
Vancouver, BC - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 05:37 PM (CDT)

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to the family and mat(R.I.P bud)

If dreams wernt dreams
and dreams came true
he wouldnt b there he'd be next to u
distance is one thing that keeps u apart
but he will always be there in
your heart
WE LOVE U

and

if kisses were water we'd give u an ocean,
if hugz were leaves we'd give u a tree,
if life was love we'd give u eternaty.
i hope ur coping well family
Bagpu55=flf
- Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 02:28 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie-

I continue to send lots of love and healing thoughts to you and your family. The red maple sounds beautiful.
Annie Thomas <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 01:33 PM (CDT)

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Your red maple tree sounds just beautiful - what a wonderful rememberance of Matthew. Sending lots of prayers and positive thoughts your way.
Justine Germaine <jfgermaine@hotmail.com>
Madison, WI USA - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 09:39 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and Family~
It has been awhile since I have signed the guest book...like so many others, I continue to check Matt's site on a regular basis. My thoughts for peace are with you.

Also, what thoughtful coworkers-I'm sure that tree will serve as a great symbol of Matt's strength.
Teri Xavier
Nashville, TN - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 09:24 AM (CDT)

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hello im a player of FRONT LINE FORCE and pritty new
i never mat but have read and herd enuff to no he was a very brave man iv scanned the guest book for the link but cant find it
just to let u no how many ppl ur beloved touched heres the link
http://www.frontlineforce.com/forum/showthread.php?s=df85c49b29c8617db8e0a4e4bbf3ff9f&threadid=8190
and this one to
http://www.frontlineforce.com/forum/showthread.php?s=1d416975b1e3bea7c412ec22921de793&threadid=8532
____________________
no-one goes there here in r hearts
the flf force comunity salutes u MAT
ian"Agent X "st john <Sar19s@hotmail.com>
northampton, U.K - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 04:03 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I have been looking to see if you updated, and hope you are doing okay.
chris
Gooch's Site

- Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 05:39 AM (CDT)

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I think it is so good that you keep up the site... it is "therapy" in a strange way... your son would want you to be happy- I know it must be so hard to go on... your whole family is in my prayers. Love, Laura
www.caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 09:53 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Dirk, I remembered that it's the third month anniversary of Matthew's passing. I always stop by your site and see how you're doing and how you are getting along. It is still such a very recent tragedy.
With loving thoughts,
Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire (James Herriot country), UK - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 03:42 PM (CDT)

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i heard what had happened through a friend, and had to write to tell you how sorry my family and i were to here of your tradgedy, Mrs. Hallemeier i remember how much help you were to me and my mom when my grandmother passed and wish we could help in some way with you and your family now. Congrats to Julie on her wedding, and im so sorry, you are all in our thoughts and prayers....Jason Duncan
Jason duncan <ytjuy@hotmail.com>
bridgeton, mo - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 02:18 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, I think of you and your family often and hope that you are finding your way through your grief. I think it's great that you are recording your memories of Matthew. When Nettie was a baby I started a book for my children of stories I wanted to share with them - funny family stories, things the kids have said that made me laugh, what the world was like when their dad and I were kids, etc. Always in the back of my mind is that they will have this if anything ever happens to me. I guess also that I will have this if anything happens to them. It's priceless to me and when we moved I hand-carried it so as not to risk losing it. I pray that some day you can read your journal without the degree of pain you're feeling now and can really laugh and smile at your memories of him. I know your daughter was recently married so maybe grandchildren will be coming along who will want to know all about Uncle Matt.
Janet Guild (Nettie's mom ALL-KIDS) <waycoolstuff@coastalnow.net>
Ft. Stewart, GA - Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 06:04 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie...just checking in again to say hi. Sigh. What a "process" this is. It is impossible to make sense of it, but it just goes on. I am still praying for you and your family. Praying always for peace. God bless.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Wednesday, October 16, 2002 at 11:08 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie- Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and Matt today and wanted to just drop a note to say hi. Matt touched so many lives, Debbie.
Diane Mathis (Mitchell's mom) ALL-KIDS <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 09:04 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Dirk. Thank you Debbie for continuing to post on Matthew's site! You mentioned earlier this month you were going to Orlando for a family wedding in Nov and it so happens I am in Orlando right now so have been thinking of you. Our son-in-law just returned from Kuwait and they drove down here for a vacation and invited us (they live in GA about 2 hours from Julie). You may remember we spent 5 weeks in GA this summer with our daughter and the girls and then drove through O'Fallon on our way back to CA. You all remain in my thoughts and prayers ... funny how you can feel so close to people you've never actually met, but God has blessed me with many friends through "cyber world" and enriched my life through many people, Matthew and your family being some of those people.
Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA USA - Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 09:42 AM (CDT)

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Hi there! I found your page from Gooch! You sure have a good looking family! My son is five and going blind. I will keep your family in my prayers. Laura
www.caringbridge.org/ca/coltonmeyer
- Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 03:43 PM (CDT)

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Just a note to let you know we all pray for your family daily. I have been checking the website regularly, thanks for the updates.
The Donato Family
Dardenne Praire, Mo. - Friday, October 11, 2002 at 09:34 PM (CDT)

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Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers daily. I followed Matthew's journey through your entries and I am still drawn to your site to check on you and your family. Through your entries I feel like I know you, so the tears flow and my heart aches for your suffering that you are enduring. I admire your strength-when my son was sick I said I didn't think I could go on living if he passed on-I look to you as an example of strength and admiration. Hang in there-I know how everything is reminding you of Matthew and the bittersweet pain it brings. Lots and lots of people are praying for you!
Karen
Mpls, Mn USA - Thursday, October 10, 2002 at 08:45 PM (CDT)

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hi debbie. i just wanted to let you know i stopped by. you are still very much in my thoughts and prayers. i'm praying that the Lord continue to bring comfort to you and your family in a way that only He can. hugs and blessings!
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT aplastic anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Thursday, October 10, 2002 at 06:45 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, hope you dont mind me adding a ribbon in memory of Matthew for the Childhood Cancer Awareness tree in Washington.
chris
Gooch's Site

- Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 07:13 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie, Just checking in on you again. I pray for you so often and am always looking to see a post from you. Rosie is doing well at 6 months OT and is enjoying kindergarten very much. As for me...well, I am praying alot. Trying to breathe and relax. Not easy for me. I am always asking God to bring us peace. I pray that especially for you Debbie. God bless.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Monday, October 07, 2002 at 04:18 PM (CDT)

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Hi,
Just checking in on you and wishing you the best. I know it is so hard getting through the days, but remember there are a lot of people out here thinking about you and thinking about how Matthew touched their lives.
Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Monday, October 07, 2002 at 03:15 PM (CDT)

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hi debbie. i just wanted you to know that you are still very much in my thoughts and prayers. i'll continue to check back for updates. God bless!
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT aplastic anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, October 07, 2002 at 11:35 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie ~
As you may have read on ALL KIDS, Chad's Oncologist passed away on Tuesday. He was only 55. He was a wonderful man who dedicated his life to helping children with cancer. He just loved all children! Our family is devastated. While he was here on earth, he was always laughing, smiling, and joking with the kids. I imagine he is up in heaven now with Matthew and our other precious angels, chasing them with a big water gun (he loved to squirt everyone)and planning practical jokes for when the rest of us join them. I know Matthew will love him.
I am so glad you went to Kim's and celebrated your mom's birthday with your family. It sounds so beautiful and I can imagine how much you wished Matthew could have been there on that day too. I continue to pray for you and Dirk every night. I appreciate that you are still writing to us and sharing your family with us too. You are wonderful.
Sending lots of love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 10:53 AM (CDT)

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You and Matthew have touched people all over the country and from so many different walks of life. Your simple courage and your honesty have sometimes broken my heart. I think of you and your family often.
Vicky <transley@bellsouth.net>
Atlanta, GA US - Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 08:17 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie,
I think of Matthew and your family often. You will always be in my prayers. God Bless.
Laura L. (from the ALL-KIDS list-serv)
Bonita Springs, FL - Friday, October 04, 2002 at 12:20 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie. I think about you and your Matthew everyday. I love to read your site because you have many of the same thoughts and feelings I have about my Matt. We walked in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Light the Night Walk in Pittsburgh this week. My Matt's classmates - 100 of them - walked in his memory and raised over $3000. It was a nice way to honor his memory. Take care and keep on writing.
Noelle Conover <nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Friday, October 04, 2002 at 07:58 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie. Just wanted to stop in and say hi. We are thinking about you and Dirk as you continue to adjust. you are in our prayers.
Julie and Chris Bushre <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 08:34 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,

I have been thinking about your family and praying for you. I still check up on your site all the time. I hope today is a good day. Matthew's love is shining down.

Love from Murray,

Kelli Petermeyer
Kelli Petermeyer
Murray, KY - Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 04:05 PM (CDT)

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Debbie I hope you know if you ever need a shoulder to lean on or someone to vent to, you can contact anyone of us countless people who have been touched by Matthew here.
chris
Gooch's Site

- Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 12:19 AM (CDT)

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Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of your family today, so I stopped by to look at your page. Your family continues to be in our prayers.
Margie, mom to Karissa, dx ALL 1/95 ot 8/25/97 <gscrazy@juno.com>
WA USA - Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 12:48 PM (CDT)

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I havent experienced losing a loved one and I cant imagine how bad it hurts. I was a classmate of Mattew G. Conover who died on July 5. I try to stay on busy but sometimes my mind wonders how Matt is doing in heaven. I know that he is smiling down on us and is watching over us.
I will keep your family im my prayers,
With love,
Megan
Megan Frye <LuckyPSUgrl21@aol.com>
Mt.Lebanon , PA USA - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 03:15 PM (CDT)

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Was thinking of you and your family today, so I stopped in to say so. Hope things are going good for you all.
Jo <jvon557@aol.com>
Crestview, FL - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 06:37 AM (CDT)

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Hi there... I just wanted to let you know that I still pray for yall everyday and check in on Matthew's page often. I hope that your pain will lessen and your memories brighten.
Susan <Tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Sunday, September 29, 2002 at 11:15 PM (CDT)

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Oh Debbie. I check in often to see how you are holding up. And you are always in my prayers. I do not pretend to have an iota of a clue as to how you keep going. But I am so proud of you and I know that Matthew is too. It is still so hard to accept that this is the way God wanted things to be. But accepting it is the only viable option. May the Lord grant you peace.
Am& & Rosie Rumberger <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Saturday, September 28, 2002 at 02:27 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie ~
My dear Aunt, my dad's youngest sister, passed away from pancreatic cancer last night. As I cried and thought of her, I imagined all the beautiful angels in heaven greeting her, embracing and welcoming her there. I see all of our loved ones in heaven, laughing and sharing the best stories of their lives. Someday we will all be together again.
I think of you often and always keep you and Dirk in my prayers. The memories of Matthew that you shared with us are still so strong in our minds. Take care, I hope you are continuing to heal a little bit every day.
Love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, September 28, 2002 at 09:23 AM (CDT)

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I've been reading for a few months so I figured I should sign the guestbook...
Good luck with the future.
ThatOneDude
USA - Friday, September 27, 2002 at 08:58 PM (CDT)

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Debbie:
Just wanted to let you know that you and your family remain in my prayers. I watch my son fight ALL every day and think of all of the guardian angels who watch over him and give him strength, including Matt.
www.caringbridge.org/ga/palmer
William Moise <moisew@bellsouth.net>
Stone Mountain, GA USA - Friday, September 27, 2002 at 01:59 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, As many of the people who sign your guestbook are people that you do not know...my family has been following Matt's story for a very long time...I wanted to tell you that we all think of you and your family alot...my 12yr old daughter faithfully checks in you all and really enjoyed seeing your family photos at Julie's wedding; your family has touched our lives very deeply. Our son is recovering from a BMT(MUD) and your strength encourages and strengthens me so much...Matt does live on in so many people's memory and I cannot begin to imagine the ache in your heart for your precious son...thank you for sharing all of it with us. I pray that as some have written, someday the pain will not be so bad, and the wonderful memories will continue to uplift you...as my Matt asked me the other day, "if I was in heaven could I see you, and how could I talk to you?"(he is 5yrs old)...I told him that I believe in heaven you see everything you want to see, and that I could feel you talking to me by knowing you are in my heart...I know your Matt "talks" to you and I pray you find comfort in knowing he is in heaven and sees all of you...God bless you, Kathy Charlton
Kathy Charlton--Mom to Robert www.caringbridge.org/fl/robertmitchel <ckcharlton@aol.com>
WPB/Memphis, FL/TN US, and it is a beautiful country! - Friday, September 27, 2002 at 12:22 PM (CDT)

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Yes Debbie, we DO all still think of Matthew! And of you, Dirk, Julie and Brand, and Christopher. Matthew will live forever in the hearts of people around the world, his memory WILL continue on as his life has touched so very many people. The "last weeks" memories WILL fade, and suddenly you'll realize that what you remember is his smile, his cheery voice, his laughter. After my Dad died I didn't think I'd EVER get out of that hospital in my memories ..... but I did, and I can still hear his laughter and the way he said my name. Daddy died May 9th, 1990. MATTHEW WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.
Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA USA - Thursday, September 26, 2002 at 09:56 AM (CDT)

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Hi, I just visited your site and I think you did a beautiful memorial to Matthew. I am very sorry for your loss of your beautiful angel . You and your family will always be in my thoughts and in my prayers! I lost my fiancee to pancreatic cancer in 1999 and my Mother 6 months later to cancer-the day after Mother's Day.Although I didn't lose a child I understand the pain and loss you are going through! I would like to invite you to join an Angelic Internet group called Simply Enchanting Angels. We hope to make new and lasting friendships as well as support each other in times of need. I hope to see you there. (((Angel Hugs))) Angel MaryBeth
Our website addy is http://www.seangels.org
Angel MaryBeth
Mi USA - Thursday, September 26, 2002 at 04:05 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie - I often visit here and am glad to see you are still keeping all your cyber-friends updated on how you and Dirk are doing. Prayers for your tragic young bear cub - keep saying it as much as you want, it must be very hard to believe he is no longer with you. I often think of you, and I know that many people who visit this site hold your family in their hearts
Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire (James Herriot country) , England - Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 05:01 AM (CDT)

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Just a reminder to keep breathing. I know you are doing that. I imagine how hard it is to do that. But I am sitting here praying that you are just able to breathe some calm peaceful breaths. God bless you all and know that my prayers continue.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 07:38 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debi,
Just wanted to send you love, and let you know that I'm thinking about you.
All my love,
gelene
Gelene Loretzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
- Monday, September 23, 2002 at 09:16 AM (CDT)

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Just stopping by to check to see if you had updated. Just wondering how you are holding up, and praying for all of you each day. I think of Matt daily and pray for healing for your whole family. So many people have been touched by your family, and we are all still here for you. God's blessings on you all. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Monday, September 23, 2002 at 08:03 AM (CDT)

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Hello,
I stumbled across this web page about a young man and the friends He had and loved. Strange, I am now downloading FLF since reinstalling my OS. Not sure how I even got here. I also play many of the Half Life games on line and find playing, quite exciting.(I am not that young) On-line gamers are a rare breed.
They say time heals all wounds.....I think I will remember some things all my life..........It sounds as though Matt touched a lot of people; how fortunate.
I bid you good-day. May the rest of your life fare well.......With Love......Warren
Warren S
- Monday, September 23, 2002 at 01:47 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and Dirk, I come by Matthew's page often. It is amazing what a blessing your dear son, Matthew, has been to hundreds, guessing thousands, of people around the world. You two have been in my thoughts and prayers so much as I am sure that now that all is "quiet" you must be wondering how to become "normal" without your children around the house all the time .... yes, many of us face that when our adult children leave, but for you Matthew's being called to his Lord made this day come too soon by our standards. My heart reaches out to you as you begin to face all these changes TOGETHER, and I pray our precious Father in Heaven will send His Holy spirit to bring you strength and courage, and to bring the two of you closer than you have ever been. I still remember my little brother's death as if it were yesterday .... Mother and Daddy struggled in so many ways, but in the end were blessed with a stronger love. That is my prayer for the two of you! May God continue to bless you both, Julie and Brad, and Christopher
Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA USA - Sunday, September 22, 2002 at 04:20 PM (CDT)

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Hi, Debbie. I'm glad to see you on the ALL-KIDS list. I think about you all often and wonder how you are doing. The wedding pictures are beautiful (you have such a good-looking family) I'm sure it was a bittersweet day for everyone and know that Matthew was surely there with you all. Congratulations to the newlyweds!
Janet Guild (Nettie's mom) <waycoolstuff@coastalnow.net>
Ft. Stewart, GA - Sunday, September 22, 2002 at 02:26 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie- Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and your family, especially Matt. I wanted to see how the wedding went. The pictures are beautiful! I can only imagine how difficult it would be to go back to work. Take care of yourself.
Diane (Mitchell's mom) ALL-KIDS <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Saturday, September 21, 2002 at 08:28 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie ~
I just wanted you to know that I still think of you often and miss hearing from you on ALL KIDS. We would all love to hear from you if you ever feel up to it. No matter what, we are friends forever. I hope and pray that you are finding moments of joy as you continue to cope with sweet Matthew's passing. I can only imagine how much you must miss his beautiful smile. I will keep you and Dirk in my heart and in my prayers.
With much love and friendship ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, September 20, 2002 at 08:20 PM (CDT)

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Still praying for you and your family. The wedding pictures are gorgeous.
Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 02:46 PM (CDT)

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I am so sorry for your loss. Letting you know that others are praying for you and your family.
You've been touched by a Random Act of Kindness
http://theraokgroup.com
candyjo <whattodo2000@ivillage.com>
- Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 11:54 AM (CDT)

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Hi To All,

Boy what a day for the newlyweds. Sounds like anything that could go wrong did. Glad it all worked out. The wedding I'm sure was beautiful. As you can tell in your pictures. Just wish there were something I could say or do Debi to make the hurt go away. Time heals all is what alot of doctors say but it's still so hard I'm sure. I do think about you both and hope that you know that. I am constantly checking on Alexandria now. Boy have they had a lot lately also. We miss you and hope in time things do get a little better.

Love-N-Christ,

Chris McDowell

Chris McDowell <Christymcd@yahoo.com>
Sidell, IL - Monday, September 16, 2002 at 10:36 AM (CDT)

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I know the loss you feel is very hard. My daughter died of Acute Mylengenous Lekumia Sept.6th,98. Charlene was 18 and a very quiet girl. Never went anywhere and never even talked to anyone. She was very shy.Charlene was diagnosed Jan15th,98. Had a major stroke Aug.7th,98. She was my life. I read the entries of your son and they brought tears to my eyes. I just sat and cried. It is so sad to watch your child suffer.
It is just a shame they can go into space and can't find a cure for children who suffer so much.
May God BE With You Always.
Your entries of Matt showed the sadened you very much. No one knows what parents and children go through with this ugly disease. EXCEPT THE PARENTS AND CHILDREN. It tears everyone in the family up. It almost tore me and my husband apart about 8mo. after the lose of my daughter.
Seems like you have anger and don't under stand why it had to happen and why so much suffering. It just puts a hurt in your heart that never goes away.
Berneice Ross <charsmom79_98@yahoo.com>
Masontown, Pa USA - Monday, September 16, 2002 at 07:51 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, I check your updates often. With the surge of family and friends immediately, and then the distraction of the wedding right after, it must be so hard to get back to daily life and adjust to this new life. In your entries you seem to be adjusting well, I know your heart must be shattered.
Know that many of us here at Cb have sat and cried for you and with you.
chris
Gooch's Site
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Monday, September 16, 2002 at 12:43 AM (CDT)

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Just wanted to write and tell you that I still check your website regularly even though I haven't been signing the guestbook. Your family means a lot to me. Congrats to the new bride and groom. Bye for now !
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 12:17 AM (CDT)

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Congratulations, they look like the perfect couple. I still think of Matt a lot, and I'm sure he was there with you in his own way.
Dan Kettmann <dkettman@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 09:23 PM (CDT)

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Oh the wedding pictures are just beautiful Debbie. Thank you for sharing them. It is such a testament to the strength of your family. I continue to pray for you all as your life's focus transitions to something new. Those hazy times are the hardest in my opinion. God will help you along the way I know. May He bless you and give you peace.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 07:57 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
Thank you for sharing the details of Brad and Julie's wedding day. I'm so glad their special day was "perfect" for them and also that you all got to visit with Matthew too. I love the photos - everyone looks so beautiful and handsome. When I look at the photo of Christopher and Julie, I can see Matthew's face in theirs. I wish he could've been there too. I am keeping you and Dirk in my prayers, and hope that it becomes easier to cope with your "empty nest" as time goes by.
You are never far from my thoughts ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 10:09 PM (CDT)

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Hi Dirk and Debbie ~
Thank you for continuing to let us be a part of your lives. The wedding sounded awesome, and the pictures were beautiful. Our Savior is such a beautuful place to have a wedding. Our pictures turned out amazing, as I am sure Julie and Brad's will. Just wanted to stop in and say hi. We are thinking of you and pray that God continues to bless you and comfort you all.
Julie and Chris Bushre <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 09:11 PM (CDT)

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Debi,
The wedding sounded wonderful. Thanks for sharing.
I think of you often, and send lots of love.
Gelene <gml2222@swbell.net>
St. Louis, mo usa - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 05:50 PM (CDT)

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So glad to hear that the wedding went off so beautifully. You are right Julie was a gorgeous bride and she and Brad make a lovely couple. And what a beautiful way to pay tribute to Matthew. Our heart hurts for you as you adjust to the quiet of the house. You know that you and Dirk remain in our prayers everyday. We love you and are looking forward to your Atlanta/Hilton Head trip. Start planning.
As always remembering you are In His Grip, Sherri and George
sherri spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
bluffton, sc - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 05:50 PM (CDT)

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What beautiful pictures!! I thought of all of you all weekend and wondered how you all were doing. I know Matthew was so proud and was right there among you, helping his sister celebrate such an important day. I pray for all of you each day and come here also, just in case there is an update. Debbie, I'm sure these next few days will be rough for you. There is always that feeling of "let down" after a huge event. All the work you put in, and then it is just "over". On top of that you have been able to give your mind a little less time to think with all that you have been busy doing for the wedding. Now when the pace slows down, I'm sure you will have a hard time. Please know that we are all out here to hold you up. Remember, baby steps. . . Matthew is with you for each one of those steps. Matthew, along with our Heavenly Father, will never leave you or forsake you. Please feel the huge hug that I'm sending you. God bless you all. Please tell Julie and Brad "congrats and you all looked lovely!!" With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 02:45 PM (CDT)

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Congratulations to Julie and the rest of your family.

I have this image of Matt in a tux watching from above and beeming with pride. He always was very proud of his family.

Thanks for filling us in and posting the pictures.

The Noss family
Joan Noss <jnoss@psdr3.org>
Bridgeton, MO - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 02:12 PM (CDT)

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The wedding sounded beautiful and I'm glad you allowed all of us to be part of you. I think of Matthew often and pray that all of you will find peace. Matthew will always be a part of us.
Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 01:31 PM (CDT)

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I am so glad that Julie's wedding went so well :) I really enjoyed seeing the pictures you all looked so nice. I still think of Matthew everyday and and I continue to pray for you, I hope it may bring you some comfort :)
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 01:11 PM (CDT)

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I'm so happy to hear that everything went so well! The pictures were just great! Julie was beautiful! It sounded like it was a wonderful time. I'm so sorry that Matthew wasn't here to be a part of it. I know you miss him very much, and times are hard right now. I will continue to pray for your family to have peace with Matthew's passing. God Bless you all!
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 10:54 AM (CDT)

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Love the photos, Debbie - thanks for posting them so soon for us! I must have been one of the earliest to see them on this site, because our time zones are ahead.

It sounded like a very enjoyable occasion, not too formal but just right. It's so moving how Julie remembered Matthew during the ceremony and after it, putting the rose on his grave. I am sure that somehow he was there at the wedding and is happy for her - but it is so very hard for you. We will keep on praying for you and for Matthew in heaven.
Love,

Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, United Kingdom - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 02:41 AM (CDT)

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Thinking of you all, including your precious Matthew, on this very special day!
Have a wonderful day and best wishes to Julie & Brad for a happy and healthy future together as husband and wife. How exiciting!!!!
Loads of love & cuddles from,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany
XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 09:45 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
What a wonderful, loving, proud mother you are. I hope today was filled with lots of love, sunshine and wonderful memories for your family. I'm sure Matthew was watching from above with a huge smile.
Kelley Fitzgerald, ALL-Kids
Rochester, NY - Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 09:34 PM (CDT)

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Congratulations Julie and Brad..... I hope your day was perfect. We are keeping you all in our prayers...
Love,
The Hall Family
Ron,Tammy,Emma, and Dylan
www.caringbridge.com/page/emmahall
Tammy, Ron, Emma & Dylan Hall <hallrontammy@msn.com>
Medina , Ohio USA - Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 07:39 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie - I hope today was a wonderful day for Julie and Brad and your whole family - especially you! Look forward to hearing how it all went. Please post a photo for us!
Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet. com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 06:15 PM (CDT)

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CONGRATULATIONS TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM !!
Debbie, you are SO thoughtful and loving, it amazes me. I hope everything went just beautifully today. You guys all deserve some happiness.
Chris
Gooch's Site
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 04:30 PM (CDT)

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God bless the marriage of Julie and Brad. We continue to pray for the Hallemeier family. Debbie...you are the proudest mother of the bride ever and with such good reason. Peace be with you.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 10:58 AM (CDT)

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Happy Wedding Day to Julie and Brad!!
My heart, thoughts, and prayers are with your whole family today as you celebrate this special occasion! May your day be filled with love, joy, and many happy thoughts of Matthew.
Sending lots of hugs ~
Stacey and Family
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 10:21 AM (CDT)

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Hello! I pray that the Lord will continue to guide you and give you strength, peace and comfort. Continue to look to him. Have a great wedding with your daughter!

I just wanted to let you know that my son Kearby Turner (3 1/2) has ALL same protocol as Alexandria Haddock. You and Matt's journey has truly touched my life. Please keep the faith - God is good all the time!

In Christ,
Erin Turner
Erin Turner <erinchantel@hotmail.com>
Festus, MO - Thursday, September 05, 2002 at 04:40 PM (CDT)

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I continue to pray for your family daily. May God give you the strength you need to face each day. I also pray that you have a beautiful and wonderful wedding. Good luck to the bride and groom. Remembering you always.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Thursday, September 05, 2002 at 09:55 AM (CDT)

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Debbie:

I like many others have never physically met any of you but feel a real bond. I started following Matthew's story 2 weeks before he earned the much deserved wings. I have continued to check in every couple days to see how the entire family, but especially you are doing. I admire you for your strength. I know each day brings a new challenge. Each day brings a new memory that you did not realize would bring grief. This Saturday will probably be very bitter sweet in a lot of ways. But, just remember that as you share the joy with Julie, Matthew will be present sharing the joy with all of you as well. God bless all of you.
Betty Hepp <bhepp@imca.org>
Englewood, CO - Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 09:29 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, Julie and Christopher,
You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Matthew is still with you in your hearts and will be ever so present on Julie's wedding day.

Debra
- Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 07:03 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie ~
I wish I could do more or say more to comfort you today. I remember when you wrote about Matthew's special hot sauce for the chicken wings on the 4th of July too. I cannot even imagine how painful it must be to miss him so very much. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers, and hoping that Julie and Brad's wedding on Saturday brings you much deserved joy.
Thinking of you ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 01:00 PM (CDT)

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Just stopping as I continue to do each day, and wanted to leave a quick note to let you know you are in my prayers each and every day. I continue to ask God to bless all of you and keep His arms wrapped tightly around each one of you. I pray that Julie's wedding will be a wonderful day for all of you. I know the day will not go by without tears, but I'm praying those will be tears of hope. Julie, I know you will make a beautiful bride, and I can't wait to see the pictures. God bless you all. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 08:35 AM (CDT)

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Thinking of you today and thought I would say Hi. I pray that God would continue to comfort you and love you through this time of loss.
Jo <jvon557@aol.com>
Crestview, FL - Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 07:32 AM (CDT)

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although I came to your site shortly after Matt's passing on to the angels I check each day to see how you and your family are doing, I know so well the heartaches of the holidays and my prayers are with you. Can't wait to see the pic of Julies wedding dress take care
gail
Gail <mum_41@hotmail.com>
Toronto, ON Canada - Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 12:11 PM (CDT)

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Despite leaving the ALLKIDS list recently, I will NOT stop checking your website. I will not stop praying for you all. My prayers this week will be for Julie's perfect wedding day with very little stress or worry. Sigh. You are never far from my thoughts Debbie.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 10:02 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family, our thoughts and prayers contiue to be with you and your family. MAy the wedding give you all a reason to rejoice and be glad.
Margie, mom to Karissa, dx with ALL in remission and off treatmetn for 5 years <gscrazy@juno.com>
Wa USA - Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 08:44 AM (CDT)

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I still stop in and will continue to stop in. I don't know how you feel, but I can pray for you and will definitely continue to do that. I know that the Lord will take care of you in a way that only He can. Blessings to you and your family.
Khalita C Jones <khalita.jones@duke.edu>
Durham, NC - Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 11:54 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie ~
I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight. I am looking forward to seeing Julie and Brad's wedding photo! I know Matthew's spirit will fill the church that day. Do whatever you have to do to cope with the pain of Matthew's passing. Everyone grieves differently and I hope and pray that you are finding ways to be good to yourself.
Sending much love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 12:13 AM (CDT)

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Just wanted to let you know I keep you all in my prayers. It will be 8 years Sept 12 since my sweet son Wester passed away from cancer. Its so hard, but it DOES get easier. It just takes time. I am still here if anyone needs me, angelnstix@msn.com Hugs and God bless, Christy
Christy Grasmick <angelnstix@msn.com>
Kim, CO USA - Saturday, August 31, 2002 at 05:10 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
My heart breaks when I read your website because your words are my thoughts and feelings too. I am very much like you - I cry all the time. My husband comforts me but I worry about how he is grieving. People tell me that as time passes, we will cry less and the memories will comfort us. But right now, all they do is hurt. I think of you every day. I hope Julie's wedding brings you a little bit of happiness. You deserve it.
Noelle Conover, mom to Angel Matt (7/5/02) <nconover@sgi.net (www.caringbridge.org/ma/mattconover)>
pittsburgh, PA usa - Saturday, August 31, 2002 at 08:25 AM (CDT)

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My condolences to family and friends.
Thank you for so many hours of fun and entertainment.

I hope Someday Leuthemia will be beaten forever.

Pedro Lavin <piplavin@hotmail.com>
Santander, Spain - Saturday, August 31, 2002 at 02:22 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Family,
You guys will remain in our thoughts and prayers. It is ok to cry, mom. As a priest said to me a while back; "IT is ok to shed tears." "Tears are a gift from God."
"If we did not shed tears, we would be like ducks, and quack up!" So let them out!

Judy Grumish <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il United States - Saturday, August 31, 2002 at 12:33 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,

I just want you to know, that there is not a day that goes by, where I don't think of Matthew, he is on my mind alot, and so are you. Im keeping you in my prayers.
Love
Laurie(Kaleigh's Mom)
Laurie Koch <Mlkttk@aol.com>
Noblesville, In - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:45 PM (CDT)

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He -at least his lacency- will live on the Net!

(Cancer isnt great, i have seen it up front with my grandparents)...
Snailer
Netherlands - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 06:19 PM (CDT)

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Hey Debbie and Dirk,
My heart goes out to you both. please know that I pray for you often. Matthew was very lucky to have two wonderful parents like you both. Tell Julie I said I wish her all the happiness with her upcoming wedding. I'm sure she will make a beautiful bride.
Hugs and Prayers,

Dawn Gresham (Tommy's Mom ALL-Kids) <bdmtg@hotmail.com >
Warrenville, SC - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 02:31 PM (CDT)

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Hi Dirk and Debbie:
Just wanted you to know that you remain close to our hearts and continue to be at the top of our prayer list. We know that you will get through this time of despair and grief one day at a time and that God will give you the strength to do so. How I wish we could be at the wedding to celebrate this happy moment in the Hallemeier family. I can tell that Julie has given much thought as to how to remember her little bro on this special occasion. You are right, it is perfect in every way. We love you and wish we could somehow take the pain away. As always- Remember you are forever
In His Grip, Sherri and George
Sherri Spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
Bluffton , sc - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 08:08 PM (CDT)

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Hi Dirk and Debbie:
Just wanted you to know that you remain close to our hearts and continue to be at the top of our prayer list. We know that you will get through this time of despair and grief one day at a time and that God will give you the strength to do so. How I wish we could be at the wedding to celebrate this happy moment in the Hallemeier family. I can tell that Julie has given much thought as to how to remember her little bro on this special occasion. You are right, it is perfect in every way. We love you and wish we could somehow take the pain away. As always- Remember you are forever
In His Grip, Sherri and George
Sherri Spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
Bluffton , sc - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 08:07 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Family, I just wanted you to know you are still in my thoughts and prayers and I think of Matthew OFTEN! He continues to touch thousands of hearts around the world, people that never got to meet him in person but who have been touched by his life, me included! Thank you, Debbie, for keeping us updated on his family! On our trip home from Ft. Benning we drove through O'Fallon and I said a prayer for ALL of you, silly, but for a few moments I felt close to you. Christopher, hope you enjoy this year at school. Julie and Brad, God's Blessings on your wedding and your future together. Debbie & Dirk, God will help you find a way - I know the path is hard, I watched my parents walk it after my little brother, Chris, was killed, but walk it they did and through God's grace they grew closer. You will too! GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 02:47 PM (CDT)

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I have been reading matts web page for quite sometime and really didn't know what to say. I lost a son to Sids at 4 1/2 months, 11 years ago. I also have a daughter who has been in remission for 15 months. She had Rabdo (cancer) in her sinus cavity. It was so hard when people who tell me how they felt my pain. No one knows the pain of loosing a child or almost loosing a child unless they have lost one. It is not like loosing your mom or dad. We are not suppose to bury our children they are suppose to bury us. I also had a son who was married last October. He is in the military and was sent to Saudi two days after he got married. We had a special flower at the alter and a moment of silence for our baby and also two military guys that were suppose to be in the wedding but were already sent away. His wife had mixed feelings about it bringing sadness to a happy occasion. It was a sad moment but is was minutes later the priest resumed the happy occaision. So let Matt be a part of your wedding and enjoy the moment and know that no matter what you are going to have a lot of tears that day happy and sad ones. The pain does get better. It has been 11 years for me and I miss him more every year and still never a day goes by without thinking of him. But I think of his happy smile now and wonder what he would look like. For years I would think of him and all those tubes we had keeping him alive for 24 hours, it almost made me wonder what he looked like before that time. So keep fighting, the pain NEVER goes away but it does get easier as time heals. But not for a long long time.
Annie <anniez@1natbanker.com>
Elk River, MN proud to say USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 10:33 AM (CDT)

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Im so sorry for your pain, I do know it, our son Sam has been gone for 4 years Sept Ist. and its always with me. the second year was better and now we fill our hearts with the good times we had and thank god for the 11 years we had with him. and blessed in some strange way I feel as we got to hold him at birth, and at the very end as well, and he knew he was loved. Matt knows how you much you all love him and Im sure he is with you.happy and out of pain, I pray you find comfort and peace and each day eases the distress you feel and will feel for sometime. a day at a time god bless Michele mom to Tessa now 6
Michele Lafantaisie
OTTAWA, CANADA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 12:44 AM (CDT)

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Prayers to you and your family in your time of loss.


Bonnie, grandma to ^i^ Jamie 14.5 forever
http://www.caringbridge.com/page/jamiebowman <rmstephens@worldnet.att.net>
Columbus, Ohio - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 11:18 PM (CDT)

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We think about you all of the time. I love the way that Julie and Brad are honoring Matthew at their wedding. I cried when I read it. Maybe the tears won't come so readily at the wedding. We look forward to sharing what will be the beginning of many many important days in the life that Julie and Brad will share together. We love you!
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 10:11 PM (CDT)

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My cordial condolence.
May god have mercy on Matt's soul.

I'm a programmer from Germany, i didn't know Matt and i've even never played FLF, but i think i have to write something down here:

I know many people with cancer, and i know how hard the fight against this horrible disease is. Matt was a very honorable guy - he fighted till the end. As said, i didn't know him, but i'm deeply concerned.

Rest in peace, Matt.
k3rn3lpanic <REMOVEk3rn3lpanic@planetwolfenstein.com>
Meissen, SA Germany - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 02:50 PM (CDT)

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I never knew Matthew, but I just wanted to say how sad I felt to hear that one so young had passed away due to cancer. I just wanted to send you and the rest of your family my deepest sympathies for his loss. Take Care


Emily
Pasadena, CA Los Angeles - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 12:18 PM (CDT)

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i never knew matthew,
but recently i downloaded FLF mod, im into computers games a lot
i think its great that they would honour your son by dedicating it to him
we all end up in the same place, its only a matter of when
Matt Cree <tenaciouscree@hotmail.com>
Lisburn, NI Northern Ireland - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 08:21 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
I have just spent that last few days reading about Matthew's story. I laughed and cried and cried some more.
(My co-workers probably thought I was loosing it!)
I just wanted to let you know how truly lucky Matthew was to have such a family as you. You are truly beautiful inside and out!
If ever in my life I have to face something like this, I hope I handle it with as much love, caring and bravery as you and your family did and still do.
By the way, I have a Matthew. He is seven years old and I love him more than life. I wanted several children but he was the only one I was blessed with. His full name is William Matthew. He keeps me on my toes.
Anyway, best wishes to you and your family, and God bless Julie and Brad on their special day.


Cindy Crider <ccrider@atctx.com>
Houston, TX USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 09:12 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie ~
We have been out of town and I was unable to check in here with you. Matthew and your family continue in my thoughts and prayers! How courageous of you to take that big step of going back to work and facing the "real world" again. I can't imagine how much you must still miss Matthew. I am praying for the perfect wedding day for Julie and Brad - I love how she is honoring Matthew on that day.
Thank you so much for posting again. I think of you often and will continue to pray for your pain to ease.
Sending lots of love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 12:14 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie
I LOVE what Julie is doing to honour Matthew at her wedding! It is perfect!!
What you said about having 3 children......one in heaven (your precious angel!) and 2 on earth.......sounds perfect too!
Sending love and good thoughts your way, from afar!

Liz & her precious gang, from Down Under!
XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 08:43 AM (CDT)

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Debbie.. When we lost Nicole and I was pregnant with my second child I always had a similar question.. Is this your first? I would just say this..We had a daughter Nicole who is an angel in heaven now. I would continute if they seemed like they wanted to know more. I always. in Nicoles honor mention her someway or another. God Bless you and your strength. Tricia Doyle
Tricia <supportjess@aol.com>
Lake Worth, FL USA - Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 07:21 PM (CDT)

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Debbie that is perfect, on the bulletin like that.
I know the whole work situation is hard. I went back 3 weeks after my mom died (I was barely 20 then) and I went back to keep my mind off it but people kept coming up to me saying how sorry they were, trying to be polite but not being very helpful. Then again, I would have been annoyed if no one mentioned it.. so I guess you cant win. We are all thinking of you and your wonderful family.

Chris
Gooch's Site
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 10:17 AM (CDT)

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"We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul -- not the grim strength of gritting your teeth, but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy!"
Colossians 1:11 (The Message trans.)

"Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. God always keeps His word."
Hebrews 10:23 (The Message)

My aim is to raise hopes by pointing the way to life without end. This is the life God promised long ago -- and He doesn't break promises!"
Titus 1:2 (The Message)

Dearest Hallemeier family, keep this image ever before you: that of a father holding his newborn son for the first time, staring in awe, gazing in wonder, with depth of feelings that cannot be shared in meager, inapt words. Stunned speechless. Please trust and believe that God loves you each just as tenderly and passionately!

Judy Blicharz
McLean, VA USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 09:33 AM (CDT)

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That is perfect - what Julie decided for her wedding, the way she is honoring Matthew.
My heart and prayers go out to all of you, Kathy
Kathy, Mom to Stephanie, Dx 10/31/00 <lkm5@erols.com>
Davidsonville, MD - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:36 PM (CDT)

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My dear Debbie - Since it is exactly one month after Matthew died, you must be thinking about him even more than usual today. I have been reading all your updates and am glad that you have the positive aspect of Julie's wedding, but it must be very hard. These two major but so jarringly dissimilar events so close together must really take it out of you.

I hope that Matthew's picture is on the altar on September 7. Please keep posting and telling us how you and your family are doing. I so often think of you - and wish you lived in Canada. I will be going back to the "old country" for a visit in October, but unfortunately it is nowhere near St Louis.
With my love, kind wishes and prayers,
Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, United Kingdom - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 05:01 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Hallemeier Family
I am sending special requests to heaven on this first month anniversary of Matthew's new birthday. Praise God for His salvation offered freely to all! Praise God that Matthew knew and loved the LORD while walking on this earth! Praise God! Praise God!

Love from your VA friend--
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 08:17 AM (CDT)

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Hello Debbie,
My name is Christine and my son Ryan, age 17 is undergoing chemotherapy for bone marrow relapse of ALL. Ryan was in remission for 9 1/2 years when he had the recurrence in Feb 2001. Although I don't know you, I do want you to know that I feel for you and your loss of your beloved son Matthew. We both know how difficult it is to battle this disease with our children. I am sure that Matthew brought all of the love and compassion that you gave to him in his lifetime with him to heaven. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Sincerely, Christine
Christine Hansen <chansen@bellsouth.net>
Coral Springs, FL USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 05:06 PM (CDT)

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I was thinking and praying for you today. Thank you, so much for updating the site. The wedding sounds like it will be just beautiful. I'll start praying for you and Dirk now for after the wedding is over. God Bless!
Anita Moore
Sikeston, MO - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 04:56 PM (CDT)

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Hello Debbie & Family,
Thank you for continuing to update Matt's web page. Our prayers are still with you and your family. Good Luck in preparing for the upcoming wedding.
Jiten Shah father to Raj (pre-B ALL) from the ALL-Kids list. caringbridge.com/nj/rajshah <jitenshah@yahoo.com>
South Brunswick, nj USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 02:45 PM (CDT)

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Hello Debbie & Family, It has been awhile since I have signed the guestbook, but I still think of you and pray for you everyday.... I signed on to do my local light the night walk this september because of Matthew...even though I never knew him... You remain in my prayers, God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
Mobile, AL - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 01:16 PM (CDT)

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My heart goes out to his family and friends.
Furious Styles BVA
cincinnati, ohio usa - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 08:55 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
I have not forgotten, I check Matthews page everyday, just as I did before his joining the Lord. Thanks for still allowing me to be part of your family in this way. Good luck with the wedding , your family is beautiful and I know you and your daughter will do what is best for everyone concerning Matt's picture or any thing else you must decide on when planning a wedding. YOur a strong family and one who loves each other.
Again, I will continue to pray for all of you, God knows your pain and He will make it easier as time goes on but for now He is holding your precious son, Matthew

A friend, who found out about Matthew through Diane Pearl. I know they could use your help when the wedding is over, they are in the middle of the battle with both their children.
good night, Bonnie P.
BOnnie Prince <bjprince2@aol.com>
wildwood, mo - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 10:54 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,

I just want you to know that I think of you and your family often and am continuing to pray for you. May God give you peace.

God bless,
Lisa Agee (www.caringbridge.com/page/ross) <lagee67@hotmail.com>
Camden, AL - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 09:33 PM (CDT)

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I don't know him, I heard he was cool :) Your the man Matt
Justin *
- Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 05:25 PM (CDT)

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Well I am grateful that you do have the wedding to deal with and prepare for, its a good distraction somewhat right now. I am sorry for all this, and I know your loss must be so hard to cope with. Please let us know how you are and how you are doing in the weeks to come. We know you are a strong person and all, but when things settle down its going to sink in a little more. Its so hard to imagine what you must be feeling and going through right now. Something no one should have to go through. And with Kristin's death so soon after Matt's, yes I am kind of feeling the same way about the teens.... Its such a shame.
Chris
Gooch's Site
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 01:21 PM (CDT)

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Still praying for your family during this time of sorrow. I'm glad that your family has the wedding to keep you busy and to look forward to. Know that we all still care and are keeping you in our thoughts.
Sheryl Clubb
Eureka, MO USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:04 AM (CDT)

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i dont know you guys perosnally or your son but i read about him on a gaming site and read his good-bye and i choked up and i personally give my condolences even if it is a month late he sounded like a good man im am sorry for your loss
Brandon "Trimmer" Lee
- Monday, August 19, 2002 at 11:32 PM (CDT)

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I haven't stopped by in a few days so I wanted to check on Matthew's family. In times like this it is always hard to know what to say. Please keep in mind all these wonderful people are praying for you and we are still praying for you here in NE. God loves you with an everlasting love and as much as we all love Matthew God loves him even more. Lean on God and let him comfort you and guide you.
God Bless
The Kalcik's
Crete, NE USA - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 09:20 PM (CDT)

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Hi Friends, thinking about you today, wishing I could hold your hands and give hugs and help you somehow. Sending all our love,
Dan and Cathy Wallace
- Monday, August 19, 2002 at 08:25 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I think of you and Matthew so often. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Like you, I'm a nurse, and that's a double-edged sword when taking care of a child with cancer. Hold on to Matthew in your heart and in your dreams. He's always there.
Praying for you and your family.
Jane, mom to K.J., 18, T-cell ALL, dx. 11/01
Jane Freestone <jwfreestone@us.net>
Silver Spring, MD USA - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 07:23 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matthew will never be forgotten. I am worried about YOU now. I want you and Dirk to take care of each other. The wedding is a good distraction for the moment. If you need to vent, we are here to listen. I won't stop praying for the family. Peace be with you
Amy & Rosie Rumberger (ALLKIDS) <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 04:18 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
Thanks so much for the update. I'm sure sometimes you don't know what to say, but just let us know that you are all doing ok. I think everyone that checks in just wants to know how all of you are doing and that you are making it one day at a time. All the wedding plans sound so beautiful. I was also a September bride, this Sept 12 will be 15 years - time flies!! I will certainly be remembering your whole family on Julie's special day. I know that you will feel Matthew's presence with you on that day. Just let his love surround you along with that of our Heavenly Father and I know everything will be wonderful. I keep you all in my prayers daily and I just love to stop here and look at Matthew's face, what a beautiful smile!! You are a tremendous family - just remember we are all still here to hold you up. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 03:54 PM (CDT)

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sorry to hear about your loss
cervezas dude
mi usa - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 01:55 PM (CDT)

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It would be nice to have a picture next to the rose but Matthew will be at Julie's wedding on everybody's minds regardless of whether she has a picture of him on the altar. His spirit and memory will lve on in all of your hearts especially on this, the most precious day of Julie's life. We all hope that you have a beautiful day and that memories of Matthew's better days will light the smiles on your faces.
John <johnappleton@hotmail.com>
Salem, MA, - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 07:13 AM (CDT)

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Thinking about you today and just wanted you to know. I'm praying that God will bring you that peace that passes all understanding.
Jo <Jvon557@aol.com>
Crestview, FL - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 06:26 AM (CDT)

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Sorry for your great loss. Matthews story has touched me and I will never forget him.
Dan
Dardenne , Mo - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 01:38 AM (CDT)

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Hello again. I just got home tonight after being gone to Ft. Benning, GA for six weeks. On the way home we stopped in St. Louis to visit family and when we left we drove through O'Fallon. I said a prayer for all of you and for Matthew. What a blessing Matthew continues to be for so many! It is truly a miracle, the lives he has touched, and continues to touch!! I pray that you will all continue to feel his love. Debbie, when my father died I was like you, unable to "get past" the last few weeks, same when Mother died. But one day I could again "hear" their laughter and "see" their smiles ….. I pray God's comfort for you and ask Him to sustain you until the day you will once again "hear" Matthew's laughter and "see" his smile.
Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA 93465 - Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 11:32 PM (CDT)

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Just wanted to let you know your family is still in my prayers and Matt will never be forgotten.
Brian
- Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 12:08 PM (CDT)

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Hello,
Thank you for sharing Matthew's ordeal, it has helped me to remember that life is so dear, and a few days ago - I donated blood, I got a notification from my Mom(Head nurse) that it was given to a Luekemick 10 year old boy (Im not sure if i spelled it right).

God bless you and your family, may your Son rest in peace.

Sympathetically,
Kyle Foxon.
Kyle Foxon <kfoxon@bellsouth.net>
Pietermartitzburg, KZN South Africa - Friday, August 16, 2002 at 08:20 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Hallemeier Family,

I have been thinking about you often over this past week, and hoping that life has begun a new "normal" routine. Please know that I am praying for you often.

Your friend in VA,
Judy Blicharz
McLean, VA USA - Friday, August 16, 2002 at 08:33 AM (CDT)

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Someone showed me the threads at frontlineforce.com about Zofran -- I don't know him from Adam, and I read the whole thread in tears. God keep him and his family.
Kristofer Straub
- Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 09:38 PM (CDT)

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I still check your site daily and hope you are doing okay. I hope Julie's wedding will help you keep your mind focused on something happy because I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. You are a brave woman and some day will be rewarded for all you've endured. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers often and even though we've never met, your loss has been devasting for us. Best of luck to you in the days to come and I hope Julie's wedding goes off without a hitch!! I know Matt is looking down on you and is so proud to call you his mom and his dad!! What a great kid he must have been - there must be a reason God always takes the BEST!!



Chris Meier <gavinmeier@cs.com>
Ballwin, mo USA - Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 09:27 PM (CDT)

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by matt we miss you thanks !!!!!!!!!
->f2g<-blutsauger
germany - Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 06:13 PM (CDT)

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I was recently searching around the forums of a new Half Life mod that is currently being made called CIN ( conflict in nam ) when i came across a topic about Matt. I viewed the post and clicked on the link that led me to read Matt's incredible story. He has touched soo many people including myself. A tear came to my eye as i read Matt's story and beleive me, that doesnt happen very often. Although i never had the opportunity to meet Matt, I am proud of him for fighting his battle against cancer with the amount of pain he was going through for as long as he did. I will never forget this incredible story. Best wishes to Matt and his family.

Trevor
Trevor <mickeyduhickey@hotmail.com>
London, Ont Canada - Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 05:49 PM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are still with you. Words still cannot express my empathy for your grief, and my admiration for your courage. I think of Matthew and your family often and hope that some peace of mind will eventually come to you.
Karin Mika, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 04:23 PM (CDT)

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Mrs.Hallemeier, How are you? I've been watching and praying for you and your family for many weeks. As Matt's time grew near my prayers changed to you directly. My mother, grandmother and sister have all felt the loss of a child. I guessed that as the wheel of time kept on rolling we would hear less and less from you. This I hope is a good thing. My prayers continue that you will all feel the peace and comfort of our Lord. I have been blessed by you and Matt.
George Watkins
Indianapolis, IN US - Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 04:12 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
My heart goes out to you. You are a very strong woman. And Matthew was very lucky to have a Mom like you. You are right there is to many of our precious children dyeing from this cancer. It is not right. And something needs to be done. I just hope you will find comfort in knowing you and Dirk did all humanly possible for Matthew while he was hear on Earth.
Hugs and Prayers,
Dawn Gresham (Tommy's Mom ALL-Kids) <bdmtg@hotmail.com >
Warrenville, SC - Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 01:57 PM (CDT)

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You will never be forgotten, your spirit lives on
My prayers are with your soul
Tjeerd Boerman <tj33rd@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 11:32 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family, I just wanted to stop in and check your website. I continue to pray for you and your family. May you continue to be able to face each and every day with the strength attained from prayers from your friends. The days ahead will be hard, but may you and your family find peace and time to enjoy the wedding plans that are being made.
Margie- mom to Karissa, Anna, William, adn wife to Kris <gscrazy@juno.com>
Ft. Lewis`, WA United States - Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 09:17 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, Christopher and Julie,
I just wanted to sign in quick to let you know that I continue to pray for you each and everyday. I still stop here at least once a day to see if you've posted and to read other's messages. I love the poem that Anita left. I actually have that poem sitting in my bible at home. It is so beautiful. I hope that you are all doing as well as you can. Julie, I hope the wedding plans are going well. I'm sure it will be a beautiful ceremony. Just remember there are still a ton of us out here praying for your strength and for God to guide you through each new day. I'm sure that Matthew is doing his part to get you through each rough spot. He continues to be my "hero". God's blessings always. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 01:47 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Dirk,
My sister-in-law sent this over to me today. I have no idea who wrote it but thought it was a lovely poem.

When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today.
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me.
As much as I love you.
And each time that you think of me
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand
That an angel came and called my name
and took me by the hand
And said my place was ready
In heaven far above
And that I'll have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But when I walked through heaven's gates
I felt so much at home,
When God looked down and smiled at me from
His great golden throne
He said "This is eternity And all I've promised you"
Today for life on earth is past
But here it starts anew
I promise no tomorrow
For today will always last
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past
So when tomorrow starts without me
Don't think we're far apart
For every time you think of me
I'm right here in your heart


Anita Bernardo
Granada Hills, CA USA - Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 01:31 PM (CDT)

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Thinking of you all ...

I can imagine that it must be difficult right now to reconcile your feelings of joy at Julie's impending marriage with the sadness of losing Matt ...

Hang in there! Lots of people are praying for you!
Justine Germaine <jfgermaine@hotmail.com>
Madiso, WI USA - Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 11:55 AM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family-
I returned to my classroom today to find out about Matt. I want you to know he was definitely a bright spot in my day. I had the pleasure of having Matt in my advisement for a year and in my art class for two. Matt had an infectous smile and laugh. I am sure that you know he had the ability to get along with so many different kinds of people. I admired him for that. I am so sorry for your loss. For everyone that knew Matt there is a feeling of sadness-but of joy for knowing him.

Pam Walsh
Pattonville Heights
Pam Walsh <pwalsh@psdr3.org>
Maryland Heights, Mo usa - Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 07:24 AM (CDT)

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I am sorry I am late in sharing this with you, but I could not find it. This poem really touched me and I pray it will also touch you . I think about you often and want you to know I feel you did your very best with Matt. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

MAY I GO NOW?

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say good bye to pain-filled days?
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best
an example tried to be
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free.

I didn't want to go at first
I fought with all my might
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and glowing light.

I want to go - I really do
It's difficult to stay
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid
because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
That my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me
You know I love you too.
That's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this time with you.

So, hold me now, just one more time
and let me hear you say,
Because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go away.

By Susan A. Jackson

Chloe Albert <FCA777@aol.com>
Decatur, IL USA - Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 05:17 AM (CDT)

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I Didn't Know Matt Personally, Only From The HL Community, I only just found out about this news, and i'm seriously sorry to hear it =(. But fear not, he has gone to a better place, a place of happiness.
Blaskawitz
- Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 02:23 AM (CDT)

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I am so so very sorry for your loss. I didn't know matt personally, but I read his story on an online gaming website, I give you my deepest and most sincere condolences. I myself lost my grandfather to leukemia. May God be with you during this horrendous time. Matthew and your family will be in my prayers.
Austin Andersen <takeda_2000@yahoo.com>
Oceanside, CA United States - Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 02:04 AM (CDT)

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sorry to hear about the loss of your son. i didnt know him directly, but hes helped out in the half-life gaming community. i cant imagine how fruitless my words mean to you right now. but my condolences are strong. I wish you and your family the best. God Bless.
Justin
Justin <BEEZLEBORG@aol.com>
- Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 01:44 AM (CDT)

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Thank you for allowing me to meet your Angel. My heart grieves for your loss. I too have experienced the pain of loss. My 18 year old son was recently killed in a tragic late night auto accident just a half mile from his home on March 02,2002. We will meet one day on a Heavenly shore face to face and smile again because there will be no more sad goodbyes.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HEARTSCRY_DeathofaChild/

I hope you will come share your story among other survivors at or Support Group called HeartsCry.


Jim Reese Sr <jereese_2000@yahoo.com>
Irmo, SC USA - Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 01:06 AM (CDT)

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DEAR DEBBIE,
I CAME ACROSS MATT'S SITE VIA ANOTHER LEUKEMIA HERO.I SAY HERO BECAUSE IN MY HEART ALL CHILDREN "WIN" THEIR BATTLES WITH THIS HORRIBLE BEAST - WHETHER HERE ON EARTH OR IN HEAVEN ABOVE.. I HAVE 2 SONS --ONE 16 YRS. OLD JUST 2 MONTHS OLDER THAN MATT. AND ONE ALMOST 4 --DIAGNOSED WITH A RARE FORM OF LEUKEMIA(JMML) AT AGE 4 MOS. EACH ARE THE "LOVES " OF MY LIFE .I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR COURAGEOUS FAMILY THAT EACH DAY GOD GIVES YOU PEACE TO FACE THE DAY WITH THE STRENGTH TO ENDURE UNTIL YOU SEE HIM IN HEAVEN.
P.S. BEST WISHES JULIE!!
Danette Prater www.caringbridge.com/tx/jacobprater <jakesmom@wt.net>
SANTA FE, TX - Monday, August 12, 2002 at 09:11 PM (CDT)

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Hi To All Of You,

We just got back into town and as always I checked your wonderful stories. I only made 3 sentences of your poem. It was beautiful. Debbie I'm so glad you have your daughters wedding coming up to keep you busy. I'm so glad you are still going to the grief counselor too. I forgot to tell you I did finish the poem but couldn't see to read. Where did you find that? I still think about you almost every day. I have been checking Alexandria's history daily too. She has also had a very rough go. She still has 10% of blast cells and the pneumonia is still in her system. They want to do another round of chemo but not until the pneumonia is gone completely. I'm like you, I just wish the cure would come really soon. My uncles best friends grandson was just diagnosed with ALL (4-5yrs old) and was taken from Westville, IL to St. Louis last week. Derrick Drake. We also have some friends here in Sidell and some distant cousin of theirs which is again around 5 years old and was just diagnosed. I guess that's where prayer come in and believing and constantly asking. Sometimes I feel that's all I get done doing is begging and asking and pleading. Chad just keeps reminding all of us to KEEP THE FAITH! It's hard and I know you know what we're talking about. When is the wedding? ? ? Still praying and thinking good thoughts for all of you. Take care and I'll be checking in again.

Love-N-Christ

Chris
Chris McDowell <christymcd@yahoo.com>
Sidell, IL - Monday, August 12, 2002 at 07:53 PM (CDT)

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Just a note to let you know I still think of you and your loved ones daily. I really have been meaning to go see Matt's site, but I want to pick up a copy for Half-life to leave for him and I haven't had the money. Knowing of Matt has made a difference in my life and I no longer let little stuff get me down, cause I can always think of all that Matt had to endure and how he always seems to keep his head held high, and my trivial matters dissapear. I look forward to the day I can visit Matt's spirit and we can play some FLF or whatever new games they have up there that we haven't seen yet. I bet he's playing the new Unreal Tourn. right now before it's even released. I'll just have to practice that much more so I'll be a challenge :)

Dan Kettmann <dkettman@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO 63301 - Monday, August 12, 2002 at 04:08 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Family,

This is my first visit to your site. I must say that I believe you are one of the bravest women I have heard of. I have spent most of this afternoon reading the story of your beautiful son.
I began with the most recent entries, then quickly moved to the beginning of your story.
I cannot believe the suffering your son and your family have endured this past 2 1/2 years. It is evident though that througout all of it you have remained strong and have continued to live productive lives. God Bless your children Julie and Christopher for contiuning to support their brother while going to college and living their own lives.

I cannot express the admiration I have for all of you.

Matt was such a courageous young man, you are truly blessed to have had such a brave child, he will continue to live in all of the hearts his story has touched.
He has inspired me to be more appreciative of all the good health my children have had.

I hope your daughter's wedding will be a beautiful happy event, Matt, I am sure will be there singing with the angels.

God Bless You and thank you for sharing.
Gail
Toronto, ON Canada - Monday, August 12, 2002 at 02:30 PM (CDT)

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Debbie & family,

You continue to be in my every thought and prayer. This disease is just so devastating. I have followed many journeys since my brother's passing last year and most of which have just broken my heart. How can there be so many losses to Leukemia?? For the 3rd year "Mike's Team" will be gallantly participating in the Leukemia Society's Light the Night Walk in September. We have been the largest friends/family team for the past two years and have raised over $15k for research to fight this dreaded disease. Mike is the Memorial Honoree this year and will are striving to make this the most successful ($$) fundraiser yet! I know this won't help our boys, but maybe it will save the lives of others down the road. We will proudly walk in Matthew's honor also.

Hugs to you and your family, I know this is the most difficult.

Mike Hunter 8/1/73 - 7/16/01 ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike

Vicki Hoffman <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Monday, August 12, 2002 at 12:06 PM (CDT)

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Visiting from Heavenly Lights web site - my deepest sympathy in the loss of your precious son.
Hugs & Prayers,
Liz
(Forever ~Caroline's~ Mommy)
http://www.angelfire.com/home/lovecaroline
Liz <elizabethvillani@hotmail.com>
Cary, NC USA - Monday, August 12, 2002 at 09:54 AM (CDT)

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You will get to the point where your memories will make you smile but I don't know if one ever gets to the point of losing the ones that make you double over in pain. Ariel Jean Marie has been gone almost 2 years and she pops into my thoughts and makes me grin every so often. I also have the PICU memories that just take my breath away they hurt so much. You are in our prayers.

holly
http://www.pilink.com/wa/arielmarinkovich/
Holly
WA - Sunday, August 11, 2002 at 12:41 PM (CDT)

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You have a beautiful memorial site for your son, Im sorry for your loss.. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Always Loved ~ Never Forgotten
Newsletter For Grieving Parents:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/alnf1030/






Doris <cdmaa@insightbb.com>
- Sunday, August 11, 2002 at 12:23 AM (CDT)

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It's never easy to watch cancer claim another young life. Always remember you are never alone as you walk this long road, although it seems the lonliest place on earth. Matthew's name will always be spoken with love and smiles.
Kelly hometown.aol.com/lostmyjosh/joshua.html <lostmyjosh@aol.com>
Grand Rapids, Mi - Saturday, August 10, 2002 at 01:34 PM (CDT)

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Just received our weekly Heavenly Lights newsletter and saw that your Matthew has a star.
I am sure that he is now also a star. Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your family.
We pray that our precious Lord might shower you with His special comfort and peace amd
keep you in His tender embrace.
Yolanda Rogers, Mom to Anna, http://www.galatians5.com <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL United States - Saturday, August 10, 2002 at 01:01 PM (CDT)

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I am so sorry for the loss of your son. He seems like a true fighter. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers
Heidi <dajmom0507@aol.com>
Zeeland , MI USA - Saturday, August 10, 2002 at 12:50 PM (CDT)

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"Remember that grief is not something you get over,
It is something you walk through."
My Shoes are worn and my feet hurt from this walk...
unknown author
- Saturday, August 10, 2002 at 10:15 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and Family,
Just wanted to let you know you are still in our thoughts and prayers. The poem you shared was awesome, I recently lost my Father to cancer and the poem sure hit home. Hope you have a great weekend. May the peace of the Lord be with you all. God Bless.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Friday, August 09, 2002 at 05:11 PM (CDT)

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Julie and family, My name is Julie Janes and I am a friend of Julie's. Although we are not close friends i was devasted to hear of this news. I wanted to let you all know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, may God be with you now and always. Best wishes for a beautiful wedding. Thinking of You, Julie Janes
Julie Janes <julia.janes@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY Calloway - Friday, August 09, 2002 at 03:43 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie ~
Thank you for sharing the poem with us ~ it is beautiful. It sounds like you are busy getting ready for Julie's wedding ~ what a blessing. I think of your sweet family every day and continue to pray for you all. I was also devastated about Kristin's death ~ what a beautiful young woman! God certainly does take the best of us ~ both Matthew and Kristin have no doubt made heaven a happier place.
Take care, my friend. I pray that you find more peace as time goes by and that your heart and mind will be filled with memories of a healthy and happy Matthew.
Thinking of you with love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, August 09, 2002 at 12:27 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Dirk,
Just a note to let you know you are in our thoughts and prayers.
The Donato Family
Dardenne Praire, MO USA - Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 10:34 PM (CDT)

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damn man.. i read about this a while ago when u had pulled through on flf forum.. like sum1 said earlier ure just 1 step ahead of us mate.. i hope ure doing well whereva u are mate :(
Nicholas . aka Angelus <angelus_10000@hotmail.com>
sydney, NSW Australia - Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 09:11 PM (CDT)

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words can't express the sorry I have in my heart for you. I know I didn't know him but I read about him in the gaming community. my prayers and thoughts are with you.
mike
mike <toxicbaddogg@yahoo.com>
ocoee, fl orange - Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 05:22 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and family,
I just wanted to, along with everyone else, let you know that you are all still in my prayers every day and I still come by here at least once each day to see if you have updated. I had also been checking on Kristin each day, and was so shocked to read that she had passed away also. I guess I was hoping that she was going to beat this monster. She and Matt were both very courageous, strong individuals that gave it their all!! I have to agree that somehow we have to come up with the cure to stop all this. What a mixture of emotions you must be feeling right now. You've got all the joy and excitement of Julie's wedding mixed with all the sadness of Matthew's death. Two totally different extremes. I also believe that Matthew is smiling on all of you, but like you, can't imagine the grief you are feeling right now. At the end when you didn't want him to suffer anymore, I'm sure you prayed for God to take him home, but now I'm sure you just feel like "if I could just hold his body one more time". I don't know if that feeling will go away, but I pray that God will give you the grace and strength to get through each of these days, one at a time!! You are an awesome mother, wife and friend; that is very evident even to people like me that have never met you in person. Please take everything at your own pace and take the "down time" that you need to "be alone" with your thoughts and feelings. I'm so glad you are going to the grief counselor, I'm sure it will help in some way. Please know there are so many people here that still care, love and pray for your whole family each day. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 03:29 PM (CDT)

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Debbie
your grief is still so new and your pain so evident.
I feel awful for you and Kristin's mom. This is getting to be unreal, the number of kids dying from the most curable cancer.

Chris
Gooch's Site
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 11:50 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, you will ALWAYS be in my thoughts and prayers.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 11:37 AM (CDT)

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I definitely haven't forgotten you guys. I think of you every day and check to see if you've updated. Take care as best you can and know that you are loved--even by people you've never met. Do whatever you need to in order to heal. No one knows what you need but God and no one knows how you feel except you and God, so just do whatever you and He decide is best.
Khalita <khalita.jones@duke.edu>
Durham, NC - Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 08:58 AM (CDT)

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Debbie- Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, Matthew and your family.
Diane Mathis (Mitchell's mom) <Stubby3620@aol.com>
right now in Durham, NC, - Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 08:06 PM (CDT)

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Hi,

Thank you for writing and telling us your feelings. I know that must be very hard for you to do. I don't know your pain, but rest assured that people are praying for you and Dirk. It will probably give you comfort to talk to others that have lost children. They know and have felt your pain.
I was thinking about Matthew today. I am glad that I came by the site today. God Bless.



Anita
Sikeston, MO - Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 02:40 PM (CDT)

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on another note, it is also so sad to lose a kid of that age, I am only 2 years above him and each day I will think about how lucky I am to be alive.
so from a gamer to another.
GG Zofran
Dustin Rehagen <duksir@yahoo.com>
Springfield, MO USA - Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 02:32 PM (CDT)

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I was on IRC when I stumbled on to this site. As I read through I began to think of his life and how he was loved. and that makes me so sad.
I recently lost my brother june 5th in a horrible car wreck, and I guess I just felt the need to post here and maybe spread a few words to help eas the pain.
Your Son,Brother,Friend was a great kid, obviosuly loved by many, he will not be fogotton nor will he forget you. I visit my brothers gravesite everyday just to feel like he is with me, I am sure your son,brother,friend is with you keeping you safe and looking out for you.
Dustin Rehagen <DuKsir@yahoo.com>
Springfield, MO USA - Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 02:28 PM (CDT)

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I'm still checking in on your family as time allows. I'm praying everyday that your heart will somehow mend. Please know that people still care and are wishing your family nothing but the best.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 10:50 PM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers go out to your family. I am very sorry for the loss of your son.


Shane Harris
Mechanicsville, VA USA - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 05:34 PM (CDT)

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Hey Debbie, just dropped in to let you know we are thinking of you all, every day. Today a co-worker asked about the picture I have of your family hanging on my desk. I told him all about Matthew. Then I had a vision pop into my head of Matthew zooming through Heaven like he did as a child, stirring up the hems of the white robes as he passed, with a big grin on his face. I know he is there, and well now. Hugs to all of you, Love, Cathy
Cathy Wallace
Bridgeton, MO USA - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 05:34 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie - I remember following Matthew's story from about Christmas. I have been keeping up to date with this website ever since, and following Matthew's tragic journey, as you know. I will continue to offer my prayers, support and thoughts for the healing of you and your family - but, having lost my beloved mother suddenly last year, I know it is sure much easier said than done!
Love, Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, UK - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 04:03 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family,

Sending my love. You are all in my thoughts every day.
Laura Piper, mom to Dani, ALL-Kids <laurapiper@hotmail.com>
Hampton, IA - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 02:44 PM (CDT)

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God Bless
A Gamer
Aurora, IL USA - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 02:05 PM (CDT)

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I have been coming to Matthew's website for a little over a month. I have only signed the guestbook once and that was before his death. It is just so hard to find the right words to say. I am only 20 years old, so I have never lost a child. But I had a very close cousin die and I witnessed the pain of my aunt (her mother) first hand. It was truly heartbreaking. I just wanted you to know that from another state I share in your loss and will never forget Matthew, his strength, nor the impact he had during his time here. I will continue praying for your family. I pray that Julie's wedding will be as perfect as she ever dreamed. I love they way she is remembering Matt on her special day. I was married a few months ago and I lit a candle in memory of my mother who passed when I was 8. It was in a way a bitter sweet day, but it will always remain one of my happiest. God bless you all.
Caroline Gallucci <carolinew@hardingrace.com>
Benton, AR - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 01:06 PM (CDT)

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I do still check Matthews web sight. My heart is still feeling your pain but knowing that you loved Matthew enough to let him go "Home" to his reward early and be pain free. I can not begin to understand your pain, but I do know that I can pray for your comfort. In Him, a Christian who prays to the same God as you do.:O) BjP
B.Prince <bjprince1>
wildwood, mo - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 09:38 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie
Just wanted to say hi and say I'm thinking of you all.
Thank you for this beautiful site. It is a perfect tribute to your precious "CHAMPION", Matthew.
I can't believe how many have visited it!! It goes to show how special Matt is and how much he means, to SO many, all over the world!!
The hook and basket of flowers sounds perfect too!

Love & cuddles to you and all your lovely family!
Liz & her precious gang, from Down Under. XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family (ALL-KIDS) <meajbc@bigpod.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 05:27 AM (CDT)

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Hallemeier Family,
Best wishes ! God bless your family
I am still keeping a watch out on the website!
I pray for your family,
Matt <subzero914@charter.net>
Pleasant Grove , Al USA - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 04:52 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Family,

I echo Amy's comments. You continue to be in our prayers and thoughts. Thank you for writing your heart on here, I love to read what you say. You are a blessing to so many. Big hugs to you.

"...the Lord himself will come down from Heaven; those who have died in Christ will be the first to rise...This is the way we shall be with the Lord forever...we should then encourage each other." 1 Thes 4:17-18
Beth, mom to Bobby <CancrRider@aol.com>
Mount Airy, MD USA - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 08:42 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Family, Just wanted you to know that our prayers for the Hallemeiers continue. This is so difficult...the hardest thing you will ever do. Take it easy on yourselves. Know that there is no "right" way to grieve. My thoughts are with you so so often. God bless you.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger (ALLKIDS) <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 07:40 PM (CDT)

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Greetings for Spain
I'm really sorry for the lost of Matthew.
Be strong!
Bye
Aingeru Tejero <terejo@euskalnet.net>
Bilbao, Spain Vizcaya - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 12:13 PM (CDT)

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Dirk and Debbie ~
Just stopped in to see how you all were doing. We got in from the mission trip later in the evening yesterday. I am sorry for your pain and your suffering now that Matt is gone. We (the youth group) have been praying for you; that you are reminded that, even in tragedy, the Lord will never leave you or forsake you. He is there always to guide you and comfort you. I hope you feel and know his comfort. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran Church <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 08:54 AM (CDT)

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Just wanted to stop in and say I have been thinking about you all, I did not know Matthew, but I followed his fight, he was a very strong person....I can't say I understand your pain, but I know the pain I feel is horrendous. If you ever need to talk, feel free to email me
Sandi
(\o/)~forever Kayleigh's mommy~
www.caringbridge.com/nc/kayleighbanfalvy

Sandi <SieraHaze@aol.com>
Clayton, NC - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 07:23 AM (CDT)

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As a new week begins I want you to know that I will be praying for you to find comfort in knowing that Matt is in the arms of Jesus. He is smiling down on all of his family and I am sure that he will begin to show you little signs, from above that he is no longer in pain and is enjoying his promised peace, for his faithfulness to our Lord. I will continue to keep all of you in our prayers.Love&Prayers, Peggy
Peggy Hyland <mhyland6@aol.com>
Mason, OH - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 06:30 AM (CDT)

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I didn't know Matthew but from what I've heard, I wish I had. I'm very sorry about your loss and you are all in my prayers!!!
Justin Blankenship <oomph@herzeleid.org>
Lee's Summit, MO USA - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 05:17 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you. I will never forget matt and what a wonderful kid he was.
Heather Taylor RN <nurseheather_99@hotmail.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 11:33 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Christopher, and Julie,
Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking about all of you and praying for Jesus to give you strength and to carry you through this difficult time. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary Roach
Susan Roach
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 11:19 PM (CDT)

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Debbie
no we havent forgotten him
and I still sit here and cry thinking of what you are going through

Chris
chrisrusso_@hotmail.com
Gooch's Site
- Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 10:44 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk and Family,
I just want to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I feel so bless to have been able to share a couple of hours with you and Matt. I just hate that I didn't get a chance to meet Matt earlier. I heard nothing but good things about him. I will always remeber how strong of a person you were. Even if you don't hear from me my thoughts and prayers will always be with ou. Stay encourage.
Nurse Pam- BJC Wings <ricepam58@yahoo.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 10:17 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family~
Hi, Its me Erica again. You all don't know me but Julie (youth group) introducted me to you all at the lay out of Matthew. But I don't know if you remeber me. I just want to let you all know that your all in my prayers still. And I just hope that you all can heal well and that Matthew is now in good hands. I just want to God Bless you all!! E-mail me back please...it will be good to read your e-mails. Oh and I still come back every other day and see what you have wrote.
Erica Hollander <Sweetcaks43@aol.com>
St.Charles, MO USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 09:01 PM (CDT)

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Hi you guys. Just dropping in to say hi. I still check the website everyday. I feel as if I know you guys personally. I can picture Matthew having the time of his life in Heaven right now. Looking down on us and smiling and not wanting us to be sad because he's so happy. Bye for now !
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 07:12 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Hallemeier family,
I don't think I will ever forget Matthew or the other children who have lost their courageous fight with ALL from the ALL-kids list. I say a prayer every night for all of them and all of their loving families. I hope time will bring you peace. I cannot even begin to know what you're going through. Thank you for continuing to update Matthew's web page. I think of you all often.
God bless you,
Linda Deitz www.caringbridge.com/mn/dannydeitz <Deitzjl@peoplepc.com>
Andover, MN - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 04:27 PM (CDT)

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Mr and Mrs. Hallemeier and Family
We are praying for you and your son, and have been keeping your family in our thoughts. We hope you all can find some peace in knowing your son is with his Lord. Good luck and God Bless you all.

The Ederer Family (Our Savior Lutheran Church)
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 03:01 PM (CDT)

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I didn't know Matthew, but I feel that I have to post something to say how truly sorry I am for not knowing him and to also say that my and my team's thoughts are with Matthew's family and friends.

Love and peace to all,
Ken xxx
Ken Barnes <kenbarnes@gamebox.net>
Exmouth, DV UK - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 02:14 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk & Debbie:

Jesus said: "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted." (Matthew 5:4)

It is written: "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Thank you for the update, Debbie. May the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ comfort you and Dirk. Turn to Him. Turn to His words. "For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope." (Romans 15:4)

I am remembering you in my prayers.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 01:00 PM (CDT)

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i knew matt from when we gamed together..he was a great gamer, and a great person
rest in peace matt
kristina
hilliard, ohio usa - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 12:31 PM (CDT)

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although i didnt know matt and neither what he has done to the online community, tears are coming and its hard to fight my feelings right now.

i hope you are strong enough to handle that lost!
sadly from germany!
simon
simon
- Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 08:04 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family,
Thank you for keeping a record of Matt's journey. While he rests in peace now, his story is inspiring myself and many others to appreciate the time we have, and live our lives to the fullest. For that, you can justly be proud of him.
My heart and prayers are with you and your family in this time of grief. God bless you all.
Troy Simmons
Brisbane, QLD Australia - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 07:45 AM (CDT)

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I am an active member of the day of defeat community, something similar to what Matt was strongly involved with. On behalf of all the members from that, you have our deepest sympathy.... our prayers go out to the family and their tragic loss...
Jorrit Wijnberg <Orange@dodhq.net>
Vlissingen, The Netherlands - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 07:24 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie ~
I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you tonight and praying that your family finds some moments of peace and comfort in the midst of all the pain. Oh, I can't imagine how much you all must miss Matthew! My heart is with you. Take care.
Love ~ Stacey and family
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 01:07 AM (CDT)

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I came to your sight through Andrew Colletti's site (also with leukemia). Please accept our sympathies. Julie, my mother died only 3 months before my wedding....we had a beautiful large white candle surrounded by gorgeous flowers to represent her at the wedding ceremony. We had "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera played on the piano while my sister's fiancee light the candle before the grandparents were brought into the sanctuary. it was a touching remembrance. I'm sure you'll sense your brother on your wedding day.
Michele & David Nelson <biglabs@earthlink.net>
King William, VA USA - Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 09:25 PM (CDT)

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hey guys. i'm just checking up on you again. you've been in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be. i can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child. i just know that whenever i've been at that point (of life and death), i've always worried more about the people who would be left behind. because when you're in heaven you're great! so, i know that it's the hardest thing in the world for parents. take care as best you can and know that you're loved and are being prayed for.
Khalita C Jones <khalita.jones@duke.edu>
Durham, NC - Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 09:08 PM (CDT)

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i can't really express my feelings... this is so sad to hear even though i didn't know u IRL/IRC. All i can say is that i hope that your time on earth was as great as it could be. Hope u have it better now.....
Jerry Heed <jerry_heed@hotmail.com>
Sölvesborg, Blekinge Sweden - Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 05:19 PM (CDT)

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I am an admin for HLDM servers and I won ag-stats.net. I is a great lose to loose a fellow admin and coder at such a young age. I hope that the enormous size of this guest book now show his parents just how tight the community is and how much he was appriciated. God bless all of you.

-=DnS=-Tom
-=DnS=-Tom <tom@ag-stats.net>
Sarasota, fla Manatee - Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 03:08 PM (CDT)

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i didnt know him, but from what i know now he was a great guy, so long live his memory...rip matt
Mark
- Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 02:50 PM (CDT)

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My heart and prayers go out to mat and his family. I pray that god will be able comfort the ones he has left behind. And we all know mat is looking down on us now and we can look forward to seeing him again when our time comes.
Michael Mcc. <michael_mcco@hotmail.com>
houston, tx united states - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 06:26 PM (CDT)

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very sad thing... he was a great kid and it is a crime he has been taken from this world so young... he will be loved and missed...
Jon Colet <ulbwipeout@hotmail.com>
Walnut Creek, CA USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 03:52 PM (CDT)

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rest in peace brother ...
D|S-k0z <k0z@teamdarkside.net>
Richmond, VA Usa - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 02:49 PM (CDT)

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I did not know Zofran or did i even play FLF, but I lost a cousin to Luekimia (sp?) when i was about 5. It's a very sad thing, and i hope one day science can conquer stuff like this. Look at the bright side, he spent his last years enjoying what he was doing. See you in the next life Zofran
James Montis (yolo)
Corpus christi, Tx USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 02:45 PM (CDT)

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I saw matts post on the FLF website maybe a month ago. I dont even play FLF i play cs. I dont really know why im posting here. It just touched me so much to see the community responding like it has. I am truly deeply sorry for your loss. Ive never spoken with your son, nor have i gamed with him... many people will tell you there is no such thing as a gaming community but i guess we all know they are wrong. Such love from people who have never met in real life. My heart goes out to your family, it truly does.
David Lowry <JDKool00@aol.com>
Grand Rapids, Mi USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 01:20 PM (CDT)

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I did not know Matthew or your family, but i visited your website and read the whole story behind Matthew. I just want to pay my respects and wish your family the best of luck and I know how hard it is to loose someone of such a young age. I lost my best friend when he and I were 12. May God be with you. My deepest apologies.
Mike Coloma aka Jones <mcsoccer2001@aol.com>
Roswell, GA USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 01:18 PM (CDT)

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I just dropped in to see how your family is doing. I'm glad that things everywhere remind you of Matthew. I never knew him, but your journal entries make me think he was an amazing kid that will never be forgotten! I will, however, pray that you find peace in your memories. I will also pray for a beautiful wedding--a day full of love for the future and tenderness for the past. God bless you all.
Christi Hamilton
Dove Canyon, CA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 10:28 AM (CDT)

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You will be in my prayers Matthew and your family. Take it easy where ever you are.
Luke
UK, - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 04:06 AM (CDT)

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To Matt's Family,
I didn't know of your beautiful family until about a week ago. Since then i've been up long nights reading the journals. I learned of you through my brother (who learned of Matt through FLF). My brothers six year old daughter, Jordan, also has ALL. You have asked the ever so hard question of "why". One reason is I appreciate my family so much more after my niece was diagnosed and after reading your story. My son turned two on July 23 and I have an eight months old daughter. Your family will forever be in my thoughts. Julie congratulations!! I will be thinking of you on your special day. I thank you for your story and reminders to appreciate the time you have with your children. Gen Aug. 2 3:19am
Gen Pettyjohn
largo, Fl USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 02:12 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and Family:

I'm so very sorry about Matthew. Someone told you not to be sad but that is not possible. I'm a born again Christian and know that the loss of a child does not compare to ANY other loss. I hope and pray that you find comfort in God; but I also hope and pray that you, and others, allow the terrible sadness to be felt. There is nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I do know we will be reunited in Heaven with our children.

Love in Christ,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey & St. Gabrielle (caringbridge.com/mn/gabrielles.prayers)
Monica Paquette
Minneapolis, MN - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 10:40 PM (CDT)

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Hey don't be sad. Matt is in the arms of the Lord at this time. I feel for you, I lost my Grandma to it nearly two years ago. Sometimes, I feel I am the one to blame.

Ecc 3 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Eric Glover (Revvy)
Fort Wayne, IN USA - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 07:47 PM (CDT)

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I never spoke to or met Matt, but his story which i discovered today really brought tears to my eyes. I would just like to say to his perants that i really feel for them, yet i could never even imagain the pain that must be going over and over. I have only lost one relitve and that was to cancer, and i still feel the pain today. By seeing the amount of entrys on this guestbook, alot of people feel the same way i do.
Jevon Davies
West Midlands, England, UK - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 06:57 PM (CDT)

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Hi
I never met Zofran or Matt.
But i know of him. It is a big loss for you and all how he touched.
My mother pased away 2 years ago in brain cancer, i can feel the loss. Still today i cry over her grave, as im sad that she never got to know my son. It doesnt hurt as much today as it did..... but it still hurts.
Keep crying it makes it feel better. Also kisses and hugs is a good idea.

[MITNIK].Maddog
Stockholm, Sweden - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 05:36 PM (CDT)

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Although I've never even heard of Matther before, any death is a tragic loss. I wish his family the best.
Sonny Uppal
- Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 04:35 PM (CDT)

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My Condolenses.
Gavin Davidson
Dublin, Ireland - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 12:09 PM (CDT)

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Although we have never met, we have a similar bond. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you all and praying for comfort and peace in these many longs days ahead.

A child is such a special gift.
The family of Jackson Espeseth http://www.caringbridge.com/wi/jacksons.journey
Clear Lake, Wi - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 11:56 AM (CDT)

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Hi. I too know the pain of loosing a loved one. Time will heal some of your pain. GOD has taken Matt under his wing because he is so special. Hang in there
Deedee
bowling green, ky - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 08:05 AM (CDT)

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"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you." -Matthew 5:4 (from The Message translation).

I continue to pray that God will hold you tightly through this time of grieving. Peace be with you!

Judy Blicharz
McLean, VA USA - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 07:19 AM (CDT)

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I didn't know Matthew personally, but his name was common around the forums of the Half-Life gaming community. Upon hearing of his passing, I read the remarkable story of his final months living with the disease. One cannot begin to comprehend the pain of knowing his or her life is to be cut short, but Matt's extraordinary strength and courage during his ordeal is a reminder of how precious life is. Events like these make everyone appreciate what they have in life, and look past what they don't. My deepest sympathies go out to Matthew's family during this difficult time. If they have computers in heaven, I'm sure he's already up there kickin' some butt. GG, Zofran.
Jon "J" Knight
Nutley, NJ USA - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 12:52 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, you and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. May you find the "peace that passes all understanding" in the days ahead. We were all blessed by "knowing" Matthew through your posts.
Take care and God bless,
Margie- mom to Karissa, Anna, WIlliam and wife to Kris (ALL-Kids and Ped-ONC)
WA USA - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 09:19 PM (CDT)

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Debbie - I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of Matthew, you and your whole family tonight. The pain you are feeling, I can't even imagine. Thinking of you.....
Diane Mathis (Mitchell's mom)
now in Durham , North Carolina - Duke University for radiation, - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 09:06 PM (CDT)

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Debbie ~
Your beloved family continues in my heart and in my prayers. Take care.
Sending lots of love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 08:50 PM (CDT)

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dude that made me cry...... i cant even talk..... may god bless you...
Justin McMickens
Homewood, Al USA - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 07:12 PM (CDT)

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My deepest sympathy to you all in this time of sorrow. Someday, somehow, we will beat this bastard we call cancer. Im just sorry it was not soon enough for you. I myself, play Day Of Defeat, and have not had the honor of playing with, or knowing Matthew, but im sure he was a great person. The (17th_Cnd)has Matthew in there prayers tnight.

gg matthew
Rob Symington
Thunder Bay, Ont Canada - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 06:06 PM (CDT)

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Best of luck.
Matt H
- Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 04:49 PM (CDT)

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my thoughts are with you at this sad time.rest in peace young man.
flf uk gamer....
mark lacrouts
nuneaton, uk - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 04:01 PM (CDT)

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I was reading through Matt's good-bye post to the FLF and then found some other posts from Matt. Here is a clip:
"...i fought hard and long, and even when i come to find its my turn to go, im not afraid at all... thank you all for you time..."
Debbie, you did have such a strong and smart boy. Please know that no one will ever forget him. I pray for your family each time I come here.
Lots of love,
A Cyber Friend
- Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 03:36 PM (CDT)

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From one modification community to another, we all feel sorrow in the case that we lost one of our own, once again to many times now...It only helps make us, at a young age of 16-18 realize that how sweet life is, Day of Defeat sends a prayer your way...
John "Fuzz" Shull
Ashburn, VA - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 02:01 PM (CDT)

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I came accross this site for the first time today, and reading the journal entries has brought a tear to my eye, at how cruel and unfair life can be.

My deepest sympathies to everyone who knew Matthew.
M Carter
London, UK - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 01:06 PM (CDT)

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Your son was a brave and courageous young man, and I am sure you are very proud of him. He touched a great number of lives all over the world in such a short period of time. He will be missed by many. My prayers are for you, his family and friends, that you will find comfort in the Lord. I will thank the Lord every time I see my son, and at the same time, shed a tear for yours. Thank-you for sharing your son, Matt/Zofran, with us.
Randy Allen
Abilene, TX USA - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 10:59 AM (CDT)

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Hallemeier's, I dont know what to say other than I am praying for you.

Chris
chrisrusso_@hotmail.com
Gooch's Site
- Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 09:25 AM (CDT)

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Ok, I dont even know who Matthew is. I came across the site echo-7 site, and say matts story. i went to read his last post on the flf boards. the mintues i got the done tears starting pooring. In all honesty I have never talked to matt or know who he played games with, but a fellow gamer fallen to a tragedy like this should make an person cry. My deepest sorrow to his parents and brother. :*(
David Hutchinson
Humble, TX USA - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 04:04 AM (CDT)

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DEAR DEBBIE AND FAMILY,
FIRST OF ALL LET ME TELL YOU ALL THAT I KNOW EXACTLY HOW U FEEL.I SAY THIS WITH AUTHORITY BECAUSE I LOST MY SON BENHUR 5 MONTHS AGO TO LEUKAMIA.HE FOUGHT A SEVEN YEAR BATTLE AND BELIEVE ME HE FOUGHT IT HARD AND COURAGEOUSLY.DEBBIE YOU HAVE THE WONDERFULL HOPE OF SEEING YOUR SON AGAIN IN GODS NEW WORLD.THE BIBLE PROMISES US THIS AND IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING.WE HAVE SEEN OUR CHILDREN SUFFERRING BUT WE WILL SEE THEM HEALTHY ONCE AGAIN.KEEP GOING ON COURAGEOUSLY AND WAIT FOR THAT DAY.MAY GOD GIVE U THE STRENGTH FOR THIS.
REUBEN JOSEPH
ASHDOD, ISRAEL - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 01:17 AM (CDT)

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No worries, Matthew is in a better place. Let it not be a time of sadness and tears but a time of rejoicement for you few getting the chance to know such a great person. He has left this world unto a better place. God bless.
Chris
WA USA - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 12:22 AM (CDT)

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I never knew Matt but i knew of his work in the Half Life community. Thanks for all the fun you brought to us. There's no such thing as Lag or Hackers in heaven buddy.

gg
Big Thexy
Big Thexy (B.K. Milligan)
- Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 11:29 PM (CDT)

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It is so hard to understand when a young person or child is taken away. I cannot imagine what you are going through as parents. I hope I never have to experience it personally. You seem so strong and each day will get stronger. I have been following the story on your site for the last month and keep coming out of habit. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It touches everyone in a special and unique way. Me...to be thankful for motherhood, healthy children, family and a strong faith in God. Continued prayers of healing being sent your way!!
Cheryl
- Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 11:09 PM (CDT)

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I am so so sorry for your loss. May God suround you with His love and bring you strength to endure.
Hugs,
Heather, mom to Brianna (ALL-kids)
www.caringbridge.com/ny/mylittlesunshine
syracuse, ny usa - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 09:33 PM (CDT)

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gg zofran, you will be missed.
jeff aka dawgystyle
new orleans, LA USA - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 09:19 PM (CDT)

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I played flf with Matt/Zof 1 time he said i was preaty good yet he still kick my a$$ im realy sad to see that he had to leave his life so early. I cried when i read the long post he wrote and when i learned of his death i still read over his posts and each time it brings a tear to my eye. We all mill u Matt/Zof. I hope every body will rember Matt.
Brett
Ottawa, On Canada - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 09:05 PM (CDT)

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God is with you always even until the end of the age. We are still praying for you in NE. May God be your comfort and support
The Kalciks
Crete, NE USA - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 08:07 PM (CDT)

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My heart goes out to Matts family,to see someone so young,leave this world befor there time.No more pain bro,just wings and comfort for you now,someday maybe we will meet you again.Until then......
Good Bye Zof you will be missed by many and remembered by all.
Rest in Peace Mate
Matthew Petersen
Odense, Denmark - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 07:43 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbi & Dirk and family,

I have a card in the mail for you and a check sent to Wings Pediatric Hospice Program. That's what Chad wanted to do. I asked him last week down on vacation and he said send it to hospice. I am so sorry and yet so glad he has a new body now and a father in heaven who loves him as much as you all did. Chad had a hard time with the news last week. I was up at 4:30 and restless that night and didn't have a good feeling about things. I couldn't get to a computer so I called home to Illinois on Tuesday night to one of my girlfriends and she told me he earned his angels wings. I cried so hard and just wish I could have been there with you. I told Chad about 10:00 that night na and the first thing he asked me was "When is the funeral"? I told him and let him know that I called Christopher that night. He was so good to me and I tried not to cry. I did pretty good as a matter of fact until I hung up the phone. We hope you are ok and know that in time you will be. We miss you guys and wish we weren't so far away. Take care!

Love-N-Christ,
Chris, Brad, Chad, & Holly McDowell
Christy McDowell
Sidell, IL - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 07:07 PM (CDT)

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im sorry for your loss i have never heard about him but i just heard about what he did for one of the games iu love and i cant believe that a person like that could be lost so quickly.
andy
- Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 06:57 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, I just want to say you are an incredible mom and person. I have a son that has health issues, hopefully not life threating, (he has yet to be diagnosed) and have sometimes I a hard time coping. Your courage, devotion and strength has been my rock and I know that anything is possible. I now know this by learning from you. It is so very unfair that things are the way they are sometimes. We must continue to believe that God has our plan and he will take care of us. Go back to work. Help other people. I know that is what you do. You will forever be in my prayers. May God bless you and your family.
Rene Thompson
Fulton, MO USA - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 04:42 PM (CDT)

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I have just heard about this story, and i have 2 say it touched me more than i thought, at least we have the comfort of knowing u have gone 2 a better place.
Atheer
London, United Kingdom - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 04:27 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, Chris, and Julie,
You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. We can tell from your journal that you're really feeling the loss very intensely. We pray that God surrounds you with his love and comfort.
Al and Mary Heinbokel
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 03:01 PM (CDT)

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As so many others have said, it has become habit to come here each day, and usually more than once a day (but a good habit)!! I continue to pray for all of you each day. I'm sure Debbie it has to be much harder now that everyone has gone home, and Dirk is back at work. Everyone always says the weeks that follow are worse than the immediate time. Take your time as far as going back to work, you will know when the time is right. Thank you so much for including Matt's obitutary. The picture was gorgeous, what a handsome son you have!! I think tears are very healing -- if you keep it all locked up inside, it tends to make it worse (just my opinion). I was very sad to read of Benji's dad's passing. I don't know these folks either, but always read their entries in the guestbook. They seems like very loving people, and very proud of Matthew!! I'm glad that Matthew was there to greet him, and maybe that will help Benji too. Please take care of each other, and just take baby steps through each day. God bless each of you. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 01:47 PM (CDT)

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He was at the heart of the Half life gaming comunity.
Richard Beck
coventry, united kingdom - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 12:43 PM (CDT)

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Farewell Matt , you played a great fucking hand with shitty cards.
And I'm gonna miss you , look in from time to time eh ?

Farewell Brother.

Catch you on the flip side....

Only the good die young
Greg Carson
Whtby, Ontario Canada - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 11:18 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk and family....thank you for sharing Matthew and his life with us. We all have amazing kids, and Matthew was a wonderful example of that. Wishing you peace and comfort in the coming days and weeks.
LeeAnn, Lynn, Brock and Tessa Barnard
Selma, IN USA - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 10:48 AM (CDT)

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gl to all teh relatives and friends of matthew ://
take care :<<
my condoleances :'(
jo0st aka mazor
- Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 09:23 AM (CDT)

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R.I.P Matthew, I am very sorry to hear for the parents that he has past away. I hope the best for Matt's parents; that they'll be able to accept his death and live on. Why? Matthew will be in heaven right now, and we will also greet him in less than 100 years.
Eugene Kim
Seoul, Korea - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 09:15 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, you've been working hard to keep the journal up to date and we appreciate it. I can't imagine the pain of what you are going through, I can't even come close. People say you never get over the loss of a child, maybe time will heal the whole that's left acheing in your heart.
You have loved him for 16 years, and that means you have lots and lots of great memories to tumble through. When my Grandma lost my Grandpa, she made it through with all the pictures of the good ole times and lots of good ole teers!Theres medicine in the tears a mother cries, there truly is.
We'll be praying for your healing. Love, Shannon and Ervin
Shannon Fackler
Winfield, MO USA - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 08:36 AM (CDT)

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I ALMOST GOT THE CHANCE TO PLAY WITH MATTHEW ONLINE...BUT NEVER MADE IT THAT FAR...I WILL REMEMBER HIM IN MY HEART, AND I WILL KEEP LOOKING HERE AT THE UPDATES : )
RICHARD
CLEVELAND, OH - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 08:24 AM (CDT)

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What an overwhelming story...My heart, condolences, love, and tears to the family that has had to deal with so much. He is a hero to be remembered, and a gamer with a good heart. Good luck to you all, and Matthew, I don't know who you are, but you must have been a wonderful kid for your parents, and everyone in the gaming community, your hometown, and the whole U.S. will remember you =] Live long, and Prosper. Thank you...
Rick
Dayton, OH United States of America - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 08:19 AM (CDT)

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I've never heard of Matthew until today. I saw an forum post about him at sogamed.com and the forum thread at FLF. I've read almost everything about this. Right now it feels like I have an big lump in my throat. I got very thouched by this story.

All I want to say is Rest in peace Matthew and I which your family all the best!

best regards,

barefoot_kid
Stockholm, Sweden - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 07:58 AM (CDT)

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While I was visiting the website for Tour Of Duty the mod I beta test for for Half-Life,it had a link to these sites.Its toward the bottom on the front page at tourofdutymod.com.I am so sorry to hear about Matt.What you wrote was very touching,and what he wrote was also.I was crying the whole time.I knew Matt a little.I had seen him in a few mod forums.He seemed like a great guy.But think of it this way,he may have lost the battle to cancer,but he won the war by going to heaven.He is probably watching over you right now,and he is in no pain,and is very happy,but is with you all the time.I am praying for you nice family.
Christopher Michael Bennett
Bradenton, Florida United States - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 07:54 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
Thank you for continuing to update your website; although it must be hard to put feelings into words, journaling is one of the best ways to 'work through' this deeply emotional time. And of course, tears help too. I was glad to see that you call them 'healing tears'. I am reminded that Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died. Our Lord didn't hold back this naturally human response to separation. My pastor likes to call them 'love tears', they are a reminder of how much you love Matthew. May God give peace to your heart...
Judy Blicharz
McLean, VA USA - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 07:13 AM (CDT)

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While searching the net for information on computer gaming and I found a reference about the passing of your son posted by a computer gamer. I have two teenage sons (15 and 17). Your journal is inspiring and touching and your son was very fortunate to have you and your family on this earth.

May I suggest you give his computer to a local boy that needs to find the world of gaming to fill in his lonely and troubled hours.

Peace

Fellow Gamer
Vancouver, WA 98686 - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 03:18 AM (CDT)

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Thank you so much for sharing your story.Your Matt was a special boy.And how brave he was throughout his illness.I have a brother with leukemia so i know what a daunting struggle it can be.I shed a lot of tears reading about Matt.Thank God he is now at peace....Kim
kimberly
- Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 02:38 AM (CDT)

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~*~*Dear Hallemeier Family*~*~
I can't believe Benji's dad passed away!! That is sooo sad. Well hey now Matt and Ronnie can be together, Matt has someone to keep him company while they both are in a beautiful new world together where happiness is. I'm sure it will be hard to get Matt's headstone. 8( Just hang in there, keep your heads up and remember Matt is smiling down upon all of you!!!!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*
Danielle Rampani
Bridgeton, MO USA - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 01:37 AM (CDT)

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GOD is with you , all the time.
Seek his peace!

Jeff Wriker
Enid, OK USA - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 12:01 AM (CDT)

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Im sorry to say that i didnt even know Matthew, but his story has touched me deeply.
I send my deepest regrets to his family, friends and wellwishers

I only wish there was something else i could do besides posting in a guestbook

Take care of yourselves, and find comfort in the fact that matthew has gone to a better place
Dave Storie
Markham , ON Canada - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 11:16 PM (CDT)

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Im sorry to say that i didnt even know Matthew, but his story has touched me deeply.
I send my deepest regrets to his family, friends and wellwishers

I only wish there was something else i could do besides posting in a guestbook

Take care of yourselves, and find comfort in the fact that matthew has gone to a better place
Dave Storie
Markham , ON Canada - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 11:12 PM (CDT)

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I never knew him,
but my opinion is to miss him is only
selfish, HE is the one in a better
place =)

take good care
Mark
montreal, qc canada - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 10:12 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family - just dropped in to say hi. You wrote a beautiful obituary for Matthew, and chose a very nice picture of him too. So handsome ! I still wish I could've had the privelege of meeting him. I think about him and you guys all the time. Bye for now.
Shannon
Vancouver, - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 07:29 PM (CDT)

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Dear folks, It's become a habit, checking in here every day to see how you are doing. I miss Matt, even though I've never had the chance to meet him. I also miss hearing about the rest of the family. I hope you are coping as well as you have all along. I'm so grateful I had the chance to become acquainted with all of you. I do hear about everyone at Christmas when I get aunt Hazel's Christmas card, but I feel now like I know you personally. Anyhow, I want you to know how much I admire all of you, and I'm amazed how Matt has touched people all over the world!! That's really something! If you ever come to California, be sure to stop by! I'm still working on the family tree, and later on would like to get in touch with you. I'll send a copy when it's finished. Love and Best Wishes, your Calif. cousin, Barb (Fackler) Cary
Barbara Cary
Bellflower, CA USA - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 05:40 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family:
I may not know you personally, but after stumbling upon this page accidently I feel true emotion for your family. I am 16 years old and I too have lost a loved one (my father) to cancer. I will not pretend to know what you all are feeling now, but please know that mine and my family's prayers are with every one of you.
Beth
Pittsburgh, PA - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 05:27 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier family ~
You are still in our hearts and in our prayers. Thank you for posting Matthew's obituary. I am still floored by the number of people Matthew has influenced from all over the world. He was truly such a very special young man to so many people! He will never, ever be forgotten.
Sending lots of love ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 03:25 PM (CDT)

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I just wanted to sign your guestbook to let you know that even though I may not know you personally that your family is in my thoughts and prayers ... I am so very sorry that you are going through such a tragic loss ... I am a mother of two boys (Ryan age 9 and Zachary age 3 1/2) and I can't bear to imagine going through the kind of pain that your family have had to endure ... I wish your family healing and love ... and I am sure that your son, Matthew, is watching over all of your family and that you will all be reunited one day ... I truely hope that one day very soon that there is a cure to the terrible diseases that no child should ever have to endure ... Peace and Love to you and your family ... Blessed Be!!!

~ Gwenni ~
Gwen L. Fulton (friend of Holly's who sent me to this site)
Altoona, WI USA - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 01:36 PM (CDT)

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I've only just heard Matthews story, and it touched me deeply. I cannot imagine the grief you must be feeling right now. I'm not very good with words in these situations, but all I can say is that my heart and prayers are with you.
Guy Heath
Nottingham, England - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 01:17 PM (CDT)

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I know nothing that I can say will make your grief easier to bear. Yesterday in church I said a prayer for Matthew's safe arrival, and for your family remaining here on earth.

From reading the other guestbook entries, I can assure you that Matthew will be remembered for the joy with which he lived his life and the joy he brought to others ... not for the way he died. In my opinion, that's an amazing achievement.

May God's peace find you ...


Justine Germaine
Madison, WI USA - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 09:58 AM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family,

My thoughts are now with you. Knowing that Matt will no longer feel any of the pain that he must have felt day to day is somewhat releiving.

My hope now is that the pain of losing someone for the family is followed by a celebration of his life. And that Matt is remembered not for having died at a young age due to a fight with cancer, but for being an incredible human being who touched soo many peoples lives in more ways that even he could ever know.

With all my sincerity, take care.

Adam Lake
Toronto, ON Canada - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 07:29 AM (CDT)

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Just checking in this Monday morning to say, I hope you had a restful weekend and are renewed in strength. Peace,

Judy Blicharz
McLean, VA USA - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 07:23 AM (CDT)

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I don't know what to say. I'm a avid gamer who read a few fourm posts, and I believe Matt AKA Zofran deserves my respect.
Cory Ferguson
Red Deer, AB Canada - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 06:42 AM (CDT)

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I don't think there is anything I can say that hasn't been said already, but I will try. I am 15 years old, and I didn't even know Matt, but reading about his life touched me. Few things make me cry, and this is one of those things. Words will never be enough to describe how much sorrow I feel. Before tonight I had never heard of Matt, or anything to do with him. Now I have read some of his story, and my life has been influenced by it. Thank you for telling the story, so that people like me can read it and be humbled about how lucky some of us are. My condolences go out to his friends and family, and I wish Matt happiness, whevever he is right now...
With deepest sincerity,
Daxten Reiter
Canon City, CO U.S.A. - Monday, July 29, 2002 at 01:16 AM (CDT)

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I didnt know matt but im 30 yrs old sitting here on the net reading this sad ordeal this young guy just went through im sure he was a very fine young man and a Good gamer Too from what all the stuff the online friends had to say bout him . im a quake 3 and quake 2 man myself most all the regulars in these games you play online you meet turn out to be pretty good ole guys and girls :) and well im sure you son was a fine young man and im sorry to hear about that . :(
best of wishes to you all .
Charles McCroskey
Peterstown, WV USA - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 11:21 PM (CDT)

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This poem was once given to me, and since I'm not good with words hopefully this can express a little bit of the emotion that goes on when I think of Matt:
My friend, I need you now-
Please take me by the hand.
Stand by me in my hour of need,
Take time to understand.
Take my hand, dear friend,
And lead me from this place.
Chase away my doubts and fears,
Wipe the tears from off my face.
Friend, I cannot stand alone.
I need your hand to hold,
The warmth of your gentle touch
In my world that's grown so cold.
Please be a friend to me
And hold me day by day.
Because with your loving hand in mine,
I know we'll find the way.

Matt---you are greatly loved and missed among anyone who every met you. You are an inspiration to many, most of which you do not know you have touched. See you soon buddy.

Your buddy,
Jessie Wente
Jessie Wente
St. Louis, MO United States - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 09:20 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family...
I am sincerely sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this very sad time. No words can express my sorrow... I'm very sorry.
Jen Moore
San Diego, CA USA - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 08:44 PM (CDT)

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I've been reading your website and it brought tears to my eyes,only played with Matthew once but he seemed a great lad.Having lost my sister a year ago so suddenly,im sure you will be grateful of the time you had to say your goodbyes,thats something i never had the chance to do.Just remember he's now pain free and that he's with the angels.
RIP ZOF

Donna Jarvis
Manchester, UK England - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 05:52 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, and family,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We are so sorry for your loss of Matthew. We know he is now in a better place, happy and pain free.

Your neighbors,
Mary, Gary, Alex, and Tyler Adelman
Gary and Mary Adelman
Dardenne Prairie, MO USA - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 02:09 PM (CDT)

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We will miss you Matt.
I too know how hard this is and by reading the journal, it's brought back many bad memories for me that I've locked away in the back of my head. My sister was diagnosed with Leukemia before her 1st birthday, I was 4 years old and had no idea what was going on. Memories of Lumbar Punctures, weeks spent in clinics and months in holpitals came back to realization. My sister's condition just kept on becoming worse over time. During my 5th grade I became the donor for my sister's bone marrow transplant. Luckily, my sister is now 19, but as a result to years of treatment she suffers from many complications. In the end we are so happy she pulled through but in many cases such as Zof, its not the same situation.
I guess the point im trying to make is that its one thing to mourn and another to mourn and make a difference. The battle with cancer cannot be taken on alone... support hospital fundraising, telethons.. whatever.... make a difference. Maybe through the death of our friend we can all learn something, and become better people because of it.
My deepest sympathies go out to family, friends of Matt, and anyone else who's lost someone due to cancer.
----------------------------------------------------------
X amount of time cannot prepare you for the inevitable,
Live your life now and don't look back.
Rob
Montreal, Qc Canada - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 01:46 PM (CDT)

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I only played Front Line Force a couple of times, and never with/against "Zofran", but I certainly can empathize the hurt you have gone through as a result of his long fading away from cancer. I lost my father from cancer on Fathers Day, 1999, and I, too, had to watch him slowly die over a period of a year. You have all my thoughts and prayers, and the thoughts and prayers from the Mayberrygames community, as well. There is actually a post on the Mayberrygames forum that refers people to this site.
Brant "Mother Fragger" Wise
Charlotte, NC USA - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 12:22 PM (CDT)

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It's a tradegy parents should outlive a son. I only heard of Matt through FrontLine Force game, but I am sorry.
Alex
- Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 11:42 AM (CDT)

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I didnt know matt atall, i was brought to the attention of this website through a fellow gamers page, id just like to send may my regards out to his family and friends and may young matt rest in piece. It is a very emotional but nice website and I hope that it will always be here for people to look upon hope.
Greg
Scotland - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 06:57 AM (CDT)

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even if i didnt know rip matt and may the Master builder guide your path
lucien alberts
venlo, limburg netherlands - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 03:47 AM (CDT)

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I am sorry for all of the pain that you went through.
David Brewer
Modesto, CA United States - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 02:25 AM (CDT)

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RIP Matt. I didnt know Matt in any way. I was brought to the attention of this site by a friend. The story I read brought tears to my eyes. The pain he endured i cannot imagine. He is a hero in my eyes. My deepest sympathies go his family and friends. May you rest in peace Matthew
Patrick Bragg
Mandeville, LA - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 12:11 AM (CDT)

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Debbie & Dirk,
I just wanted to take the time to tell both you and Dirk what amazing people you are. In the midst of a very troublesome time in your lives you took time out of virtually everyday to inform us all on Matthews condition. It was quite a journey we were all on..I'm just so thankful that the Lord took Matthew into his arms and he is now peaceful. Matthew was so blessed to have such a wonderful family. Thank You again, and I must say...I am merely a stranger to you but you have no idea how close I have felt to you all through these journal entries. May the peace of the Lord be with you all. God Bless
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens
Sullivan, IL - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 11:43 PM (CDT)

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Although i only saw him through games, i feel like the online world is at a loss as well. no death is easy going, and its a shock tha one day soomeone you know is gone. my sympathies go to your family. it was just over a year ago that i almost lost my dad to a brain blood clot, but that is nothing compared to your story.

we will all see him later on in life
Jared Y.
pulaski, wi usa - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 10:34 PM (CDT)

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You are still in our thoughts and prayers. It is natural to turn to this website several times a day to check on you. If you need anything, please call. Also, if you want to get away for a day, you are welcome to come to Rolla. We love you! Kim, Brian, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke
Rolla, MO - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 09:48 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and family- I am so sorry. You have been wonderful keeping us all updated with everything that has happened. You are truely an amazing mother/wife/friend/woman. I hope we will be able to meet in person one day Debbie.
Diane Mathis (Mitchell's mom)
Boynton Beach, FL - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 08:39 PM (CDT)

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I didn't know Matt personally, but I sure wish I did. I give my best wished to his family, and all those who loved him. As a gamer myself, I feel he was family. And I cry, celebrating his life. May his soul rest with the knowing that many people from around the world care deeply for him.

Robbie "Fleshmaker' Coker
Upland, CA USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 07:32 PM (CDT)

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not sure what to say other than I'm sorry for your loss. I happened upon these links from the FLF page and not knowing the boy, I grieve for his passing also.
Mike C.
everett, wa USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 05:23 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Hallemeier Family ~
Thank you for sharing another day with us here on Matthew's webpage. Matthew's spirit continues to touch and inspire so many people from around the world - it's incredible. Our thoughts and prayers continue for your precious family. Take care.
Love, Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:34 PM (CDT)

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Although I did not know Matthew,I feel very sorry for your loss.I hope he will be happy with God.After reading all this,I am very sad.

Goodbye Matt.:-(
Max
New York City, NY USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:06 PM (CDT)

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I am very sorry for your loss, the effort you have put into this site shows how great a family you have. It is apparent how much his passing has affected friends, family, and his online friends in the gaming world. Peace, and god bless.
Paul "Nattydread" Ryder
Boston, MA USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 11:08 AM (CDT)

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Really.. I've never known Matt personally, nor spoke with him, but after reading the journal of his events, I was choking up, I had to go do something else to get my mind off of it. It's really horrible when someone, even though you may never have spoken to him or her, it touches you when a community of people come together to remember one person. Julie, Dirk, Debbie, and Christopher Hallemeier, and anyone else close to Matt, may you be strong in these times.
Frank
- Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 10:34 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie and Chris-I wanted to let you know that I thought the services on Thursday were very inspiring and that you are a wonderful family that dealt with the last two and a half years with great love and caring. Many people never have the chance to touch the hearts of so many, as Matt did. As I listened to Pastor Arle's numeration of messages that you received, I had to believe that so many people being touched by Matt's struggle will ultimately result in a multitude of good acts in people's lives. What a wonderful legacy. Much love to you, Debbie and Ted Kuegele
Ted Kuegele
St. Charles, MO USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 09:51 AM (CDT)

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May his soul rest in peace. God has a plan, it doesn't always seem fair or nice, but it's there.
o_O
- Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 09:21 AM (CDT)

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I don't know you guys but I heard what happened. I feel very sad and my thoughts go out to you guys and his family.

I hope everything goes well for you guys in the future.
Kyle Wolfson
Yorktown, VA United States - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 09:14 AM (CDT)

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I never knew matt, i never played flf either, but when i saw what he went through on the flf forum, it touched me, and im sure everyone who never knew him and did know him will remember him...
PhAt_GhOsT
Canvey, Essex England - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 07:26 AM (CDT)

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I knew Matt through the early days of Frontline Force, and unfortunately I played only a small part of that community until recently - I mourn matt as a friend and as a true hero, I will never forget his endless humor and his selfless nature. My thoughts are with you.
Ben 'Kaine' Feldtman
Drysdale, VIC Australia - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 06:33 AM (CDT)

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I am at a loss of words. You are all in my prayers. I pray that God will give you strength and comfort now and in the months and years ahead.
Cindy Coffman
Cumming, GA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 05:28 AM (CDT)

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Hello I didnt know Matt and i am sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose a loved one. The way i thought of it when i lost my grandmother to cancer was at least she isnt suffering anymore. What i think of my grandma is she might not see her anymore but still a part of her is inside me and ill never be away from her and i know she is watching over me. So I hope your family can get through this tragic time and remember the good times you had with your son while he was with you.
Thomas "Metro-Tek" Ciccarelli
------------------------, FL ------------------ - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 03:07 AM (CDT)

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<>*<>*Hallemeier Famil*<>*<>
Well I hope everything is going a little better. You all seem to be staying strong, just hang in there I can't gurantee you that all the pain will go away but i can promise it will get better. I'm sure things are rough now but God is with you ever minute of the day and so is Matt. I bet you Matt is smiling down upon you this very second. I can see him up in heaven with this BIG, BRIGHT, smile on his face. Matt is so happy right now, I can feel it. Just hang in there guys and be strong. Matt wants to see you guys happy and smiling, so keep your heads up. My prayers are still with you. 8)

With Love,
Danielle Rampani~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Danielle Rampani
Bridgeton, MO USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 01:37 AM (CDT)

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I just came here to pay my respects, when i heard the new that zof/matt passed away i almost broke down in tears, zof was one of my closest friends. This has been a devastating loss to the Frontline Force community as he helped to make FLF what it is today, he will be missed.

Tekk,
Dennis "TekkBlade" Gonzales
Toronto, ON Canada - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 01:28 AM (CDT)

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In a time like this, there are no word that someone can say to make it better. I never met Matt. I wish I had. My daughter has Leukemia too. (ALL Pre-b) The same as Matt. It scares me so much. I cried so much when I found out he had passed away that I could not see to read. I would give my life for the cure to this horrid disease. I too hate it with all my being!!!!!! My little girl is only 6, so her chances are better, but it still scares the hell out of me. Forgive me for telling you about Jordan but I don't know what to say. I will always remember Matt. ---Jim---
James R. Reid III
Largo, FL u - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 01:16 AM (CDT)

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someone told me to go to this.. i didnt think much until i read his last post and all that followed.. Its very sad what happened , i never got the chance to meet him. well, just paying my respects to him and his family.
Mg
usa - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:53 AM (CDT)

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I have no idea who you are. But i know TEATIME.. i was in =CT= cs clan, the members of ct created TT, and wow this is so sad.. sorry it had to end so bad for you... and sorry to your family..
RC|punisha`DoG
- Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:47 AM (CDT)

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I never met nor had the opportunity to speak with matt, but after seeing the impact that he has had on so many people i feel obligated to pay my respects. Its very rare to see somoene who is facing such hard times to be so understanding of what is to come. God has a purpose for everyone, Matthew has serverd his purpose and his time has passed. God bless his family and his friends, long live his memory.
Brandon Jenkins ( RC|Halcyon )
Fort Worth, TX USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:43 AM (CDT)

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Hi, Im just another cs player who was randomly given the link to read this. I simply expected another immature post by some child to pop up. But when the page came on, I decided to further read. I wish I could give enough sympathy to the family and friends of Matt, but there are no words that I can say that would do the job well enough. I didnt know Matt, or even play the same game as him. But the one thing goes for all of us gamers, we stick together. Sure, we have rivals, but to hear that one of our own has passed on, it hurts. We all know he is in a better place now though. Where he never loses a match ;) My sympathy goes out to everyone, especially Matt's very family. He sounds like a very respectable young man, who simply served his time on Earth. God realized the job he had done, and granted him a pass to move on to a better place. That faith, and only that faith is the way we move on, knowing that everything happens for a reason. Have faith, it will never fail you.
Steven R. Roudebush II
Laurel, MD United States - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:32 AM (CDT)

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I did not know Matt, but I know people who did. When I heard of his situation a few months ago, it hurt me. Now it hurts more. My condolences to his family, firends. I have preprared phrase that I hope will help ease the pain of loss.
»Let the tears be shed, here on earth. Let the pain be felt, by those he left. Let the mourning be heard throughout the land. For, in the next life, shall there be no pain, no hurt, no sorrow. Only eternal joy, love, and happiness. Wheep now, so when your time comes, you will be ever more happy. Forever, and ever.«
May Matt Hall, a.k.a. zofran, R.I.P.
Raymond Moreau (VoodooDoll)
LA USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:25 AM (CDT)

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I never had the priviledge of knowing Matthew, but I've been so touched by these entries and the journey he endured, so I'm paying my respects. Thank you Matthew Hallemeier, rest well and enjoy the view.
Ryan Thorkelson
Winnipeg, MB Canada - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:14 AM (CDT)

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I dont know him.. i dont know any of you.. but death is a thing that happens to us all.. its sad when u hear about a kid dieing.. he had a life to live.. but his time came.. i play CS which is a mod of hl.. he played a differnet mod.. but the fact that he was a gamer wants me 2 post more.. may his sould be peacefully rested..

I hope if i was to die.. all would right in my forum.. God Bless all
Daniel Weber
Laurel, Md USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:13 AM (CDT)

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(From a complete stranger)...I never knew Matthew or talked to him whatsoever, but I always heard about him playing FLF (Front Line Force) and was very touched by all the posts from and to him on the FLF message board. People who never even knew this human being at all were deeply affected by the news of his battle against an enemy that no person can ultimately overcome. I am one such person and I wish you all, and Matthew (Zofran) the very best. I am sure he is in a good place now. Take care and God bless.
Colin Barnowe
Portland, OR USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:11 AM (CDT)

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Unfortunately, I didn't know Matthew very well. But, I must say he was a great kid, full of energy and always smiling. He was always positive, no matter what the situation was. Although he is no longer physically here with us, his spirit will always be in our hearts. Rest in peace, my friend.
Patrick Wheeler
Maryland Heights, MO USA - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 12:05 AM (CDT)

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I knew Matt from the nieghborhood and the middle school bus. I didn't know him extremely well, but I do remember how he always seemed energetic and happy, always making people laugh. He was a nice kid, and I remember one particular time he stood up for a kid on the bus. Everyone respected that, and backed off the kid. Matt touched people from all over the world. Although he is no longer here physically, he will live long and vibrantly in the hearts of those who knew and loved him. You are all in my thoughts. Matt is smiling down on us tonight.
Jessy Mierkowski
Bridgeton, MO - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 11:01 PM (CDT)

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The funeral service sounded beautiful. I'm glad that your family was pleased. Please know, that all those who were previously praying for Matthew, are now praying for your family as you are grieving. I pray that you all will find peace and comfort in God's arms. May God Bless you!
Sheryl Clubb
Eureka, MO USA - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 10:53 PM (CDT)

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I never knew you but I was saddened to hear your story. It made me cry. No one that young should go through what you went through.

Goodbye and Have fun in heaven

from, Australian Gamers
Andrew Young
Sydney, NSW Australia - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 09:30 PM (CDT)

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Please accept my deepest condolences, Matt will truly be missed and will always be remembered. Stay strong, best wishes. Onions
Jamie "Onions" Robertson
Lossiemouth, Moray Scotland - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 08:46 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I've been keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. All day yesterday, I was thinking of you and Matthew and how much you all have been through together. I am so happy he is finally free of pain and at peace, but I know you must miss him so much.
Kristin Daly (Conor Killen's mom from ALL kids)
St. Louis, MO 63112 - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 08:43 PM (CDT)

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A truly great loss to the community. Fragging on in heaven for all those grateful FLF players.
R.I.P.
Gwil
Derby, N/A UK - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 07:27 PM (CDT)

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hi debbie , well i went to work today and it seemed so strange. without wondering how matt was doing i know how he is doing . great to say the least .!! we are still praying for you and your family. we will stay in touch, love and prayers . Ron Millie Benji.
Ron Revelle
Bridgeton, Mo U S A - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 06:41 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, and Christopher:

It is written: "He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: but they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:29-31)

We pray: Dear Father, comfort Dirk, Debbie, Julie, & Christopher as they mourn the death of Matthew. Give them power. Increase and renew their strength. Cause them to mount up with wings as eagles. Cause them to run and not be weary. Cause them to walk and not faint. Direct their eyes to Jesus. May they draw strength from Your words. Have compassion upon them. Help them. Heal their broken hearts. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

I join many others in praying for you. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

Carl Mohme
Florissant, MO USA - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 06:04 PM (CDT)

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Dear Family,
I really don't know what to say, but my prayers are with you. I did not know him personally, one of my forum members posted a tribute to your son and I read the journal and I just felt like I knew him too.

I just want to let you know that if you need anything, I mean anything to let me know, Billabong089@comcast.net or Billabong089@vginsider.com, If I could add anything to my site; a banner, link , offer hosting services, please let me know, I would really like to do something. Well my site can be reached at VGinsider.com, or WorthlessGaming.com :(

Sorry for your loss.
Ed- VGinsider Admin
Brick, NJ 08724 - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 05:28 PM (CDT)

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Family and Friends,

My prayers are with you. Matthew will be greatly missed, not only by those who knew and loved him, but by those of us who never had the privilage of meeting him.

GG Matt, I hope you enjoy yourself at that big LAN party in the sky. Frag in Peace. :)

www.echo-7.net - my tribute.
Gabe Nelson - Omnicron
Boston, MA USA - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 04:26 PM (CDT)

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Dear Family,
I just wanted you to know that I continue to pray for you all each day. When I read your entry from Thursday, I just sat with tears rolling down my face. I felt like I was there for the service, which I wish I could have been. I would have given anything to pay my respects to Matthew. He became such a HERO to me, and will continue to be my HERO for the rest of my life. He taught me what is important in life and how to live each day. I hope that I can pass this on to my kids. If my kids turn out to be half the person that Matt was, I will feel as if I have done a great job. What a wonderful young man you raised, you have to be so proud. I know that the coming days are going to be very rough, but all these people will be here, still saying prayers. Remember to lean on God also, because he is always there for us, and now He has an extra special angel right there with him. I pray for comfort and strength for all of you. God's blessings. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson
Ottawa, IL - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 04:10 PM (CDT)

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Julie and Family,

I'm so sorry to hear about Matthew. Sherry had been keeping me updated regarding his leukemia. You've been in my prayers for a while now and will continue to be as you move through this tough time. May God bless you and your family and just know that you now have an angel to watch over you at all times.
Kelly Costello (Sherry's sister)
Fairview Heights, IL 62208 - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 03:27 PM (CDT)

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Still thinking about your family and praying every day. Matthew was a special guy here, and even more special now that he gets to watch over you. He has become a part of all of us.
Karin, mom to Christine
Berea, Ohio USA - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 02:55 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Julie and Christopher,

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and I pray for your peace and comfort in the days ahead. The many kind words of sympathy written here are a testament to the spirit of Matthew. He has touched so many people all over the world, and will not be forgotten. I pray those thoughts will help ease your pain.

God bless you,


Lisa Tignor, mom to Brian and Kevin
Dumfries, VA USA - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 02:53 PM (CDT)

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er..i just found out about zof's passing about 10 minutes ago and..it's been pretty hard. I was in t2c with him for at least 6 months..and got real close to him (this was about a year ago) during that time..he was a great friend/clan mate during that time..and i knew he was sick..but i never knew it was serious (he never really..talked about it)..

it's sad to see him go and this is hitting me pretty hard right now because..we were good friends for so long..
Mark Maranelli (aka lonely`)
Woodhaven, MI USA - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 02:51 PM (CDT)

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I am shocked, I read all of the Journal history. I almost felt a tear, and a huge, dark cloud is in my heart, but this cloud seems to be killed by the good words I have seen about Matthall. Thus I wasn't around him, I know how it feels. My father just had cancer, but, so far he came over it. It was horrible 4 weeks around the operation. (He got his bladder removed) There, my tear has almost passed my chin...

BTW, I just thought about something,.. how many ppl are haveing HIV/AIDS/Cancer... This world is far from perfect! But our world is still a beautiful place to be. Who knows, maby Matthall is having better then us!
I think Zofran is suffering harder then ppl let behind, prays goes to Matthall and his family!

R.I.P Matthall!
DrRex
Copenhagen, Denmark - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 01:52 PM (CDT)

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Reading this log was very hard, I lost a very good friend to cancer and I can feel your grief and pain, it's so hard to take. I still think about him and this page just reminds me how precious life is. I didn't know your son but your comments moved me and also reminded me of my friend John. He was just like your son, strong, courageous and never gave up the fight. It started out as something seemingly innocuous (a lump on the knee) and ended up totally taking over his body, every avenue of treatment was taken and exhausted, nothing seemed to stem the tide of new problems. I just felt helpless... and went to pieces... :(

He was so strong as were his family, I felt bad for feeling sorry for him when he never even dreamed of feeling sorry for himself. Both my friend john and your son shared many qualities it would seem (from your descriptions in the log) and I'm trully sorry he didn't manage to win his battle for life. I feel humble after being in contact or even reading about people such as your son. Take care.
Mark
- Friday, July 26, 2002 at 12:28 PM (CDT)

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I didn't know "zofran" personally.. i didn't know him at all.. i heard about his death when i downloaded the FLF mod.. and even though i didn't know him, it moved me..
when i read all the things he had done, i felt sorrow and anger (yes, anger), it is not right that a boy/man of his age, and intelligence dies at this time.. my hopes, prayers, and sympathy goes to his family, friends and relatives..
No one like him should die..

I'm so sorry... it's all I can say.. don't know enough english to tell you more about my feelings..

Sirely,
Shepuz'Da, one of those who didn't have the change to know him.
Shepuz'Da (J-P J)
Kuusamo, Oulu Finland - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 11:07 AM (CDT)

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Dirk,

It was with great sadness that I learned of Matthew passing away. I can't imagine anything more painful and difficult than losing a child. Matthew must have been one strong and fine young man to put up the fight that he did. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers that God will provide you the strength and peace of heart necessary to deal with your tremendous loss.
Michael Cary
Harleysville, PA USA - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 10:19 AM (CDT)

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As I read Matt's webpage these last few days...it brings back so many memories of James. Just know we are keeping you and your family close to our hearts.

Blessings,

Bonnie, grandma to ^i^ James www.caringbridge.com/page/jamiebowman
Columbus, Ohio - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 09:51 AM (CDT)

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Matt touched the lives and hearts of thousands of people. He will not be forgotten.
Toby Rees
Birmingham, UK - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 09:18 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,

Wanted to let you know that last night I lit a candle for Matthew at the National Cathedral in Washington, DC. The weather was beautiful and the stained glassed windows looked spectacular as the light streamed through the windows. It was Matthew's night.
Colleen
Herndon, VA - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 08:32 AM (CDT)

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Thank you so much for sharing Matthews life with us. It has been such a long and hard journey for your family. I will continue to remember you in my prayers. The funeral sounds like it was a wonderful way of showing your love for Matthew. He will be greatly missed by all of us. I never knew Mattthew or family, but I feel like I do. God Bless to you and the extended family.

www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore
Anita
Sikeston, MO - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 08:25 AM (CDT)

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I can never read your journal without crying. After I cry, I think to myself, how amazing you are and how eloquently you've shared your life w/us. Last night as I was laying in my kids rooms w/them for a bit, I couldn't help but think of Matthew. I didn't know him but I became very fond of him and it hurts me deeply that he had to suffer as he did. I'm so sorry for your loss, I pray that God will give you and your family the strength to go on. Matthew is no longer suffering, I'm sure he's smiling down on you loving you as he always has, but now it's w/out the pain. Again, thank you for sharing your life w/all of us. Your son has made a huge impact on me.
Mary Lou S. Harney
Ellington, CT US - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 08:21 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Hallemeier Family,
The funeral service must have been a beautiful celebration of Matthew's life. I wish I could have been there. I am so grateful that you were surrounded by many family and friends, and friends of friends. I am in awe at how many lives Matthew touched (especially as I scan the journal entries from around the globe!). And even though I have never personally met Matthew & you all, I want you to know that I grieve with you, that I am touched deeply, and that I look forward to meeting you some day where we can rejoice with Matthew together forever. Debbie, thank you for sharing the Broken Chain poem. It gives me comfort too.

With many prayers for a peaceful night's rest,
Judy Blicharz
McLean, VA USA - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 07:20 AM (CDT)

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.. Every funeral just makes us realize that life's but a series of goodbyes ..

GG Matt, Rest in Peace
khzl
helsinki, finland - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 07:04 AM (CDT)

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Well I´m sure that u are in a better place right now. So I just had to say thx 4 all the things that u give it to me and all the players. I want to say to your family to be strong and one more time...Gracias!
Chiki
Buenos Aires, Argentina - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 05:26 AM (CDT)

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Your journal is monument to your strength and courage, and most of all to the love you had for Matthew. I know you will find the strength to move forward and carry on.
I never met Matthew, I had only read some of his last posts, from the FLF forums, and it saddened me, to hear what he was going through. But today it completely breaks my heart to find out he lost his fight to cancer. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Matthew, your memory and spirit
will live forever in our hearts.

Gustavo Sanchez - 69mach1
Tijuana, B.C. Mexico - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 04:55 AM (CDT)

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I never knew you buddy, and i never played flf, but i'm a wolf player and my heart goes out to you, no one should die that young :'(

but gl where ever you are : )
Sif=RoK=
- Friday, July 26, 2002 at 04:43 AM (CDT)

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Sounds like a beautiful memorial service for Matthew that you had today. I wish I could have been there. Even though I never met Matthew, it sure seems like I know him well ! Hopefully we will get to meet someday. =)
Shannon
Vancouver, BC Canada - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 02:48 AM (CDT)

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ive never met him, but i played FLF. i played with him on internet servers, and he was a teammate of a friend of mine. Ive seen him play often. the whole mood around of alot of the gaming community recognizes him and his accomplishments.


respect. proper.
Shozo
- Friday, July 26, 2002 at 02:39 AM (CDT)

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I never knew matthew but ive been playing a video game he has played for a while and has become very well know on it. I looked in the site and found that they dedicate Front Line Force to him. I read through your site and cried through much of it and although i did not know him my best wishes go with him and his family. I really regret not knowing him.
Justin Francis
Pittsburgh , PA United States - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 02:16 AM (CDT)

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Even though I did not know Matthew, from reading the various journal entries and such, I believe he was a great person. I can only hope that whatever physical woes he had will not follow him, and he can finally rest in peace.

May God be with you Matthew...we'll all miss you.
Brett Burr
Neptune City, NJ USA - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 01:25 AM (CDT)

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I didn't know Matt personally, but he's the bravest guy I'll ever would have know. Even though he lost the war, he fought the good fight, and thats what counts. He got to say his good byes, and will be missed sincerely by all. Peace be with you, mon ami
Emrah
- Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 10:50 PM (CDT)

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I never even new mat until today. I Came across the link in a forum on line. After reading about him and his fight I felt like crying. I didn't even know him, but I felt his pain. RIP. My prayers go out to Matt and his family.

John
San Mateo, CA US - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 10:25 PM (CDT)

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I never knew him, never even knew he exhisted until today, but someone who came to this page gave me a link and asked me to look at it, and i find it incredibly saddenening that youth and life were stolen away by lukemia before he even had a chance at the future. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope that your greif does not go unnoticed.
Sarai Elvira
- Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 10:12 PM (CDT)

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To Matthew's family and friends, My heart goes out to all of you. I never knew Matthew, but by reading his journal, I have come to "know" a truly remarkable young man. You were blessed with his life and he was blessed with all of you. Matthew's life touched so many of us and we will be forever greatful for his strength, courage, and love. God Bless Matthew and all who had the honor of knowing him.
Cynthia D. Burkett
Lockport`, ny usa - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 10:07 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family-

I lit a candle at 10 am today... wanted to be with you all in spirit as you said goodbye to Matthew. I wish my arms were long enough to reach all the way to Missouri, but I am holding you all so close in my heart. Sending so much love and healing thoughts to all of you.
Annie Thomas
Gainesville, FL - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 09:59 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, Christopher and Julie,
I am so sorry for all you have been through in these last few weeks. I have been reading of Matthew's problems and passing in his Journal. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a child. Your poem was beautiful. It seems that you have a strong faith, and I hope you can find some comfort with this. May God grant you peace and love in these days ahead.
Rita-from ALL KIDS- mom to Rich
Rita Guthrie
Wadsworth , OH USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 09:02 PM (CDT)

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What a beautiful memorial service for Matthew. I was so happy I was able to go.I hope you find peace and laughter in his memory. It sounds like he was quite the character:)May the Lord bless you and keep you.Love, Lisa and Family
Lisa, Steve, and Catherine Salem
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 08:06 PM (CDT)

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I am sry I am not smart enough to have developed the cure you needed, but I hope now u are in a better place u can be my gaurdian angel and watch over me as i learn what i need to learn so i can cure those who are in need. Ur family will be in my prayers.
Chris
College Station, TX USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 07:56 PM (CDT)

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Its never easy losing someone so close. As long as he is in your heart he is always around.

Best wishes Mike
Mike aka GIles
md usa - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 07:54 PM (CDT)

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This is certainly not the first time I cried my way through your journal entry.
I know you had a choice, in deciding whether or not to continue with the entries as things started to go drastically wrong.
I hope you know continuing with them brought a lot of people closer to you and Matt,
and we are all in awe of your family and its strength.

Chris
chrisrusso_@hotmail.com
Gooch's Site
- Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 06:46 PM (CDT)

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Hello this is Dwayne one of his friends that used to be in bridgeton. My family is very sorry for his lost and that we are happy for him, because he is in a better place now.
Dwayne
Saint Louis, MO Bridgeton - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 06:21 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,

I am so very sorry to hear about Matthew's passing on Monday. He was an amazing young man. I don't know how a family moves on after the loss of a child, but I am praying very hard for each of you to be touched by the healing hand of the Lord and that He will lead you on the path to healing. I pray that you will be left with the wonderful memories of this amazing young man. I wish there were some way I could ease your pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers always. I hope the thought that Matthew is now pain-free and in a better place can somehow ease your broken hearts. Hang in there and know there are so many people praying for you and that Matthew touched SO many lives. Thank you for sharing him with us .. it has been a blessing in my life I know.

With Love,
Holly Curtis mom to Haley, 3, ALL dxed April 3, 2002
The Haley Bug
Holly Curtis
Portsmouth, Virginia USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 06:06 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Christopher, and Julie,

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. I really wish I could of been there with you today. Even though I never met Matthew, he is my hero. Through this website, I feel as if I do know him. Your family is truely an inspiration to me. Just know, I wil never forget Matthew, or his family. Keeping you in prayer.
Much Love,
Laurie(Mom to Kaleigh 7 Dx ALL 6/99) http://hometown.aol.com/mlkttk/kaleigh.html
Laurie Koch
Noblesville, In 46060 - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 03:25 PM (CDT)

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My condolences go to his family and all his friends.
I just lost a good friend in an accident 2 weeks ago and noone should have to die this young.

|RS|Azrael
Berlin, Germany - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 03:09 PM (CDT)

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For Matt's Family.

I live in the Canary Islands (on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean), I dont know Matt, but, can you see how far Matt's friends live? This was posible because Matt's heart is bigger than the World. God bless you Matt.

(Sorry for my English...)
VeRtigO
- Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 02:53 PM (CDT)

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I can't speak good English, but I've read all the commands on the site etc...

I wish you good luck evrewhere u are!

I was sad that I don't may go to a lanparty.. but now, if I read this...

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:'(

See you!
Erik Bury
Huldenberg, Vlaanderen Belgium - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 02:40 PM (CDT)

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I'm here for about the fifteenth time today, wishing that somehow I could have been with you folks today. I am praying that you are all feeling the love of all these people surrounding you today. I pray that God will keep holding you up when all the people are gone and it is very quiet, that you will feel God's presence right there along side you. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 02:30 PM (CDT)

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Although so many of us are complete strangers, I am still in awe by how Matt has brought us all together. My thoughts for peace and guided strength are with your family today.
Teri Xavier
Nashville, TN - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 02:20 PM (CDT)

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Praying today for the family.


Anita
Sikeston, MO - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 12:53 PM (CDT)

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TO OUR FAMILY, OUR PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS ARE WITH ALL OF YOU TODAY. WE SEND OUR LOVE. SUSAN, GREGORY JR. AND PATRICK
SUSAN FACKLER
WHITEHALL, PA USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 12:43 PM (CDT)

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Your family is in my thougths and prayers today. May God give you peace.
Christi Hamilton
Dove Canyon, CA USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 12:27 PM (CDT)

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I do not know him but does it anyhow matter?
I read the news about him on a web site then I moved here.
I would just like to present my best wishes and deepest symphaty to the young gentleman and his family.I am extremely sorry for your loss...

Be in peace Matthew.

Onur Yavuz
Zürich, ZH Switzerland - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 12:27 PM (CDT)

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My prayers are with you all
He will be smiling down on you now so be proud of him..

Reaver (FLF Melb. Australia)
Kendal Montgomery
Melbourne, Vic Australia - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 11:04 AM (CDT)

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Oh Debbie,
My eyes are filled with tears as I read your latest journal entry. The poem is beautiful too. It sounds like so many friends, neighbors, family, and even people who never met Matthew were all brought together to say goodbye to this very special young man yesterday. I have kept your precious family in my thoughts and prayers and have been with you in spirit! Take care, I will continue to think of you, and check back again soon.
Love ya,
Stacey
Stacey Wada
Las Vegas, NV USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 10:59 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Hallemeier Family,
I am deeply saddened by your loss of Matthew. I have read many of the entries in your guestbook and I think it is great that there is such a tremendous out-poor of support for your family from everyone who was following Matthews battle and even from those who were not. I am sorry for the pain your family must be experiencing and I would like to express my deepest sympathies to you all. My heart goes out to your entire family.
Tammy Lysak
Foley, MO - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 10:54 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Family:

Thank you for your posting yesterday --- allowing us to share your journey is truly a great honor. I saw Matt's obituary in the Post-Dispatch yesterday --- it was lovely and truly heart-felt. After reading your journal entries daily, I could tell you wrote the second paragraph --- it's sounds exactly like the things you shared with all of us on the web. The picture of Matt is lovely --- what a handsome young man.

I am so sorry for your loss. Matt is truly a heroic human being. As most people, I wish I could offer you words of solace. The only thing I can share with you is something my Grandmother shared with me long after my Grandfather died. She told me that she says his name out loud every day to keep him in her life --- not just in a thought in her head, but actually out loud. Even if it's just a remembrance, a wish, or a fond recollection. Saying his name out loud keeps him real.

Wishing you and your family the best,
Kristine


Kristine
St. Louis, MO - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 10:38 AM (CDT)

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Thank you for sharing Matt's story with so many people via the Web. Your family's courage and faith have been an inspiration to us. We thank God that Matt is at peace, and we will continue to keep you in our prayers.
The Bennett family
Rolla, MO USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 10:15 AM (CDT)

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I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for all of you right now. God Bless
Susan
Mobile, AL - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 10:03 AM (CDT)

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To Mathew and family, I myself never got a chance to meet matt,Although he went to school with our daughter. I meet him though his website from Millie and old friend of mine from high school.Matt was such a strong person and everyone else in your family too. Our symathy and prayers to you and your family at this time of sorrow.
Roger,Tammy,Tarah,Amanda,Dylan Poteet
Bridgeton, MO - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 09:32 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know the loss of Matthew is fresh and you thoughts are on his struggle and illness but God is good and after a while, you will begin to remember the baby, the little boy and the young man that brought you so much joy.
Norma G. Hudson
Florence, Ky USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 09:11 AM (CDT)

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My prayers go out to you and your family in this most difficult of times.

GG Matt RIP
Marc
Fargo, ND US - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 08:30 AM (CDT)

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I know how this is, my Father was diagnosed w/ the same thing i just saw this on a HL website, thought i would give my sympathy. may God be with you all.
Curt
Macon, GA USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 08:25 AM (CDT)

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R.I.P.
Charlie Hammond
London, U.K. - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 08:18 AM (CDT)

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No words can describe sorrow, so farewell.
Mark Griffiths
Aberystwyth, Wales - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 08:04 AM (CDT)

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=(
cmd
- Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 07:22 AM (CDT)

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Sorry that your son has passed away. I wish you luck in the future. I have not had the opportunity to meet you son, but when i heard about this i was deeply saddened. Good luck in the future.
Sean
West Orange, NJ USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 06:53 AM (CDT)

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Hello Im Tony Pierce akA CosaNostra DarkWarrior I am a fellow gammer of Matts.I didnt know anything about his cancer till he posted it on flfmod.com i made a tribute to him by the way of a mini flash movie I send you all my regaurds and I really Wish I could say something that will help All i can say is I pray gods hands be on your whole Family and his comfort be felt. Good by Matt
Tony Pierce Aka CosaNostra-DarkWarrior
Lenoir, N.C USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 06:02 AM (CDT)

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Wow...I read all of the history...boy, what a fighter...in fact, I'm crying right now, and I don't cry much. It felt like I was right there, hearing every breath, witnessing every blink of his eyes. Be brave, you'll see him again in Heaven. Count on that.
Jesse Dunn
Modesto, CA USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 04:35 AM (CDT)

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I never have played the game with matt, or never have met him, I stumbled across this by accident while looking through mod sites and saw that someone important to so many had been taken. I am so sorry at your loss, but at least you can be assured that he is now at peace and no longer in pain. My love goes out to you and your family in this troubling time, may god give you strength.
Sean Underwood
Depew, NY US - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 02:57 AM (CDT)

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:( i dont know you.. but when i heard about what happened.. i was really moved. i wish i couldve played you since you sound like a wonderful guy from these other people..

but now you can rest.

god speed.
av2k
- Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 02:29 AM (CDT)

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I wish that I could go pay my respect to Matthew in person. I feel like thats the least I could do. Yet I live so far away that there's no chance to do that. I think about him everyday though, and how special he is and how much he impacted me. I'll never forget him !
Shannon
Vancouver, bc Canada - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 02:14 AM (CDT)

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I was 11 when my younger brother, Chris - age 7, was killed in an accident. Someone sent Mother and Daddy a poem that to this day I still remember! Over the years it has brought me a sense of peace and I've shared it with many. The first lines especially stay in my heart, and I think speak to Matthew's leaving. Those lines are: I cannot say, and will not say That he is dead. He is just away! ..... With a cheery smile and a wave of the hand, He has wandered into an unknown land. ..... And left us dreaming how very fair It needs must be, since he lingers there. ............. the rest of the poem goes: And you - oh you, who the wildest yearn For the old time step and the glad return - ..... Think of him faring on, as dear In the love of There as the love of Here; ..... And loyal still, as he gave the blows Of his warrior strength to his country's foes - ..... Mild and gentle, as he was brave, When the sweetest love of his life he gave ..... To simple things; where the violets grew Pure as the eyes they likened to, ..... The touches of his hands have strayed As reverently as his lips have prayed; ..... When the little brown thrush that harshly chirred Was dear to him as the mocking-bird; ..... And he pitied as much as a man in pain A writhing honey-bee wet with rain. ..... Think of him still as the same, I say: He is not dead - he is just - away! ..... "Away" by James Whitcomb Riley. ................. I'm not sure, but I think this was written for a soldier, and Matthew was truly a "soldier" who fought a brave battle. I hope this poem will bring you the comfort it has always given me.


Bonnie Pixley
Templeton (currently at Ft. Benning, GA), CA USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 01:31 AM (CDT)

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I never knew matt, but from what ive heard on forums of FLF and DOD, he sounds like one hell of a kid, i really wish i could have played FLF with him or just talked to him. I my self have never played FLF or heard of it untill this situation came up. I think i speak for everyone of the Day of Defeat community when i say this, we hope matt rests in peace and are strongest prayers go out to all of his family.
Chris Willroth
Hunltey, IL US - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 01:05 AM (CDT)

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Peace man! My Love Goes Out To You
Nicolas
SunShine Coast, QLD Australia - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 01:04 AM (CDT)

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I just wanted to say that I think Matt was a very brave young man. I hope my family is as strong as yours if anything terrible were to happen.
I drive an Eclipse and wanna know what Matt's favorite music was so I can blast it for him next time I'm on the interstate.
God Bless You.
Fi
Omaha, NE USA - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 12:56 AM (CDT)

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I didn't have the chance to meet matt, But my heart goes out to him, i lost my father to cancer last year, and going over the forum in the FLF forum really hit me deep, i cant say that i feel sorry for him, Because in the end there is no more pain, no more hospital visits, Just happyness. My thoughts and heart goes out to each and every one of you people that took the time to post your feelings about this, i'm sure his family is pleased that there son had such a impact around everyone, Those who knew him, and those who didn't, i might be of the last group but i care as much as if i knew him.

for his family my heart goes out to him, and for him my prayors,its never to late to tell him how much you care
Jason Williams
Chicago, IL USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:58 PM (CDT)

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I didn't know Matthew. I have no ideas about the game he played, or the community that had such love for him. I do know that I cried tonight like I did when my grandmother passed away this past April. She had 4 cancerous umors in her brain, cancer in her lymph nodes, legs, stomach, and lungs. She was 74 yr. old. I read through the Goodbye thread Matt posted, and I cried so much for someone I never knew, came in contact with, or even had the same interests with. I do know that I was deeply touched by the response and love he got from the FLF community. I am truly sorry for your loss. Know that Matthew was a great soul indeed. I can only hope that I will be able to positively affect as many lives as he was able to. My heart and prayers and tears go out to you.
Nicole Lynn
Pheonix, az USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:33 PM (CDT)

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To the family of Matthew:

I can not express my sadness any better than anyone else who has signed the guest book. Having been touched by Matt for only a few months...I can only say...how honored I am to have met him and your family via this site.

I leave you with your wonderful memories of Matthew and the time shared on Earth with him. I also leave you this thought:


Some people come into our lives
and quickly go.
Others stay for a while,
and leave footprints on our hearts...
and we are never, ever the same.

I miss you already, Matthew.

Tara
- Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:27 PM (CDT)

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I just heard about Matt this morning. I've known Matt since elementary school, but the last time I saw him was freshman year, and although he did look sick, he never acted it. He acted like his normal, crazy, funny self, the Matt that everyone knew and love. It amazes me that as sick as he was and as much pain as he was in, he continued to make everyone laugh, and could bring a smile to anyone's face.

I was looking over at other people's notes and comments and many of them appologized for your "loss" but you know what, you didn't "lose" Matt, you know exactly where he is, up in Heaven, where he can be at peace and painfree, and I know he will always be looking down on all of us here and watching over us. And though I am sorry Matt is no longer here on Earth with us, I think he's much better off up there.
Brandy Weed
Bridgeton, MO - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:26 PM (CDT)

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Matthew Hallemeier is someone I didn’t know of until today. I have read his final post in the FLF forum and read the journal entries here. I was overcome with grief for his passing. I would like to note that the final post Matt, aka. Zofran made in the FLF forum has received nearly 100 000 Views and hundreds of posts of condolence! That alone shows the tremendous support Matt had from people all over North America and beyond. I respectfully add my condolence here as well…Farewell Matt, you will be missed, and remembered.
QWAD - Tyler
Ottawa, ON Canada - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:25 PM (CDT)

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I returned from two days out of town to read your journal about Matt's passing. As I sat here reading with tears streaming down my face my daughter asked me "why are you crying, Mom?" I explained to her that a boy the same age as her brother had been very sick and suffered very much with a horrible, unfair disease and had just passed on to a place without pain and suffering. She replied that I should be happy that his suffering is over. I said I was glad he was at peace, it was the family that I am crying for. I can only imagine the intense pain in your hearts at this time. I am so very sorry that you all had to go thru this experience-especially Matthew. I sure wish I knew why this has to be. Someday I hope to find the answer, but until then we on earth continue to experience what life brings our way. The very good-love and the very sad-losing a loved one. God bless you all in this very, very sad time. Know that many, many people you've never met are thinking of your family and praying for you.
Karen
Bloomington, Mn - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 09:26 PM (CDT)

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Hello again. Just read you latest. I did my sons ulogy, then the pastor did a sermon. I was so afraid I would not be strong enough, but I did a great job, I felt like my son and God were holding me up and it was just amazing. Whatever you decide will be fine, I'm glad your family and friends are around you now. Still in our prayers and holding you all close in our hearts, Christy Grasmick and family.
Christy Grasmick
Kim, CO USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 09:14 PM (CDT)

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http://www.flfmod.net/steele/zof.jpg

Join the United Devices team devoted in Matt's memory. The UD screensaver helps cancer research while you aren't using your computer.

http://members.ud.com/services/teams/team.htm?id=9D2A53F2-C330-4939-8ACA-CF87AD80CFDD
Dan
- Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 09:00 PM (CDT)

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TO OUR FAMILY IN O'FALLON. GREGORY JR. PATRICK AND SUSAN SEND OUR LOVE AND PRAYERS TO EVERYONE. EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT THERE OUR THOUGHTS ARE WITH ALL OF OUR FAMILY. LOVE SUSAN
SUSAN FACKLER
WHITEHALL, PA USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 08:22 PM (CDT)

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I am so sorry. Matt was a great kid with great parents.
Joel Hulsey
Covington, LA USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 07:59 PM (CDT)

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My prayers for all the Hallemeier family. You will see Matthew again in heaven.
Mrs. Steinheimer, Pattonville Hts. Teacher
- Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 07:31 PM (CDT)

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I feel very sorry for all of you.It is terrible that Matthew had lukemia. I will continue to pray for all of you everynight.
Matthew Drysdale age:11
O'fallon, MO US of A - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 07:19 PM (CDT)

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I have always believed that people never really die if they are remembered. I pray that this guestbook is an example of this. God bless and give you consolation in this time of sorrow.
A Fellow Gamer
Milford, CT USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 06:32 PM (CDT)

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I am so sorry for your loss. We have been and will continue to pray for your entire family.
Tammy Bunn
AK USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 06:12 PM (CDT)

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Im not sure what to say. I think we are all i a state of shock right now and i can't even imagine how you people - the ones who really knew and loved him - feel at the moment. I would just like to say that Matt's death has had a permanent effect on my life, and i have now come to realise that life should never be taken for granted and you should always take one day at a time as thouhgh its the last. Rest in Peace Matt. You will never be forgotten.
Johan
Jakarta, Indonesia - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 06:05 PM (CDT)

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My condolences go to the Hallemeir family..

I never knew Matthew as well as any of his friends did but I was a close follower of FLF from the beginning.

My thoughts and prayers are with him and the Hallemeier family.
ryan
Huntington Beach, CA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 05:47 PM (CDT)

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sorry about what happened he was a good guy
t
- Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 05:40 PM (CDT)

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This is Rufio from GXA, same clan as Weiner's. While I only played FLF once or twice, it seemed like one heck of a game. I have never spoken to Matt, but from what I have heard of him, and what he has posted, he seems like an amazing guy. I'm very sorry it all happened like this, and as Weiner said, even though we play different games, we all end up in the same place at the end.
[GXA]-Rufio-[R][StS-Et]
Orange County, CA The Best - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 05:10 PM (CDT)

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i am not a member of the FLF community, so i never had the chance to bump into Zof. As a DoD player, i would like to extend my condolences on behalf of the entire DoD community, though we may play different mods, we are all still brothers in this end of the online gaming community. God bless.

[GXA]-WeinerVonSchnitzel-[Zof]
Seattle, WA usa - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 04:59 PM (CDT)

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Rest In Peace Matthew.
Vegard Henriksen
Sřrkjosen, -- Norway - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 04:51 PM (CDT)

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Oh God you guys, I am So sorry
we just got home and and a couple of friends emailed me
I am so very sorry for what you guys are going through
You are a remarkable famnily and Matthew could not have been more loved.

chris
chrisrusso_@hotmail.com

- Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 04:48 PM (CDT)

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Zof(I never knew Matt by anything other than a handle) you are sorely missed and will be remembered. I think back of all the times we gamed together and the fun we had. I have not been online for months and am just hearing the bad news. I know you are at peace now and your pain is gone. I want you to know you will play on with me and the rest of the community in our hearts.

/me salutes Zof

Blade
Andrew Yunker
La Habra, CA USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 04:22 PM (CDT)

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I did not know Matt or his family, I was sent his name to pray for him and his family, I will continue to do so. May the Lords love engulf you at this time and may you feel his loving arms around you.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." John 14:1-4

Find comfort in knowing Matt is with the father and is no longer sick, Jesus has prepared a place for him and has taken him to be where he is.

Jim
OH - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 04:21 PM (CDT)

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this is horrible that all i can say... words cannot discribe the feelsings i have i didnt even hear about mat until the post on the flf website im so sorry for your loss and i wish everyone the best of luck
god bless
Richard "original prankster" Faraci
- Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 03:10 PM (CDT)

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I'm really sorry to hear about your lose. I never knew Matt, But it is a total waste that he had to die. I pray one day we find a cure for cancer. God Bless you Matt and your brave family.
Scott Schill
Toronto, Ont Canada - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 03:08 PM (CDT)

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I know what a loss is like. It feels terrible, and ends up burning into your mind for quite a while, if not forever. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to Matthew. I've never had a death to leukemia. Matthew's passed on now, all we can do is morn. I never knew him, even though I played Frontline Force, the game he played, every day I could get on. I bet it would have been a pleasure playing that game with him. I hope life gets better for you. My deepest thoughts go out to this all. You never know how much someone means to you until they're gone. People are kind of like rain. Many droplets you don't even know, but they're there. Some you see, know. They're there one minute, then they hit the ground the next, and are gone.

Make the best of it. Matthew suffers no longer.
My heart truely goes out to you.
Joseph
- Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 02:50 PM (CDT)

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From one gamer to another. Strength and Honor.
Billy
Baltimore, MD America - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 02:36 PM (CDT)

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I am deeply saddened by your loss....by our loss as human beings. I never knew Matthew or anything but I do know one thing. He took his illness better than I would have. From what I read in the journal Matthew had an outstanding mother and a great family behind him through out this whole...illness. May God Bless Matthew and his Family.

Semper Fidelis (Always Faithful)
PFC Francisco Villarreal USMC, DEP
Baltimore, MD Baltimore - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 02:27 PM (CDT)

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I am deeply sorry for your loss. No words can describe the sorrow or sense of loss. Peace be with you and your family.
Linteaus
- Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 01:20 PM (CDT)

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Words cannot describe what I am feeling right now. I did not know Matt, nor did I play with him online. But as a fellow gamer and one who has lost both my father and stepfather to cancer I can truly understand the pain in everyones life. My prayers are with you and your family and of course with Matt. Much Love.
Rob Drum
Harrisburg, PA USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 01:10 PM (CDT)

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So sorry to hear about your loss. I wish I could take away your pain. We are all hear for you on daybyday.
God Bless,
Michelle(angel Katies mom)
Michelle
Lynnwood, WA USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 11:56 AM (CDT)

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Our deepest sympathies at the loss of Matthew. He must have been a true fighter and I know that his spirit will be with you each day of your lives. Cherish the many wonderful memories you have of him. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Wende Harney, our daughter Beth is a friend of Julie's from Murray
Georgetown, KY USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 11:34 AM (CDT)

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Dirk, Debbie Christopher and Julie, Your daily journal has been such an inspiration to many. I wish I had known Matthew. Please tell Matthew to look for Teri Jo and tell her we love her. John, Carol Jo Brenneman (cousin)
Carol Jo Brenneman
Clearwater, FL USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 11:27 AM (CDT)

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so hard to write... RIP
-GeineD-
Des Moines, Iowa 50317 - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 11:22 AM (CDT)

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I am from DayByDay and am so sorry to learn about the loss of your precious Matthew. There truly are no words, just many tears. Childhood cancer is the worst kind of beast. Know that we are all here for you in the long days and months ahead. Matthew will never be forgotten by those whose lives he touched.
Regards,
Lynn, mom to my wonderful Hannah, www.caringbridge.com/page/huggablehannah
Maple Glen, PA 19002 - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 11:15 AM (CDT)

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Our hearts are aching for your loss of precious Matthew. What a remarkable person. We're praying for your family. Your journal is such a keepsake. Thank you for sharing his life. Your family is very special. Dianne Roth

Dianne Roth www.caringbridge.com/mo/jackiesjourney
Cape Girardeau, mo - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 11:07 AM (CDT)

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WOW!
Kevin
Great Falls, MT - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:56 AM (CDT)

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Another star has risen in the sky...Matt was a joy to have in class, and I am blessed to have been able to get to know him. My sincere condolences to all that have had Matt touch their lives.
Peter Schmoeker
St. Louis, MO USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:41 AM (CDT)

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Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince,
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!


Mark "Marquis" Haly
Portsmouth, England - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:27 AM (CDT)

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My sincerest condolences.

-Dh
Darkhorse
Northants, UK - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:27 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie and Dirk, I pray that you are managing to hang on through this terrible time. It must be a special comfort to receive all the guestbook messages from Matthew's FLF friends around the world.
Love, Gloria McShane, mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS
Richmond, North Yorkshire, UK - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:04 AM (CDT)

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As the father of a 5 year old with ALL I was inspired by the courage displayed by Matt and his entire family. I have been praying for comfort for all of you. Althought I never met Matt or you, I must tell you that having the website, and the strength to update it so regularly, was a sign of you deep caring and kindness. Thank you for sharing a most difficult time in your life with all of us. May God protect you and guide you.


Mike Serum
Olathe, KS USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:03 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Hallemeier family, you gave Matthew the greatest gift of all, a knowledge of Jesus Christ and a close and loving family, and what a wonderful family you are. You provided love and support up to Matt's last minute on earth. I pray you all have the stregnth to get through the next few days. We will all be with you in spirit. We will all carry Matt's name in our hearts for a very long time, and we all feel we have friends in MO. eventhough we have never meet in person. Thank you Debbie & Dirk for sharing Matt with us. God Bless you Matt.
Debbie
MD - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 09:46 AM (CDT)

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I am lost for words. As a parent of a son that has been battling Leukemia for 4 years my heart aches for your family. I have been reading Matthew's website every day for quite a while now, his story has had a tremendous affect on my life. My thoughts are with your family.

www.collinhuggins.com
Stacy Huggins
Winston, GA USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 09:25 AM (CDT)

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I came to this site by a link from a computer game site.
I did not know matt or his family but my deepest condolences go out to you all.
be brave.
Matthew H
Bolton, England - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 09:23 AM (CDT)

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Our sympathy and prayers to your family at this time of sorrow.
Love and Peace,
Marilynn, Fred, Erin, Bill, Kevin Wilke
Marilynn Wilke
Maryland Heights, , MO 63043 - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 08:32 AM (CDT)

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May God be with you in this time of need. God speed Matt.
Joel P. Cieslinski
Montello, WI USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 08:28 AM (CDT)

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You have my full condolences on this tragedy. May his fight inspire other people to fight against cancer. Rest in peace.
mike
Frankfurt a.M., HE Germany - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 08:22 AM (CDT)

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To Matt family : U have my most heartfelt sympathy n condolences, although i do not know him personally but his fighting spirit and his courage, inspired me, touched me deeped in my heart and i believe that all of us did. Deepest condolences.
Lennart (Soul Assasins, lenolas)
Singapore - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 07:40 AM (CDT)

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you have my most heartfelt sympathies. I didn't really know him except that he was a developer but my little brother had/has lymphatic leukemia so I know how it's been the last couple of years for you. you have my greatest sympathies
Tim
- Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 07:16 AM (CDT)

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Hallemeier Family,
Matthew was a true soldier fighting with this disease, and hanging in there like he did and I am so sorry for your loss. I am the same age as he is . and it now makes me think more about life more then i ever have. i did not know Matthew personally but i knew of him through the gaming community and i am a fan of the game he was part of,and he will be missed from all his friends world-wide!

Long Remember Matt Hallemeier!
Matt
Pleasant Grove, Alabama U.S.A. - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 07:08 AM (CDT)

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Matt was a warrior, just as my wife was a warrior. They both accepted death as a part of life and faced it bravely and with dignity. I hope I can do as well.
Farewell Warriors. My best to all the family.
Robert Grafa(Sandman)
Prescott, AZ USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:58 PM (CDT)

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Hallemeier Family,
Matthew will remain in my prayers.

in ~kai~,
Duke Rodda
Memphis, TN USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:23 PM (CDT)

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I only knew your son from the internet, but even from such an impersonal way of communication, you could get the sense that Matt was a very kind person. I am very sorry for your loss, for Matt was one of those unique people who looked at life in a way many of us don't, and made the best with what he had. I applaud him. I've read the journal, and what I saw has brought me to the brink of tears. Again, my deepest sympathies to the Hallemeier family. Rest in peace, Matt.
Ian Clements
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:08 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier family,
My heart aches for you all, but "Hallelujah!", Matt is no longer in pain. He is finally home! I know he is rejoicing now. I continue to pray for you as you have such a deep loss. I was reminded tonight of the verses in Lamentations 3:22-25
"The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I have hope in Him.' The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him."
Cling to Him and His word during this time of great sorrow. He is faithful.
Praying for you,
Christina Schwartz

Christina Schwartz
Boynton Bch, FL USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:25 PM (CDT)

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I never met or spoke to Matt. But reading the diary of his final days simply brought me to tears. I'm sorry for your tragic loss, and may he rest in peace.
Rob
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:24 PM (CDT)

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I'm amazed at the affect you've had on so many people. I never even met you and even people like me are brought to tears. God bless.
Scott Howard
Richland, WA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:42 PM (CDT)

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im so sorry about all of this you guys are brave people and you will be in my prayers
danielle
st.ann, mo usa - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:41 PM (CDT)

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I have known Zofran from the internet for well over two years now, and I am very upset to hear of his loss. He will be very missed by everyone that he got a chance to meet in the gaming world. On behalf of -=EL=- (EliteLegion) and the Truman State University Gamers League (www.tsu-lan.com) I would like you to know we are all thinking about him and keep him close in our prayers.
Nathan Kirsch -=EL=-Mangler
O'Fallon , MO America - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:41 PM (CDT)

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I look up to you Matt. You are a role model for us all and I hope I can someday be as brave as you were. Much love to your family.
Dan Kettmann
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:38 PM (CDT)

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I didn't know him...at all, but any HL fanatic deserves my thank you for what I heard he helped with. Also, I send my sympathy to his family.
crazy.joe
Stevens Point, WI 54481 - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:38 PM (CDT)

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I lost my cousin and uncle to Cancer so I definately feel your pain, my deepest sympathy goes out to Matt's parents. Matt gg bud, even though I didn't know you the DOD community salutes you. Rest in Peace Matt :(
Demian
Tampa, FL USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:27 PM (CDT)

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God Bless you Matt ...God bless Matthews family...As i was reading here tonite my little Boy Ryan noticed that i was reading a guest book like his. He asked me why i had tears in my eyes..so i explained to him. I wanted you to know he asked all about matt and told me mommy i dont know what will happen to me but i want to be brave just like him ...Our heart felt thoughts and prayers are with you all. Take care and may God Bless and hold you dear.
Shari
bowie, md usa - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:23 PM (CDT)

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You have our family's sympathy. We lost our Chris to ALL almost 3 years ago at 16, too. Matt looks like he was a great young man. I know you are very proud of his courage.

Sue Roe
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:19 PM (CDT)

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I´ve read through the whole journal tonight.
And even if I can´t understand every word I´m sure that
there are only a few people in the world who can go through
all this such courageously like Matt did.

GoodBye Matt.


Marc Eismann "Frostie"
Wuelfrath, Germany - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:04 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew, i know you are still there with your family, take good care of them , you earned respect and a lots of sympathy m8.

BB and cya next life again !!!

greetz Tim
Timtitanium
Belgium(Antwerp), Belgium - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:01 PM (CDT)

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I just want to give Matts family The Best Wishes and We all will pray for you and Matt.
My deepest sympathy for your loss.
God Bless and Take Care.
Jeff.Snell
Syracuse, NY USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:49 PM (CDT)

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God bless you Matt.
MikeJ
Vancouver, BC Canada - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:32 PM (CDT)

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My first thought on this guestbook was to just leave my name without a comment, due to my total lack of anyway to put my feelings into words.

My heart cries out for his soul, and for his family and friends.

God Bless You Matt.
Robin Edmans
Tonbridge, England - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:27 PM (CDT)

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Words cannot express what I felt like when I saw this all, it is just a terrible trajedy. I never knew matt but i'm sure he was a very good person. I cannot even imagine the pain and suffering you must be going through, but my prayers go out to you.
Steve
Martinsville, VA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:23 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Family- You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. May you all find peace and comfort.
Debbie
Coventry, CT USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:22 PM (CDT)

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Respect!May God Be With Him
F-Minus
Maaseik, Belgium - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:06 PM (CDT)

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To the dear Hallemeier Family-

We are holding you all so close in our hearts. Wishing you all peace.
Alexis, Annie and Isabelle Thomas
Gainesville, FL - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:26 PM (CDT)

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Unfortunately, I have never had the opportunity to meet Zof, but ever since I heard about his brave battle two months ago I have been following his progress. His story has touched thousands of people worldwide, and is an inspiration. My condolences go out to his family, however, I would also like to thank them for bringing this brave and wonderful person into the world. For the short time he was with us he has positively affected so many people. But life on earth is just the prologue to his real story, and now he is in a much better place, where there is no pain. And you, as his family, must be strong in this hard time, for you will one day join him.

God bless you all in this sad time.
Karen
Mackay, QLD Australia - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:24 PM (CDT)

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I was relieved for Matthew when I saw your entry, but so sad for you at the same time. I can only imagine what you are going through (unfortunate that any of us can). I wish you peace as you begin a new phase of this journey through life.
Vicki, mama to Duncan, ALL-Kids
Copper Canyon, TX - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:23 PM (CDT)

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im so sorry for your loss.....my father died on the same day a year ago....My thoughts r with u
C.J
Auckland, New Zealand - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:18 PM (CDT)

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i am sorry! god bless matt and his family!
only the good die young !

IronSkull
Gelsenkirchen, NRW Germany - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:11 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew's family,
Though my wife and I never had the honor of meeting your Matt, our hearts go out to you. We know that he is truly in the presence of the Lord and His angels and he is perfectly healthy and strong!! You will be in our prayers. May God bless and keep you all and give you the perfect peace that can only come from Him.
Billy and Valerie Graham
Billy Graham
Phoenix, AZ. USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:09 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie & Family,
I am so sorry. You remain in my prayers.
Harri T (PED-ONC list)
Auckland, New Zealand - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:08 PM (CDT)

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God bless you all. My friends and I are praying for you all.
Mark D
Conway, AR USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:05 PM (CDT)

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My deepest sympathies go out to the FLF team, and expecially to Matt's family.
Larry
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 05:56 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie & Family,
We send you many prayers. The world is, once again, a much sadder place, but we believe in angels. Matthew certainly is free...enjoying his wings as romps about with the fighters who went on before him.
Peace to You & Yours, Amy & Lance Olson (parents to Savannah, age 5 dx Wilm's Tumor 12/2000)
Amy Olson
Woodridge, IL USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 05:56 PM (CDT)

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It is sad to hear that Matt lost his battle with a terrible disease, but he's at peace now.

My deepest condolences, and those of the the entire Frontline Force and gaming community, go out to Matt's family and friends.
Huw 'Bluetooth' Davies
Merthyr Tydfil, Wales, United Kingdom - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 05:55 PM (CDT)

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I dont know what to say, eventho i never knew matthew or his family, i sincerely feel your pain. My thoughts and prayers go out to Matthew and his family. R.I.P Matthew :(
Craig Howard
Boston, MA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 05:42 PM (CDT)

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I played the half-life game modification he helped create, and probably played with him. Although I didn't know about it before today his story is touching and sad. My prayers go out to him and his family at this time.
Jim "Joker" Bauer
Sterling Hgts, MI USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 05:42 PM (CDT)

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When I saw this on www.planethalflife.com, a gamer site that hosts the FLF site, I was choked up. In my gaming years, I have seen 2 people fade away from the gaming community. It is a sad and woefull time when a gamer looses his life, for we all know that we wont see him on the battlefield any more. The other person I knew, a member of a team I was in, died from a car accident. It sent waves of sadness and terror down my back. I would never see him again on the virtual battlefield, grinning like a fool and running through fields of cover fire. I felt the same way when I read the news artical. Life is a neverending book, death starts another chapter in this book, and I hope Zofran is ok up in heaven.
David Nicholson
Mobile, AL US - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 05:40 PM (CDT)

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Dirk, Debbie, Julie and Christopher
You guys have been in my thoughts and prayers since Dirk called me yesterday and told me that Matthew had passed on. I just wanted to express my thoughts and prayers of peace for you in your time of sorrow.


Anne Kaufman
St. Louis, MO - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 05:16 PM (CDT)

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Mis mas profundos sentimientos son enviados a la familia de Matt.
Que en Paz Descanse.

My deep feeling are correspondents to Matt's family.
Rest in peace.
Leonel Peńa
Leonel Peńa
Buenos Aires, Argentina - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 05:14 PM (CDT)

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This is tragic news.

My condolences go out to Matt's family.
Andrew Barrow
Roanoke, VA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:53 PM (CDT)

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I will be praying for peace and strength for the entire Hall family. I am so sorry for your loss. God Bless You!

ALL Kids
Leanna, mom to Jacie (4) dx 1-29-02
LeAnna
Glenpool, OK 74033 - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:49 PM (CDT)

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I never knew how important you were, so this is to say Thankyou, wherever you are for what you have given to so many people
Stephen Bool
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:47 PM (CDT)

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Incase any of you want to view what we all had to say about matt here is the link. He had more friends then he'll ever know. Miss you buddy.
http://www.frontlineforce.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=8532
Steve De George JR (Thraka)
Renton, Wa USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:43 PM (CDT)

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Desde Espańa.

Siento mucho lo sucedido, sin embargo, hago vuestras las palabras de Jesucristo en Mateo 11:25 "Jesús le dijo: "Yo soy la resurrección y la vida. El que ejerce fe en mí, aunque muera, llegará a vivir; "

Desde Espańa con amor
Miguel
Barcelona, Spain - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:37 PM (CDT)

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my thoughts and prayers are with you ; though people may say that time heal all wounds, this wound that you have runs deep. i too have lost two people that i love dearly and that is my mother and father. time will never take away the hurt, but time will help deal with the loss. take care and god bless.
eddie
huntsville, al usa - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:29 PM (CDT)

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I can not tell you how much my thoughts and prayers are with you all right now.. I have followed all your updates ... and prayed every single day for peace and painfree days for Matthew...
Matthew was such a wonderful boy to have the family and loved ones he did ... They are from all over the world ...
Please know my love goes out to you at this difficult time... Matthew is now painfree and at peace...
Jenn
PA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:18 PM (CDT)

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We send our prayers and love to sustain you through these hard and lonely times.

The Hendlers -- Denise, Jerry, Doug, Evan, Brenna dx All 2/98 ot 5/00 and Genevieve
Denise Hendler (ALL KIDS)
Rochester, MI USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:18 PM (CDT)

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Dear Family,
I have been here so many times today and I just couldn't bring myself to try and write something. I feel as if I've lost a very close friend, even though I never was priviledged enough to meet any of you. But as I said in an earlier post, I know that sometime I will get to meet Matthew when I join him in God's kingdom. I can't even begin to imagine all the feelings that are going through each one of you. My heart aches for each of you. I guess Debbie, as a mom of two kids, I just don't know where you have gotten all of your strength and your faith. I only hope and pray, that if ever faced with any adversity, I could handle myself with half of the grace that all of you have. You are such a wonderful family. God certainly knew what he was doing when he lent Matthew to your family. I guess that is something that we all tend to forget. . . God "lends" us his children for the time that He sees fit. I am very sorry for everything that you are going through and I wish there was some even little thing that I could do that would help. The only thing I know to do is continue to pray for you. I pray that God will wrap his arms around all of you, just like our earthly fathers do when we are afraid, or when we need reassurance. Please know that I will still be here standing by you. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 03:59 PM (CDT)

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Dirk, just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your family for strength and peace during this time. I did not get the previledge to meet Matthew personally, but I know through our visits and reading about him on his web-page, he was a terrific young man and I know that you are very proud of him. May God's peace be with you and your family, Scott Richey - USA Media
scott
benton, ar usa - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 03:42 PM (CDT)

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Matthew was so brave and such an inspiration. Heaven is surely celebrating it's newest Angel, leaving the rest of us to mourn. Take comfort in the knowledge that Matthew will walk amongst the clouds with all the other wonderful Ped-Onc Angels who have gone before him.
We are all praying for your strength and peace in the upcoming weeks.
Laura Pierce, Mom to Kenny, Stage IV rhabdo, (age 7)
Kennesaw, GA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 03:33 PM (CDT)

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I have been following Matthew's journal for a few weeks now and have been impressed by his strength in fighting to the very end. Seeing how many lives he touched (just by reading the guestbook) was incredible! Matthew's with his Lord and Saviour now, experiencing the joys of heaven. May God hold your family close to His side as you go through this painful time.
Nancy Jeane (Mom to Ashley 5 yrs pre-B ALL
Peachtree City, GA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 03:02 PM (CDT)

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In very very great sorrow! Goodbye, Matt!!
Heinz Rottmann
Ahaus, NRW Germany - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:50 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Chris and Julie,

There is nothing that me or anyone else can say to ease your pain... my prayers go out to you all.

Shervin
Shervin
Rotterdam, The Netherlands - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:39 PM (CDT)

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We are so sorry for your loss. Our prayers are with you all.
Sean & Machelle Johnson
Theodore, AL USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:31 PM (CDT)

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I woke up this morning and told me, I went back to my room and cried. I didn't know Matthew, but he knew what I was going through so I feel so bad.

May he R.I.P. and be out of his misery. All my love to you and your family, I'm sorry
Danielle Paine
Hampton, IA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:18 PM (CDT)

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I would just like to pass on my condolances to Mat's family, as part of the flf community i had the pleasure of playing with and talking to Mat. He will be missed
Damo
Liverpool, UK - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:18 PM (CDT)

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It wasn't until recnetly that I knew how young Matt was. It shows that the facelessness of the internet can really allow someone's character to be displayed without any preconcieved notions. He worked hard and played even harder. We're all better for having known him even if it was breifly and at a distance. Regardless of his age, Matt had become a man, and if I could be half the man that he was I'd be happy. Sleep well my young friend, you will be missed.
Steve Kongialis
Toronto, Ontario Canada - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:15 PM (CDT)

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Prayers to all you and your loves ones. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Marlene Sorota (ALL_KIDS)
Pembroke Pines, FL - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:51 PM (CDT)

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Writing something to such a sad event is always difficult. In my eyes, we shouldn't mourn about Matthew, but remember him for the great work he has done for the gaming community. I hope he will be with the mod in spirit forever.
Laurens Hoek
Hilversum, the Netherlands - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:42 PM (CDT)

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Writing something to such a sad event is always difficult. In my eyes, we shouldn't mourn about Matthew, but remember him for the great work he has done for the gaming community. I hope he will be with the mod in spirit forever.
Laurens Hoek
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:40 PM (CDT)

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Dirk, Debbie, Chris and Julie,
You dominate our thoughts and prayers this day. We rejoice that Matt now rests in the arms of Jesus. We pray that Jesus will wrap His arms of love around you and draw you close to Him.
Peace in Christ,
George and Sherri Spicer
george spicer
bluffton , sc usa - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:38 PM (CDT)

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Words are never adequate at a time like this. Remember the wonderful, brave spirit that was and always will be Matt. I pray you find some comfort in knowing Matt is with God. I pray for His peace for all who loved Matt.
Elizabeth Percey (esperfect=Ebay Giving Board)
Bennington, VT U*S*A* - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:10 PM (CDT)

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I am very sorry to hear about what happened to Matthew. This must be very hard for you all. Before reading the journel entrys, i had no idea what kind of pain Matthew and others like him have to suffer. Though Matthew has left you and all of us physically, im sure he will still stay with you and all of us spiritually.good luck to Matthews family.
Vince "MaGNuM" Soriano
Chicago, IL USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:05 PM (CDT)

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May the happy and healthy memories of Matthew be forever in your hearts and in each day going forward. His presence will still be with us and will be all around us. Matthew was a HERO in my book and will never be forgotten. It pains me to go through another loss to ALL. These children that I have "known" have been real troopers. Their families have been even more so. Thank you Debbie for letting us all be a part of Matthew's journey. Of course, we all wish it didn't have to end. I hope our Angels have met in Heaven and are enjoying their eternal lives together in some way. My heart weighs heavy for your loss. God bless you all.

Vicki Hoffman
Sis to Mike Hunter 8/1/73~7/16/01
www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike
Anaheim, CA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:51 PM (CDT)

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Matthews Family-
I feel sorry for he trouble you have been through.This must be a hard time for you all.I'm sorry matthew couldn't be with you for eternity.But no-one can.
I wish you luck in the future.
Adam Arkley


P.S. Please contact me!
Adam Arkley
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:43 PM (CDT)

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I'm really sorry. I don't know what else say.
Kafitan_Kanuto
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:41 PM (CDT)

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Until Spain sad history has arrived from "Zofran" as we know it by Internet. My but sincere pesame for the family
Zerocull
Madrid, SPAIN - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:21 PM (CDT)

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I am from DaybyDay. I am so sorry Matthew lost his battle with cancer. I am sure you are glad he is no longer suffering, but I know it doesn't ease your grief of not having him with you. The following helped me in the early days of losing Ashley to cancer: They did not die because of what we did not do, they died in spite of all that we did do.
Peace to you and your family.
Teri
mom to Ashley Nicole 6/29/99 - 10/11/01

Teri
Lake Havasu, az usa - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:13 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family,
We are so sorry for your loss. We know your pain. We hope our Matt was there to welcome your Matt into the gates of Heaven. Maybe they are playing computer games together right now. Please feel free to email if you would like to talk sometime. It has only been two weeks since our Matt's passing and if it helps to email, I am here. Blessings.
Noelle Conover
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:09 PM (CDT)

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I can't even start to say how sad I am, Ive never even spoken to mat, but from what ive seen, and read, he was a great guy that helped the FLF community greatly. My thoughts go out to his family, and I hope they can recover mentally.
Wilco3D
Herne Bay, England - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:01 PM (CDT)

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My heart goes out to your family. I am grateful to have known Mattiew. He was a very special boy and I always enjoyed his visits. Please know that your family is in our thoughts and prayers.
Angela Bernstein
O'Fallon, MO USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:57 AM (CDT)

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Hallemeier family ~
Matthew will never be forgotten! He has changed our lives forever. When I see how many people have signed his guestbook from all over the world - the impact he made on so many lives - it's truly awesome and overwhelming. How did he do this? Because of you. Because of the faith and love your family has shared with us, Matthew's life has inspired thousands of families from all over the world! Thank you so much for sharing his journey with us. I am honored to have been such a small part of it. Our prayers continue for peace for all of you.
Sending much love and friendship ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:47 AM (CDT)

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it's times like this that really do bring the tears... rip matt... we will never forget you
unknown
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:45 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, and Christopher,
My mom told me about Matthew yesterday, and I just read your journal entry. I am crying as I write this, and I cannot imagine what you all are going through. I know Matthew is with Jesus and in no pain, but I know how hard this must be to lose your child. We will continue to pray for all of you and may Jesus give you his love, strength, and peace. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:44 AM (CDT)

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I met Matt through Russell 'Doomaniac' Weed. I remember him as a warm, playful guy and it doesn't really sink in that he's gone.
His death is a great loss to the mod community and anyone who knew him.
David 'Commando' Starr
UK - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:33 AM (CDT)

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I am not even sure how I came across your page....I hope that you don't mind me stopping by. I was drawn to read about your son, as my little boy also had ALL. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you all. May you find peace. God bless you.
The family of Jackson Espeseth http://www.caringbridge.com/wi/jacksons.journey
Clear Lake, Wi - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:31 AM (CDT)

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Maith thú, slán leat.

"Of all the comrades that ever I had, they're sorry for my going away, and all the sweethearts that ever I had, they wished me one more day to stay. But since it falls unto my lot that I should rise and you should not, I'll gently rise and softly call, good night and joy be to you all."

Sean O'Doherty
Seattle, Washington US - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:28 AM (CDT)

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please sign this petition people. for matt..
http://www.petitiononline.com/w3luvzof/petition.html
Dan
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:25 AM (CDT)

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Matt, you are in our thoughts and our prayers... May you rest peacefully.
Mike 'XxplosivE' Gregoris
Toronto, Ontario Canada - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:18 AM (CDT)

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I didn't know matt nor played with him but this story reminded me of when my grandfather died in my arms he had a sudden heart attack while we where bringing him to the hospital, it was the most horrible thing in my life ...all i can say is that i know the feeling ...as if a angel came down and purged this being from your arms ... but in time you will be able to see matt again ... and of course you have his memeorys in your heart where you can always see him. Here is a small poem i wrote its short but sweet please read and think of matt as you are always.


In Darkness we see light ..
In Hard times we see our might...
In life we feel heavy pain and sorrow but we feel joy and happyness..
And depsite a life of pain .. we are blessed to be givin a new life after death ..
Please God ..Show me the way
sean "clarknova"
Las Vegas, NV U.S.A - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:13 AM (CDT)

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I am so sorry for your loss. May God bless and keep you close. I'm praying for all of you.
Gina Dalfonzo
Springfield, VA 22153 - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:12 AM (CDT)

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Even though we know what is coming we are never ready when it comes. I will always maintain that the hardest thing for a parent to go though is the loss of there child. We in NE will continue to pray for all of you. All of you try to remember that Matthew is in a better place were there is no pain or sorrow. This does not take away the pain of your loss but maybe it can be some comfort. God bless each of you. God is still in control! Praise God!!
Lisa L. Kalcik
Crete, NE USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:07 AM (CDT)

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I do not even play FLF, nor do I know Zofran, or Matthew. But I still want to show him some honor. Everyone should. Good luck from Iceland.
Ţorsteinn Vilhjálmsson
Reykjavík, Iceland - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 11:02 AM (CDT)

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I am so sorry for your loss.

Please keep your eyes and ears wide open for messages from Matthew that he is now happy, healthy, and at peace. I have had many "signs" (although I was never a believer in such things before my mom died), and I've found them tremendously comforting.

In time, your memories of the recent past will dim somewhat and happier ones will come to the surface. You did everything right.

It's not fair, but there are many of us who don't know you sending our love and thoughts for a peaceful future filled with beautiful memories of Matthew.
Emily
Newtown, CT - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:55 AM (CDT)

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I am thinking of you all so much. I pray that you find peace, now that Matthew has found peace.
Karen M., mom to Clare, ALL-Kids
Cabin John, MD - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:42 AM (CDT)

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Dont know what to say... i read the news and start crying... i never played against Matt, but i know hom from flf-forums and i loved his way of living FLF...

now he's gone - maybe to a better place... keep him in your mind, never forget him... i never will!

THX Matt for being what you were!

Carsten Heinrich aka [OPB]GameMASTER
Celle, DE Germany - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:35 AM (CDT)

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R.I.P Matt, you will be missed by all.
I lost contact with zofran a year ago when i stopped gaming and I regret it now, I knew he was sick... but I never knew how sick he really was. Also one of my best friends has leukemia and now I'm worried...
Zofran was one of the first to teach me counterstrike...
He will be missed by many ppl but remembered by all
He was only 16.... so much life ahead... so much life lost :/

never forget ppl... never forget...

[xeno]eskim0
Robin 'eskim0' Freeman
Oshawa, Ont Canada - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:32 AM (CDT)

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May God bless all of you. You can be proud of Matthew for fighting this horrible disease as long as he could. And I know your family has no regrets over the way you all spent the last few weeks of Matthew's life; he knew you loved him and that he loved you. I am so sorry for your loss. Know that Matthew is safe in Jesus' arms now and that he will never hurt again.
Judy Gargus
Murray, KY - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:29 AM (CDT)

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Queria dar el pesame a la familia de Matthew,os acompańo en el dolor que estais padeciendo ,Matthew cuidate estes donde estes,hasta siempre.

PD:perdonad el idioma.
Angel Cid (kusanagi)
Madrid, Espańa - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:20 AM (CDT)

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Your family are in our thoughts and prayers. We will always remember Matt laughter, he was a delight to have. He would come to our house with Benji and tease Lauren and Michelle. We were all reminising about him last night. He is at peace and smiling down with love for everyone.
The Stein's (Michael, Carol, Lauren and Michelle)
3627 Admiralton Drive, Bridgeton, MO 63044
Carol Stein
Bridgeton, MO USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:18 AM (CDT)

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Hey Zof, I never knew you, but after your post it brought me a few tears, i wish you the best of luck maybe we will all see you in the afterlife :)
Chris "Guerilla"
NY USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:18 AM (CDT)

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May the Lord keep His loving arms around you. May he guide you each day, especially these upcoming few weeks. May you feel His peace wash over you. It's okay to mourn Matt's loss. Just remember the promises God gave us... Thank you for the blessing your family has been. Thank you for sharing your life, especially at this difficult crossroad. You have touched more lives than you'll ever know...
Karen Robinson (from Benji's church)
St. Peters, MO USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:14 AM (CDT)

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So Sorry. Matthew is now at peace. Now it time for those left behind to begin healing.
Mary Vollrath
Imperial Beach, CA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:11 AM (CDT)

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I'm truly sorry for your loss, all I can say is that eventually it will get a bit easier, though you never recover from the loss of a loved one. I hope you can amidst all this grief still remember the good moments of the times when Matt was still with us, and find comfort in them. Again, my condolences, and I'm truly sorry.

--

Rest in peace Matt - Lepää rauhassa.
Christian Lindell
Imatra, Finland - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:10 AM (CDT)

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I am very sorry to hear about Matthew, he was a such a strong boy! Be Proud! Our prayers are with you and your family.
Cindy
Saint Charles, Mo USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:06 AM (CDT)

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What has happened to Matt and his family is something I would not wish on anyone. After being through an ordeal myself with my sister fighting for her life against leukemia and only just coming through the other side, it is truly horrific to hear of someone else suffering and losing out at the hands of this terrible disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I wish there was something more that could have been done for Matt. Rest in peace, all my love and prayers in this time of grief.
Greg Brooks
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:05 AM (CDT)

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May God Bless Matthew Hallemeier, his family, and his friends.
Ryan Jensen
FL USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:04 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Christopher, Julie, Brad and all the family,
You all are truly inspirations to everyone. Matthew was a remarkable young man and touched so many lives as has the entire Hallemaier family. He will never be forgotten. Please know that our prayers and thoughts are with you in your time of need. May the Lord grant you peace. We are so very sorry for your loss. Matthew's struggle is over and he is pain free and leukemia free.
Barb mom to Joey- All kids
Barb Tomlinson
Telford, PA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 10:04 AM (CDT)

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I was very sad to hear the passing of Matt. I am praying for him and your family. May he rest in peace.
Brandon Russell
Sumiton, AL USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:50 AM (CDT)

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=( RIP !
messenger
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:43 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, & Christopher:

The Apostle Paul wrote these words of comfort to the Thessalonians:

"But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.

For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

Wherefore comfort one another with these words."

(1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)

We pray: Dear Lord, comfort Dirk, Debbie, Julie, and Christopher at this time of Matthew's death. Fill their hearts with the hope of the resurrection. We thank You that the believer's death is called sleep. We believe that Jesus died and rose again. We also believe that one day soon we will be caught up together in the clouds with them who sleep in Jesus to meet the Lord in the air. We look forward to that triumphant day. We look forward to the return of Jesus. We look forward to meeting You in the air. We look forward to being forever with You in heaven. May Your words, dear Lord, bring comfort to Dirk, Debbie, Julie, and Christopher. May Your words, dear Lord, bring comfort to everyone who knew and loved Matthew. May Matthew's life and death lead others to believe in Jesus and to follow Him. We pray in the name of Jesus, who is the Resurrection and the Life! Amen.

Carl Mohme
Florissant, MO USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:40 AM (CDT)

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i'm so sorry man, tell me:
where was god when this happened?
well, you'r going to heaven everyone
knows that, and if now you'll be
sure having a life right now without
leukemia. i did'nt know you at all
but i'm sure you read this, matt,
buddy, i'm sure you had a good life,
except leukemia disturbed it,
a message to all people and his familly,
make life a candy, it does'nt matter
who, how or what you are, you'r a soul,
you'r something that wont be forgotten,
matt, rts is with you

\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/
\~~~~~~~~~~~MAY GOD BLESS MATT~~~~~~~~~~~~~/
\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He'll be back. Look at all creatures and you'll~
see a piece of matt in it, look at the sky and~
look whos there, look at the garden and hey,~~
look at your friends say, is'nt that matt?~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS: what is matt's favourite music?
Determinado
Wevelgem, Belgium - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:27 AM (CDT)

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ESTES DONDE ESTES ZOFRAN, SE FELIZ.
SIEMPRE ESTARAS EN NUESTRAS MENTES Y CORAZONES
Ovatha
Coslada, spain - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:25 AM (CDT)

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RIP
pielemuis
heusden, belgium - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:21 AM (CDT)

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Our prayers are with you and your family. God has better plans for Matthew now. He will be happy and will look over you. Hope to meet you when we visit our daughter JoAnn Gileza.
Eva and Frank Parentie-
Summerfield, FL USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:15 AM (CDT)

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My heart felt condolences for your loss.

Thank you for sharing Matt's story w/ all of us-he touched so many lives.


Teri Xavier
Nashville, TN - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:13 AM (CDT)

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I am so sorry for your loss. I only wish I had found out about Matthew before yesterday. Your family is in my prayers. Words just cannot explain my feelings right now.
Jason Shipman
Houston, TX USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:11 AM (CDT)

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Rest in peace my friend. Your memory will always be with us
Niket Patel
London, England - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:10 AM (CDT)

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Rest in peace, buddy
Tom Simpson
Portsmouth, England - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:08 AM (CDT)

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sorry the ][-==-][ actually is ][-=RTS=-][
but with <>><<>

hope this is right
Determinado
Wevelgem, Belgium - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:07 AM (CDT)

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May god be with you matt!

In name of all ][-==-][ members
i wich you the best,
YOU WONT DIE EVER
LIFE IS A GIFT
EVER MENTIONED HOW MANY GIFTS YOU GOTTEN?
Determinado
Wevelgem, Belgium - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:06 AM (CDT)

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......... forgot to add a quote, which i think is addequate :).

"From this day, till the ending of the world, we in in shall be remembered, we few, we happy few, we band of brothers"
u WILL be remembered zofran, dont worry about that.
Adam Hunt.....aka ......[Cavalier] <-The_0ne->
Chester, UK - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 09:00 AM (CDT)

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Condolences to all friends and family! Matthew was a strong lad. He mad me cry with joy with the strength and courage he had during his sickness and hoq he showed it to us all by keeping his sence of humour throughout the whole thing. Be Proud, very proud.
Lincoln "ForKmaN" Grant
Hobart, Tas Australia - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:58 AM (CDT)

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Well Zof, all i can say is rest in peace, enjoy it in heaven. Come visit, play FLF some time, :), peace out man, peace out.
Adam Hunt.....aka ......[Cavalier] <-The_0ne->
Chester, UK - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:56 AM (CDT)

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Dear Hallameier Family,

Our prayers are with you at this very difficult time. Thank you for making us a part of Matthew's last few days through your daily updates. May his soul rest in peace and God Bless your Family.
Jiten Shah father to Raj (pre-B ALL) from the ALL-Kids list
South Brunswick, nj USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:54 AM (CDT)

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I'm am very sorry for your loss. Try not to be sad. Matt is in a better place now. No more pain, tears or suffering for him. I know that people all over the world will morn for Matt. Alot of us did not know him well. But thanks to you we got to know him. He sounded like a very brave little boy. I know alot of people will miss him. Benji called me last night with the news. My thoughts and prayers are with all of his family and freinds. God Bless you for everything that you did for him.
Ellen Richards
St. Peters, MO USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:53 AM (CDT)

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I am so so sorry for your loss.
Debby
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:49 AM (CDT)

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My condolences to the friends and relatives of Matt. I didn`t know him but I heard he was a real great guy :<

May he rest in peace......
/me salutes

-kleineh
Daniel Luka (iNvasion Works)
Bremen, Germany - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:45 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
God Bless you.

Janet Schillinger
Saint Louis, MO USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:39 AM (CDT)

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What words can be enough to describe how much is the loss... I'm sure that Jesus has brough (taken) Mat with him in the most beautiful Heaven.
Condolences to the family.
Please, don't cry yet... now he is in the most beautiful of the places.
7wolf
Roma, IT Italy - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:26 AM (CDT)

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Our family is saddened by your lost, we just dont have the words to tell you how we feel.

We at Halflifemapping/ TFC will always remember Matthew.
Donnie Chesnutt
Channelview, Texas Harris - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:24 AM (CDT)

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I saw this link on a ec board in parentsplace, and then read Matt's story.What a star. I lost a relative to cancer very quickly 2 years ago (at 42 not young but certainly not old) and I admire you all for the control you show in your feelings toards this hateful disease that takes those precious to us from our sides. Sorry isn't a word that covers it or the pain that you must feel, but in one look at your pictures the love and feeling jumps right out at you and smacks you clear in the heart.....what a gift to have shared so much love. Please know now that you each carry a piece of this extraordinary young man's soul in your hearts and that he travels side by side with you in your journies through life. The world was surely a brighter place with his existence and now the light here seems a little dimmer. I know that to lose one of my own children my heart would surely break....a miscarraige at 18-20 weeks left me scarred for years so I cannot even imagine what it would be like to lose a child I had shared years with....but you have so much love and support in this journey and I hope that love will light the way for you. My deepest condolences to you all.
"Nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold, her early leaf's a flower, but only so an hour...then leaf subsides to leaf, as eden sank to grief....So Dawn goes down to day, for nothing Gold can stay" (Robert Frost) ....Matt....gold forever x x x x x x Jojo
Jojo Worley
Bristol, n/a England, UK - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:23 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers go to you and your entire family. I know this has probably been said, but Mathew is in a better place now, able to enjoy the love and memories of such a wonderful, caring family.
Paul Blanchard
Washington, DC USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:22 AM (CDT)

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No words can express the grief and empathy I have for your pain. Matt and your family have been examples of the courage that we can only aspire to have. Matt will now have the life he should have had, and we can only hope that we can appreciate the gift we have been given by getting to know Matt and your entire family.
Karin Mika
Berea, Ohio USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:16 AM (CDT)

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You will come through it. Sorry to hear this.
Jerri_111
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:02 AM (CDT)

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No words can express how sorry I am for you. No reasons can be given for what happened. Your son was a true warrior and I will never forget him or his amazing strength and courage. I'm glad he no longer has to feel the pain. He made an impact on a lot of people will be missed. Peace forever Matt Hallemeier.
Bo Mathis(father of DOUBLE M)
www.caringbridge.com/fl/champ
Boynton Beach, Florida - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:52 AM (CDT)

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I am just in awe of your family. Matthew was as blessed to have you as you were to have him for 16 years. Even though my sister-in-law is a very fortunate 7-year BMT survivor, there isn't a day go by when we aren't praying for a cure for this disease. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you at this time.
Aimee Reif
Olathe, KS USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:47 AM (CDT)

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Thank you for bringing such an incredible individual into this world. The time he spent here had such an impact on so many lives that I am certain he is adjusting his wings at this moment. His loss is felt by so many. Our hearts and prayers go out to you all. God Bless.
iNvasion Works Team
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:46 AM (CDT)

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i had never heard of zofran before today, but now i wish i had. even though i haven't even chatted or played with him, i still feel really sad :( i read the goodbye forum post on flf forums, and i really did feel bad. it must have taken some courage to face up to death and spit in his eye. let's hope he's happy, wherever.
Kefka
Wales - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:34 AM (CDT)

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I woke up this morning and started browsing the net expecting to visit my normal sites....when i came across a link to your son's goodbyes on the FLF forums. I dont play FLF but when I saw that, I had to say or do something...At this point, Sorries seem so insignificant. But, I am truly sorry for the pain that you all have had to suffer. It's not right for someone to go through at his young or for any age for that matter! My spine is shuddering everytime I think of what you all have had to go through.....i will pray for your family and your son....farwell
Justin
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:16 AM (CDT)

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"Peace be with you" Jesus said twice to his beloved ones after his resurrection from the grave. Peace be with you Debbie, Dirk, Julie & Christopher. Thank you Father God for bringing Matthew home. Please help this family persevere in the hope that they will see Matthew again in heaven. Thank you for bringing Matthew into our lives. Thank you for the heroic battle that he fought. Thank you that he is out of pain. Thank you that he is now rejoicing with the angels!

You remain in my prayers..
Judy Blicharz
McLean, VA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:13 AM (CDT)

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My heart felt sympathy to the family. Peace be with you.
Mark Pace
Tallahassee, fl USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:10 AM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier Family:
I am another "stranger" who has been following Matt's story for a couple months now. I checked his updates daily and prayed for him daily as well. I just don't know what to say to you dear people. You are such an amazing, loving family. I am heartbroken that you've lost your darling son, but he's alway with you in your hearts and souls. You did a beautiful job of always showing your love for him. I know your amazing love and strength must have been a great comfort to him. Although I didn't know Matt, I will miss him. My best to your family. Susie
Susie, 36
Colorado Springs, CO - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 07:10 AM (CDT)

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This is just one of those times where words are seem so indadequate.....I feel relieved that Matthew is in Paradise with our Savior, that there is no longer any pain, sadness, fear, or uncertainty for him. I also feel incredibly sad that you must suffer through the loss of your beautiful son. Know that he has touched so many people in his short time on earth...that he has left a piece of himself in every person that has visited this website or ever met him. Thank you for graciously sharing Matthew and his struggle with all of us. He has emerged victorious!
I pray that God gives you the strength that you need to make it through each day. You sound like a warm, close, and loving family and I feel blessed to have been able to come and get to know you all.
God bless,
The O'Briens...Anne, Jim, Erin, and Matthew (ALL-KIDS)
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:28 AM (CDT)

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Farewell Matt , you'll be sorely missed not only by your family , and all those friends you made online , but by everyone I think who has read this.

To Matt's family - my deepest sympathies , I lost my Mother to the same thing and I know it's hard. But he isn't in pain anymore and will be in a better place.

I'm sure he'll keep an eye on all of us :)

Steven "Hot Soup" Duffy
Paisley, Scotland - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:14 AM (CDT)

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As an FLF player, I am deeply touched by this loss. It's not about how you die or when you die, it's what you do with your life that counts.

Good luck up there.
Alexandre Gagné - BloodlusT
Montreal, QC Canada - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 06:14 AM (CDT)

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I am crying.........tears of relief & joy, for Matthew, who is now out of pain and is in that most beautiful place, Heaven........ tears of pain & sorrow for all of Matthew's wonderful family and friends.........tears of anger and frustration, that another precious child has been taken by this wretched disease.
I'm just SO sorry.
Thoughts and prayers are with you all. Please take care of yourselves.

Matt, "THE CHAMP", I've never known of anyone who fought so hard to stay, as you did.
I will be looking for another "CHAMPION" *STAR* in the sky tonight!

Debbie, thank you for your constant updates, especially over the last difficult weeks. As a mother, my special thoughts are with you. I'm sorry.
Lots of love and cuddles from,

Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany
XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO

the Cruickshank family (ALL-KIDS)
Melbourne, VIC. AUSTRALIA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 05:21 AM (CDT)

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. As a father, I can't begin to imagine what you must be feeling.

Know that God is with you, and Matthew as well. My thoughts and prayers are with your entire family at this difficult time.
Doug Rickenback
Riverside, CA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:46 AM (CDT)

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our prayers go out to you and your family rest in peace.
sorry it had to end this way you,will never be forgotten matt.The australian FLF community is deeply saddened at your loss.gg matt gg
mark
australia, - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:45 AM (CDT)

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I believe i played flf with you maybe once or twice. and today I am just quite shocked..I never stop to think when I'm playing an online game, that these people are real, with real problems and real emotions. Today, that fact has changed. I will think before I speak. and for this, I thank you.
expjames91
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:36 AM (CDT)

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I didn't realize until just now that Matthew has already passed.

To the family, and friends... I extend my most sincear remorse for the lost of your son, and friend. No words I say can diminish the anguish you are feeling right now.

I pray that God be with you, and bless you in this difficult time.

Your son is in my prayers.


Julian J. Higgins
Palm Harbor, FL USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:23 AM (CDT)

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I have never played FLF, nor do I know exaclly who you are and what you have done... but my heart is with you as you travel through this painful ordeal.

May God bless and be with you, my friend.
Julian J. Higgins
Palm Harbor, FL USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 04:15 AM (CDT)

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I don't know what to say, I just found out about all of this about 2 hours ago. This was truly a remarkable person that touched the lives of so many people. This story of love and hope and friendship will remain in my thoughts forever.
Hardcore KNIFE!
Lafayette, IN USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 03:37 AM (CDT)

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I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious son and brother. I hope your memories of happier times and of his great courage and strength bring you all peace and comfort. While I have no words that can ease your pain, know that you all are in my prayers.
Denise Ward
Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:56 AM (CDT)

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I lost my closest cousin about 3 weeks ago, I know how it is to lose a loved one...You Will Be In My Prayers Matt!
Josh
Hillsboro, Or US - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:55 AM (CDT)

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Wow. An amazing story. I guess it's hard to know what to say... I read every word in this whole thing, it's late and I can't sleep. And, wow. I can't believe what you have all been through... I will keep you all in my thoughts.
Sean Birdsell aka [STING]oddity_eh
Stony Plain, AB Canada - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:46 AM (CDT)

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Man, Even thouhg I didn't ever know matt or see him play or talk with him, man, I want to give my strongest regards and my most heartfelt prayers are going out to Matt's family. Matt sounds like a great guy and an offer to be a part in this amazing expirience really shows how many poeple loved and adored him. The amazing amount of reponse about this leaves me the impression that the whole HL comunity would have loved matt and I am glad to be able to say that Matt is been one of the most amazing examples of the true online computer geeks :) We all loved him, even thouhg we don't know him. My prayers go to him and his family. Rest In Peace matt, and hopefull we'll all be able to see you up their when our day comes.


Morgan Smith
Paradise Valley, AZ USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:33 AM (CDT)

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People say they love something..but do they really love them at that time, or is it when its all gone and u dont know what happened to them,it,it could have been something u liked, your fav. toy or something but there is one thing here and that Matt's family loved him and i hope them the best of luck.... WE dont relize what we miss till its all gone i dont know but Matt was a great kid and sorry that he cant be with his family best of luck to them
Lee Nelson
Round Rock , Tx - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:31 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son.
Jo
Crestview, FL - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:28 AM (CDT)

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Im too sad to post anything long , I knew matt from his gaming experinces online . We talked alot online and im sure he would of wanted to post this so I did. Good luck matt up there with all the good folks :) . Im so sorry for his parents , I would be very sad if I lost such a great kid .
Eric Pelezo
Shreveport, LA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:18 AM (CDT)

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I'd like to start off by saying that I'm very sry to hear bout matt's passing. I'd also like to express my deepest sympathies to his family, and say that Matt was a great guy and he will ALWAYS be remembered in the FLF community as an awesome person and a outstanding player. I just wish that I could have got to know him better than i did. God willing, we'll meet some time. R.I.P man.
Michael Fazely - aka -[cA]-Striker
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:15 AM (CDT)

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hello,i dont know you at all,but i wanted to send you you this even so because i am thinking and praying for you,and wanted to let you know so. i actually found the link to this site on an "expecting club" board,for august. im not expecting in august,but in mid september to early october. i would have been expecting in august had my pregnancy before lasted. you see,i have "lost" five babies to miscarriage (one set of twins) in the last year,the last miscarriage being in december. so i sort of was "torturing" myself to see how the women whose pregnancies have continued were doing,and its hard to read and i dont know why i go to those boards. but i found this link,so i think maybe god wanted me to go there,so that i might pray for you. i hate that you have to know the pain of losing a child. when i saw the pictures,i wanted to hug him. but above all,i wanted to give you the cahnce to hug him and hold him again,to give him back to you. i am so sorry that i cant do that,but i am also happy to know that someday,we WILL be able to hold our children again,and they wont ever ever die,we will have them with us forever in heaven. its horrible not to have them here with us though,isnt it? but i do take comfort in knowing that our children are somewhere wonderful,and we WILL get to see them again. how could anyone take someone dying without dying themself without the knowledge that there is a god,that there is heaven? i dont know how,but im glad i know the lord and i love knowing the end is not the END. my husband and i will be praying for you,and we are desperately sorry for your loss,its so so hard. i wish that never happened,to you or to anyone. that all people knew was health. i hate that things dont work that way,and im so sorry you had to find that out firsthand. hugs love and many prayers to you all..

ps,i am only 19 myself and it makes me sad to see such young,young people get so sick. im not saying its somehow less painful for people to lose an older family member,but it seems to have more reason behind it. we understand how older people can get sicker,or their body stops being able to work as well. but when young people die,you have to wonder WHY a body that is so young and should be so strong can get SO sick *sighs* i am so sorry..i dont know what more to say and i know that "im sorry" certainly isnt enough,but it is truth..
M.T.
"Charlotte", SC USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:43 AM (CDT)

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TO MATT'S FAMILY---------MY DAUGHTER, LAURA PIPER, CALLED ME ABOUT AN HOUR AGO TO TELL ME OF MATT'S DEATH. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOUR FAMILY AND PRAY GOD'S SPECIAL STRENGTH AND COMFORT IN THE DAYS AHEAD. HE HAS PROMISED TO HEAL THE BROKEN-HEARTED AND TO COMFORT THOSE WHO MOURN-AND HIS WORD IS TRUE AND TRUST-WORTHY. MY HEART-FELT PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS GO OUT TO YOU. DANI'S "GRAMMA GINNY"
VIRGINIA M. DUNFEE
WATERLOO, IA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:27 AM (CDT)

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My regards, Matt was a great guy.
Benjamin Pinilla
St. Louis, MO Ballwin - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:21 AM (CDT)

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zof, matt-

from teh day i met you online i knew you were a cool guy. doing what i'm doing now brings tears to my eyes, the only thing i can say is that i love you man, and i wish that your family can get through the pain as best as possible. everyone that knew you walks away from this with so much more, by you giving so much.

thankyou
Mike
Michael Gangl, aka ghetto-ninja
sammamish, wa 98075 - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:20 AM (CDT)

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I didn't know Matt at all, i happend to stumble across a memorial made for him by the FLF community. He's the type of person you see online, trying to make everyone's life a bit better and bringing a bit of laughter into everyone's life. His life long struggle is nothing short of heroic. I only hope these words bring some comfort to his family. I only hope you are in a better place, wherever you are. R.I.P
Pants_less (Eden)
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:13 AM (CDT)

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im so sorry to hear that matt passed away :( he was a good friend of mine that i meet while playing online and he was a very cool guy to just sit around and chat with. he was just an all around great guy! gah, it hurts to know that this happens to people so young and who are such good people :/. i for one will never forget him and keep his family in my prayers...
Andrew Tiblier (BuLLeT)
York, SC USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 01:12 AM (CDT)

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I only knew Matt for a little while and I luved him...
he waz a great kid\man very smart and giving to all around
him and had a great sence of humor... az I writte this I am cying and wishing it waz me and not him... I got to grow up and he didn't that iz not fair... "I LUV YOU MATT" though on the servers I hated him cuz he would PwNz me so bad but I luv him any way. I Will Miss you man...:( CosaNostra Salutes You MATT (Zofran)!!!
[CosaNostra]-Master (Larry)
Portland , Or USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:58 AM (CDT)

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Debbie - I am so sorry. Thinking of you and your family.
Jill (Alex's mom)
Manhattan Beach, CA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:57 AM (CDT)

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I feel the pain you are going threw. My grandfather was diagnosed with Leukimia just lasst week. God bless's your family and i pray for you daily. Matt was a great young man and will be missed
|HCC|RaPtOr -- (Graham)
- Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:23 AM (CDT)

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Our family also understands your pain and sorrow you are feeling. Please feel free to email me. Matthew lived knowing he was loved and cherished by wonderful family and friends. He has left a lasting impression on countless people. Cherish the memories, he lives on in your hearts forever.

Angel Delaney's Family, Bob, Amy, Kevin-10, and Angel Delaney
www.caringbridge.com/ca/delaney

Amy Wright, Mom of Angel Delaney and Kevin, age 10
San Diego, CA USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:23 AM (CDT)

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I am truly saddened by your loss. Matthew seemed like such an exceptional young man. His battle was very courageous and I'm sure inspires many. I'm somewhat pleased to know that Matthew is without pain and in a glorious place with our Lord. May God continue to bless you as you go through this tough time. Will remember you all in my prayers.
Sheryl Clubb
Eureka, MO USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:22 AM (CDT)

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I wish I could give you words, but walking this similar road there really are none. Hold onto each other tightly and I'm praying for you and your family. I hope that Jordyn greeted Matt at Heaven's Gates along with all the other beautiful children that have went before him.
God Bless and Sending Prayers
Christy Fitzpatrick...Angel Jordyn's Mommy
Fort Riley, KS USA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:22 AM (CDT)

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It pains me greatly to hear of Matt's passing. He fought the sickness with courage and determination, even though he is just a teenager. Hallemeier family, please take care, and I hope you will all find comfort soon.

Damon Lok
Richmond, Canada - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:21 AM (CDT)

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I can't say i know how matt's family is feeling right now, but i wish you the best of luck and to remember the good times you've had with him. good luck to you and god bless
matt
austin, tx us - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:19 AM (CDT)

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I understand the pain you feel, the tremendous hole left by the absence of your son and the rough and rocky road you will travel ahead of you. ALL is a horrible disease that takes young lives way too soon. Connie
Mom to Rebecca, forever 18
ALL (leukemia)diagnosed Oct.2, 1990
June 29,1982 - December 24, 2000
and to Hannah 16, Tabitha 13 and Tamar 11
http://www.heavenlylights.homestead.com (page 5)
http://www.geocities.com/rebeccatruelsch/index.html

connie
cleveland, oh usa - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 12:03 AM (CDT)

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My best wishes go to you and your family.
Matt Schneider, [iG] Krypt
Indianapolis, IN USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 11:43 PM (CDT)

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Know that Matthew will always be looking down from the heavens above and watching over all you everyday! He is where we will all be someday as long as we have faith and believe. Matthew was a true hero!
Cullan Couleas
Maryland Heights , MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 11:30 PM (CDT)

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I wish I could take away all of your pain. Hearts are grieving and rejoicing all over the world for heaven's new addition. Matthew was a brave young man and has touched so many lives. He is sitting on a cloud smiling down at his beautiful, loving family. You are an incredibly strong family blessed with Matthew as your guardian angel. Much love to you all.
Kelli Petermeyer
Murray, KY - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 11:03 PM (CDT)

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Mine and my wife's thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Having lost two friends (one within the last year and a half) to lukemia, I know the struggle you and your family have gone thorugh during the last few years of your life. You are a courageous soul and have fought the good fight. May your family find peace knowing that you are in a better place now. May God give your family peace in knowing this.....
Matt Akin - [iG] Revelation (www.indygamers.com)
Waukesha, WI - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 11:03 PM (CDT)

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My father passed away from AML just over a year ago, and was treated at Barnes also. Leah sent me to your webpage from an August 2002 expecting group we are both on. My Dad always loved this poem, I hope it brings you comfort in your time of sadness.... My deepest sympathy to you and your family
Death is nothing at all- I have only slipped away into the next room. Whatever we were to each, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Laugh as we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of your mind because I am out of your sght? I am but waiting for you for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well. Nothing is past. Nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before, only better, infinitely happier and forever- we will all be one together in Christ.
Author Unknown
Annie King
St. Louis, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:55 PM (CDT)

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Hallemeier Family,

I could sit here at this keyboard and type to you about how sorry I am, because I am very sorry. However, I feel a little jealous of Matthew because he is up in Heaven with the Lord and everyone's loved ones who have passed away. I would like to share something with you:

"The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again."
--- Joseph Smith

I will continue to pray for peace for all of you.

In and Through Christ,
Elizabeth

Think of all of the years that you have had with your Matthew... That is how long God has been waiting for him.
Elizabeth Wriker - 20 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes
Enid, OK USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:51 PM (CDT)

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You are in our thoughts and prayers. Our deepest sympathy to your family on the loss of your son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend. You have been an inspiration to all of us and we are praying for you during this difficult time. There are not words that can ease your pain but please know that Matthew's story touched so many and you are a remarkable family. Everyone should be so lucky to have such wonderful parents. You did everything you could to cure him and when that wasn't possible, you did everything you could to keep him comfortable. I'm sure he is looking upon you now and saying "Thanks Mom and Dad and I love you." He is now cancer free and at peace in God's loving arms.

Chris Meier
Ballwin, MO 63021 - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:44 PM (CDT)

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You will all remain in my prayers.
Pam Haddock, mom to Deiah (16) preB,ALL, dx4/00 high risk
Sylva, NC - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:38 PM (CDT)

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Holy Sonnet


Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
for those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy picture be,
much pleasure,
then from thee much more must flow,
and soonest our best men with thee do go,
rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
and dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
and poppy, or charms can make us sleep as well,
and better than thy stroke;
why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
and Death shall be no more;
Death, thou shalt die.


John Donne (1571-1631)

A Fellow Leukemia Patient
- Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:37 PM (CDT)

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Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. You have all been through so much and our hearts go out to each and every one of you. Matthew was very strong throughout this whole disease, but now you can know that he will rest at ease with God. We know this is a tough time for you and we will continue to pray each and every day for your family. God Bless you all!
Jason and Sherry Karstens
St. Louis, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:36 PM (CDT)

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Dirk, Debbie and Family,
Words cannot express the feelings that I have going out for your entire family this evening. Although I started out as only a stranger to you (after getting the website from Alex and Matt Pearls website), I feel as if I know you quite well. It has been a long journey for you all and I'm very saddend about the loss of Matthew, but knowing he has received the peace that he so desperatly deserved makes me more at ease. I will continue to pray for strength and courage for all. You are wonderful parents and same for the other siblings...Matthew was so blessed to have people so strong by his side. God Bless you all and may peace be with you.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens
Sullivan, IL - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:32 PM (CDT)

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My heart goes out to all of you. You've been through such a terrible time! I'm so sorry Matt had to suffer so much, and no one could stop his pain. I'm glad for him that it's over now, and this is the time for you to heal. I hope that you will concentrate on the good memories and try to let go of the bad ones. May the days ahead be peaceful and healing for you. We love you all and admire the strength you've shown. Best wishes to you all.
Your cousin in California, Barb Cary

Barbara Cary
Bellflower, CA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:29 PM (CDT)

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My heart goes out to all of you. You've been through such a terrible time! I'm so sorry Matt had to suffer so much, and no one could stop his pain. I'm glad for him that it's over now, and this is the time for you to heal. I hope that you will concentrate on the good memories and try to let go of the bad ones. May the days ahead be peaceful and healing for you. We love you all and admire the strength you've shown. Best wishes to you all.
Your cousin in California, Barb Cary

Barbara Cary
Bellflower, CA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:29 PM (CDT)

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As sad as we all are to see you leave us, we know in our hearts that your a hero. When times got tough, you fought. When the battle became overwhelming, you fought. When it seemed like all hope was lost, you still fought back. You never let the disease get the better of you.
"The fight may be over, but the legacy lives on." God Bless You Matt, and your Family.
Sean Aikins, Code[BBA]Zero
Noblesville, IN USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:28 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,Dirk,Christopher, and Julie,
We wanted you to know that we will continue to pray for all of you. You should be so proud of Matthew and how many lives he touched in his short life. He was a very special young man.
Joe,Lisa,Elyssa and Dominic
The Donato Family
O'Fallon, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:19 PM (CDT)

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Prayers for Matthew and all of you. I'm so sorry.
Kathy Mehl
Davidsonville, MD USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:19 PM (CDT)

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I'm so sorry to hear of Matthew's passing. You don't know me, but his story really touched me. I will pray for comfort and healing for your family.
Lucy
- Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:18 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,
I'm saddened to hear of the loss of your beautiful child. I never met Matthew; but I often thought of him, and how hard he struggled to live. I will often think of Matthew as I watch my own sixteen-year-old nephew go through life. Matthew has reminded us all to be grateful that we have today and tomorrow to look forward to. My heart goes out to your family as you heal from the loss of Matthew.
Heidi Rood
O'Fallon, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:14 PM (CDT)

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My tears are those of happiness for Matthew who is at peace. They are also tears of sorrow for his loving family and friends who will miss him so much. May God continue to hold you and comfort you and grant you the peace only He can through His love. You will remain in my heart and my prayers. Thank you once again for allowing those of us who have never met to come to know a young man and his family who have taught many of God's lessons through their example. God Bless you all.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDs
emmie
River Grove, IL - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:13 PM (CDT)

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Matthew is in the best place he could possbily be in right now. He is now free of suffering and pain, and peaceful, in God's loving arms. I have prayed for Matthew and your family for many weeks now - and I know that all will be good, now that Matthew is in such a peaceful place.
Mike Gilkey
Lexington, KY USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:13 PM (CDT)

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Dear Heavenly Father, whose Son Jesus Christ received children into His arms and blessed them, give us grace and understanding to entrust the soul of Matthew to Your never-failing care and love. Heal our aching hearts; comfort all who mourn so that, casting every care upon You, we may know the consolation of Your love; through Jesus Christ our Lord we pray. Amen
Bill Kaber
St.Charles, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:09 PM (CDT)

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I know Matthew has joined my son Wester in heaven and Wester is showing him the "ropes" I felt relief reading his passing today. He is in the arms of Jesus, he is out of pain and waiting for his family to join him in heaven. I have never met Matthew, I was referred here by the Ebay Giving Board and I am so glad I got to be here to pray for y'all. Please remember I am here and I have an online support group called Angels N Waiting if you ever want to join. Email me. Hugs Christy Grasmick
Christy Grasmick
CO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:07 PM (CDT)

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My prayers and my thoughts are with all of you tonite. Although I have never met any of you, I checked on the site every day. By the messages on the guestbook, Matthew has touched so many lives across the globe What an awesome feat for someone so young. I will pray for the strength your family will need in the days to come.
Lisa Lauman
St. Louis, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:06 PM (CDT)

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After I received the news today of Matthew's death I had such mixed feelings. I am so happy that he is no longer in pain and is in the BEST place ever, but I am so sad for your whole family. It has sent the feelings of the grief process flooding back to me as we were in your shoes following Jeremy's death 2 years ago. You will continue to be in our prayers. God will give you strength to get through these days. As we talked earlier, Matthew and Jeremy are the lucky ones!!
LouAnn and Tom Wicker
St. Charles, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:04 PM (CDT)

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Matthew is waiting for you on the other shore. It will be a joyous reunion one day. We will continue to pray for you all.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger (ALLKIDS)
Alameda, CA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:56 PM (CDT)

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May the Lord comfort your family at this time. Matt is at peace and is with Jesus now. There is no better place to be.
Thank you for keeping his website and letting his friends all around the world know of his life. He is loved by many and will be missed.

God bless you,
Tracy Chappell
Bridgeton, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:54 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family:
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
May God bless you and most of all, Matt.
Edythe Reeves
Hopkinsville, KY USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:51 PM (CDT)

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hello debb and family.i realy dont know what im going to say, but we are thankfull that for haveing such a friend as matt. we will miss him, till we see him again.yes i have hope to see matt again in heaven.just think he is with jesus , rite now. wow that is some powerfull thinking. he has a new body already.i have 3 brothers and 1 sister up there and i know they greated him at the gate.NO more pain or suffering.only everlasting peace.i know if he had a choice to come back to this earth. he would say . no way, its to good up here,there is nothing bad up here.i hope to see al of my family and friends up here someday thank for being there for me ,god is as good as he said he was. he and he always was. love and prayers always RONNIE, MILLIE< BENJI REVELLE
Ron Revelle
Bridgeton, mo U S A - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:50 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie, Dirk, Julie, and Christopher,

Just wanted to say our prayers are with you.

The Wells Family, Debi and Christopher
Galloway, OH, The United States of America - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:49 PM (CDT)

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The sadness you are feeling is felt by all of us. Matthew gave it a great fight. The loss her on earth, is the Lord's gain in heaven. We will be praying for you and your extended family.


www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore
Anita
Sikeston, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:43 PM (CDT)

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Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May you find comfort in knowing that Matt is not suffering anymore and he is in a Great Place now. God Bless you and your family in the days ahead.
The Millers- Jeff, Kim, Jordan, Lindsay & Kayla
Bridgeton, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:42 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie, Dirk, Julie, and Christopher,

There are no words, only tears. I am so truly sorry that you have joined the club. I wish I had wise words to offer, but there are none. I hope that as time goes by, you will find the good peaceful memories of Matthew to hold onto. Remember I am hear/here for you. Please do not hesitate to call me if you need to. You are not allow in your suffering.

Love,
Leah
Leah
Richmond, VA usa - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:41 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, Julie & Christopher, I am praying extra hard for yall tonight. I am so sorry for your loss. I know that no words can really help... Yall are such a great family... I will miss your Matthew with out ever really knowing him.
God Bless
Susan
Mobile, AL - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:37 PM (CDT)

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No more pain, no more suffering, no more tears, for Matthew is certainly in a better place and he now lacks nothing. For this I thank God, especially for all his amazing grace and mercy in which he has given us. Matthew is walking those streets of gold and praising our Lord. We cry for the obvious reason of missing him but I find so much strength & peace knowing he has been made perfect in the arms of Christ.

May God give you the peace & strength that only he can provide.

Our prayers are with you,

Steven & Kelly Hicks (Sarah Anne's parents)
Birmingham, AL - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:32 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, Christopher and Julie,
I am so sorry for your lost. Please cherish the memories that you have of sweet Matthew and I pray that you all will find strength and courage in knowing that Matthew is in The Kingdom of Heaven right by God and is no longer in any pain.
May God watch over you and guide you.
Love-In-Christ,

Dawn Gresham - ALL Kids
Warrenville, SC - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:20 PM (CDT)

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Matt was an incredible person. I wish I had the chance to know him a lot longer than I did. He had one of the most beautiful attitudes I have ever known in a person. He was always positive, and a great leader in the Frontline gameing community. I honestly don't think that there isnt a person that knew him that wasn't touched by his personality in some sort of way. Matt we all love you. God Bless.
Kris Henning (a.k.a. Che)
Hopkinsville, KY USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:19 PM (CDT)

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I told my Olivia to welcome Matthew to heaven, to give him a big hug and smile. My heart hurts with you, and even as I know there are no words to ease your pain,still I look for them. You will see your son again,all of us whose children have become angels will see them again in heaven. love,
Tameria Olivia's mommy
St Louis, - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:19 PM (CDT)

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Sorry for the double entry but this just came to my heart right after I posted the last entry and I just feel compelled to share it with you---hopefully you won't think it too long, but it's my favorite song and as I lose friends to life threatening illnesses (i have aplastic anemia so i have lots of sick friends from being at the hospital so much) it makes me smile through the tears...

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk, by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When your face is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall?
Will i sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine, I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes
And I find myself, standing in the Son (sun)
I can only imagine when all I would do
Is forever, forever worship you
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when all I would do,
Is forever, forever worship you...

that's by Mercy Me

and an excerpt from another one is...(in an effort not to make this incredibly long)

if you could see me now, i'm walkin streets of gold
if you could see me now, i'm standin tall and whole
if you could see me now, you'd know i've seen His face
if you could see me now, you'd know the pain's erased
you wouldn't want me to ever leave this perfect place
if you could only see me now...if you could see me now

:) God bless you guys. I'll continue to check on you
Khalita
Durham, NC - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:18 PM (CDT)

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We are so sorry, god bless you all Michele Barry, and Tessa
Michele Lafantaisie
OTTAWA, - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:16 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier family,
I will continue to pray for all of you. My heart goes out to you for all that you have had to endure. Matt no longer needs our prayers, for he is peacefully sleeping in the loving arms of our Lord. I pray that God grants all of you the strength to get thru the next several days, weeks and months. God be with each and every one of you.
Debbie Cleveland
St. Charles, Mo USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:12 PM (CDT)

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And I say the words that Jesus said, "It is finished!" I know that God is with you. Let Him hold you--He will. Know that you all are continually in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings and strength to you in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
Khalita C Jones
Lexington, NC - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:09 PM (CDT)

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My heartfelt sympathies to your family, along with a glad heart that sweet Matthew is out of his pain and in Jesus' arms.
Laura Piper, ALL-Kids
Hampton, IA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:08 PM (CDT)

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As a complete stranger I sit here in tears for you...tears for pain that I cannot begin to fathom (as the mother of four very young children) and tears of joy that the battle you all have waged is now over and that young Matthew is now free of all pain. My thoughts, prayers - and tears - are with you.

Yesterday morning (Sun) I sang Amazing Grace, acapella, at my church. I prayed that while I sang that song - that even though you had no knowledge of me - that God would provide you peace during the time I was singing - I pray that you received it.
Nancy Clark
Chesterfield, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:08 PM (CDT)

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I'm so very sorry for your loss and I am sure you know this but your son was an amazing person! He will be missed by so many people. GG Zof, you will never be forgotten in our little community, in our little flf family.. you will always be remembered. Our legend.. gg.
Trisha
London, Canada - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:07 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,Dirk,Julie and Christopher,
No words can express how you must feel right now. We are very sorry for your loss but at the same time happy that Matthew is in no further pain. Remember the words from my 4 year old that I wrote earlier..."Matthew will be the brightest star in the sky that you can talk to anytime." You have a remarkable family and a very special angel in Heaven. Hold on to each other tight, remember the good times and may God Bless you all.
You'll remain in our prayers.
Anita, Michael, Kailee and Ashlee Bernardo
Anita Bernardo
Granada Hills, CA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:07 PM (CDT)

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I did not know Matt very well, but from what I did know, he is a great loss to not only your family, but the world as well. We will miss him in our gaming community.
Tammy Lee
Jacksonville, FL 32224 - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:04 PM (CDT)

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there's nothing that can be said about this. sorry is the best i can do.
steven "nxs" serrano (an online friend of matt's)
queens, ny us - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:03 PM (CDT)

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I have been keeping up with Matthew and your family for about a month and a half now and cannot express how heavy my heart has been for your family especially in the past couple of weeks. Matthew will be at peace knowing he has had unconditional love of those who mean the most to him. You have certainly touched my life as I have 3 children - one being a 16 year old son. I have the utmost respect for all of you, and will continue to keep your family in my prayers. God Bless You.
Barb Maubach
Normal, IL - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:58 PM (CDT)

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Matt showed everyone the courage to fight a battle. He has truly touched without a doubt so many lives. The impact is tremondous. I'm sending hugs and more hugs to you and your family during this rough time. With all our love the Lindsay family
Deedee
- Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:57 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, & Christopher,
My heart hurts with you! I love you in The Lord, and will pray for His powerful comfort and strength for you all. "God IS our refuge and strength. A very present help in trouble. ... The Lord of hosts IS with us; The God of Jacob IS our refuge."-Psalm 46:1, 7 "Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?"-Psalm 56:8 "Be my strong refuge, To which I may resort continually; You have given the commandment to save me, For YOU are my rock and my fortress."-Psalm 71:3. And I especially cling to Romans 8:37-39.
With Love,
Bob & Lu Wilkins
LuAnn "Lu" Wilkins (NRBMLC)
Spartanburg, SC USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:57 PM (CDT)

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I just heard the sad news. However good news for MATT, he WILL BE MISS SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Matt is pain free and in good hands. We will all have him in our memories and in our hearts and forever in our minds.
Thanks for sharing this part of his life with all of us. My prayers are with you in your time of loss.
Tina Hodgkins
Florissant, Mo - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:57 PM (CDT)

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I'm sorry for your loss my thoughts and prayers are with you
Deborah-IceBluLady
Groveport, OH USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:55 PM (CDT)

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May the love and peace of Jesus Christ warm your hearts at this most difficult time.Matthew is smiling at us now as he enjoys the beauty of heaven and being at God's side. I'll never forget the strength he had and his willingness to beat all odds. His life has been example to me--I'll always remember the lessons he has taught me.We are deeply sorry for your loss.We're still praying. Love,The Salems
Lisa, Steve, and Catherine Salem
St. Charles, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:55 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Christopher, and Julie,
I am so sorry to hear about Matthew...his honor and courage were truly amazing. I know he is at peace watching over all of the children giving them strength and courage. God Bless Matthew and your family.
Love
Christine (mom to Nicole)
Chris Apollo
E. Northport, NY USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:53 PM (CDT)

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Freedom and Peace at last. I will keep you all in my prayers.
Karen Lammert
Maryland Heights, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:51 PM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Kelley Fitzgerald (ALL-Kids list_
Rochester, NY - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:42 PM (CDT)

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hi im carol jo Brennemans son

I am sorry for your loss and the family is in my prayers

Geoff Brenneman
clearwater, florida USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:38 PM (CDT)

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Well, I guess all i can say. Was damn MAN it was fun. I know it sounds wierd, but i will miss you man. :**(. FLF will never be the same without you being there.
Andrew "Wacko" Spiering
- Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:38 PM (CDT)

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Zof,

I've been following your sickness for quite a few months now and I cannot even begin to understand what you have have had to go through. However, I'm certain that you are in a much better place now. You have touched many people's lives, and mine in particular through your work with Frontline Force. -- R.I.P.
[NXP]Wraith
Rochester, NY USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:36 PM (CDT)

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It's now 9:30pm and I just heard the bad news about his death earlier this morning, and it's really hard for me to believe that he won't be here tomorrow morning to joke around with and to just talk and ask how his day was... it's always hard to see someone gradually slip into their own death and never come back again, but it's really hard to see it when the person hasn't really lived life to it's fullest, a person at his age just doesn't deserve to die so early into life. He'll be missed by alot of people who haven't even gotten a chance to meet him in person, and that says alot about his personality and what kind of a person he was, he'll definitely be missed by me and alot of the other people he talked to online... it was worth it coming on every day and seeing his name listed, i always knew it would be fun and interesting when he was there... and it was, he was a great guy and he'll be missed by alot of friends.
-GoodBye Matt
Andrew Porter ----> (RRS)
Philadelphia, PA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:34 PM (CDT)

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I am very sorry to hear about your son - it pains me that such a short life must be lived. Yet he was in your lives at least for that long and graced others with his presence and lust for life.

God Bless and God Speed Mathew.


PathfindeR
Framingham, MA US - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:34 PM (CDT)

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Farewell Zofran, we will never forget you.
Eggo
- Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:31 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Christopher, and Julie,
We are so sorry for your loss but so happy for Matthew that he is healed at last and is living Christ's promise.

Al and Mary Heinbokel
St. Charles, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:27 PM (CDT)

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I am so sorry.

Diane Mathis (Mitchell's mom)
Boynton Beach, FL - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:23 PM (CDT)

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I'm sorry.. about Mathew.. He is in heaven now..
RogueFoxx
wewew, ca USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:23 PM (CDT)

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I am so sorry for your Loss. It is good to know that he is with God, safe now and at peace. God Bless you all.... My love to each of you.
Dianne Smith
Lehigh Acres, Fl USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:22 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk,Christopher & Julie:

My heart breaks for all of you, that you have lost your sweet son and brother. Right now you are probably dazed and exhausted. I am so sorry for what Matthew endured, but also for the fact that his loving family had to watch him suffer. Having lost my own teenage son to the same dreadful disease just four months ago...I know. But I promise that you will "see" Matthew in places you would not expect...I am glad that his suffering is finally over! NO MORE PAIN, NO MORE FEAR! MATTHEW IS FREE, AND I HOPE HE IS PLAYING AWESOME VIDEO GAMES IN HEAVEN WITH DANNY! Love and God's peace for all of you. I will be praying for you especially often the next few days.
Barbara & Jonathan Reid
Bakersfield, CA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:19 PM (CDT)

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God Bless you and your family and may the strength to go through the future be with you. My Nicole was there to greet Matthew through the wonderful gates of heaven. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. The Doyles
Tricia Doyle
Lake Worth, FL USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:17 PM (CDT)

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flf forever

zof didn't know you that well but flf would not be the same without you. have fun wherever you are, say high to biggie and chris farley. good luck.
[nxp]c-bawlz
seattle, WA usa - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:15 PM (CDT)

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I know Matthew is in a better place, and his body is whole and healed--but I will continue to pray for your family, for peace and understanding, and for patience as you adjust to life without Matthew. God bless all of you.
Christi Hamilton
Dove Canyon, CA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:14 PM (CDT)

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I love you Hallemeiers'. My deepest sympathies. God has shown his grace upon thee. Matt fought a valiant battle with grace and dignity. I am blessed to have known him and all of you. Peace be with you and may God bless you and give you strength and comfort.
Vicki Cooper
Webster Groves, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:14 PM (CDT)

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I know that I will NEVER forget Matthew for as long as I live. I am happy for him, I know that he is having the best time in Heaven right now and is completely pain free ! Now he can do all the things that he used to love to do before his illness because he is cured. And now I'm sure he realizes how much he has changed people's lives from all over the world, including mine. He knows how special is he. And he will never ever be forgotten.
Shannon
Vancouver, BC Canada - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:12 PM (CDT)

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Goodbye, dear young Matthew. I followed your story and so hoped for you during your transplant. I have cried so many tears reading of how you have struggled for life these last few weeks. Rest sweetly in peace forever, and may God be with your grieving family.
Gloria McShane, mother of Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS /www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon
Richmond, North Yorkshire, UK - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:12 PM (CDT)

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Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Jane, mom to K.J., 18, dx. 11/01, T-cell ALL
Jane Freestone
Silver Spring, MD USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:07 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Family, I am so deeply sorry for your great loss. I have been following Matthew's story for a week or so and was immensely touched by your love for Matthew and your strength in the face of such an enormous struggle. Matthhew and all of you will remain in my thoughts as you go through the difficult days ahead.


Renata (from ped-onc)
Toronto, Canada - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:03 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, you don't have to worry about what you look like now, and also you will never have to worry about pain again. Also I do believe that Jonny was there to greet you as you made the crossing. Debbie, and the rest of the family, our hearts and prayers are with you in this time of need.
If there is anything that we can do, even sit up late at night and talk with you, let us know, we are normally on line late at night.
Jacob Barlett
Camden, Mi - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:02 PM (CDT)

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/me salutes you
Pale
- Monday, July 22, 2002 at 07:52 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,Dirk,Christopher and Julie, we are so sorry for the pain you are going through. Keeping you close in thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Karen Brown
Bend, OR USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 07:48 PM (CDT)

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You don't know me, but I've been following Matt thru your website and just want to say that you will all be in my prayers.
Aubrey
Tacoma, wa - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 07:23 PM (CDT)

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Heaven is Singing and Dancing tonite with the arrival of their Newest Beautifiul Angel ` While we are here crying & grieving ~ I Know he is in a Better place and has no more Pain or Suffering ~ he was a Brave Young Man ~ He is Finally Triumphant....God Bless you all.
Debra.
from ALL-KIDS list.

Debra James
ks USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 07:14 PM (CDT)

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I too have just heard the news and my thoughts are with you tonight. Mathew has been a very strong and brave young man, a son you can be proud of.
No more pain, No more suffering, he is now in the good lords hands.
God bless you all for your strength and thank you for sharing your lives with us. You have truly touched my heart.
Chris Watton
South Wales, uk - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 07:03 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Christopher, Julie, and Brad. I just heard the news that Matt has gone to a better and more peaceful place. I am glad for him that he is out of pain and suffering, but I am sorry for you for your lose of such a beautiful, and strong son and brother. I am a friend of Dale and Becky, and I work with them in St. Charles, and have kept up on Matt's progress. I know this is a very hard time for the whole family. You are a strength to us all, and I will keep you in my prayes. Sincerely, Bobbie Brennan
Roberta Brennan
St. Charles,, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 05:20 PM (CDT)

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My husband and I think of you all the time, and pray for peace and comfort for each of you. We are still praying together here at St. Jude in Memphis. God give you strength.

Kathy and Jeff Charlton...www.caringbridge.com/fl/robertmitchel
West Palm Beach/Memphis, FL/TN USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 05:05 PM (CDT)

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Pain Pain go away, come back NO other day, little Matt wants to be in Peace!! I'm so sorry for the increased pain he endures. Our prayers are with you...
Deedee
- Monday, July 22, 2002 at 04:39 PM (CDT)

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May God give all of you peace and the strength to endure. We are still praying for you in NE. God bless each of you and comfort you.
The Kalcik's
Crete, NE USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 04:18 PM (CDT)

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Hi there, my name is Patrick Evan Brenker.
I'm a former member of [U|S], clan Unified Syndicate. [U|S] has a flf div. and an rtcw div, so I heard about Matt a couple of weeks back.
Just want to offer my sympathies and well wishes towards you Matt, keep fighting and never give up.
Patrick Evan Brenker
Cheshire, CT 06410 - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 04:11 PM (CDT)

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We continue to read your entries daily and pray for comfort and peace for you all. Your strength is amazing. It is wonderful for Matt to be surrounded by those he loves.
The Bogle Family
Bridgeton, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 04:09 PM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Mary Jordan
Boston, MA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 02:59 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and The Family,
Hi, I don't know any of you all. But I have heard about you all through the Our Savior Senior Youth Group. And I just wanted to let you all know that you are all in my prayers. I just want to hope that everything is going well and hope that Matthew will find peace and rest. God Bless!
-Erica Hollander
Erica Hollander
St.Charles, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 02:58 PM (CDT)

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We love you very much!!!
Kim, Brian, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke
Rolla, mo - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 02:41 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
Your last post is even more heartbreaking if that is possible. Your older children are being so brave and helpful and of course Dirk. I am glad you can keep increasing his morphine but I know it must be horrible when he is in pain and you haven't found that more comfortable place with the meds yet. With his breathing more shallow it sounds like the end may not be much longer. My heart is with all of you Debbie and I pray Matthew is pain free and at peace with the light of God surrounding him.
Love,
Linda
mom to Bram 16 dx T-cell LL 3/00
Linda Lewis
Grass Valley, Ca. U.S. - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 02:25 PM (CDT)

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My continued thoughts for peace and comfort are with Matthew and your family.
Teri Xavier
Nashville, TN - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 01:00 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie and family ~
Matthew is so strong! It must be so hard to watch him continue to struggle. I pray for peace for all of you soon. Debbie, it worried me to read that you didn't eat - please please take care of yourself too - you are such a very special mom and friend! We continue to say extra prayers for Matthew and your family. Thank you so much for keeping us updated.
Sending our love ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce and Chad Wada (age 10, Dx ALL 9-19-00)
The Wada Family
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 11:52 AM (CDT)

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Zofran - My prayers are with you.
[TBB]:+:Stina:+:
- Monday, July 22, 2002 at 11:38 AM (CDT)

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Hi. I have been following your struggle for a couple of months now. My daughter was dianosed with leukemia too. She is only 6. I read the journal entry today and cried. Peace be with you and your family. ---Jim---
James R. Reid III
Largo, FL USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 11:14 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers have been with you all throughout this difficult time.
Vicki Cooper
Webster Groves, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 11:04 AM (CDT)

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Matt.
I heard about your Cancer saturday (20th), didn't know what to say.I dunno what to say, just get better ok Matt?
Good luck and god bless
Adam Arkley
- Monday, July 22, 2002 at 11:04 AM (CDT)

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Hey Matt,
I know we don't know each other, but when I read about this, I was gobsmacked. I admire you and how you can keep fighting through these difficult times.
Good luck, I'm sure you will be fine soon!
Daniel
Daniel Arkley
- Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:55 AM (CDT)

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we are so amazed at the strength and determination of Matthew and all of you who surround him.
We will continue to pray for peace and comfort for all of you.
May God bless you and keep you and all of those who continue to offer a loving hand of support in so many different ways.
Michelle Wamhoff and Lyle Rohlf (Members at Our Savior)
Ofallon, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:52 AM (CDT)

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God Speed to Matthew! You continue to be amazing as well as your entire family! Matthew has touched the hearts of thousands. Your family is the true meaning of "Family"...sticking together through thick and thin, goodtimes and bad! You have touched our hearts forever.
I pray that the Lord extends is loving arms to Matthew and that he embraces them so he may be out of his pain and have internal peace.
God Bless all of you!
Anita Bernardo
Anita Bernardo
Granada Hills, CA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:49 AM (CDT)

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We just read your latest update. You are in our thoughts as you must take these difficult steps. We pray that Matthew will be at peace and in the arms of Jesus soon!!
LouAnn and Tom Wicker
St. Charles, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:34 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and family- I am at a loss for words and don't know what to say other than I hope Matthew's pain can stay under control now with more meds. I feel for you and your whole family and hope that Matthew finds peace soon.
Diane Mathis (Mitchell's mom )
Boynton Beach, FL - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:21 AM (CDT)

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Really im not sure what to say........i'm a fellow halflife player and when i stumbled onto the front line force page i was heart-broken. As a fellow teammate i have utmost respect for you.....so with all my heart i say this "Good Luck Buddy" :) :) :)

Jamie aka 2ligit2quit
Jamie Galarneau
Hamilton, Ontario Canada - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:10 AM (CDT)

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Really im not sure what to say........i'm a fellow halflife player and when i stumbled onto the front line force page i was heart-broken. As a fellow teammate i have utmost respect for you.....so with all my heart i say this "Good Luck Buddy" :) :) :)

Jamie aka 2ligit2quit
Jamie Galarneau
Hamilton, Ontario Canada - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 10:10 AM (CDT)

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"The Lord will give you no more than you can handle" As I watched my sons last days I kept running that through my head and thought why the heck is he in so much darn pain then???? Reading Matts update today makes me question that again. Yes I do have questions for God when I get to heaven, but that will be AFTER I hold my dear son I miss so terribly. I was told by a sweet dear lady after Wester passed away that God had to pick the flowers for his bouquet, that was very comforting and has stuck with me. God bless...Christy angelnstix@msn.com that email is open to anybody that would like to chat about life.
Christy Grasmick
Kim, CO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:58 AM (CDT)

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You and your family are in my thoughts each day. Debra, Pam and all the hospice staff are truly wonderful caring people, when they were caring for Olivia I was amazed at their dedication and love and i can see it continues as they care for your darling boy.
Tameria Olivia's mommy
St Louis, - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:56 AM (CDT)

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Your journal today is so heartwrenching. We pray for peace and comfort for Matthew until he can be with Christ in Pardise. We pray that God surrounds all of you with his love in this very difficult time.
Al and Mary Heinbokel
St. Charles, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:48 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew:

The psalmist writes: "In my distress I cried unto the LORD, and he heard me." (Psalm 120:1)

We pray: LORD, in our distress, we cry unto You! Hear our prayer! Consider Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew's affliction. Deliver them. Plead their cause. May they not forget You and Your words. Comfort them in this time of trial. Be their refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. When Matthew draws his last breath, may He found in Christ, not having his own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of You by faith. Fill Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew with Your peace, which passes all understanding. Keep their hearts and their minds through Christ Jesus, who died for our sins and rose again. Amen.

Carl Mohme
Florissant, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:30 AM (CDT)

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"Zofran" Matt, I wish you good luck in fighting off this terrible disease.
Stephen
Oceanside, NY USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:24 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and Family:

I am truly amazed at the will power and strength that Matthew has to continue to fight for each second of his life. I lift you all up in prayer and inner peace along this incredible journey. Even though your family has been faced with this adversity you have touched so many lives throughtout the world.

May God grant Matthew and your family peace and say well done my faithful servant, well done.

Prayfully,

Stacy Edwards
Stacy Edwards
St. Louis, MO USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:12 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt,

I hope you are feeling comfortable and without pain. It's so nice to see so many people reaching out in your time of need. It is a testament to your part in all of us.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

~Greif
Matt Griffore
Chatham, ON Canada - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 09:02 AM (CDT)

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Tears for your heartache and for Matthew's pain. Praying God will give you ALL His comfort. I cannot imagine saying good-bye to your child, but I hope knowing that he will be at peace in God's loving arms will give you the strength to kiss him good-bye. GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Bonnie Pixley
Templeton (currently in Ft. Benning, GA), CA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:57 AM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeiers,
I have been following your journal entries for some time, but haven't signed the guestbook. Please let God take Matthew soon, so he doesn't have to suffer. And for the family, may you soon rest easy knowing that Matthew is in His hands and in paradise with Him. I lost a 36 year old brother to ALL 16 years ago--from dx to the end only 8 months. I am also great aunt to Dani Paine an ALL kid in Iowa.
May Matthew soon rest in peace.
Mary
Mary Vollrath
Imperial Beach, CA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:57 AM (CDT)

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On behalf of myself and my family we would like to add our prayers for Matthew and family.
Mark Pace
Tallahassee, fl USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:51 AM (CDT)

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You are in my prayers. I used to be a volunteer on the cancer floor at Children's hospital and heard about you from Ryan Grumish. Just keep on praying....
Sonya Reis
Wildwood, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:39 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family, I have just prayed again for all of you today. God is good, and he takes care of His Own. You are "one of His own". In Him, a friend,Bonnie Prince
Bonnie Prince
wildwood, mo - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 07:58 AM (CDT)

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I never met Matthew and never played FLF. But being part of the Halflifemapping tfc server family I'd like to add our support and thoughts.

All our prayers are with you and we hope you beat it big guy! And one day we can maybe we can play together. ;-)
Dan aka Timmy
Welshpool, Powys UK - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 07:56 AM (CDT)

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I was directed to your postings by Maren, and there are no words to express my compassion for you and your family. You are all in my prayers.
Maureen
North Carver, MA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 07:50 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Matthew & Family,
I will be praying for you all throughout the day, especially every hour on the hour.
With much love,
Judy Blicharz
McLean, VA USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 07:24 AM (CDT)

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What a struggle this is for all of you. I pray that soon Matthew will find peace and health and joy in Heaven and that you will find comfort and peace here on earth with God's help knowing that he is with Him in His love which is beyond our imagination.
emmie
River Grove, IL - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 07:22 AM (CDT)

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My prayers are with you. Debbie, Dirk, Christopher, and Julie your stength is a blessing to us all. May God give peace to Matt soon. Matt is such a true fighter to the very end.

www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore
Anita Moore
Sikeston, MO - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 06:58 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matt and family,
Saying continued prayers that Matthew will find peace very soon. Speaking as a mother, I can only begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you, Debbie. Let it be some comfort to you that you are a truly amazing mother and I am sure that Matthew has drawn much strength, courage and comfort from that. May God's peace and love continue to be with all of you. You are constantly in my thoughts and heart.
Kelley Fitzgerald
Rochester, NY - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 05:52 AM (CDT)

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Praying for you & your family always.
Maren
Frederick, MD US - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 05:28 AM (CDT)

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Matthew you will always be in my thoughts. Dirk and Debbie you two are doing a great job. My prayers are with your family.
Niket Patel
London, England - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 04:58 AM (CDT)

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Matthew, I wish you the best of luck, hang in there.
William Scott
Palm Beach Gardens, FL USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 02:54 AM (CDT)

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Matthew & Family,
You don't know me, but I feel as if I know you through your wonderful journal and mom that has so faithfully updated everyone on your courageous fight with this dreadful "monster". As I type, I'm praying for you to be finally free from pain and go to your mansion with our Lord. My 16 yr old son also fought this "monster" and I know some of the road you've traveled.
Debbie, you have been a wonderful mom to him and I hope you realize that. To the rest of the family, you have been the best family on Earth to Matthew.
Praying for him to be out of pain and see his Heavenly family soon.
Cindy Rector
Boonville, IN USA - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 02:41 AM (CDT)

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Hello, I heard of your misfortune from a friend so i also wish to participate in this guestbook. Many a times, life IS unfair. But that is perhaps God has an even grander plan for you. I am sorry to hear of the very unlucky ones such as yourself, but take comfort in that your loving family shall forever cherish you, and take pride because you have fought with courage and your strong fighting spirit. A real man you have proven to be.
Ernesto Coelho
Richmond, Canada - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 01:08 AM (CDT)

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You are in our thought and prayers. My God comfort you and provide peace and strength to each of you.
Cindee
Davie, FL - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 12:13 AM (CDT)

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Praying for you all. May the Lord grant you all strength and peace. God Bless.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens
Sullivan, IL - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 12:08 AM (CDT)

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I'm up late checking for an update. In my heart I'm wondering if Matthew has gone to be with the Lord since it's so late and you haven't updated. I have no idea how you feel, but i know that God does. And i praise Him that He will be with you every step of the way no matter what. I will continue to pray that all of you may find comfort in Jesus and then that you may in turn comfort others with the comfort you have received. For this is the will of God for us in Christ Jesus. I know you don't want to be without your son, but no that not one single bit of this trial has been in vain. The Lord has is and will continue to use it for His glory simply because you love Him so much. He loves you more than you could ever imagine. I pray that all of you feel that love more strongly than ever before during this time. HUGS! and wrap yourself in the arms of Jesus--He'll carry you!
Khalita C Jones
Durham, NC - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 12:04 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, and Matthew:
Matthew, you are tremendously brave. I wish peace to you. As you have been told, you will be the most fortunate of us all. It seems hard to understand, even for myself. I can not imagine the emotions you want to convey, nor the emotions of your family. I am saddened. God bless and keep you.

Cindy Keller.
Cindy Keller
Wildwood, MO USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 11:51 PM (CDT)

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peace be with you matt, once again.
feedbag (vincenzo)
new york, ny 10028 - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 11:39 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew,
I hope last night and today were peaceful for everyone, especially Matthew. It is wonderful to know how many lives Matthew has positively touched all over the world, and I hope this gives all of you some comfort. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Susan, Jeff, and Mary
Susan Roach
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 11:10 PM (CDT)

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I come here everyday for an update. Losing my child to cancer, I feel so very close to your family. Its 10pm here and no update as of yet today, my heart sunk, I hope hes not in pain, this is all so very hard. I am heading to bed now and will pray for you all. I ask for God to comfort you and hold all your hands as Matt passes into his new, PAINFREE life!! When Wester passed away it was a big relief, he left his body, a body that had caused him so much pain and he went to heaven a place where there is NO more tears, only smiles! We WILL be with our sons again remember that and hold on to that. God bless your family. Matts mom, you have done a wonderful job keeping everyone here informed, how hard that must be sometimes to get the strength, you are a very special lady you have a very big heart and a wonderful family. Hugs, Christy
Christy
Kim, CO USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 11:00 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew:

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord." (Colossians 3:15-16)

We pray: Dear Father, may Your peace rule in the hearts of Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew. Fill them with thankfulness. May the word of Christ dwell in them richly in all wisdom. May they teach and adomonish one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. May they sing with grace in their hearts to You! Fix their eyes upon Jesus, who died for their sins and rose again the third day. Into Your hands we commend Matthew's spirit. Graciously receive him into Your heavenly kingdom. We pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Carl Mohme
Florissant, MO USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 10:49 PM (CDT)

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Good evening Matt and Family,
I hope last night and today has been more comfortable for Matthew.
I pray for a painless passing into the arms of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I pray that He gives you the strength to get through these most painful times. Debbie~ thank you for keeping us updated. Our family was on vacation last week and I missed reading about Matthew and your family.
Please know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers.
God bless,
Anne mom to Erin dx ALL
- Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 10:07 PM (CDT)

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hello matt and family. i hope everything is ok.i get worried when the update is late. thats ok i know you have priorietys.matt. we had a good service at church today,we talkecabout the fear of god.we love you and always will rember you . as a dear friend.we pray that you be comferted in jesus name. love and prayers . Ron Millie Benji
Ron Revelle
Bridgeton, Mo U S A - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 09:39 PM (CDT)

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Hi! I'm so sorry to here about that. When I talk to my friends I tell them about you, and we all get tears in our eyes! I hope that he can go peacfully. I hate this disease, but I becam closer to my family, learned alot, and matured!

I hope that you can all get through this.
Danielle Paine
Hampton, IA USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 09:12 PM (CDT)

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You have an amazing strength, Matthew. We know God has a special plan by not taking you too soon. You have touched so many lives and are now able to help your friend Alexandria. We are keeping both of you and your families in our prayers.
LouAnn and Tom Wicker
St. Charles, MO - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 07:35 PM (CDT)

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Matt, God Bless you and good luck
John
- Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 07:25 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and family. I'm your cousin from Florida. We used to live in Van Wert, Ohio where your grandmother and grandfather lived. My mother and your grandfather were brother and sister. We lost our daughter 6 years ago. Life doesn't seem fair at times. Your mother is a great person to take time to update your condition every day. May God Bless you and your family.
Carol Jo Brenneman
Clearwater, FL USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 07:12 PM (CDT)

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Hope you make it, keep on fighting.
Brian Harper
Oak Grove, MO USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 07:04 PM (CDT)

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I pray for peace for Matt and your family.
Karen Crouch
Franklin, OH USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 06:13 PM (CDT)

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hang in Matt, may God bless you
Anton "Nucleus" Veeremets
Tallinn, Estonia - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 05:59 PM (CDT)

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I don´t really know Zof, but after his heart-tearing post i must show my respect.

Hang in there brother

Best regards -Render

Jesper "Render" Ekwall
Helsingborg, skane Sweden - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 05:47 PM (CDT)

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Hello !

I have read through the journal and talked much with a friend about Matt. Until the release of the new Version of FLF I didn't know anything about Matt.
It is hard to say anything, I wish the best to Matt, he may not give up the fight. His will must be of a special kind, he is that courageously, I'm overwhelmed.

My own mother had cancer, my grandpa died beacuse of cancer, so did my uncle and my godfather uncle.
My mother is healed and I can't express how I feel about that.
My thoughts are with you and Matt, I think I can say that I can approximately fell with you.

God bless you all

Simon

Simon "Semmel" Streicher
Weil, Germany - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 05:40 PM (CDT)

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My love and best wishes go out to you all, especially Matthew, i know i cant say how you all feel but i have close and very dear friend to me who had leukemia, i knew him when he was 6, when he became ill and now he is 15 and has beaten his illness, i have all the faith in the world that you can do the same Matthew. Keep fighting, never give up hope. I admire and respect the bravery that you all are showing, it's not easy to deal with something so trying. All of you are in my heart and may everyone in the worlds angels watch over you for as long as it takes for Matthew to recover.

Blessed be you all and my prayers are with you.
Lisa Wright
Fuengirola, Malaga, Spain - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 05:11 PM (CDT)

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Our daughter Beth was an Alpha Gam at Murray State with Julie and she has told me about Matt. Our thoughts and prayers are with your whole family.
Wende Harney
Georgetown, KY USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 05:02 PM (CDT)

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well my best wishes go out to you matt and your family.

hope everythign works out for you real soon...

ninja..... http://www.somod.tk


NINJA
WAKEFIELD, NA UK - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 04:29 PM (CDT)

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Well i only want to say that my thoughts are with you all,
and before a lot of years not praying, this night will try to remember something to do something like a pray, i swear.

May this do something, maybe not but i'll do it.
Keep figthing there's no invincible enemy, crush it Matt

Carlos Ibańez Perez
Alcala de Henares, Madrid Spain - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 03:57 PM (CDT)

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DEAR MATTHEW, DEBBIE, DIRK, JULIE, AND CHRISTOPHER.WE ARE THINKING OF YOU AND HOPING GOD HEARS OUR PRAYERS. WE PRAY THAT YOU ARE FINDING PEACE AND COMFORT THOUGH GOD AND YOUR FAMILY. LOVE GREG,SUE,GREG JR. AND PAT.
SUSAN FACKLER
WHITEHALL, PA USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 02:54 PM (CDT)

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May God bless you and keep you in his everlasting arms. Our prayers are with you
Rita and Robert File
Safety Harbor , Fl. U.S.A. - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 02:26 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeiers,
We continue to pray for Matt's homecoming and for continued strength and comfort for all of you. We'll keep Alexendria in our prayers, too.
Al and Mary Heinbokel
St. Charles, MO - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 01:39 PM (CDT)

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Good luck
I have no words to express how I feel
I'm a HL Player. When FLF come out to the scene I saw that it was going to became in one of the most played mods of HL.

I hope you to get better. I've prayed several times for Matt.

Fernán González
Burgos, Spain - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 01:16 PM (CDT)

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Here again spreading more love your way. Matt and the family is loved throughout the world. Its a good feeling to know that there are so many good people that are willing to take a minute to sign the guestbook. What an honor to have the power of love. Matt is so special! We love you all...
Deedee
- Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 10:51 AM (CDT)

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just... good luck for later
JeezaK
Seoul, South Korea - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 08:10 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie-
I cannot thank you enough for sharing with everyone on Matthew's website that Alexandria needs prayers. Grant and I feel the power of prayer is enormous and has saved her life on two occasions. Once when she was diagnosed with 1 million white blood cells and again the following April when she was in respiratory failure/septic shock and in the ICU. We felt the comfort of so many people caring and praying that the Lord would let her live. We feel it again and are hoping for a miracle. Through this horrible experience have come several positive things. One of them is becoming even closer to God, the second is to have our lives touched by Matthew and you. I thank God for our friendship and please know that I am always here for you. Your strength is amazing. No one can feel or know the depths of your pain but so many people are here for you.

Love- Alison Haddock (mom to Alexandria, dx 11/00, relapse 7/02)
www.caringbridge.com/page/alexandriasangels
AGHaddock@msn.com
Alison Haddock
O' Fallon, MO - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 06:21 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt,

i cannot say, how i felt as i read about your destiny. But believe in god and yourself and be strong. I hope, that you are a tough guy, who will fight and win!!
Good luck to you and your family with the best wishes from an (for you) unkown FlF-Player from germany. I believe in you

Cu later
Heinz Rottmann (in FLF "W!ld0ne")
Ahaus, NRW Germany - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 05:17 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and family ~
I think of you all, and Matthew especially, so many times a day. I keep all of our precious children in my prayers and will now add Alexandria to my list as well. I pray every night that Matthew finds comfort in the loving arms of our Lord soon. My heart continues to be heavy, knowing the struggles your family continues to endure. Thank you for keeping all of us updated.
Sending much love ~
Stacey and family
Stacey Wada
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 12:59 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew,
I hope you are having a restful night and that you will have a nice day tomorrow. I am sorry about your friend Alexandria, and I hope she will recover. We will keep praying for all of you and Alexandria. May Jesus comfort all of you during these hard times and give you peace. All of our love to all of you. Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 12:41 AM (CDT)

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Matthew, it seems God still has a plan for you HERE .... you and your family have reached SO MANY PEOPLE, He has been reaching out through you to so many souls! You have been so brave and strong, however, I am guessing you are also very tired now .... I pray God will continue to surround you with His Love, and at His time we will all rejoice with you that you are with Him in person! My prayers and thoughts continue to be with you and your family. Special prayers tonight for your friend, Alexandria. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Bonnie Pixley
Templeton (currently at Ft. Benning, GA), CA USA - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 11:42 PM (CDT)

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It's truly amazing how someone so ill can still be so strong...What a son you have. We are continuing to pray for peace and strength for all, and praying that Jesus will soon take Matthew into his arms and relieve him of his pain. God Bless you all.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens
Sullivan, IL - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 11:06 PM (CDT)

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You remain in my thoughts and prayers. So sorry to hear about your friend Alexandria. I am sure your request for prayers for them will be answered by many.
Please don't apologize for "late" updates. I am grateful and amazed that you are willing and able to keep everyone updated. To me it is a gift and privilege to "know" a young man as courageous and well-loved as Matthew and to witness the tremendous love and faith within your family. Hoping this night finds Matthew more comfortable.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDS
emmie
River Grove, IL - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 11:05 PM (CDT)

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So much love is coming from our home to yours... wishing you all peace in the days ahead. We continue to be amazed by your family's incredible love, strength and faith. We are holding you so close in our hearts.
Alexis, Annie and Isabelle Thomas
Gainesville, FL - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 10:42 PM (CDT)

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Thinking of you and praying for each you every day.
Dianne Smith
Lehigh Acres, Fl USA - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 10:27 PM (CDT)

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thinking of you. am keeping you in our prayers
roger & paulette barton
st. charles, mo usa - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 09:56 PM (CDT)

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Matt I'm praying for you, I just found out since I've been gone and afk for months and months but I sent you and email and posted on the flf forums too. I miss you and hang in there.

nick (cali)
nick
flagstaff, az usa - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 09:04 PM (CDT)

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Zof, I pray for you and your family. I will not let a day go by without looking at my daughter and thinking of you. I respect your attitude towards this whole situation. I know that if God requests your presence, your are something special to him. I trust you will be an angel to other people who find themselves in the same situation. I hope you are comfortable and I am happy to see that you are loved by so many. You are loved by my family also. God bless.
Rick Hughes
Charleston, SC Unites States of America - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 07:50 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, you are amazing ! Praying for you today and always.
Shannon
Vancouver, BC Canada - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 02:46 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt, it's Lauren Stein i've been keeping up on how your doing and the revelles always fill me in on the latest news. I really miss you and i hope that you feel better today. It is hard for me to write to you matt because i miss you a lot and it makes me sad to hear that you are in pain. I just want you to know that I think about you everyday and can't wait for you to come back to the old neighborhood were we had so many memories. Matt i miss your comedy most of all, you always made our bus rides fun and full of laughter. If there's one thing I learned it is that laughter is the best medicine and you always brought that to everyone, thanks for that. My family and I are praying for you and your family. I would love to hear from you so email me. talk to you soon and stay strong.
Lauren Stein and family
Bridgeton, MO - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 01:57 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family,

After my student art site was totally unsuccesful I decided to use the webspace for a more useful purpose.

I have started a site where children with any kind of illness can submit a link to their site in the hope of finding information and support from other families.

The URL is

http://messages.to/friendshipformat

At the moment it has very few links but if anybody seeing this in your guestbook would like to submit a site it just visit the link.

I am hoping to get as many links as possible on there so that children have a bigger chance of finding someone that they want to communicate with.


We all felt for Matt when you said that he had spent a lot of the last year in the house, not wanting his friends to see him looking ill.

This page is truly inspired by Matthew, hence the name (Friendship For Matt) and I hope it can provide children all over the world with somewhere to look for a network of friendship and support such as that shown to your family.

Thank you!
HelenH
Newcastle, - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 12:35 PM (CDT)

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Dear Lord,

Please continue to hold Matthew and his family in the palm of Your hand.
The Bennett Family
Rolla, MO USA - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 11:16 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew:

The Apostle Paul wrote: "O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." (Romans 7:24 - 8:1)

We pray: Dear God, we confess to You that we are wretched! We have sinned against You in thought, word, and deed. We know and understand that the wages of sin is death. We thank You that Jesus died for us on the cross. We confess our sins unto You. Cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We thank You for the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Dear God, please deliver Matthew from the body of this death. With his mind, may he serve Your law. Call to his remembrance the Bible verses he has learned.

Dear God, we thank You that there is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Dear God, continue to comfort Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew. Be their refuge and strength, a very present help in this time of trouble. May they fix their eyes upon You and Your words.

We pray in the name of our resurrected Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Amen.

Carl Mohme
Florissant, MO USA - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 10:31 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
It's late. I am going to bed and pray for peace for Matthew and your family. My heart is full of love and emotion for all of you. I pray this night is less painful for Matthew and he rests peacefully.
Sending hugs and prayers ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 01:31 AM (CDT)

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hi i am from matthews church. i am only 13 and i try and read his page everyday. i just wanted to let you know that he is always in my prayers. and that all my hope is for him. and that eventhough i dont really understand everything that he is going through, and really dont know him that well. all my love goes out to him and his family and all my prayers to.
Marissa
st. charles, MO usa - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 01:16 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew,
I am sorry that you had another long night. I hope tonight is restful and peaceful for all of you. I admire all of your strength and courage, and I feel guilty when I get upset over trivial things. Thanks, Debbie, for keeping everyone informed on Matthew's condition. We continue to pray for all of you. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach
St. Charles, MO USA - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 01:09 AM (CDT)

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hi matt,
awesome web page.i feel for you, i pray for you every night, peace man. quito
Quito Delgado
- Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 12:21 AM (CDT)

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matt-

You probably don't know me but i hope you make it through this. I do not know what to say but i was tearing up after i read the post you did. I will always keep you in my prayers.


David Simmons
- Friday, July 19, 2002 at 11:46 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. We thought that our son would not survive his bmt, going on past data for his particular situation. He did, and your journal has really made an impact on our lives. I think any pray for you all every day.
Beverley Pierce
Houston, Tx U.S.A - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 11:42 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk , Matt, and Family,
I continue to pray for you daily. I would do anything I could to help. I pray for Matt's peace, and for your sorrow. If I can ever help you, please let me know. I will say another prayer before I go to sleep for Matt. I will pray for all of you.

God Bless,
Angi Lowes
Angi Lowes
O'Fallon, Mo - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 10:57 PM (CDT)

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Each day I check in on Matthew and your family. I read with sorrow to hear how Matthew's days are somewhat uncomfortable. I will continue to pray for his comfort and peace. I'm also touched by how supportive his family is, even though your strength is being challenged. My prayers will be for all of you, to handle this as best you can with God's blessing. May you find the comfort and peace you need too. Matthew sounds so wonderful. Could you give him a hug, from all of us who would really like to.
Sheryl Clubb
Eureka, MO USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 10:25 PM (CDT)

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I have come to this site every day for many months to see how Matthew is, and how his precious family is, and yet I have never signed the guest book. But now I feel complelled, like many others who have signed in, to let you know that we are with you, praying for you and so honoured to be part of your family's life. Even though we will never meet, ( I am in Australia), my life has been challenged and changed by an incredible young man named Matthew and those of his family.
So today I will hold my children closer, value my family even more, knowing that each moment with them, good or bad, is an incredible gift.
Suzanne Wallace
Hamilton, Australia - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 09:55 PM (CDT)

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To The Hallemeier Family,

We continue to be amazed by your strength and courage during this very difficult time. Please let us know if we can help in any way.

May God bless all of you...

Your neighbors,

Joe, Lisa, Elyssa and Dominic
The Donato Family
Dardenne Praire, MO USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 09:46 PM (CDT)

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Wishing you comfort
and peace......
You are an amazing family.
Franci Eberz
Pittsburgh, PA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 09:44 PM (CDT)

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Wanted you to know that St. Charles Presbyterian Church officers prayed for your family Thursday night in church before our meetings. As always the Callahans are praying for you also. Debbie, I wake up at 4 or 5 o"clock in the morning wondering what you are doing and crying with you. My heart is breaking for and with you. I know it is so hard to see Matthew in such pain and also so hard to give him up. Your family is a part of me and so are your hopes,fears and joys. God gave us to each other as neighbors and special friends. What a wonderful gift. Please know I am with you Debbie; as much as I can be. Give Matthew a kiss from me; a gentle, loving kiss.
Love is what it is all about; how well you know.
Camellia
Callahans
Bridgeton, mo usa - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 09:32 PM (CDT)

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I have never met Matthew, But I am an online gamer. So i feel like I know him well. We are an odd but quite close community, us online gamers. Race, Religion, appearance, the way we dress, the way we live our lives, none of this matters to us. We are able to rise above any forgone conclusions about who we are based on any of the above criteria. We are able to get to know each other the way most people never do. We form friendships based on who we are on the inside and they last forever. We get to know the "real" person. So it is hard for me to read about Matthew because I feel like i'm losing a brother. I have never met him yet I find myself thinking about him often. I played Front Line Force for a brief period and I may have very well played with Matthew at some point before I moved back to my game of choice. But I do know this, there are people all over this planet of ours that are thinking and praying for you. May you find peace in your journey and may your ping be low.

Good Game !

Pale
- Friday, July 19, 2002 at 08:42 PM (CDT)

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Like some of the others, I've never talked with you, Zofran. But I do hope you get through this. Good luck, man.
Kyle 'Thori' Hansen
IA USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 08:41 PM (CDT)

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Praying for you every second of every day. You are amazing people.
Mandy
St. Louis, - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 08:26 PM (CDT)

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I'm watching and wondering what tomorrow brings for Matthew. I hope the pain is more managable and that he sleeps more comfortably. I believe in Matts mind that he knows your all there by his side. He loves you all very much. he is an admirable, handsome young man who has such strength to keep fighting. I pray for peace in the days ahead.
Deedee
bowling green, ky - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 07:33 PM (CDT)

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I wanted to share this with all of you.

TO THOSE I LOVE

If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the Silent Way, grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears,but laugh and talk
Of me as if I were beside you there.
(I's come, I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song or see a bird
I loved, please do not let the thought of me
be sad..for I am loving you just as
I always have......
You were so good to me! There are
so many things I wanted still.
To do - so many things to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear... It was just leaving
you that was so hard to face......
We cannot see Beyond...But this I know;
I love you so - 'twas heaven here with you.

Author Unknown.

As with all the days, my prayers continue to be with you and yours.
Chloe Albert
Decatur, IL USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 06:15 PM (CDT)

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Zof, it only can get better. Heads up :D
Good luck, you are always in our hearts
Michael
Michael "yyz101" Borsdorf
Lisbon, Portugal - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 06:08 PM (CDT)

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dont know how to say it, but I'll miss you matthew
Tim "Chips" Green
Durham, England - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 05:21 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
As I watched my son sleep through another transfusion today, I thought of you and Matthew, and I wept and prayed for your family. Your love and courage are inspiring. I have no other words than that we're holding you and your family close in our thoughts.
Jane, mom to K.J., 18, dx 11/01, T-cell ALL
Jane Freestone
Silver Spring, MD USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 05:14 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matt, and Family:

As a mother it has taken me twenty-four hours to find the words to respond to your update from yesterday. To think that in all of Matt's confusion and in whatever place his mind is currently is at, all it took was the sound of your voice, Debbie, saying "I love you" to call him back and have him respond "I love you, too". The power of that motherly bond takes my breath away. He found you and responded to you --- what an amazing thing. You will always be the center of his world. Thank you for sharing this very personal moment.

Your family has taught us all a lesson in grace, comfort, and the power of family. I am humbled.

Kristine
Wife to husband scheduled to undergo MUD transplant late Aug. '02 for relapsed AML at Barnes.

Kristine
St. Louis, MO - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 05:08 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Family, It just feels like Matthew is floating away from us a little each day. But the Lord is waiting to meet him on the other shore. Doesn't make it easier letting him sail this journey. So glad you are all together. Praying here in California for peace.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger and family
Alameda, CA USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 04:43 PM (CDT)

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Zofran, I've never met you, but have known who you are for quite some time now. I know people I talk to every day that say they were pretty good friends with you. I am following your progress, and praying that you will keep going. There are many people that are praying for you, and I am sure you know that.
Amanda Kantack
Aberdeen, SD USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 04:38 PM (CDT)

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Being somewhat of a poet i have something to say about lots of things but everytime i try and think of something to say about you or to your family i am lost for words...

May your struggles be rewarded and may peace find you at last i wish not in your suffering or pain
Time grows short and darkness sinks in but your strength strives on infinity awaits for you and you still hant given in the void was not made for thee
-
Mark "ZahanTheThief" Stringfellow
houston, tx usa - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 03:59 PM (CDT)

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Matt and Family,
My prayers and thought are with you all. Sometimes we just don't understand what God is doing. But who are we to question him. Just cherish all the time you have together. And we will pray for a miracle. We know that they can happen.
Love-In-Christ,
Dawn Gresham (Tommy's Mom ALL-Kids)
Warrenville,, SC 29851 - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 03:28 PM (CDT)

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Matt, words fail me... All I can say is you have my sympathy. Good luck, my friend.
:(
Thomas "Cestus" Warner
Escondido, CA USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 03:24 PM (CDT)

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Matt and Family,
I am just getting ready to leave town for my daughter's softball tournament and just had to check in one last time. I want you to know while I am gone, my prayers will continue and I will think of all of you often. If our Heavenly Father should decide to take Matthew home before I return on Sunday, I pray that it will be peaceful and that He will grant you all the strength that you will need. Please remember that where Matt will be going is the best place possible, though I know that won't make it any easier. Matt, I could only hope in my wildest dreams to have the impact that you have had on all the people that have signed this guestbook. You are truely an amazing kid, and my personal HERO!! God, as well as your earthly family, have to be so proud!! I know that I have been blessed by meeting all of you on this website and my only regret is that I couldn't have done so in person. But, someday that will happen when we are all together in God's kingdom. Until I return on Sunday, please remember that I will remain in constant prayer and I am sending you all big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson
Ottawa, IL - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 02:53 PM (CDT)

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Matt and Family,

My thoughts are with you. You have made yourself and your family proud with your courage. All the Best.

[UncleStupid]JuniorMcPeeWee
Stephen O'Shea
Ottawa, ON Canada - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 02:47 PM (CDT)

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Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Karin, mom to Christine
Berea, Ohio USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 02:39 PM (CDT)

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Zof/Family

You are in my prayers and I hope u can overcome this situation. I love the mod that you work so hard on and me and everyone else in the community will never 4get u


-=|IFH|HiT=-
Lindenhurst, NY - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 02:19 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Hallemeier Family:

I found your website earlier this week. My kindergartners "boyfriend" was diagnosed with a brain tumor in January and just found out yesterday that the chemo/radiation are not working. I have been checking your website daily and I just want you to know that so many people are praying for you to help you find the strength that is needed for such a time. I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling but just know that God is indeed with you.

From Isaiah 35:3-4

Give strength to hands that are tired
and to knees that tremble with weakness.
Tell everyone who is discouraged,
"Be strong and don't be afraid!
God is coming to your rescue..."

God bless all of you. You sound like a truly amazing family!

Betty Hepp
Betty Hepp
Englewood, CO - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 01:53 PM (CDT)

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Mr. and Mrs. Hallmaeir:

I am praying for you and your dear son daily through this time. I am a mother too, and I had a thought I wanted to share with you. Isn't is strange, this time you have with Matthew...The way you describe this time in your daily notes...doesn't this feel like when he was a newborn, and you were doing everything for him, as you are now,... and it was hard, all the new things you had to do... and it felt like you didn't know what day it was, and it felt like one long day.... Matthew IS a newborn now... about to cross over as a newborn into the city of gold... The Lord is giving you this time with Matthew, and he is letting you see him as a newborn, like when he first came to be with your family. You are blessed. Maybe this will help during this hard time...
Robin Frye
Germantown, MD - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 01:39 PM (CDT)

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Julie & Hallemeier Family,
You are in my thoughts and prays during this difficult time.
Sarah Calvin
Murray, KY USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 01:26 PM (CDT)

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I check the site several times a day for an update. Although I have never met you, I feel for your family. I am praying for you, Matt to find peace, and I pray for the ones who yu are leaving behind. What a strong family!
Lisa Lauman
St. Louis, MO U.S. - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 01:24 PM (CDT)

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We are continuing to pray for peace and strength for all. God Bless you.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens
Sullivan, IL - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 01:20 PM (CDT)

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Dear matthew and Family,
I have written only once before, and was not quite sure what to write a second time. I had mentioned that I am a close friend of Sue and Greg (fackler). I guess the only thing I can and want to say is that you have made such a difference to my life. I have learned to appreciate so many things that I never even took notice to before. From reading some of the other entries, I believe thousands of others feel this was too. When I go to church on Sundays(I started going again recently), I light a candle for you and your family and pray that God stays by your sides in this difficult time. Please know that you are thought of many times a day here in Pa, and there are so many prayers being sent you way.
Lisa May
Jenkintown, pa usa - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 01:08 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,
You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. Matthew continues to be our hero.
Hold on to each other.
The Bernardo Family
Anita Bernardo
Granada Hills, CA USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 01:04 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Dirk- You are continued in our thoughts and
prayers. Please call if you need anything.

Sandy Drysdale and family
sandy drysdale
dardenne prairie, mo usa - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 11:40 AM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier's:
I'm so sorry to hear about what's going on with your family. I know that it has to be hard. I'm also a 16 year old and my heart and prayers and thoughts go out to your entire family. I have never met any of you, but I am a member of Our Savior and I check with many people daily to see how Matt is doing. I know that it is a hard time, and I dont know if I could be as strong as Matt is. I will conitinue to pray for your family in my prayers.
Felicia Thomson
St. Charles, MO - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 10:44 AM (CDT)

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God bless you and Matthew. I will be praying for strength for your entire family.
Sandra F. Jackson
Paducah, KY McCracken - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 10:36 AM (CDT)

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Matt,

My prayers go to you and your family. You have touched many of us deeply.
Ben Hopkins
Ann Arbor , MI USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 10:36 AM (CDT)

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Julie you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. we are all praying for Matthew.
Jasmine Patel
Murray, KY USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 10:26 AM (CDT)

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This is pretty unreal. Matt was one of the few FLF players that I was good friends with. He doesn't deserve this. I really can't find the words to express myself... Too tearful to think about it without trying to write about it.

Love you Matt.
Patrick Cavanaugh
Escondido, CA USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 10:21 AM (CDT)

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To the friends and family of Matt Hallemeier, and Matt himself,

Returning to FLF after 18 months, I was saddened by this news, as I'm sure I've come across the name Zofran before.

There is a lot of criticism about gaming and gamers, by people who don't care to understand that there are always _individuals_ involved.

The response of the gamer community (some 50,000 views) is heartwarming, but not really unexpected. Matt is/was a gamer, but above that he is/was clearly a talented, bright and friendly person. We are all the sadder for his passing, but we will also be the lesser if we let his life go uncelebrated.

This website is a wonderful testament to courage and the joy of humanity, I hope it is used to help others in need in the future. If so, I for one will make regular return visits.

Best Wishes to Matt for a peaceful passing
Best Wishes to his friends and family for the FUTURE - make it bright!


Roland Cooke (Motorskills)
London, UK - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 09:23 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and family,

You are in my prayers, and I just wanted to say, that Matt "Zofran" has always struck me as being wise way beyond his years. It saddens me that such a good, outgoing, and helpful person could be going through what he is now. I've only known Matt through the internet (FLF), but the contributions he has made are endless. There are countless people that will never forget the postitive impact that Matt ("Zofran") has made upon us all. God be with you, and God Bless.
-=|IFH| Barkol=-

Shannon Benjamin
Bloomington, IL United States - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 09:18 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt & family

We've never met, but ever since I read about your condition you all have been in my & families thoughts and prayers everyday. My mom bursted in to tears when I told her about you.

Take care my friend, you'll never be forgotten. I'll mis having you you in FLF.

Shervin (|AUS|Swas)
Shervin Shahidi
Rotterdam, Holland (Europe) - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 08:12 AM (CDT)

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Matt,
I am in awe how you continue to fight. Truly incredible. Your courage,will,and strength are amazing! You are a true hero!
Bo Mathis(father of DOUBLE M)
www.caringbridge.com/fl/champ
Boynton Beach, Florida - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 07:46 AM (CDT)

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Just to say my thoughts are with you and your family for what you are going through just now. Thank you for all your input on FLF, through which I barely knew you. I wish I'd had a better chance to get to know you, but what little I do know is that you have enriched the lives of so many that will never be taken away from you.
Pigwhistler
Leeds, WY UK - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 07:36 AM (CDT)

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HI MATT AND FAMILY AS I LEAVE FOR WORK I PRAY THAT YOU WILL HAVE A GOOD DAY IN JESUS NAME. WE LOVE YOU .. Ron Millie Benji
Ron Revelle
Bridgeton, Mo U S A - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 06:53 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt & Family

Although I've never met you, with the overwhelming response of praise & support in here you must be a great person. By reading all of these entries it seems you haved touched many peoples lives. My prayers go out to you and your family during this difficult time.
Steve
Holbrook, Ny - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 05:26 AM (CDT)

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Dirk, Debbie, Matthew, Christopher and Julie:
You know, as I sit here reading all of the enteries in the guestbook, it again just puts me in awe of the incredable impact your family is having. The enteries come from all over the world! As we watch the news of all the nastiness that is going on in the world - we see how Matthew's courageous battle is spreading light into a darkened world! In a place where you would expect to see gloom - you see the Light of His love shining soo brightly!
I cannot begin to think that I know The Father's plan through all of this but I do know that the effect on my family and me, and the effect on so many others (as evident in these entries) is most incredable!
I pray for your families strength through out the day and I pray that His continuing peace settle in your household.
Your family is beloved by many -- near and far!
Jay
Troy, IL USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 04:29 AM (CDT)

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Zof/Family

We may have never met, but you're in my prayers and thoughts daily. I'm a huge FLF fan (the only mod I play) so your contributions have not gone unnoticed. Even my girlfriend, who hates games, teared up after reading the posts in the forums.
You've done a lot for the people in this community, more than you know. Good luck and stay strong Matt...

/me Salutes Matt

Ryan

-=|IFH|BigHairy=-[zof]
Mesa, AZ USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 04:02 AM (CDT)

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Tonight I cried on my girlfriend's curious shoulder for a teenager whom I've only known online yet whose story you can't help but be affected by. You're only 16 but the courage and perserverance you have reminds me of stories of great Roman soldiers Punic and Marcomannic Wars who would set off to battle, leaving their blithe lives, to sternly face whatever end may come.. My girlfriend's, and my prayers are with you sir.

I wish I could meet you face to face once Matt...zofo. It would be a sincere honor to shake your hand.
Patrick "Docano" Bergeron
Nederland, TX - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 04:02 AM (CDT)

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Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you Matt, and your family. I hope the doctors are keeping you as comfortable as they possiblely can for your situation. My heart goes out to you.
Sean Henry, -RoT-Aphon
Maple Valley, WA USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 03:08 AM (CDT)

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It's amazing how many curveballs life can throw at people. Looking at all of the posts and reading Matt's story, it is incomprehensible to think it could happen to you, and yet it can and sometimes does. I take my online nickname (WhoCares?) as a joke as most people do. But when it boils right down to it, people DO care and it's nice to see that there is some compassion in those of us who are sensible. There is no rhyme or reason why it happens, it just does. Reading and thinking about Matt's plight makes me ill to my stomach and I tighten up when I think it could happen to my children.
As a parent (and I think all parent's would agree) all I've ever hoped for is that my children will grow up to be decent human beings and live a long and happy/wonderful life. Reading about a tragedy like this brings life and your values back in focus. What will bring you down even faster is to realize that Matt is not alone in this, this happens every day to families on our entire planet. We are just lucky to live in a country where medicine is #1, but when medicine cannot cure the ailment, all it can do is prolong the suffering.

My heart pours out to Matt and his family and I hope life is merciful to him and his loved ones. Try not to focus on the negative and remember ALL of the good times. You will find there are so many good times to remember.

- Rich a.k.a. WhoCares? (I care).

Rich Passmore
Aurora, CO United States - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 02:23 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts are with Matt and his family. Although I only know him through the internet, I still care about him and pray that this situation is resolved in the best possible way,
Take care man
Pete "MrFlibble" Birch
Cambridge, England - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 02:08 AM (CDT)

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At this point Debbie, I really dont know what to say.
We all are praying though.

Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page

- Friday, July 19, 2002 at 01:31 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I'm hear to visit Matthew and to see how he did today. But I wanted to let YOU know that I'm thinking about you right now, and seem to find myself drifting away during the workday thinking about your situation. I've been following Matthew's struggles quite some time, either via his website or on the ALL Kids list. You have TONS of cyber support -- if there's anything we can do out here, just ask. Again, I'm thinking of you this evening. I can feel your pain and sense of helplessness. You are doing the right thing by making the most of every minute......of each and every day. God Bless you all!

Hugs,
Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike
Anaheim, CA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 01:07 AM (CDT)

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Matthew & Family,

I just wanted to share a special story with you guys about my son Brodie. He is 22 months old. Since we have begun reading your story about all you have been going through, there has not been a night that we do not lift you guys up in prayer by Brodie's bed. We always begin with the basic "Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take. God Bless Mommy, Daddy and we mention all our family. But there is not a night that Brodie or I do not mention Matthew. True he is really too young to understand alot, however, one day he will understand and I will be so blessed to be able to share your story with him. Matthew you have touched our life so much and I know that when you get to heaven you will be able to see and know all the many people you have blessed. We continue to pray for God's blessing upon you.

Love In Christ,
Patsy Winks
Patsy Winks
Hueytown, AL USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 01:04 AM (CDT)

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Zof/matt and family...

I'm not going to say anything about prayers, its not my style. Just know that you guys are in my thoughts, and in the thoughts of my RL friends here in TN everyday.


Steve Peters, -RoT-Abraxas
Murfreesboro, TN 37130 - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 12:44 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew,
I was sorry to hear about your long night. I hope you can get some rest tonight. I think about all of you everyday and just cannot imagine what you are all going through. I pray that Jesus will carry you through the rest of this nightmare and give you his eternal peace. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 12:10 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family,

I will be leaving for Arkansas w/ my mom tomorrow to spend the weekend there and attend her 25th high school reunion. But I will continue to pray for you every time I think of you.

May God bless you with comfort for all the pain - physical and emotional, peace for your spirit, and strength for the days ahead.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth

Elizabeth's Journey
Elizabeth Wriker - 20 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes
Enid, OK USA - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 12:04 AM (CDT)

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Matt,
From a gamer to a fellow gamer,
I give my whole heart to your struggle and will pray for you every night. I hope you get better very soon.

~CD Drizzt
John Ballentine
Export, PA United States - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 11:49 PM (CDT)

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WELL MAT I GUESS I JUST WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING SHORT AND SWET, ESPECIALLY SINCE MY EYES ARN'T COROPERTING THIS LATE, BUT I DID WANT U TO KNOW WE THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY. AND ALWAYS MAKE TIME FOR PRAYER FOR ALL OF U GUYS. BUT I GUESS CAUSE I AM SO TIRED I JUST CAME UP WITH SOMTHING KINDA (SHORT) & KINDA (SILLY) BUT ITS LATE SO HERE GOES!!! MATT ALWAYS REMEMBER>>>>>>>>>.....ROSES ARE RED AND VIOLETS ARE BLUE AND THE LORD WILL ALWAYS CONTINUE TO WATCH OVER YOU. THAT WAS JUST A FAST THROW TOGETHER MILLIE SONG. BUT HE IS THERE FOR YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY. JUST ALWAYS THINK OF THE FOOTPRINTS PICTURE:) WHEN U LOOK BACK AND SEE 1 SET OF THAT IS THEN WHEN U KNOW HE STILL HASN'T LEFT YOU NORE FORSUKE YOU, IT IS JUST HIS TIME TO CARRY YOU.

LOVE-U-ALL-SO-MUCH
RONNNIE,MILLIE & BENJI REVELLE
MILLIE REVELLE
BRIDGETON, MO. USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 11:40 PM (CDT)

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i am so sorry for all you are having to endure. Matt is such a strong young man. i read your entries and wonder how you do this? and feel helpless to do anything for you. please know that you guys are always in our prayers.... continue to be strong, Matt is so proud of his family, i know he is.
Kelle, mommy to Houston ALL list
Lubbock, TX USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 11:30 PM (CDT)

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You and your family are in our prayers. I pray Matthew will not have to suffer anymore. God Bless You All!

Love
Christine (mom to Nicole)
Christine Apollo
E. Northport, NY USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 11:22 PM (CDT)

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I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you often. I am praying that Matthew will not have to experience any more pain in this life, he is so tough to have endured so much. I am also praying for you, his family, yall are such special people. Take Care & God Bless
Susan
Mobile, AL - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 11:04 PM (CDT)

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Always thinking of you and keeping you all in my prayers.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDS
emmie
River Grove, IL - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 10:38 PM (CDT)

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Just wanted to say good night, and we love you!
Kim Janke
Rolla, mo - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 10:23 PM (CDT)

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No words could adequately describe any feelings I have for the current situation that has plagued this family and matt. I feel horrible that I am healthy and Matt is not. Doesn't seem fair. Good luck with everything. My thoughts and prayers are of course, with you.
Vincent "Violator" Oliverio
Beltsville, MD USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 10:19 PM (CDT)

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My heartfelt sympathies to your family for the pain you must be feeling right now. It's truly sad when life can be robbed from such a young person, especially one you know. I know this isn't an easy thing to experience, having lost a family member of my own to this dreaded disease. Please accept my sincerest condolences.
Matt provided me with many a laugh at his antics in the Frontline channel, and I will miss that.
GG Zof


Kevin "KittyHawk" Brenneman
Tampa, Fl USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 09:44 PM (CDT)

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HI MATT,DEBBIE,DIRK,CHRIS,JULIE , I KNOW THIS IS HARD FOR ALL OF YOU. IT IS AMASEING HOW DEVOTED YOU ALL ARE.GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU ALL.I AM LOST FOR WORDS. WE HAVINT GIVEN UP IF GOD DESIDES TO HEAL MATT . HE CAN IN A INSTANT.WHEN GOD IS READY TO TAKE MATT HOME .HE WILL& HE WILL HAVE EVERLASTING PEACE.WE CAN ONLY HAVE HOPE AND BELIEVE THAT WE WILL JOIN HIM SOMEDAY, WE MUST BELIEVE THAT.LOVE AND PRAYERS IN CHRIST NAME , jesus. rON mILLIE bENJI
rON rEVELLE
BRIdgeton, mo u s a - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 09:41 PM (CDT)

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My heart aches for you as you have to watch your son in so much pain. I pray that Jesus will carry him home soon. May God heal your broken hearts. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
In Christ,
Christina Schwartz(friend of Kathy Charlton)


Christina Schwartz
Boynton Beach, FL USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 09:40 PM (CDT)

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To Matthew and Matthew's family, we are the Doyles from Florida. Back in January 1998 we went through what you are going through now with a 6 month old daughter "Nicole" that was in the Hospice facility. We spent two months there and at the end 15 long days of waiting. God Bless all of you. I am right here feeling with you and praying for and with you. Although it seems like the worst time of your life, these days will be the most bonded time with Matthew and all of your family. May peace and rest be with Matthew and may strength be will all of the family. We too now have another child "Jessica" who has Leukemia A.L.L. and all seems to be going well and we are oh so thankful to the Lord for that. God Bless you again and we will be right here with you all. Bryan, Tricia, Jessica and our "Angel Nicole" Doyle.
Tricia Doyle
Lake Worth, FL USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 08:46 PM (CDT)

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Just a note to let you know that we are praying for you all and thinking of you constantly. I always remember someone saying to me once that we are all gods angels on earth waiting till he needs us then he calls us home. I believe in miracles and with the love of god anything is possible. Take care god bless.
Olivia Champion
Sydney, NSW Australia - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 08:34 PM (CDT)

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We are related to Emily Roberts. We will pray for you also
Rick & Judy Gay
Miamisburg, oh USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 08:20 PM (CDT)

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We are related to Emily Roberts. We will pray for you also
Rick & Judy Gay
Miamisburg, oh USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 08:20 PM (CDT)

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Im so sorry, no words can make the pain lesson.... All I can offer are my prayers.

Thomas Williams
Julian , NC USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 08:07 PM (CDT)

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Wow.. I don't know what to say. I've only ever known Matt through the internet, but even so, just by talking to him and seeing what a lively character he is, its hard to believe that something like this could happen to him.

By reading this journal I can see what a fight he's put up. It's inspiring.

Matt and family are in my prayers.
Kieran "@egis" Easter
Sydney, NSW Australia - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:59 PM (CDT)

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Matt, Zof, I have nothing to say to you that hasn't been said here already. I guess i'm just posting here to show my support. This guestbook is huge and all these people are here for you. I hope that comforts you in some way.
Eric "RabidLeper" Danielson
Boiling Springs, PA Cumberland - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:55 PM (CDT)

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To Matthew and his family - A note to add just one more prayer and to tell you that there are more people who care about Matthew than you will ever know. Matthew's brave fight is yet another testament to how God's plan can bring us all together in faith and love. From my family to yours, much love, many prayers and a world of hope for all of you in the future.


Harry Hamm
Chesterfield, Mo USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:48 PM (CDT)

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My thoughts to matt and his family. he's a tough one and he will keep fighting , just keep the spirits up and and be there for him and each other.
I will miss the time spent playing and talking to matt online , dammit I hope to again someday :)
Steven " Hot Soup" Duffy
Paisley, Renfrewshire Scotland - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:44 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew:

I want to share with you a few verses from Psalm 35:

"Plead my cause, O LORD, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me. Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for mine help. Draw out also the spear, and stop the way against them that persecute me: say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. Let them be confounded and put to shame that seek after my soul: let them be turned back and brought to confusion that devise my hurt. Let them be as chaff before the wind: and let the angel of the LORD chase them. Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them. For without cause have they hid for me their net in a pit, which without cause they have digged for my soul. Let destruction come upon him at unawares; and let his net that he hath hid catch himself: into that very destruction let him fall. And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD: it shall rejoice in his salvation." (Psalm 35:1-9)

"Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the LORD be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant. And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long." (Psalm 35:27-28)

We pray: O LORD, plead Matthew's cause with them that strive with him. Fight against them that fight against him. Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for his help. Draw out also the spear, and stop the way against them that persucute him. Say unto Matthew's soul: "I am Your salvation."

Let them be confounded and put to shame that seek after Matthew's soul. Let them be turned back and brought to confusion that devise his hurt. Let them be as chaff before the wind. Let Your angel chase them. Let their way be dark and slippery. Let Your angel persecute them. Let destruction come upon them at unawares.

May Matthew's soul be joyful in You. May Matthew's soul rejoice in Your salvation. Let them shout for joy and be glad that favor Matthew's righteous cause and have pleasure in his prosperity.

We magnify You, O LORD. Our tongues speak of Your righteousness and of Your praise all the day long. May Matthew's tongue speak of Your righteousness and of Your praise both now and forever in heaven. In the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

Carl Mohme
Florissant, MO USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:35 PM (CDT)

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My name is Kristi Eller and I am a friend of Julie's. I want to let you know that I pray for Matthew and your family everynight. I have looked at the site many times but just did not know what to say. Matthew's fight for life has really touched me and made me think about hte important things in life. He is truly a remarkable young man.
Kristi
Kristi Eller
Maryland Heights, MO USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:18 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Family,
I am a friend of Palmer Moise, Carolyn Moise gave me this site. I am praying for Matthew, God does know th outcome. May God give all of you Peace, Strength, and Comfort through Matthew's last hours.
Melinda Mead
Newport Beach, CA USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:08 PM (CDT)

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I've never posted in your guestbook before now ... mostly because I just don't know what to say. You don't know me, but I have been following your story for several months. I am astonished not only by Matthew's strength and bravery, but by the strength of your family as well. My prayers are with you every day. God is preparing a special place for your brave son - "In my house are many mansions - a room for you I shall prepare."

Peace and comfort to you all.
Justine Germaine
Madison, WI USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 05:56 PM (CDT)

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I am so sorry for all the pain you're watching and feeling.

I remember the days and nights blending into one another, and the feeling that time is both very drawn out and yet passing too quickly. Watching someone you love sleep and sleep.

I hope you can all hold each other up and get through saying goodbye. You're a remarkable family. And, as you know, Matthew will still be with you. You just won't be able to see him for a while.
Emily
Newtown, CT - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 05:16 PM (CDT)

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I'm in awe by the love your family has. Thank you for sharing these special people with us, especially Matthew. I know that I'll never forget him. I pray for him to find peace and for your family's strength through this difficult time.
Shannon
Vancouver, BC Canada - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 05:02 PM (CDT)

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My eyes well up each time i read your entries. I pray for your strength and endurance to make it through this difficult time. My God stay close at your side and give you the strength, courage and endurance to get through each passing moment. (((((((( Mathew )))))))))) Your so brave...
Dianne Smith
Lehigh Acres, Fl - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 04:59 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,How hard it must be for you to write your entry everyday.As I read the entries I see a mother I have never met yet I feel the hurt in your writings . I honestly feel like I know all of your family,because of you Debbie.Thank You for sharing Matt with all of us.Please know that so many people are praying for your family. Paula Moore
Paula Moore
St. Charles, mo 63301 - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 04:45 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Family.
You have got to be the strongest people in the world, and although I know you've heard a lot of this, My prayers are with you all. God works in strange ways, recently my 20 yr old son told me he was gay. Needless to say I was floored and disappointed. But after talking to a friend who lost a son and seeing your website, it made me realize he is healthy and here. I know it's not much, but you can take some peace in the fact that you helped others.
God bless you all and please take care. My thoughts and constant prayers are with you all.

Vince Bonina
Morton, PA USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 04:24 PM (CDT)

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Am praying for all of you constantly....
Kathy Charlton
WPB/Memphis, FL/TN USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 04:23 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Family, I pray for Matt everyday, God has given you all such awesome strength and courage to be going through this. I am a mother of two myself and can't even imagine what this would be like. I pray that God's blessing, peace and love be upon you through this time and that He continues to give you the strength needed for this time. We will continue to pray at our church and in our homes for Matt.
Pete, Chris and Sheri
St. Peters, Mo USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 03:46 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, I am in awe of your strength. Whether you think so or not, you are a strong woman and a wonderful mother to Matthew. Please know that there are hundreds of people sharing in your grief and we appreciate the time you take to update so often. I will continue to pray for the Lord to bring Matthew swiftly to his side, although you will miss him, to give him relief from his pain.
God bless your family.
Vicki, mama to Duncan 3 1/2 ALL-Kids
Copper Canyon, TX - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 03:15 PM (CDT)

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You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.
We know that God is with you and he will continue to be.
May peace be with you and yours.
Michelle Wamhoff and Lyle Rohlf
Ofallon, MO 63366 - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 03:11 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers so much. Julie, I think of you often and hope you are hanging in there OK. We miss you, but know you are exactly where you need to be right now. God bless you all!
Judy Gargus
Murray, Ky - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 03:07 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family ~
My last thoughts before falling asleep, and my first thoughts when I wake up, are of Matthew. I pray that today brings more relief from the pain he is going through. I can barely imagine the difficulty your family continues to face, feeling like you are in this vacuum of time and space. I wish there was more we could do than just pray. I am sending so many good thoughts and heartfelt prayers for all of you. God Bless Matthew.
Love ~ Stacey
Stacey Wada
Las Vegas, NV USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 03:06 PM (CDT)

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Matt, You are an amazing young man with a wonderful family. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. Our prayers continue for peace.

Angel Delaney's Family, Bob, Amy, Kevin-10, and Angel Delaney
www.caringbridge.com/ca/delaney

Amy Wright, Mom of Angel Delaney
San Diego, CA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 03:03 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeiers,

Please know that you are in the hearts and prayers of so many people you do not know and may never meet. Our prayers are for strength for all of you and comfort for Matt. Words are always difficult to come by at times like these, but know that we are all here for you. When our Mary Beth took her final breath, it was a beautiful experience for all of us. We pray that you are all blessed with a similar experience.

God bless you all,

Gerry, Sheila, Barbie, Heidi, Will and our Angel Mary Beth

The Ricken Family (www.ricken.org)
St Louis, MO - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 02:50 PM (CDT)

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I hope you are able to have some more good moments today.
I will contimue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Franci Eberz
Pittsburgh, PA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 02:27 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew,
My name is Sherry Karstens and I am one of Julie's friends. I just wanted to let you know that my husband and I are praying for you. I can't say that I know what you are going through, but I have been through the situation before. Both of my parents have had cancer and it is a tough disease. But we wouldn't have gotten through it if we wouldn't have looked to God to keep us strong. Remember to look to God to give you strength. You are a very brave young man. God Bless you!!!!
Sherry Karstens
St. Louis, MO USa - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 01:57 PM (CDT)

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DEAR MATTHEW, DEBBIE, DIRK, CHRISTOPHER, AND JULIE. OUR PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS ARE WITH ALL OF YOU. WE PRAY THAT GOD HAS BROUGHT PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL OF YOU. MATTHEW YOU ARE TRUELY THE WIND BENEATH OUR WINGS.LOVE GREG, SUE,GREG JR. AND PATRICK.
SUSAN FACKLER
WHITEHALL, PA. USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 12:53 PM (CDT)

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All of you are in my prayers. I can't imagine what you are feeling. God bless you.
Christi Hamilton
Dove Canyon, CA USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 10:43 AM (CDT)

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Dirk & Debbie:

I talked with Jay the other day, and he told me about this website. We are praying for Matthew and your family.


Sheila Sorrell
Granite City, IL USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 10:42 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
Just got back from a Light the Night meeting where Brandon is a Shining Survivor. Prior to telling our story, I shared some of Matt's story (no identifying info). We need people to realize what torture kids like Matt are going through. No one should rest until we find a cure for this horrible, horrible disease. Matt has been through more than any child should ever have to go through.

Sorry, this is not a note really of encouragement, but I just wanted to let you know that Matt's fight and courage will never be forgotten and I truly hope his couragous battle, even in the face of certain death, will encourage everyone to raise money, open the purses to help find a cure for this horrific disease!
Colleen
Herndon, VA USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 10:22 AM (CDT)

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My heart breaks for you as I read each new entry. I just can't imagine the pain you all are in right now. I pray daily for God to grant you comfort and peace. Thank you so much for taking the time to keep us all updated daily. I have come to feel quite a connection to Matthew and your family through this site. I truly admire the strength and love you possess and only hope that my family would be so strong and faithful in the face of such tragedy. God has truly blessed you all!
Susan Vicari
Pittsgrove, NJ - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 08:19 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I'm thinking about you and sending lots of love and many prayers your way. Please give Matt a hug from me.

All my love,
gelene
Gelene Lorentzen
- Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:34 AM (CDT)

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To You Yahweh I lift up my soul.
Hear the prayers of Your faithful children, Lord.
Please bring Matthew to Yourself, wipe away every tear from our eyes. Grant him peace. We pray in the only way we know how, in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Judy Blicharz
McLean, VA USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 06:50 AM (CDT)

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matthew.i can only say to try and stay strong, god loves you and will help you even though sometimes its hard to feel him..all my prayers and hope are with you
sue chen
plymouth, ma - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 03:18 AM (CDT)

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The Lord is close to the broken-hearted." Ps 34:18
"He heals the broken-hearted and binds up all their wounds." Ps 147:3 Our hearts and prayers are with you all. Come, Lord Jesus!
Beth McQuin & family
Mt Airy, MD USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 02:19 AM (CDT)

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Hallemeier Family~

Still praying for peace and comfort for Matthew and family.

In His grip,
Elizabeth

"Faith sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible."
---Unknown

Elizabeth's Journey
Elizabeth Wriker - 20 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes
Enid, OK USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 12:37 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew,
I am so so sorry about all of your pain and suffering. I hope the morphine drip keeps Matthew out of pain and that Jesus will take him to heaven soon where he will be happy.
I compare heaven to Disneyworld which is a beautiful place filled with happiness. Heaven will be even better because it will be perfect. We send all of our love and prayers to you. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary

Susan Roach
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 12:14 AM (CDT)

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I am soooo happy you got the Morphine drip:)I have been praying you would.It should ease things alot.It did for the adults I took care of. It will make things so much more peaceful for Matthew and for you all who are watching over him. If it doesn't, the rate isn't right. Grimaces will help when he becomes deeply sedated.Remember the Versed effects your short-term memory. So if he wakes, he shouldn't remember the really painful times. God bless you and keep you close. May you find peace as his time draws near.As you once told him--he gets to meet God sooner than any of us. His reward will be great. I believe you all have taken up your cross.We are always praying. (Catherine too)Love,Lisa and Family
Lisa Salem
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 11:33 PM (CDT)

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O God, you are my God, I earnestly seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. (ps.63:1-2)

But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God..." Eph.2:4-8

We are thinking about you Matt, as you prepare to go home. What a tremendous place that awaits you. We pray that the Lord come quickly, and take you peacefully. You will be missed by so many.

Debbie, Dirk, Julie, and Christopher ~
Those verses above are for you also. We pray that Christ bring you his peace as he did to Thomas when Christ appeared to him after his resurrection. We pray that you are comforted by his saving word. He, too, will lift you up. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you, and give you His peace. You all are in our thoughts and prayers.

Julie and Chris Bushre
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 11:26 PM (CDT)

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Our thoughts and prayers continue for you all. I'm so sorry for the pain you are all experiencing, especially Matthew. He is such a fighter! PLEASE GOD, let him find peace soon!
MATT, YOU'RE A CHAMP!
Love & cuddles from,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 11:23 PM (CDT)

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Thank you for the updates on precious Matthew. I know it can't be easy. I wake up in the morning thinking of him and he is my last thought in the evening.
Holding you all tightly in thought and prayer
Sheri (Ashton's mom, age 6 -- t-cell ALL)
Vienna, VA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 11:01 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemaier Family,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. Your love and devotion to your family is truly an inspiration to us. We never got the chance to meet Matthew but we feel a kinship with him through your strength and love for him. We haved shared what we know about Matthew and his fight for his life with our children. He has been truly heroic.
Your family is in our prayers,
Lisa,Joe,Elyssa and Dominic
The Donato Family
Dardenne Praire, Mo. - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 10:45 PM (CDT)

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Julie, Matthew, and Family,
You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Just wanted you to know that my family and I are praying for you.
Love,
Nikki Key
Paducah, KY USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 10:39 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemier Family, I joined my prayers with everybody today,praying for your peace. It is so hard. I sang the song "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" for Matt several times today. God be with you,
Robyn Delgado
San Diego, CA USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 09:36 PM (CDT)

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I'm so sorry you guys and epecially Matthew are going through this. We are all praying for you.
Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page

- Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 09:11 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, Julie, Christopher and Matthew,
We have been reading about Matthew. I know every minute with him is cherished. We all pray for your family. We find ourselves remembering different moments we have shared with your family as if they were only yesterday. Matthew has touched so many peoples'lives;,people who know him personally and people who know about him through this web page. He has a wonderful spirit. God placed him in such a special family. We love you so much and share in your pain. I pray for strength and comfort that ony God can give. Love Camellia, Dave, Tara and Shannon
The Callahan Family
Bridgeton, MO USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 08:33 PM (CDT)

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We feel the depth of your pain. May God continue to bless you all and give you comfort. May God welcome Matt into His loving arms.
The Conovers
Pittsburgh, PA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 08:17 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family, just read the latest update. I really feel for your family and what you are going through, though I know I could never come close to the amount of strength you have held in these long slow days and nites. You all are such a wonderful family. We will continue to pray for you all. Love, Shannon and Ervin
Shannon and Ervin Fackler
Winfield , MO USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 08:00 PM (CDT)

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debbie,dirk,julie and christopher, Just wanted to let you know that we all are thinking of you. It's been good to be able to check on Matthew's progress without having to bother anyone. I would do anything I could right now but all I can is pray for all of you. Our thoughts are always with you.
Stephanie and family
poughkeepsie, NY - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 07:34 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Chrisopher, & Matthew:

"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:31-39)

We pray: Dear God, what shall we say to these things? If You be for us, who can be against us? If You be for Matthew, who can be against him? We thank You for sparing not Your own Son, Your only begotten Son, to suffer and die on the cross for our sins. What a price He paid for us! And we thank You that Jesus is risen again! We thank You that He has ascended on high. We thank You that Jesus is making intercession for Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew at this difficult time. We praise You, God, that tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, or sword cannot separate us from the love of Christ! And while we may be killed all the day long...while we may be accounted as sheep for the slaughter...in all these things we are more than conquerors through Christ that loved us. And while it may see at this time that Matthew is being conquered, we know and believe that he is more than conquering through Jesus! We thank You for Your love in Christ Jesus our Lord. Comfort the hearts of Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew. Fill them with peace that passes all understanding. Keep their hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Bring Matthew safely home to be with You forever. We pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Carl Mohme
Florissant, MO USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 07:05 PM (CDT)

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I cannot even BEGIN to imagine how hard this must be for you. As an aplastic anemia patient, as I've gotten older I've always thought it was harder for the people who love me, especially my parents, to watch me suffer than it was for me to suffer. I don't know if Matthew feels the same way, but I know this has to be incredibly hard for you. The only one who knows how you feel completely is God. Know that prayers are going up to Him from me on your behalf. And I will continue to pray for Him to take Matthew soon and peacefully.
Khalita
Durham, NC - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 06:23 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, thank you so much for continuing the updates on Matthew, even though it breaks my heart to read them. You and your family are so strong during all of this. I am continuing to think of you all and am offering prayers of comfort for Matthew right now. He is so brave and so courageous and is such a HERO. This transition is just sooo difficult. My best to you all.

BIG {{HUGS}},
Vicki Hoffman ~ ^i^ Mike ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike
Anaheim, CA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 05:36 PM (CDT)

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Our continued love of thoughts for all of you. Thank you for your updates, Debbie. When I am sending good thoughts and prayers to Matthew, I know what to ask for... today I am asking that the pain in his body is overtaken by peace.
Annie Thomas
Gainesville, FL - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 04:19 PM (CDT)

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My prayers are with you all today. Take care of yourselves and know we are all here standing behind you. Please call for anything, anytime.
Mandy
St. Louis Children's Hospital, - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 04:04 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Julie, Christopher and Matthew, I'm in awe of your strength and courage! We pray that Matthew will be out of pain and in a Better place--he truly is a fighter and an inspiration. You have a right to be so proud of him. We are thinking of and praying for each of you!
The Francis Family--Karen, Terry, Jennifer, Rebecca and Douglas
Karen Francis
Bridgeton, Mo USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 03:41 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk & Family..We are continuing to pray for all of you that you will soon find peace...and that Matthew will soon be safe in the arms of Jesus. In the last days with my father as he was heavily sedated with morphine, I found myself sitting on the edge of the chair breathing with him as the cheyne-stoke respirations had set in. Knowing that I wanted to keep him around forever, but that I was so ready for him to have peace a nurse asked me if she could open up the window and let the angles in, not many hours after that my father passed away. I do feel your pain, not wanting to let go, but wanting peace. Matthew is such a trooper..Please know that we are praying for all of you. God Bless you all.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens
Sullivan, IL - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 03:39 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallmeyer Family,
You all are in our constant prayers, we not only pray that Jesus comes to take Matthew home but also that you all feel the strength and love that you can only receive from our precious Lord and Savior. I pray that you feel the loving arms of Jesus around you as He also holds you to his side. He will NEVER leave you...My mom (God bless her soul)used to have a little saying when a child went to heaven. It goes like this: God didn't GIVE you this child, not by a million miles, He just knew that you needed alot of love, so He LENT him for awhile. What a Blessing it is to know that Matthew will return to his heavenly Father.
BLESS YOU ALL
Sherry Lewis/Our Savior Lutheran Church
- Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 03:28 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, Debbie and family:

Just want you to know I am thinking of you daily in thoughts and prayers. Peace be with you.
cindy keller
mo usa - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 03:19 PM (CDT)

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Sometimes I think God lets us suffer so that when he does call us home our family appreciates the fact that they are not longer in pain. Does that make sense to you? I just know that when my young brother (47) died we could not wish him back considering the pain he had been suffering. I hope I am not confusing you, but those are my thoughts. I am on my knees this afternoon praying for your entire family.
Chloe Albert
Decatur, IL 62526 - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 03:10 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt,
I'm glad to hear about your amazing progress!!!! Everyone on 8West will be thrilled to hear how much better you are doing. Hope to see you again.
Your former advisement and history teacher
Mr. Brown
Ofallon, Mo 63366 - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 02:50 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
Thanks again for the update. I continue in constant prayer. I can't help but cry as I read your journal entries and can picture the scene going on. My heart just aches thinking of Matthew in pain, he doesn't deserve this. Nor do any of you deserve to have to see him this way. I pray for strength for all of you today, you are doing an awesome job preparing Matthew for his journey to be with Jesus. I am so sorry you have to go through this and wish there was something I could do besides pray. Just remember there are so many people out here that you don't even know, yet your whole family has made impressions in all of our hearts that will never go away. God bless all of you. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 02:38 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family,
Gerry Ricken is a friend of mine and he had a link to your page from beautiful Mary Beth's page. We live in Garden Plain, KS and will be praying for your entire family. God bless you all with the strength during these trying times. There is such merit in suffering and I know you all will be blessed even more for all you have been through. Take care of each other, much love and prayers, Evelyn Cranmer and family
Evelyn Cranmer
Garden Plain, KS USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 02:05 PM (CDT)

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Matt and family,
You are an amazing young man. I admire your whole family and the strength that you have. Hang in there. You are in my thoughts every day.
Jennifer Smith
Bridgeton, mo usa - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 12:44 PM (CDT)

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Dear Mathew and Debbie and Dirk,

Sorry to hear about all the rough time that Mathew, and I am sure all of you, are going through. Our prayers are always with you. Your journal updates are so vivid and real - it brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.
Jiten Shah father to Raj (pre-B ALL) from the ALL-Kids list. caringbridge.com/nj/rajshah
South Brunswick, NJ USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 12:08 PM (CDT)

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Hallemeier family ~
You continue in our thoughts and prayers daily. Yesterday we enjoyed a beautiful summer day splashing in the river near Hoover Dam. The sun was shining, the ducks were quacking, a warm breeze was blowing. Bryce and Chad were laughing and playing and just having a wonderful time. As I watched them, my thoughts turned to Matthew, and I thanked God for this day. Matthew has helped me appreciate the laughter of my boys, and the sun shining on a summer day. Matthew has inspired me to see the good in all situations. He has touched my life and made a place in my heart forever. He has changed the world.
I am praying that Matthew find eternal peace soon, but I admit it is difficult. I pray for strength for all of you and hope that you are finding comfort through the Lord and one another. My spirit is with you though I am so far away!
With Love,
Stacey and family
The Wada Family
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 11:43 AM (CDT)

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Dirk, Debbie and Matt: May the Lord put his loving arms around you and comfort you with a peace and love that only HE can provide. You are such a strong and faithful family and God will Bless each of you for your faithfulness. May Matt be comfortable and free of pain today. Our prayers are with all of your family. God Bless You. The Hyland Family.
Peggy Hyland
Mason, OH - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 11:12 AM (CDT)

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Matthew, Julie and family,

I am so sad for you all. You remain in my prayers.

Sherry McClain
Murray, Ky. - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 10:00 AM (CDT)

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Hello Matthew...you dont know me but I was looking at your journal enteries and your updates and I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you.You have to be very brave to be going through what you are and many people admire you for that! Keep your head high and God will answer your prayers!
Carley Kearns
Oxford, Ohio United States - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 09:59 AM (CDT)

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Matthew:

My family and I continue to pray for your strength and courage. My heart breaks for the pain that you and your family have endured in your battle. You have touched so many lives and are very loved.

www.caringbridge.org/ga/palmer
William Moise
Stone Mountain, GA USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 09:47 AM (CDT)

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Hang in there Debbie, Dirk and all. Peace is coming, but at such a price. I look into the web site everyday to see how you all are. Thanks for including all of us in your time of pain. You are all prayed for. I just feel so sad that he fought so long to go thru this. We love you.
Yours in Christ. Keep strong.
Sue Thomas
Toledo, Oh - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 09:45 AM (CDT)

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Good Morning , Matt and family.
This is bonnie prince out in wildwood, I checked in this morning to see how your night was. You are such a close family and a loving family. Thanks for allowing all of us into your most private moments with each other. God is using Matt for all of us. Thank you God and Thank you Matt. You are truely "a child of God's and one of His Own". Praying continually, Bjp
B. Prince
wildwood, mo - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 09:42 AM (CDT)

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Matt and family,

You are in our thoughts and prayers all day. You will most certainly be missed here, but we are so comforted by knowing of the love of your family and the many passages in this guestbook. We will think of you from now on as a true angel - you can watch over all of us from time to time.

We are so very proud of you!!

Love
Alex, Joan, Dave, Kristen, and Maddy
Joan Noss
Bridgeton, MO - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 08:27 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Matthew and Family
As I read your latest journal entry, a vivid image of Jesus hanging on the cross comes to mind, the bleeding, His personal agony, and the agony of His mother and beloved disciple near by. When I really think about those last hours of our Savior's life, I am torn between utter awe at His willingness to die for me, and shame for my own petty complaints of headaches, hangnails, and whatever... all insignificant in comparison to what you are enduring. I do believe that God does not cause us to suffer, but rather that He allows us to suffer (in some mysterious way) for our own good. I am thankful that He can see the end result and that He never abandons us along the way. May God keep company with you today in a real and tangible way today. Please know that I am offering a day of fast & prayer for Matthew today. With much love from,
Judy Blicharz
McLean, VA USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 07:02 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family,
I pray that the Lord will relieve Matthew's suffering soon so that your hearts can start the slow healing process. Then you can claim this verse as I have. "I will both lay me down in peace and sleep for thou Lord only, maketh me to dwell in safety."
Virginia Larson (Mom to Michael, resident of heaven as of 10/8/01)
Taylors, SC USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 04:55 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Matthew, Debbie and family - I join the many around the world praying for the pain-free comfort of this sweet young man. Debbie, it tears at our hearts.
Gloria McShane, mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS
Richmond, North Yorkshire, UK - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 03:07 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew:

"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah. (Psalm 62:5-8)

"Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." (Psalm 73:25-26)

"Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, and be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith." (Philippians 3:8-9)

We pray: Dear God, we wait upon You. Our expectation is from You. You are our rock. You are our salvation. You are our defense. You are our refuge. We shall not be moved. We pour out our hearts before You. Have mercy upon Matthew! Deliver him from his suffering. Save him! Whom have we in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that we desire beside You. As Matthew's flesh and his heart fails, may You be the strength of his heart, and his portion forever. We thank You that Matthew possesses the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus his Lord. As Matthew passes from this life, may he be found in Christ, not having his own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith. Comfort Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew. Be their rock, their salvation, their defense, their refuge, and their strength. We commit Matthew's spirit into Your hand. You have redeemed him, O LORD God of truth. We bless You. In the name of our resurrected Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.

Carl Mohme
Florissant, MO USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 01:46 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family~

I was gone this weekend to visit my transplant doctor in Dallas. Tonight has been the first night in about 3 or 4 days since I last checked for an update. When it's been a few days, I always quickly scroll down to the journal history to read the entries in order. I have to tell you that I am a little nervous as to what I will be reading in each entry.

It is so good that you and your family can be by Matthew's side right now during his last few days. I am sure it means a lot to him, even though he is confused at times.

I am praying for the Lord to bring Matthew comfort from his pain, and clearness to his mind so that it will be easier to somewhat enjoy the end. Him being confused is probably hard for the family so I pray that you all have understanding. Sending a lot of love and hugs from the great plains of Oklahoma.

(((((*HUGS*)))))

Always in my prayers,
Elizabeth

"There will be a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."
---Louis L'Amour


Elizabeth's Journey
Elizabeth Wriker - 20 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes
Enid, OK USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 01:32 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Family, My prayers are for you to have the answers to your own prayers. I'm holding you close in my heart. Families are Forever, Love Robyn
Robyn Delgado
San Diego, CA USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 12:21 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Christopher, Julie, and Matthew,
I felt so sorry and sad after reading your entry today. I just can't imagine what you are all going through. You are a strong and wonderful family. We will keep praying for Matthew and your family. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 12:02 AM (CDT)

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God bless Matthew and the entire Hallemeier family.
The Wilson family <bwilson13@kc.rr.com>
Overland Park, KS USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 10:49 PM (CDT)

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Thanks for all the updates. I hope the new pain meds bring him peace and comfort. God bless you during this most difficult time.You are so strong.What a wonderful thing you are doing for Matthew--keeping him in the comfort of his own home.I'm sure it must be hard. You are always in my heart and prayers.Love,Lisa and Family
Steve,Lisa, and Catie Salem <stevesalem@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 09:04 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeiers: May God continue to give you strength, comfort and peace through this difficult time. Just reading your entries it is evident God has blessed Matt's life. He is such a strong young man. He is in the hands of the most precious father GOD. Our family and Church is praying for you Matt and your whole family. We know that prayer is the most important thing we can do.

You probalby do not know me, but my son is a patient at Children's his name is Kearby Turner (3 1/2 yrs.) Kearby is on the prog 9806, same as Matthew and Alexandria. I know Alison Haddock, we have the same clinic day; she let me know that you and your family could use our prayers. My heart aches for you all. God has the perfect plan for Matthew even though we may not agree. May God continue to bless you all. And Matthew, may you have peace knowing that God has your hand and he will not let go. Written with love - Erin Turner
Erin Turner <erinchantel@hotmail.com>
Festus, MO USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 09:02 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family, thank you for keeping us updated. I cant imagine how hard it must be to watch your own child having so much pain and confusion. It is amazing how strong his 16 year old teenage self is. Who new! I guess he will prove us all wrong. However we will pray for his passing to be peacefull and quick, to save everyone pain and greif. Love,
Shannon and Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO Usa - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 08:05 PM (CDT)

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I have been traveling (from CA to GA) and didn't have internet access while on the road but Matthew, and you all, were in my thoughts and prayers the whole time. Just spent a few minutes "visiting" with you all and catching up. I was so happy to read that Julie and Christopher spent some time laughing and sharing with Matthew the other day. I remember in my mom's last days, the laughter was as frequent (and as IMPORTANT) as the tears and provided memories I cherish. Matthew is so loved, you are truly a family blessed - hard to feel that way at this time I'd guess, but you are ...... God has given you His most PRECIOUS gift, LOVE! I pray that love carries you forward in the days, months, and years to come. Matthew continues to be in my prayers and my thoughts, as do you all. GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU!
Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA (currently @ Ft. Benning, GA), CA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 08:02 PM (CDT)

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Matthew you are such a fighter ! What an inspiration to the rest of us. Thanks Matt, I know I'll never forget you no matter what happens.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 07:36 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeiers,
Just wanted you to know how much we admire your strength and the admirable way you all are dealing with a situation not many of us can even imagine. You all are in our thoughts and prayers and I know when Matt is ready he most certainly will know he is loved.
The Briggs Family
Lorie Briggs <tbriggs2@earthlink.net>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 07:17 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family--I continue to think of you so often....trusting that God will continue His work in His way and give you all the strength and comfort you need during this time when it is difficult for us to know or understand His plan. Thank you again for the privilege of "knowing" all of you and the opportunity to witness the outpouring of love and support from so many--all inspired by your wonderful examples of courage, strength, faith and love.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDS
emmie <mmoxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 07:04 PM (CDT)

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To a very courageous, very special young man.....Matthew
My thought and prayers are with you and your family.
May God grant you and your family comfort and peace.

God Bless!
Pernelle <HostSnackie@attbi.com>
New Brighton, PA USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 06:33 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,

I check on Matthew every day. Please know that he, and your entire family are in my prayers. You are a inspiration to us all. May Matthew find peace and comfort soon, and your family continue to have strength.
Much love

Laurie, Mom to Kaleigh Dx ALL 6/99 <Mlkttk@aol.com>
Noblesville, In - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 06:33 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family, A friend in Nebraska ask for prayers for Matthew. We at St. Micheal's have a really great number of prayer partners, Know that our prayers are with you all. St. Michael's Episcopal Church, Newberg, Oregon
Shirley Silvis <slsilvas@juno.com>
Dundee, Or 97115 - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 05:46 PM (CDT)

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I have never written before, though I read your site often after having been referred here by the Pearl family (whose children are also ill.) I felt it would be an intrusion, but today after reading that you take comfort in the words here, I thought it would be okay to go ahead. Your courage and kindness are such an inspiration and I am so very sad that you are having to go through this terrible time. I'm glad that you have the comfort of your faith, the love of family and friends, and a willingness to accept the love of strangers as well. You have touched so many hearts. I wish you comfort and peace.
Elaine Halley <elainehalley@seas.wustl.edu>
Saint Louis, MO USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 04:30 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier Family;

You are all in my thoughts and prayers everyday.

Anne Kaufman <leftyanne02@hotmail.com>
St. Louis, MO - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 04:17 PM (CDT)

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Dirk, Debbie, Julie and Christopher -
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. You are a very strong family. We hope that you know God's everlasting peace and know that He is present with all of you, as He is with Matt. We pray too, that you are comforted by His Gospel message... that His saving grace is for all of you, as it is for Matt... that is a great hope for us all. We are thinking about you, and pray for you all in this difficult time.
Julie and Chris Bushre <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 03:42 PM (CDT)

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Dear God, please continue to place your Holy Spirit of comfort and inner strength on the Hallemeier family during this time, in Jesus name we pray, Amen.
Phil French <rmsphil@aol.com>
Phoenix, AZ. USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 03:36 PM (CDT)

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Debbie & family,

My heart goes out to you. I know it must be difficult as a mother to see your child in pain and not be able to take it away. I will continue to keep your family in prayer. Debbie your strength has truly been an inspiration to me. My mom and I check on Matthew everyday, just remember that you have a huge circle of friends out there praying for Matthew and your family.
Jacqueela Mason <nikkimckinney@hotmail.com>
Largo, MD - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 03:28 PM (CDT)

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I hope Matt finds peace soon.
You are an extrordinary family.
Our prayers for your family continue.

Franci Eberz <feberz@stargate.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 03:08 PM (CDT)

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Just checking to see how Matthew and all are doing..What a strong young man Matthew is and how brave. We are praying that Matthew will be relieved of his pain soon and that you will all receive peace. You are all always in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless you all.

When trouble comes, as it does to us all,
God is so great and we are so small~~

But thers is nothing that we need know
If we have faith that wherever we go

God will be waiting to help us bear
Our pain and sorrow, our suffering and care~~

For no pain or suffering is ever to much
To yield itself to God's merciful touch!

Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 03:07 PM (CDT)

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My Wishes For You

May you find serenity and tranquility in a world
you may not always understand.

May the pain you have known
and the conflict you have experienced
give you the strength to walk through life
facing each new situation
with optimism and courage.

Always know that there are those
whose love and understanding
will always be there
even when you feel most alone.

May you discover enough goodness in others
to believe in a world of peace.

May a kind word, a reassuring touch,
a warm smile, be yours every day of your life,
and may you give these gifts as well as receive them.

Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending.

May the teaching of those you admire
become part of you,
so that you may call upon them.

Remember, those whose lives you have touched
and who have touched yours are always a part of you,
even if the encounters were less
than you would have wished.

Realize that each person has limitless abilities,
but each of us is different in our own way.

What you may feel you lack in one regard
may be more than compensated for in another.
What you feel you lack in the present
may become one of your strengths in the future.
 
May you find enough inner strength
to determine your own worth by yourself,
and not be dependent on another's judgements
of your accomplishments.

May you always feel loved.

 
© 1987 Sandra Sturtz Hauss
HelenH <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
England, - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 02:55 PM (CDT)

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Like so many others, I check daily for your updates, and continue to hope for peace and comfort for your family. It amazes me how this circle grows daily...thank you for allowing us into your lives at such a difficult time.
Teri Xavier <tex612@aol.com>
Nashville, TN - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 02:40 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and Family,
You remain in our thoughts and prayers daily. What a strong and wonderful family you are. We pray for comfort and peace for you all.
Jerry, Pam, Jonathon, Jason, Megan & JJ
Bogle Family <mbogle@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 02:35 PM (CDT)

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Julie and family ... you remain in my prayers. We continue to think about you here in Mkt and PR every day. I checked the site this morning and Steph just called and told me there was an update now so I came back. I'm so glad you can all be together for each other. May peace come from knowing in your hearts that you did everything you possibly could to make Matthew comfortable and let him know how much he is loved. God's strength be with you.
Ava Watkins <ava.watkins@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 02:33 PM (CDT)

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Debbie - Thank you so much for taking the time to do your updates. I pray that God will continue to give you the awesome strength you and your entire are showing during this time and that Matthew will find peace soon.
God bless you,
Lisa Agee (www.caringbridge.com/page/ross) <lagee67@hotmail.com>
Camden, AL - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 02:32 PM (CDT)

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Our prayers are with all of you. Thank you for providing this website...it cannot be easy.
Josh and Leslie Knight <leslie.knight@anheuser-busch.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 02:21 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and family
We check on you every day, and our hearts are aching for the pain you are suffering. We pray that God will bring you home very soon. We pray for continued strength and comfort for all of you as you care for Matt. Your love and devotion has been a shining light for all of us.
Al and Mary Heinbokel <mheinbok@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 02:20 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,
We are still praying here in NE. We pray for your strenghth and courage. I can't even imagine going through what you have to endur on a daily basis. As a mother myself I can only say that may God be with you and I will continue to pray and pray for all of you daily
Lisa Kalcik <lkalcik@alltel.net>
Crete, NE USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 02:18 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
Thanks once again for the update, it is so incredible that during all this you take the time to keep all of us informed about Matthew's day. I sit here with tears just wishing that things could be a different way. If all it took were prayers, Matthew would have been healed and back to his old self long ago. I wish it was easier to understand God's plan, but I guess that is why it is called "having faith"! I pray for comfort for Matthew and that God's will be done. Please let Julie and Christopher know what absolutely wonderful siblings they are. I can't imagine how hard it is for them to watch all this unfold. What a wonderful family you and Dirk have raised, you must be so proud!! I will continue in prayer constantly for all of you! Please let Matthew know there is a lady in Illinois that is in absolute awe of his strength and determination. God has to be so pleased!! With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 02:17 PM (CDT)

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"We're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace....There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." --2 Corinthians 4:16,18 (from The Message trans.)

Dear Matthew and Family,
Please hold fast to the promise of our LORD that we shall inherit everlasting life. Our "goodbyes" now are very painful, but we look forward to a Heaven of unending "hellos" never again parting from our beloved ones.

Many prayers throughout the day from,
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 01:20 PM (CDT)

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I, too, check often to see how Matt is doing. We are thinking of your family during this difficult time. You have all been so strong for Matt, and he for you. Wishing you peace,
Amy Wright, Mom of Angel Delaney, www.caringbridge.com/ca/delaney <Wright_Amy@hotmail.com>
San Diego, CA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 12:36 PM (CDT)

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OK - so if you check the time - you know that I am visiting during work. I just get anxious and have to check for updates (just don't tell my boss).
Of all of the wonderful promises in His Word - the one that I see you clinging to the most is the promise of HIS PEACE! It seems that you have a deep enrooting of the peace that passes all understanding! May The Father continue to strengthen you physically and spiritually as He works His will in His time.
We love you all !

Jay Madas <jmadas@usisp.com>
Troy, IL 62294 - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 12:22 PM (CDT)

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DEAR MATTHEW, DEBBIE,DIRK, JULIE AND CHRISTOPHER. WE ARE GRATEFUL THAT MATTHEW IS COMFORTABLE. GOD HAS LET PEACE AND COMFORT SETTLE INTO MATTHEW. MATTHEW HAS BEEN AN INSPIRATION TO ALL OF HIS FAMILY. I CAN SEE THIS INSPIRATION THROUGH THE EYES OF GREGORY JR. AND PATRICK. WE ARE TRUELY BLESSED TO HAVE MATTHEW IN OUR FAMILY. LOVE GREGORY, SUSAN, GREGORY JR. AND PATRICK
SUSAN FACKLER <SOCCERMOM 121@ AOL.COM>
WHITEHALL, PA USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 11:17 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,Dirk,Julie,Christopher and Matthew,Although I've only known you a short time you have become such an inspiration. The love your family has for each other is so overwhelming. It's no wonder Matthew keeps fighting. He'll make a wonderful "guardian angel". God Bless you all and may you soon feel peace.
Sandy Wagner <sandyfrank@msn.com>
Dardenne Prairie, MO USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 10:32 AM (CDT)

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Hello To Matthew and your family. I am Barbara, Robert Charlton's Mimi. I got to your site through Robert Mitchell's. I was so sad to read your report, but I know that you are a strong bunch and I know that you are blessed in ways that only you can know. This is an insidious disease and it makes no sense. When someone asked me, "How did he get this?" before I could answer, my friend said, "He was unlucky." I couldn't even respond, but after a moment, I had to agree. In life, we take what we are given and try to regulate it to our lives. Since this disease has entered our family, I see so much love and blessings that I try not to complain, only count the times we can smile, laugh and move forward. In closing, please let me say to you Debbie and all your family: God bless you and may he hold you close inside during this most trying of times. God Bless, Barbara
Barbara Waldron <imb4ubunny@aol.com>
west palm beach, , fl usa - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 10:30 AM (CDT)

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All of you are in our hearts and our prayers. We ache for you. We are so thankful that Matthew is comfortable.
Clare and Anita Knight <ClaudeKn@aol.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 10:08 AM (CDT)

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I am going to pray for this family every day. Debby Roberts(my sister)sent me this, and we will all be checking in on you. Please know that you are not alone.
elaine freeman <efrbyrd>
okeana, oh usa - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 10:05 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew:

Fix your eyes upon Jesus!

"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all." (Isaiah 53:4-6)

Matthew, fix your eyes upon Jesus!

"Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls." (1 Peter 2:24-25)

Matthew, fix your eyes upon Jesus!

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever." (Psalm 23)

We pray: Dear Jesus, we thank You for bearing our sins in Your own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness. We thank You that through Your stripes we have been healed. We were as sheep going astray. We are so thankful to be returned to You, the Shepherd and Bishop of our souls. As Matthew and his family walk through the valley of the shadow of death, may they fear no evil. Be with them. Comfort them with Your rod and Your staff. May goodness and mercy follow Matthew and his family all the days of their lives. May Matthew and his family dwell in Your house forever. We pray in the name of Jesus, who died for our sins and rose again the third day. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 09:35 AM (CDT)

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Little Angels
When God calls little children to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometime question the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world, seem wonderful and mild
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold,
So He picks a rosebud, before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them, and so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult still somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows will always be "Goodbye."
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children, Angels are hard to find.


--Author Unknown


Jennifer <jennifer@msn.com>
- Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 09:29 AM (CDT)

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Hi all,
Chris and I are thinking of you all constantly. I am so sorry for Matt's suffering and pain. He's endured such a battle and and yet continues to fight. Your family's such an inspiration and we are so proud of all of you. We're still praying for you and sending you lots of love.
Michelle and Uncle Chris


Michelle Mathews <mmathews74@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 09:14 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew,
I have been checking on you all daily with prayers and tears. ( I am on day by day)When Brett was where Matthew is now, he talked often with someone he referred to only as "He" and "Him" who helped transition him to his new home. If healing cannot take place here, then i pray for Matt's peace and that "He" will help Matthew peacefully home. (Brett said that "He" told him you could snowboard or waterski there for three weeks in a row without paying any money!!:) Please know i am keeping you in my thoughts and my prayers for the "peace that transcends all understanding". The Lord is with Matthew and with your family always.
Kathryn Freeman-Jones <kfreemanjo@aol.com>
Midlothian, Va USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 08:48 AM (CDT)

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My name is Pat Fonder - I am from Wisconsin and this was sent to me by Jim Freeman from Ohio. I just want you to know that my prayers are with you -
Pat Fonder <pfonder@tycoint.com>
Marinette, Wi USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 07:42 AM (CDT)

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To The Hallemeier Family,
I am praying for all of you. I don't know what your needs are but God does. I pray, God that you will take care of this family, and bring them peace and comfort at this time. Please take Matthew's pain away and let him go peacefully into your arms, Lord. I pray that you will use this families' experience to Your glory. In Christ's name , amen.
karen mahabir <kkmahabir@hotmail.com>
lebanon, mo - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 07:19 AM (CDT)

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Keeping up my prayers for your family. Know that you have lots of support out here.
Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 07:18 AM (CDT)

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Just wanted you to know that your family has been in my thoughts and prayers.
Priscilla from ALL-KIDS, mom to Arielle 10/2/91-7/11/01 <pcooperman@tcsn.net>
Templeton, CA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 01:05 AM (CDT)

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I want you to know that I continue to check in on Matt. Beth McQuin shared the site and I'm on dbd with you also. I am going to check everyday...please know you are being prayed for....
Holding you all tightly...(((((((((((Matt))))))))))))))))
Christy Fitzpatrick <Ourangeljordyn@aol.com>
Fort Riley, KS USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 12:46 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matthew,
Just wanted to say hi and tell you we are thinking and praying for all of you. When I read your journal today, I felt so sad. May Jesus help all of you and give Matthew his eternal peace. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 12:31 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you daily! May God bless and keep you all very close! Your strength is truly inspirational.
Sara Drake <babar00@yahoo.com>
Murray, KY 42071 - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 11:34 PM (CDT)

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I could not sleep, and thought I'd check one last time for an update. I am proud to be visitor 40,000. The love that has been shared in this guestbook is amazing. I cannot tell you how often I think of Matthew throughout the day, especially with my children. I am learning to look at situations and to ask myself, "how important is this?" Thank you Matthew for helping me to learn patience.
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, mo - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 11:29 PM (CDT)

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I'm still checking daily. It's hard not to check hourly! I so appreciate you updating us. I don't know how you have the strength! We all love and admire all your family. You all seem so strong and loving. Matthew is lucky to have a family like yours. I hope and pray you all get through this with as little pain as possible. Say "Hi" to Aunt Hazel when you see her. I'm hoping to hear from her one of these days.
Love you,
Barb Cary
Barbara Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, CA USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 11:14 PM (CDT)

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I believe there are angels amoung us and I also believe they are with all of you right now and always. My prayers are with you. I send white light, love, and peace.
Kari Chase -HemOnc Mom <KariChase@Hotmail.com>
Saint Paul, MN - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 11:06 PM (CDT)

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Wishing you a peaceful night. I am so glad you are all together as a family. We love you very much! Kim


Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, mo - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 10:59 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Thank you for taking the time to update Matthew's web page. Your willingness to take the time to share this experience, the love your family has for one another and your honest expression of faith that is sustaining you are an inspiration to so many. I know that God is holding all of you during this time and that He does not tire. His love and strength shine through your family. May the peace that surpasses understanding be yours.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDS
emmie <mmoxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 10:44 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matthew & Hallemeir family~
Your strength, faith & love are an inspiration. I pray that God will hold you all in the palm of his hand as he guides you through this journey.

Hugs & Prayers~
Shanon Burke <smburke1001@cs.com>
Eustis, FL USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 10:43 PM (CDT)

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The meds can make Matthew hullucinate too. Keep that in mind. My son would not let anyone else take care of him but me. I am so glad to hear both of you can take care of him. Wester got real agitated when the hospice people came around, they made him uncomfortable he was only 3 so he just wasnt used to strangers. Matthew loves you all very, very much and it sounds like hes almost "home". Praying for y'all tonight. Hugs, Christy
Christy <angelnstix@msn.com>
CO - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 10:36 PM (CDT)

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words are not enough, god bless you all, our prayers are with you. Michele, Barry and Tessa.
m lafantaisie <samgd11@attcanada.ca>
- Monday, July 15, 2002 at 09:52 PM (CDT)

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hi debbie, we are glad that you keep updated,you are unreal, wow what a mom,there are no better! and dirk also, you are all the most devoted family i have ever knowed.some day you all will be rewarded.god is good even tho it seems that he dont care. he does!!! he knows what is happing before we were formed.in the womb.i know it is hard to let go.i dont know what is like. i know we love you all. and we will be there for you always !!!! love and prayers in christ name. jesus.!!! Ron Millie Benji.
Ron Revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
Bridgeton , mo U S A - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 09:50 PM (CDT)

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Debby, Everytime I read your journal I admire you for being
such a strong woman, while at the same time I cry for the
heartbreak you are going through. You are blessed to have a
loving family to lean on in this time of sadness.I will continue to
pray for you and your family, and that Matthew finds some
relief from his pain.
Please call me if you need anything.
Sandy Drysdale

sandy drysdale <ddrysdale@hotmail.com>
O'Fallon, mo usa - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 09:49 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Catholics believe that saints can intercede for us to our Lord. We beleive that these saints help us to be closer to the Lord. St Joseph is often prayed to when a family is needing a peaceful death for a loved one. I will pray to St Joseph for Matthew that his going home to the Lord will be peaceful. God Bless your family.
Patty Kay <pkj577@bitwisesystems.com>
Peoria , Il USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 09:49 PM (CDT)

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I constantly pray that the peace of God which passes all understanding reach your hearts. Blessings to you all.
Karen Lammert <klammert@psdr3.org>
Maryland Heights, MO - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 09:36 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, I hope you realize that we all believe that you will update us when you have time. Our prayers are with all of you as you go through this difficult time. May you find peace in the time you have left. God be with you all.
Margie, mom to Karissa, Anna, and B.J., and wife to Kris <gscrazy@juno.com>
Ft. Lewis, WA USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 09:34 PM (CDT)

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Hi there,My name is Linda,and I have a two year old son who also has ALL Leukemia.I want to wish you all the best and my thoughts and prayers are always with you.I ask that if you can please give your son a hug from all of us here in Canada and tell him he has touched the hearts of people from around the world.
And if you are wondering how we have found out about your son it was through our caring loving friend Shannon Burke.
Love and Prayers to all of you Especially Matthew.
And please feel free to email me any time if you need to chat.
Linda <lmmorris51@hotmail.com>
Sydney, Nova Scotia Canada - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 08:44 PM (CDT)

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Your whole family is in my thoughts and prayers every minute of every day. I pray for strength,courage,and God's blessings for you and I pray that Matthew's suffering is minimized as he transitions to his heavenly home. In our family I remember the diagnosis of cancer was the first big "whack" and the second was watching helplessly as your loved ones personality and looks change as a result of the cancer taking over. At that point you pray to God to please release your loved one from the pain and suffering here on Earth....I remember my Mom asking me "when?"-meaning when could she please pass on-she couldn't fight anymore and she was tired. The last smile came across her face when I answered her by saying "God is putting the finishing touches on your heavenly condo on the beach-he's not quite ready for you yet." My heart aches for you and what you are experiencing. God bless you.
Karen <Valenti56@aol.com>
Bloomington, Mn USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 07:57 PM (CDT)

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Julie even though i am far away you and your family are in my prayers every night. the administrative staff at camp also pray for Matthew daily. i know that God will protect you and your family no matter what happens. i want you to know that I love you and am praying for you.

Christian <><
Numbers 6:24
Christian Irwin <cwi_7@hotmail.com>
Murray, KY 42071 - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 07:05 PM (CDT)

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I'm ssooooo sorry to hear the sad news of how Matt is doing. YOUR HOLE FAMILY IS SOOOOOOOOO STRONG AND HAVE GONE THROUGH SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!
It's not fair for such a good family to go through what all of you have had to deal with. I wish there was something I could do to help take away some of the pain and tears. You all have had ALOT of goods times with Matt and will always have such special memories of him. I have never met Matt but I know from the things you have said about him that he is one in million!!!!! Keep the happy memories and the times you have gotten to spend with him in your hearts. Even after he is gone, he will always be in ALL our hearts and in our memories.
As always my thoughts are with you all.

Tina Hodgkins <stlrascals1433@aol.com>
Florissant, mo - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 06:33 PM (CDT)

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I wanted to let you know that I think of you and your family often. Please let me know if there would be anything I could to help you and your family.
Love and prayers,
Tiffany Shemwell
Alpha Gammma Delta
Tiffany Shemwell <tiffany.shemwell@murraystate.edu>
Hazel, KY USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 05:47 PM (CDT)

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God be with all of you, there is no way that I can even imagine what you all are going through. I will continue to pray for you in the hours and days to come.
Sharon James <bjames@ctllc.com>
- Monday, July 15, 2002 at 04:59 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
My son, Logan, died June 19th 2000, from relapsing from ALL after a transplant. He died at St. Judes Hospital, in my arms he took his last breath. It was, and always will be, the most difficult experience of my life, his father's life and his sisters'. Logan was only three, but we managed to pack a lot of good times in those few years. He will always be my little angel. I will pray to him to watch over Matthew. I prayed for every miracle possible up until the very last second of Logan's life. I know you are doing the same. Please know that if you ever need an ear to shout at or cry to, especially sometimes a stranger is not so bad as family, please know I am here. We are all connected in some strange mysterious way because our children share a common bond. There better be the best damn video games, playgrounds, and all the heavenly joys imaginable for our precious babes in heaven!!! Peace be with you and your family and God Speed to Matthew. May all his pain and suffering end. It is a terrible prayer us Mothers have to say, you know which one I am talking about. But sometimes we pray for what is best for our children and not for us. Take care. Mary Lewis, West Palm Beach, Florida
Mary S. Lewis <Kelsha@bellsouth.net>
West Palm Beach, FL USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 04:14 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
Our sincere prayers have been with Matthew and all of your family. Our precious grandson, Danny Klancher fought the fight as well and was such an inspiration to all of us.
May God bless and strengthen each one of you in the days ahead.
Bob and Edith Beckage
Edith Beckage <bbeckage@juno.com>
El Paso, TX USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 03:52 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Matthew is truly an angel here on Earth, his strength is an inspiration to us all.
Jessi Johnson <jessij11@hotmail.com>
Maryland Hts., MO USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 03:25 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie ~
Thank you again for caring so much about all of us, that you continue to keep us informed about Matthew. How precious to read about his big smile today. How difficult it must be to see him in pain. My thoughts and prayers are filled with Matthew and your family. His spirit is strong.
Continuing to send our love and healing thoughts,
Stacey and Family
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 03:21 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt & Family
Just want you to know we think about all of you every day.
We are also praying for you every day.
Love all of you.
Ray & Joan Hallemeier <bhallemeier@aol.com>
St. Charles, Mo - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 02:46 PM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Matthew's determination, his fight and his struggle as well as your family's strength is an inspiration to all. May he rest peacefully.
Steve Sowers (Katie's older brother) <steve.sowers@awwfw.com>
St. Louis, MO US - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 02:30 PM (CDT)

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Your family remains in my thoughts and prayers.
Allyson, Mom to Susie, 5, ALL, dx4/02
Allyson Reiter <allyreiter@aol.com>
Annapolis, MD 21403 - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 02:24 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, you are a strong and courageous young man. May God be with you and your family. You are in our prayers.
The Drysdale Family <ddrysdale@hotmail.com>
OFallon, MO USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 02:06 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, I wish I could make the hurt go away, I wish I could many things. God be with you
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 12:59 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt, everyone misses you and is always wondering how you are doing. You are in my thoughts and prayers.all my love, Ashley Brands
Ashley Brands <PrettyNpink000@cs.com>
maryland heights, MO usa - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 12:48 PM (CDT)

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Goodness Debbie, you are doing an admiral job on Matthew's website and keeping us all updated on his condition. Thank you -- thank you! My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you all. It was a year ago this day that we were experiencing the same thing you are going through right now with my 27 year old brother. I hope Mike is waiting at the gates for Matthew to arrive. I know that he would love to show him around paradise.

Hugs of strength & comfort,
Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 12:16 PM (CDT)

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I am so sorry ,I will keep praying for Matt and the family & friends . Stay strong in your faith ,GOD BLESS
Tammy McCollum <grdnflr@aol.com>
St. Peters, Mo USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 12:10 PM (CDT)

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I have been following Matthew's progress for about 6 weeks. I follow Alex and Matt Pearl and that is where I heard of Matthew. He, too, is brave young man. My prayers are with you and your family.

Shirley Jonas
Shirley Jonas <sjonas@ilsos.net>
Springfield, IL USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 11:54 AM (CDT)

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Thanks for the update. I have been checking the site many times daily because I worry so much about Matthew. I just pray and pray and pray that he is resting comfortably and that he is not suffering. He is my hero !
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 11:39 AM (CDT)

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Hi,

We know how hard it is to write the updates. I am sure that we all say Thank You. Praying for peace and comfort for you all.
Anita Moore <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 11:27 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Matt,
I'm still praying each and every day, many times a day. I guess my prayer is for comfort for all of you. I haven't given up on God's ability for miracles, but I guess He makes that decision. I'm sad, very sad, even though as I've said before, I don't really know you or your family. It amazes me how you can feel so connected by these journals. My heart aches, the tears flow, but then I have to stop and think that if God chooses to take you home, then you will be with Him. The Bible says that is our biggest goal; to be with God in His Kingdom. You are such a true Champion, Matt. I hope that I can live my life as you have taught. God Bless you Matt and all your family. I won't quit praying. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 10:26 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

"The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD." (Lamentations 3:24-26)

We pray: LORD, may You be Matthew's portion. May he hope in You. Do good unto Matthew as he waits for You...as He seeks You. May Matthew both hope and quietly wait for Your salvation. LORD, strengthen Dirk, Debbie, Julie, and Christopher during these difficult hours. Have mercy and compassion upon them. We pray in the name of our resurrected Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 09:16 AM (CDT)

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Hello, Debbie--

I am still coming to your web site both to check on and learn from you and your family (Matthew, of course, but all of you, really).

About how "long" the dying process seems to take...I mean, after your loved one seems to be losing mental clarity and even ability to relate to you. My mom's seemed incredibly long and drawn out at the time, although in retrospect it happened the way it was meant to, and she had 2 full months of being able to say goodbye and only 1 month where the decline was sharp and painful to watch.

Your hospice nurse Debra has probably shared this theory with you, but it comforted me, so I'll offer it in hope it does the same for you: when people look as though they're sleeping (that deep and unrousable sleep), they are actually working very hard inside themselves to make whatever transitions they need to make before they go.

In my mother's case, she seemed to wake and want to talk about something (forgiveness or figuring something out), although we often couldn't understand. In Matthew's case, as you say, there is nothing for him to regret or apologize for--to anyone--but he so much wants to stay with you, and to understand why, that maybe those are the things he's "working on".

I wish you peace and strength for the time when Matthew isn't with you anymore.
Emily Jones <emylye@email.msn.com>
Newtown, CT - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 08:54 AM (CDT)

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I just wanted to you to know that I was praying for all of you, and that I hope Matt can find some peace.
Lisa Lauman <justkatiekat@aol.com>
st. louis , MO - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 08:49 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Julie, Christopher, & Matthew,
May God give you the strength and the peace to weather these days. You are all in our prayers.
The Bennett family from Rolla -- Chuck, Kathy, Jenny, Michael, Christopher, and Caitlin (friends of the Jankes)
Kathy Bennett <kbennett@fidnet.com>
Rolla, MO - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 08:00 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family, you are truly a special family. You are such a beautiful example of the love of God lived out daily in the midst of extraordinary human suffering. Thank you for sharing your story, your faith, your thoughts & emotions. We are all connected in this great big world by the Spirit of the One Who truly loves us. I believe He will "make all things work out for our good" if we are faithful to Him, continuing to love as Jesus taught us to love. Your family is a fine example of that very same love. Thank you for witnessing to the many people in your community and on the internet. You (all of you) have been my inspiration for the past few weeks since I first read your website. May God pour His peace over you today.

Your friend in VA--
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 07:34 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Julie, Christopher, & Matthew,
All of you have been in my thoughts today. I continue to pray that God will heal Matthew or take him to heaven where he will have eternal peace. We send all of our love.
Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach @hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 12:22 AM (CDT)

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You have been in our thoughts all day. You have all fought such a tough battle. We are proud to be part of your family. We hope that Matthew will find peace soon. We love you very much!
Kim, Brian, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 11:21 PM (CDT)

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I'm praying for peace for Matthew and your family. You have a beautiful family.
Linda Deitz (from ALL list) <Deitzjl@peoplepc.com>
Andover, MN - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:55 PM (CDT)

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Matt, You are a true hero! Thank you for showing us all how to love. Give Jake a high five for me.
Shelly <Janiga5@aol.com>
Poratage, In 46368 - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:52 PM (CDT)

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Constant thoughts and love are with you all......such a special family!
MATT, YOU'RE A CHAMP......A HERO! YOUR LIFE AND HOW YOU'VE FOUGHT FOR IT, HAS LEFT SUCH AN IMPACT ON SO MANY PEOPLES LIVES ALL OVER THE WORLD.
IT'S BEEN SUCH AN HONOUR.

Loads of love and cuddles to everyone! May you all find peace soon.
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:43 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,
I just heard of your story through another friend ,also on caringbridge.org...Robert Charlton at St Jude's Hospital. Robert just had his bone marrow transplant on July 10th. You are in my prayers. I pray that Jesus would usher Matthew home soon so he is no longer in any pain. My God lift you up on wings of eagles and surround you with His comforting arms. Looking forward to meeting you one day in Glory when we all will stand before Almighty God, healthy and whole. God be with you in an incredible way.
In Christ,
Christina Schwartz

Christina Schwartz <digitalschwartzes@msn.com>
Boynton Bch, FL USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:38 PM (CDT)

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Thinking of you.
John Masters <thejmasters@hotmail.com>
Maryville, Il USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:27 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Matthew, & Family,
There is not a day goes by that I haven't checked Matt's history. Debbi you are a beautiful woman and I admire you for that. You have a beautiful family and again all we feel that we can do down here in Sidell is keep praying for all of you and I have prayed so hard that Matthew doesn't suffer. Brad & I talked this weekend about Chad again and some bad thoughts that both of us had at times when he was so sick. I just hope & pray that you all can keep the faith as we know you do so well. I do think about you Debbi alot and have wanted to call you at home and at Children's. Just can't seem to find the right words to say to help. I think the grief couselor was and is a good thing for you. Please remember that we love you guys and I will continue to check daily until we leave this week for vacation. I sit here and want to write more Debbi, but I just get so emotional and don't know honestly what to say. We will continue to pray and remember he is on our prayer chain clear down here in Sidell, Illinois and our whole church and sunday school class is praying. We lost our Sunday school teacher today from cancer of the spine. He was only 57 years old. We prayed that God would either heal him or take him today and He did. He has 8 children and the youngest is in the 6th or 7th grade. So that is my prayer for Matthew. I'll be talking to you again soon.

Love-N-Christ,
Chris
Christy McDowell <christymcd@yahoo.com>
Sidell, IL - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:24 PM (CDT)

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Thinking of you all so much and sending so much love and thoughts of peace.
Annie Thomas <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:17 PM (CDT)

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Matt you are in my prayers and I love you.
Lyric Madden <lyric@knology.net>
Panama City Beach , FL - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:01 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family:
My family and I have you in all of our thoughts and prayers. May God Bless You.
Kaci Greer <kaci.greer@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:01 PM (CDT)

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Matthew has been in my thoughts and prayers for quite some time now. I know that he will be going to a better place, free from pain and suffering. It is obvious that love surrounds him now - and that is the most important thing. Know that he and your family will stay in my thoughts and prayers always.
Mike Gilkey <mgilkey13@yahoo.com>
Lexington, KY Fayette - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 09:34 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt,
I've been thinking about you and praying for you every day. I am so sorry you had to go through all this. We had some great fun together, lots of good times. I wish you peace.
Jason Bogle <mbogle@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 09:18 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family,
We read your website with such sorrow that your Matt and our Matt had to face this horrible disease. It robbed them of their loves and their futures. You are so brave and your entries are so touching. We see our Matthew in Heaven waiting to welcome your Matthew. Today is our Matt's birthday. He would have been 13. We are very sad but know that he is finally out of pain and not suffering. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Noelle Conover <nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 09:17 PM (CDT)

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dear matthew,debbie,dirk,christopher,andjulie. this past weekend greg,patrick and i saw the most beautiful sunset over the atlantic ocean.the colors in the sky were bright orange and beautiful reds.i thought about you matthew and when god calls for you, you will be those beautiful colors glowing down on your family. your light will forever shine in our hearts. love greg,sue,greg jr.,and patrick
susan fackler <soccermom121@aol.com>
whitehall, pa u.s.a. - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 08:51 PM (CDT)

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We are continuing to keep you in our daily thoughts and prayers. May God bring you all peace and comfort in the days ahead.
The Millers- Jeff, Kim, Jordan, Lindsay & Kayla <fivemillerz@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO 63044 - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 08:18 PM (CDT)

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Hi I'm checking in again. I'm on pens and needles so I know you all must be even more so. I hope his time is peaceful and painless as possible. Matt has touched so many lives. What a special guy!! Love ya'll
Deedee <deonne10769@msn.com>
bowling green, ky - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 07:43 PM (CDT)

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Me again...I am with you everyday in thoughts and prayers, I have been by to read your posts since I found out. Brings back so many memories of when our dear Wester passed away. Your right it is definently in Gods time. Hang in there, you are all doing a wonderful job even though I know at times it feels like its not enough. Still praying...Christy
Christy <angelnstix@msn.com>
CO USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 07:35 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt and family. Just wanted to say hi, and that I'm thinking about you constantly. Also have been praying really hard for Matthew. I hope his suffering ends very soon.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 07:33 PM (CDT)

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Just thinking of all of you and keeping you in my prayers.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDS
emmie <mmoxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 07:18 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt & Family ` The other day I was mowing the lawn & was Very hot & tired & thought why not take a break & rest inside & cool off a while ~ Then I thought Matthew is such a fighter he would not give up & I wont either ~ I am a better Person for having "Known" Matthew & family ~ I not only finished mowing the Lawn I completly Cleaned & Rearranged furniture & Everything glows in this house cuz I know a young fellow named Matthew. ((((HUGS))))
Love,
Debra James & family

Debra <dabra4789@aol.com>
ks USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 04:59 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk and family,
I'm sending light and love your way. My sister, Kari Chase, directed me to your sight. It is heartbreaking to read the difficult times you are going through. It is hard to understand this world at times. However, it is heartwarming to hear the courage you exhibit which stands out between the lines and words in your writing.

May God bless you and be with you, your family, and especially Matthew very second of your days.

Barbara Frank
Barbara Frank <barbfrank@tds.net>
Danube, MN - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 03:51 PM (CDT)

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I just happened across your site and am so moved by your strength. You are amazing. May God bless you all.
Janell Yount <yount4@earthlink.net>
Mocksville, NC - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 02:40 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and family,

I am praying for God's will for you. Thank you for sharing your strength with us.
Linda Eaker <golfsinger@earthlink.net>
Bridgeton, Mo USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 02:35 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family, My dear Grandpa had a long illness before he left us. I talk to him still, and asked him to meet you when you get to heaven. He was a good, kind, loving person, with a tremendous sense of humor, much like your own. I know in my heart he can hear me, and that he will be watching for you. Have him tell you the "have a look" story. I still laugh when I think of him. His body is gone, but NEVER his spirit. Comfort came by knowing he's still there for me, as is Jesus. Your spirit is so bright, it will be there forever, too.
All my love, Cathy


Cathy Wallace <cmwal4@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 02:33 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, this is a crazy idea, but I have seen it happen several times in my own family when someone just holds on for something special. I am sure that Matt would have liked to be here for Julie and Brad's wedding. Do you think that they could share some of their vows with him so he could be a part of it now?? I know it is a crazy thought, but his being a part of that wondrous event could bring him peace. Just a thot Debbie. My prayers continue to be with all of you. May God continue to bless you and yours.
Chloe Albert <FCA777@aol.com>
Decaturt, IL USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 01:59 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew, May the Lord Bless You and Hold you tightly in his arms. May you be at peace. I have just read your story and you are truly a courageous young man. You have been blessed with a very loving family--hold them dear to your heart. You have touched my heart and I will think and pray for you always.
Cynthia D.Burkett <fourfootniner@buffalo.com>
lockporty, ny usa - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 01:02 PM (CDT)

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Wishing your family
peace and rest.
From,
Your friends in Pittsburgh...
Franci Eberz <feberz@stargate.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 01:02 PM (CDT)

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I am praying all day and thinking of you all often. Thank you again for shareing your thoughts and fears with strangers. We will all see each other someday, I pray Matt will not have to suffer much longer. I pray also that if I ever have to face what you are Debbie , I will be as strong and loving a mother as you have been for Matt.
bjprince
Bonnie Prince <bjprince2@aol.com>
wildwood, mo - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 12:49 PM (CDT)

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We are thinking of you and praying for you. The Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you and give you peace.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger and family <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 12:42 PM (CDT)

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I know the feelings that you are having about wondering why someone is still here...even when you love them SO MUCH! I watched my dad struggle for 8 weeks fighting emphysemia. The moment he took his last breath, there was such a calm that came over his face. I knew right then and there that he was okay and in Gods loving arms. I pray that Matthew will have the loving peace that he so strongly deserves.
Our hearts and prayers are with your entire family.
Anita, Michael, Kailee and Ashlee Bernardo
Anita Bernardo <Maknardo@aol.com>
Granada Hills, CA 91344 - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 12:35 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
You’re one incredible young man, an inspiration to us all for the things you had to endure, a true “Hero”.
Its true Matthew “There is no Greater Love than His”. We live in a world that says “If you Love me, than I’ll Love
You”. But If you don’t love me and say things that hurt me “I will not love you”. Our Father is not like that.

You see Our Father says “Come to me with all your junk, all your baggage. His love is “FREE” and
Unconditional. That he will bury all Our sins to the deepest depths of the ocean. Knowing that He is
Right next to you, holding you, will make your journey into the Heavens a joyous moment.

Those who HOPE in the LORD will renew their STRENGTH they will SOAR on wings like EAGLES.
Isaiah 40:31

I will pray for God to give them the STRENGTH & FAITH they will need. God Bless you all.

Joe Rommel Father of a BMT patient "We Praise You Daily for Your Love" <jrommel@aga-engineering.com>
Sunny South Florida, Home Of The Brave "One Nation Under God" - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:44 AM (CDT)

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It's Sunday morning and my husband and I are getting ready to go to Church. We will pray for all of you. It's good how close this has brought your family together, as well as people all over the country. Millie Revelle continually sends me updates. I pray everyday, that the Lord gives you all the strenght to handle what is going on. God bless all of your family and friends that are close to Matt. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this very hard time in your life.
Ellen Richards(Millie's sister) <ellenrichards@charter.net>
St. Peters, MO USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 10:05 AM (CDT)

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Last night while I was trying to sleep,
My son's voice I did hear.
I opened my eyes and looked around,
but he did not appear.
He said, Mom and Dad,
you've got to listen,
you've got to understand,
God didn't take me from you,
He only took my hand.
When I called out in pain that day,
the moment that I died.
He reached down and took my
hand, and pulled me to His side.
He pulled me up and saved me,
from the misery and pain.
My body was hurt so badly,
I could never be the same.
My search is really over now,
I found happiness within.
All the answers to my empty dreams,
and all that might have been.
I love you all and miss you so
and I'll always be nearby.
My body's gone forever,
but my spirit will never die.
And so you must go on now
and live and understand.
God did not take me from you,
He only took my hand.

I found this poem and sent it to Jean Favour, Jake's mom, and thought maybe it would be some comfort to you. Jean told me about your family and this site. Know that you are in my prayers.

Kathy Heckman (great-aunt to Angel Jake15)

Kathy Heckman <KHeckman50@aol.com>
Portage, IN US - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 09:46 AM (CDT)

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You are surrounded in the love of God, family, friends,and caring strangers. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Jane, mom to K.J., 18, T-cell ALL dx.11/01
Jane Freestone <jwfreestone@us.net>
Silver Spring, MD USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 09:42 AM (CDT)

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Matt, hey BUDDY, just wanted to let you know that I will being going to CHURCH shortly and will be lifting your name up to the LORD in just a little bit... I'm sure that the LORD will reach down and with HIS WISDOM, will make the moment special... I often wondered, with so many people praying for you and always thinking about you what the Lord must think.... I'm sure HE'S thinking, WOW, people sure LOVE you, and Matt, THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO HOW THE LORD LOVES YOU..... MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY........ LOVE YOU IN THE LORD...... ROBERT & TUFFI
ROBERT AND JANE WYLDE <TUFFTOYS@SWBELL.NET>
ARNOLD, MO USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 08:47 AM (CDT)

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Matthew, Debbie and family - It is beautiful that at such a sad time you told us about Julie and Christopher talking, laughing and sitting with Matthew. That sounds so sweet, and it was a privilege for you to share it with us.
Many of us who have followed Matthew's situation since well before the BMT have not actually met you, but we definitely have a special concern for you. Love and hugs,
Gloria McShane, mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com/ www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, UK - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 07:29 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

"Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen." (Luke 24:5b-6a)

Matt, on this first day of the week, we celebrate anew the glorious truth: Christ is risen!

"For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: and though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me." (Job 19:25-27)

Matt, your Redeemer lives! Your eyes shall soon behold Him!

"For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." (1 Corinthians 15:53-57)

Matt, God gives YOU the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ! We give thanks unto Him!

"For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?" (1 John 5:4-5)

Matt, YOU have overcome the world! You believe that Jesus is the Son of God!

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

Matt, you believe in Jesus! You shall not perish! YOU have everlasting life!

We pray: Dear Father, we thank You that Jesus died for our sins. We thank You that Jesus rose again the third day. We know and believe that Jesus, our Redeemer, lives! We thank You for the faith to believe that Jesus is Your Son! We thank You for the victory that You give us through Him. We thank You for the gift of everlasting life. May Your words bring comfort to the heart of Matthew. May Your words bring comfort to the hearts of Dirk, Debbie, Julie, and Christopher. Swallow up Matthew's death in victory. We pray in the name of Jesus, our resurrected Lord and Saviour. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 06:55 AM (CDT)

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Hello Matthew and Family,
I am a friend of the Charlton family. The updates from Kathy led me to your journal writings on Matthew. What a blessing for you, as a mom, to have such a beautiful family, strong and courageous. I can not imagine how hard it must be to say good bye to such a precious boy. So I will pray for you, just as I pray for the Charlton family, that you will find comfort in God's word and peace through His Holy Spirit knowing the separation from Matthew is temporary and the crowns he has earned through this battle will be placed at Jesus' feet. How sweet the reunion will be as you place his hand into the Lord's!
cindee fowler <cindeefowler@hotmail.com>
Davie, FL broward - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 03:04 AM (CDT)

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My name is Jeff Charlton. I am sitting here beside my son who is three days removed from his own BMT and cannot fathom the emotions that must surround your family at this time. Matt, I can only hope and pray that the Lord will give my son(Robert)the courage to fight for his recovery as you have fought for yours. I am trully amazed at the love I can feel surrounding your family by reading your mother's words. For a time I did not want to read the updates, but I have found courage through you in every incredible word. It is important for me to express that you have had such an impact on those right beside you as well as those of us a thousand miles away. Matthew, it is not often that a man can make such a huge difference in the lives of so many at such a young age. I look forward to meeting you someday in the presence of our Father. Keep the Faith.
Jeff Charlton <CKCharlton@aol.com>
West Palm Beach, Fl Palm Beach - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 01:07 AM (CDT)

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I have to say that I am a truely blessed man to know your family in the way that I do. Matthew's courage and the grace displayed by your family has been little short than life changing for my family and I as we see that no matter what he have endured - we are truely fortunate. As we work in an industry chock full of people that claim wonderful works for the Kingdom, I can see even a greater work being done through your family. To see all that has been endured and to see that through it all -- the love of God truely being expressed! I am in awe of it!
You are all consistantly in my heart and my prayers. Oh the crowns in store for you all!
Thank you again for allowing us all to glimps the very heart of Christ through your family!
Jay Madas <jmadas@usisp.com>
Troy, IL USA - Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 12:36 AM (CDT)

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I'm continuing to check the site for updates. It's just so apparent the love for Christ that's in your family and even through this difficult time, it's wonderful to see the testimony that God continues to form through you, all of your lives and your relationships with each other. I know you will cherish it--and I know you will touch many others in the process----you've certainly touched me. As always, my prayers are with you. God bless!
Khalita C Jones <khalita.jones@duke.edu>
Durham, NC - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 11:50 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and family ~
Peace be with you all. The love between Julie, Christopher, and Matthew is so touching and heartwarming. It is comforting to hear how the love within your family is so strong. You are so blessed to have one another. We are praying constantly for strength for you all. We admire you so much!!
Many many hugs of friendship,
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 11:45 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Matthew, Christopher, and Julie,
I have been thinking about all of you all day and checking your website. I hope you have a restful and peaceful night. We are all praying for all of you, especially Mary. All our love, Jeff, Susan and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach @hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 11:34 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk and family,
As I read your journal entries my heart goes out for you, I recently lost my Father and as my husband and I sat by his side those last days our emotions were unbelievable. As devout Catholics, I never really thought I would see day that my husband would question God....but I found him being very upset and asking the big question..."Why"? The answer, because heaven was ready for him...and someday it will be ready for us also. Knowing where my father was going
and the thought of being reunited kept us going. I hope that thought can stick with all of you and we pray that God grants you all courage and strength during this difficult time in your lives. We also pray for peace for Matt and the
rest of the family. God Bless you all.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 11:11 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, what a loving, and wise Mother you are. The answers you are giving Matt right now are straight from God to a wonderful Mothers voice. Matt is blessed to have you and his family . What brave warriors for the Lord you and your family are. Your family is a blessing to so many. thanks for shareing you inter-most feelings and thoughts. I am praying alot for Matt, you and your family. In Him who is waitiing with open arms and longing for all of us to someday be with Him. Amen, a friend who is greatful for being able to get to know such brave Christians, sincerely, BjPrince
Bonnie Prince <bjprince2@aol.com>
wildwood, mo - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 11:03 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Dirk,
I haven't met you guys or talked to you but you sound like wonderful people. I personally don't know how you have the strength to deal with this day in and day out. It is truly amazing. You guys are very courageous and are an inspiration to a lot of people who also have sick children. I can only say I'm truly sorry you have to deal with this and you must be so proud of Matt. I am!
Bo Mathis(father of DOUBLE M)
www.caringbridge.com/fl/champ <saveit24@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, Florida - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 08:16 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matthew. Just dropped in to say hi. I hope you're feeling better today. Thinking about you lots today, as usual. Sending you a big hug !
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 08:04 PM (CDT)

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Like so many, I'm hoping you will find comfort and peace.
Karen M., mom to Clare (ALL-Kids) <ardenpj@earthlink.net>
Cabin John, MD - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 06:56 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
As I was reading your entry last night with tears in my eyes, my 4 year old daughter came into my room and asked why my eyes were crying? I told her because a very special young boy named Matthew was very sick. She asked if he was going to go to heaven where Pepa (her grandfather) is? I told her yes he would be. She then told me "Don't be sad Mommy, now he will be the brightest star and they can talk to him anytime like I do to Pepa." Out of the mouths of babes! Children are remarkable gifts from God. They understand more than we think. I pray that Matthew is comfortable and that his dreams are of the beauty, love and peacefullness in heaven.
Please let him know that we are very proud of him as well and that he has touched the hearts of thousands.
God Bless you all.
Anita Bernardo
Anita Bernardo <Maknardo@aol.com>
Granada Hills, CA USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 06:30 PM (CDT)

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Hello Matt. I am praying and thinking about you all the time.
Love Sam


sam hallemeier <hallemeier5_us@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 06:22 PM (CDT)

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Hello Matt. I am praying and thinking about you all the time.
sam hallemeier <hallemeier5_us@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 06:21 PM (CDT)

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Please let Matthew know that there are many people who are proud of him. Even people he doesn't know. I'm so proud of a young man that has fought such a brave battle for the love of his parents and friends. Matthew, we continue to pray for your comfort and peace. Love, your unknown friends.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 04:12 PM (CDT)

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Thinking of you every day. I KNOW how difficult these days are. I wish for comfort and peace for all of you. you are doing every thing you can. Matthew knows he is loved.
Tameria Olivia's mommy <ecpatton@mindspring.com>
St Louis, - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 02:00 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, I am sorry it took me so long to write in your guestbook, but I am not very good at expressing how I feel. Please know that I have been watching your website and that you have been in my thoughts and prayers each day.
Susan Strauss <scs-23@sbcglobal.net>
Ballwin, MO - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 01:56 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew, Debbie, Dirk, Julie and Christopher,
Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers every moment of each day. I pray that God gives Matthew the continued strength to find his way and for you and us the strength to accept this path. Please call or page me if there is ANYTHING we can do to help Matthew and you. With much love and sadness, Ted
Ted Hendershot <kmhcdhkam@aol.com>
kirkwood, mo usa - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 01:09 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew, I have just arrived in Rolla to become the First United Methodist Church's Senior Pastor. I grew up having your Grandmother Hazel as a neighbor. I knew your mother and aunt Kim when they were knee high to grasshoppers. Your Aunt Kim told me about you and I want you to know that you are not alone nor are your parents and family in this journey that you are on right now. Jesus is holding you in his loving arms and blessing every breath you take. And He only takes the best. You and your family are in my daily prayers as well as our church's. Knowing your Mom and Grandmother Hazel, I know that you are loved and that can only come from God. Until later, May God Bless you every moment of every day with His perfect Peace. Shalom, Steve
Rev. Stephen D. Barth, First United Methodist Church Senior Pastor <stephenbarth@juno.com>
Rolla, MO USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 12:56 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,

I apologise for not posting sooner.
I tried to post in your guestbook before but there are so many entries that my computer simply can't handle it!

I just wanted to say to you Debbie, Dirk, Christopher and Julie how YOUR courage and strength has also inspired us all.

Matthew will know deep down that it is his loving family that helped him demonstrate such a fighting spirit so far.

When I hit the site today I was visitor number THIRTY SIX THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED AND TEN.

Think of the phenomenal number of people all over the world who are praying for you and checking your family's progress every day.

MATTHEW, CARRY ON REACHING OUT TO US.
HelenH (friend to Maximilian and Gloria) <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 12:50 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, Christopher and Julie,

Look at the way you have touched so many of us.

Matthew will know that it is your courage too which has helped him to fight this far and will continue to give him the strength he needs to face what is ahead of him.

There is obviously a great deal of love for your family from all over the world.

Matthew has inspired so many people and this is something he should be unbelievably proud of.

WELL DONE SO FAR MATTHEW, CARRY ON REACHING OUT TO US ALL.
Helen H (friend of Maximilian and Gloria) <geordielass999@hotmail.com>
Newcastle, England, - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 12:35 PM (CDT)

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What a wonderful, loving and courageous family you all are! Millie and Ronnie Revelle have shared your journal with us, and we are praying for all of you. There WILL be "Peace in the Valley" for Matt, God Love him. You are in our hearts and prayers. Hold tight to that wonderful faith you have.
Cherie and Fred Hodgkins <confettich@aol.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 11:38 AM (CDT)

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I have been through the same kind of thing 3 times with my dad, brother and mother-in-law, my heart is there with you as well as my prayers. i have often wondered why God chooses some and not others but i guess some day we will all know. please know i am praying for you and just hope that God will reward you well.
Craig De Forge <craigd4g@hotmail.com>
Clinton, NC 28328 - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 10:15 AM (CDT)

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Dirk and Debbie, I was reading in Ravi Zacharias' new book this morning and came across this passage. From John 11:25 -" I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies." Then the author writes: "God's miracle is not to be there to keep us from dying. It is to take us through death into His eternal presence, which is the place of ultimate communion." Before the beginning of time, that's was God's intention toward Matt and this is what He will do. We give Him all our thanksgiving and praise. And God will do the same for the two of you and all who believe. And we give Him all our thanksgiving and praise. Always thinking about Matt and your family.
George and Sherri Spicer


george spicer <gspicer@hargary.com>
bluffton, sc usa - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 10:04 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and Family~

No one has the answers to your very difficult questions, but I have an idea that Matt will have them when he gets Home. He sounds like such a great young man, so full of wisdom and humor, I'm sure that he will give you the signs from Heaven that all is well.

My continued thoughts and prayers for peace and comfort are with your family.
Teri Xavier <tex612@aol.com>
Nashville, TN - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 09:50 AM (CDT)

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Hi...I am the sister of Lou Ann Wicker and she has shared your web site with me. I have been following your entries recently and I want you to know that your family is in my prayers. As a fellow Christian, I am so happy that you know the peace of Christ, even when those hard questions seem to have no easy answers. God be with you!
Bonnie Matzat <matzatb@hotmail.com>
Cape Girardeau, MO USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 09:24 AM (CDT)

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I am heartbroken to hear what you are going through. I can only imagine how horribly tough this must be. Please know that you are in my heart and prayers. May God's love surround you and may He hold you in his arms to comfort you and give you strength. Many hugs,
Heather, Mommy to Brianna (All-Kids)
www.caringbridge.com/ny/mylittlesunshine <Queen1472@aol.com>
Syracuse, NY USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 09:22 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,

Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:

Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.

(1 Peter 1:3-9)

We pray: Dear Father, may Your words bring comfort to Matthew during his final hours. May Your words bring comfort to Dirk, Debbie, Julie, and Chris. We thank You that at this time of death Matt has been begotten again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for him, who is kept by Your power through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. Help Matt to endure the trial of his faith. May it be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ. Fill Matt with joy unspeakable and full of glory. May He receive the end of his faith, even the salvation of his soul. In the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 08:16 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Matthew, Debbie, Dirk, Christopher and Julie - God be with you to take the sweetest care of Matthew as he so cruelly nears the end. You are such a loving and stalwart family. There may be a why, but I confess that I cannot understand it.
Gloria McShane, Canadian in UK, mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet. com/ www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
Richmond, North Yorks, UK - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 08:09 AM (CDT)

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My Thoughts and Prayers are with all of you as a Family, you are Facing one of the most Difficult Challenege's in Life. Remember the Rainbow's, The Sunshine and Yes the Raindrops .... May Peace and Strength follow your every Footstep ....
"Our Father Who are In Heaven ....
Joanne R. Mitchell <jmitch28@tampabay.rr.com>
Tampa, Fl USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 07:45 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family, I continue to think of you and pray for your whole family. I pray that you will find the peace that passes all understanding in the days ahead. I understand all too well how hard it hurts to have a child ask "Why, me?" Holding you close in prayer and sending out thoughts for comfort.
Margie, mom to Karissa, Anna, William, and wife to Kris <gscrazy@juno.com>
Ft. Lewis, Wa USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 01:20 AM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeir Family, My Heart goes out to all of you along with my prays. I do know what you are going through a little my daughter is 18 she will be 19 Sept 19th, She was told she has Lupus two years ago. Being so young with this she was told she might have a very short life span. It has been very hard so i do know what you all are going through. She had a baby boy last year he will be one July 27th. She barely made it through the pregnancy. I just want to let you all know there are other who care and pray. Ravyn
Ravyn <TMLAQueenA@yahoo.com>
Auburndale, FL USA - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 12:25 AM (CDT)

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Many siblings in this situation would run for the hills - Julie and Christopher are amazing young adults..
I know you know this, but tell them a stranger from MD has noticed they are, too! Prayers for Matthew and all of you. Kathy, Mom to Stephanie - Dx 10/31/00
Kathy Mehl <lkm5@erols.com>
Davidsonville, MD USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 11:47 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and family,
My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you all!

Patti <justpeachy100@hotmail.com>
Kingston, Ontario Canada - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 11:39 PM (CDT)

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My name is Heidi Rood. I'm a friend of Kim and Brian's. I lost my mother to colon cancer in 1994, so I know how difficult all of this is. My father-in-law lived with leukemia much longer than anyone thought. He contracted it from radiation in Nagasaki. He died one month after my mother. I have a nephew who is 16 years old. When I look at him, or think of him, I think of Matthew. My heart is with you.
Heidi Rood <htnar1@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 11:25 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeir Family,
Our continued prayers go out to your whole family. Why? is always on my mind too. Only God knows. I guess we should leave it at that, but it is painful. It just seems that if we have a reason, we can tell ourselves we understand it better. Listen to Matthew he will help us understand. Our family is proud of him too!
And you Deb, you're a great mom.
Judy Grumish <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il United States - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 11:15 PM (CDT)

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Matthew & Family, I continue to pray for peace for Matthew and comfort for his family. I know that God will watch over you and give you strength during this time. Matthew has brought so much to so many, even those who do not know him and that is so special. It is a privilege to read about your sweet Matthew. Take Care & God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
AL - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 11:12 PM (CDT)

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dear Hallemeier family,we have been where you are... our daughter died of brain cancer 1 1/2 years ago...we were so amazed at the power of love and GOD in these final days and hours...I know you are feeling the beauty of God's love in these trying times...losing your precious Matthew...but we know
god will take great care of Matt and you...he will give you all the strength and courage to deal with his plan...just drink in Matt's love and God's strength... our prayers are with your entire family! May God either end Matt's suffering or cure him to return to life before cancer...but please do not make him suffer unmercifully.
Love and prayers,
Sheila Ricken
sheila ricken <sheila@ricken.org>
- Friday, July 12, 2002 at 10:57 PM (CDT)

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I know heaven will be an even more beautiful place with you there, Matthew. I think of you and your family all the time. Debbie, thank you for sharing with us. Our prayers our with you.
Kathy-Robert Charlton's Mom-ALL/BMT 7-10-02 Day +2 <ckcharlton@aol.com...www.caringbridge.com/fl/robertmitchel>
WPB/Memphis, FL/TN USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 10:57 PM (CDT)

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Just wanted to send a little note to let you know that we're thinking of you, Matthew. You are such a wonderful young man and your Mom, Dad, and family love you so much. My prayers, as always, are with you all.
God bless,

Anne ~ mom to Erin dx ALL <ob828@aol.com>
- Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:58 PM (CDT)

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Our family's prayers are with you and your family. You have such a beautiful family. I know these times are hard and we all wonder WHY? I guess that is a question that will never be answered until we meet God... I for one am Proud of your son for fighting as hard as he is and I have all the love in the world for your family bbeing by his side and showing your love for each other as well as for your son.
Please accept our prayers and may God Bless you all!!
Tammy <pavom15@aol.com>
Niles, OH Usa - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:32 PM (CDT)

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Hey,

I know these hours are very very hard on the family. The peace you write with is so reassuring that the presence of God is with you. The question of WHY is with all of us. There is blessings to receive from everything. We are all getting blessings from Matthew. He is so strong and a wonderful young man. The strength he continues to show and the love of life still there with his jokes. Matthew and family has touched so many lives. Remember to continue to fully rely on God.

www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore

Anita Moore <anitamo@charter.net>
- Friday, July 12, 2002 at 08:47 PM (CDT)

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Debbie ~
I don't think the reason Matthew asks you if you are proud of him is because he doubts you. I think he just loves to hear the words of love and pride spoken through your lips and Dirk's as well. It must comfort him dearly to hear your words of praise and love. You are truly blessed to have such a close and loving family. I am still humbled by Matthew's quiet strength and maturity beyond his years. I won't stop praying for your family. You're in my thoughts constantly.
Love always~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 08:36 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I am so glad that pastor Arle is with you. He is such a God send. He was also with us when my mom completed her purpose on this earth, and entered eternal life. I believe he is one of the tools (I like to think angel)that God has chosen to assure you of His love and His promise that he will never leave you. When you sit with Matthew during those quite hours and you begin to ask that question WHY? Know that God is holding you in his loving arms and letting you know that Matthewis special and his job on this earth is finished. You all will be together again. Matthew is the Blessed one to be joining our Father in heaven. You are all in our hearts and prayers.

Sherry & Keli Lewis <SLLambchop@msn.com>
St. Peters, MO USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 08:17 PM (CDT)

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hi debbie we are so thankfull that matt is abale to talk to you he is so brave, he has been a witness to so many people,god has a place waiting for him and only he knows when he is going home to peace and everlasting life.there will be no pain there.ever !!!!!!!!!!!!! i have 3 brothers up there and 1 sister.just like billy graham once said . i have preached over 40 years and you know i have reached 10s of thousands of people but if i hade only had one person saved, it would all be worth it.matt has touched so many lives,his reward will be great in heaven. we love you all. allways. Ron Millie Benji
Ron Revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
Bridgeton, mo U S A - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 08:03 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I pray for you family daily, It is so unfair that you are haveing to watch your child go thru this and it is even more unfair that your sweet boy has to go thru this. I also believe that he will be in a much better place, But what about the rest of your family? I pray that you can find the peace that you will need to get you past the days ahead. I look forward to the day that Cancer is a thing of the past. I believe that it will happen, I watched my daughter fight leukemia and go thru the ordeal of a bmt and I know what your family has gone thru and it seems so wrong that you had to go thru all of that to have to deal with this. Please take comfort in your faith and I will continue to pray for you all.
Debby <Djfrro@aol.com>
- Friday, July 12, 2002 at 08:00 PM (CDT)

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Debbie
I wish I knew WHY I really do.
It breaks my heart to read your posts and I sit here crying knowing these are not just words like in a book, this is someone's life, how do you go through this when its your child....
I am amazed at your faith, I wish I were at that point. I succumb to the anger, which is a very easy thing to do. I just dont see how you all cope, especially Matthew. God I hope if as you say, the time is coming near, I hope to God its not, but if its is I pray it is peaceful and calm and he has no fear or pain. Matthew deserves at least that.

Chris
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Friday, July 12, 2002 at 07:19 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, Debbie, Dirk, Julie and Christopher,
Our thoughts and prayers continue for all of you. You are all amazing!
Pat, Tim, Tracy and Andy
Pat Finnell <Blasier@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 06:52 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk, Christopher and Julie ~
You are in our thoughts and prayers as you watch your son and your brother pass from this life onto the next. I am sorry that this is happening to all of you. I am thankful that Pastor Arle is there with you. I pray that you are comforted by your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who died and rose again for each of you, as well as Matt. I pray that He continue to give you all strength and that you are reminded of the Hope that we have in and through Him. We know that Matt is heading home. I pray that in this difficult time, you are able to find comfort in that. God is always faithful, even in the "valley" times of life.
Julie and Chris Bushre <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 06:47 PM (CDT)

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Thanks for the update today. Matt has affected me so much that I honestly check the website a hundred times a day for updates ! Matthew means that much to me. And I've never even met him ! I'm happy to hear that he is peaceful when he sleeps. I continue to pray that he will find comfort and peace and for the strength of his family. Thinking 'bout you constantly Matt. Love Shannon
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 06:28 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,
We are so sorry about all of your pain and suffering.It breaks my heart that you all have had to endure all of this. Matthew, you are such a fighter and I admire your strength. We will continue to pray for everyone and may Jesus give you his special peace. Love, Jeff, Susan and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO 63303 - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 06:22 PM (CDT)

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Matt & Family,
You are all in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for being a friend to Jason. We will always remember your big smile and wonderful sense of humor! You have touched many. God bless you all.
Jerry, Pam, Jonathon, Jason, Megan & JJ <mbogle@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 05:51 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and family - Thinking about you tons today. Sending a big hug your way. Hope you're feeling alright today Matt.

Lots of love, Shannon
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 04:31 PM (CDT)

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Tip-toed in for a visit. Wish I could give you all a hug. Really, I wish I could give you a cure. I pray for a few more peaceful moments for your family together.

Life changes so quickly. A few months ago, we were so happy that he was 100% donor.

Debbie, I know it doesn't really help, but know that there are so many people all over praying and holding your family close in our hearts and thoughts even though we have never met. Thank you for sharing such a couragous young man with us.
Colleen <BrandonMom@Yahoo.com>
Herndon, VA USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 03:36 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallimeier family,
I am one of Julie's sorority sisters and I am deeply sorry for what is happening. I pray for Matthew and your whole family. Again, I am truly sorry and God Bless You.
Amy Rogers <amykat01@hotmail.com>
Murray, KY - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 03:17 PM (CDT)

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All I can say is that you are a great family. Something good always comes out of something bad so keep looking for the bright side!
Angi <cielo_aperto@hotmail.com>
NY USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 02:50 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier family
May God Bless and keep you during this difficult time.I know GOD will continue to give you all the strenght that you will need to continue with your life.

Carol Messick <Carolsm@swbell.net>
Kansas City, Kansas - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 01:55 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,
I've never met you, but I feel like I know you through your heartfelt journal updates. I pray God would hold you close to his side as you walk moment by moment. It's not an easy road you're walking, but someday when you look back and see one set of footprints, remember that it's because God is carrying you!! He will never leave, no matter what!!!
Elizabeth Miller <skijumpmsu@attbi.com>
Buffalo Grove, IL USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 01:39 PM (CDT)

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Matthew:
Words cannot express the grief I hold in my heart for you. Your strength and courage inspire me. You are a special young man, and God will watch over you. I pray for miracles in every thought I have for you.
William Moise <moisew@bellsouth.net>
Stone Mountain, GA USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 12:25 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Words can't express how I feel for you, Dirk, Julie, Christopher, and especially Matthew. When I think of Matthew, I always remeber Julie always wanting to bring a treat or a sample craft home to him from Girl Scout meetings.
The courage and positive attitude that your family has modeled is an inspiration to me and those that read your updates. My prayers are with all of you. Love, Karen
Karen Francis <espr5 @rockwood.k12.mo.us>
- Friday, July 12, 2002 at 12:18 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew,

My thoughts and prayers are with you throughout this hard time. My name is Whitney Arnold, and I am a senior at Murray State. I was in Miss MSU with your sister in 2001; she and I stood side by side. I know you have a special family simply through meeting her. I was brought to this page by one of her sorority sisters. I know that you are truly a wonderful individual with unbelievable strength and perseverance. It is my prayer that God puts His arms around you daily and envelopes you with His love through others. May God bless you and your family!
Whitney Arnold <whitney.arnold@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY U.S.A. - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 11:43 AM (CDT)

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All I can say is, what a brave and wonderfull family you are.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time.
Mathew, I have been amazed at the courage you have shown, and praise you for it.
God bless you all.
Chris <Chriswatton211@hotmail.com>
Pontypridd, Wales, UK - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 11:39 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Job had just learned that he had lost almost everything he possessed, including his seven sons and three daughters. Listen to how he responds to the tragic news:

"Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, and said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:20-21)

Matt, the LORD has given. The LORD has taken away. With faithful Job we say: "Blessed be the name of the LORD."

"Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name." (Psalm 103:1)

We pray: LORD, even at this time of death, we bless You. We worship You. You are worthy. Comfort Matt in his last hours. May he soon join the heavenly chorus singing praises to Your name. Amen.

"Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing. And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever." (Revelation 5:12-13)

Praying for you and your family, Matt. Bless the LORD.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 10:58 AM (CDT)

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Matt has been on my heart since my sister sent me his website. I've been singing this song in my mind about him. I know you have probably heard it, but wanted to send it to you again - In God's Love - Sue

He’s My Son
Words and Music by Mark Schultz

I'm down on my knees again tonight,
I'm hoppin' this prayer will turn out right.
See, there is a boy that needs Your help.
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired,
I'm sure You can understand.
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand,
And she tries
Not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes.

Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place some how.
See, he's not just anyone, he's my son.

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep,
I dream of the boy he'd like to be.
I try to be strong and see him through,
But God, who he needs right now is You.
Let him grow old,
Live life without this fear.
What would I be
Living without him here?
He's so tired,
And he's scared
Let him know that You're there.

Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place some how.
See, he's not just anyone, he's my son.

Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow.
See, he's not just anyone.

Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him,
He's my son.


Suzan Wild <suzan.a.wild@monsanto.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 10:51 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew, we are all so proud of you for fighting so hard. We wish you peace.
God bless
Vicki, Duncan (ALL-Kids, 3 1/2), Collin, & Mike Neus <texneus@yahoo.com>
Copper Canyon, TX - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 10:47 AM (CDT)

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Mathew... My prayers are with you. God Bless.
Dianne <dshappyagain@hotmail.com>
Ft Myers, Fl USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 10:24 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family,

You are in my thoughts and prayers. My the Lord watch and keep over you in the coming days. I am a friend of Julie's from MSU.
Grace Page <graceepage@hotmail.com>
Murray, KY USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 10:24 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and family,

I have been following your journey for quite some time now. I am amazed at the strength and faith shown by you and your family. Our prayers are always with you.
Jiten Shah father to Raj (pre-B ALL) from the ALL-Kids list <jitenshah@yahoo.com>
South Brunswick, NJ USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:56 AM (CDT)

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God Bless you and your family Matthew. You are a couragous young man and know that a lot of people are praying for you. May you find comfort and peace in the days ahead.

Monica G <mrsgerz@aol.com>
North Aurora, IL - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:52 AM (CDT)

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The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want....... Matthew hearts are open all over the world with love for you and your family. We are all so proud to know you and take refuge in the strength you give us. God Bless you and your entire family, God bless each of us who take the time to read your Mom's updates and pray daily for you. God bless us all with love for the Hallemier family each and every day.
Debbie <dppo3@aol.com>
MD - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:45 AM (CDT)

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You are in our CONSTANT thoughts and prayers!! Thank you for the updates. Matthew is a courageous young man!!
LouAnn and Tom Wicker <louannwick@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:34 AM (CDT)

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Thinking of you, and sending angel love to all...God bless...
Nina <ninaangel51@hotmail.com>
New Zealand, - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:32 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family-

I continue to pray for peace and comfort-I am in awe of your strength and faith.

Debbie Rolli <debrolli@hotmail.com>
Coventry, CT USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:20 AM (CDT)

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May God watch over you and your family! We all have our trying times. Keep the faith, and God will take care of you all!
Rob Robinson <robert.robinson@insightbb.com>
Florence, KY USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:19 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Matt, Chris, Julie:
Our heart, thoughts & prayers are with you. May God continue to be with you, strengthen you & comfort you. Love, Bill & Phyllis Criss
Phyllis Criss <wlpjcriss@worldnet.att.net>
St Charles, Mo USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:18 AM (CDT)

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Our thoughts are with you and your family
Frank <pilsner@lineone.net>
Scotland, UK - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:17 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and Family,

I am sorry that your are having to endure these dark days. As a mother I sob when I read the journal entries, and think you are such a strong, loving family. I wish there was more I could do, but I pray daily for you. May God surround you with His Angels and fill you with His peace. ^i^
Elizabeth Percey and Family <esperfect@earthlink.net>
Bennington, VT USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 08:57 AM (CDT)

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God bless! God bless! God bless!
God bless! God bless! God bless!
God bless! God bless! God bless!
God bless! God bless! God bless!
God bless! God bless! God bless!

Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 08:55 AM (CDT)

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We have been thinking of you often and checking the site several times during the day to check on Matthew. I'm sure these days are the hardest you've ever had to endure. You have all been through so much. You all are in our thoughts and our prayers.


Chris Meier <gavinmeier@cs.com>
Ballwin, MO USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 08:21 AM (CDT)

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Thinking of you and praying for you. Your family is truly an inspiration to all of us.
Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 08:03 AM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier family,
We're thinking of you always and continue to pray for you all. I am in awe of Matt's ability to keep his sense of humor, it's wonderful that you can share a laugh during this difficult time. What a blessing he is!
Lots of love!
Michelle and Uncle Chris
Michelle Mathews <mmathews74@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 07:55 AM (CDT)

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What a character. Even in a crisis he makes you laugh. God has given your family a precious gift of life! Matthew has touched the world over in so many ways. He's our little buddy. Love ya!!
Deedee <deonne10769@msn.com>
bowling green, ky - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 07:44 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and family, I am in tears every time I read your journal updates and quite often I find myself chuckling through those tears due to your wonderful sense of humor or shaking my head in wonder at your strength or feeling grateful that you are blessed with faith and many loving friends and family.....I feel privileged to "know" you because through you and your example, I am sharing in what I think God has in mind about living. Thank you for sharing your lives so honestly. You remain in my thoughts, heart and prayers.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDS
emmie <mmoxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 07:39 AM (CDT)

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Matthew, i'm praying for you. I know God's hands are wide open for you to run to. I hope you can find joy and peace. love always, casey jenkins
casey jenkins <casey.jenkins@murraystate.edu>
clarksville, tn - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 07:20 AM (CDT)

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My prayers are with you for a miracle....
Joanne <mom2tydakasc@hotmail.com>
Lake of the woods, ON Canada - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 07:11 AM (CDT)

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hi matt your a brave man you will have great treasures in heaven, we love you. thanks for being our friend ,ron millie benji.
ron revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo usa - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 06:00 AM (CDT)

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Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Matthew is so brave & so inspirationanl - his courage is amazing! He has touched so many lives, including mine & we will continue to pray for him and for your family.

Maren - CJ's Mom
Maren Trammell <mar6732@aol.com>
Frederick, MD USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 05:50 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and family ~
I'm glad you had another precious day with Matthew and especially that he made you (and me) smile. He continues to amaze us with his courage and spirit (a lot like his mom!) Thank you for taking the time to keep us all updated. It truly means so much to so many. My thoughts and prayers continue constantly for your family.
Sending love ~
Stacey Wada
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 03:38 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie
Your latest update made me cry and laugh at the same time! I love Matthew's sense of humour! What a treasure he is! I can't tell you how much mental strength you give out to all of us. THANK YOU!
Our hearts, thoughts and prayers continue to be with you all.
MATT, YOU'RE A CHAMP! May God grant you peace & comfort soon.
Lots of love & cuddles,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO

the Cruickshank family <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 01:13 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I'm sure you have heard about me on the ALL-KIDS site. My name is Jennifer King. I am Tyler's mom. I have followed Matthew's story from the beginnig of his BMT. I go to Matthew's page everyday and I continually keep you and your family in my prayers. I cried today when I read your Wednesday update and I'm not even family. I can only imagine the pain that your family is going through right now. You continue to amaze me with your strength and I am just in awe of the strength that Matthew possesses. You are a very special family and you and Matthew have touched my life. I will continue to pray for your family as you go through this devasting time. I know Matthew has touched many lives. Mine is just one of many but please know that I am truely greatful to have had the honour of sharing your precious son's life even it is at a distance and in a small way. Matthew has and will always be a blessing to many.

God Bless,
Jennifer King, mommy to Tyler-3(will be 4 on July 31)
(dx. early pre-B ALL 2-12-02 POG 9605)ALL-KIDS member
Jennifer King <thekings@kindwords.com>
Blanchard, OK USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:51 PM (CDT)

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matt & family--you don't know me, but i have been following your story...and praying for you over these last months. your courage shines through with the light of Christ Jesus. Matt, don't be sorry---you have pressed on toward the goal to win the prize for which God called you heavenward in Christ Jesus---a goal that we all hope someday to attain. thank you for finishing the race Jesus had for you to run. you deserve eternal rest and we'll meet you there as soon as we've followed in Christ's footsteps as you have. I will be praying for your family--you need only prayers for a smooth transition from life temporary to life eternal. God bless!
Khalita C Jones (dx SAA Nov. '80- followed by Duke Pediatric BMT team) <khalita.jones@duke.edu>
Durham, NC - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:36 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,

May the road rise to met you, may the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again may God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Your family is in our prayers.

Andy, Mary and Annamarie Beck <abeck26@excite.com>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:14 PM (CDT)

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im so sorry,i read your web page everyday and pray that mathew will have peaceful journey. i think of you and your family often and wish this never had to happen to kids
god bless you.
denise <denise107@aol.com>
- Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:07 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt - I wish more than anything that I could meet you. You have inspired me so much, I cant even tell you in English ! I just hope you realize how important you are to so many people that you don't even know, me being one of them. Thanks for being so great Matthew. Hope you find peace very soon.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:07 PM (CDT)

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I woke up this morning at 5AM thinking about you all and wondering how the night went.I've found myself praying for you over and over. You all are such a special family--I wish I could do more.God recognizes this and he is holding you very close right now.Matthew is in good hands.He has his beautiful family all around him and Jesus as his guide.May you find peace in these moments with him. God bless you!Lisa
Lisa Salem <stevesalem @charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:02 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,God is so real, I dont know why my grandson richard is still with us, but God saw fit to leave him a little longer, I guess God needs special warriors in Heaven and he has chosen you, Heaven is aplace far beyond our imagination, and the human part of us can never comprehend. I still believe in miricles cause i saw it with Richard, who is such a brave fighter. I feel as though you are our family and I want you to know that i feel your pain and tyhat i am going to pray night and day for you. God is still a healer, and i wont ever stop believing in miracles. please know that you are in our hearts here in Texas.May God give you peace and rest and faith to believe in those miracles . Either way we are winners, staying here or going to be with our heavenly Father. Heaven is waiting for all of us who know the Lord, and sooner or later we will all go to be with him. I am still believing in a miracle for you. God bless you and yours,

sincerely
genevive, richards grandma
genevive holderby <gjholderby@aol.com>
san antonio, - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 10:46 PM (CDT)

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"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day - and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearing."
2 Timothy 4:7-8

Matt - As I read some of the "Confirmation Memories" in some earlier entries, I couldn't help but remember a couple of my own... first, you will always be part of my very first confirmation class in my minsitry... not only at Our Savior, but in my entire ministry. A class that I spent only a little time with, but a class that I could never forget. I, too, remember you and Keli laughing a lot that day. And, was wondering if you remember this... You and Keli were by me for communion that day, and do you remember when Pastor Lampella spilled the wine down my shirt! We all started laughing and couldn't stop!! Ahh.. the memories:) You will be fondly remembered Matt. You are so strong. You are an amazing, faithful servant. We are all so proud of you.
You are in our thoughts and prayers as you prepare to go home. The Lord has promised good to you and his promises are certain and his love unfailing. He will come for you to take you home. You will see his nail scarred hands as he reaches out and says "well done my good and faithful servant". He came to earth 2000 years ago to save you on the cross, and he will now come to claim you, to take you home. We love you Matt. You will be dearly missed.

Love -
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran Church <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 10:33 PM (CDT)

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Matthew & Family,

I heard about your family from Sarah Anne Hicks family. I just wanted you to know that you are in my prayers. God truly is the great provider and I know He will see you through all things. I pray for Matthew that the pain will become easier. May God bless and keep you during this difficult time.
Love in Christ,
Hank and Patsy Winks
Hank & Patsy Winks <patsy@venturenet.net>
Hueytown, AL USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 10:26 PM (CDT)

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I am praying for Matt's comfort and that God will continue to help him with the pain. I can not begin to imagine what he is going through, or you, his family.
I got the information about Matt from the Pearl children who have Fanconi Anemia.....
YOu said in your post today that Matt hates taking his meds. and that the morphine makes him not breathe very well. I wanted you to know you might want to tell the Doctors because I have the same problem and it is a reaction to the morphine. I can not breathe when they give it to me, it is like I am smothering and can not get enough air. I always know when a Dr. has given it to me and I am 56 years old and have only had a few surgery's but I know when I wake up from surgery and they have ordered that drug for me. I think it is rare but I wanted you to know that there is probaly a reason for Matt. not being able to breathe when he takes the morphine. Hope this information helps. Praying for all of you daily, A friend in our Lord God's family. Bonnie P.
BOnnie Prince <bjjprince2@aol.com>
wildwood, mo - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:57 PM (CDT)

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Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. If you ever need anything feel free to call. God bless your family during this time. Loyally in AGD.
Casey Williams <caseywilliams02@hotmail.com>
Nicholasville, KY US - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:20 PM (CDT)

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Sending so much love to all of you... wishing you continued strength and peace in the days ahead.

Annie Thomas <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:10 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt, Debbie & Family:
You have all taught me so much about strength and love and belief in our faith. I thought that I had become a much stronger person in my own fight against cancer, but I am no comparison to what you all have been through. By reading the journals everyday about you Matt, you have taught me so much, and I am forever greatful. Your strength is beyond compare and you will truly be a treasure in Heaven and to all of us on Earth. Be at peace Matt and know that you are loved beyond what you can even imagine. I will continue to pray for you and your family, always. :)
Gina Peters <gpeters@mail.stcharles.k12.mo.us>
St. Charles, MO St. Charles - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:01 PM (CDT)

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I think I've checked the website about 100 times today for an update. Matt you're always in my thoughts ! Hope you're feeling alright.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 07:14 PM (CDT)

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Whew.....you're journal entries hit so close to home and really close to my heart. This one was really hard on me and the last paragraph had me in tears. Matthew is and has always been such a fighter. I know how hard it is to see a loved one struggling, when you know there's nothing more you can do....nothing that will make it go away....nothing that will make him feel better. Although we try to surround them with as much love as possible and will do anything to make them more comfortable. Debbie, my heart and prayers go out to you and your family even more so right now. These are such tough times. When you think you can't go on...you will. Matthew's love will keep you forging on. You have been very strong for him and have given him such love and support. You are a terrific role model for those parents who are fighting their battles with their children. We thank you for what you given to all of us.
Vicki Hoffman, sis to ^i^ Mike Hunter ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 05:51 PM (CDT)

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The Francis family is all praying for you to find peace and comfort. None of you are ever far from my heart and mind. God bless you all.
Rebecca Francis <rebeccafrancis@yahoo.com>
Bridgeton, MO United States - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 05:30 PM (CDT)

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Matthew & Family, you all are in my thoughts and prayers throughout each day. I pray that Matthew is able to be comfortable. Matthew is so sweet... My heart hurts for you... God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
AL - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 05:10 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for Matthew. Matthew, just looking at the hundreds of entries in this book, words cannot express how you have changed the lives of so many people with your courage, strength, love and attitude. You are an inspiration to me and will forever be an inspiration to all who know you. I will continue to pray for you and you will be in my heart.

Katie <katiesowers@yahoo.com>
St. Louis, MO - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 04:52 PM (CDT)

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To the hallemeier family,
I just want you all to know that I am thinking about you all the time and keeping you all in my prayers. My whole family is praying for you. If you need anything at all please feel free to call us we will be there as fast as we can. Don't give up there is always a chance for god to provide some kind of special miracle. Matthew is a very special child and comes from a very special and loving family. I'll hope for the best.
Amy Kindle <amylittle22@go.com>
Centralia, Il USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 03:40 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
I have been away from my computer for a few days, and was so anxious as I came to check on you today. I was praying for you day and night even though I wasn't able to check on you. I pray that the pain will be controllable. It broke my heart when I read that you told your mom you were sorry, and that you had really tried. I guess as a mom myself, I could only picture my son saying the same thing to me. I know that I don't know you Matt, but I wish I could explain how much you mean to me. Like I have said many times before, I wish I would have had the honor of meeting you, and that is exactly what it would have been -- an honor! You are one terrific kid and I know that God must have some very important plans for you. Please hang on to God's promise that he will never leave us or forsake us. I have to believe that He is right beside you, holding your hand. I pray for strength for your whole family -- and what a wonderful family you have. Each one special in their own way. Please don't be scared -- I don't want to think of you scared. God will be with you every moment of every day. I love you Matt and I will continue to storm the heavens with requests for comfort and peace. You are a true fighter, who could ask for anything more. I can tell from your mom's entries, just how proud they all are of you. You've done well!!! You have touched so many lives, it is really unbelievable!! I will be back to check on you later today. Be strong and just believe!! With love and many hugs,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 03:12 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Hearts are breaking all over the world as we read your journal entries. Your names are on the lips of thousands of people as we lift your entire family up to the Lord. People who don't know you are crying tears of sorrow for what you are going through. Everyday I mention all of you by name in my prayers, Praying for comfort, praying for peace and praying for understanding. Matthew, so many people love you, people you have never even meet. May you find comfort and may you find peace and for all who have been thouched by you, may we also find peace.
Debbie <dppo3@aol.com>
MD - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 02:40 PM (CDT)

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God Bless you and your family
Chris Hodgkins <StLBluesFan13@aol.com>
Florissant, MO U.S.A. - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:56 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt & Family,
My sister (Sherry Lewis) has kept me abreast of your health problem since the day of your confirmation. I was there that day to witness and celebrate with my niece Keli. I was so moved by the service that Pastor Arlie gave I too was in tears. And I have been praying for you all ever since, and I will continue to do so for a long time. After reading some of the journal pages here on your web site, I realize there are no words in this language that could ever describe what you all have been thru. So to say I'm sorry, or I know how it is, seams pretty worthless to me. The end of Aug. my family had to go thru something I would never wish on my worst enemy...my 21 year old son had to have open heart surgery to have his aortic valve replaced. Of corse we were all worried, scared, etc. But he came thru the surgery...by the grace of God...and is living a perfectly normal life. At that time I thought I had gone thru the second worst thing a parent could ever have to go thru. Of corse I was so very wrong.......there are so very many things that could be worse. And your journal pages have given me an insight that I would never have realized. Just as I knew that God was right beside us during our hour of need....I know he is right there with you too. And when the time comes for God to take Matts hand and lead him into everlasting peace, we will all know that he fought a valiant fight, he gave it his all. He has given me such strength and hope and faith just being able to read these pages. God is with all of you, and will give you the strength to see this thru. I am praying for you.
Debbie Cleveland <garthctm@swbell.net>
St. Charles, Mo USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:11 PM (CDT)

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Our thoughts and PRAYERS are with you all.
Jeannie <jbabycakes31@aol.com......www.carinbridge.com/wa/chadcline>
Vancouver, WA U.S.A. - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:09 PM (CDT)

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Matt - I can't stop thinking about you. All day, before I sleep, all the time, I am wondering how you're doing. It's not fair that you have to suffer so much and I wish more than anything that I could take away your pain. Only God can do that though, which he will. Praying for you always Matt.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:56 AM (CDT)

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Debbie ~
I couldn't sleep last night. My thoughts and prayers were filled with Matthew and your family. How I pray that Matthew's pain has decreased and he is feeling at peace with himself!! I can't imagine how painful these last few days have been for you and for Dirk. I hope that by reading these guestbook entries from family, friends, even strangers, you are able to realize that Matthew has incredibly, made a difference in thousands of lives! What a testament to you as parents, and to Matthew as our real life Hero. I wish I had the words to express how I adore him!
Thinking of all of you today and always ~
Stacey and Family
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:29 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jane, mom to K.J., 18, dx. 11/01, ALL, CCG 1961, Arm C
Jane Freestone <jwfreestone@earthlink.net>
Silver Spring, MD USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:18 AM (CDT)

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To the entire Hallmeier Family,
I remember so clearly Confirmation Day when standing on the alter Matthew made fun of his mom and I as we stood by with tears streaming down our face. He was so positive about the whole situation.
I know now Matthew that you are in the the palm of God's hand where He has you in His constant care. Soon He will raise you up on eagles wings and bring you home.
I am praying that you are able to be as comfortable as possible and that OUR LORD will end your pain.
My prayers are also with the immediate family as well as the extended family. I know that everyone is going to need God's abundant grace and strength to get through this.
He promises to never leave us and He will hold you all in His arms and give you peace.

Sherry Lewis/Our Savior Lutheran Church <SLLambchop@msn.com>
St. Peters, MO USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 10:40 AM (CDT)

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May God bless you all and give you strength. I am thinking of you always.
Kelli Petermeyer <kelli.petermeyer@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 10:36 AM (CDT)

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Matthew,
Do not be sorry, it is we who are sorry.

In these past few months you have reminded us and shown us faith, courage, and most of all love. Now we can pass these on to your many friends (our sons and daughters) and remind them of how valuable their lives are (sometimes we forget to do this).

We pray for an end to your suffering and eternal happiness and peace. We also pray for your family who will miss you each and every day. We believe that they will feel your presence in the days that you are apart and that you will someday be together as one loving family again.

God Bless You,

Alex, Joan, Dave, Kristen, and Maddy


Joan Noss <jnoss@psdr3.org>
Bridgeton, - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:54 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Matthew & Family,

Your life has touched my heart. I am crying as I read your last entry, and my heart sighs with compassion. I don't have any profound words of wisdom, just hope. Hope that God will spare you any more suffering, hope that you will enjoy peace, hope that you will be comforted, all of you, Matthew, mom, dad, siblings, family and friends! May it please God to strengthen you in hope.
Your friend in VA--Judy
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:38 AM (CDT)

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Matt and Family~

My thoughts and prayers for physical as well as spiritual comfort are with you daily.
Teri Xavier <tex612@aol.com>
Nashville, TN - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:31 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matt and Family
Much love and God's prayers to you all. God will sure send peace soon. Continue to stay strong and brave for God is the only one with all of the answers.

Love and God's Blessing


Stacy Edwards <sedward6@ibius.jnj.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:24 AM (CDT)

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Hallemier family,
My daughter, Ashley is 5 1/2 and has ALL. I know you and your mom from the ALL-KIDS list.

We'll be keeping you in our prayers as you fight this last battle, and be welcomed into Jesus' arms, with Him telling you "Well done my good and faithful servant..." Your life has been a testimony to others struggling against this awful disease.

Praying for you and your family during this difficult time.


Nancy and Ashley Jeane <Comcts@aol.com>
Peachtree City, GA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:23 AM (CDT)

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Hello Debbie-

I've been following the website for a couple of months, I'm not even sure how I found Matthew but am so thankful that I did. The first thing I do every day is check on Matthew. I sit here today with tears, Matthew is so incredibly strong and brave and is blessed with a wonderful family. He is in my prayers all day, every day. I want to Thank You for sharing him with us. I continue to pray for Matthew's peace and comfort.
Debbie Rolli <debrolli@hotmail.com>
Coventry , CT USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:10 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt & Family ~ I can Feel the Love Pouring from your Guestbook towards you & Heaven. Where God and his Angels are Getiing ready to Welcome: 1 Beautiful Wonderful Brave Courageous Fellow ~ I am so Sad ~ Words have failed me......Love, Debra, Mom to Ben ALL-Kids
I wish you Peace & GodSpeed. ((((HUGS))))


Debra James & Family <dabra4789@aol.com>
ks USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 08:54 AM (CDT)

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My name is Suzi Flamm and I am related to Ron, Millie and Benji Revelle. They have been keeping us updated on Matt and I have been reading your journals for some time now.
I wanted to send a quick note to let you know I have been praying for Matt and you--his family. I pray for your strength. I don't even know you, but I love you just by reading the love you and your family has. I'm sorry about what is happening and I know God will be with you. Today, tomorrow and always.
Suzi Flamm <suzanne.flamm@anheuser-busch.com>
Arnold, MO USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 08:34 AM (CDT)

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You are an incredible family. I have been reading your web page for some time now and needed to write today. I find Matthew in my thoughts and prayers so much. I know I dont know your family and can never understand the pain you are feeling right now. My prayers are for your continued strength as a family and for Matthew. May he not suffer any more horrible pain that he is feeling.
Nicki Jones and family <nickim@tbcnet.com>
Cortland, IL - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 08:29 AM (CDT)

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Hallemeier Family:
You all have been in my prayers since day one. I know this is a very hard time for your family, but GOD will bring you through it. He is there for you at all times and I know he has a purpose for everything in life. I do not know each of you personally, but the love I have seen and felt through Julie in the four years I have known her, I can just imagine the love in your family and the bonds that each of you share with each other. I will continue to keep your family in my prayers. GOD bless you! Alpha Gam Love!!
Sara Bailey (Julie's sorority sister) <sjb518@yahoo.com>
Waterloo, IL - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 07:58 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family,
We are friends of Greg and Sue Fackler and have been keeping updated on Matthew through them. We offer you all our prayers and support. May the peace of Christ be with you always. God bless you all.
Jeanne and Bernie Bennett
Jeanne Bennett <fullhouse3315@aol.com>
Whitehall, PA USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 07:57 AM (CDT)

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I sit here at my desk in tears after reading the last 2 days of entries. I sit here at my desk and pray for Matthew. What a brave and awesome young man. It breaks my heart that you have to endure this terrible disease. It eases my heart to know you have such a strong and loving family. I pray for your comfort.

Debbie - I don't know how I came across your website, I just know that ever since I did, I think of you and your family often. I am a mother of 2 and can just feel your pain. Thank you for sharing your life w/total strangers. I pray for strength for you & your family. May God Bless you all.
Mary Lou Harney <MHarney@fleetcapital.com>
Ellington, CT - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 07:40 AM (CDT)

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With appreciation and amazement of the gifts you have given each other and with thanks that you have shared them through this journal with so many: faith, strength, courage, wisdom and love. The lives of all who have known you personally or through this website are enriched because of you. With prayers that these same qualities continue to surround you.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDS
emmie <mmoxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 07:22 AM (CDT)

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Matthew, please keep the faith. You are a very brave, young man. I'm glad you know Jesus. I pray for comfort and peace for you. I looked at the pictures on your website. I hope you have joy that you have a very loving family, and more importantly, a God that loves you so very much, and cries when He says the pain you are in. In God's love....
Sue Wild <suzan.a.wild@monsanto.com >
Eureka, MO USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 07:12 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Matthew and Family,
I pray that now more than ever you feel the constant presence of God. He promises He is with you always even till the end of the age. He promises to stick closer than a brother. He can be our stength and courage. I pray that he let all of you feel his presence about you second by second as you continue to endure. Remember He is still in control even when everything feels out of control.
We will continue to pray here in NE.
In His service,


Lisa and George Kalcik <lkalcik@alltel.net>
Crete, NE USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 07:10 AM (CDT)

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WHAT AN INSPIRITUALTION THIS FAMILY IS TO ALL OF US... IT IS SAD THAT SUFFERING IS A PART OF THIS PERIOD OF OUR LIFE BUT WHAT A GLORIOUS LIFE IS WAITING FOR ALL US WHO BELIEVE IN (JESUS). IT IS TRULY A BLESSING TO KNOW THAT JESUS IS WAITING WITH OPENED ARMS TO RECEIVE THOSE WHO BELEIVE. NO MORE SUFFERING OR TEARS IS WAITING FOR ALL OF US.... MAY GOD'S SPEED BE WITH MATT AND HIS FAMILY.....MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOUR HOME WITH STRENGH TO FACE TOMORROW....MATT WE LOVE YOU........ ROBERT & TUFFI
ROBERT & TUFFI WYLDE <TUFFTOYS@SWBELL.NET>
ARNOLD , MO. UNITED STATES - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 07:08 AM (CDT)

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Matt and family,

May the peace of Christ be with you always. He loves you all with an unfailing love as we, your Christian family, pray with you during this difficult time. Your reward in Heaven will be great; keep your eyes on Him.

God bless you all.

Love,
Tracy
Tracy Chappell <Trasylvan@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 06:34 AM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeiers:
As I read last nights entry I found myself asking that futile "why" question that undoubtably you have asked many many times. Some day when we are face to face with God we will be able to understand. But for now it is only faith that can get you through these dark days. Please know that you all are never far from our thoughts and we are fervently praying for comfort and peace and for that "ultimate healing" for Matthew. (The tape of that song is in the mail) Your amazing walk through this sad sad journey is a powerful witness of love and faith and through caring bridge has touched so many hundreds of lives. I am thankful for the hospice team that are helping you all make this final leg of the journey. Matthew, you have been a tough soldier of Green Beret caliber, it's OK to stop fighting now. Debbie and Dirk, Julie, and Christopher, are hearts are hurting for you. Please know how much we love and care for you. You are forever,
In His Grip,
Sherri and George
sherri spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
bluffton, sc - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 05:47 AM (CDT)

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Matthew dear, don't be sorry, because you've tried much harder than people twice and three times your age, who know less than you about the nature of life. God comfort you, your dear mother and family.
Gloria McShane, mother of Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 02:43 AM (CDT)

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Many hugs and prayers are coming your way. May you all find the peace that passes all understanding in the hours ahead of you. We will pray for you.
Margie, Mom to Karissa, Anna, William, and wife to Kris <gscrazy@juno.com>
Ft. Lewis, WA USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 02:19 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.

For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven: if so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked.

For we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life.

Now he that hath wrought us for the selfsame thing is God, who also hath given unto us the earnest of the Spirit.

Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord: (for we walk by faith, not by sight:) we are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

(2 Corinthians 4:16 - 5:8)

I am praying for you, Matt. I pray that your mortality will be swallowed up of life. I pray that Jesus will soon receive you unto Himself, that you might be present with Him forever in heaven. Matt, confidently believe on the Lord Jesus.

I am also praying for your mother, father, Julie, and Chris. I pray that God will bless them with strength, grace, faith, peace, hope, love, and joy during this difficult time.

We walk by faith, not by sight.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 02:16 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and Matthew,
I cant get over the strength the two of you share. Matthew is a very lucky young man, getting to meet Jesus before the rest of us. I cried to hear of the suffering Matthew is going through and I will pray that it is not drawn out and that he finds some peace and comfort, as well yourself. May God bless you all. Love Shannon and Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO MO USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 01:00 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
Just wanted to let you know that we are praying for Matthew and the rest of your family. Praying that Matthew finds comfort and peace and strength for the rest of the family standing by his side.
Hugs,
Karen Brown <mbrown5507@aol.com>
Bend, OR USA - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:39 AM (CDT)

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Hallemeir Family: You have blessed us all so much by sharing your daily struggles and courageous battle. I have cried and prayed for Matthew and your family. I have always trusted in the divine plan of our Heavenly Father. Thank you Debbie for faithfully writing in this journal. I'm amazed at the strength that God has given you. You have been a gift to your son and to all of us. May God continue to be with you all in a very special way.
Bill Kaber <bkbill98@aol.com>
St.Charles, MO usa - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 12:01 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and Matthew ~
You have inspired parents and children from around the world with your courage, faith, love, and grace. I am so proud and honored to have shared in your lives. You have made a huge difference in the lives of total strangers (who now consider you our friends) by teaching us about strength and honor in the face of the ultimate pain and hardship. I have learned to appreciate God's blessings more fully because of you and your family. I am completely in awe of you, Matthew, and will never ever forget you. God Bless you. Sending prayers for peace and comfort to all of you.
Love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 11:39 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier Family,
The world has been truly blessed with the gift of Matthew. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Laura Lancaster, Pattonville Heights Middle School <caster1@mindspring.com>
St. Louis, MO 63146 - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 11:35 PM (CDT)

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Hello Matt, Debbie, and the rest of the family. I'm so sorry to hear about all the pain that Matt is having. I wish I knew just the right words to comfort all of you. It breaks my heart to think of what you're all going through. I just hope that the pain will lessen, and you will have the chance to enjoy each other in the time you have left. My heart goes out to all of you! You're a wonderful, and brave family!
Love you,
Your Calif. Cousin, Barb Cary
Barbara Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, Ca USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 11:23 PM (CDT)

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Mathew,Debbie,Dirk,Christopher,&Julie
(((((HUGS))))) A few weeks ago I stumbled across you site, a link from a link from alink....Everyday I look, everyday I pray, everyday I hope,everyday I find myself driffting away thinking of you, wishing somehow, someway I can take this pain away!My family and friends are all praying that the transition will be painless, that the good times will out number the bad, and you all hold each other close!May God be with you all!!
Cheri www.caringbridge.com/canada/katelynn <cherilee@telus.net>
Nelson, BC Canada - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 11:12 PM (CDT)

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Hallemeier's~

I haven't checked up on you guys in a few days, so I had a couple of journal entries to read. When I received my stem cell transplant (October 6, 2001) I had already gone through THREE catheters! And I had just been diagnosed in April of that year! They always seemed to clog up at the most inopportune (spelling?) times. I pray that the PICC line will continue to work just fine. I hope that there is some way for you, Mom, to read these guestbook entries to Matthew. If you aren't already. I feel that they might be able to give him some sort of reassurance. Reassurance? Of What?! That the Lord is ready for him, but is waiting until Matthew feels he is ready. How could you ever be ready for something like that? Only Matthew knows himself.

I have been praying constantly for the Lord to bring you comfort and peace.

Sending Many Hugs,
Elizabeth


Elizabeth's Journey
Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 11:03 PM (CDT)

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matt and family we love you god be beside all the way , love and prayers allways, love and prayers , Ron Millie Benji.
Ron Revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
Bridgeton, mo u s a - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 10:37 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and family,
As I read today's update my heart broke for the anguish your family is feeling. I will do my job to pray for your family for guidance and healing during this very rough time. Matthew, I so admire your strength and wisdom. Please know that we are all very proud of how you have fought your battle. God bless you all.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 10:10 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
It's not fair. No matter what anybody says to me or quotes to me, it's not fair. My son is almost 8 and he's battling ALL. It's not fair for any kid to have to deal with this stuff. Matt you are a warrior and a hero in my eyes. Although I haven't met you I have learned a great deal about courage and toughness just reading about you. Thank you for that.
Bo Mathis(father of DOUBLE M)
www.caringbridge.com/fl/champ <saveit24@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, Florida - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 10:03 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,
Please know that we're thinking of you and sending our prayers. May our hugs and thoughts give you strength and some comfort. Matthew you are a wonderful young man! I know that your family is very proud you.
Julie Ruttinger, mom to Keaton 9 (dx 12/98 Tcell, OT 4/6/02) <jjkk3@attbi.com>
Tecumseh, MI - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 09:56 PM (CDT)

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Oh Debbie, the tears are streaming down my face. You have one brave, courageous and inspirational, precious boy there! I'm so sorry for the incredible pain you are all experiencing. Our breaking hearts and special thoughts are with you. May you find strength and comfort soon, especially Matthew.
Thank you for sharing with us all.
MATT, YOU'RE A CHAMP!!
Loads of love and cuddles from,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 09:15 PM (CDT)

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You are so brave...I am sitting with my son who just received his new marrow...and I am thinking of you Matt, such a special, brave young man...and I pray for peace for you and your family.



Kathy-Robert Charlton's Mom <ckcharlton@aol.com>
WPB/Memphis, FL/TN Beautiful USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 09:05 PM (CDT)

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Please know that your Pittsburgh friends (friends of the Conover's) have Matt, you, and your whole family in our prayers.
Franci Eberz <feberz@stargate.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 08:58 PM (CDT)

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What a heartbreaking update. Matthew, I hope that you find comfort very soon and I'm praying for you constantly.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 06:55 PM (CDT)

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You have been in my prayers throughout the day. Thanks for keeping us updated,even though it is probably hard to do. You all are such an inspiration, especially Matthew. Some people never fight a battle like his in their whole lifetime. His reward will be great with Jesus.Love and prayers,Lisa
Lisa Salem <stevesalem@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 06:22 PM (CDT)

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Our thoughts and prayers are being lifted up for you. We pray that God grant your entire family strength, courage, and especially peace. We are thinking of you always. God Bless
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, Illinois - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 06:19 PM (CDT)

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Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. We especially pray for God to give you strength and comfort through this difficult time. Our daughter is currently being treated for ALL.

Joann Phillips <shphillips@toad.net>
Eldersburg, MD - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 05:21 PM (CDT)

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hello matt & family. we love you and are so thankfull. that you are our friend.we hurt with you daily. we also pray for you all the time.we will stand by you always.!! god bless you and your family,,we love you always.love and prayers. ron millie benji.
Ron Revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
Bridgeton Mo, Mo U S A - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 04:12 PM (CDT)

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hello matt & family. we love you and are so thankfull. that you are our friend.we hurt with you daily. we also pray for you all the time.we will stand by you always.!! god bless you and your family,,we love you always.love and prayers. ron millie benji.
Ron Revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
Bridgeton Mo, Mo U S A - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 04:12 PM (CDT)

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Although I've never met your family, I look at the site daily for updates. My heart, thoughts and prayers go to all of you during this tough time that you must endure.
Lisa Lauman <Justkatiekat@aol.com>
St. Louis, MO US - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 04:00 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt! Sorry to hear you've had such a rough couple of days. I pray that you were more comfortable today, and that it was good to just be at home with your family. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You annoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
Psalm 27:13-14
************************************************************
There is a really cool "rock" song called "My Father's House" by the group Audio Adrenaline. The words are "Come, and go with me, to my Father's house, come and go with me to my Father's house. It's a big big house, with lots and lots of rooms. A big, big table, with lots and lots of food. A big, big yard where we can play football. A big, big house... It's my Father's house."

The passage where that song comes from is John 14:2-3, which reads: "In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."

Matt, he has prepared a place for you and for all who believe. Jesus pleaded on our behalf and through his death and resurrection, secured our place in heaven, with him, for eternity. I pray that you are comforted by that truth. I pray that he gives you His peace, not as the world gives, but the peace only he can give... a peace that surpasses all understanding.

You are missed, Matt, and you are incredibly loved!!

Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran Church <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO 63301 - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 03:41 PM (CDT)

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What a blessing and what a nightmare. You've been able to get close and spend time with your teenage son like not many mothers have, but yet so hard to answer his questions and see him in pain.
All of us parents of kids with cancer have wondered what this would be like. It is very humbling (is that the right word?) to read your updates on how Matthew is feeling and how you are coping. Thank you for taking the time to keep us informed.
God's Blessings to you. You have so many people thinking and fervently praying for you, your family and Matthew to have peace.
Sara Freking
Austin's Page <sfrek@earthlink.net>
Red Wing, Mn Usa - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 03:07 PM (CDT)

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Matt and Family,
You don't know me, but I got directed to your site via another. My heart goes out to you and your family and I am always thinking of you and know that God is watching over you, prayers and love from Boston.
Mary Jordan <mary.jordan@cgey.com>
Boston, MA USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 02:52 PM (CDT)

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Matt,

When I think of you, I think of the little guy who always made everyone laugh. I haven't seen you in years, but for the last couple of months I have checked your website daily. You probably don't remember the time we spent together as children....you were pretty young....but I will NEVER forget a dinner we had at your old house with your family and my family. You kept us entertained by making an alligator out of french bread. I don't know why that memory has stuck with me all these years, but it has. And every time I think about it, it makes me smile. You are a remarkable young man who has touched so many people's lives. I pray daily that God will make this easy for you and that you will find comfort in knowing that there is a better place with Him where you will find peace and no pain.
Laura Wallace <lwallace@coinco.com>
Bridgeton, MO - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 01:47 PM (CDT)

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Hi, you don't know me but i have been following your website for almost a year now. I have aplastic anemia (bone marrow failure) and got your website through someone else i believe. Anyways, I have absolutely no idea how hard it must be to go through what you are going through. I am praying for you. I know that God will bring you the comfort you need, I just wish life didn't have to be so painful sometimes. I know you do too. I've seen sooooo many people go through what you are going through. Thank goodness we'll all have a party one day in heaven where we won't have to worry about anything like this anymore. For now I pray you find the strength in the Lord to endure the trial you've been called to endure. Blessings and prayers coming your way from me in NC.
Khalita C Jones <khalita.jones@duke.edu>
Durham, NC - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 01:15 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family,

You are truly an amazing young man Matthew. Your courage, strength and belief in God is a true inspriation to everyone that has had the pleasure to know you...even if only through your website. You and your family are constantly in our prayers. I pray that you are comfortable. I want to thank you for making us appreciate our family even more than we already do.
You will always remain in my mind, heart and prayers.
God Bless You!
Love,
Anita & Michael Bernardo
Anita Bernardo <Maknardo@aol.com>
Granada Hills, CA USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 01:04 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, it's funny how much I can think about someone who I don't even know. You are such an amazing guy, I'm so glad I stumbled onto your website because you are truly inspiring to me. I pray that you feel better soon Matt.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 12:53 PM (CDT)

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I just wanted to tell you that I've kept you all in my thoughts and prayers, You don't know me.. but through a friend, who's daughter was diagnosed with ALL.. she directed me to your site..
Please know how many are praying and keeping you in their thoughts..
Huggggggggggs
Jenn Varner <sampatlay@hotmail.com>
PA USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 12:27 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie ~
My prayers last night were filled with thoughts of Matthew. It's almost surreal to read your journal today and I cannot imagine the intense emotions you must be feeling. My heart is full of love and admiration for your family. I am constantly sending prayers to heaven for peace and comfort for Matthew.
Thinking of you with love and friendship~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 12:08 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, my heart is broken. There just are no words to describe the sadness I feel.

I will pray for Matt and your family.
Colleen <BrandonMom@Yahoo.com>
Herndon, VA USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 10:20 AM (CDT)

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Matthew- You are such a strong young man and wanted you to know how much I admire you. My prayers are with you and your family.
Diane and Mitchell Mathis (ALL KIDS) <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 10:02 AM (CDT)

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{{{{{{{{Matthew}}}}}}}} I want to pray for you honey & let you know how much God loves you! I pray His loving arms wrap around you and give you peace. I am so touched by your story so much that it just breaks my heart. *big smooch*
Dee Garrett <in2cocacola@hotmail.com>
Oxford, IN U.S.A. - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 09:13 AM (CDT)

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God is so good and all his grace & mercy he has shown for us is hard to understand but that is where faith comes in. I have faith that Matthew is going to a better place. A place where there is no more pain, suffering or tears. I am sad because I know your family will miss him but I am equally filled with peace & joy because I know he will be with Jesus soon. Oh, what a glorious day that will be. Please know that your brothers & sisters in Christ are praying for you!

God Bless,

Steven Hicks (Sarah Anne's Dad) <hicks@cbse.uab.edu>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 09:04 AM (CDT)

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I am praying for peace...for you and your family and that the pain for all be eased by God's love.


Cheryl <reaganjp@aol.com>
- Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 08:51 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt,
I'm praying so much for you that you are not frightened, and that you will be comfortable without feeling drugged.
All my love,

Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
- Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 08:49 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Jesus says: "I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep." (John 10:9-11)

Jesus, your good shepherd, gave His life for you, Matt. He died for your sins according to the scriptures. He was buried. He rose again the third day according to the scriptures.

Jesus, your good shepherd, came that you might have life, and that you might have it more abundantly!

Jesus says to you: "Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know." (John 14:1-4)

Jesus says: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14:6)

Jesus says: "I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die." (John 11:25-26)

Matt, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ! Trust in your good shepherd. Say with the psalmist David: "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)

Matt, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ! Trust in your good shepherd. Say with the Apostle Paul: "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)

We pray: Dear Jesus, comfort Matt and his family as they walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Thank You for dying for our sins. Thank You for dying for Matthew's sins. We believe in You, Jesus. We trust in You. You are our good shepherd. May Matt's heart not be troubled. May he not be afraid. May he believe in God. May he believe in You, dear Jesus. Receive Matthew unto Yourself, that where You are, he may be also. Jesus, You are the door. You are the way, the truth, and the life. You are the resurrection. He that believes in You, though he were dead, yet shall he live! For Matthew to live is Christ, and to die is gain. May Matthew dwell in Your Father's house forever. We pray in Your name, dear Jesus. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 08:28 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew & Family,
I keep looking at the photo of your family on my desktop wallpaper at work. Your smiles are terrific! Here's something I hope will make you smile...

"God promises to love me all day, sing songs all through the night! My life is God's prayer." Psalm 42:8

and... "Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. God always keeps his word." Hebrews 10:23

Jesus must have been the most joyful person walking on this earth! He came from the Father, and he knew that he would return to the Father. Words fail me when I try to express the wonder, gratitude, and excitement of the thought of going to meet him. Please put your trust in him, and know that I am praying for you constantly!

Your friend in VA--Judy
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 08:24 AM (CDT)

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We are sending all of our love and many, many prayers your way. Please let us know if we can help you in ANY way. Our hearts go out to you. Kim, Brian, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 08:22 AM (CDT)

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I have been coming to your website every weekday for over a month now, and have been overwhelmed by your family's love, support, and faith in our Lord in the face of such a horrible situation. What an example of the Lord's faithfulness, mercy and everlasting love! You have been such an inspiration to me and I am sure to the many others who have been touched by your words. My four year old son and I pray for Matthew and your family daily. May God surround you all with his comfort and peace in the days ahead.
Susan Vicari <s.vicari@inetmail.att.net>
Bridgeton, NJ - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 08:19 AM (CDT)

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There is nothing I can say except I am so sorry.
Michael Paley <mugslinux@mindspring.com>
- Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 06:22 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you & your family Matthew.
Maren <mar6732@aol.com>
Frederick, MD USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 05:42 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Dirk and your dearest Matthew - Tuesday's entry was heart-stopping. I am praying for a peace that is full of love and free of pain.
Gloria McShane, Canadian living in UK, mother of Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, Britain - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 02:34 AM (CDT)

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Matt, You are an amazing young man with a wonderful family. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

Angel Delaney's Family
www.caringbridge.com/ca/delaney
Amy Wright, Mom of Angel Delaney <Wright_Amy@hotmail.com>
San Diego, CA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 02:19 AM (CDT)

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I am thinking of you all and hurting for you. i am here for you.
Tameria Olivia's mommy <ecpatton@mindspring.com>
St Louis, - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 12:29 AM (CDT)

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I feel so helpless here in Minnesota. I wish there was something I could do to take Matt's pain and suffering away. If prayers and concern can help-it's being done in abundance from here! I feel so bad-I've been waiting for your update today and was hoping for some positive news. I know it's getting harder and harder as the time goes on and that rotten cancer advances. You have the thoughts and prayers of many, many people behind you and your family. I don't know your family personally, but I feel like I do. Continue to hang in there and again, my heart breaks for you and your family for what you are going through. I have done hospice care for both of my parents who passed away at 64 and 65 yrs of age. I'm praying that Matt's days are not painful ones.

Karen <Valenti56@aol.com>
Bloomington, Mn USA - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 11:33 PM (CDT)

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What can anyone possibly say to make this any easier for you guys?
You are a remarkable woman Debbie. And Matthew is a wonderful kid.
Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 11:29 PM (CDT)

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May God bless you tonight with His presence. I will pray for Matthew's comfort and peace.
Anita Moore <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 11:25 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Hebrews chapter 11 describes many men and women of great faith. Listen to one verse from that chapter: "These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth." (Hebrews 11:13)

We pray: Dear Father, if Christ does not return before we die, like the faithful men and women of old, may we die in faith. We hear Your promises. We are persuaded of them. We embrace them. We confess that we are strangers and pilgrims on the earth. Here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come. Heaven is our home. Bring us safely there. We walk by faith, not by sight. Fill Matt's heart with courage, peace, hope, love, and joy. Increase his faith. Drive away his fears. Wipe away his tears. Comfort him and his family. May He trust in You. May he not be afraid. May he only believe. We pray in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, who died and rose again. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 09:25 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie,
Your journal update brought tears to my eyes. Matthew is by far one of the bravest people I have ever had the honor of knowing. I am praying that today's visit to the clinic was not completely draining, and that Matthew's lines have resumed working fine. We are keeping you and your family so close to our hearts and always in our prayers.
Sending our love ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 08:58 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt Debbie & Dirk ` My Heart is Breaking as I read your Posts ~ I am so Sad ~ Tears on my keyboard....May Gods Angels Comfort You & Guide you as you walk the Unknown Uncharted Territory to Destiny,
Sending you all Big ((((HUGS)))) and Many Wonderful Prayers....Love,
Debra Mom to Ben.

Debra James & Family <dabra4789@aol.com>
ks USA - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 04:18 PM (CDT)

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My heart hurts for you all...Matthew you must be an amazing guy, I can tell by your strength and courage. That must have been very tough to have a day like yesterday, I pray those crazy lines get working, you certainly do not need that worry as well. I check on you everyday and think and pray for you often...
Kathy, Mom to Robert Charlton, awaiting BMT at St. Jude <ckcharlton@aol.com >
West Palm Beach , FL US - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 02:36 PM (CDT)

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Matt, Debbie, and Dirk
What a long and draining day you had yesterday. Hope Matt finds relief for the pain and discomfort. Your strength, your love, and your faith shine through your journal every day. We pray for continued comfort and strength for all of you.
Al and Mary Heinbokel <mheinbok@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 11:14 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie
I'm glad to hear Matthew is feeling a little better. The tx, blood & p'lets will have helped with that too. I hope those lumens start behaving themselves soon! Sorry it means another trip to the clinic. I can only imagine how hard it must be.
Debbie, I also hope your bath and a good sleep helped to give you a little comfort & peace.
Love & thoughts continue to be with your all, from afar.
MATT, YOU'RE A CHAMP!
Lots of love & cuddles from,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family (ALL-KIDS) <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 07:10 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt,
Hope that you are feeling better soon. I am continuing to think about you and your family and am keeping all of you in my prayers.
Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Oh usa - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 06:58 AM (CDT)

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Hey Matt! I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling so well and that you have to go back to the clinic tomorrow. I pray that they can do some things to make you feel comfortable.
Chris and I have been praying for you so much, as are so many others. I am sorry you have to go through this. I am not sure what my thoughts and feelings would be if I were to walk in your shoes. However, I do pray that you are comforted by your Savior. Matt, I pray that you never forget his Amazing promises to you. He has something so much better for you ... no suffering, no pain, no anguish. I know that must be hard to grap right now, but my prayer is that you know that, and ask that God keep you in the faith as you endure this time. His promises are everlasting, and the life that he offers is forever. That's what Christ came for... for you. He took it all upon him. He has been through your suffering. He knows how you hurt on your bad days, and how you rejoice on your good ones. He hung on the cross and breathed his last so that you could live with him forever. He rose again so that you know the promise is fulfilled. Matt, you are so incredibly loved!! Your savior, who knew you from the beginning, knows all about you... what you need, what you fear, and what you are thinking. He is there with you, holding you as you sleep, carrying you as you struggle, and comforting you. He is doing the same for your parents. He knows all of those needs that each of you has. I just pray that you hold to his promises as he carries you through this time.

You are missed, Matt, and you are incredibly loved!

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day - and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearing."
2 Timothy 4:7-8
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran Church <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 10:43 PM (CDT)

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Hope the central lines clear themselves...they are such a blessing..but can be such a pain at times. Glad to read that Matthew is feeling better tonight.
Hope you all have a good nights sleep...You're always in our prayers.
Anne Mom to Erin almost 5 dx ALL <ob828@aol.com>
- Monday, July 08, 2002 at 10:32 PM (CDT)

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Dear ones,
I was sorry to read that Matt was having a bad day today. I hope that tomorrow will be much better! We all admire your strength and fortitude in this. I wish there were something we could do to help you, but just don't know what it could be. We send our love and support, and hope that Matt can be comforted and not be afraid. I know his grandpa Erwin will be there for him, and will help when the time comes. We're all thinking of you and praying for all of you. Love,
your Calif. cousin, Barb Cary
Barbara Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, Ca USA - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 09:58 PM (CDT)

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Sorry today was such a rough day. I have faith that they'll get those lumens open. I hope the LP and new med make Matthew more comfortable.Still praying for peace and strength for you all. Love, Lisa
Lisa Salem <stevesalem@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 09:12 PM (CDT)

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TO THE HALLEMEIER'S:

Joanie Noss gave me your website information on Saturday.
Tonight as I read some of the messages, I wasoverwhelmed by the care and support that you have received from around the world. I was Matt's Music Teacher at Bridgeway...a fond memory is Matt riding the surfboard in the 5th grade musical. I will be praying for all of you.
Linda J. Eaker <golfsinger@earthlink.net>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 09:06 PM (CDT)

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Debbie
I am so sorry Matthew's line is acting up now! I know it must be difficult for both of you being at the clinic. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. My offer is still open if you need anything!!
Tameria Olivia's mommy <ecpatton@mindspring.com>
St Louis, - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 08:45 PM (CDT)

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Hello Debbie & family,
I just got done reading your update Debbie on Matthew. I brings tears to my eyes reading how strong Matthew is. I know in my heart that Jonny is waiting for Matthew in Heaven with open arms. I am sure that the first words out of Jonny's mouth will be can you be my friend. Matthew don't be scared about making the crossing, there will be many people there waiting for you and also to welcome you there.
Debbie and the rest of your family, I know how hard it is to be in your shoes. Remember we are in this together, and if you need anything give us a yell, and we will do anything that we can for you. Your entire family is in our prayers.
Jake and Pat Barlett <JacobECONRAIL@AOL.COM>
Camden, Mi US - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 02:34 PM (CDT)

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Debbie ~
I am continuing to pray for comfort and peace for dear Matthew. It breaks my heart to read about how tearful and scared he must feel at times. I am trying not to be angry, but still trying to understand and accept God's will. I know God will take care of Matthew and I do have faith. I will keep praying that Matthew's journey be filled with love and peace, and many many more good days ahead.
Thinking of you always ~
Stacey and family
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 01:32 PM (CDT)

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My heart breaks for what Matthew is enduring. How blessed he is to have such a loving family, though!
Judy <jgelber222@AOL.COM>
Miami Beach, FL - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 10:03 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I have been keeping track of you and your precious family regularly with your journaling. As I read your words, I feel as though you all are surrounding Matt with such love and that is truly the greatest gift. May you all be surrounded with boundless love to carry you through such difficult times. Thinking of Matt and all of you with love. Marnie
Marnie Hauff <marnieh431@aol.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 10:03 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

I want to share with you today one of my favorite selections from the pages of scripture:

"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen." (1 Peter 5:6-11)

We pray: Dear God, we humble ourselves under Your mighty hand. Exalt us in due time. We cast our cares, fears, worries, and burdens upon You. Thank You for caring for us. Give Matt strength and faith to endure his sufferings. Make him perfect. Stablish, strengthen, and settle him. May he turn to You and to You alone for peace and comfort. Have mercy upon Matt and his family. We pray in the name of Jesus, who is the resurrection and the life. Amen.

Matt, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 09:59 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I just wanted to send you love and strength. I think and pray for you often. It is difficult to
comprehend what you are going through. I can only imagine.
I would like to share two of my favorite poems, or maybe they are quotes.

We can not do great things in this life
We can only do small things with great love.
Mother Teresa

Some things can not be seen or even touched
They must be felt with the heart.
Helen Keller

Excuse me if they aren't the exact quote, but for some reason, I get strength from them.

Keep on Praying,
All my love,
Gelene





Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
- Monday, July 08, 2002 at 09:04 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk and Matthew-
WOW.....32,000 visits to the website!! It must be a great comfort to know that so many people are thinking and praying for your family. Matthew has touched so many lives. The arms that are holding you now are the arms that will never let you go. I am praying God's loving embrace will bring your heart rest and comfort today. We love you guys and are always here for you anytime you need us...day or night.
Alison Haddock (mom to Alexandria with ALL) www.caringbridge.com/page/alexandriasangels
Alison Haddock <AGHaddock@msn.com>
O'Fallon, MO 63366 - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 08:58 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matt and family,
Saying continued prayers that Matt will find comfort and peace and become less anxious. God loves you and so do all of us that may never have met you in person, but have grown to know and love you through your Mom's wonderful posts. You are truly a very special family and constantly in my, thoughts, heart and prayers. God bless!
Kelley Fitzgerald (ALL-Kids) <kelfitz@rochester.rr.com>
Rochester, NY - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 08:28 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew & Family

I will be holding you close to my heart in prayer today. Matthew, I pray especially that you will not be afraid! You are very special to God! He will NOT abandon you!

With much care and concern,
Judy
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 07:55 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, like so many others I want to thank you for the great job you do in keeping the journal up-to-date so that we know how Matt is doing. Whether you realize it or not, in all of this God is using you as one of His bright, shining stars, giving witness of how His love and strength works in us at the most difficult times of our lives. God bless you!
Dirk, I love you. I would trust you with my life. I am glad that God entrusted Matt's life to you. God bless you!
Matt, I have never personally faced what you are dealing with at this time. But when I do I will hold onto Jesus with all the faith I've got. You can do this too. When you were baptized Jesus adopted you into His family. He calls you His very own child. He has blessed your life in ways you can't even imagine. He watches over you and is with you now. Try not to be afraid. Jesus loves you and He will take care of you -- now and forever. He will take care of your family too. And He promises that someday there will be a great family reunion for you all. Just believe. Trust Jesus with your life. And be strong and courageous for the Lord your God is with you all the time! God bless you!
George Spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
bluffton, sc usa - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 05:03 AM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,
I found your page from another Caringbridge site and just wanted to let you know that I pray nightly for Matt's comfort and peace. He is as brave a young man as I have ever known, and the strength and courage of your family is truly special. May God hold you all in his hands.
Denise Ward <deniward@shaw.ca>
Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 01:05 AM (CDT)

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hi matt may god comfort you tonite in his name , we love you . ron millie benji.
ron revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo u s a - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 10:41 PM (CDT)

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Just wanted to say good night and let you know that I am thinking about you. I hope you had a nice weekend. It was sure hot! I hope that the doctor will be able to help Matthew with the pain he is having. We continue to keep you in our prayers. We love you. Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 10:40 PM (CDT)

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Just wanted to say good night and let you know that I am thinking about you. I hope you had a nice weekend. It was sure hot! I hope that the doctor will be able to help Matthew with the pain he is having. We continue to keep you in our prayers. We love you. Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 10:40 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew and family,
I am thinking of you. I can see by your website you are a very handsome young man. Kids with leukemia are very special to me and I wish you well. I know what you are facing is very difficult, and wish that no young person had to have such a mean rotten disease. I will keep you in my prayers.
I am a nurse, like your Mom with a 16 year old son with ALL.
God bless you and your family!
Susan Roe <lucycm123@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 09:04 PM (CDT)

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hi mat and family, hope your haveing a good weekend,i think and pray for you daily. we love you, with god as your co pilet you will make it, love and prayers ron millie benji,
Ron Revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo usa - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 07:46 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt and family. We continue to read your page daily and you are always in our thoughts. Debbie, I admire your strength and the pillar you are for your family. Matt, the girls talk about when you came over a few years ago and how funny you are and you were pushing them around in a laundry basket. Jordan says hi. We think of you daily. Our prayers are with you all. God Bless.
The Millers- Jeff, Kim, Jordan, Lindsay & Kayla <fivemillerz@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 07:21 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matthew, and family ~
Just wanted to let you know that you are in our thoughts on this beautiful Sunday morning. I hope your family is enjoying a blessed day together.
Still praying like crazy ~
Love,
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 11:30 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew,
We are praying that you will stay comfortable and that you won't be afraid. We take such joy in knowing that you have a nice day with your family. You are such a brave young man. It is an honor to share in your life like this.
Charlotte and Julia Boles 13 dx ALL 9/10/01 <zoom56K@aol.com>
Medford, NJ USA - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 07:04 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

The psalmist writes: "O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together." (Psalm 34:3)

John the Baptist spoke these words concerning Jesus: "He must increase, but I must decrease." (John 3:30)

We pray: LORD, we magnify You! We exalt Your name! May You increase in our lives. May we decrease. We ask that You be magnified in the life of Matt. Have compassion upon him. Draw him to You and to Your words. Increase his faith. Strengthen him and his family. We thank You for the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. We pray in His Name. Amen.

Matt, I continue to pray for you and your family. Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. Be not afraid, only believe.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 06:49 AM (CDT)

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Hello Hallemeier family!
Just wanted to say hi and let you know you all continue to be in our hearts and minds.
Murray & Matt would make a good pair........he LOVES hot food too!
Matt, you're a CHAMP!
Sending loads of love & cuddles from Down Under!
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, VIC. AUSTRALIA - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 06:11 AM (CDT)

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Matthew & Family,

I was glad to read that you all celebrated a good 4th of July together. Our town's fireworks show seemed a bit shorter than it was last year. The Enid Symphony played along w/ the fireworks and the music was beautiful. The park was packed. There was no where to park! Luckily, we live close enough to just walk there.

Today is my 20th birthday! (July 6th) It was great to read today that you are doing so much for yourself, like making hot wings for instance. My younger brother LOVES them! What's your recipe? We'll have to trade.

I don't know about you guys, but I just love watching movies. It's a great way to get away from life and become a part of the movie for awhile. Another movie that I'd like to recommend is Mr. Deeds. Very good movie. Black Hawk Down was also pretty good. But it was rather bloody.

May God continue to bless you all with the comfort and peace of knowing that you have eachother during this time.

Praying for you always,
Elizabeth

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and conveniences, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
---Martin Luther King, Jr.


Elizabeth's Journey
Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes <Lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 12:00 AM (CDT)

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Our PRAYS are with you
Albert And Patricia Sronce <mom2636@aol.com>
St.Peters, Mo St .Charles - Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 11:30 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt! I am glad to hear that you had a good show for fireworks! We watched them on tv, and some people were letting them off in our apartment comlex, so we watched that for a little bit too. We were just afraid that something was going to catch fire... yikes!
Just wanted to drop in and see how you were doing today. I hope that all goes well for you on Moday when you go to the clinic. Hopefully the Dr. will be able to make you a little more comfortable. You are in our thoughts and prayers!! We miss you and we love you!

"In Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33
What a great promise and word of encouragement... Christ has overcome the world through his death and resurrection. What great joy that is for us. We have the promise that we too, shall overcome the world... we too shall overcome all of the ailments of the world as well. Great encouragement for the life we have in store for us.
Julie and Chris Bushre <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 09:34 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie~
Glad to hear that Matthew had a good 4th of July ~ especially with those special "HOT" wings! Whoa! Thank you so much for the birthday wishes too ~ you are so sweet and thoughtful. As you know, Matthew and your family are at the very top of our prayer list. I hope and pray that Matthew had another good day today. God Bless your precious family!
Sending love from Las Vegas ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 09:00 PM (CDT)

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HI Matt,
Just wanted to drop in and say Happy 4th of July and also that I am praying for your pain this week end. I pray you can get some relief soon from your Dr. if nessary. In Him, a new cysber prayer warrior, Bonnie Prince
Bonnie Prince <bjprinc2@aol.com>
wildwood, mo - Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 11:21 AM (CDT)

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Hi,

I come by daily. I hope you have a wonderful blessed day. Matthew enjoy the beauty of summer.
Anita Moore mother of Holly dx Sept, 2000 AML, April, 2001 StemCell Transplant <anitamo@charter.net>
- Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 10:04 AM (CDT)

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Hoping the rest of this Holiday weekend is filled with some laughter, comfort and cooler weather for you!!! Thanks for keeping us posted through this website! You all remain in my thoughts and prayers.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL KIDS
emmie <mmoxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL - Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 07:01 AM (CDT)

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Heya Matt =) Hope you had a good day today. Nite nite.
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 11:35 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

We pray: Dear LORD, we trust in Your higher ways. We trust in Your higher thoughts. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 08:10 PM (CDT)

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Hi guys, I am glad to hear you guys have a reasonably good 4th, I just wish this were so much different...
Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Friday, July 05, 2002 at 06:00 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt, Debbie and Family,
Thanks so much for the update today. I think lately I've been just so anxious to get to work each day to read them. I think about you all constantly when I'm at home. I was with my husband and kids at the fireworks last night, and was wondering if you were able to see any fireworks. I'm so glad you had a good day with your family. I keep praying many times a day for comfort and strength for all of you, but I haven't given up on asking for Him to grant the one miracle that we all want so much. I hope this weekend brings many more special times for all of you. Just remember to lean hard on Him when you need extra strength. I'm sending a huge hug for all of you and remember I'm praying very, very hard. With many prayers and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 03:19 PM (CDT)

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Matt & Family,
Hi - We just wanted you to know that you are always in our thoughts and prayers. We also want to thank your mom for sharing your lives with everyone. Sometimes it is hard to read these pages without tears and I don't know if that is just the mom in me or because we have watched all you Bridgeway boys grow up and it scares the heck out of me to think of losing one of you. Keep making good memories for your family and we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Diana, Dean, Jason & Jessica Bright <dndbright@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 01:26 PM (CDT)

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Matt, you are a brave young man! I know this must be a frightening time for you, but as long as you know what Christ did for you on the cross and accept that, He will guide you through every step of the way if you just call on Him. Take His hand and don't let go! I have looked over these pages and have seen the love you are surrounded by through your family and I am amazed. Your family is truly a strong one and I am encouraged to see such love and compassion. Since God's ways are much higher than ours we seldom understand why he has us go through certain situations, but know this... You are in the best hands...the most loving hands that ever existed. We love you and continue to pray for you and your family in our church family (Benji's). May God continue to have His hand on your life and those who you touch!
Karen Robinson <renea@rk-robinson.com>
St. Peters, MO USA - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 11:44 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt and family, Couldn't help but think of you all last night as we watched the fireworks, and hoped you were doing the same. Hope you had a good day and evening and were able to fully enjoy it all. Love to all of you!!
Your "California Cousin" Barb Cary

Barbara Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, Ca USA - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 11:02 AM (CDT)

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Hope you all had a nice 4th of July. Thinking of you and praying for your everyday.
Laura L. (from the ALL-KIDS list-serv) <llampary@msn.com>
Bonita Springs, FL - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 08:58 AM (CDT)

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Matt,

As we spent some family time together on the 4th of July ( and watched Alex's fireworks display) we thought of you. You are always in our thoughts and prayers, and we realized just how great it is to spend this time together. Thanks for sharing your family time with us over the web. Hang in there, and we hope you had a good day yesterday too!!

Love the Noss family
Joan Noss <jnoss@psdr3.org>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 08:54 AM (CDT)

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Hope you had a fantastic July 4th! I hope that Matthew had a good day. Each day is such a blessing to enjoy. You are always in our thoughts. We love you!
Kim, Brian, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca (with one tooth as of Tuesday)
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 08:39 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Matthew and Family-

Hoping your day was filled with wonderful moments together. Thinking of you all so often.
Annie Thomas <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 09:57 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt, My name is Courtney Shine I lived in your old neighborhood in Bridgeton. I was freinds with Julie. Don't know if you knew, I myself was in a car accident in '98. I now live with a brain injury due to the accident. My mom told me of your illnesss. I thought I would share with you and your family that I was in a coma for 1 1/2 months (it seemed to me that i was just sleepin a long time) I'm still here cause He said "not your time" and pointed away. I want to tell you don't be afraid to go up to heaven, on my visit up their, it was beautiful - I didn't want to come back, but He sent me back with an angel carrying me. I'm telling you not to cry and be upset, its great up there! I didn't want to leave. I remember seeing my grandpa at like a 1/2 moon-shaped table, and he had a big smile on his face, so I know he was happy. So your family should not be upset because you will love it up there! I know it is hard, but I was there and I wanted to share a little bit about it with you, give me a call if you would like. Oyeah, a good juice (I like) "Welch's" White Grape Peach Juice. Tell me what you think.
Talk to you later, Courtney

Courtney Shine <eshine04@aol.com>
Bridgeton , MO USA - Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 06:19 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family: Just to let you know we're thinking of you often - have a wonderful family holiday.
Janet Guild (Nettie's mom) <tguild001@hawaii.rr.com>
visiting in New York, NY - Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 03:46 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Happy 4th of July to you and to your family! What a blessing to live in the United States of America! Enjoy this special day of celebration!

The Bible speaks of our relationship to the government: "Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well. For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men: as free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God. Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king." (1 Peter 2:13-17)

We pray: Father, may we be found living by these words. We thank You for all of the blessings that You have so richly bestowed upon us, including the blessings of faith, family, and friends. We thank You for this nation in which we live. Guide and direct our leaders. May we live quiet and peaceable lives in all godliness and honesty. May we serve You. In Jesus' Name, we pray. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 02:38 PM (CDT)

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To all: Happy Fourth of July! Hoping that you all have a wonderful day, spectacular fireworks and lots of laughter. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers; and still praying for a miracle, Matt. :)
gina peters <gpeters@mail.stcharles.k12.mo.us>
- Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 09:22 AM (CDT)

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well hello to my guys:)
nothin long to have to kep u on the comp. just wanted to let u know i was thinging about you all and praying that matt is doing ok!! and that u all have a best 4th ever.

love u's
ronnie,millie & Benj
millie revelle <countrygrl1107@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo usa - Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 08:56 AM (CDT)

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Matt & Family~

I've been fighting a cough and sinus drainage for a few days and finally went to the doctor for it. He gave me a steriod inhaler that makes me feel like I'm going to shake myself crazy! It's even hard to type. I'm shakin' like a leaf!!! :o)

I smiled when I read that you had another good day. I pray there are many more to come. I'm hoping that you and your family will get to see some type of fireworks tomorrow on Independence Day.

Happy 4th of July!!!


Elizabeth's Journey
Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 11:34 PM (CDT)

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Matt and Family,

May Jesus hold you in his arms, encourage you and give you strength. Thanks for sharing your lives through your webpage. God bless you.

Love,
Tracy

Tracy Chappell <Trasylvan@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 09:31 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew and Family,
Glad to hear that you've had a couple of good days~ I hope that you all enjoy a happy 4th of July, relaxing together as a family~
God bless,

Anne, Mom to Erin dx ALL <ob828@aol.com>
- Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 08:31 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie, Matthew, and family ~
We are thinking of you, as always. It is good to read that Matthew had a better day yesterday, I hope today is even better. Wishing you all a very special 4th of July tomorrow. Hope you share lots of good food!
Our prayers continue for all of you ~
Love,
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 05:55 PM (CDT)

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hi matt glad your feeling good , happy 4th have fun , love ya ron revelle
ron <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo u s a. - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 05:38 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt! Just wanted to stop in and say Hey! I just ran home to check e-mail before heading back to church for Sr. High. I hope you are having a great evening!! You are in our (mine and Chris') prayers! We miss you and we love you!

"For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Phil. 2:13
I read this verse today, and was reminded that His goal is for us to be with him. Our goal is to continue the race to reach the prize which Christ has called us heavenward - the prize which has been won for us through Christ's blood on the cross.
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 05:05 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

As the 4th of July approaches, I am reminded of these words of our Lord: "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." (2 Chronicles 7:14)

We pray: Lord, we, Your people which are called by Your name, humble ourselves before You. We pray. We seek Your face. Cause us to turn from our wicked ways. Hear from heaven. Forgive our sin. Heal our land. Have compassion upon Matt and his family. We ask for mercy in the name of Jesus, who died for our sins and rose again. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 04:35 PM (CDT)

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I came because a friend sent me this email.
God bless you and keep you in his hands Matt and family!!
Jan DeBlaze <tvman51@aol.com>
St. Charles, Mo. USA - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 09:15 AM (CDT)

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I just received an email from a friend that informed me of your situation. I will keep you in my prayers. Anything is possible through God. Keep your chin up!
Kim Shelton <kimber_lyn00@hotmail.com>
Conway, MO - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 08:48 AM (CDT)

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HI There Matt and Fam,
'I just dropped in before going to bed and saw that your Mom had put new pictures and update on your web sight. Thanks for that and for the chance to get to share in your life . It must be hard and yet, maybe knowing so many people care about your illness and it also gives us a chance to pray for you and your family. I realize you don't know me, but I sent you a card just before you left the hospital this last time and I found out about you and your family from the Pearl children. WE can never have too many friends or prayers. So, have a great 4th of July and I will drop in on ya later, p.s. you sure are a good looking guy,,,,,,,,,,, If I were 40 years younger I would put your picture on my wall :O) Just kidding, sincerely, a cyber friend, Bonnie Prince
BOnnie Prince <bjprince2@aol.com>
wildwood, mo - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 12:59 AM (CDT)

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Hello, I was lead to your site by my dear friend Beth McQuin. I want you to know that I am praying for all of you. Sadly we have walked down this path ourselves...a road I wish on no parent or child.
We lost our little girl, Jordyn to AMl leukemia. After a BMT she relapsed on day 77...so not long after Matthew. We had so many hopes that it would be Jordyn's "cure" to live a long beautiful life.
We were blessed that codiene and Tylenol 3 kept her comfortable. We were able to fly home to KS for a few days to have a birthday party and spend time with friends and family.
The one thing I am so happy I did was take pictures, lots and lots and lots of pictures. We tried to go to as many places as possible that she would enjoy and would not completely wear her out.
I hope that your days are full of happiness, laughter, and love.
http://www.geocities.com/ourangeljordyn/Welcome.html

please if you would like visit Jordyn's site. If you go to the bottom of the page and click on "index" you can go and read my journals I wrote on Caringbridge during her life and death and since then and see pages of pictures of her.
Christy Fitzpatrick <Ourangeljordyn@aol.com>
Ft. Riley, KS USA - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 12:31 AM (CDT)

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Praying for you Matt and for your loving family.
Peace
Jehanne <bobandjehanne@aol.com>
cv, az usa - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 12:23 AM (CDT)

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Hey Matt ! I wish I could chat with you, you seem so cool. Have a great day tomorrow, bye !
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Canada, bc canada - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 12:02 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, Matt, & family,

We're walking with you in spirit. We hope you can feel the strength and support willed to you from the collective prayers of the FAITH list, as well as a few dear friends and brethren who care very much what's happening. You have our hearts with you. I'd like to share the words of a song which so blesses me:

When the valley is deep,
When the mountain is steep,
When the body is weary,
When we stumble and fall...

When the choices are hard,
When we're battered and scarred,
When we've spent our resources, w
When we've given our all...

In Jesus' name we press on,
In Jesus' name, we press on.
Dear Lord with the prize clear before our eyes,
We find the strength to press on.

Dear Lord, with the prize clear before our eyes,
We find the strength to press on,

In Jesus' name, we press on.
In Jesus' name, we press on.
Dear Lord, with the prize clear before our eyes,
We find the strength to press on,
We find the strength to press on, to press on.

"These are the ones who have gone through the great suffering, they have washed their robes in the blood of the Lamb and made them white. And so they stand before the throne of God...they will never hunger or thirst again and they wont be troubled...and the Lamb ...will be their shepherd. He will lead them to astreams of life-giving water and God will wipe every tear from their eyes." Rev 7:14-17
Beth McQuin & crew www.onevoiceusa.org <CancrRider@aol.com>
Mt. Airy, MD USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 11:05 PM (CDT)

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HEY MATT:)
SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR BAD DAY, THANK THE LORD YOU HAVING A GOOD DAY,AND GOD WILING MANY MORE TO FOLLOW:)AND I KNOW THAT U R PROBABLY HEARING HOW R U SO I WILL JUST SAY TO MY MATT, I HOPE YOUR FEELING GOOD, HOPE U KNOW HOW SPECIAL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY R TO US, AND WE R HERE FOR ANY NEEDS. IF U WANT I WILL EVEN COME OVER AND BRING BENJ AND THROW ALL MY CHANGE OUT OF NY ASH TO FOR YOU TO,WELL I WONT KEEP YOU ALL LONG,JUST LET US KNOW WHEN U R UP FOR A FEW MINUTES OF HEL'S AND WE R THERE. AND MATT BETWEEN ME AND U LET YOUR MOM BABY U ALL SHE WANTS CAUSE BENJ IS 16 AND I STILL DO THE SAME TO HIM, HUGS AND ALL,THATS JUST HOW US MOMS R TO ARE SPECIAL LITTLE GUYS. YOU MOM IS A MOM I KNOW MANY PEOPLE ADMIRE AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY TO. BUT BUDDY U KEEP HANGING IN THERE. AND I DIDNT FORGET MY COOKIES.

NIGHT FOR NOW
XXXXXXXXX'S FOR THER WHOLE FAMILY:)WE LOVE U GUYS LOTS

MILLIE REVELLE <COUNTRYGRL1107@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON, MO USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 10:46 PM (CDT)

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Keep fighting the good fight Matt. Miracles do happen every day. You just might be the next in line!
Vicki McFarland <vickvonvicki@aol.com>
Marshfield, Mo USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 10:15 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
I am a friend of Steven Hicks and he asked that we remember you and your family in our prayers. I definitely will! I also want to encourage you to keep your focus on Christ.
" The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; His ears are open to the cries for help...The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. Psalm 34: 15,17.
May God bless you.
Ashley Thigpen <ashthig@aol.com>
McCalla, Al - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 09:18 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, Steven Hicks has asked us to pray for you. So we wanted to say hello and tell you that we are praying for you. We are so sorry to hear that you are not feeling to swift. We pray that you will feel God's presence as you are lifted up in prayer by many of your brothers & sisters in Christ. Does Dirk make root beer floats for everyone or just you? It sounds great!
Love in Christ, Mike, Sherri, Elise & Ashtyn Sexton
Jeremiah 29:11
The Sexton's <n2gsus@mindspring.com>
Lake View, AL - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 07:47 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

I recommend Psalm 27 to you for your reading. This psalm opens with the words: "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1)

May the LORD be your light, Matt! May the LORD be your salvation! May the LORD be the strength of your life! May you not fear! May you not be afraid!

Jesus says: "I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." (John 8:12)

Matt, Jesus is the light of the world! Follow Him! May you have the light of life!

Psalm 27 closes with these words: "I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." (Psalm 27:13-14)

We pray: Dear Lord Jesus, You are the light of the world! You are our light! You are our salvation! We follow You, the light of life. Drive away our fears! May we not be afraid. Give Matt faith to believe to see Your goodness in the land of the living. May he wait on You. May he be of good courage. Strengthen his heart. May You be the strength of Matt's life. May You be the strength of Matt's family. We thank You, Jesus. We love You, Jesus. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 07:10 PM (CDT)

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Matt. My name is Emily Chastain and I know what you are goin`` though. I was in the Children's Hospital for the same amount of time adn longer then you with a very serious head injury. I hope every thing goes well for you and your family, and I hope you have a good time with your life for the time being. There is so much to live for and if you give up then it's over and I knnow that you don't want or need that. I hope that you are not goin` to relapse again. I know that I have done it 3 times and it's not fun to be back on IV's and tubes. I hope you don't have to go through that sort of thing. Love to you and you family. Emily Chastain
Emily Chastain <STL wit Additude@aol.com>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 07:08 PM (CDT)

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Mathew, My name is Ellen Richards, I am Benji Revelle's aunt. Millie sent me the information about you. Be strong, God has a plan for all of us. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God Bless all of you!!!!
Ellen Richards <ellenrichards@charter.net>
St. Peters, MO USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 06:39 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew,
My cousin from MO. passed your name and a prayer request on to us. Isn't it amazing how far and wide God's hands can stretch. May God give you continued peace and strength, may you draw from it on a daily basis. Remember that no matter what happens God is still in control and He loves you with a never ending love. We will continue to pray for you and check on you. God's Blessing to you and your family. You are a brave young man my dear.


George and Lisa Kalcik and family <lkalcik@alltel.net>
Crete, NE USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 05:25 PM (CDT)

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Thank you for the daily updates. You all have truly inspired me. May God give you peace. God bless you.
Kathy Charlton/Mom to Robert awaiting transplant at St. Jude <ckcharlton@aol.com>
WestPalm Beach/Mamphis, FL/TN US - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 04:32 PM (CDT)

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Matthew-I found your site on the internet and have been checking every day. You seem to be a fine young man with great courage. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope that you have a great day.

Julia <jcarlis@uark.edu>
Benton, AR - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 04:19 PM (CDT)

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My name is Caroline and I stumbled across your website from a listing of children fighting cancer. My heart immediately went out to Matt and your entire family. I have spent hours reading his history and just wanted you to know that I am praying for the strengh of each one you. Our Saviour pours out his abundant peace in order that we may face what this sinful world throws at us. I pray that he will give you and your family an added portion of comfort. With love and prayers.
Caroline Gallucci <carolinew@hardingrace.com>
Benton, AR - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 02:57 PM (CDT)

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Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I think about you often and wish that I could do more than send my good wishes over the internet.
Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 12:56 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,

Just wanted to let you know we are praying for you and your family everyday. I hope you can feel the cross the internet hug.
Colleen <BrandonMom@Yahoo.com>
Herndon, VA USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 12:34 PM (CDT)

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Love and prayers to Matthew and family. I suffered the loss of my dear son Paul in a car wreck, and realize full well that we must cherish every day that we have with our loved ones.
Pat Leavitt <Patsy0507Ptrc@aol.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 12:09 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family, you are in my thoughts and prayers throughout each day. I think of Matthew often and hope that he is having a good day and enjoying the things he likes to do. God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
AL - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 11:39 AM (CDT)

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I came to your website through that of Andrew Colletti who is receiving his BMT TODAY at The Hutch in Seattle. I have prayed that the peace that passes all understanding and only comes through the love of our LORD and Savior will settle around your entire family like an old familiar quilt on a chilly day.
Michele Nelson <biglabs@earthlink.net>
King William, VA USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 11:18 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie and family ~
You ask for our prayers, and you've got them. We pray that today is a GOOD day for Matthew and all of the Hallemeier family. Our thoughts are with all of you constantly, that you all have many many more precious days together and that Matthew will find some comfort in the love that surrounds him from friends, family, even "strangers".
Thank you so much for continuing to share your daily activities with us here.
We are sending love and prayers ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 10:50 AM (CDT)

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I just wanted to let Matthew know that there are many people around the country Praying for him. I personally pray that the Lord will give Matthew the feeling of security and calmness to help him in his situation.
Bryan <ambrose@cbse.uab.edu>
Birmingham, AL United States - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 09:42 AM (CDT)

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Good Morning Matt! Just wanted to stop in and see how things are going, and to say Hey! I hope today is a good one for you... that you get some good time with your family, and that you are comfortable. Chris and I were doing our devotions this morning, and I wanted to share with you what we read and then prayed about...

"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes - I, and not another. How my heart yearns with in me!" Job 19:25-27

Job was sure he was dying. He was in agony. His strength had completely left him. All hope of recovery was gone. What was left? Job's only comfort was the living hope of the resurrection.

There is nothing that helps a Christian through difficult days more than meditating on the resurrection. Christ is risen, and so we too shall rise. It's a glorious future that awaits us in heaven. That sunbeam of eternity can pierce through any gloom and misery which weigh us down now.

The thing that's so remarkable about Job was that he could express so clearly the same hope we have. Even though he lived hundreds of years before Christ rose from the dead, he could see with eyes of faith his living Redeemer standing on the earth at the last day.

With those same spiritual eyes he could see himself in front of the Savior, looking at him with his own eyes, his bones once more clothed with flesh, ready to hear the blessed invitation of Christ: "Come you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world." (Matt. 25:34)

That faith which Job had is the same faith we need when everything seems to fall apart. When death itself appears to be at the door, it is our hope of the life to come with Christ that sustains us. A faith which looks to the future can say with Paul, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." (Romans 8:18)

Can we see that glory? Can we look beyond the grave with Job to the day when our bodies will be raised and made like Christ's own glorious body? Can we fix our vision on the day when we will see the Lord with those same eyes that so often see only misery and suffering on this earth? Job conquered all with his triumphant faith in the resurrection. We can too.

Dear Lord:
Let us see your Son on that glorious day of the resurrection and hear his invitation to the blessings of heaven. Lord, we pray that you comfort Matt this day. Keep him strong in the faith that comes only from you. Be with his family, espececially Dirk and Debbie. Give them strength Lord, and help them too, to know and be comforted by your Gospel message... that in Christ, we have life upon life, forever. Help us all to remember that you sent your Son to walk in our shoes before us, and that, as Paul states, "our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed in us" and to us on the last day. Thank you Lord, for all that you have given us, and Lord, thank you for Matt. For the blessing that he is and has been to so many. For making him your child, and for working in and through his life. We pray all of this through your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever, Amen.
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 09:14 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Matthew & Family,

I will hold you in my heart all day today. Peace to you. God's blessing rest upon you and bring you comfort.

Your cyber-friend in VA--Judy
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 09:06 AM (CDT)

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Hi Hallemeier family,
Uncle Chris and I are checking on you via the website everyday. I was so happy to read you were out there enjoying your days as a family. Each day is truly a gift. I think your family has taught us all to remember that. We continue to pray for Matt's comfort and your strength.
Lots of Love!
Michelle and Uncle Chris
Michelle Mathews <mmathews74@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 08:46 AM (CDT)

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You are in our thoughts and prayers each and every day. Thank you for the updates on Matthew.
LouAnn and Tom Wicker <louannwick@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 08:46 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew,
I just wanted to tell you that the teens from our church recently went to camp, while they were there they started praying for you and they still continue to ask about you and pray for you. There is nothing more powerful than the power of prayer. Have no fear the Lord is with you always He will never leave your side, He loves and adores you. When the Lord decides to take you home to meet Him rather your 16 or 95, there will be no more luekemia, no more pain, no more medicines. Matt, you are always in my prayers and I urge you to seek the Lord everyday just seek His Face and then there will be no more fear. We Love you and lift you up to our wonderful Lord for complete healing.
Pete, Chris & Sheri Gentile <gen9070@aol.com>
St. Peters, Mo USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 08:20 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Matthew, sorry to hear you all had a rough night, I know there are tons of people praying for you and your family, find comfort in knowing at least that fact. And nothing beats a rootbear float, especially when its 90 degress outside! Dont forget the Mr.Freeze pops too, you know the big box of 100!! Can't have hot weather without them! Well I hope you are feeling better this week. We will be praying for you. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 07:49 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt, the Men's Group of Island Lutheran Church of Hilton Head Island, SC prayed for you this morning. We do not know what your future holds but we know who holds your future. Jesus Christ holds you in His nail-scarred hands. He died for you, grants you forgiveness and eternal life and interceeds for you at the throne of your Heavenly Father. Matt, don't be afraid -- Jesus will take care of you and your wonderful, loving family. Blessings to you today, tomorrow and every day. John Mussitsch, Ford Allen, Jack Abernathy and George Spicer
George Spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
- Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 06:53 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew, Debbie and family....
I just have no words that could possibly "fix" this for you. I pray each day for a miracle and for peace and comfort to you all. Matt, you are one strong young man... you should feel very proud of yourself and know that you have made a huge difference in so many lives. Please trust that in Gods hands, if that is what he chooses, you will be safe and forever at peace. You will see your family again when the time is right....... try and get some rest and enjoy everyday as i am sure you already do.
Kelle, mommy to Houston, 5, dx pre-b ALL <Dudlebug19@aol.com>
Lubbock, TX US - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 08:56 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

The LORD says: "There is no God else beside me; a just God and a Saviour; there is none beside me. Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else." (Isaiah 45:21b-22)

Look unto Him, Matt! Look unto God! Look unto Your Saviour! He is God! There is none else!

"Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved." (Acts 4:12)

"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved." (Acts 16:31)

I'm praying for you, Matt. Look unto Him. Hear His words. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ!

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 08:16 PM (CDT)

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We think of you all constantly. I think we are vicariously living your sorrow. We have been close ourselves and hope that we have your strength should we need it too. Our hearts are with you--forever.
Jill Schield, Mom to Nick, age 11, AML '95 and '01 4 BMTs <jillschield@aol.com>
Chicago, IL US - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 07:05 PM (CDT)

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Matt~

I have no words of wisdom, but continue to be inspired by you and your family. My thoughts and prayers for comfort, and peace of mind are with you daily.
Teri Xavier <TEX612@aol.com>
Nashville, TN - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 05:14 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Matthew, I have been out of the country for the week and was sad to hear Matthew has been in pain today. I hope he (and you!) are more comfortable, and continue to find love, friendship and beauty in the days ahead, amid the heartbreak. You're so right - it's not about being "strong" or "positive". Who can always do that? Sometimes you must just do what you can.
Love,
Gloria McShane <gmcshane@btinternet. com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 05:05 PM (CDT)

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Hi I've been following your story. I hope the days of pain get fewer & far between. Your such a wonderful young man who I've become to admire. You have made a huge impact on so many lives. I guarantee there is much greater love for life throughout this harsh world we live in because of you & the strength you carry. We all love you and will always love you regardless of what GOD chooses.
Deedee <deonne10769@msn.com>
bowling green, ky usa - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 04:29 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and family,
I wish that I had some wonderful words of wisdom, but I don't know of anything meaningful to say. . . I continue to pray for a miracle, but am still praying for peace and comfort for all of you and for God's will to be done. You are one amazing, young man. Thank you for sharing your life with me and all the others out here that haven't ever met you personally. You are so strong, handsome and so caring about everyone else. I pray that I can be half the person that you are. I will continue to storm the heavens with prayer along with all these other people. God bless all of you. With love and many, many prayers,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 04:16 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family,
You do not know us but our thought prayers, tears, and fears are with you. Our Son, Riley, has ALL Diagnosed February 7, 2000 at 2 1/2. He is doing good, but we always fear its return. We wish for you peace and comfort. I truly believe God is with you. Matthew you are so brave and beautiful. If only in my lifetime I could have half the courage that you have! Hugs, love and so much Peace!
Kari Chase, mom to Riley DOD: 2/7/00; ALL <KariChase@Hotmail.com>
Saint Paul, MN - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 03:11 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family,
Continued thoughts and prayers for your family. I'm so happy to hear of all the time you are able to spend together. May God continue to bless you in every way possible.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 12:27 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt, Just want you to know that all of us at Agape Church in Little Rock, AR. are praying for you. We love you and Jesus loves you!
Judy Rockwell <Judy.Rockwell@agape-church.org.>
Little Rock, AR USA - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 09:38 AM (CDT)

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Matthew:

I only know you through your mother from work.I have always kept up with your progress. Please continue to keep the faith and God will comfort you!
Stacy Edwards <sedward6@ibius.jnj.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 09:38 AM (CDT)

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Hey Matt!!! I have been sitting here getting caught up on your mom's journal entries. I am glad to hear that you have had some pretty good days... some eventful days:) I am finally home from Confirmation camp and the mission trip. (Remember your days at Confirmation camp/retreats??) :) I am sorry that I missed you at church the last couple times you were there:( I was hoping to see you yesterday, but read that you were getting some much needed rest... maybe next week.:) I hope and pray that you have a great day today. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation..." Psalm 51:12
I saw this verse painted on the craft cabin at camp, and wanted to share it with you. It reminds me of how much hope we have in our resurrected Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. That there is joy in what he offers... which is life. How awesome for us as Christians! That we have life upon life forever with Him.

God Bless you Matt! We love and miss you very much!!
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 09:28 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matthew and the rest of the family, just wanted to let you know that we are still thinking about you guys and praying for you. I wish you comfort in these days ahead. We understand the feeling hungry, but eating causes the bloating and bloating makes you feel uncomfortable, here at our house. This continues to be a battle with one of our kids. Prayers for peace and comfort coming your way.
Margie, mom to Karissa, Anna, and William, adn wife to KRis for 18 1/2 glorious year! <gscrazy@juno.com>
Washington USA - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 09:26 AM (CDT)

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To the dear Hallemeier family,
Our thoughts and prayers continue to be with you all, especially brave, precious Matthew.....THE CHAMPION!
Debbie, thank you for your constant updates. I'm so sorry for the pain you & Dirk must be experiencing as parents. May God continue to give you strength.
Sending loads of love & cuddles your way, from across the ocean.
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family (ALL-KIDS) <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 08:32 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie, Dirk, & Matt,
I think of you all often, and pray for understanding and strength to get you through this pain.
All my love, gelene
Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
st. louis, mo - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 07:47 AM (CDT)

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Mathew, thanks for sharing the pictures of your family with all of us. I know how you feel when you are taking steroids. I am a kidney transplant recipient (17 years) and I have been on the steroids for that long. I thank God everyday for my transplant. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. My daughter and her family lives in Union, MO, so they are your neighbors.
Chloe Albert <FCA777@aol.com>
Decatur, IL USA - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 03:12 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family ~
I am so sorry to hear that Matthew is feeling uncomfortable today. I will say extra-extra prayers that he feels better tomorrow. The steroids just mess with our kids' appetites so intensely! Chad goes back on them tomorrow too. Thank you for finding the time and energy to keep us updated. Your family is in our thoughts constantly.
Sending our love and friendship ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 12:54 AM (CDT)

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Hi folks! Just checking in to see how you all are doing. I'm glad you are having some "quality" time together. We pray daily for more time for all of you, and hope Matt will be as comfortable as possible. Love you all!
Barb & John (Fackler) Cary
Barbara Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, Ca USA - Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 11:23 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, & Matthew,
I am sorry to learn that Matthew has been having some rough days. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and you can do some fun things with Matthew. We continue to pray that Jesus will give all of you his peace and to take away Matthew's pain. Thanks, Debbie, for keeping everyone informed about Matthew. You and Dirk are wonderful parents, and I admire your strength. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 11:20 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,Matthew & Family: I've been reading your journal and praying for Matthew every day. I know it has been a difficult journey for all of you and I'm saddend by this whole experience for you. I do know that the Lord is faithful concerning his word. He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. And that He will always be there for us.
Only God has all the answers as to this tragic situation. But our part is to trust Him. Just trust Him no matter how difficult it may be.
Debbie you are a wonderful mother. You amaze me the way you are there for your son. God bless you for your love and support. Our church is praying for Matthew to be healed. I know that He is able. God bless you and your family. Bill Kaber (Revelle's Pastor)
I would also like to say that I would be so glad to come by and visit or whatever you'd like. But I also know that Matthew has a church and pastor so I would not come over unless called upon. I just want to be sure that someone is there for Matthew who has talked to him about his salvation and other eternal questions. Let me know if I can be of service.

Bill Kaber <bkbill98@aol.com>
St.Charles, MO - Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 10:19 PM (CDT)

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I am so sorry for all you guys are going through.
I wish I could say something really uplifting and positive, but I am praying for you all.
Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page
c <chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 04:51 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matthew,
I loved looking at your photos! They are very beautiful. We are praying for you Matthew...you are an amazing young man. God Bless,
Christine (mom to Nicole)
Christine Apollo <nikki0294@aol.com>
E. Northport, NY USA - Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 03:03 PM (CDT)

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Matt and family,
Have a terrific week. I hope you continue cooking those great family concoctions. They sound terrific!

Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 08:49 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Listen to these words of truth concerning our Lord: "For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee." (Psalm 86:5)

We pray: Lord, You are good! You are ready to forgive! You are plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon You! Lord, forgive us of our sins. Cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Lord, You are good! We call upon You. Have mercy upon Matthew and his family. We pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 05:53 AM (CDT)

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Hey Deb ~

Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you tonight.

Love ya ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 01:35 AM (CDT)

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I am one of Matt's former teachers from the Heights. My wife and I (Ms. Johnson from the Heights) are praying for Matt and his family. Please let him know I am thinking about him.
Greg Schnatmeier <gsschnatmeier@psdr3.org>
Chesterfield, MO USA - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 11:39 PM (CDT)

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Matt and family
We are thinking about you and praying for you. We are glad to hear that Matt is feeling strong and is keeping busy at home. It sounds like you are all getting to spend quality time together as a family. Everyone misses you at the hospital. It is wonderful to see how inspiring your family is to so many people as shown in your guestbook. We will keep thinking about you and checking your updates. Love, Karen and Wendy
Wendy Kulp and Karen Rist <karen@looper.ws>
St. Louis, MO USA - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 09:22 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, continuing to say prayers that Matt continues to be relatively pain free and that you enjoy a lot more of the wonderful days it sounds like you have had recently. You and your family are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Sending lots of love from Rochester, NY.
Kelley and Lindsay Fitzgerald (ALL-Kids) <kelfitz@rochester.rr.com>
Rochester, NY - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 09:01 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
As always, your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Please know that many, many prayers are being lifted up for Matthew and for your entire family.
God Bless,

Lisa Agee (www.caringbridge.com/page/ross) <lagee67@hotmail.com>
Camden, AL - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 02:11 PM (CDT)

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Debbie ~
Matthew continues to amaze us with his strength too. And even if you don't realize it, you are also showing us courage and compassion and love of family, beyond words. You are also the amazing one.
I pray that this weekend is full of love, laughter, good food, more of Matthew's lemonade, and the Lord's ever present spirit within. Your family continues in our prayers. We are thinking of you all this weekend!!
Sending love ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 10:23 AM (CDT)

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Hey Matt its Kevin. Just got this page from Richard. Man its been so long since I talked to ya. Ms Melvins class would of been a lot more enjoyable if you were in there. its too bad you moved away. We could have kept in touch. You still play all those half life mods? It would be good to talk to you again or visit ya as richard previoulsly stated. if ya got time email me.
hope to hear from ya

Kevin Vossen <CAPTAINcarlos@cs.com>
Maryland Heights, MO USA - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 01:03 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt. It's me, your old friend Richard. It's been a while hasn't it. I got the adress for this site from a teacher in the Pattonville District. She had it forwarded to her. I miss yah man, and I'd be great to talk to yah or even visit if you wanted. I'm sorry we grew apart over highschool, but I'm still thinking about you. If you read this, then drop me a line.
Richard Deslauriers <tricky_dickie77@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 12:46 AM (CDT)

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matt and family , thank the lord, god is love, ron millie benji
Ron <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo u s a - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 12:14 AM (CDT)

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Matthew & Family:

I was so glad to read that you all have been spending so much time together and having fun together. Keep cooking great meals and watching good movies. If you can, try to go see Scooby Doo: The Movie. It is hilarious!

Praying for many more good times,
Elizabeth S. Wriker

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and conveniences, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
---Martin Luther King, Jr.

Elizabeth's Journey
Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes <Lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Friday, June 28, 2002 at 11:11 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Let us join with Peter in confessing to Jesus: "Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God." (John 6:68-69)

Praying for you and your family, Matt.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Friday, June 28, 2002 at 08:52 PM (CDT)

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Matt and family
We are so glad that all of these prayers from around the world are working and that you have more and more comfort and pleasure with each passing day. God is NOT forgetting about you - and we won't ever let Him.
We were so happy to see your smile in the recent pictures.
God bless you and your family. We miss you.

The Noss's
Joan Noss <jnoss@psdr3.org>
bridgeton, mo usa - Friday, June 28, 2002 at 12:50 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and family ~
Well it is HOT in Las Vegas! I am wondering if you are also having warm summer temps where you are? I hope you all are enjoying the day together and that Matthew is continuing to feel good.
You are in my thoughts and prayers today and always.
Love ~
Stacey and family
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, June 28, 2002 at 11:57 AM (CDT)

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Just wanted to send lots of love and **hugs**! I think about you all every day!
Kelli <kelli.petermeyer@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY - Friday, June 28, 2002 at 10:18 AM (CDT)

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Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
The Millers- Jeff, Kim, Jordan, Lindsay & Kayla <fivemillerz@aol.com>
- Friday, June 28, 2002 at 10:11 AM (CDT)

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Hello Matthew & Family,
Your family photos look terrific! I downloaded one for my computer wallpaper, and every time I look at you all, I offer up a prayer for peace and comfort. Also, when coworkers come by and ask who you are, I share your story and ask for their prayers too. (Networking is awesome!)

Matthew, I hope you realize just how many lives you have touched, family and friends, schoolmates, and total strangers like me. All of us reach out with love to you. The greatest gift our good Lord gave us is this mysterious thing called 'love' that binds us together. Please know that YOU ARE LOVED! (Debbie, keep some of that for you too!)

Your cyberfriend in VA-Judy
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Friday, June 28, 2002 at 10:09 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matt, Dirk, and Family,
I was sent this quote today and I thought it was a good quote for all of you.
If God brings you to it - He will bring you through
> it.
>
> Lord I love You and I need You, come into my heart,
> Today.
> For without You I can do nothing.
>I am glad to hear that Matt is doing so well.
You are in my prayers.

Anne LaBarge <Lavigne2@aol.com>
st louis, mo USA - Friday, June 28, 2002 at 07:57 AM (CDT)

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Just wanted you to know that we've been thinking about you and praying for your family daily. I found a box of old pictures yesterday. There were some cute ones of Julie, Christopher, and Matthew. Many had Daddy in them. It seems like just yesterday that the kids would sit on his lap, and he'd sing one of his favorite songs to them. I found a cute drawing Julie made of me - complete with a big blue bellybutton and forehead. Hope you are continueing to have good days. We love you. Brian, Kim, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 11:29 PM (CDT)

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hi matt glad you had a good weekend , what a goodlooking family. thanks debbie for the email , we can appreate you wanting to spend all your time with matt and your family. we love you all and continue to pray without seassing.may god bless your family and keep matt in his loveing arms. love and prayers always..... ron millie benji
ron <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton , mo usa - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 09:38 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
It's so good to hear that you are feeling good. I thought you looked great in your pictures...a fine looking family!
Just wanted to let you guys know that we're thinking of you and hoping that this is a good night.
Hugs and prayers,

Anne, mom to Erin 4, dx ALL <ob828@aol.com>
- Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 08:47 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

We pray: Dear Father, You are the Father of mercies. You are the God of all comfort. We ask You to comfort Matt and his family during this time of tribulation. We ask You for mercy. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 07:04 PM (CDT)

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Glad to hear the gang is all together....Matthew and family, just by living each day to the fullest requires strength. Keep sharing with each other....your laughter and your tears. God bless.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL KIDS
emmie <mmoxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 04:40 PM (CDT)

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I got your website through another that I check regularly. I just pray for you and your family, that you will continue to make memories together and live one day at a time. Continue to be strong and faith filled. God Bless.
Cheryl <reaganjp@aol.com>
- Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 03:11 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
I got back from my son's wedding Tuesday night and went straight to my computer to visit Matthew's web site. I was so happy to read he has been feeling so well and having some wonderful times with his family. My heart aches for you though knowing how much pain your are in as you face the coming days. I am so glad you have found comfort in having somone to talk to. Matthew looks so sweet,I love all the new pics. Bram would relate though about the pred and full face. He still has it form his pred days and also hates it! Wish I could help but I'm here anyway if you need me.
Love,
Linda
Linda lewis <annhope2000@yahoo.com>
grass Valley, Ca. U.S. - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 02:56 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and family,
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Your strength is an inspiration, and I hope that you will continue to have days filled with love.
Karin, mom to Christine, pre-B ALL <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio 44017 - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 08:44 AM (CDT)

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Hello Matthew! Thank you for allowing me to "meet" you through your web page. You are very kind to share your journey with total strangers, and to allow us to pray for you and your family. I pray that you feel God's love for you through the prayers being said on your behalf. Your journey is not an easy one but I pray that you will feel His Love, His Strength, and His Peace as you walk the road before you.

Like many others that have come to "know" you a little through your pages, I live far away from you. I live in CA but am familiar with where you live ... my grandparents had a restaurant called Dohack's that, for over 70 years, was at Lemay and Lindbergh in South Counties. They lived in South Counties too, not too far from where you live.

Thank you for allowing your Mom to share your pictures and your journey with us, you are a strong young man who is an inspiration to many, many people. And I hope it brings you some comfort to know that there are people all over the world who care about you and are praying for you.

GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU MATTHEW

Bonnie

Bonnie Pixley <Grma2Three@yahoo.com>
Templeton, CA USA - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 05:41 AM (CDT)

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It is always so hard to understand Matt but our prayers are with you son and your family . Our heart is lifted knowing that when your battle is won you will be with God and your reward will be awesome. Battle on young warrior and know that you are loved!! Rick and Joan Bouknight ^i^
Rick and Joan Bouknight <RickB813@aol.com>
Bradenton, Fl. USA - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 02:56 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt & Family,

I heard about your website via the Ebay Giving Board and just wanted you to know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Your pictures show the love that your family shares and that is most important. May God bless all of you and provide you comfort each day.

Donna Anacker <azdka@cox.net>
Phoenix, AZ USA - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 01:26 AM (CDT)

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Your strength and wonderful family are an honor to read about. You are in our prayers daily, and thank Matthew for allowing us to see the pictures! They are beautiful! God's blessings to you!
Debi, Andrea and Zachary <debi0115@aol.com>
Westland, MI USA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 10:39 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and Family,

I chat with Maren (mom of CJ and Tabi) on the Ebay Giving Board. I was moved by your story. You are in my prayers, may God surround you with his Angels.
Elizabeth Percey <esperfect@earthlink.net>
Bennington, VT U*S*A* - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 10:35 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

"He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: but they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:29-31)

We pray: Dear Father, give power to Matt and his family. Increase their strength. May they mount up with wings as eagles. May they run, and not be weary. May they walk, and not faint. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 09:19 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and Family,
Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you all daily. I am glad to see that you are all enjoying your time together at home!
Cullan Couleas Friend of Julies <cullancouleas@yahoo.com>
Murray, KY USA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 04:34 PM (CDT)

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I hope that Matthew and you all are having a good day today and also for many more good days to come. I enjoyed seeing the pictures....you all are a beautiful family on the inside and out :) I continue to pray for Matthew & Family throughout each day. God Bless
Susan <Tooncie1@aol.com>
AL - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 03:58 PM (CDT)

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What a beautiful family you have! I can tell there's lots of love and support. Thank you for sharing the pictures with us all. I am glad that you are able to find the support that you need. It is a tough journey that no one can even imagine. My prayers continue to be with you and your family.


Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 02:55 PM (CDT)

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Great pictures! Thanks for sharing them with us. You continue to be on our minds and in our prayers.
Al and Mary Heinbokel <mheinbok@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 02:38 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and family ~
Matthew is absolutely gorgeous! He looks wonderful, and I am so glad he is letting you share these new photos on his webpage! I am also happy to hear that your whole family is under one roof, and able to spend some time together. Bill and I actually watched "Black Hawk Down" (without our kids) on the same night you all did.
We are keeping your family in our thoughts and prayers, and wishing you many more loving days together.
With love ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 12:16 PM (CDT)

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What a terrific looking family! Thanks for sharing the pictures. You all remain in our thoughts and prayers.
Sheri (Ashton's mom) from Ped-Onc <eradik8cancer@aol.com>
Vienna, VA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 11:41 AM (CDT)

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your pictures look great, thank you for this page,love robyn
robyn delgado <yodelgado6@aol.com>
san diego, ca usa - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 11:10 AM (CDT)

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Great pictures!!! As Matt's 4th grade teacher, I can still see that 10 year old face in a 16 year old body. : )
I did enjoy seeing Matt's baby picture!! : )
Take care,
Robin Porzelt
Robin Porzelt <porzelt@mindspring.com>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 10:07 AM (CDT)

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DEBBIE,
I AM SO GLAD TO C THE LAST LAB REPORT, AND I THANK THE LORD SO MUCH EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR WHAT HE IS DOIN FOR MATT AND U GUYS, ALL THESE GOOD DAYS R SUCH A BLESSING. AND I KNOW MATT IS IN FOR MORE GOOD THINGS. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR ALL THE PRAYERS THAT HE IS GETTING CAUSE MYSELF IS ONE TO NEVER FORGET PRAYER CHANGES THINGS. GIVE MATT A BIG HUG FROM ME AND RONNIE AND BENJ AND TELL HIM WE WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR HIM. AND IM SO GLAD U GUYS R ALL GETTING OUT TOGETHER.

LOVE & PRAYERS
MILLIE

MILLIE REVELLE <COUNTRYGRL1107@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON, MO USA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 09:13 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, when things get out of my control, I always think of a verse from the bible that says something like "the Lord never gives us more than we can handle", and in your last post, I felt like the lord was giveing you and your family some extra time with Matthew for whatever the reasons may be. So enjoy them as you have been! And we will all keep praying for more good days! Love, Shannon and Ervin PS.Wouldnt it be great for Matthew to be able to see this years 4th of July fireworks!
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 07:41 AM (CDT)

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Dear folks, I've been gone for a couple of weeks, and guess I missed some of your pictures. Wish I'd seen the baby pics. I'm sure they were sweet! I'm so glad you update the pics as well as the information. I don't know how you find the time to do it all so well! I've copied all the history, so I can read it at my leisure, since there's so much to read. I'm so glad you write daily. I feel like I'm getting to know my cousins better through your updates. I haven't seen you kids since you were pre-schoolers, so I'm sure you don't remember me at all! I borrowed your mom's wedding dress when I married, then moved to Calif.
It's wonderful, getting to know you and your family. I'm so sorry though, that it has to be because of Matt's health. You are all in our prayers, and thoughts, constantly, and we wish only the best for you. I hope you get lots more time to enjoy your handsome son, and he is comfortable enough to enjoy you. We love and admire you all!
Barb & JOhn Cary
Barbara (Fackler) Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, Ca USA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 12:46 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family:

I'm so glad to hear that you all are spending so many good times together. The pictures look great! You're right. Matthew does look really well. As a transplant patient myself, I remember all too well that chipmunk-esque face. It wasn't very long ago that I looked that way too. It reminded my family of when I was a baby. :o) Keep enjoying one another's company and hug everyone for all of us out in "cyberspace".

With love and prayers,
Elizabeth S. Wriker

"Though our memories of today will soon be yesterdays, they will forever live in our tomorrows."
---Isabel Urbano

Elizabeth's Journey
Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 12:22 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie, Dirk, and Matthew,
I am happy to hear that Matthew is feeling good, and you can do some things together. I know this has to be so hard for all of you, and I am glad you found a grief counselor to talk to. We send our love and prayers. Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach @hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 12:11 AM (CDT)

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I am so glad to read of the wonderful week-end you and the family had together..I pray that God gives you and the family more wonderful days together. Those pictures are the best. Matt you are so handsome...Keep smiling bud and enjoy each and every moment. If I can be of any help please feel free to e-mail or call me. (839-9913) anytime. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.
Love, Mary Stephens
Mary Stephens <fitzmary@yahoo.com>
Florissant, M USA - Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 11:32 PM (CDT)

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I am so glad you seem to have found a great grief counselor, this has to be so hard on the whole family.
Matthew looks great in the photos, he really does.
which as you said, must make it all the harder to accept....

Chris
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 11:03 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

The psalmist writes: "I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah. For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him. Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah." (Psalm 32:5-7)

We pray: LORD, we acknowledge our sin. We do not hide our iniquity. We confess our transgressions unto You. Forgive the iniquity of our sin. We pray unto You in a time when You may be found. May the floods of great waters not come nigh unto Matt and his family. Be their hiding place. Preserve them from trouble. Compass them about with songs of deliverance. In the name of Jesus, our Lord and Saviour, we pray. Amen.

Enjoyed the beautiful pictures of you and your family. You are all remembered in my prayers. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 10:03 PM (CDT)

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Thanks for posting the pics! I'm glad that Matthew agreed to them. They are a treasure! I can see his spirit and personality shining in them! May he continue to feel well enough to enjoy time with his family!
Missy from Ped-onc <missy.layfield@cfu.net>
Cedar Falls, IA - Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 10:03 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie, Dirk & Matthew! Just wanted to say how wonderful to see your family in church the last 2 Sundays. We look at all of you and so much admire your strength when you have so much to face. It's so true that "if God leads you to it, God will lead you through it". Thanks for sharing the cute pictures of Matthew! We just keep praying for God to surround you with His loving care, strength and peace! Love, Charlene and Wayne Clark
Charlene Clark <ckclark@accessus.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 08:38 PM (CDT)

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Hi Guys,
You have been on my mind, and I just wanted to send my love and prayers.
Gelene
Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
st. louis, mo - Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 07:33 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie Dirk and Matt,
just a little note...we are all out here...praying like mad...you are such special people. May God give you many more weekends like this one. We love you guys.
Big (((HUGS)))
Sonia ....Jakobs mommy (ALL LIST) <sonja_cox@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 05:10 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, Debbie and Family,
I continue to check on you a few times daily, and pray even more. I'm so glad to read of Matthew being able to enjoy the time over the weekend with everyone. I so admire Matt's courage, strength and dignity. What wonderful pictures of when you were young. Such a little doll, which you continue to be!! Please remember we are still out here holding you up, so don't be afraid to lean!! God loves each of you so much, and so do I.
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 08:55 AM (CDT)

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i give the lord so much praise for what he is dien for Matt right know, u all deserved such a good a special time like that. and i know that the loed has just begun. the devil is gonna loose this fight and our Matt is gonna be the big winner. i trust that and believe more. ((((PHIl:4;13)))
Millie Revelle <countrygrl1107@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo usa - Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 01:11 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, and Matthew,
I am sorry I have not written lately, but we went to Disney World. We had dinner with Chris and Michelle in Epcot and had a really nice time. I am glad you had a good weekend. I appreciate you keeping everyone updated on Matthew. I am sure it is hard to write about it. We continue to pray for all of you. May God give you peace. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary The pictures of Matthew are adorable!
Susan Roach <susan909roach @hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 12:25 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt, We pray every day that the Lord will bring you comfort. It was always a great day when you came to visit Jason. Your smile lit up the house! Megan still talks about how funny you are. We pray that you continue to have good days. You are blessed with such a wonderful, loving family. You are all in our thoughts and prayers.
The Bogle Family, Jerry,Pam, John, Jason,Megan&JJ <mbogle@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO St. Louis - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 10:37 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,We are so happy you have been feeling fairly well and enjoying time with your family.It's great you got out to see the movie you had been wanting to see.Your baby pictures are so cute:)You are always in in our thoughts.I wake up each morning thinking about you, and the last thing I do before bed is read your web site. We're always praying!!Love, The Salems
Steve,Lisa, and Catie Salem <stevesalem@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 09:24 PM (CDT)

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Hello Hallemeier Family!

Even though I haven't signed the guestbook in a few days, I've been checking in each day looking for journal updates. I am so glad to hear that you all had a wonderful weekend. May God continue to bless you, Matt, and your family with comfort and love.

~*~Elizabeth~*~

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."
---Eleanor Roosevelt


Elizabeth's Journey

Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 07:03 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

"For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses." (1 Timothy 6:10-12)

We pray: Dear Father, may we flee evil things. May we follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and meekness. May we fight the good fight of faith. May we lay hold on eternal life. Have compassion upon Matthew and his family. Give them strength to continue the good fight. In the Name of our resurrected Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 06:39 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew, Debbi & Dirk, and family,

Just can't get you off of our minds. I finally told Chad about Matt. It was so hard. He left for Church camp today with his sister and he will be having prayer for Matthew in his small groups that meet throughout the day. He like me doesn't know how exactly to pray for Matt right now. We know how to ask for healing and comfort but it's so hard when it's a child like Matt. Dr. King dropped us a note and called him an amazing kid and that's exactly what we think when we read your history daily. There are some days that I am afraid to check his history and I just want to keep praying that he doesn't suffer. I know that Jesus can ease that suffering through everyone's prayers and all. You guys have so much now to deal with so we will also pray for you & Dirk. We are trying to keep the faith (like Chad always says) and some days he had and has a faith that can move mountains. He was really upset the other night and kept saying NO WAY, NO WAY! He will pray and pray and pray. I wish I could share with you someday what his sister Holly wrote to him. It was 4 pages long off of the computer. I cried & cried, & cried. She to is amazing. We love you guys and will covet you with our prayers and thoughts.

Love-N-Christ,
Chris McDowell
Chris McDowell <christymcd@yahoo.com>
Sidell, IL - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 06:26 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie--

I'm so glad you had a great weekend. Every day is a gift, and it seems you are receiving quite a few...Thinking of all of you and praying....I hope my last e-mail didn't overwhelm you! I would love to see the photos. Give Matthew a hug from "another boys Mommy." Love, Barbara Reid
Barbara Reid <jbreid777@aol.com>
Bakersfield, CA USA - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 04:37 PM (CDT)

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Thinking of you today Matthew (and every day) as you go through with your bloodwork. I'm sure it's not something you want to do, but just gotta do. I can't wait to see some updated family pictures. It sounds like you all had a GREAT weekend! I hope that you all celebrate each and every day together.

Love & hugs,
Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 02:53 PM (CDT)

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Glad to hear you had a good weekend. Those are some great pictures! You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Karin, mom to Christine <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 01:32 PM (CDT)

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Just wanted to say Hi and let Matthew and his family know I am thinking of them...I hope thinks are still going well at home...I know each moment is a special one..I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers Matthew.. Enjoy each day for that is really all any of us really have..
Love and may God bless you each and everyday.
Mary Stephens RN (SLCH) (night nurse)
Mary Stephens <fitzmary@yahoo.com>
Florissant, Mo USA - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 11:31 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family ~
I am thrilled to read about your wonderful family weekend. Praise the Lord! I am also happy to hear that your sis Kim and your mom got to visit with you also. Your family is truly blessed! Matthew continues in our nightly prayers from afar, and we hope for many more good days ahead for him and for all of you.
Take care.
Sending much love ~
Stacey and family
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 10:44 AM (CDT)

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I originally found your web site while I was doing research for my best friend's BMT. She has CML and is going into the hospital in about 2 weeks.

But now, I just like to check on you all to see how you're doing. I was so glad to read that you had a great weekend. And you are right, it doesn't matter how many blasts Matt has, only how he feels -- physically and emotionally. He sounds like such a strong kid -- I can only imagine how blessed you have felt to have him in your lives for the past 16 years. My thoughts are with you always.

Erynn <erynnma@yahoo.com>
Boston, MA USA - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 10:25 AM (CDT)

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mom to quito-12 yrs old dx 2/97 pre b all. ot jan 2000, relapse may 2000, relapse oct 2001, relapse june 21 2002, and to 3 other kids, married to frank 15 yrs.
My prayers are with you, thank you for this page. i'll eat some good mexican food for you guys. i reallly like cs lewis's comments on suffering, he ever so eloquently reminds us that even the greatest men in the bible question why? he so warmly points out the difference in knowing the answers and having to ask the questions. love to you robyn
robyn delgado <yodelgado6@aol.com>
san diego, ca usa - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 03:22 AM (CDT)

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It was great to hear you all had a good weekend together. My wife and I check in daily to see how things are going, and we pray for your family for strength and peace every day.

www.caringbridge.org/ga/palmer
William Moise <moisew@bellsouth.net>
Stone Mountain, GA USA - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 12:40 AM (CDT)

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Matthew & Family,

I'm so happy to hear that you all had a wonderful time over
the weekend. Our prayers are still being lifted up for you.
May God grant you all strength, peace and happiness. God Bless you all.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 11:56 PM (CDT)

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Debbie & Matt,
what beautiful pictures you have up now! Matt what a cutie patootie you were when you were little, and now you are so handsome! I hope you guys enjoyed your weekend with family. Give each other big hugs and kisses. Please know that you are in my prayers each night and that I check in on you each day........ stay strong
Kelle, Mommy to Houston, dx pre-b all, 5.15.00 <Dudlebug19@aol.com>
Lubbock, TX USA - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 10:28 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie
I love the pictures! What a gorgeous boy! You are all constantly in my thoughts & prayers.
Please give Matt "THE CHAMPION", a GIANT cuddle from his friends Down Under!
Loads of love & cuddles from,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family (ALL-KIDS) <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 10:12 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie-

What beautiful baby pictures! Thank you for sharing them. Sending lots of love to all of you-- I'm holding you all so close in my heart.
Annie Thomas <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 10:01 PM (CDT)

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When I first learned about this website I thought I would save it for my aunt who is a leukemia survivor. She now volunteers in a cancer center and is always interested in people who have gone through the very same things she has. I thought she could explain some of the information to me. What I have now found myself doing is checking each day to see what type of day Matthew has had. I am thinking of your family daily even though we have never met.
Lisa <educ8n@aol.com>
Maryland Heights, MO USA - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 09:17 PM (CDT)

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To Matt and family, I come here every day to check on you, Matt, and wrote a note a few weeks ago. We are friends of Gail and Mary Lou Smothers and my husband plays golf with your grandpa Don. Actually, he played once with your dad when he played with the group! I have a mirrored plaque on my vanity that I read each morning as I get ready for the day that I'd like to share with you. It is called "Old Preacher's Greeting to a New Day" and goes like this: "Lord, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that you and I together can't handle." I can't tell you how many times that has had special meaning to me as I read it, and maybe it will for you as well. We don't know you personally, but pray for you daily and realize how truly blessed you are that you all know the Lord and obviously know how to lean on Him. Hang in there. We have a wonderful God and He will give us strength when we think it's impossible. God bless you and your family. Baxter and Peggy Tate
Peggy Tate <bandptate@aol.com>
Lake St. Louis, MO USA - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 08:29 PM (CDT)

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hi matt and family,the pictures are great !!! we sure would like to come out and see you, but we understand tottaly how important it is to put matt first , please ask matt if he would like us to come vist,if not thats ok,we are praying everyday for matt.he is a fighter !! we love you . all !!! ron millie benji
Ron Revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgheton , mo 63044 - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 07:12 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and your whole family has been on our prayer list at church (First United Methodist)for the past two years, but you all have been especially in our hearts and prayers during this past year as Hazel (Grandmother) has kept us up-to-date in our Disciple class. I also work with Becky and Dale at Jefferson and keep updated there too. May God bless you all.
Alice Kniker <akniker@aol.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 06:46 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and family,

I am a friend of Andrew/Susan Colletti and have used the link in his website to check in with you all over the past few weeks. I have been praying for you Matthew that you would sense God's presence each and every day and that His grace and Mercy would be new and evident to you each morning as you rise and every night as you go to bed. None of us know the number of days that we have been given here on the earth only God knows our destiny, it would seem that we should all live just as you are now. Setting priorities to be with the people we love the most and taking time to go to the movies or just lay on the bed and nap together. Never underestimate the plans that God has for you and your family. The lessons that God is trying to teach all of us from your example of courage and love is inspiring. I want to spend time with my children and just hang out and go to the movies and just be with them because of you and your family. Thank you for sharing and encouraging us with your example of love. Praying for God to move mightily on your behalf and that you would not have that pain.
Paula W Findley <Bd3mom@aol.com>
Myrtle Beach, SC USA - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 03:38 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie ~
I just took a look at Matthew's baby pictures, and you were right!! What a cutie-patootie!! I didn't realize he was a redhead!! What a doll! And he has grown up into such a handsome young man too.
As always, your family is in our thoughts and prayers today.
I hope today is a good day for Matthew.
God Bless you all ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 02:41 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Within the space of a few short days this past week, Cardinal Nation has lost two special people: Jack Buck, an older man stricken with illnesses, who died after six months in the hospital; and Darryl Kile, a young man with great health who died in his sleep in a hotel bed. Death doesn't discriminate, does it?

Job spoke these words of truth: "Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble. He cometh forth like a flower, and is cut down: he fleeth also as a shadow, and continueth not." (Job 14:1-2)

Job also spoke these words of comfort: "For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: and though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me." (Job 19:25-27)

While the old and young around us die, may you and your family be strengthened and encouraged by the awesome truth that your Redeemer lives! Be not afraid. Only believe. We shall see God! Our eyes shall soon behold Him!

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 01:32 PM (CDT)

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I hope you are all enjoying the weekend together. Prayers are with you~
God bless,
Anne (Erin's Mom) <ob828@aol.com>
- Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 01:23 PM (CDT)

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I want to thank you for being so diligent in writing in the journal entries...thank you all for showing us your strength and courage and love for one another. Also, the importance of all the little things in life that we take for granted, like watching a movie together and eating at the table as a family....My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Kathy Charlton Mom to Robert DX ALL pre b/BMT pending 7/09/02 <ckcharlton@aol.com>
WPB, FL US - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 10:42 AM (CDT)

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Thinking of all of you and holding you tight in prayer.
Sheri (Ashton's mom) <eradik8cancer@aol.com>
Vienna, VA USA - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 09:54 AM (CDT)

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I hope you are having a wonderful weekend with all your family. I am lifting you all up in prayers. God Bless!!


Anita Moore <anitamo@charter.net>
- Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 09:40 AM (CDT)

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Hello to all, I am glad to hear you are shareing some meals together at todays hectic pace. I still look forward to the days when my kids can cut their own meat!!!Right now we feel like black-jack dealers dishing out food and second helpings to our four monster hungry kids. It sure sounds like you have a great neighborhood in which you reside, with friends like that, it sure is nice to have those meals, I know!!! Well I hope Matthew continues to have more good days than bad. We are keeping you all in our prayers. Love, Shannon and Ervin. PS. Just had a thought, has Matthew ever had a ride in a limo? Might be something fun to do.....call me. A Family up the street, that is their family business. Maybe we can arrange something.
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, mo USA - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 03:22 AM (CDT)

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Just a note to let you know we are thinking of you and praying for you. I love to read about how you are spending your days together, as a family -- I pray that daily you will experience blessings in the midst of a very difficult time.
Andrew and Susan Colletti <ascolletti@juno.com>
Awaiting 7/02/02 transplant in Seattle, WA - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 12:47 AM (CDT)

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Hoping you have a terrific weekend and enjoy the gorgeous weather. Thinking about you constantly and praying.
Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio 44017 - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 01:18 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, you and your family are in my prayers. I am in awe of your strength and faith. Have a wonderful weekend--may God bless you all.
Janie (mom to Patrick, relapsed ALL. From the ALL-KIDS list) <janie624@earthlink.net>
San Jose, CA USA - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 12:14 PM (CDT)

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Good morning Debbie ~
Thanks so much for your detailed update. I continue to feel so honored to be able to share in the details of your family's daily routines. You are all in my thoughts every single day. I am glad you're taking a trip out so Matthew can see "The Sum of All Fears" - I know he's been wanting to see that movie. I took my kids to see Scooby Doo yesterday. I am also so happy to read about the thoughtfulness and generosity of all your friends there. It's obvious what a special family you are!!
Have a wonderful weekend ~ we are keeping darling Matthew in our prayers ~
Love~ Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 12:06 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, Debbie & Family~
You amaze me with your strength, love & faith. May God continue to hold you in his hands and guide you through your journey.

I hope you enjoy your movie & family time this weekend. And, I hope that you all get some much desevered peaceful sleep.

((((HUGS))))

www.caringbridge.com/fl/collinburke
Shanon, Mom to Collin, dx 1/17/01 w/preB ALL <smburke1001@cs.com>
Eustis, FL USA - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 12:06 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, I'm thinking of you and Matthew and hoping for some rest and peace for you this weekend. And, I'm looking forward to the pictures!

Patty (mom to James, 22, dx ALL 4/97)
Patty <feist@colorado.edu>
Lyons, CO - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 08:28 AM (CDT)

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Thinking of you, and hope you all have a pleasant, restful weekend.
Hugs,
Jane, mom to K.J., 18, T-cell ALL dx. 11/01
Jane Freestone <jwfreestone@earthlink.net>
Silver Spring, MD USA - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 07:27 AM (CDT)

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Hi to Matthew and Family, I love that you are keeping us updated through this website--Thank you. Can't wait to see some "old" pictures....no doubt you were a "cutie". Look at you now! Hope this weekend holds some more good times with each other. You and your family continue to be in my heart and prayers.
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL KIDS
emmie <mmoxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL USA - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 06:20 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie,
We look forward to seeing the photos of Matthew when he was little. My prayers and God's stength are with you both.
Love, Christine (mom to Nicole)
Christine Apollo <nikki0294@aol.com>
E. Northport, NY USA - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 04:15 AM (CDT)

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Wishing you all a good weekend, and that Matthew you feel better, we pray daily for you and your family.wishing you peace Michele,Barry and Tessa in Canada.

Michele Lafantaisie <samgd11@attcanada.ca>
OTTAWA, ON. Canada - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 02:00 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie ~
I can't wait to see Matthew's photos. I can already tell he must've been a beautiful baby,'cause baby, look at him now! He's gorgeous! I am keeping you close in my heart and in my prayers. Especially that Matthew can be relaxed and comfortable and continue to find pleasure in each new day. Your family has become part of my daily routine also ~ it means a lot to be able to check in with you regularly. Thank you again for keeping us posted, I know how precious your time is.
Sending love and prayers ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 01:14 AM (CDT)

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Hi Deb, I just wanted to drop you a line and let youknow that I 've been thinking of you all. I wish I could have met you in person. Who knows, maybe Anna and Matthew could have given each other strength to carry on and face the world- despite their imperfections. I will continue to pray for good tomorrows so youcan gather all the happy memories you can.
I have found strength in the words to an old familiar hymn: His Eye Is on the Sparrow." THis was playing in the background when we were told Karissa would more than likely be born dead. She just celebrated her 15 birthday and 7 years and 4 months in remission. He will watch over you as He has watched over all the other kids. Hang tight to your Faith, and you will be able to face all those tomorrows.
Margie, Mom to Karissa, dx'd ALL 1/95.OT 8/25/97, age 15; Anna, 12 with a lot of medical problems all her own; B.J. 9 1/2,alos dealing with his medical problems, and wife to Kris for 18 1/2 years <gscrazy@juno.com>
Ft. Lewis, Wa USA - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 12:52 AM (CDT)

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Oh mom, I am so sorry for all this.
I'm praying for you guys.
Chris
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Friday, June 21, 2002 at 10:50 PM (CDT)

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Hello Matthew ! Thinkin' bout you lots. I definitely think you should post some more pics of Matt, I'd love to see. :)By the way, how old are you Matthew ?

Love always Shannon from Vancouver
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 08:18 PM (CDT)

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dear matt. may the lord keep you and your family safe in his loveing arms.god is love ,and without love we have nothing.thru christ and only thru christ is the only way we can make.just like the poem you have , footprints. he is carrying matt now when he needs it most . god will make a way for peace and understanding.some day youll understand why this all happened,love and prayers allways .. ron millie benji
ron revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton , mo usa - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 05:54 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

"It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD." (Lamentations 3:22-26)

We pray: Dear Lord, we thank You for Your mercies. We thank You for Your compassions. We thank You for Your faithfulness. We hope in You. We quietly wait for Your salvation. Be good unto Matt and unto his family. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 04:40 PM (CDT)

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WELL HELLO TO MATT AND EVERYONE, JUST WANTED TO SAY HEY AND TO LET U KNOW THAT OURS PRAYERS R STILL WITH THE FAMILY, WE MISS U GUYS ALOT AND HOPFULLY MATT MIGHT HAVE A GOOD FEW MINUTES SO THAT WE CAN POP IN FOR JUST A MINUTE AND SAY HI. OUR CHURCH IN REALLY KEEPING GOING A REAL STRONG PRAYER THRU THE WHOLE CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY AND WED. NIGHT. AND I BELIEVE PRAYER CHANGES THINGS. AND BESIDES I KNEW MATT SO GOOD WHEN HE WAS HANGING OUT OVER HERE AND HE IS ONE TOUGHT COOKIE. AND YES DEBBIE HE IS A CUTIE, I THOUGHT THAT THE DAY BENJ BROUGHT HIM OVER. AND I HAVE THE NEATEST PICYURE OF MATT, BENJI, & KEVIN BOXDORFER PLAYING POOL IN THE BASEMENT AND HE WAS THE CUTIE OF THE BUNCH. WELL DEBBIE JUST REMEMBER THAT WE R HERE FOR ANY NEEDS FOR YOU AND THE FAMILY.

LOVE & PRAYERS
RONNIE,MILLIE & BENJ, MISSY
MILLIE REVELLE <COUNTRYGRL1107@AOL.COM>
bRIDGETON, MO USA - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 04:05 PM (CDT)

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Matthew continues to be such a warrior. His spirit inspires all of us out here in the cyber world. Debbie, thank you for keeping us updated through Matthew's journal. I appreciate you making the time for us. I check Matthew's site EVERY morning after I log in at work...it's just a routine. I find comfort once I have "visited" Matthew by reading your update. It triggers a lot of emotions for me...and hits real close to home. I can tell you are ALL celebrating each and every day. Your courage and strength Debbie is admirable. Thank you for sharing your family with us.

With hugs,
Vicki Hoffman
Sis to ^i^ Mike Hunter
www.carinbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 02:37 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
You are a true hero. Everyone can learn a lesson about guts and courage from you. Hope your pain goes away and you feel better. Stay strong.
Bo Mathis(father of DOUBLE M)
www.caringbridge.com/fl/champ <saveit24@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, Florida - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 12:11 PM (CDT)

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I will continue to Pray for Matt, to give him comfort. I hope everything works out for you and your family.



Maddy Noss <jNoss@psdr3.org>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 11:47 AM (CDT)

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I hope Matthew is having a better day today...and I hope yall have a good weekend all together :) Still Praying...God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
AL - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 11:37 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Although I do not know you personally, I am a good friend of your Aunt Kim in Rolla. You have all been in my prayers since she first told me about Matt's diagnosis. I hope that the good thoughts and prayers your receive will somehow comfort you.
Merilee Wilsdorf <cobalt@rollanet.org>
Rolla, MO USA - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 10:13 AM (CDT)

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Matt and Family,

I still remember the first day you walked into Children's Hospital. It seems like only yesterday. You have been through so much since that day and it never seemed fair. You have been such a strong person and have been inspiration for me. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday. Please call me at anytime if you need anything. I would love to come visit soon. I will try to call and see if that would work. God bless you all.
Anne LaBarge (LaVigne in case you don't know the new name) <lavigne2@aol.com>
st louis, mo USA - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 09:44 AM (CDT)

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Dear friends,
We just wanted to remind you that we are lifting Matthew & your family up in our prayers daily. We are so sorry that you're going through this.
May God bless you with the peace & comfort that only He can give you.
The Hicks Family <khicks6@mindspring.com & www.caringbridge.com/al/sarahanne>
Birmingham, AL - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 09:15 AM (CDT)

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Dear Mathew,
I'm one of Julie's many sorority sisters that have been keeping track of you through this wonderful website. Through the stories that your mom has been posting I believe that you are a courageous young man and that you and your family share a special love and bond that nothing, including an illness, could ever tear apart. I feel that God is by your side as well as your family's helping in many ways through these difficult times. My family and I pray for you all. Stay strong Mathew and God bless you and your family!

Sincerely,
Sarah Broughton

Sarah Broughton <sarahbroughton2002@yahoo.com>
Murray, KY USA - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 09:04 AM (CDT)

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"May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance. Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way." (II Thess. 3:5,16)

Hoping & praying your weekend is restful and full of fun and sunshiny all mixed up together!
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 08:04 AM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family: I've been without a computer for awhile but just wanted to let you know you're all in our thoughts and prayers.
Janet Guild (Nettie's mom) <tguil001@earmyu.com>
warner robbins, GA - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 08:03 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Hallemeier Family ~
We are thinking of you all and keeping you in our prayers. Even though we are miles apart, I hope you can feel the strength of our friendship and caring. Hope you are all getting good rest tonight. Take care.
With love ~
The Wadas
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 01:01 AM (CDT)

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Good night. We love you.
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 10:31 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Listen to this precious promise of Jesus: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life." (John 5:24)

Matt, hear His word! Believe on Him that sent Jesus!

We pray: Dear Father, we thank You for the promises found within the pages of Your Word. May Dirk, Debbie, Julie, Christopher, and Matt treasure them. We believe on You! We thank You for the gift of everlasting life. We thank You that as believers we have passed from death unto life. Give Matt and his family strength and grace to endure these difficult days. Fill their hearts with peace, hope, love, and joy. In Jesus' Name, we pray. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 07:45 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I have been trying to come up with something to say that will ease your heart and mind, but nothing seems good enough. There is not a day that goes by that I dont pray for your family and most importantly Matt. He has been through so much the past two years and yet he still can smile and make us laugh. It is not fair. If you need anything at all, even if its just to talk--call me
give matt a big hug for me
Mary Beck <megrant26@yahoo.com>
st charles, mo usa - Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 06:27 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Matthew, it's good to hear that Christopher will be off next week so he's with you during the day. And great that neighbours are bringing you food - being a Canadian living in England, I can tell you that my neighbours would not bring us meals in a million years! Maybe that's a strength of the old US of A. Always wishing for peace, comfort and some more fun times for you ... imagine how crowded your house would be now if all your concerned cyber-friends came popping out of the computer to join you.
Love from Gloria McShane, mother of Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
- Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 03:30 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeiers - my favorite family away from home,

Daniel and I took a walk yesterday around the old neighborhood. It's just not the same without the Halls! I remember when the parents had to drag us in at night because Jules, Chris, Matt, Doug, David, other kids and I would be playing kick-the-can and ghost-in-the-graveyard til all hours of the night. We used to have so much fun over here!

Like so many others, I've been checking Matthew's site daily. I feel so blessed to see the strength and love of your whole family through your journal entries every day. As someone who views Matthew's situation from the outside, I get so angry, and struggle to understand how this could possibly be a part of God's plan. Then I see Matthew's picture and know that YOU, Matthew, are stronger than anyone I know. You are my highest ideal for what chracter, love, and faith are all about. Thank you for setting an example for me to follow, and I will strive to model the path you've walked for as long as I live.

My family and I send our love and supports and we will all continue to pray that God will lay His healing hand upon your hearts, wrap you in His loving arms, and bring you peace as you spend time together. Especially since I've seen so much mentioned about COOKIES! That's an idea I can totally get behind!

I love you all dearly, and may God bless you all.
Love, Rebecca
Rebecca Francis <rebeccafrancis@yahoo.com>
Bridgeton, MO - Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 01:02 PM (CDT)

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DEBBIE,DIRK,MATT & FAMILY

JUST A VERY SHORT HELLO, BUT JUST TO LET U KNOW THAT U ALL R STILL IN OUR PRAYERS. WE THINK ABOUT U ALL DAY EVERY DAY, AND PRAYING THAT THE LORD IS GONNA GET U ALL THRU THIS:)
HEY MATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PHIL:4;13 IS MY MOST VERY FAVORITE VERSE IN THE BIBLE. AND I WASNT U TO ALWAYS THNK ABOUT IT. U MIGHT FEEL LIKE THE DEVIL HAS GOT U BUT WE R ALL NOT GONNA LET HIM WIN:( PHIL;4;13 IS THRU CHRIST ALL THING ARE POSSIBLE AND I BELIEVE THAT HE WILL GET U THRU THIS, IT MIGHT SEEM HARD AND SOMETIMES ITS ROUGH BUT WITH HIM U CAN DO IT AND THATS ALL WE R GONNA BELIEVE. WHEN TIMES GET TOUGH FOR ALL OF U JUST ((((LET GO AND LET GOD))) HE WILL NEVER PUT MORE ON U THAN U CAN HANDLE. HANG TOUGH MATT AND SAVE ME SOME COOKIES.
HOPE U R UP TO COMPANY SOON,WE WOULD LOVE TO C U AND YOUR FAMILY.

LOVEU GUYS LOTS
RONNIE,MILIE,BENJI & MISSY TO:)
MILLIE <COUNTRYGRL1107@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON, MO USA - Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 11:38 AM (CDT)

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Debbi,

Just read your update from the 17th. Matthew so so sweet. I really do feel for all of you and our church Sunday prayed for all of you to give you strength and comfort that I know you need right now. We are so sorry and feel so helpless. I know that you can feel our prayers because we sure did when Chad was sick. I cannot believe Matthew's guest book and all of the Christian friends and family that have responded. I'm so glad the rest of your family is there with you and Dirk. I can and can't imagine what you are going through right now. Just remember not a day goes by that I don't think and pray for all of you. I cry all of the time just thinking about your situation. I have been wondering how to get a hold on myself sometimes. I haven't told Chad yet. He is in Florida with his sister and staying with my dad and his wife. Graduation gift. We put them on a plane and now we're leaving to go get them in Indianapolis, IN. Please call if you want to talk. I do understand if you don't want to call, but please keep us informed.

Love-N-Christ,
Chris
Chris McDowell <christymcd@yahoo.com>
Sidell, IL - Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 09:59 AM (CDT)

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My name is Leslie Rush (Mulvey) I worked with Julie last summer. I just wanted to let you all know that I will be praying for your family and you Matthew. God will take care of you!!
Leslie Rush <leslie.mulvey@coe.murraystate.edu>
Helena, AL - Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 09:06 AM (CDT)

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Matt & Family,

Cancer is an awful battle for anyone to be fighting. Especially children/young adults. By the hands of God I feel I have won my battle, but still may fight more in the future. Our heavenly Father has plans for me here on earth. I know so because He has told me. God has even greater plans for you. You, Matthew, have to fight no longer. The Lord has taken over for you and is waiting for you to be by His side when you are ready. The Lord has blessed you, and your family. It may not seem that way right now but it will eventually. I will continue to lift you and your family up. May the Lord BLESS you and KEEP you.

Love in Christ,
Elizabeth S. Wriker

Elizabeth's Journey

Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVHD eyes <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 09:55 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, As I read your journal entry the other evening, I was reminded of a song that we often sing at our church entitled, "Because He Lives". The song talks about holding a newborn baby and feeling the joy and pride he brings. The song goes on to say that because He lives, this child can face the uncertain days of his life. You mentioned knowing that Matthew would be safe in Jesus's arms. Just think for a minute how much you all love Matthew and know that our Heavenly Father loves you even more and will surely hold you in his loving arms and help you "make it through" the darkest of days. Your willingness to share your thoughts and feelings during these heartbreaking days has been an inspiration to so many of us and have truly shown us what the priorities in life should be. God bless and keep you in his love and plese tell Matt that all the kids in our Vacation Bible School are praying for him. Sincerly, Glenda Brock
Glenda Brock <gbrock2@mboro.jacksn.k12.il.us>
Murphysboro, IL USA - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 07:53 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

At the close of his life the Apostle Paul penned these words:

"For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing." (2 Timothy 4:6-8)

Fight the good fight. Finish your course. Keep the faith. Love His appearing. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 06:33 PM (CDT)

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I am still thinking of you all and praying for you every day. My heart breaks every time I read a new journal entry. Debbie, I admire your strength in taking the time to update all of us all over the world. I'm glad to hear that Matthew wants to go places and do things. God bless you all.
I miss ya, Jules!
Kelli Petermeyer <kelli.petermeyer@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 04:32 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and family,
I continue to lift you and your family up in prayer many times a day. You are all constantly on my mind and I check this site numerous times each day. You are quite a young man, I am so amazed at the attitude you continue to have. I am so proud of you going up for communion. I'm sure you made your folks so proud. Also, being so thoughtful of everyone else, when you could be just concerned with yourself. I so wish I could meet you. I feel like I know you, but I'd just love to see you in person. Matt, please know that I continue to pray for a miracle, but also for comfort for all of you. You are one in a million!! God's blessings on all of you!
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 04:11 PM (CDT)

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HET THERE MATT DA MAN:)
I BET U MAKE PRETTY GOOD COOKIES:) GLAD YOUR FEELING GOOD AND GETTING OUT, AND I KEEP PRAYING THAT YOU CONTINUE TO HAVE GOOD DAYS, LET US KNOW WHEN YOU FEEL UP TO COMPANY, ME AND RONNIE AND BENJ REALLY MISS U ALOT.
AND SAVE ME SOME COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MILLIE <COUNTRYGRL1107@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON, MO USA - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 04:02 PM (CDT)

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To The Hallemeier Family:
Our Sunday School class is praying for you every day. Emily Bate's (your sister's roommate) mom, Debbie, is in our class We have a class of about 60 people, so there are many prayers going up on your behalf. God's Word tells us there is no distance in prayer, so He is there with us and you as well. Your strength of faith is an inspiration to us all. You are truly to be admired in the face of a very difficult situation. We pray this note encourages your heart. You will never fully realize how you are touching so many people's lives. May you feel the loving arms of Jesus around you today!

Shelia Lamar <shelialamar@hotmail.com>
Owensboro, KY USA - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 04:01 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie ~
Here I am. We just got back from California late last night and I haven't been online in over a week. I just tearfully read the journal entries that I have missed and I am so glad to hear that Matthew is home with you. I prayed for Matthew every night while we were away, and I will continue to do so. All the emotions you are experiencing sound so normal ~ including the scary thoughts of the future. How can we not? I know it is hard, but it sounds like you are keeping it all together as best as possible. I admire you so!! I am amazed at Matthew's strength of character ~ his desire to take care of you, his courage in the face of fear. His compassion for others and thoughtfulness.........I am truly humbled by this young man. He is a blessing to us all ~ thank you for sharing him with us. We will continue praying for your precious family and will check back again soon.
Sending much love from Las Vegas ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 02:07 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew and Family,
We are happy to hear that you guys are having some fun shopping, cooking, and eating out together.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
---your neighbor and friend
The Drysdales <ddrysdale@hotmail.com>
OFallon, MO USA - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 12:46 PM (CDT)

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Hi, I just visited your website for the first time today. My son Dustin will be having a transplant starting July 10th, he is battling Osteogenic Sarcoma since December of 1997. Debbie just my reading your journal today I can tell you are a strong MOM. I like you look into the future and then tell myself to stop and enjoy today, not always so easy though. Dustin is 16 and he loves to eat and go out when you can also, does not like to be slowed down. Please know my prayers are with your family.
Jayne Bitker <RJBitker@netins.net>
Clear Lake, IA US - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 12:28 PM (CDT)

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hello. I don't think that I've ever met you all before but you seem familiar in the pictures. I recieved your site from a friend. My name is Rachel Baumgartner and I'm 19 years old. I had a bone marrow transplant last summer at CHildren's Hospital (in St. Louis) after having relapsed with Ewing's Sarcoma (i've been battling it for close to 4 years). I had a lot of the same doctors as Matt too. I just had my one year mark last week and as far as I know i'm still in remission. It's been a struggle and I cannot even come close to imagining what you all are going through. Know that I am praying for you and wishing you the best, whatever that might be.
Rachel Baumgartner <obsessedwithlife@hotmail.com>
Creve Coeur, MO USA - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 12:17 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and family,
We continue to keep you in our prayers. So glad you are enjoying time at home . Special thanks to your Mom for the up dates . Remember God gives us strength each day.
Love from Joyce and Jim
Joyce Valentine <nanajovee@aol.com>
Panama City, Fl USA - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 09:47 AM (CDT)

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Matt-
It seems like you are enjoying all the good food being offered! Hang in there- I hope you are comfortable and happy at home. My best piece of advice is to request a Slurpee if it's possible. They always make my day a little brighter.
Lauren Sweet <rargdinogirl@hotmail.com>
Creve Coeur, Mo - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 09:21 AM (CDT)

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Just wanted to let you know that ya'll are in my thoughts & prayers. My morning routine is to check on Matthew to see how his day went. Last year, I did some mission work at the Church at St. Charles and it was a life changing experience.

God Bless You,

Steven Hicks <hicks@cbse.uab.edu>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 09:08 AM (CDT)

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Matt and family, keeping up with you here on your website and was so happy to read about what you've been up to lately. You guys keep doing what you're doing--hanging out and being with the ones we care about is what it's all about. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers....
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDS
emmie <mmoxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 06:02 AM (CDT)

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Praying for you always!



Love in Christ,
Elizabeth S. Wriker


Elizabeth's Journey

Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVH of eyes <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 12:35 AM (CDT)

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Matthew, I am so glad you have been eating so well and getting out of the house:)It sounds like you have had some good family time too.Enjoy your new CD's and DVD's.I'm always praying for you!!
Lisa Salem <stevesalem@accessus.net>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 10:31 PM (CDT)

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hi matt just thaught i would say hi buddy, we went to the mall to buy benji a pair of shoes at champs, ( he}s spoiled
im glad your getting around so good , im still praying for complete healing , to god it is a small thing , we just have to believe in him and (all) things are possible we love you all, Ron millie benji. )
ron revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo usa - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 10:18 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

I'm praying that your heart and the hearts of your Dad, Mom, Julie, and Chris will continue to be filled with faith, peace, hope, joy, and love.

It is written: "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: by whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." (Romans 5:1-5)

"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." (Romans 15:13) Amen!

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 07:42 PM (CDT)

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Just checking in and wanted to say hi! Debbie, after you mentioned the visitor number at the bottom of the journal, I've been watching it go up. Did you realize that almost 1000 people have checked Matthew's page since 8:00 yesterday morning? (976) That is awesome! Matthew has touched SO many people's lives. We continue to send our love and prayers your way.
Kim, Brian, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 06:44 PM (CDT)

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Debbi,

Just read your update from the 17th. Matthew is so sweet. I really do feel for all of you and our church Sunday prayed for all of you to give you the strength and comfort that I know you need right now. We are so sorry and feel so helpless. I know that you can feel our prayers because we sure did when Chad was sick. I cannot believe Matthew's guest book and all of the Christian friends and family that have responded. I'm so glad the rest of your family is there with you and Dirk. I can and can't imagine what you are going through right now. Just remember not a days go by that I don't think and pray for all of you. I cry all of the time just thinking about your situation. I have been wondering how to get a hold on myself sometimes. I haven't told Chad yet. He is in Florida with his sister and staying with my Dad and his wife. We're leaving now for the airport in Indianapolis to get them. Please call if you want to talk. I do understand if you don't want to call, but please keep us informed.

Love-N-Christ,
Chris
Chris McDowell <christymcd@yahoo.com>
Sidell, IL - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 06:14 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew, Debbie, Dirk & family: What an inspiration it was to see all of you at church Sunday & going to communion together. It was so good to see you, Matt, & I know that Jesus is right there with you. The faith & love of all your family plus the love & prayers of your Christian family are with you each day. You are truly in God's hands as you show us "the way." Love, Bill & Phyllis Criss.
Phyllis Criss <wlpjcriss@worldnet.att.net>
St Charles, Mo USA - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 09:23 AM (CDT)

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"This is the day the Lord has made, Let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

Good Morning Matthew & Family! Let us be grateful that the good Lord has given us another day together. How wonderful that you and your family are experiencing something quite unique: you are escaping from all the world noise that drives us to distraction, and are living at the very basic level, love itself. Nothing is more special than mom & dad & children loving each other. I am a 36 year old daughter, but still my daddy's little girl. In his eyes I probably never will grow up! But I treasure the fact that he still thinks of me as HIS little girl. Matthew, treasure the fact that your parents love you intensely! So many teens are trying to distance themselves from their parents. Please draw closer to yours. Even though we've never met, they sound like very special people. YOU ARE SPECIAL TOO!!! God love ya:)

My heart is in my prayers for you! Your friend in VA -- Judy
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 07:08 AM (CDT)

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HEY MATT I MISS YOU! ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE IVE SEEN YOU AND I WISH I COULD TALK TO YOU. IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY WE WERE PLAYING TEE BALL, GROWING UP TOGETHER THROUGH ELEMENTARY AND MIDDLE SCHOOL. I HOPE YOU GET BETTER. I HOPE TO GET IN CONTACT WITH YOU.
MISS U ALWAYS
JOE COLEMAN
JOE COLEMAN <JLCOOL24@EARTHLINK.NET>
BRIDGETON, MO 63044 - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 01:34 AM (CDT)

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Matt, This is exciting to be able to communicate with you. 8West teachers have been wondering how you are doing. I will never forget your class that I looped with in 7th and 8th grade. You were a great group of kids and remarkable in all that you learned. We had many laughs and cries especially when we learned of your illness. My daughter, Laura, will be starting at Children's Hospital on July 1st as a new graduate nurse. She just completed her Nursing degree in May and is taking her state boards this week. We are all pulling for her. In October, I will become a grandmother for the first time. I don't know if you remember my daughter, Jennifer, who worked for Edwards Jones and now Mastercard. She and her husband Mike are very excited as am I. My other son, Steve, is completing his degree in Informations Systems Management and Web Design in August. He can take apart a computer and update it with new hardware and software. I hope this message finds you improving. Our prayers and thoughts are with you, Matt. You have the strength and fortitude to beat this. We have the utmost confidence in you. Good Luck and may God bless you. Love, Ms.W.

Terri Weiersmueller <weiers@juno.com>
Florissant, Mo USA - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 01:30 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matt, and family - I don't really know what to say, my heart is breaking for you. I am glad though that you are having some good time together, hanging out in your jammies and ordering pizza. You are in our prayers.
Vicki Neus, mama to Duncan, ALL-Kids <texneus@yahoo.com>
Copper Canyon, TX - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 11:48 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
Hi! I have been following this website daily and leaving notes in the guestbook often. I think that you are all incredible people. My thoughts and prayers for courgage, peace and strength go out for you. I recently seen this poem and thought of you. Matthew is blessed to have both you and Dirk as parents.

A Parents Lullaby
Hush my child, please don't cry
I know your suffering,
I don't know why.

You know if I could...
I would take your place.
Then all of your suffering,
You wouldn't have to face.

But since that's not possible,
All I can give is my best...
To hold you and comfort you...
To give you rest.

Hush my child, please don't cry,
For every tear you shed..
It causes me to sigh,
"I know you are suffering, I don't know why."

My heart is breaking, does anyone know my pain?
To see my son suffer..
It seems such a shame.
Does anyone hear me? Please call my name.

Then out of the darkness, there came a bright light..
As my heavenly Father came into sight.
And with a voice so comforting and warm..
He called me by name, as He held me in His arms.

Hush my child, please don't cry..
I know you are suffering,
and I know why.

But more important, I understand...
You see, I watched my son suffer for the sins of man.
As He hung on the cross to take your place...
The pain was so great, I had to turn my face.

But because of the gift that came through His death..
I can hold you and comfort you...
I can give you rest.

So hush my child, please don't cry...
I loved you so much, I sent my Son to die.

God Bless you all!






Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 10:49 PM (CDT)

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Hello to your family!!! I happened upon your website while "surfing" the web. I have been checking it everyday hoping to hear about the miracle that I also pray for everyday. My 4 year old son has been battling with Leukemia since he was 14 months old. We just found out that he has had his second relapse and we are getting ready for a BMT. I am terrifed. You all are in my thoughts everyday.
Stacy <stacyhuggins@hotmail.com>
Winston,, GA Douglas - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 10:46 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt, what a wonderful young man you are. Taking care of your mom is so sweet! You too must take good care of each other! I LOVE pj days! Houston and I have those too...
Houston is my little boy who also has all.... we pray for you each night. You are so brave and are a blessing on this earth, please always know that! Give your mom a big hug and hold her tight!
Kelle, Houston's mommy <Dudlebug19@aol.com>
Lubbock, TX US - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 09:57 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Jesus spoke these words to His disciples on the night before His death: "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:26-27)

We pray: Dear Father, may the Holy Ghost comfort Matt during his last days on this earth. Bring to his remembrance the things which he has been taught from Your Word. Fill him with Your peace. May his heart not be troubled. May it not be afraid. Strengthen Matt's family. May they all turn to You and to Your words. We thank You for Jesus. We thank You that He died on the cross for our sins. We thank You that He rose again the third day. In Jesus' Name, we pray. Amen.

Matt, I encourage you to dwell in God's Word!

"For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope." (Romans 15:4)

Carl H. Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 08:48 PM (CDT)

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Matthew-God bless you,kiddo! I am praying for you every night. You are truly a living angel! My 17yr old son has health problems too-he reminds me very much of you. He gets very upset when he can't do things he thinks he should be able to do-I tell him that life is full of detours and you can't stop the detours,you just have to deal with them in the best way you are able to. I wish he could meet you, but we live in Minnesota. Take care and I'll be thinking alot about you everyday-thank your Mom for her updates. I look at your site as soon as I get home from work and before I go to sleep at night. My daughter is complaining behind me that we have nothing to eat in the house. She doesn't know how lucky she is-someday I hope she appreciates what she does have. Remember God loves you and so do ALOT of people!!!!!
Karen <Valenti56@aol.com>
Bloomington, Mn USA - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 08:39 PM (CDT)

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As if Matthew's "CHAMPION" status to get any bigger in our minds, but it has!!!
What a beautiful person he is.
I love having PJ days too!
Our hearts and thoughts are with you all from afar.
You're a *STAR* Matthew!!
Lots of love & cuddles from,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family (ALL-KIDS) from Down Under! <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 08:35 PM (CDT)

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My anme is Lauren Gentry and I am one of Julie's pledge sisters and sorority sisters. I have heard a lot about Matt and the many things that you all have done for him and I think it is awesome. I just wanted to sign in and say that you all are in my thoughts and prayers and my God be with you all during this time.

Sincerly,
Lauren Gentry
Lauren Gentry <laurengentry@hotmail.com>
Jacksonville, FL Duval - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 05:35 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie. Sounds like you all are hanging in there. I am happy that you all are at home. I have not stopped thinking about you all. I pray for Matt everyday. Please tell him hello for me. Take care of yourselves through this challenging time...and please call here if you need anything at all.
Mandy <holthaus_m@kids.wustl.edu>
St Louis, MO - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 04:34 PM (CDT)

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Matt and the Family
I am one of Julie's numerous sorority sisters that is always praying for you and your health! I have heard nothing but wonderful things about you and the rest of your family and can see why Julie talks so highly of you all! I wish you well and will keep praying.
Lizzy Donahower <elizabeth.donahower@murraystate.edu>
St. Louis, MO - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 04:03 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
How sweet of Matthew to think of you and want to do something for you during this time. Thanks for keeping us all updated. I know that you want to spend as much time as possible with Matthew. Hugs,
Karen Brown <mbrown5507@aol.com>
Bend, OR USA - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 03:43 PM (CDT)

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Oh Debbie, what a beautiful entry you've written in the journal, sweet and yet of course so impossibly sad. I could almost see the two of you - Matthew must have that special something as the youngest child anyway, and he sounds like a grand lad (as they say in northern England, where we're living at the moment). It freezes up my heart to think of the future, and it must be so intensely painful for you and Dirk, Christopher and Julie. I am hoping that there will be some more caring, loving times such as you have described, to enjoy yet. God bless you, as always.


Gloria McShane <gmcshane@btinternet.com www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 03:39 PM (CDT)

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Thanks for the early update today! Thank you also for opening your heart to us. Your strength and the love that you express in your updates is amazing. We are all sending love and prayers your way. Love, Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 03:04 PM (CDT)

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Sent with Prayers and Hugs~



May the Lord Be With You!

http://www.caringbridge.com/ok/elizabeth
Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; remission w/ GVH eyes <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 01:36 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Matthew and Family-

I am thinking of you all so much and sending lots of love and good thoughts your way. Debbie, your updates are filled with so much love... may that strong love you have for eachother comfort you all.
Annie Thomas <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 10:05 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew & Family,
I thank God for the simple little things, like big comfy chairs, hearing my mom's laughter, pizza delivery guys when you just don't feel like making dinner, and best of all, resting in God's presence. I'm glad to hear that you wanted to go to church, and that you went. There's nothing like being upheld by a community of God in prayer. And maybe while your name was specifically prayed for during the service, you know that everyone was praying for you. Please believe that I am constantly offering up small prayers throughout the day for you too.

one of your many cyber friends--Judy Blicharz
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 06:47 AM (CDT)

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Matthew - I'm an 18 year old girl from Vancouver BC and I'd love to chat with you ! Email me sometime k Matthew ? I'd love to hear from ya, see ya later !
Shannon <Shannon_r@hotmail.com>
Vancouver, BC Canada - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 12:27 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family,
It's so good to hear that you had a great day, and it sounds as if you are eating very well. I can totally relate to the dexamethasone scene....which for a while was a good thing for my Father, at least he would eat while on that...and he would eat alot! I'm also glad to hear that you were strong enough to receive communion...what a strong young man you are! We are constantly thinking of you all, in reality you are strangers to us, but we feel as if we have known you forever. It's amazing how touched you can be through a website! We will continue to pray that God will grant you peace and courage at such a tough time in all your lives. God Bless you all.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 11:50 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family,

Happy Father's Day Dirk. It sounds like it was a memorable one for you and your family. My heart goes out to all of you -- as we were in this position a year ago with my lil brother (27 yrs old). I know somewhat of what you are going through, only as a sister though, not as a parent. It's the most difficult time of your lives. My heartfelt thoughts are with you all, and I pray for some sort of miracle for Matthew. He has been through so much. If God won't grant my miracle for him, I pray for comfort and lots of love to be surrounding your household, as I'm sure it is. Today was a hard day for us, but I had to come and check in on Matthew. Please give him a big hug for all of his unknown cyber friends out here.

God Bless you all,
Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 11:32 PM (CDT)

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Matt, Julie, and Family,
I just wanted you to know that you are all in my prayers and that God always has a reason for everything. Someone once told me that when you go to pick a flower, you always pick the fullest, most beautiful one you can find, and that is exactly what God does. Even though we good through a time of suffering and pain, God will take care of us and not put anything in our paths that we can not handle.
Audra Patton <audra_patton@msn.com>
Hopkinsville, KY USA - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 11:26 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matt and all, Some of my calmest moments are when Steph rests her head on my shoulder
during Church (Steph has slept through many a sermon, sometimes Dad dozes off, too, but I usually give
him a poke, lol). Matt, glad you were up to taking communion. Glad you're doing lots of restaurants, too,
Macaroni Grill is one of our favs. We have relatives in O'Fallon, small world...take care, Kathy, Mom to Steph,
from the ALL-KIDS list.
Kathy Mehl <lkm5@erols.com>
MD - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 11:18 PM (CDT)

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hi matt glad you had a good weekend thank the lord for good family like yours !!!!! we love all of you guys , love and prayes . ron milllie benji ..
ron r <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo usa - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 10:24 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew Debbie Dirk & Family ` Happy Fathers day Dirk ~ Im so glad Matthew got to go to Church w/ you ~ It must have been very Comforting ` I am still Praying Daily & Wish you Joy and Peace in his Holy Plan.
Debra, Mom to Ben 17 ALL-Kids
((((HUGS)))))

Debra <dabra4789@aol.com>
ks - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 09:57 PM (CDT)

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Happy Fathers Day Dirk!!!!
It's good to hear you are all at home and together.
Matt, I've never had the pleasure of meeting you or your family. You guys are such a strong and loving family and my heart really goes out to each and everyone of you. I wish there was something I could do for you and your family. I know you have had many offers but if there is anything, I would stop on a dime and come do anything for you and your family night or day. Just know my prayers go out to all of you. I pray that someone day you could be out of all this pain and suffering. I have NEVER meet anyone who has been so TOUGH and as STRONG as you with everything you've been through. Please if there is anything you need even if your Mom needs help cleaning or what ever, let Millie know and I will be there!!!!!!!!
My prayers are with you and your family
Keep a smile on that handsome face of yours!!:) :) :)
Always in my thoughts!!!!!!!!


Tina Hodgkins <stlrascals143@aol.com>
Florissant, Mo - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 09:54 PM (CDT)

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hi debbie and mathew
i have been reading your journal ever since the transplant and was shocked that it turned so fast. im so sorry. i think of you everyday and hope god gives you the strength
you need, god bless you
denise <denise107@aol.com>
anaheim hills, ca usa - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 08:31 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Sometimes the most familiar words of God bring the greatest comfort.

The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
(Psalm 23)

For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
(John 3:16)

We pray: Lord, we thank You for being their shepherd as Matt and his family walk through the valley of the shadow of death. May they fear no evil. Be with them. May Your rod and staff comfort them. Father, we thank You for Your love. We thank You for giving Your only begotten Son. We thank You for the promise that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Lord, we believe. Help our unbelief. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 08:29 PM (CDT)

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Happy Father's Day to Dirk! I hope that yall are able to share some smiles today :) Still Praying... God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
AL - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 05:44 PM (CDT)

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Debbie
We are thinking of you from South Africa. Matthew and your family are in our prayers and in our thoughts.
May you find peace and much love in the precious times that you spend with Matthew.
With much love

The Mountjoy Family
South Africa
from ALL Kids

Jacqui Mountjoy <windsong@venturenet.co.za>
Natal, South Africa - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 01:20 PM (CDT)

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Happy Fathers'Day to Dirk, and all the other great fathers out there. And to Debbie and Matthew, I hope you can find time in your hectic schedule for yourselves. Debbie, after all, if you get sick or worn out, things will really be tough, even at home! I hope you are finding peace, comfort, and maybe a little bit of joy here and there, God knows you deserve some. We will always keep your family in our prayers. When I spoke to a friend of mine about Matthews fight with ALL, she told me "God has plans for him on the other side", he is needed their. Sounds comforting
but still hard to hear when it is a family member. Love and prayers. Gods angels are watching over Matthew now.
Shannon and Ervin Fackler
Shannon and Ervin Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 12:37 PM (CDT)

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Hello Matthew and family,
Just wanted to let you know that I have been following your journey and you all are so amazing. We have been praying for you too and will continue to do so. Thinking of you every day.
Pat Bingham (mom to Isaiah -6- ALL PH+) <patricib@umflint.edu>
Swartz Creek, MI 48473 - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 10:14 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and family, may God's Grace continue to comfort you, give you strength, peace and love. You are an amazing family. In my thoughts and prayers,
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL KIDS
emmie <mmoxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 10:06 AM (CDT)

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Hello. I signed your guestbook for the first time the other day, and am amazed at how many are following your story...I read your journal entries all the time, I have read all of them to date...my son is 11 with ALL and has relapsed and is heading for transplant this week. Matt you are such a handsome amazing young man. My son Robert has been reading your story as well and we are all praying for you...we cannot imagine how you all must feel--but I know that God is in control, somehow...He sees all and is with you. Much love to you, you have touched our families life. Love, from FL from The Charltons
Robert/age11/ALL: "www.caringbridge.com/fl/robertmitchel"
Kathy Charlton <ckcharlton@aol.com>
West Palm Beach , FL US - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 07:29 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family,
You are truly an inspiration, and I am continually amazed by your strength and courage, especially in keeping us all posted in what is going on. Remember, your situation is a part of all of us, and I hope that you can draw strength from that. We are all still praying for a miracle too.
Karin, mom to Christine, dx 12/01 <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
berea, ohio usa - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 06:43 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family,
Hi! I was so glad to see that you updated the website, I know how busy you must be, but because your entries are so touching I find myself constantly checking for updates. I feel so close to your situation, I'm an only child and recently lost my Father to cancer. I stayed with him day and night from beginning to end and his biggest fear was wondering when he would die until the end was near, he always wondered how much longer it would be and I explained to him that nobody but the good Lord knew that answer. When my Father took that last breath it was very hard for me to handle but knowing that God was ready for him was a very peaceful thought for me. Matthew, you have got to be the strongest child I have ever seen, and as for your parents they are the greatest! Please remember that God willing miracles do happen. Dirk -I am a mother of 3 children and today I received a card that read "I know Fathers Day might be difficult for you...but with God's help I know you will be able to make it through". I hope you have a wonderful Father's Day. Keep your heads up and your spirits high. We will continue to pray for peace and courage for you all. "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you...Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27 God Bless you all.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 12:50 AM (CDT)

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<*^>*^>^* Matt & Family *^>*^<*^>
I haven't given up yet either! I dont't know about you, but I believe in miracles and I believe that Matt is lucky enough to all of a sudden wake up one morning and be cured, hey anything can happen!! I believe....you have to too! Hang in there all of you. Each minute with Matt should be very valuable. Keep praying, it will pay off. I know I will keep praying!!! YOU CAN DO IT MATT!!!! ***********

Love Always,
Danielle Rampani :) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Danielle Rampani <Hottangel77@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 11:48 PM (CDT)

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HI MATT WE HAVENT GAVE UP. WE BELIEVE YOU WILL BE HEALeD IF IT IS GODS WILL WE LOVE YOU & ALL YOUR FAMILY LOVE & PRAYERS, Ron millie benji
ron <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo usa - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 09:30 PM (CDT)

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Julie, Matthew, and Hallemeier family-
You are in my thoughts and prayers every day.Though your hearts are breaking, know that your strength and courage are an inspiration to all with whom you come in contact. May God continue to comfort and guide you in the coming days.
Dawn Johnson <dawnj80@hotmail.com>
McLeansboro, IL USA - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 08:32 PM (CDT)

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I, too, am an interested friend that is keeping up with Matthew through your website. My heart is breaking for your family as you go through this time. My prayers are with you and especially Matthew. What a brave young man he is. I pray that whenever anything happens, that it will be in the best way for your entire family. May Matthew's smile shine so bright forever in all our hearts. Even though I have never met him, he has touched my heart. God Bless.
Sheryl Clubb <SLCLUBB@aol.com>
Eureka, MO USA - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 08:01 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

I am remembering you and your family in my prayers.

I want to direct your eyes to Jesus and to heaven. "For our conversation (citizenship) is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself." (Philippians 3:20-21)

We are strangers and pilgrims on this earth. As believers, our citizenship is in heaven. We look and wait for our Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ. He shall change our vile bodies. They shall be fashioned like unto His glorious body.

"Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure." (1 John 3:1-3)

How awesome to be called the sons of God! It is written: "As many as received him [Jesus], to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name." (John 1:12) Matt, receive Jesus! Believe on His name!

When He shall appear, the sons of God shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is! "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." (1 Corinthians 13:12)

"For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come. By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name." (Hebrews 13:14)

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 07:43 PM (CDT)

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Hi. You don't know me, I am a friend of the Klancher/Reid families, who recently lost Danny. It is a terrible loss, and it saddens me that another family must endure what they have. I will keep your family in my prayers. Much love.
Katrina <sgtnfveggieyes@yahoo.com>
- Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 06:07 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, Julie, and Family,
To a family who is obviously in God's hands. The strength shown through the update I just read is amazing. My heart, thoughts, and prayers go out to you all. May God send his richest blessings your way. (I love you Julie!)
Krista Doron
Krista Doron <krista.doron@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 05:18 PM (CDT)

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Our prayers are with you
Bob & Carol Petermeyer <petedivs@midwest.net>
Carlyle, Il USA - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 04:12 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie and Matthew - You are so desperately right that no one of 16 should ever have to worry about dying in their sleep. It is a savage injustice ...

But in the midst of this, it is good to know that Matthew is more comfortable at home - it must be better for everyone. Debbie, take a leaf out of my book and be a temporary untidy person - or make your friends/relatives do a bit of cleaning, as well as the people you've hired. We know you can't email, but we're with you in spirit and we'll keep on praying for compassion and peace and comfort.
Gloria McShane (ALL-KIDS), mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 03:51 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt- I just wanted to let you know I have been thinking of you everyday and that you are absolutely the bravest young man I know. You and your family are in my prayers.
Diane and Mitchell Mathis <www.caringbridge.com/page/mitchellmathis @aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 03:40 PM (CDT)

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Matt & Family,

The times ahead are going to be rough but remember that all of these people who've signed your guestbook (and many more) are constantly lifting you up to the Lord. He has awesome plans for all of you. We may not be able to help physically, but we are all here for you emotionally, and spiritually whenever you need anything. Don't feel like you have to e-mail any of us right now. All you need to do is be comfortable, and enjoy the times ahead.

You are in His grip,
Elizabeth Wriker

"When everything in life seems filled with darkness, just look towards the Son." --Elizabeth S. Wriker ©2002

http://www.caringbridge.com/ok/elizabeth
Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; in remission w/ minor GVHD <Lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 02:09 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I know nothing that anyone says will ever take away the pain your family is going through right now. My heart is sad today as I read your update on Matthew's page. I am so sorry for this hardship in your lives. Please know that I am praying for Matthew and your family daily.
(Many Hugs and Prayers from Oklahoma)
JenniferK, from ALL-KIDS(mommy to Tyler, Tyler has ALL too)
Jennifer King <thekings@kindwords.com>
Blanchard, OK USA - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 01:18 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt & Debbie ~ I know the Words Im sorry Seem so pointless now ~ But I want you to know I CARE ~ I am saying Prayers for you Daily ~ A Song keeps running thru my mind ~ From "Fiddler on the Roof" "May the Lord Protect & Defend you ~ May he always shield you from Pain" I guess im So sad that That this is Happening.....((((HUGS)))) from kansas. G-d Bless you! Debra from ALL-Kids ~ my son Ben has ALL too..
Debra <dabra4789@aol.com>
kansas city, ks - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 01:06 PM (CDT)

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I am the brother of Regina Peters and Roberta Brennan. Greetings! My name is Pat Brennan and I live in Sierra Madre, California, right at the base of the incredible San Gabriel Mountains. I am a Roman Catholic priest and am so blessed to live in this sacred and beautiful place. I just wanted to write and let Matt and all of you, his wonderful family, know that I am keeping you in my prayers. Matt is on a very precious journey, one which will lead to greater and unimaginable new life. I know from your journal that you are all very brave and I want you to know that you are never alone as you face the illness together as a family. Surely the Lord is with you in every moment. May God bless you and may Matt be filled with peace and happiness.
Fr. Pat Brennan <patrickcp@juno.com>
Sierra Madre, CA USA - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 11:38 AM (CDT)

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Debbie & Matthew,
I check your website every day for updates. Debbie, you are an amazing woman. Matthew is pretty amazing too. Keeping you all very close in thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Karen Brown <mbrown5507@aol.com>
Bend, OR USA - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 10:46 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt and family,
Uncle Chris and I think of you all everyday here in Orlando. You and your family amaze me with your strength and bravery. We'll continue to pray for your comfort and a miracle. You are an incredible young man who is very loved. This guest book is a definate indicator of the effect you have on this world. We're thinking of you always!!!!
Love,
Uncle Chris and Michelle
Michelle Mathews <mmathews74@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 09:09 AM (CDT)

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~*Matt & Family*~
It's good to hear that Matt is home. I hope each day that Matt will get better. This is such a difficult time and its really sad. Cherish every moment with Matt because if you don't then in the end you will regret it. I pray for Matt to be comfortable at home. I always wonder why such bad things happen to the happy, young, innocent people like Matt. He is such a wonderful kid who made everyone laugh and he was always so happy. I'm sure its painful each day to just sit there and wait for his time to come. Just remember Matt will be in a better place where he will be himself again. I will certainly continue to pray for your Family and Matt. God bless you all! <>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*

With Love,
Danielle Rampani ~*~*~*~*~
Danielle Rampani <Hottangel77@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 11:13 PM (CDT)

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Deb
I cant believe what you are going through
I still dont want to believe this IS what it is coming to
and I cant picture you HAVING to answer his questions about death
It is just NOT something a kid should have to face
or a parent
Please know we are all here for you and praying for the best

Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page
c <chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Friday, June 14, 2002 at 10:04 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Jesus Himself died. On the night before His death He spoke these words of comfort unto His disciples: "Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know." (John 14:1-4)

"Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way?" (John 14:5)

"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14:6)

We pray: Dear Father, may Matt's heart not be troubled. May he believe in You. May he believe in Jesus. We thank You for the life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus. We thank You that He has gone to prepare a place for us in heaven. In Your house are many mansions. We look forward to the coming of Jesus. We look forward to being received unto Him. We look forward to being with You forever in heaven. We know and believe that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. We know and believe that no man comes unto You but by Him. May Your words comfort Matt and His family. Have mercy upon them. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 09:42 PM (CDT)

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I must not have been thinking when I tried to call you at home the other day. I cant even imagine, nor come close to what you are dealing with. It is frustraiting that there is really nothing that we can do to make everything better. If there was, we be fast at work. We drove through Weldon Sring Hgts on the way home from the migrain doctor, it sure brings back a lot of memories. If you ever get the time and Matthew is up to it, you could look at those old photos, Lakeside, etc. Maybe you will get a smile <:)!!!!!!Love, Shannon and Ervin
Ervin Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 09:12 PM (CDT)

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JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU & THOUGHT ID SAW HI , GUESS YOUR ENJOYING BEING HOME , WITH ALL YOUR FAMILY, WE LOVE YOU & WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU ALWAYS. SOMEDAY YOU WILL BE ALL BETTER LOVE & PRAYERS RON,MILLIE,BENJI.
RON REVELLE <RARA34899@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON MO, MO USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 07:38 PM (CDT)

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I just wanted to say that I pray for Matthew and your family everyday. Although it is hard for me to imagine what you are all feeling, my heart goes out to you and I believe the God will take care of everything. Julie is a good friend of mine and my love for her extends to your family. Keep hope.
Rachel Walker <rarawalker@hotmail.com>
Henderson, KY USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 07:02 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
My son Mitch will be 8 years old in August. He was diagnosed in June of 2001 with ALL. I see what he has to deal with and can only imagine what you have been through. I'm not a deeply religious person and I don't understand why things like this happen. I just know you are a warrior for all you've been through and I have to believe GOD will take care of you. I hope peace and no pain to you and your family. You are a symbol of courage and strength. Thank you for that.
Bo Mathis
www.caringbridge.com/fl/champ <saveit24@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, Florida USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 05:04 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family,
I only learned of your fight last night...a friend from the Ped Onc floor in our hospital told me...my son Robert, he is 11,is on his way to transplant next week. Your bravery and strength and love for one another speak of miracles that we cannot see. I pray for all of you...Kathy
Kathy Charlton <ckcharlton@aol.com>
West Palm Beach , FL USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 04:44 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and family,
My sister forwarded your website to me. Her son (my nephew) bravely fought leukemia for 4 1/2 years. I learned so very much from Danny. Although there are times we can't understand why certain things happen during our lifetime, may you have comfort in knowing that your family and friends love you more than words can express. You are all in my thoughts and prayers throughout the days ahead. May God be with you, and fill your hearts with peace and comfort.
Beverly Kelly <Kellygal23@aol.com>
El Paso, TX USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 04:14 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt, Debbie and family,
I'm still praying viligantly! I know God is listening, he has no choice with all these people storming heaven. I pray for peace, strength and comfort for all of you. I'm also still praying for the one miracle that only He can grant. I wish I lived closer so that I could help you with the everyday tasks at hand, also so that I could personally meet all of you. God bless each of you on this journey and please remember that there is a whole troup of God's soldiers out here trying to hold you up. With love and many prayers,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 03:51 PM (CDT)

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Julie and family:

I wish I knew the words to say that would bring you comfort. My brother passed away last week and I have tried not to ask "why?" but to accept that the Lord has a plan and that all of my brother's suffering is at an end and he is at peace. I pray that you can take comfort from the Lord and all the friends and family members who are there for you. I know Julie from working in Marketing/News Bureau at Murray State and she is a fine girl. I will continue to remember Matthew and the rest of you. God bless you all.
Sherry McClain <sherry.mcclain@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 01:41 PM (CDT)

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To the Family, I know this is hard, I had to do it for my father. Trust God in all things, he is faithful to his promises. He won't leave you nor forsake you. I wish I new you personally,I would be there cleaning the house and doing your grocery shopping. I will pray that God puts this idea on someone's heart that knows you and is available to assist. God's peace and love you to all.
Carla Gardner <cgardner@psdr3.org>
St. Louis, MO - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 01:27 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
(I'm one of Julie's sorority sisters here at MSU) I am so impressed with your strength! I pray for you and your family each night to find comfort and peace. Julie, I miss and love you very much ~ you are so amazing to be so strong. May God Bless you all. Shawna
Shawna Rushing <shawna.rushing@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 12:53 PM (CDT)

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Matt, Julie, and family,
My thoughts, love, and especially prayers are with you daily. I know that this is a tough time but just put your faith in God and let him see you through. I suffered the tragic loss of my grandparents in January and I know the pain and sadness seems almost unbearable at times. Lean on friends, family, and especially God and you will find the strength to make it through. Matt--you are so courageous. I admire your bravery and strength. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


Jenny Moss <jennifer.moss@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY Calloway - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 12:51 PM (CDT)

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Matt,we're still praying for you, still believing that Jesus will take care of you today, tomorrow and forever. Blessings!
George & Sherri Spicer
George Spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
bluffton, sc usa - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 11:07 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew , Debbie, Dirk & family:
My thoughts, love & prayers are with you every day. I cannot imagine just what you are going through, but do know that God does have his reasons & someday you will know what they are. Keep up your faith & know that He is there with you to comfort, strengthen & love you. Again, we pray for you daily & if you need us to do anything for you, don't hesitate to call (441-2612). Love, Bill & Phyllis Criss.
Phyllis Criss <wlpjcriss@worldnet.att.net>
St Charles, Mo USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 11:05 AM (CDT)

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Matt and family, I know i'm not a familiar name, but I am and AOPi at Murray State. I found your web page through Julie's post on Susan Greene's site. I can hardly imagine the struggle your family is facing at this time, but through the hard times remember to put your faith in the Lord. Although we do not understand now, we will in time. It is hard to understand that our plans are not His plans and our time is not His time, but you must continue to lean on Him through these hard times. Nearly 8 years ago I lost my grandfather to cancer. It is a very hard battle, but God will see your family through it as he did mine. Although we have never met, I do and will think of your family often. I pray for matt's comfort and peace of mind for the rest of you. God Bless!
Julie Hoffman <juliehoffman7746@yahoo.com>
Murray, KY - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 09:37 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and family — We haven't all met but I feel like I know you through Julie. As you probably figured out I'm one of her Murray State connections. Ever since a joint friend from the Chamber office sent me this web link I have been able to keep touch with your family even though miles away. I shared it with others in the department too. Technology is wonderful in so many ways. I studied your photos this morning. Matthew's facial features seem to be a clone of Debbie's...especially the smile and eyes, but Julie and Matthew have a striking resemblence also. Julie was with us all four years of her education here... one of our "endentured students" as one of our staff labeled them... the ones that came to work as part of their scholarship requirements and got a "thank you" instead of a paycheck. hahaha. It was my opinion that Julie picked her friends only after some careful observation and so I guess that makes me feel proud that over those four years she evolved from a student who at first may have came to work because she had to... into one who came to work because she wanted to. She made friends here (and hopefully learned a little from us, too :-) and that's why we continue to be interested and offer prayers and well wishes for your family. I'm so glad that you can all be together at this time and pray that you can each somehow see beyond the items of necessity that have invaded your home and enjoy some sense of normalcy and draw off of each other's strength and love. Julie... check in with us anytime that you can and know that we are thinking of you and your family even though we aren't close by. Remember that we are here if there is anything at all we can help with.
Love to all. Ava. MSU News Bureau
(Gosh when I went back and viewed I guess I got a little carried away. Mine is so long. Guess that's why my title is "writer", huh?
Ava Watkins <ava.watkins@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY United States - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 09:21 AM (CDT)

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I just wanted to let you know that you are often in my thoughts and always in my prayers!
Sara Drake <babar00@yahoo.com>
Murray, KY USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 08:48 AM (CDT)

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May God bless your family and give you strength for every day. And as always, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Miracles do happen!!!!
Whitney Burroughs <whitney.burroughs@murraystate.edu>
Owensboro, KY USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 08:27 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I think of you often, and keep prayers for all of your family in my heart. Thank you for sharing. Please call if I can do anything. (314) 645-6979

Gelene <gml2222@swbell.net>
st. louis, mo - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 07:21 AM (CDT)

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You are in my prayers. May God bless you.
Christina Clark <Christina.Clark@murraystate.edu>
Murray, Ky USA - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 12:44 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, It's going on midnight and I just can't get you and your family out of my thoughts, so I decided to get on and send you this message. After reading and hearing so much about Matt and all you've been through as a family...I've just wanted to let you all know how amazed I am at all your strength and courage that you've all shown through this unbelievable journey, especially Matt. Debbie,after reading your journal about your realization when bringing Matt home...it broke my heart and not even knowing you all...I cried, and cried hard.
You must be an amazing individual Matt, much like your Uncle Dale, who I admire very much for his own strength and courage in very difficult times. It must run in the family genes! Debbie, someone sent me this verse when I was first diagnosed with cancer and prior to my bone marrow transplant and I wanted to share it with you and others who might visit this site. Please know that I will always keep you all close in my thoughts and prayers...

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is liimited...
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit! Remember that always, no matter what!!!
gina peters <gpeters@mail.stcharles.k12.mo.us>
stcharles, mo usa - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 11:45 PM (CDT)

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Debbie, I just wanted you to know that Michael and I have been stopping by each day. Please email me if you need anything ... I am usually up fairly late ... if you need a shoulder to cry on or want to speak with someone who understands, please don't hesitate to call. Sending you loads and loads of love and patience to get through the next little while. Regards to Matthew and all.

Hugs,

Leah Paley <K_Laydee@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 11:14 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew,
I have got as many people as I can to pray for you. Even a girl in my summer school class is going to pray for you. She threw her last quarter in the wishing well and wished that you would get better and she doesn`t even know you!
Elizabeth Anne Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, Mo - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 07:12 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew:

I am touched by your mother's journal entries. I'm thankful for her continued updates. I am remembering you and your family in my prayers.

I would like to share just a few words with you from the Apostle Paul's 2nd letter to the Corinthians: "For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life: but we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead." (2 Corinthians 1:8-9)

In trouble? Pressed out of measure, above strength? Despairing even of life? Trust not in yourself, Matt, but in God which raises the dead!

Later, Paul wrote in the same letter: "For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Matt, look not at the temporal things which are seen. Look rather at the eternal things which are not seen!

May these words from the next chapter of 2nd Corinthians encourage your heart: "Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord: (for we walk by faith, not by sight:) we are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord." (2 Corinthians 5:6-8)

Absent from the body. Present with the Lord! Forever with Him! Awesome!

We say with the Apostle Paul: "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)

We pray: Father, we trust not in ourselves, but in You which raises the dead! May the affliction which Matt is now enduring work for him a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory! We walk by faith, not by sight. We look forward to being absent from the body. We look forward to being present with You forever in heaven. May we live each day to Christ, remembering that to die is gain. Increase Matt's faith in You. Fill him with confidence. Strengthen his family. Give them peace. We thank You for the death and resurrection of Jesus. In His Name we pray. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 07:06 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and family. My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Reading your post from last night was so heartbreaking, though I know you and your family are glad you are all under one roof again. No mother of a young child/adult should ever have to feel the things you are right now. Let the Lord wrap his arms around you and your family, to take care of you and comfort you.
Kelley, ALL-KIDS list <kelfitz@rochester.rr.com>
Rochester, NY - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 03:46 PM (CDT)

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Hello Hallemeiers from Amy & Rosie in California (ALL-KIDS). Just wanted you to know we are checking the website everyday (usually more than once) and are always praying for the whole family. We are gratified that you are all under one roof. God bless you and keep you.
Amy & Rosie Rumberger and family <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 02:41 PM (CDT)

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Matt and Family,

You are all in my prayers daily. Let others help you in any way they can. You need to be together right now.

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
--Dale Carnegie

Love and prayers,
Elizabeth

http://www.carimgbridge.com/ok/elizabeth

Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; in remission w/ minor GVHD <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 02:24 PM (CDT)

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Thank you, Debbie, for the update. It brought many tears, but I am so happy that you are able to be home together as a family. Thanks, Julie, for being there! I found a paragraph that Elizabeth wrote this year in her fourth grade class. They were to write about a friend. Elizabeth wrote about Matthew. Not many teenage boys would give a girl Elizabeth's age the time of day. The attention that Matthew has given to Elizabeth has really had an impact on her. This is just one of the examples of what makes Matthew so special to all of us.

Debbie, you have been such a source of strength for our family. You are the one so many of us turn to for help - me especially! Please do not hesitate to call upon us to help you in any way that we can. We love you. Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, Mo - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 02:09 PM (CDT)

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I have been reading about your lives through this website & All-Kids for a while now, and this is the first time posting here; though I have wanted to several times. Each time someone has said, more eloquently than I ever could, what I wanted to express.

Thank you for sharing all that you have been through and continue to experience with Matthew.
I will continue to pray for additional comfort and peace for your entire family.

Austin's Page
Sara Freking <sarafreking@earthlink.net>
Red Wing, Mn Usa - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 01:53 PM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier's
You're in our thoughts and prayers every day. We're glad that you're home, but our hearts go out to you for the road that lies ahead. We wish all of you peace and strength and comfort.

Al and Mary Heinbokel <mheinbok@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 11:08 AM (CDT)

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I am an Aunt to Ryan Grumish. My daughter Jennifer has been very active with Ryan and his progress. My husband Bill and I want you to know that we have included Matthew and your entire family in our prayers. God Bless
Nancy Palmateer <nina429@iGlide.net>
Bradley, IL Kankakee - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 10:39 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, Matthew, Julie and Christopher ; My sister forwarded your web page to me after speaking with her about my (6) year old daughter’s medical (lung) problems. I was glad she sent it to me, because I am in awe at the amount of strength and courage your family has. My Sister felt that I should read it because she felt you were so uplifting considering the unfortunate medical situation your family is currently going through. Reading your entries and learning of the long fight Matthew has had has truly moved my heart. I have gained a tremendous amount of inspiration and have learned a great deal of strength from you. I am so glad Matthew was able to go home. There certainly is no place like home. I am sure Matthew is more comfortable and at peace knowing that his family is by his side. Home is where the heart is. Dirk and Debbie, you are truly blessed with a wonderful young man. I will continue to pray for Matthew and your family every day. May God bless all of you.
Michelle Kennedy <krenee870@aol.com>
Ocala, Fl USA - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 10:10 AM (CDT)

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Hi, Debbie. I wrote once before (about hospice helping my mom through her intractable pain). I think of your family often and wish there were perfect words or suggestions, but I don't have any, so I simply address the two things you seem saddest (I know the whole thing is unbearably sad) about in your latest entries.

About Matt getting angry with you on the morphine: my mom and I were best friends (it was just the two of us my whole life) and our biggest joy was laughing together about everything in life. Also, that we could talk through any problem (I was an adult when she died) and make one another understand the deep love that was our foundation.

Morphine was both my best friend and my worst enemy. It took away her pain, as I said, but it also stole her away from me. We lost our verbal connection. Worst, she got angry with me a lot when I was her fulltime caregiver. I, too, knew it was the morphine, but it was still heartbreaking because I didn't want her to feel any pain or anger or frustration.

She also laughed and smiled a great deal less. Sometimes, but rarely (and she was someone whose smile and laugh almost defined her for many). It was as if she had no energy for smiling and laughing as she got weaker and tireder.

I always remember what she said once when she was sick but before the end. We had a fight and then didn't connect (by phone) for a while, and I got very frightened that my last words to her would be mean. She said, "just know, if that happens, that I'm somewhere laughing and laughing, because that was never what we were about and I love you so much."

It's brought me comfort from that time till now. I hope it helps. It's clear from your journal that Matt and all of you have the same kind of relationship.

I'll be thinking of you.
Emily <emylye@email.msn.com>
Newtown, CT - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 09:04 AM (CDT)

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I love you Matt.
Vicki Cooper <victoriastl@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 08:25 AM (CDT)

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All I can say is that I'm praying for Matthew and family.
Praying for God to continue to lift you up with strength and hold your family in loving arms. Matthew is so strong and God already has him at peace.
Anita Moore <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 08:17 AM (CDT)

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Matthew~

I only came across your website a few weeks ago, but have read thru some of the past journals and am in awe of the strength that you and your family have. My thoughts are for your comfort and continued peace of mind. I can only imagine the many lives that you have touched in such a postive way, and for that we thank you.
Teri Xavier <Tex612@aol.com>
Nashville, TN - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 08:07 AM (CDT)

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So glad you got to go home:)Hope you enjoy the new recliner and some homecooked meals.We're praying for you and your family. We've passed the need for prayers onto some of our family and friends, including a close friend of ours who is a priest.We know you are in good hands. God holds children very close to him. Love, The Salem Family
Steve,Lisa, and Catie Salem <stevesalem@accessus.net>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 06:23 AM (CDT)

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DEAR MATT AND FAMILY--------I JUST READ THE MESSAGE MY GRANDAUGHTER, DANIELLE PAINE, POSTED. SHE, TOO, HAS BEEN THROUGH AN INCREDIBLY ROUGH TIME SINCE LAST SEPT. SHE IS ONE SPECIAL, TOUGH YOUNG LADY AND I AM SO PROUD OF HER! MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOUR FAMILY AND I LIFT YOU ALL TO OUR DEAR LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST - MAY HE COMFORT YOU AND GIVE YOU STRENGTH RIGHT NOW; MAY HE GIVE YOU THE ASSURANCE OF HIS LOVE, EVEN IN THE MIDST OF PAIN. HE LOVES YOU ALL AND KNOWS AND FEELS YOUR PAIN. GOD KEEP YOU IN HIS SPECIAL CARE.
VIRGINIA DUNFEE <virginiavmd@mchsi.com>
Waterloo, Ia USA - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 12:24 AM (CDT)

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Matt and Family,
Just wanted to say "Hi", and let you all know that we are continuing to pray for your entire family. Hope you are comfy in that recliner. Peace be with you all. God Bless.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 12:14 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family, My prayers are with you all. You have such a beautiful and strong family. I hope that tomorrow will be a good and comfortable day for Matthew. God Bless
Susan <tooncie1@aol.com>
AL - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 12:08 AM (CDT)

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Like most people, I dont know what to say
I just pray God gives you the strength to get thru this

Chris <chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 11:57 PM (CDT)

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HI MATT SO I GUESS YOUR HOME, GOOD HOPE YPOU FEEL BETTER TODAY, I WISH THERE WAS SOME WAY THAT I COULD TAKE THE PAIN AWAY BUT WE KNOW THAT THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN DO THAT IS JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND SAVIOR ,MY PRAYER IS YOU HAVE NO PAIN WER LOVE YOU , ron millie benji
rON rEVELLE <RARA34899@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON, MO USA - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 10:48 PM (CDT)

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Just checking in before I go to bed. Hope Matthew's first full day at home was relaxing. I hope Dirk is feeling better also. If you want to watch a movie in a different way, go to movie-mistakes.com. It gives a list of mistakes that are in movies. My kids have enjoyed watching some of their movies over again and finding these. Some that I had never noticed are pretty obvious once you know what to look for. As always, our thoughts and prayers are with you. With love, Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, Mo - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 10:08 PM (CDT)

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I am sorry you did not update your webpage today but yet I am very glad. I feel you are all home as a family and it must feel soooo good. Watch movies eat out and enjoy your time. Everything moves fast and there is little time to enjoy life.. make the best of it because we all love you.

If I do nothing else tomorrow I will try someone to figure out your charts. Matthew is always in our prayers as well as all of you.

Get well Dirk, Happy Fathers Day. Have a great one, all of you!
Aunt Jenny <nsdalton@prodidy. com>
ferguson, mo - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 09:26 PM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep your head up high, and keep the faith in God, and you will find the strength you need at all times. I am friends of Barbara and John Cary and they told me about your web page. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you.
Paula Vacco <Pands4@cs.com>
Pomona, CA USA - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 06:43 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

I recommend for your reading the fifteenth chapter of 1st Corinthians. Listen to just a few verses from this chapter:

"For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures." (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)

"And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins. Then they also which are fallen asleep in Christ are perished. If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept." (1 Corinthians 15:17-20)

"Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory." (1 Corinthians 15:51-54)

"O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 15:55-58)

We pray: Dear Father, we thank You that Jesus died for our sins. We thank You that He was buried. We thank You that He rose again the third day. We thank You for the hope we have in Christ. We thank You that our death in Christ is called sleep. We thank You that this corruptible shall put on incorruption. We thank You that this mortal shall put on immortality. We thank You that death shall be swallowed up in victory. We thank You for the victory which You give us through our Lord Jesus Christ. Increase Matt's faith in You. Increase our faith in You. May we be stedfast, unmoveable, and always abounding in Your work. Fill Matt's heart with hope. Have mercy upon Him. We pray in the Name of Jesus. We look forward to the sound of the trumpet. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 05:24 PM (CDT)

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()*()* WELCOME HOME Matt *()*()
I bet you are so glad to be home!! Well I hope that you are glad to be home and I hope you adjust really well and become more comfortable being at home. Just hang in there and keep a smile on your face! Again welcome home!!!! STAY STRONG!!!! I'm praying for ya!! 8)

Love Always,
<>*<>*<> Danielle Rampani <>*<>*<>
Danielle Rampani <Hottangel77@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 02:55 PM (CDT)

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Matt- this is Erin Craig, and I went to school with you at PHMS. I've wondered about you ever since I moved away (after 8th grade). I am sooo glad to hear that you have been able to go home, and I hope you all the best in the future. You were the funniest person I knew, and you were always a bright smile to see. Keep smiling and God Bless
Erin Craig <wildcats_angel@yahoo.com>
Eureka, mo - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 02:21 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt and family,
My Name is Danielle, I had A.L.L and I have about 2 and a half years to go. My mom, Laura Piper, is on the mailing list and I wanted to start looking at the other kids' pages, this is the first. I thought that i had it bad with the side-effects, then I saw this page and I had tears. I feel so bad and I wish the best. I know how it feels when you feel bad and everyone wishes the best-but I really truly mean it and the good thing is is that he's eating-I have the hardest time with that. So Matt here's the part of my heart that gives my love to others in need of it!
Danielle Paine <danipaine@hotmail.com>
Hampton, IA USA - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 12:45 PM (CDT)

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Hello Matt and family.My name is Jill. My 3 yr old is in remission of Wilm's Tumor. I spend a lot of time on the computer searching for families like ours.
I sincerely,hope the best for you. I will keep you in my prayers. Tell mom and dad to contact me.
It sounds like the girl in the entry before mine is a very special person. You are so lucky to have someone so special in your life. GOD BLESS! caringbridge.com/ky/elliott
Jill Ledford <natell9299@aol.com>
Burlington, Ky USA - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 11:46 AM (CDT)

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Matt,
This is Lauren Sweet. I just wanted to let you know that you are always in my thoughts. I will never forget making fun of Brian Hawkins' girlfriend in 8th grade with you- you always had something to say about everything. There's something else that I wanted you to know- I remember meeting you in 6th grade and thinking that you were the best guy that I had ever come across. All through middle school, I always hoped that you would somehow pick up on my telepathic messages and realize how much I liked you. During freshman year, I was building up the courage to ask you to some dance that was coming up before you left. You're a great guy, Matt. Hang in there and take advantage of any opportunity that comes your way. I'd really like to hear from you if you ever get the time.
Lauren Sweet <rargdinogirl@hotmail.com>
Creve Coeur, Mo - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 09:53 AM (CDT)

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Haven't read today's post, Matthew and Debbie - in fact I'm still at work at the paper (UK time is late afternoon). But I think of you so often. I hope you've had those hamburgers, Matthew, and that you're comfortable at home - that's the most important thing. May God carry you and your family - and your cyber-friends will give our support.
Gloria McShane, ALL-KIDS, mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 09:45 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family,
I am a close friend of Greg and Sue Fackler(we were neighbors for many years). I just wanted to write and tell you that my prayers are with you and that I hope you enjoy your new recliner, and your burger tonight. My thought and prayers are with you and your family.

Lisa May <lamay4162@yahoo.com>
Jenkintown, PA - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 09:35 AM (CDT)

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WELCOME HOME MATT!!
We hope you are surrounded by your most favorite things and that you feel comfortable and safe. Your family is there for you, and the rest of us are not far away. God Bless You and Your Family.
The Noss's
Joan Noss <jnoss@psdr3.org>
bridgeton, mo usa - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 08:25 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matthew and Family,

Our prayers for you that you can find peace, strength and comfort. Thinking of all you often.
Barb mom to Joey (10) t-cell All
Barbara Tomlinson <tomlinson@enter.net>
Telford, PA USA - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 07:52 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

"Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:14-16)

Join me in praying: Dear Jesus, You are our great high priest. You have passed into the heavens! You are the Son of God! You are touched with the feeling of Matt's infirmities. We come boldly unto the throne of grace. May Matt and his family obtain mercy and find grace to help in this time of need. Jesus, You are our Lord and Saviour. May we...may Matt...hold fast this profession. We love you, Jesus. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 01:12 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family,
I'm so happy to hear that you are going home. Hope the recliner is comfy and the BBQ Hamburgers are delicious! Our
prayers continue for you all. God Bless.
Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 09:08 PM (CDT)

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Hi, I too am so glad to hear Matthew is going home! Theres' no place like home and your own bed!!!!!!!!Maybe you all will find the comforts of your being home, and may you all be blessed as Gods' Angels watch over you all. Hope you get some relief from pain and find peace and quiet at home.
Love, Shannon and Erivin
Shannon and Ervin Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
USA, MO USA - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 09:07 PM (CDT)

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matt glad your going home !!!!!!!!!!! we will call you and come out and see you, God bless you and keep you in his loveing arms, love and prayers in christ name,RON MILLIE BENJI>
Ron Revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
Bridgeton Mo, Mo USA - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 07:37 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Matthew.
I am so glad you are going home. Debbie the "footprints" poem is a source of strength for me always. Just wanted you to know we are thinking and praying for you here in New York.
Hugs,
Christine (mom to Nicole)
Christine Apollo <nikki0294@aol.com>
E. Northport, NY USA - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 07:27 PM (CDT)

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Enjoy the comfort of home. I wish I had a new chair to relax and watch TV in. Praying here in Southeast Mo for your comfort and peace in this time of your journey.


www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore

Anita <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 06:44 PM (CDT)

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Praying for a safe and easy transfer for you Matt, Mom and Dad and the rest of your family.

Keep on fighting, and keep God in your focus, he is the only "way" to have life ever after.

In Him,
A friend who cares,
Bonnie Prince
Bonnie Prince <bjprince2@aol.com>
wildwood, mo - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 06:02 PM (CDT)

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<>*<>*<>*Matt,
Hey Matt it's Danielle Rampani!!! We all miss you SO much at school and we talk about you all the time. You know what I miss the most? Well, riding the bus in the morning to school and always getting candy from Benji!! HAHAHA Benji always had candy and occasionally he would share some after we would beg him for several minutes. You always made me laugh and you always had a smile on your face. I wish there was something I could do, but hang in there Matt, you can fight this!! I know you have strength in you, your a very strong person. Don't give up yet, you have made it this far. I know your in pain and your tired of hurting but if you keep on fighthing, I promise you it will all pay off in the end. You have a really great family taking care of you, they love you very much as well as all your friends here. I pray for you everyday. God is watching over you and he's always there for you no matter what. Hang in there bud! I miss you.

Love Your Friend,
~*Danielle Rampani*~
Danielle Rampani <Hottangel77@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO St. Louis - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 05:33 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and family,
Awesome website!! But what else would I expect from you Matt?!
Love the pictures you choose--your very handsome.
See ya later.

Debra Spoljaric <debra227@swbell.net>
St. Louis, MO USA - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 05:32 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
Thinking of you, and sending you lots of love and peace.

Gelene Lorentzen <gml2222@swbell.net>
st. louis, mo st. louis - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 05:23 PM (CDT)

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We are still praying for you all, and have put you on the pray list at our chruch, way up here in Canada. Debbie your family inspires us.with its stength and grace.god bless. and love Michele,Barry and Tessa
Michele Lafantaisie <samgd11@attcanada.ca>
Ottawa , on Canada - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 03:20 PM (CDT)

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You are continually in my thoughts and prayers. I am glad that you will be going home, and I am glad that you can draw so much strength from each other. You are a wonderful family.

Karin, mom to Christine, pre-B, dx 12/01 <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
berea, ohio usa - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 03:10 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt & Family,
Still thinking of you and praying for your physical comfort and spiritual peace of mind:) I will be offering this Friday as a day of fast and prayer for you all.

Your 'cyberfriend' in VA-- Judy Blicharz
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 03:07 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, you and your whole family are continually in my thoughts and prayers. Julie, we miss you and love you!
Judy Gargus <j_gargus@hotmail.com>
Murray, Ky - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 12:09 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
I've already signed in today, but had to come and check back again. I'm so glad to see that you are going home. I also had to comment on your friend that sent you the poem "Footprints". I had referenced that poem in an earlier signing, it has got to be one of the most awesome statements ever written. How often do we all feel alone when things are at their worst, we have to realize that there is no way God would leave us alone at these times, we just have to let ourselves feel him carrying us, and holding us up. This is my prayer for your whole family that you would feel God's loving arms wrapped around all of you and holding on tight! Just like we would run to our dad's arms when we were little kids and he would hug us and make it better, so is it that our Heavenly Father wraps his arms around us and helps us to feel better.
Dear Father,
I pray that you will hug this family very, very tight. Let them feel your arms around them. Continue to give them all strength and faith. Please lay your healing hands on Matthew. I ask all this in your name, Amen.
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 11:42 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
Your family is in my prayers. We're sending love and healing thoughts to you across the miles.
Jane, Mom to K.J., 18, dx. ALL 11/01

Jane Freestone <jwfreestone@earthlink.net>
Silver Spring, MD US - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 11:02 AM (CDT)

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Dear Hallemeier family,
My thoughts and prayers are constantly with you. You are a very strong family and very lucky to have eachother through this difficult time. God is with you through all of this and never forget that He will provide you with the answers to your questions. Julie, I miss you but I am glad that you can be with your family and I am praying for you.
Love,
Janine Perkins
Janine Perkins <JNP4dance@aol.com>
Murray, KY USA - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 09:51 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Debbie,
I sure hope that you are packing at this moment to come home. There is something special about being at your own house. Matthew I'm praying for you to be comfortable, but I'm still praying for God to grant you the miracle that only He can give. Enjoy each moment together, as we all should!! Your family is such a tremendous example of how we all should be EVERY day, not just when we are faced with adversity. Hold on to your faith Matthew, I'm still storming heaven and I know HE will listen!! With hugs, love and prayers,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 09:51 AM (CDT)

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I'm so glad that you have been able to make it home for visits and hoping Matthew will feel ready to spend some nights at home. It will feel so good to be in your own home. You are always in our thoughts. Sending love and prayers your way. Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, Mo - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 09:01 AM (CDT)

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Debbie I agree with you, I'd be shooting up coffee.
But we are all praying for a miracle so it will all be for nothing and this is not limited time together....
Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page
c < chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 08:31 AM (CDT)

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Add my thoughts and prayers to the many that are with you. Think of you often with admiration and love even though we've never met.....
emmie, aunt to Maggie, ALL-KIDS
emmie <moxby@attbi.com>
River Grove, IL - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 07:20 AM (CDT)

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Matthew, Jules, Chris, Mr. & Mrs. Captain D-

Just wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you guys. I hope for the best.
Andrew Carlson <rjwashu@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 12:50 AM (CDT)

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I ask Maria so often about Matthew that she forwarded the address to us so we could get the updates first hand. Our thoughts and prayers have been with you all from the first diagnosis and will continue. God be with you all.
Glenda and Dennis Brock <gbrock2@mboro.jacksn.k12.il.us>
Murphysboro, IL USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 11:27 PM (CDT)

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Still praying for you all! The Lord works in mysterious ways. May God bless you and bring you peace.

With Christ's Love,
Elizabeth S. Wriker



http://www.caringbridge.com/ok/elizabeth
Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; in remission w/ minor GVHD <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 11:12 PM (CDT)

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Hello to Debbie, Dirk and of course. I am just checking in for an update. Though today I told one of the twins to get the bowl of popcorn off the hearth-but I called it "Get the refridgerator" off the mantle. Well thinking of you. Love Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler, Ervin Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 09:17 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
Words never seem enough to express what I feel. I read what your Mom posts and I can feel the love that she has for you. You are one amazing young man. You, your Mom, and family are in our thoughts and prayers.
Anne~ mom to Erin dx ALL <ob828@aol.com>
- Monday, June 10, 2002 at 09:16 PM (CDT)

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I was given your webpage information from a cousin in California. My mother's maiden name was Fackler. I don't know if we are related or not, but my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Sandy (Nihiser) Zeigler <zeigler@parlorcity.com>
Bluffton, IN USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 07:58 PM (CDT)

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Matt and family,
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mrs. Heumann
Kim Heumann <kheumann@psdr3.org>
St. Louis, Mo USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 07:48 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family,
Sending our prayers and hugs for you all.

Keaton 9 (dx 12/98, Tcell, CCG 1961, arm D, OT 4/6/02)
The Ruttinger's <jjkk3@attbi.com>
Tecumseh, MI USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 07:22 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

On the day that Jesus died for our sins, two other men, thieves, were crucified with him. At one point on that day, both of these men reviled Jesus: "And they that were crucified with him reviled him." (Mark 15:32b)

Later, though, we witness only one of the two malefactors railing Jesus. "And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us. But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:39-43)

The one malefactor turns to Jesus: "Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom."

Jesus answers him: "Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise."

Today! With Jesus! In paradise! How awesome!

The Bible gives us this little glimpse of paradise: "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." (Revelation 21:4)

Please join me in praying: Dear Father, we thank You that Jesus died for our sins. Like the unworthy, but repentant malefactor, we turn to You in faith today. We believe in you. Remember us. Remember Matt. Have mercy upon him. We look forward to paradise, where there will be no more tears, no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain. The former things will pass away. All things will be new! How glorious! Forever with You in heaven! Bring us safely there. In Jesus' Name, we pray. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 07:04 PM (CDT)

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We are praying for you....God bless...
mai <mailene.s.sigue-bisnar@ph.eyi.com>
manila, philippines - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 06:51 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debby, Dirk, Matthew, Christopher, and Julie,

We are thinking of you guys every day and keeping up with the website. Please let us know if we can be of any help. Sending you good thoughts and prayers.
Kristin Daly (from ALL-kids) & Dirk Killen <bostonirish88@yahoo.com>
Saint Louis, MO U.S. - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 02:42 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt, Just wanted to let you and your family know that I'm praying for a miracle for you. Your uncle Dale and Aunt Becky are good friends of mine, and that is how I learned about your and your fight. I sent you a card through Dale prior to your bone marrow transplant,. I also had a transplant in Feb. 99. I was diagnosed with multple-myeloma. I know exactly what you've been through... the memory of it is always with me and it is tough. My wish for you is comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, gentle hugs when spirits sag and Miracles. Hopeful, Gina
Gina Peters <gpeters@Mail.stcharles.k12.mo.us>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 02:17 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Matthew and Family-

Sending lots of love and good thoughts for continued strength and peace for you all.
Annie Thomas (from ALL-KIDS) <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 12:45 PM (CDT)

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Hello, I got your website from a friend of mine, Laura Wallace. I just wanted to stop in. My brother Tom has the same type of leukemia as Matthew. He was diagnosed when he was 5, relapsed around 12 and had been cancer free since. He just turned 21 and a month and a half ago found out that it had returned. He goes to Cardinal Glennon for treatments. He was going on an outpatient basis but they decided to put him in every 2 weeks after he had an allergic reaction. Wednesday(June 5)he found out that he needs a bone marrow transplant. He is in remission now also. I don't know much about the transplant or his treatments as my mom does, but I just wanted to say that Matthew is in my prayers as well.
Laura Haeffner <firechickn98@yahoo.com>
Belleville, IL USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 09:46 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie (and of course Matt and Dirk),
Although I only interacted with you all mainly about school, you are in my thoughts in all ways. I want you all to know I am sending prayers and healing thoughts your way. I have been down the treacherous path you all are on with our teenaged son - 16 years ago. The thing I know is to hold on to hope always. I will stop by if you are in the hospital - just to let you know I care and will gladly do anything for you. Even if it is as simple as some food from outside the hospital!
Marnie Hauff <marnieh431@aol.com>
St. Louis, MO USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 09:28 AM (CDT)

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Hi Guys,
So sorry it's taken me so long to check on Matthew. I had lost his web site address. Ryan Grummish e-mailed it to us. I hope things are getting better. I just can't believe 66 days and now this. I'm so sorry. Debbi, I hope you and Dirk are ok. I don't know how much more a person is supposed to try and handle. Our church has had some really bad sicknesses and cancer lately. Getting so puzzling. Tell Matthew we said Hey and please remember you are always in our prayers and on my mind. Just been busy and I know that's no excuse. So please forgive us for not responding sometimes. I have his web site now and I will continue to check it.
Chris McDowell <christymcd@yahoo.com>
Sidell, IL - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 09:22 AM (CDT)

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I'm sorry to hear you've been sick, Dirk, and hope that you are back on your feet soon. Such massive stress must affect your system - and it must affect yours too, Debbie, with everything you've been through It's good the morphine has been working, Matthew. I hope you can go home soon and enjoy being with your family.
Hugs from Gloria
Gloria McShane (ALL-KIDS), mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 04:09 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debby, Matt, and the rest of your family. I just heard about your web site and have been reading it. I'm your "California cousin", Barbara (Fackler) Cary. I'm so sorry for all the pain and worry you all have had to endure for the past 2 1/2 years. I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said, but I want you to know you are in my prayers and in my heart. I wish the best to all of you, and I, too, believe in miracles. I hope there will be one for all of you!! Love you, Barbara
Barbara (Fackler) Cary <Cary67@Juno.com>
Bellflower, Ca USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 12:30 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and family,
I can't begin to imagine the pain you are all going through right now. Just reading your journal is very emotional, I am sure writing it has been even more so. I remember Matt in my classroom, always cheerful and happy. He had a contagious smile! I wish I could do more to help, but know that I will be praying for you.
Jennifer Nitsch <jnitsch@psdr3.org>
St. Louis, MO - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 10:27 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
It sure was nice to hear you were able to get out for a bit to enjoy some real food. I hope and pray that you will have more days to go out and enjoy the sun shine. I keep updated on you several time a week. I'm so sorry that you have had to go through so much. You have such a great family and LOTS of friends that think about you and pray for you every minute of the day. You and your family are so strong.
I believe in miracles!!!!!!! I think of you often. I know you don't know me, but I know so much about you. You are "ONE TOUGH KID". You hang in there, keep your chin up. I'll be praying that you will be home to enjoy your family and the comfort of your own bed.
P.S. I am Millie's sister. You are very much in their thoughts and prayers everyday.
Tina Hodgkins <stlrascals143@aol.com>
Florissant, Mo 63031 - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 09:55 PM (CDT)

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dear matt,
this is just a short note to tell you that i am thinking about you and your family. i am a friend of your aunt jenny. i hope and pray for a miracle for you. i wish that i could help you, i am offering to you my friendship, a ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on.
Your Friend,
Mary Ann
mary ann <wendy-maryann@prodigy.net>
- Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 09:51 PM (CDT)

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Matt & Family~

In Sunday school this morning, during our silent prayer, I thought of you and your family. Praying that the Lord gives you the strength and courage needed to face what lies ahead. Although it may seem dim at times, I am still praying for a miracle. For your family I am praying that other's who know you are understanding, and willing to help in any way they can. "Mom", I know you wish you could be by his side non-stop, but if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to care for his needs. Caregivers are the greatest, but they sometimes need special care themselves also. You all are always in my thoughts and prayers.

In His Grip,
Elizabeth S. Wriker

ps~Watching movies is a GREAT way to "escape" the boring walls of a hospital room. I did it all the time! :o)

http://www.caringbridge.com/ok/elizabeth.html
Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; Allo. PBSCT 10/6/01; in remission w/ minor GVHD <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 09:13 PM (CDT)

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I know what you mean about watching them sleep. I would sometimes at night just watch Holly sleep. I knew when she was asleep she wasn't hurting.

Happy Birthday, Dirk.

We were in St. Louis on Friday night. Holly is getting to go to a teen trip to San Diego. I didn't realize until the meeting who your nurse Mandy was. Mandy was one of Holly's nurse at Cardinal Glennon. She is a very special person. Mandy is going on the trip with them.

Remembering the family always in my prayers.

www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore
Anita <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 08:53 PM (CDT)

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Dirk, Happy Birthday, I am sure what you probably wished for! Debbie, When my step dad was in the hospital and I morphine,(his apendix had ruptured)and was very septic, he went back in time and would talk of past jobs he had worked as if he had to get up and go or he would be late. And it took some convinceing to bring him back to date! So I can realate a bit to how the both of you are feeling. WE are keeping you in our prayers and have begged for God to send his angels to watch over you all.,,,,for comfort, peace and a few tranquil moments in time. It was nice talking with you yesterday. Love, Shannon and Ervin



Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield , MO USA - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 08:40 PM (CDT)

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Hi. We don't know each other...but I don't need to know you to pray for you. Please know that you are in my prayers...you and your entire family.
Khalita <khalita@yahoo.com>
- Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 08:02 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and family~
I hope that Dirk is feeling better so he can see Matthew soon. I'm glad Julie will be home soon so your family will all be together again. I am keeping your family in our prayers and sending positive thoughts to you always!! I pray that Matthew is comfortable and makes the difficult decision to go home. Debbie, I'm sorry my words are not able to better convey the sincere and heartfelt feelings of warmth and friendship that I want them to. Please just know that I am thinking of you from so far away.
Take care.
Love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 06:05 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt- I just wanted to tell you that you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers as well as the rest of your family.
Diane Mathis (ALL-KIDS) Mitchell's mom <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 05:21 PM (CDT)

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hello matt i know millie talked to your mom today, i just wanted to say hi & we prayed for you today, benji went upfront to have special prayer fou you, he dont say much, but i know he loves you alot, we do to.!@! may God our lord & savior keep you safe in his arms, love & prayers in christ name. RON MILLIE BENJI
RON REVELLE <rara348999@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON, MO USA - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 04:19 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

Lazarus, the brother of Martha, had died. Listen anew to this exchange between Jesus and Martha after the death of Lazarus:

"Jesus saith unto [Martha], Thy brother shall rise again. Martha saith unto him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day. Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world." (John 11:23-27)

Jesus says to YOU (and me!) this day: "I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die."

Jesus asks YOU (and me!) this day: "Believest thou this?"

Jesus says: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life." (John 6:47)

Please join me in praying: Dear Jesus, You are the resurrection and the life! Because we believe in You, though we may die, yet shall we live! We live and believe in You! We shall never die! We have everlasting life! We thank You for your life, death, and resurrection. We thank You for Your awesome promises! We thank You for everlasting life! Help Matt and his family during these difficult days. May Your words comfort them. Fill their hearts with the hope of the resurrection. Fill their hearts with faith in You. May Your grace be sufficient for them. May Your strength be made perfect in their weakness. We love You, Jesus. Amen.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 04:14 PM (CDT)

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Sweet Debbie,
just want you to know that im thinking of you guys....im so far away in england....i wish wish wish i could help in some way. sending prayers and positive thoughts for the comfort of Matthew and for strength for you and Dirk. You are fantastic parents and it sounds like you have a great team of nurses and doctors....i hope you guys get home soon so you can enjoy home comforts and spend quality time together.
Holding you all close in my heart,
Sonia ....Jakobs mommy (ALL LIST) <sonja_cox@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 03:50 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew,
I'm your second cousin Carol Jo Brenneman from Clearwarer FL your grandmother emailed me your progress report. Will say a prayer for you. Love John, Carol Jo and Geoff
Carol Jo Brenneman <wickerchicken1@juno.com>
- Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 03:02 PM (CDT)

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Matt and Family,
Continued prayers are going out for you & your family. May God watch over you and grant you all peace. Thinking of you always.

Roger, Lori, Colton, Kyler and Courtlan Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 12:30 PM (CDT)

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MATT, HELLO, JUST WANTED TO SAY HI. I'M RELATED TO RONNIE AND MILLIE. YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND AND JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW. GOD DOES NOT SAY THAT HE WILL TAKE US AROUND BAD TIMES BUT HE DOES SAY HE WILL GET US THROUGH IT. THIS IS MY PRAYER FOR YOU MATT.... GOD WILL HEAL YOU SOMEDAY...
ROBERT WYLDE <TUFFTOYS@SWBELL.NET>
ARNOLD, MO. - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 07:56 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie ~
I am so amazed at your unfailing ability to keep us updated on Matthew. Thank you so much. I feel so completely privileged to share in his daily activities. I know this sounds crazy, but the detail that touched me the most was picturing you two driving through Jack-in-the-Box, and knowing Matthew had a taco and a soda, but you just had a soda. I don't know why this scenario and the simple details of it just brought me to tears. I feel such overwhelming compassion for your family!
I pray that Matthew feels strong enough to go home soon. It must seem like such a daunting prospect in so many ways. The idea of short visits home at first, sounds ideal.
I am keeping you close in my heart and in my prayers.
Sending love ~
Stacey and family
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 11:08 PM (CDT)

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MATT WE LOVE YOU GOD SPEED YOUR HEALING ron millie benji
rON rEVELLE <RARA34899@AOL.COM>
ST LOUIS, MO USA - Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 11:02 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and family,
You don't know us, but we are friends of Matt Conover in Pittsburgh. Noelle told us about Matt and we have been and will continue, keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. We pray for peace for your family.
Franci and Dennis Eberz <feberz@stargate.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 09:55 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew,
I heard about you and your illness through the Pearl children's website. I am so sorry you are so sick. Please know there are so many of us praying for you constantly and we do believe in miracles. You are such a strong person and your mom and dad sound like the greatest parents in the world. Our family would help yours in any way we can - feel free to email us if there is anything we can do. You will be in our prayers always.
Chris Meier <gavinmeier@cs.com>
Ballwin , MO USA - Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 09:46 PM (CDT)

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Hi there Matt,
I am Bonnie Prince, I live here in St.louis and I found out about you through a web sight of 2 children who have a terrible illness too. Their names are Matthew, and Alex Pearl. They are only 5 and 7 I think. You see, I don't know them either personally but I pray for them daily and I am writing to tell you I am praying for you also. I have known about your illness for about 3 days now.

I will write more later,'
I know you and your family are busy so I do not expect an answer, I just want you to get better.
In Him, our Lord,
A new friend,
Bonnie Prince
Bonnie Prince <bjprince2@aol.com>
wildwood, mo usa - Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 07:00 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt:

"And the multitude [in Philippi] rose up together against [Paul and Silas]: and the magistrates rent off their clothes, and commanded to beat them. And when they had laid many stripes upon them, they cast them into prison, charging the jailor to keep them safely: who, having received such a charge, thrust them into the inner prison, and made their feet fast in the stocks." (Acts 16:22-24)

Look at the pain Paul and Silas wrongfully endured in Philippi!

"And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them." (Acts 16:25)

Look at Paul and Silas in their pain praying and singing praises unto God!

"And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed. And the keeper of the prison awaking out of his sleep, and seeing the prison doors open, he drew out his sword, and would have killed himself, supposing that the prisoners had been fled. But Paul cried with a loud voice, saying, Do thyself no harm: for we are all here. Then he called for a light, and sprang in, and came trembling, and fell down before Paul and Silas, and brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house." (Acts 16:26-31)

Note the question of the keeper of the prison: "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" Note the answer of Paul and Silas: "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house."

"And [Paul and Silas] spake unto him the word of the Lord, and to all that were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night, and washed their stripes; and was baptized, he and all his, straightway. And when he had brought them into his house, he set meat before them, and rejoiced, believing in God with all his house." (Acts 16:32-34)

Matt: Hear the word of the Lord! Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and YOU shall be saved! Pray and sing praises unto God even as you suffer! Rejoice! Believe in God!

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 05:02 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie, Matthew and Dirk - It's good to know Matthew is up to such ordinary, reassuring pleasures as watching videos and eating jelly donuts. It must be very hard to keep the site updated - the many people who care about you and your family are grateful that you let us know how things are. Of course you can't start emailing and phoning - you need that precious time with Matthew.

Maximilian and I often think of you - with so many prayers coming your way from round the world, it must be possible for Matthew to find pain-free comfort. I wish there was something more all of us on this site could do at this heartrending time.
Gloria McShane (ALL-KIDS), mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 04:08 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family,
I got your website address from Matt and Alex Pearls
website and it touched me deeply. I just wanted to let you
know that your all in our thoughts and prayers. May God
grant you the strength and courage to endure all to
come, and remember miracles do happen. God Bless you.
Lori Ann Stephens <stephns@advancenet.net>
Sullivan, IL - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 11:52 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and family,
My name is Sheila Ricken. We lost our daughter Mary Beth to brain cancer January 23, 2001. She was a patient of Childrens and Dr. Shenoy,and Dr. Hayashi during her bone marrow transplant. How blessed we were, as you are to have such state of the art facilities and compassoniate care here in our own town! When we were told that science could no longer do something to stop Mary Beth's cancer, we did 2 things...We never stop praying and giving up hope because we know miracles DO happen... and we were able to go home to hospice care...Wings hospice was awesome...they came by anytime we needed them and more, they were able to control Mary Beth's pain so she could rest comfortably surrounded by her loving family... I know that just because it was awsome for us doesn't mean it is for everyone...but if you are at all thinking about it and might have questions from a family with first hand knowledge... please call Sheila or Gerry@314-997-1455 or email us...sheila@ricken.org
We send our love and prayers. I know God loves you all and will help you deal with whatever his plan is.
Have you ever had an "angels helping angels" volunteer? This group was started in memory of our daughter.
Sheila Ricken <sheila@ricken.org>
st. louis, mo usa - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 11:26 PM (CDT)

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Matthew:
Please do not give up the fight. My family and I pray for you and your recovery every day.
William Moise www.caringbridge.org/ga/palmer <moisew@bellsouth.net >
Stone Mountain, Georgia USA - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 11:18 PM (CDT)

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{{{{{{Debbie}}}}}
I am still storming the heavens with prayers of peace and comfort for Matthew and your family. I do hope Matthew makes the difficult decision to go home and to be surrounded by the things and people he loves - and to be comforted by the warmth of being in his own house. I am still so sad thinking about the fear and worry you are going through. Please know that I am keeping you close in my thoughts and in my prayers.
Sending my love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW 6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 11:15 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt, Debbie and Dirk! I just wanted to say hi before I went to bed. Also wanted to let you know that I am heading out tomorrow morning with the junior high youth group for our mission trip, but I will call church while we are gone to check on you. Please know that we are all praying for you. We miss you and we Love you!!

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live throught Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He
loved (loves) us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:9-10
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 11:08 PM (CDT)

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Debbie
I am sure { I really hope so at least!} that people realize they need to take the back burner right now.
You need to be with him now and the little time you arent,
you are trying to sleep/shower/spend with family, and are too emotionally spent to deal with others.
Dont even worry about it! Just know that people who offer to help MEAN it and will do anything you need,
and those of us too far away are praying for you guys.

Chris
Gooch's page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Friday, June 07, 2002 at 08:24 PM (CDT)

---

What can I say? I could say that I understand what you are all going through, but that would be a lie. No one really knows what someone else is going through, even if they have experienced it themselves. They may share some emotions with you but what you are really feeling is your purely your own. I could sit here and say how sorry I am, but everyone says that. So what can I say? I can say that I have been praying for you, Matt, and your whole family A LOT. I think of you and your family at least once an hour, and say a short, but meaningful prayer for you all. Praying for a miracle to happen. I truly believe in miracles and I strive for the best. Miracles DO happen. I also pray that if the Lord does need you by His side, Matt, that you are as comfortable, pain-free, and cheerful as you can be just knowing that you will be with Him some day. Comfort, understanding, and tons of love from others is what I pray for the rest of your family. I'm a believer, and I know you all are too.

Sent with Love and Tons of Hugs,
Elizabeth Wriker

ps~Please know that if there is anything, and I mean ANYTHING, I can do for you, DO NOT hesitate to ask. I may be hundreds of miles away BUT I want to help in any way I can.

http://www.caringbridge.com/ok/elizabeth

"When everything in life seems filled with darkness, just look towards the Son." --Elizabeth S. Wriker ©2002


Elizabeth Wriker -- 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/01; MUD PBSCT 10/6/01; in remission w/ minor GVHD <Lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 05:44 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family
I came this website very randomly and none of you know me, but I was reading some of the journal entries and wishing that there was something I could do to help. I did think of one small thing that I hope makes Matthew happy if it works. You mentioned wantin to see sum of all fears in the hospital room, and with a laptop this is probably possible. There are website that you can download bootlegs of movie from and view them on something like windows media or realplayer. I know its not the same as getting out and going to a movie, but its something. First you have to download a program and then you can search for the movie. I would try imesh.com first, but you can also try qtrax or morpheus if that does not work. Good luck with the movie search, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family.
Love,
Michelle
Michelle <purplekrod@yahoo.com>
St. Louis, MO US - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 05:23 PM (CDT)

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My heart goes out to your entire family. Praying hard for a miracle.

Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike - ^i^ <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 05:22 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and family,

Praying for you all.
Harri T <timvdw@kcbbs.gen.nz>
Auckland, New Zealand - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 04:08 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,

I have been checking up on your website every day. I am one of Julie's old roommates. I went to eat with her on Thursday. She can't wait to see you on Monday! You are one lucky man to have the incredible family that you do. I feel priveledged to have met them all. I pray for you several times a day that you may find comfort. I would pray for your strength, but it sounds like you already that part covered! I truly admire your strength and attitude throughout the last two years. You are so brave.

To the Hallemeier family:

I think of you all often and pray that you may find peace in your hearts. Be proud for you have raised a fine young man. May God bless and keep you all.

Much love.
Kelli Petermeyer <kelli.petermeyer@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 03:29 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew:

May God fill you with the faith of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who answered and said to the king: "O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up." (Daniel 3:16b-18)

I will be praying for you, Matt.

"Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life." (Revelation 2:10)

"For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living." (Romans 14:8-9)

Jesus is Lord. Trust in Him. Believe His words.

Carl Mohme <cmohme@hotmail.com>
Florissant, MO USA - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 12:54 PM (CDT)

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Matt and Family,
I went to work with my mom last nite and there was a write up about Matts website. She works at ANSYS in McMurray, PA. Where this write up came from I prolly will never find out but i sat and read that paper for a little over 20 minutes, My mom came downstairs to check on me and tears were streaming. I am 17 and I don't know what it would ever feel like to know that I had limited time to do things. I hope you are taking full advantage of it. If you can get out,PLEASE go see Spiderman! That movie is amazing! If you ever want to talk anytime soon Email me ANYTIME. I am always online.

Love,
Krystle
Krystle Jo Emph <mxpx_child101@hotmail.com>
Houston, pa USA - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 12:08 PM (CDT)

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I have been in the transplant unit at Children's as we considered it for our two sick children, Alexandra 7 and Matthew 5 diagnosed with Fanconi Anemia a year ago. I can see you looking out at Forest Park and wondering why? You are right and our children should not suffer or go before us. I think of it every day as I hold them in my arms knowing God loves them more but feeling it is unfair to lose them. I pray for your family's ability to cope and even though we are strangers, I pray for grace and wisdom. Luke 1:37 All things are possible with God. Please contact us if we can help in any way on www.alexandmatt.com. Much respect and love sent your way.
Diane, Mark, Alex and Matthew Pearl <dipearl57@hotmail.com>
Eureka, MO - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 08:43 AM (CDT)

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I don't know if this will help, but I want to offer it in case. When my mother was dying from metastastized lung cancer (finally in her brain, bones, and organs), she was in agonizing pain. It was hospice workers who were able to not only diminish but eradicate her pain completely. She was able to visit with people and even take some short car rides to see places she chose. Her joy and disbelief that the pain was gone would have been enough for me to be grateful to hospice for the rest of my life, but that wasn't all.

They also helped me during the painful process of losing her. I am fully aware that losing one's parent is the natural order and losing one's child is NOT. As the mother of two little ones I am so very sorry. I don't have any answers about why, nor your kind of deep faith that there's a good reason. I do have my own knowledge that my mother isn't gone; I just can't see her for a while.

I just wanted to share the only thing I have for you: a concrete solution to a simple problem (pain) that worked for us. I found your web site while doing followup research for a novel I wrote. Your grace and articulate caring have been inspirational. I wish you peace even as I can't imagine how you'll find it.
Emily <emylye@email.msn.com>
Newtown, CT - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 07:49 AM (CDT)

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Oh dear Debbie, You are SO right....THIS IS SO UNFAIR!!.....so hard to understand. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I hope & pray Matthew is comfortable soon and pain free. I will keep praying for that miracle, like so many others around the world.
Sending lots of love, cuddles and positive thoughts to Matt and his precious family, to all his friends and also to all the wonderful people looking after him.
Our hearts are with you all always, especially during this tough journey.
Please remind Matt for us, that he is the "BIGGEST CHAMPION" in our books and he continues to inspire us with his courage during this battle. WHAT A *STAR*!!
Lots of love & cuddles from,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO

the Cruickshank family (ALL-KIDS) <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 03:09 AM (CDT)

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Matt, Debbie, and Dirk ~
I am sitting here looking over the latest journal entry. I don't know what else to say but that I am thinking of you all and praying for you. I am sorry for what is going on. I wanted to share this with you... Chris and I read this last night for our devotions...
"They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed." Psalm 22:5
Disappointements, failures, tragedies make life hard, trying, and bitter. Does God really care when we are in trouble? "Where is your God?" says the man of the world as misfortune and sorrow heap themselves on believers.
Trials and troubles seem to tumble in from all sides, making life difficult and discouraging. At times even the sinful heart of the Christian anxiously asks, "Where is God? Has he forgotten me?"
As the believer stands at the deathbed of a dear child and then the grave, the thought surges through the mind: Does God really love me? As the Christian has one prop after another pulled out from under him, he asks: Has God turned from me? See all the misery, loneliness, distress and destruction in the world! And sometimes it seems as though the Christian gets a double portion of it all. Does God care? Is he really my God?
"Where is your God" There he hangs on Calvary's cross, dying because he cares. There Jesus shed his blood because he loves us and does not want us to perish. If God did not spare his own Son, but gave him into death to make us heirs of life eternal, then he certainly does care as we go through life. He will not leave us hopeless or helpless. Underneath are the everlasting arms of God, which will not let us fall.
When it comes right down to it, we really deserve nothing good at all from God. We deserve "nothing but punishment," as we confess every Sunday. Nevertheless, he abundantly pardons us through Christ. Jesus' blood blots out even the foulest deed. There is peace, hope and joy in Christ crucified. God will not accuse us or close the door on us, but will finally deliver our souls from death and hell.
So we can make it through each day, with His peace, knowing that our God will sustain us. We are not stumbling along on an aimless road, but in a direction that God wills to take us for our good (even if we don't uderstand). So we can sleep in safety each night under the shadow of his wings. The Lord is the Keeper of our body and the Lover of our souls. And he is the Ruler of the universe. We will never be disappointed for having put our trust in Him.

Dearest Savior, teach us to understand your sacrifice on the cross and how that applies to situations in life, expecially with what Matt is going through. Remove all thoughts of rebellion and dissatisfaction from our hearts and help us to confess that your will is wiser than ours. In every problem, let your presence calm our spirits, especially Matt's and his family's. Help them to know and to understand that you love them with an everlasting love. Amen.
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran Church <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 02:01 AM (CDT)

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Deb, I know. I know how torn up you are inside. And not just you, the whole family.
I cant believe Matt has had to go thru all this either, and I wish I knew why.
I feel so bad for you right now, under no circumstances is a parent prepared for/should have to be dealing with losing a child.

I tell God if Ronnie is not meant to be cured then let me die first so I never know....

Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 10:53 PM (CDT)

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Matthew:

Your relatives in Ferguson, Mo are praying for you. We hope you are resting and feeling better.
We wish we could understand life so there would be no mysteries or surprises but then everything would be normal and we know that is not so. You are very special to all of us and have a wonderful family and everyone is so proud of you. You have gained so many friends and everyone is wishing you the best of life and that will be Gods will.
We all love you very much!!!
Jenny, Norm, Ashley & Norman (and new cousin Anthony)

Jenny Dalton <nsdalton@prodigy.net>
ferguson, mo - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 10:11 PM (CDT)

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I saw this poem on Squirrel Tales.
I like what it had to say.

The road is too rough I said, Dear Lord there are stones that hurt me so.
And he said, "Dear child, I understand. I walked it long ago".
But there's a cool green path, I said. Let us walk there for a time.
No child, he gently answered me, the green path does not climb.
Then God saw you were getting tired and a cure was not to be.
So God put his arms around you and whispered "come with me".
Through tearful eyes we watched you peacefully fly away.
although we love you dearly we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating and busy hands were put to rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us he only takes the best.


Anita <anitamo@charter.net>
- Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 09:16 PM (CDT)

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Matt, I'm adding you to my prayer list. May God give you comfort and special blessings.
Bobbie Wenzelburger <WenzelburgerL@CS.com>
Branson, MO Taney - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 09:14 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
I go to Murray State with your sister and met her for the first time when I came in town for the Rely for Life. I am 19 years old. On Feb. 26 I was diagonosed with Burketts Lymophoma. At the time I was 18, so I barely made the cut-off age to get into St. Jude's Childrens Research Hospital. I know that we have struggled with different illness', but I can sympathize with your frustrations and countless other feelings. I just want to encourage you and your family to keep a good attitude no matter what. No matter what happens along the way, it is all according to God's wonderous plan. He has fabulous things planned for your life, and I have no doubt that you and your family have touched and encouraged so many other people through this trial. Know that I will be praying for you with all my heart and please, do not hesitate to contact me for and understanding ear. God is so good-where the will of God leads you, the grace of God will keep you. Have a wonderful week! Dancing at His feet, Susan Greene
Susan Greene <Bignas321@aol.com>
Collierville, TN Shelby - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 08:33 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie,
I read your post today about Matthew and I'm praying his pain gets under control. I'm glad your pastor is talking to him to provide all the comfort he can. Sounds like the nurses just adore him. I wish I could understand why this is happening,it is so unfair and I feel so helpless. Debbie I think about you and Matthew every day. Wish I was closer but if there is anything at all I can do for you please let me know.
Love,
Linda
Linda Lewis <annhope2000@yahoo.com>
Grass Valley, Ca. U.S. - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 07:57 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
I am one of Julie's soririty sisters who has been constantly praying for you. Your wonderful and caring sister, Julie, has been keeping our chapter up-to-date on your progress so that we know specifically how to prayer for you. Hold strong, Matthew. Rest in God's strong hands; His plan is perfect. It is my prayer that you and your family turn to the cross with all your sorrow and all of your hope b/c that is what His desire is for you to do. I believe in miracles, Matthew; I hope that you do as well. "Forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead. Press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called you heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14.
sincerely, casey jenkins
casey jenkins <casey.jenkins@murraystate.edu>
clarksville, tn - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 07:22 PM (CDT)

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matt all i can say is we love you and we are going to pray hard, love & prayers RON< MILLIE< BENJI
RON REVELLE <rara34899@aol;.com>
bridgeton mo, mo usa - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 06:48 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie,
Matthew has been in my thoughts all day. I am also struggling to accept and understand our Lord's will. I am keeping the faith, or at least trying very hard to...... I don't know if it is so wrong to ask, "WHY?" For Matthew to leave us now,when he is so young and deserving of a fullfilling life ahead........it is impossible not to feel the pain of questioning our Lord's decisions. This being UNFAIR is the biggest understatement I've ever uttered!! I will not stop praying for a miracle. I am also praying that Matthew's pain can be completely controlled so that he may find comfort and peace and be able to enjoy some of the things he deserves to be doing right now. Thank you so much for allowing us to share this very difficult and personal journey with you and your family. Our feelings of helplessness are truly overwhelming.
Sending many many many many hugs from afar ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 06:22 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family,

I am a friend of Stacey Wada's. I have posted messages here from time to time for you. I just wanted to let you know that we are praying for you and hope that you are being kept comfortable. You are truly strong willed, handsome and a fighter! We hope and pray that a miracle will come your way. Trust in God, he holds the answers to us all.
Hugs and Prayers from California,
Anita Bernardo
Anita Bernardo <Maknardo@aol.com>
Granada Hills, CA USA - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 04:54 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and family,
You are in our prayers. Life is not always fair, but we have to trust in God, and trust that He does what is best for us even when we feel forsaken. From the journal entries, it looks like Matthew is being very brave and trying to make the most of each and every day. God bless you!
Becky Waldrop <bwaldrop@ hotmail.com>
Bridgeton, MO - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 04:45 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew,
Our family has had the privilege of spending a few fun and memorable moments with you - time sure has flown. You truly are one of Alex's closest friends and always will be. We are thinking and praying a lot lately, and we want your pain to disappear. You are so very strong! We love you.

The Noss family
Joan Noss <jnoss@psdr3.org>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 04:33 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and Debbie and Family,
I just wanted to let you know I'm still storming heaven and asking God for comfort for Matthew and also for total healing of his body. I continue to pray for a miracle!! Keep the faith Matthew, there are so many people out here praying for you and family, I would bet there are different prayers going to heaven each minute of every day. You are one special guy, I can't even begin to imagine all the people's lives that you have had an impact on. You are obviously very important to God!! I hope you can get some relief from the pain, and just remember we are all out here trying to hold you up!! Stay tough buddy!!
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 03:49 PM (CDT)

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Hi, Matt...It's Ms. Fischer, your 6th grade science teacher at PHMS. I hear that you are keeping your computer running, even when you are feeling sick. Outstanding work! Are you still using duct tape? You are and always will be one of my favorite students. I am praying that this illness will turn around and leave you soon. Keep strong and positive thoughts. Much love to you, Ms. Fischer
Nanse Fischer <nanselee@cs.com>
St. Louis, Missouri USA - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 03:44 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,

I'm so sorry to hear of your relapse - I am hoping and praying that the doctors will be able to get this under control quickly and ease your pain. Please know that so many people are thinking of you and praying for you each and every day.

God bless.
Laura Piper, mom to Danielle (http://www.caringbridge.com/ia/danisdiary) <laurapiper@hotmail.com>
Hampton, IA - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 02:48 PM (CDT)

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I am so so sorry that your family is haveing to go thru this. I have been following your son's progress for a couple of months now, I stumbled upon your web site while researching BMT's for my 14 yr old daughter, She recieved a BMT a year ago. It is so unfair that our children have to suffer and we have no alternative but to sit by and watch, when we would gladly trade places with them so that they could live the lives that they should. I have been and will continue praying for your child, I will pray for the miracle of his healing, it is possible through God!. I will pray for your entire family, that you find comfort in whatever God brings into your lives.
Debby <djfrro@aol.com>
- Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 02:42 PM (CDT)

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Your whole family is in our prayers. It isn't fair to lose a child - we know this awful feeling. God will get you through these hard times. We will be there to support and pray for you.
LouAnn and Tom Wicker <louannwick@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 02:20 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, you are truly amazing! I learn from your strength everyday.You are always in our prayers and thoughts.Love, The Salem Family
Lisa Salem <stevesalem@accessus.net>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 11:38 AM (CDT)

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Hey guys,

Just wanted to remind ya'll that you have friends from Alabama that are thinking of you and praying for you as well. Matt, I hope you can make it to see " Sum of all fears", it sounds like a very neat movie.

God Bless You,

Steven Hicks <hicks@cbse.uab.edu>
Bimringham, AL - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 11:12 AM (CDT)

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Hey Matt,
I've been checking up on you here on the website, and doing a lot of praying for your comfort. I've missed you this past year, and I'm certain you've missed working on math with me! You have touched many people with your own special humor and personality, and I treasure the time I spent with you and your family. You all remain in my prayers.
Ms. Karen Lammert (math teacher PHS) <klammert@psdr3.org>
Maryland Heights, MO - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 09:59 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt! It's one of your 8th grade teachers, Ms. Nordwald (now Mrs. Roberts). I just wanted to let you know that we here at the Heights are all pulling for you! Be Strong!
Ginger Roberts <gngrsu@hotmail.com>
Maryland Heights, MO 63043 - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 09:43 AM (CDT)

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Matthew - You and your family are all in my prayers. You seem to be a very strong and courageous young man.
Vicki Robben (PHS mathematics teacher <robben1@mindspring.com>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 09:38 AM (CDT)

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Thinking about you Matt. You are lucky to have such devoted family and friends. Best wishes. Jeff Marion (Principal, PH
S)
Jeff Marion <jmarion@psdr3.org>
Maryland Heights, MO USA - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 09:17 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts have always been with you Matt. Your courage and grace are inspirational. May God Bless You and Keep You.
Vicki Cooper <victoriastl@hotmail.com>
St. Louis, MO 63119 - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 09:03 AM (CDT)

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Julie and family, our prayer are with you and your family. God Bless you all.
Maggie Borgmann and family. <mmmrborg@aol.com>
- Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 09:03 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Family,
Hi, my name is Judy. I am friends with Susan & Andrew Colletti (Andrew is undergoing treatment at The Hutch and forwarded your website to me.) Even though we haven't met, your Journal entries move my heart to compassion. I know you must want to do all those 'normal teenage guy things' like getting your drivers license, playing football, going to baseball games. But God chose YOU for something special. But why you? Why does Matt have to suffer through this ugly stuff?! I don't know; I don't have God's mind. But I do trust Him. His ways are perfectly formed for what is best for each of us. Read Psalm 62 "Trust God absolutely." And Proverbs 3 "Trust God from the bottom of your heart."
Matthew, I pray that you have this same trust, that you and your family experience peace and joy.
Judy Blicharz <jmblicharz@chevychasebank.net>
McLean, VA USA - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 08:18 AM (CDT)

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Goodnight, Debbie ~
It is late and time for bed. I am thinking of you and wondering if you are asleep or not. I wish I could be there to hold your hand in the dark, and to tell you that everything is going to be okay. My heart hurts for yours tonight and I am going to pray for strength and peace for you. I'll "talk" to you tomorrow ~ let's both cherish another day with our sons.
Love always ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 12:11 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk,Debbie,Julie,Christopher and Matthew, I, too am praying for a miracle as are all the people who know about Matthew and his "fight". Remember one day at a time.
Love,Mother, mother-in-law and grandmother
Hazel Fackler <Nuthazel22@aol.com>
St.Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 11:58 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt & Family,
I really don't know what all to say because I don't know how you feel but I can only imagine that what you are going through is very painful and hard to get through. I pray every night for a miracle to happen to Matt, think positive and that miracle will happen. I've known Matt for a very long time and I miss riding on the bus with him on the way to school. I miss you guys being in our neighborhood as well. It's so hard to believe that something like this could happen to a very good teenager like Matt, who was always happy and who enjoyed life to the fullest. I want you all to know I'm praying for all of you and please keep your heads up don't quit now keep fighting because it will pay off. May God be with all of you through this horrible time. My prayers are with you ALWAYS!!!

With Love,
Danielle Rampani
Danielle Rampani <Hottangel77@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO United States - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 11:48 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and family,

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I pray that Matthew will be comfortable and that you all will find peace. Never give up, and live each day to the fullest.

Lisa Agee (www.caringbridge.com/page/ross) from ALL-Kids <lagee67@hotmail.com>
Camden, AL - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 10:31 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt & Family,

8th grade must seem like a long time ago to you. It seems like yesterday to me. We haven't forgot about you on 8 West. It was an honor to have taught and had you in our classrooms. We talk about you and pray for you often. Hang in there and keep the faith.
Michele Dodds <mdodds@att.net>
- Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 09:34 PM (CDT)

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I've never met you, but I followed the link over from Andrew Colletti's Web page and read a little bit of the journal. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be praying for you all in these hard times.
Gina Dalfonzo <gina@cox.rr.com>
- Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 07:24 PM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. I am a sorority sister of Julie's at Murray. I just heard of this new setback a few days ago and gladly offer all the prayers I and my family can give. My grandmother has cancer and recently moved in with us. I cherish every moment I have with her and like you remember the good times and pray that there are many more to come. Hopefully this is just a setback for Matthew. You and your family are in my prayers.
Nikki Key <lori.key@murraystate.edu>
Paducah, Ky USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 05:51 PM (CDT)

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matthew,your wonderful red hair was like a flame on a candle for the fackler family. please know that candle will forever glow in the hearts of your family. we send our love to you matthew, debbie, dirk, julie and christopher. love greg, gregjr.,sue and patrick
susan fackler <soccermom121@aol.com>
whitehall, pa usa - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 04:28 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and family,
You have been in our prayers since we met you guys back at Children's in January of 2001, when my son Ryan was diagnosed with acute biphenotypic leukemia. I was amazed then by your strength Debbie, and Matthews. Matthew has always been in Gods hands, and will continue. I visit your site atleast twice daily to check for updates. It was so scary after Ryan's transplant, especially out 15 days post transplant like Matthew. It is still scary today. I agonize with you over those dreaded test results. I pray that the Gleevac helps beyond its expectations. As long as there is hope, and Matthew is comfortable, never give up! My mom who passed away a few months ago from breast cancer fought her battle for ten years. she still said at the very end, "Never give up. Never give up." Hospice was a wonderful and caring way for us to bring her home. Hospice also was able to control my mom's pain better once she came home, than being in the hospital. Hospice continues to help us cope even now after my mom is gone. Stay strong and take one day at a time.
All our love,
The Grumishs
Judy Grumish <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Il United States - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 04:08 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew, Debbie, Dirk, Julie and Christopher,

Of course, looking for words this day is a futile exercise because none of them seem adequate. I have been following Matthew's story since last December and cheered along with you when things were going great and became sad when things were not going well. I have two kids of my own, my daughter who just graduated from high school and my son who will be going into 10th grade. I can't know how you're feeling right now because I don't think anyone can who hasn't been in this situation. I hate this situation. I can't, in my human mind, comprehend the reasons for things like this happening. When I feel especially puzzled and bewildered, I am then reminded of why we have God. I do believe that in life there is a plan and I know in my heart that God will not let you down as you traverse this scary, foreboding path. I try to keep in mind that sometimes it's sort of like being plopped down in a forest and being able to see only the trees right in front of you, which makes it all sort of resemble a reckless, senseless maze. However, from the perspective of heaven and through God's amazing eyes, it has to make more sense. It's just not always visible to us at times because we're right there in the middle of the thicket.
I will tell you this much, your family has inspired me. Matthew is an amazing young man and so much stronger than he could ever imagine. Your story has touched so many people that you will never know the full impact.
I pray that the doctors will be able to eradicate any discomfort and perhaps even the Gleevac will do more than you imagine! I dearly pray that it does. I do know that one of the most vital things that even a doctor can't write a prescription for, is the love that is so abundantly evident and in display so effortlessly within your family that no one could possibly deny that greater things are at work here. Love is powerful and we're reminded in the Bible that it DOES NOT FAIL. So in that sense, even when you have been most sorely tested, you have exceeded reasonable expectations. Your love for each other has carried you this far and I am betting it will see you through, regardless of what may happen. In truth, the only thing that any of us can truly count on is this minute. This second in time. And with that knowledge, we can truly see what matters most. From what I can tell from reading your posts, your family has been in on that secret for a really long time. I pray that you continue to cherish each other, rely on what you know in your hearts to be real and true, and remember that God is going to light your way and won't allow you to fall. As much as you all feel the love of each other, isn't it amazing to consider that God's love is even greater than that?
I wish you much strength, courage and even more love in the weeks to come. I think of you all often and will continue to pray diligently for more light and less fear.

With much compassion,

Susie Parker
Susie Parker <suzyp2660@aol.com>
Wilmington, NC US - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 03:50 PM (CDT)

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matt sorry to here your not feeling well,just remember that god loves you & he is in control .of your future i pray for you daily. we would like to come and see you . let us know if its ok when you get home. dont give up hope,we love you always, Ron,Millie,Benji.
Ron Revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton , mo u s a - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 01:32 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew, Debbie, Dirk and Family --
My husband and I have been following your website since just prior to Matthew's BMT and we are shocked and sad to hear this latest news. My husband has leukemia too (AML and ALL with philadelphia chromosome) and just prior to BMT we found out he relapsed. He has been taking Gleevec for 2 weeks and the blasts that were in his peripheral blood are gone. We don't know about the bone marrow yet, but we are hopeful. It's all experimental -- no one knows. We pray that this drug will help Matthew too. Our God is a big God and He can do all things. We will pray for healing and comfort, strength and peace for you all.
Love In Christ -
Susan and Andrew Colletti
Susan and Andrew Colletti <ascolletti@juno.com>
Seattle -- The Hutch, WA USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 01:28 PM (CDT)

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Hello, I am Ryan Grumish's cousin Jennifer. Know that our family is Praying for you. With all my Love & Prayers, Jennifer
Jennifer <Greenboys4@aol.com>
Bourbonnais, IL USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 01:20 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and family, I too have been following your journey for some time now. My heart goes out to all of you! My 7 year old son is 2.5 years out from a BMT for MDS/AML. I feel your pain as I recall the dreaded fears during that time. My prayers are with you all.
Patti Smith <psmith402@aol.com>
Cleveland, OH - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 01:15 PM (CDT)

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I am a fairly new member of ALL-Kids, and I was reading about Matthew and the recent relapse he has had. I am so very sorry for your family, and I can't imagine what you are going through at this time. I will definitely pray really hard for Matthew, not only for comfort, but for strength and courage, and hopefully a miracle. God Bless you all.

Holly Curtis, mom to Haley, 3 years old diagnosed with ALL April 3, 2002
Holly <haley25wks@msn.com>
Virginia USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 01:14 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family -
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am one of Julie's sorority sisters, and I have followed Matthew's progress through Julie. I do not know how to put into words my sadness over this setback. However, I hope and pray and believe that this is only a setback, and that Matthew will soon improve. My heart goes out to you!

Beth Harney <bethharney@yahoo.com>
Huntsville, AL - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 01:11 PM (CDT)

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Debbie,
Thank you so much for taking the time to update the journal. I'm sure this is the least of your worries at this point, but it sure is nice for us out here in "cyber world" to know how Matthew is doing. I know I don't even know your family personally, but after checking on Matthew for so long, it sure does feel like I do. My heart just aches each time I come here. Like I've said before, I just don't understand!! You folks have such an awesome faith and such a wonderful attitude, I only hope I could be such a wonderful example. I'm praying hard everyday that Matthew is comfortable and that you all are given the strength to get through this time, but I'm also going to keep praying for that "miracle" that only HE can give. Please know you aren't alone, there are so many people out here that would do anything in the world to take this pain away. I can only imagine how much everyone at that hospital adores Matthew, just from the smile on his face in the photos, I'd just love to give him a giant hug. Please take care of yourselves and try and get some rest. Remember you can always lean on HIM when everything seems all too overwhelming. I'm always reminded of the poem "Footprints in the Sand" which tells us about the man that questions God as to why there were only one set of footprints along his life in the times that were the worst, and God responded "That is when I carried you!" Let him carry all of you and I pray His blessings on all of you today.
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 12:44 PM (CDT)

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I am a secretary at PHS who has not had the honor of meeting you, Matthew. I pray God gives you and your family strength,comfort,and peace...and maybe even a miracle. It never hurts to ask Him.
Debbee Adams <dadams@psdr3.org>
Maryland Heights, MO USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 10:11 AM (CDT)

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I am a teacher at Pattonville Heights and had the pleasure of meeting Matt in 8th grade. What spirit and spunk he had then! I'm sure it's that spirit and spunk that is getting him through this most difficult time. May God be with you all.
Donette Green <dogreen@psdr3.org>
Maryland Heights, MO USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 09:58 AM (CDT)

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Pls. know that our family is ALWAYS praying for your miracle. Never give up hope and realize that the Lord's angels have their arms wrapped around you, Matt
Our love and prayers,
Dennis, Kim, Courtney, Erin and Bradley Shine
The Shine Family <eshine04@aol.com>
- Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 09:47 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and family ~
Our prayers were filled with thoughts of Matthew and your family last night. We are keeping the faith that God is watching over you all and that He will give you the strength to face every new day. I truly hope Matthew is feeling better and that you all feel the love and friendship being showered upon your family from all over the world. Our hearts are with yours.
Love ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad from ALL KIDS
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 09:27 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you. I will pray for strength and peace for you all, and that Matthew remains comfortable, Sue Fleischood (ALL list)
Sue Fleischood <@aol.com>
Reading, PA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 09:25 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew, Debbie, and Dirk
I know how important and powerful prayers are. My husband and I were carried through the darkest days of our lives by prayers. I will pray that God be gentle with Matthew and that you each find your own personal strength and comfort. I will pray for pain free days and good restful sleep for all of you. Let your hearts open to feel God reach down and rest his hand upon each of you. I send love to you.
Deborah Hailston-Jaworski <hailstod@clrc.org>
Deerfield, NY USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 09:08 AM (CDT)

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Matthew, I just learned about your story and am truly touched by your courage, strength and your interminable will. I am so incredibly inspired by your smile even in the presence of pain. Just seeing you with eyes so bright and alive, I am moved. In a world where many people can't see the happiness and joy of life for just that, it is not difficult to see you love life. I pray that you continually find strength, peace and that you may continue your precious existence. Just know that YOU are a miracle and that YOU are one of the few whose attitudes are examples for us all. I'm so very sorry to hear of your struggle, and you are in my prayers. Know this as well, you are deserving of greatness and wonderful things. Even though I don't know you, your story has made an indelible mark in my life.
Jamie Richter
Jamie Richter <jrichter@psdr3.org>
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 08:50 AM (CDT)

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May God be with your family in this hour of need, my thoughts and prayers certainly are. Your strength and courage are inspiring!!
Eric H. Espey <eric_espey@hotmail.com>
Murray, KY - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 08:39 AM (CDT)

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I am so sorry to here this. I know that there are no words that can make this easier but I do know that you are all a wonderful, supportive, loving family and that's what's important in times like these. Please know that my continued prayers are with all of you.
Maria Brock <maria_brock@yahoo.com>
Murray, KY USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 08:37 AM (CDT)

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May God be with you
Michelle <mwilliams@psdr3.org>
St. Ann, MO USA - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 08:36 AM (CDT)

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I just read your website today and I am praying for God's will to be done and you and your family to be granted the desires of your heart. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.
Carla Gardner <cgardner@psdr3.org>
St. Louis, MO United States - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 08:36 AM (CDT)

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Wow, I just sat here and read all the old journal entries. You guys have been through so much.
I cant believe the difference a day can make, things can turn for the better or worse so quickly and unexpectedly.
I cant grasp that he has been through all this for to to end this way... it just does not make sense. We are all praying for a miracle for you guys.. and of course no pain for Matt.
Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 01:44 AM (CDT)

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May God be with you all and may you triumph in the face of fear.
David Troxell <ddtroxell2002@yahoo.com>
Hamilton, VA USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 10:47 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
Im sorry to hear this buddy but keep fighting your a tuff kid i beilve in you...you've always been in my heart and prayers..and to my aunt, uncle, and cousins...you'll always be in my prayers..god bless.
Patrick Fackler <Fackgk21@aol.com>
Whitehall, Pa USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 09:25 PM (CDT)

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Matthew and family,you are in our thoughts and prayers.If there is anything we can do for you please let us know.We have an extra ticket to the hall of fame game in Cooperstown and its yours.
Best wishes,
The Mezik family
daniel e. mezik <mezik1@localnet.com>
west winfield, ny usa - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 07:05 PM (CDT)

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I`m so sorry. You are in my prayers.
marcia wadt <marywadt@terra.com.br>
sao paulo, sp brazil - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 06:37 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
You don't know me, but I have heard alot about you. My grandson Jonny was where you are now 16 months ago. There are no words I can say, no great prayers to pray. I wish you peace, comfort and strength. You are about to take a journey that we all will take someday. We will all be together on that perfect day to come. You have already shown more strength in your young life than I have in all my 56 years.
I'm proud of how you have lived. Your family can be so happy to have experienced this miracle called Matthew. Peace, hugs and tears.
Sue grandma to Jonny/^\
Sue Thomas <grandmasue@toast.net>
Toledo, Oh - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 05:49 PM (CDT)

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Hi! We are two of Julie's sorority's sisters. We just heard the unfortunate news yesterday. Our heart goes out to you and your family. You will be in our thoughts and prayers always.
Ellen Yonts and Kristin Pyle <ellen.yonts@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY 42071 - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 05:28 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family: I can't even begin to understand what you are all going through. I feel like I want to do some great feat to help, but I realize the best thing I can do is to pray and to be here for Julie. I sit here trying to find the right words to type, but I feel like anything I say is not worthy of the situation. The only thing I CAN say, that might help, would be to pass on this quote I once received from a friend. "If God leads you to it, God will lead you through it." May He lead you always. All my love, Stephanie Watson
Stephanie Watson <stephanie.watson@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 03:53 PM (CDT)

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You and your famiy are in my prayers.
Ashley Hailston <Ashley.Hailston@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 03:33 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier family, I have no words to make sense of this or to ease your pain but just want you to know that my heart and prayers are with you all.
Janet Guild (Nettie's mom) <guildt001@hawaii.rr.com>
Wahiawa, HI - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 02:19 PM (CDT)

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Matt, Debbie, and Dirk,
There's so little that we can say. You have been on our minds so much the last few days. It's hard to understand how or why the treatment works for one person and not another. We continue to pray for you and hope that there may still be a miracle. We hope that God will bring you His comfort and peace through whatever happens.
Al and Mary Heinbokel <mheinbok@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 01:27 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, We're praying for you in Northwest Missouri. You have fought a tough, long battle, but the fight isn't over! I am the mom of a 3 year old with a Brain Tumor. You boys are such fighters!! Praying for miracles!
Julie & Spencer
caringbridge.com/mo/spencermom
Julie Mattson <mattson@cameron.net>
Cameron, MO USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 01:06 PM (CDT)

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I am keeping you in my prayers always. My heart goes out to all of you. Much love from Murray.
Kelli Petermeyer <kelli.petermeyer@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 12:59 PM (CDT)

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To the Hallemeier Family:
I am a graduate from Murray State and friend of Julies. I just wanted to tell you that my thoughts and prayers are with you all. Remember that God loves you and will always be with you!
Cullan Couleas <cullan.couleas@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 12:59 PM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers to Matthew and family...May God be with you during this time...
A Friend <Tooncie1@aol.com>
- Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 12:34 PM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie, Matthew and Dirk - We were absolutely shocked to read today's entry. This is agonising. God protect you. I can't say more, but we send our prayers and love.
Gloria McShane (ALL-KIDS), mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
- Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 12:33 PM (CDT)

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This is sooooo not fair. Matthew cruised through his BMT and I never imagined this would happen. Please know that we are thinking of your family and keeping everyone in our prayers.
Hugs,
Karen Brown <mbrown5507@aol.com>
Bend, OR USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 11:34 AM (CDT)

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I am so sorry this is happening to you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. May you enjoy the time you have together. My heart is so broken for you all.
Teresa Mom to Sam 6 OT 6/1/02(from All kids) <teapartea@email.com>
Oregon city , OR USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 11:06 AM (CDT)

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Will keep up my prayers. Your entire family is in my thoughts constantly.
Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 10:27 AM (CDT)

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Hey Guys,

My heart is very heavy this morning after reading your updates. I have been checking on Matthew every since is BMT. He was doing so well and I know this must come as a huge shock to your family. I just don't understand why some kids do well and others have such a hard time fighting the same disease. Please know that your family and Matthew are in my families prayers & thoughts. Keeping fighting with everything you have got and never stop praying.

Your Friend From ALL-Kids,

www.caringbridge.com/al/sarahanne
Steven Hicks (aka. Sarah Anne's Dad) <hicks@cbse.uab.edu>
Birmingham, AL - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 10:21 AM (CDT)

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Just back checking in since last Friday and am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Why do these things have to happen? I just don't get it! I know God has a plan, I just wish we could understand it a little better. I'm not going to quit praying, we all know that God has the final say in what happens, I'm praying for him to perform a miracle on Matthew. I am praying for strength for your whole family and for God's comfort for Matt in these days. Please dear Lord, heal Matt's body and let him be your way of showing us all how you still have control. In Jesus holy name I pray! God bless you all.
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 10:17 AM (CDT)

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We will continue to keep you in our prayers and heart. We pray Matt can get some comfort so he can get home again. Love from Joyce and Jim
Joyce Valentine <Nanajovee@aol.com>
Panama City, Fl. USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 10:13 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matthew and the rest of the family: My heart and prayers go to all of you during this time. You ahve been through so much and yet been an inspiration to so many. May you find peace and comfort during this time. Please know that we are with you all and will be here fro you through thick and thin. Remeber, it takes courage to do what you are doing.
May you find the peace that oasses all understanding in the days ahead. Enjoy your time together and make some wonderful memories!

Margie, PED_ONC and ALL_KIDS mom to Karissa, soon to be 15, dx'd with ALL 1/95, ot 8/97 dealing with long term effects, Anna- dx'd with multiple medical problems of her own, William (aka B.J.) also dx'd with blood disorder and myopathy and motlity disorder, adn wife to wonderful husband, Kris, for almost 18 1/2 years
Margie, Ped_ONC and ALL_KIDS <gscrazy@juno.com>
Ft. Lewis, WA USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 10:12 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt, Dirk, Debbie and family,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We are thinking of always, and I am praying for your family's and Matt's comfort. Love, Michelle

Michelle Mathews <mmathews74@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 09:32 AM (CDT)

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Dearest Debbie and family ~
Our thoughts and prayers have been with your precious family every night. Your journal update is heartbreaking. I wish I could hug you in person and tell you how much we care for Matthew and your family! Thank you for having the strength to keep us updated. We are with you in spirit and praying for a miracle.
Much love ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 09:23 AM (CDT)

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Matt, Debbie and family:

Tears are flowing on my computer right now as I am so sad for Matt and his family. Please know that you are in my prayers.
Diane Mathis - ALL KIDS (mom to Mitch) <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 09:21 AM (CDT)

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Matt, my husband plays golf on Tuesday mornings with your Grandpa Don, and we are very good friends of Mary Lou and Gail Smothers. They have kept us updated on your condition. We want you to know that our sincerest prayers are with you and your family. We are praying for comfort and peace. God Bless You, Matt!!
Baxter and Peggy Tate <bandptate@aol.com>
Lake St. Louis, MO 63367 - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 09:07 AM (CDT)

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Dirk and Debbie,
Sorry to hear about this sudden turn-around for Matt. We will be leaving town tomorrow, but be asured that he is always in our daily prayers. May hope and faith be your hearts companion.
Leroy and Janet Hallemeier <jhallemeier @ hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 08:58 AM (CDT)

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I pray that you find comfort and peace at this time.
Karen, Mom to Clare (ALL-Kids list) <ardenpj@earthlink.net>
Cabin John, MD - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 08:51 AM (CDT)

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Hi,

I am very sadden at your entry today. I truely don't know what to say. I know you have faith in God. God will give you strength to take care of Matthew and to keep him comfortable. We will pray for God to heal Matthew if it be His will. I pray that the Gleevac will be what Matthew needs.

I feel led to pray:

Dear Father in Heaven, We come before you this morning with a very heavy heart for Matthew. Lord be with Matthew and his family as they are dealing with some very sad news from their doctors give them strength and comfort. Jesus we know you are still in control and that we pray that it be your will to heal Matthew of this cancer taking control of his blood. Lord, bless that drug they are using and take control and kill out those cancer cells. We know you are a loving God and that everything you do is to the best. Show us the blessing that we are to receive from all this and Bless Matthew indeed. Put your loving arms around Matthew and hold him tight in your care. Fill the family with your Holy Spirt and let them feel your presence. Lord, I pray that you will keep all evil from Matthew and his family. I ask this in the name of Jesus Amen

Anita
www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 08:37 AM (CDT)

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Our thoughts and prayers are with you all during this difficult time.
Knut & Suzie Hansen <knut949@attbi.com>
- Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 07:54 AM (CDT)

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My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Maren
Mom to CJ (ALL-Kids)
Maren <mar6732@aol.com>
Frederick, MD - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 06:55 AM (CDT)

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As the mother of two beautiful children, my heart breaks for you, Mathew, and your family. Know that your life has had and continues to have such an impact on those who know you in person and those, like myself, who have followed your story through caringbridge. Your courage and strength in the face of this terrible desease is so inspiring. No matter what happens in the future for you and your family, know that you are a hero in my eyes and in those of us who have had the privelege of knowing you. You have inspired me to become a stronger person and to look beyond the small every day struggles to the beauty of life. I will always be thankful for you.

My prayers go out to you and your family. May God bless you all. Hold each other's hands tightly, my hero.

Your friend, Kate
Kate <fokos@attbi.com>
MA - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 06:06 AM (CDT)

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Oh God
What is going on in this world? First the son of someone I have gotten close to {Zack} and now this.
I dont know what to say. I hope God intervenes with a miracle.
We will all be praying for you guys.
Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 12:28 AM (CDT)

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Hi!

I'm Elizabeth, 19 years old, and had an allogenic stem cell transplant in October of 2001. Currently, I am in remission w/ a little bit of GVHD. My eyes are really dry (hard to wear contacts), my skin gets red and patchy sometimes, and my mouth is really dry. Luckily, I don't have any pain from it though. Just annoyance. We think that my GVHD is keeping me in remission so I'm all for it! haha My doctors think that it will eventually subside (b/c I'm so young) and he will then lower my anti-reject drugs and steriods. (currently on 1 mg Prograf BiD and 10 mg Prednisone qD) I pray the same thing for you.

If you'd like to share stories, just e-mail me anytime!

And please visit my site:

http://www.caringbridge.com/ok/elizabeth

" When everything in life seems filled with darkness, just look towards the Son. " -- Elizabeth S. Wriker
Elizabeth Wriker - 19 y/o; dx AML M1 4/4/2001; MUD PBSCT 10/6/2001; in remission w/ minor GVHD <lizard648@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 08:49 PM (CDT)

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Mr. and Mrs. Hallemeier and Matthew,

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong!

Billy Hansen <scrappy1002@yahoo.com>
Chicago, IL - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 08:48 PM (CDT)

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Just know that our hearts ache for your family and pray that God surrounds you with His strength, loving care and peace. Wayne & Charlene Clark
Charlene Clark <ckclark@accessus.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 06:11 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Matthew - just stopping by tonight (British time) to see if there is any hopeful news at this painful time. We've been thinking a lot about you and praying for you, that you can find the strength inside to keep on.
God bless,
Gloria McShane (ALL-KIDS), mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 04:52 PM (CDT)

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Oh my God, Debbie, Dirk and Matthew. I cant even think of what words to say to express my heavy heart for you all. I am praying that God gives each of you the strength you need to get through this and may angels hold you up when you cant stand anymore. Lots of prayers are coming your way, I am soooooo sorry. pam d
pam diederich <pdiede@yahoo.com>
o'fallon, mo usa - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 04:09 PM (CDT)

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Still here praying for you everyday. There is always hope. I don't know enough about anything to be giving advice, but is there a way to concentrate on enhancing Matt's good white cells rather than focusing solely on killing off the leukemia cells? What about prednisone and neupogen? Although I don't want to send out any "quack" remedies, I was reading today about a guy who supposedly was able to control his CLL with massive quantities of Vitamins C & E. I wish there was some beneficial information that I could provide. I wish there was something more I could do than just pray.
Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
berea, ohio USA - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 03:50 PM (CDT)

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Hey,

Can the donor give some more stems cell? I have read where that has helped before with the GVH vs Leukemia. I have been praying for Matthew and family. Hang in there.

Anita
www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 11:28 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie Matthew & Dirk ` I am very Sad at hearing this latest News ~ I Am Sending ((((HUGS)))) & Lots of Prayers from your Cyber Friends in kansas.
God Bless You!
Debra ALL-KIDS Mom.

Debra <dabra4789@aol.com>
ks - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 10:46 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Family:

I am so sorry to hear of the relapse. I am sending prayers your way!! God Bless you all!

LeAnna White All Kids Mom to Jacie http://www.caringbridge.com/ok/jaciewhite <leannawh@aol.com>
Glenpool, ok - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 08:47 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, and Matthew,
We are all so sorry to hear about Matthew's relapse. Pastor Arle told the congregation about Matthew's condition and asked everyone to pray for him, and he also had a nice prayer for him. I know I sound like a broken record, but we are praying for you everyday. May Jesus give you his strength and peace to get through this. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 12:20 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matthew, and family ~
My heart is heavy after reading your journal updates tonight. Chad and I just got home from San Diego. I wish I had words of wisdom that could convey my heartfelt good wishes to Matthew to have strength during this difficult time! We have not stopped praying for your family!! We are thinking of you and will check back soon to read another update. We are sending lots of love and friendship ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 11:33 PM (CDT)

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Just checking in and wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and wanted to say good night. Love, Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 10:42 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt,
I'm so so so sorry to hear about your relapse. Please know that we are praying very hard for you for a quick remission and that the doctors can do the work that needs to be done. Please take care and know that you are loved all over.
Love-In-christ,

Dawn Gresham (Tommy's Mom ALL-Kids) <bdmtg@hotmail.com www.caringbridge.com/sc/tommygresham>
Warrenville, SC - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 10:00 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt! Pastor Arle called me Friday after he talked to your Dad, and told me a little of what was going on then. I read up on the rest from what your mom posted from Friday and today. I am sorry to hear about what is going on. Please know that Chris and I are praying for you... we do everyday. I am sure it is hard to understand what God is doing right now, but I pray that in some way you have His peace and do not lose sight of the Hope of life we have in and through Christ's death and resurrection. We miss you, and again, you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO 63301 - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 08:18 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk and Mathew,

We are very Sorry to hear about Matt's relapse again and with everything else that is going on. We will pray very Hard for Mathew and your family
Jiten Shah, from ALL Kids List <jitenshah@yahoo.com>
Monmouth Jct., NJ USA - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 04:36 PM (CDT)

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Matt and Deb:

I am so sorry about the blasts showing up. There are a lot of prayers coming from South Florida for you Matt. Hang in there buddy!
Diane Mathis (Mitchell's mom from ALL - KIDS) <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 02:31 PM (CDT)

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I am so sorry to hear of the leukemia showing up again. Debbie, I just sent off an email to you about a trial at MD Anderson with the doctor's name, etc. Please let me know if the info did not get to you.

love and prayers to all,

Amy, Angel Delaney's Mom
www.caringbridge.com/ca/delaney
Amy Wright <Wright_Amy@hotmail.com>
Sunny San Diego, CA - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 01:38 PM (CDT)

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Hello Debbie, Dirk, & Matthew. I get put into the hospital
for 8-days and come home to hear this depressing knews. But you know just as well as I,that you must never give up hope, as prayer changes things! I know it would be easy to through up your hands and say "I QUIT", but Matthews' road seems to be full of potholes, twists and turns. We will pray for a miracle for Matthew and some peace of mind for you and Dirk



Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Wentzville, mo USA - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 11:48 AM (CDT)

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Oh God you guys - I am so sorry to hear about all this
Be assured all of us coming here,
including the people who mean well but just do not know what to say so dont write an entry, are all praying for you.

Chris & Gooch
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 10:46 AM (CDT)

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Debbie, Matthew and family,
Please know that you are in my hearts and prayes to get through this! Hoping for some GVH to do the trick! Hang tough.
Hugs,
Heather, mom to Brianna (All-Kids) www.caringbridge.com/ny/mylittlesunshine <Queen1472@aol.com>
Syracuse, NY USA - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 10:22 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Matthew & all the family,
Sorry for this latest news. Please know that I am sending positive vibes & prayers your way.
You are a CHAMPION Matt and a WINNER!
Take care & BIG BIG cuddles to all,
Liz, Murray, Adam, Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank's from Down Under! (ALL-KIDS) <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 07:46 AM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, and Matthew,
Just wanted to say hi and to let you know you are always in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary Roach
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 11:51 PM (CDT)

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Keep up your good work .

My Daughter Liz is almost Post BMT 240 Days
You can make it hang in there
www.caringbridge.com/ok/elizabeth
Jeff Wriker AKA Dad of Liz <wrikes44@yahoo.com>
Enid, OK USA - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 11:13 PM (CDT)

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Hang in there Matt!!!!
This is just a detour in your road in life-a pain in the tush kinda thing!!!!! Just when you had other plans, life happens!!!!!! Thinking alot about you during your battle and praying that things get easier real soon for you!!!! You sound like a fighter, so I'm sure you will win!!!!
Karen <Valenti56@aol.com>
Minneapolis, Mn. - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 10:54 PM (CDT)

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matthew-
I hope you feel better real soon!! Take care! Praying in Austin,Tx for you!!!
Kim
kim stilwell <skelkimtaysyd@aol.com>
- Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 10:49 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew,
I am very sorry you're not feeling well. I heard the bad news. I really hope you get well!!! Best wishes!
Elizabeth Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 07:41 PM (CDT)

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matthew, you are a young man with such wonderful strength. we your family have gained so much from your strength and determination. may god continue to hear our prayers. love to the family. greg, sue, greg jr. and pat
greg,sue ,gregjr. and pat <soccermom121@aol.com>
whitehall, pa lehigh - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 02:42 PM (CDT)

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Saying extra prayers for all of you. I wish I had something uplifting and philosophical to say, but all I can offer you is my heartfelt support.

Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 02:23 PM (CDT)

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Matt, Debbie and Dirk,

We're thinking of you and praying for you.
Al and Mary Heinbokel <mheinbok@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 01:27 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, Debbie and Dirk,
We are all praying lots of extra prayers. Let me know if I can do anything at all!
Pat Finnell <Blasier@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 12:56 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie & Dirk,
I will keep Matthew in my prayers and for your whole family. My name is Suzanne Allen and I have a little girl with ALL. She was dx at 19m and is now almost 4 - she came off treatment on 3/28 of this year. We are learning to breath and hold our breath at the same time... I'm a member of the on-line support group, but haven't written for a while. I know the days are dark with the news, all you can do is take one moment at a time and keep praying. May God carry you all when you don't have the strength. God Bless you.
Suzanne Allen <kg798@aol.com>
Santa Rosa, CA USA - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 11:18 AM (CDT)

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Please know that you are in our prayers!!
LouAnn and Tom Wicker <louannwick@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 09:45 AM (CDT)

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We are sending lots of love and prayers from Rolla, MO! Please let us know if we can help in ANY way. Love, Kim, Brian, and kids
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 08:57 AM (CDT)

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Your family is in my prayers.

Jane Freestone <jwfreestone@earthlink.net>
Silver Spring, MD US - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 07:11 AM (CDT)

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We are praying for Matthew, and all of you.
Michele <samgd11@attcanada.ca>
Ottawa , canada - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 01:03 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and matthew,
Sending prayers and POSITIVE, HEALING thoughts your way. Im so sorry you have to face this...if there is anything Matthew would like or something to cheer him up ...please give me yell...id love to send something from England to brighten up his day.
Lots of Love Sonia....mom to Jakob (4) <sonja_cox@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 12:52 AM (CDT)

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Oh God
I am so sorry to hear of the emergence of leukemic cells.
There is a plan for Matthew's life, and this isnt it, he just has to get through this.
We are all praying for you guys. I dont understand whats wrong with this world that all these kids have to suffer like this...
Chris
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 12:21 AM (CDT)

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Debbie,
We are praying real hard here in Ohio for your son!

Blessings,
Bonnie
http://www.caringbridge.com/page/jamiebowman <rmstephens@worldnet.att.net>
Columbus, Ohio - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 11:13 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, and Matthew,
I am so sorry about Matthew's test results. We will continue to pray for all of you and may Jesus carry you through all of this. Love Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 10:43 PM (CDT)

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Matt - We're pulling for you. Good luck and God bless.

Matt, Day+14, http://www.caringbridge.org/ma/mattconover/
The Conovers <nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 10:19 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt & Family: I read the latest results today of the biopsy. I know the news is not what you want to hear. I've come away from the Doctors on several occassions not liking what I heard. And of course it would depress me for awhile. Until I said no way! I'm not going to focus on bad news. So I would pray. I'd listen to good Christian music. I'd read the Bible. I'd stay focused on what I knew was healthy and good for me. You and your family are an inspiration to many people. Just know that there are hundreds of people taking your cause to the Lord. He does hear. And He does Care! God bless you through this time!
Bill Kaber (Revell's Pastor) <bkbill98@aol.com>
St.Charles, MO USA - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 10:17 PM (CDT)

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So sorry to hear of the news today. Keep a smile on your face, hang in there. :) You sure are one tuff kid!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have a great family and may strength be with all of you. My prayers go out to YOU and YOUR FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!! THINK POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!KEEP A SMILE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tina. H.( Millie Revelle's sister ) <stlrascals143@aol.com>
Florissant, Mo 63031 - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 10:00 PM (CDT)

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Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you - lean on God during this incredibly hard time. He can give peace when peace seems impossible.
God bless,
Lisa Agee (www.caringbridge.com/page/ross) <lagee67@hotmail.com>
Camden, AL - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 10:00 PM (CDT)

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Matt, You don't know me but I am a friend of the Revelle's and Millie and Ronnie are right the Lord will take care of His own and He loves you and I am praying for your total healing. God Bless you and Believe that God will heal and it will happen.
Chris, Pete and Sheri <gen9070@aol.com>
St. Peters, Mo. USA - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 09:59 PM (CDT)

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Matt and Debbie, Just a note to let you know how hard I am praying for you both. I'll be carrying you in my heart.
Amy (Rosie's Mom) Rumberger <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 09:53 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, Debbie & Dirk-Just want you to know we are always thinking about you and saying extra prayers. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you-call anytime, day or night.
Becky Hallemeier <hallemeier5_us@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO usa - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 09:50 PM (CDT)

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GOD LOVES YOU. NO MATTER HOW IT LOOKS AT TIMES,I BELIVE GOD IS GOING TO HEAL YOU TOTTALY ,IM GOING TO BE PRAYING FOR YOU CONTINUSLY , WE HAD A GUEST SPEAKER LAST SUNDAY.HE IS A PROFIT,HE ASKED IF ANYONE WANTED PRAYER TO COME UP FRONT, MILLIE WENT UP & HE PRAYED FOR HER BACK & GUESS WHAT.SHE HASNT HAD VERY FEW PAIN PILLS SENCE, ITS NOT WHAT THE PREACHER DID ITS WHAT JESUS DID THRU HIM AND ANY ELSE THAT BELIEVES YOU CAN BE HEALED, LOVE AND prayers, rON,MILLIE .BENJI
RON REVELLE <RARA34899@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON, MO USA - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 09:08 PM (CDT)

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I just read the update. I am so sorry to read the news. I will be storming Heaven. I'll pray the GVH works.
Anita Moore <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 08:55 PM (CDT)

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Oh Boy,

I just checked back in on you, Matthew. I will lift you up in prayer. I hope today they didn't find anything in the blood. We can pray for virus.

www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore
Anita <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 04:03 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
Praying very hard that everything will come back alright. Hang tough big guy - you can do it. Prayers for your whole family for strength! God loves all of you.
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 03:52 PM (CDT)

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Just checking in before calling it a night. I hope that Dr. Wilson sees only normal cells tomorrow. I will say an extra prayer for Matthew tonight. I hope he is able to get a good night's sleep. Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 11:15 PM (CDT)

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Oh God
I am in the same boat with a few cells that may or may not be leukemic in Ron's also. It just never lets up does it?
I am praying that are just immature lymphocytes or anyting other than cancer cells in both our boys.

Chris
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 11:11 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, and Matthew,
I am so sorry about Matthew's abnormal cell. I wish there was something I could do or say that would help. We will be praying for all of you and hope that you will have good news tomorrow. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 10:42 PM (CDT)

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I will be praying as hard as I possibly can. It's tough to say, "Stay strong," but you will get through this. There are so many people out here supporting you and praying for you.
Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Berea, Ohio USA - Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 03:19 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
I will be storming the heavens with prayers that this will not be a leukemia cell. You've been doing so good, you can make it through this! Stay strong, keep the faith, and please remember there are a ton of people out here (many like me that you don't even know) that keep you and your family in our prayers every day. I'll be waiting for more news - please dear God let it be good news!! God's blessings on you all!!
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 02:40 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, and Matthew,
Sorry to hear that Matthew is back in the hospital. I hope it is nothing serious. He has been doing so well. We will continue to pray for all of you. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 12:06 AM (CDT)

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Debbie and Matthew - glad to see those counts are looking good, and that you had a nice BBQ. Not the time for it in England yet, alas, with its temperamental weather. It must be nice to have your hair grow back too, Matthew - Maximilian is also looking forward to getting his back, as he used to be a real mane man. So good to see that you're well on your way to that 100th day.
Gloria McShane ALL-KIDS, mother of Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS < gmcshane@btinternet.com (www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon)>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 02:37 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and family ~
It's so nice to hear that Matthew is continuing to do well and that y'all enjoyed a nice Memorial Day weekend! I hope the aches and pains he is feeling subside soon and that he only gets stronger with each passing day!
Take care ~
Stacey and family
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 11:01 PM (CDT)

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thank the lord you are doing good.we will keep you uplifted in prayer.RON
Ron REVELLE <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton , mo usa - Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 09:33 PM (CDT)

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So glad Matthew is feeling better. Hope you are enjoying the beautiful day! We went to Meramac Springs Park for the afternoon. After a long walk along the river, we are all tired. I wish you were close by so we could visit. The kids are out of school now, so maybe we can plan a road trip. With love, Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Sunday, May 26, 2002 at 05:50 PM (CDT)

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matt have a good weekend , love & prayers, ron millie & benji
ron r <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgton , mo usa - Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 10:03 PM (CDT)

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hey , thats great you home again, were praying for you dayly, RON MILLIE BENJI.
ron r <rara34899@aol.com>
downtown bridgton mo, mo usa - Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 10:50 PM (CDT)

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So glad he is home! And I hope his lungs remain clear!!!
Chris
Gooch’s Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 10:39 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and family ~
Welcome Home Matthew! There's no place like home! I am so happy to hear that Matthew's lungs are sounding clear and that the bronchoscopy was postponed (or cancelled!) What a strong guy Matthew is! We continue to think of your family often and to keep you all in our prayers!
Love ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 12:44 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt, I'm Mrs. Robins from Bridgeway School. I was not your teacher but I was your breother Christopher's teacher.
I'm praying for you. Keep up the great battle. I'm proud of you.
Mrs. Alice Robins-Shofner <tdshofner@monsanto.com>
Bridgeton, mo USA - Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 01:41 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Matthew, you haven't heard from me in a bit, but I visit your site regularly for the news. I'm sorry that this lung/breathing trouble is complicating things - because the news earlier this week of no leukaemia cells was wonderful.

Hope this is just a passing difficulty, and as always, we are praying for your safe recovery and continued enjoyment of the nice things in life.
Gloria McShane <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 05:10 AM (CDT)

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I hope Matt is feeling better this evening. My prayers are with you and the family.
Tara <babypoohbear@ipa.net>
Joplin, MO - Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 02:16 AM (CDT)

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I am so happy that Matthew is making such GREAT PROGRESS!!! It is wonderful to get such good news. You continue to be in our prayers.
Tom and LouAnn Wicker <louannwick@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 02:21 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie, Dirk, and Matthew,
I just read about your 100% engraftment which was wonderful news! Jeff had planned to come to the blood drive last Wednesday, but he had to go to Dayton, Ohio, on Tuesday and got home Wednesday night. I am glad the blood drive was a big success! Mary's last day of school is May 24, and she is counting the days. We hope Matthew is doing fine, and you are all having a nice weekend. We send our love and prayers. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 09:54 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie, Matthew, and Family ~
I hope this note finds you all relaxing and enjoying a peaceful weekend together! I am happy to hear about your successful Blood Drive too - how wonderful! I hope Matthew continues to feel good and eats lots of pizza! Thank goodness for pizza, huh?!
Take care!
Love, Stacey and Chad
Stacey and Chad Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 12:14 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
Congratulations on your progress. Take it one day at a time and remember God loves you, even if it may not seem like it on a particular day. I'm a patient myself...had an autologus bone marrow transplant on Christmas eve for ALL. If you ever need to talk, email me at bonemarrowtransplantboy@hotmail.com. Best Wishes, Rob.
rob gallienne <bonemarrowtransplantboy@hotmail.com>
cleveland, oh usa - Friday, May 17, 2002 at 09:09 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
I just want to tell you "YOU ARE TOTALLY AWESOME!!!" 100% engraftment is wonderful. I hope and pray that you continue to doing good. You are a very handsome your man and also a very strong and brave one to. Remember God is always watching over you and he will always take care of you. And one more thing, Tommy likes this saying, "GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!!!
Hugs and Prayers,
Dawn Gresham (Tommy's Mom ALL-Kids) <bdmtg@hotmail.com www.caringbridge.com/sc/tommygresham>
Warrenville, SC - Friday, May 17, 2002 at 09:00 AM (CDT)

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Hi, I've had to some catching up to do I sure hope Matthew gets over the cough and congestion. It's miserable being sick. We couldnt make it to the blood drive, but we have very good excuses! Really! Debbie, I will email you. We will keep you all in our prayers, and pray for Matthew to get rid of these symptoms that plague him. Love, Shannon and Ervin.
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 09:56 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, Dirk and Debbie: Hooray!!! Here in South Carolina we are celebrating for you and with you. What wonderful news. God is GOOD! Matthew, keep building up those cells and you'll soon be ready for that beach vacation! Haven't heard such good news in a long time.
george spicer <Gspicer@hargray.com>
Bluffton, SC - Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 09:39 AM (CDT)

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What great news! Congratulations, Matthew, on the 100% engraftment!
Al and Mary Heinbokel <mheinbok@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, May 15, 2002 at 12:23 PM (CDT)

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Congratulations Matthew and to all of you! 100% engraftment is outstanding news!!




Pat Finnell <Blasier@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO - Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 06:40 PM (CDT)

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*C*O*N*G*R*A*T*U*L*A*T*I*O*N*S* Matthew on your achievement -- as a result of lots of determination!! Such great news and you're making such good progress towards conquering this beast! Keep up the great work, it's obviously showing and is very rewarding to us all.

Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 04:25 PM (CDT)

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Way to go Matthew!!! 100% you can't get any better than that. Here's to hoping the rest of the ride is very smooth! I'm still praying, along with everyone else, that each day is better than the last one. God's blessings on your whole family.
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 03:56 PM (CDT)

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100% engraftment! That is fantastic news!!! I was so thrilled to read the news. Debbie, you are not only a fantastic mom, but a wonderful sister (and daughter to OUR mother) as well. Thanks for the support the last week. With love, Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 10:14 AM (CDT)

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OH MY GOSH!
All I can say is, "WOW!!" Congratulations to Matthew for 100% Engraftment! This is absolutely wonderful news! Praise the Lord! Oh we are so happy for your family! What an inspiration you all are to others. We will continue to pray for Matthew's health and happiness! Take care and thank you so much for keeping us updated!
Love, The Wadas
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 09:00 AM (CDT)

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YEAH!!!YEAH!!!YEAH!!!We are soooooo excited for the Hallemeiers! you all have to be so thrilled and we couldnt be happier for you! Debbie and Dirk, I know you have to be so grategful for answered prayers, we will keep praying for Matthew and you all!!! Pam and Angela
pam and angela <pdiede@yahoo.com>
ofallon, mo usa - Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 08:55 AM (CDT)

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yeeeeeehaaaaaaa!!!!!! Oh my gosh, I couldnt believe what my eyes were telling my brain. 100% Engraftment!!!! You all surely have been blessed, as well as the person who choose to give some of his life produceing bone marrow, that in turn, gave life back to Matthew who we all know will shine for the rest of his life, with the marrow from a miracle maker. God must have a very unique road paved for Matthew, and it will be thrilling to see it unfold. So a big "High Five" to mom and Matthew, and Congratulations!!! You all surely made my day!!!!! Love, Shannon and Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO Usa - Monday, May 13, 2002 at 10:45 PM (CDT)

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WOW! GLAD YOUR DOING GOOD . KEEP UP THE GOOD REPORTS , THE LORD TAKES CARE OF HIS OWN.WE WILL KEEP PRAYING FOR COMPLETE HEALING, LOVE YA . RON MILLIE & BENJI
RON <RARA34899@AOL.COM>
DOWNTOWN BRIDGETON, MO USA - Monday, May 13, 2002 at 10:41 PM (CDT)

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Congratulations to Matthew and family on this latest good news! Keep up the fight - you are winning!
Janet Guild <guildt001@hawaii.rr.com>
Wahiawa, HI - Monday, May 13, 2002 at 10:28 PM (CDT)

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FANTASTIC NEWS!!! 100% ENGRAFTMENT!!.......WOOOO HOOOO!!!
Keep up the great work of getting better Matthew!! Thanks for your constant updates Debbie. You're amazing and a SUPER MUM! Hey, you're a CHAMPION family!!
Love & cuddles from Down Under!
Liz & family XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family (ALL-KIDS) <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Monday, May 13, 2002 at 06:54 PM (CDT)

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Way to go Matthew!!!!!! You are one amazing kid! Never forget that.
Laurie (mom to Kaleigh almost 7 Dx ALL 6/99 OT 8/01 <mlkttk@aol.com>
Noblesville, In - Monday, May 13, 2002 at 04:34 PM (CDT)

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I hope you had a very special Mothers Day.

I hope everything gets better real soon. I am glad that Matthew is fever free. I hope they find out about his cough and pain real soon.

www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore
Anita <anitamo@charter.net>
- Monday, May 13, 2002 at 10:34 AM (CDT)

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hey Debbie
Glad to see all is well
except for the lingering questions you need to find out about (knees / fungus in nose)
Way to go with front page pix too!
And, of course,

Chris

Gooch's Page
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 09:33 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew, Debbie & Dirk, Just staying in touch to send our prayers and thoughts. We will be praying about results of the bone marrow biopsy. This waiting has to be so hard.
Sure hope they can do something about the coughing and pain in legs. I'm just so touched by all you've had to endure and will continue praying for God's healing and strength.
Hope your week-end is good at Julie's graduation. Love, Charlene and Wayne Clark
Charlene Clark <ckclark@accessus.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 10:54 AM (CDT)

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Hello to the whole gang! Congratulations to Julie! Debbie, You have so much going on in life, I think I would have lost my mind a long time ago. I sure hope Matthew does not have any virus. I just got over sinusitus and I was miserable. That Augmentin should nip it in the bud. I took Karen to get her compression fracture looked at today at St.Lukes, a DR.LANG, he was a specialist in hands and writsts. She broke her Right arm. He showed us the two bones that were bowed out, then Karen picked a Red cast, which has to be on for four weeks, then we recheck it. Life is full of twists and turns! It's not fair that your twists and turns are getting tangled!!!!!We will keep you in our prayers, and pray for Matthews complete healing. Enjoy your trip to Kentucky. Love and Prayers, Shannon and Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 02:59 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie ~
Happy Mother's Day Weekend! Sounds like your family's been doing a lot of celebrating with your birthday,Christopher's birthday, now Julie's graduation and Mother's Day too! Whew!
I'm sorry to hear what an ongoing struggle it is to get test results for Matthew and having to push for answers (like the possible sinus infection). But don't ever stop! You are the BEST advocate for Matthew and you deserve answers to any and all questions you have regarding his health care. I pray that the antibiotics kick that congestion and he is FINE soon! How frustrating that you haven't gotten the BMA results yet either......grrrrrr.....the wait must be excruciating! But at least you have all these happy celebrations to keep you distracted! Sigh. I am thinking of you and sending a big cyber hug from afar! {{{{{{{{{Debbie}}}}}}}}}}}}
Hang in there!
Love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, May 10, 2002 at 11:28 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
I love the new picture your mom posted of you and the Doc!! You look great. I hope you are starting to feel better and not coughing up so much "yuck". I'm glad you will be getting to go to your sister's graduation, I'm sure that will mean alot to her. I so wish you would have gotten the reports before you left, there is nothing worse than waiting!! Don't these people realize we don't have the patience to wait for results forever!! I'm sure the report will be great when you get it. Give your Mom and extra *Hug* for Mother's Day, she certainly seems like one in a million. God bless all of you on your trip and have a wonderful weekend!!
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Friday, May 10, 2002 at 02:08 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, and Matt,
Sorry to hear about your cough and I hope you are feeling better. Just wanted to say hi and to tell you we are always thinking about you and praying for you. Have a good time this weekend. I am sure Julie is very excited! Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach @hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 11:56 PM (CDT)

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS,HI MATT, HOPE EVERYTHING IS OK WE ARE PRAYING THAT YOU WILL BE HEALED TOTTALY THINKING OF YOU ALWAYS RON MILLIE BENJI.& GRAW TO
RON <RARA34899@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON, MO USA - Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 08:36 PM (CDT)

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Not to steal your limelight Matthew -- but Happy Birthday Christopher!! I attended a committee meeting tonight for the Leukemia Society and it really made me think about my special friends that are continuing to battle this disease with such strength and courage, as you are Matthew. It is really heartwarming to give back in any way that I can. I had to drop by for a visit and to let you know that I'm thinking about you out here in California. I hope they can determine what is causing the pain in your legs and give you some extra meds to fight that virus you might have.

Always wishing you the best,
Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim (Home of Disneyland and the Anaheim Angels), CA - Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 12:22 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt and the rest of the Hallemeier family! It's your former 4th grade teacher from Bridgeway - Mrs. Porzelt. I just found out about your web site and plan to check it often. I think of you often. Take care.
Robin Porzelt <porzelt@mindspring.com>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 09:17 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matthew. Sounds like you're heading out for a road trip. What a beautiful time of year to see the rolling hills and mountains of Kentucky. I hope it does not rain on your parade!! I hope Matthew feels well on the drive down and back. That's where the pillows come in!!!! Lots and lots of pillows. I think we had more pillows and blankets on our last road trip than we did luggage!! But we did travel in comfort, and the kids made tents with their blankets, when they got bored, or played cards in their little tents. Have you considered renting or buying "Books on Tape". If it's a quiet ride, or your into Harry Potter, this would be a great time to "listen to the story". And you don't have to miss any scenery reading!!!
Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
PS. Don't speed in Kentucky, that state has a reputation for hideing smokies (bears in the woods, C-B lingo for police radar set up).
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 08:24 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and family ~
Wow, Matthew's got a great ANC! I am also happy to hear that the calcium is helping to alleviate the leg pains. Hey, how did you move the family photo to the front page?! I love it! We are continuing to keep your family in our prayers, and especially that Matthew just keeps improving every day! We'll look forward to more good news with the other test results soon!
Take care!
Love ~
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 08:18 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt, It's Lauren Stein. I really miss hanging out with you. Happy Birthday, sorry it's late I haven't talked to you in a year, I turned 16 too but I haven't gotten my driver's liscence (my b-day was in Nov.) Oh well, I just wanted to say hi and that I hope we can keep in touch, feel free to e-mail me whenever I would love to catch up!
Hopefully I will talk to you soon and I know this sounds corny but I really think about you everyday and I hope that your beat you illness.
Lauren Stein <LazyLaur18@AOL.com>
- Monday, May 06, 2002 at 06:17 PM (CDT)

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Hey Matt! Sorry it has been so long since my last note. Chris and I have been on vacation and out of town for about the last three weeks, and are finally starting to get back to "normal" around here. I just wanted to drop you a note to let you know that I am thinking about you and that you are in our thoughts and prayers. We miss you.
Julie Bushre <baconj54@Hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO - Monday, May 06, 2002 at 05:20 PM (CDT)

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Dear Dirk, Debbie, and Matt,
I hope the results of your bone marrow biopsy are good today. We will be thinking about you and praying for you. Jeff's mom left this morning to go back to Vermont. She got in on Thursday, and we had a nice visit. I will check on all of you later tonight. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach @hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, May 06, 2002 at 09:05 AM (CDT)

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HI MATT I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU TODAY,QUITE AN APATITE, ! YOU HAVE A VERY WONDERFULL MOM, & DAD WE LOVE & PRAY FOR YOU DAYLY BENJI SAID HI! HES PLAYING GOLF, RON MILLIE BENJI .
RON REVELLE <RARA34899@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON, MO USA - Sunday, May 05, 2002 at 03:40 PM (CDT)

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Hi Hallemeier Family! We keep checking with this page to follow Matt's progress, am glad that things are quiet. Debbie, I'm not so sure all the food Matthew eats is because of the steroids, Brian ate like that for years - it may be because he's a teenage boy! Congrats to Julie on graduation, way to go Jules! All the moms from Bridgeway say hi and are praying for continued progress toward a healthy Matthew. Hugs to you all, Cathy W.
Cathy Wallace <cmwal4@aol.com>
- Sunday, May 05, 2002 at 07:14 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matthew, I sure hope you get to feeling better real soon, God knows you been through enough already!
It is good to hear the results of the engraftment. Thank God for miracles and people who donate blood and bone marrow. It sure makes you think twice when it is in regards to your own son or family member. We will keep you all in our prayers. Love, Shanno and Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Wentzville, MO usa - Sunday, May 05, 2002 at 02:07 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie~
Chad's "afterschool snack" today consisted of two ham and cheese Hot Pockets, a bowl of chicken noodle soup, a slice of pepperoni pizza, 4 peanut butter cookies, and two cans of Hi-C. And he's only 9 years old! But a 9 yr. old on steroids! Whew, I just can't keep up! I am glad to hear that Matthew continues to have a good appetite too! I will keep praying that his leg pains subside soon. Sounds like your family has a busy week ahead! Wonderful!
Take care and have a great weekend!
Love,
Stacey and family
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, May 03, 2002 at 09:43 PM (CDT)

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Happy (Belated) Birthday Debbie~
So glad to hear you got to enjoy dinner out with your family! I hope Matthew continues to feel good and his blood pressure stabilizes too. The blood drive in his honor is wonderful!
Take care,
Stacey and Family
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 03:43 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matthew. And a happy birthday to you Debbie. Sounds like you all are eating well! I cant remember the last time we were in a
restaurant, the kind where you get your food brought to your table.!! We were so glad to hear of Matthews bone marrow biopsy. Things are looking up. Keep up those wonderfull updates. We continue to pray for you all. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin


Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 10:57 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,
That is so awesome that a blood drive in being held in your honor. Because of you and those who donate, many other lives will be saved. I am praying for you.
Cindy Coffman <cpcoffman@juno.com; www.caringbridge.com/ga/hillarycoffman>
Cumming, GA USA - Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 10:00 PM (CDT)

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glad to here its lookin good , were praying for you dayly, ron millie benji
ron <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo usa - Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 09:55 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew, Debbie & Dirk: We are so happy to hear you are doing so well. God is answering our prayers for you & the prayers are continuing each day! Just know that you are in our thoughts & prayers each day. Jesus is right there with you also - never lose hope & keep up the faith! May God continue to bless all of you. Love, Bill & Phyllis Criss
Phyllis Criss <wlpjcriss@worldnet.att.net>
St. Charles, Mo USA - Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 02:46 PM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, and Matt,
I was so happy to read that the bone marrow test results were good! Sorry that Matt has had so much pain in his legs. All of you are in our thoughts and prayers daily.
You are doing a wondeful job, Debbie, taking care of Matt. I do not know how you do it. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 08:42 AM (CDT)

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEBBIE!!!!!!! I'm sure that each day of good news is a gift to you. It sounds like Matthew's appointment at the hospital went well. We cannot wait to hear the test results next week. We'll pray for good news. Much love. Kim, Brian, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 08:14 AM (CDT)

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matt glad that the first report is good hang in there , love ya, ron, millie, benji
ron <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgeton, mo usa - Monday, April 29, 2002 at 10:19 PM (CDT)

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Matthew , it's Grandmother. I am keeping track of you via the journal. I pray you will be more comfortable soon. I'm so glad that the first report of your biopsy was good. "Hang in there" Love.
Hazel Fackler <nuthazel22@aol.com>
St Charles, Mo USA - Monday, April 29, 2002 at 10:13 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew,

Just checking in on you -- hope all went well today with your tests. Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you out here in California. I'll keep checking for updates on your site.

Vicki Hoffman (ALL Kids) ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Monday, April 29, 2002 at 06:22 PM (CDT)

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Hang in there, Matthew. We will be anxiously awaiting good news from your day at the hospital. Hope your leg pains get better soon. That sounds so painful. Love you. Kim and family
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Monday, April 29, 2002 at 05:24 PM (CDT)

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Good morning Debbie and Matthew ~
My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this moment, as you are probably at clinic getting the BMA done as well as the Aredia infusion. I will check back here later for the GREAT news of 0% leukemia cells and 100% engraftment! I pray that Matthew's nightly leg pains subside very soon also. Looking forward to hearing from you safe and sound back home tonight.
Sending lots of love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, April 29, 2002 at 09:50 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie and Matthew, we will be praying for 100% engraftment and absolutely NO lukemia cells allowed!!!!!!!!
Stay strong and and have faith!! It takes a lot to stay so
organized with all your kids schedules, but your doing a great job! Hang in there!!And Matthew, we will certainly be praying for healing and comfort and freedom from all this pain! Keep up the fight!!!Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin.
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, Mo usa - Sunday, April 28, 2002 at 10:20 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Matt-

I am so sorry you are having such pains Matt. I know the steroids caused major leg pain in Mitchell too. I will keep you in my prayers for Monday's office visit. Hang in there buddy, you are doing great!!!

Love, Diane and Mitchell Mathis
Diane Mathis <Stubby3620@AOL.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 04:39 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie ~
I do believe you deserve an honorary medical degree for the amount of information you've had to absorb over the last month! I pray that all Matthew's meds interact agreeably and that he will not experience such extreme discomfort again. With so much disappointing news on our list recently, it is so nice to share your "normal" moments with Matthew (like eating a burger and fries!) You both continue to inspire the rest of us still in the trenches! Thanks!
Here's wishing your family a wonderful weekend ~
Stacey

Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 09:37 AM (CDT)

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Wow Debbie!!!It's a good thing Matthew has you for a mother. Kind of ironic how God works his miracles when we do recognize one. I hope you are taking a multivitamin and trying to eat healthy because you sure do need your strength to handle all the stress, rush hour traffic and most importantly, caring for Matthew. Hang in there, things have got to get better!!!!!! We will say an extra special prayer for you both, and for good results on the bone marrow biopsy Monday. Keep us posted. You are constantly in our thoughts. Love, Shannon and Ervin PS. God must be giving you the strenth to handle all of this, for I don't see how you do it. :)
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Friday, April 26, 2002 at 11:24 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie, Dirk, and Matt,
Sorry that you have been in so much pain the last few days. I hope you have a restful and peaceful night. You are in our thoughts and prayers everyday. May Jesus take away your pain and give you patience and strength to get through all of this. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, April 26, 2002 at 11:00 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matthew, I hope you are feeling better. I bet all that grocery shopping will plump you up! It sure beats hospital food! My sister goes into the hospital on Monday to have her entire large intestine removed due to Ulcerative Colitis, her first major surgery. She will need some prayers sent her way too! I know Matthew can relate to that type of pain! We will hope for a fast and pain free recovery for both of you!!Love and Prayers, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Friday, April 26, 2002 at 10:38 PM (CDT)

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Debbie ~
I'm sorry to hear about Matthew's back and headache pain. It is late now, and I am praying that he is resting comfortably and is fast asleep. Take care, I will be checking back with you soon! Sending lots of love always,
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Friday, April 26, 2002 at 01:36 AM (CDT)

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Hey Matt! That is great that you are home and getting well! Keep up the good work and keep fighting! Hope you have a more comfortable day tomorrow! Love and prayers, Jillian
Jillian Clemens <JillGG7@aol.com>
Chicago, IL - Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 10:09 PM (CDT)

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Hi,

I came by to check on Matthews. I am so sorry to here about all the pain. Matthew, I hope you get to feeling better really soon. Praying in Southeast Missouri!!!

www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore
Anita Moore <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 06:25 PM (CDT)

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Matthew,

I'm sorry to read about the continued pain you seem to be experiencing. I hope they can find relief SOON! I'll be praying for the comfort you so desperately need.

Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 05:30 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matthew and Debbie, sounds like you have been quite busy! I feel for Matthew and his back pains. When your back hurts it seems like everything hurts. My mother gave me a jar of China Gel, a topical gel that consists of natural ingrediants, and I use it on the kids, myself, anything that hurts and is sore. Especially BACKS!!!!It would be worth a try for Matthew, as it has given us relief from many a mucle spasm. I have an extra Jar, un-opened. If you would like to try it, call us and Ervin can run it over, it really does work! We will keep Matthew in our prayers as always. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 12:14 PM (CDT)

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I really sincerely hope the pains he is experiencing goes away
and I cant believe you have a wedding too coming up! Congrats!!!
Chris <chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
www.caringbridge.com/page/gooch - Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 01:26 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt & Family. I've been keeping close tabs on your condition and we've been praying for you. I am the Revelle's Pastor from St.Peters.
I was diagnosed over three years ago with Multiple Myloma, a bone cancer. The cancer is in remission, of which I am very thankful to God. For he is the only reason why I'm here.
I know Matt there is a reason for all of this. Of which we may not understand right now; however, you must continue to trust the Lord and keep a great attitude. I saw your pictures today for the first time, you all are a great looking family. I was amazed at how happy and content you all seemed. You know you can tell a lot by looking into the eyes of people. I'm not saying you don't have down time; but I'm sure you all always hope for the best, as I do also. May God continue to bless and keep you strong. I will be praying for you Matt.
Bill Kaber <bkbill98@aol.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 12:33 AM (CDT)

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Matt:)
JUST THOUGHT I WOUOLD SAY HEY, AND LET U U KNOW THAT I AM THINKING ABOUT U, AND PRAYING FOR U AND YOUR FAMILY EVERYDAY. AND AS SOON AS U FEEL BETTER ME AND RONNIE &
BENJI AND GRAW WANT TO COME VISIT U AND SEE YOUR NEW HOUSE. AND WE R PRAYING WITH ALOT OF PEOPLE THAT YOU BONE M. WORKS OUT JUST FINE AND I REALLY BELIEVE THAT U ARE GOEN TO LICK THIS WITH EASE. AND HOPING DOWN THE RAOD A LITTLE THAT U WOULD EVEN BE UP TO COMING OVER AND MAYBE EEN SPENDING THE NIGHT AGAIN SOON, LIKE OLD TIMES.
WELL BETTER GET TO WORK, TALK TO YA SOON.

LOVE & PRAYERS
MILLIE
(XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX):)
Millie Revelle <Countrygrl1107@aol.com>
Bridgeton, Mo USA - Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 10:45 AM (CDT)

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Awesome counts for Matthew! He is amazing (so is his family). I am so proud of you guys. Go Donor Cells Go! You guys are awe-inspiring!!!
Amy & Rosie Rumberger <TimRumb@aol.com>
Alameda, CA USA - Tuesday, April 23, 2002 at 03:56 PM (CDT)

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So glad to hear such good news following Matthew's appointment! Keep it up! You are always in our thoughts and prayers. Kim, Brian, and kids
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Tuesday, April 23, 2002 at 09:42 AM (CDT)

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GREAT COUNTS!! GREAT NEWS!! Keep up the good work of getting better Matthew! What an inspiration you are!
Love & cuddles to you & all the family!
Liz, Murray, Adam (just OT and looks like chicken pox has just arrived!), Joshua & Bethany XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Tuesday, April 23, 2002 at 05:38 AM (CDT)

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Matthew and Debbie - every time I hit your site, I'm so delighted to see you keep getting better. Glad to see that your steroid dose hopefully won't be hurting you as much - that sounded really painful. Okay, I know everyone should always say knock wood, but we'll pray that you keep the good news coming!
Gloria McShane (ALL-KIDS), mother to Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, UK - Tuesday, April 23, 2002 at 03:14 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, and Matt,
Just read the good news about Matt's tests. YEA!! We will continue to pray for all of you. May God continue to give you strength each day. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach @hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, April 22, 2002 at 11:58 PM (CDT)

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Hey glad to hear your doing so well. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep your chin up and a smile on your face. You have the best nurse in the world!!!!!!!
By the way I am Millie Revelle's sister.
Tina Hodgkins <stlrascals143@aol.com>
Florissant, Mo - Monday, April 22, 2002 at 06:57 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie,
Glad to hear the ACE bandages are helping Matthew somewhat. I'm sure the tapering of the steroids will help also! Sounds like everything is going smoothly for you folks ~ I'm so glad! Hope all goes well at Matt's appt. today too. Sending more hugs and prayers!
Stacey and family
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Monday, April 22, 2002 at 11:07 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie, Dirk, and Matt,
I am glad that you are doing well, and I hope your test results are good tomorrow. We are keeping all of you in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 11:24 PM (CDT)

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Matthew, Hi, Don't know if you really know us, we're Robert & Jane [Tuffi] Wylde, we're related the Benji, Millie, and Ronnie Revelle. Just wanted to let you know that we have been praying for you and your family. Would love to email you and just chat, PLEASE FEEL TO EMAIL ME ANYTIME YOU NEED SOMEBODY TO TALK TO OR JUST LISTEN......LET ME KNOW IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU.....GOD BLESS YOU..
ROBERT & JANE [TUFFI] WYLDE <TUFFTOYS@SWBELL.NET>
ARNOLD, MO. USA - Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 09:28 PM (CDT)

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hey matt whats up , glad to get your website we sure miss you, we pray that you will get all better,someday , we want to come out & see you sometime, just let us know wnen is a good time, benji is playing golf, every day, he on golf team at school, he thinks he is a pro!!! lol.may god bless you and keep you in his healing hands , love and prayers , Ron.millie.benji. r
ron millie & benji Revelle <rara34899@aol.com>
bridgton, mo us - Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 06:47 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie ~
No news is good news! I just wanted to stop by and wish you and your family (and Matthew especially, of course!) a peaceful and relaxing weekend! Hope everything is continuing to be boring and uneventful!!
Thinking of you!
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 11:05 AM (CDT)

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I'm so glad to hear that Matthew is home and doing well. What a blessing! I continue to pray for all of you!
Cindy Coffman <www.caringbridge.com/ga/hillarycoffman; cpcoffman@juno.com>
Cumming, GA USA - Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 07:28 AM (CDT)

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Hi all,

Glad to read that there isn't much to report -- they say "no news is good news" and that is such relief, I'm sure. Hope you all are enjoying having Matthew home, it must feel so great. Matthew, continue with your fantastic progress. We are all proud of you and your strength -- a true warrior! Enjoy your weekend.

My best,
Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Friday, April 19, 2002 at 11:04 PM (CDT)

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Hello Matthew and Debbie, hope things are running smoothly. It has been so hot we have our air conditioner on!!!! What happened to spring??? We are keeping Matthew in our prayers daily. Love Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin

Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Thursday, April 18, 2002 at 10:04 PM (CDT)

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Glad to read all the good news. Keep up the good fight!


Anita Moore <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Thursday, April 18, 2002 at 08:06 AM (CDT)

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Matt,
We're glad your doing good. We really hope you are cured.
Elizabeth and class <csmith@rolla.k12.mo.us>
Rolla, MO - Wednesday, April 17, 2002 at 03:03 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie ~
We join you in the boredom-at-home club. Chad's ANC yesterday was a low 207 so we are stuck at home for the rest of the week and he is off all chemo and meds for a week as well. But he is happily singing and dancing around the house so I am quietly counting our blessings! I hope things continue to be boring and uneventful at your house too! I am so happy to hear Matthew is healing like a real champ!! He is awesome!
Have a good day!
Love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV - Wednesday, April 17, 2002 at 10:18 AM (CDT)

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Glad you're home, Matt and that you're improving every day.
Al and Mary Heinbokel <mheinbok@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, April 17, 2002 at 09:21 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matthew,
Matthew's engraftment reminds me of the Christmas movie
"It's a wonderful life", as Matthew, in your case "gets another chance at Life". Not a year goes by that we don't watch that movie, over and over. I hope Mathews new bone marrow will give him life-forever!!!!!!!I am glad you are still up-dateing every day, because we wonder every day how he is doing, and check each evening for an update. Keep up the good work, both of you!!!!!Whoever gave that marrow surely must have gotten his "wings"! We will pray that things continue to run smoothly and that Matthew has little or none of the graft vs. host symptoms, and that he continues to improve till he's totally free of this lukemia. And Debbie, Keep up the great work, as you are the "other half" of his recovery.
For he is soooo lucky to have a mother like YOU:)
Love~~~~Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin



Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Wednesday, April 17, 2002 at 03:38 AM (CDT)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk, and Matt,
Glad to hear you had a boring day, and I hope you have many more to come. I think you all have had enough excitement for a lifetime. Mary prays for you every night, Matt. Thanks, Debbie, for keeping all of us informed. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 11:29 PM (CDT)

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Great update Matthew! By the sounds of it, you are progressing very well. A little GVHD will show that your body's is fighting back, as long as it keeps under control. Continue the baby steps and it won't be long until your making strides. Good work!!

Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 05:13 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt,
I hope you are doing well. My teacher let my class get on your web site. They want to say hi and wish you the best!!


Elizabeth and class <csmith@rolla.k12.mo.us>
Rolla, MO - Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 03:10 PM (CDT)

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Debbie ~
Your first sentence in yesterday's journal says it all!! I am truly amazed and thrilled to hear how well Matthew is doing and that his recovery has been relatively "easy" so far! I do hope his aches and pains subside soon, and that his counts continue to stabilize. He is a true Hero to all of us keeping an eye on him from ALL KIDS!
God Bless Your Family ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 10:17 AM (CDT)

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Hi Dirk, Debbie, and Matt,
I just read your journal for yesterday and today. It's hard to comprehend all that you are going through with all the medicines and tests. I know this has to be very difficult on all of you. I am glad that your tests came out good, and we will continue to pray for all of you. May God send you an angel to help you get through all of this and be rid of this horrible disease. We send all of our love. Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 12:00 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew and Debbie, I have been wondering about you two and how things were going. Seems like you've crossed one bridge and yet you have another to cross. You must have tons of patience. We will keep Matthew in our prayers as well as the rest of your family. It's gotta be nice to be back at home, no wonder Matthew is feeling good. Take care, Love-Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Monday, April 15, 2002 at 11:25 PM (CDT)

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Hello to Debbie, Dirk, and Matthew!
We are so glad to hear that everything is going great so far. I'm sure Matthew is glad to be home to your home cooked meals. I got hungry just hearing about yours. Debbie, this would be a good time to work on your photo albums. I have many years worth of photos if you get caught up! Ha! Took my tax return (with a big check) to the post office today. The line for the counter stretched all the way to the front door. With all of the money we pay, you'd think they'd hire a few extra workers on April 15. We continue to keep you in our prayers. Lots of Love. Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Monday, April 15, 2002 at 02:42 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie, Dirk, and Matt,
So glad to know that things are going well and that you were able to go out to eat. I am sure all of you needed an evening out. I finally finished my taxes last night and am waiting to hear whether they were accepted electronically. We wiil continue to pray for all of you. I admire your strength, Debbie and Matt. You are an inspiration to me! We send all our love. Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, April 14, 2002 at 06:58 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and family ~
I'm back from an *exciting* weekend at the Nevada State PTA Convention in Primm! Whew, glad to be back home! It's great to hear that Matthew continues to feel good! I am happy you all got to go out to dinner too ~ how nice and "normal"! We are continuing to pray for Matthew's total recovery and well-being. Thanks for keeping us updated so often!!
Take care,
Love~ Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Sunday, April 14, 2002 at 10:16 AM (CDT)

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Hi guys,
Mom, low-key is the best kind of entry!!!
My {continued} best to all of you!

Chris <chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
www.caringbridge.com/page/gooch - Sunday, April 14, 2002 at 02:32 AM (CDT)

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Hello to the family, dinner out sure sounds good! Where is that restaurant? When your ready for a good steak and baked potatoe or a baked sweet potatoe, (your choice)we will have to treat you to Harry J's Steakhouse. That place is outta this world delicous. It's in Moscow Mills. It has a reputation for it's excellent cuts of steak, not to mention, salad, hot bread w/butter etc. I chose the baked sweet potatoe, served up just like a white one but with brown sugar on the side, it was scrumptious! My kids wondered why my potatoe was orange???I had to laugh:)!!!!!
So keep Harry J's in your mind and call us when your ready to go. Matthew-you keep plugging along, you're going to get a little better each day, I can't imagine how hard this has been on you, but it surely has made you into a strong and sympathetic guy!! Enjoy your time at home, when you do get out, don't forget to look at all the pretty spring flowering trees and daffodils you may have missed, Spring is my favorite time of the year, not to hot, not to cold! And everything is coming to life. Just like your transplant!!!! I hope that sore back is getting a little better. We'll keep you in our prayers. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO Usa - Saturday, April 13, 2002 at 11:27 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt,
We were glad to hear you got home. Hope that every day you will feel better. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

Love
Joan & Ray

Joan Hallemeier <bhallemeier@aol.com >
St. Charles, Mo. - Saturday, April 13, 2002 at 07:40 PM (CDT)

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Hi again! I just wrote a message and did not explain who I am. My name is Sarah Powell and I am one of Jules sorority sisters. I recently lost my father in December (two days after Christmas) to lung cancer. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. But today I know I am a stronger person and I know that tomorrow will be just the same. I feel that I already know you and the family because I understand what it is like. I am so glad to hear that you are home Matt, home always makes you feel better. Does the Neupregen make your bones hurt? My father had to use that stuff and he hated it..it made his bones hurt, so I was just wondering. Well thanks for keeping me updated and of course you are in my daily thoughts.
Love
Sarah P
Sarah Powell <sarah.powell@murraystate.edu>
- Saturday, April 13, 2002 at 02:41 AM (CDT)

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Hey Jules,
Thank you so much for being such a wonderful "first alpha gam friend" this year. I also think it is great that you can share your brother's struggles with your sisters. I love knowing what is happening and any small improvements brighten any day. I can say this from the bottom of my heart since I experienced it first hand with my father.
Love
Sarah Powell
Sarah Powell <sarah.powell@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY 42071 - Saturday, April 13, 2002 at 02:29 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew and Debbie, I am glad to hear that Matthews' appetite is stirring, even if it's from the steroids, home cooked food surely tastes better than hospital food. In fact a rootbeer float sounds good about now.:) Sure beats the TPN! I hope Matthews back is feeling better now that he can sleep in his own bed. We will all continue to pray for him. There are at least three church congregations praying for Matthew, where friends of mine attend. We will all continue to pray for him. Take Care. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin

Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Friday, April 12, 2002 at 10:01 PM (CDT)

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A Happy Homecoming for the Hallemeiers!!!
Matt: You have done it. You made it through some pretty rough times and now you are back home in your own room. No more nurses to wake you up all night long, although it sounds like your mom gets an early morning start with your IV meds. What an incredible blessing that she is a nurse and can take such good care of you. I have had to teach regular moms how to do all that stuff your mom is doing so naturally. They generally get very stressed out and that is not usually a very pretty picture. Hope those counts continue to hang in there, even without the neupogen. And remember getting sick is definitely not allowed. We are so happy for ya' all.
You will remain in our prayers,
George and Sherri
PS Start thinking of a South Carolina vacation.
sherri spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
Bluffton, SC - Friday, April 12, 2002 at 09:03 PM (CDT)

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Welcome Home!! Hope all is well, and isn't it great to be in your own bed? Thank you, Debbie, for all the updates. Your family is always in our prayers. We think of you always. Love, Anita and Clare Knight
Anita and Clare Knight <ClaudeKn@aol.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, April 12, 2002 at 02:52 PM (CDT)

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It is wonderful to know you are home. There's no place lik your own bed!! Take care and we hope all of you can get some good rest. You are always in our prayers. Thank you, Debbie, for this wonderful communication.

Anita and Clare Knight <ClaudeKn@aol.com>
- Friday, April 12, 2002 at 02:46 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matthew and Debbie,

I hope his back get better really soon. When I was reading about the back today. I thought of Holly when she
got shingles. Her back and shoulders hurt really bad before the spots and rash came. I know that most BMT
patients get shingles, too. You may want to watch for that. That is just food for thought. We will pray for relief of the pain.

Enjoy the freedom,
Anita


Anita Moore <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Friday, April 12, 2002 at 07:26 AM (CDT)

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SO GLAD TO HERE YOU ARE HOME MATT. DEBBIE KEEP UP THE WONDERFUL ATTITUDE. I LIVE HERE IN O'FALLON, AND AM AN ONCOLOGY NURSE(ADULTS). I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. I WOULD LOVE TO E-MAIL YOU PRIVATELY, IF THAT WOULD BE ALRIGHT W/YOU......MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU..ANGIE
ANGI <angitim@msn.com>
O'Fallon, MO - Friday, April 12, 2002 at 12:14 AM (CDT)

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Wow Matt home already...I'm so happy for you. I just want to say thank you for allowing me the privledge of being a part of your new beginning on life. I just knew you were going to do great. I also wanted to say Mom you are a great mom. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers...Stay sweet and have fun at home. Oh and if you would like to write and keep me posted on how things are going or mom if you need a new cyber buddy to vent too. feel free to e-mail me at fitzmary@yahoo.com.......One of your many night nurse fans..
Mary Stephens <fitzmary@yahoo.com>
Florissant, Mo. USA - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 10:28 PM (CDT)

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I just read the journal and saw that you are HOME. There's no place like it ,is there? I am so happy you are improving.. I got the pictures back from your birthday. They are good like your mother's especially of the grandparents and your cards.Ha! You are still im my prayers.
When I get completely over this cold I will look in on you
Love, GRandmother
Hazel Fackler <nuthazel22@aol.com>
ST.Charles, Mo USA - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 09:58 PM (CDT)

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I'm so glad that you are HOME!! You will remain in our prayers. You can look forward to feeling better and better each day!!
LouAnn Wicker
Tom and LouAnn Wicker <louannwick@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 07:05 PM (CDT)

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W E L C O M E *** H O M E!!

Great work Matthew -- glad to hear that you're home already. Get yourself some rest and enjoy the sunshine.

My best to you and your family,
Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 04:07 PM (CDT)

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Debbie and Matthew ~
WELCOME HOME!!!!! It's great to hear that you are back home again! I hope that Matthew continues to improve and his back pain goes away soon. I'm sorry to hear about the mouth pain..........but the appetite and bacon sandwich cravings are good signs! We continue to pray for your precious family, and we hope you have a great weekend getting settled back at home!
Take care,
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 02:52 PM (CDT)

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A big High-Five to Matthew, Debbie, and Dirk!!!!!!!!I was so happy to read those blood counts and hear the news that Matthew is going to be set free!!!!! I know you will continue to do much better once you get back home. I am so happy for you!! And to Debbie~~~~~~as a mother, you amaze me, for being so strong, and staying on the optimistic side through all these treatments. I hope Matthew knows how lucky he is to have a mom that is not only an RN but very knowledgeable and able to give him such extra special care and attention. And through all the up's and down's you still managed to keep us all up to date on Matthew's progress. And Dirk, with the laundry service, I am greatfull, as Debbie was squeaky clean when we visited!!I know it has been hard on you to work every day while worrying and wondering about your family, and putting up with everyones' mood swings! What a great father and husband! I know you will all be so thrilled to be back under the same roof! Congratulations to Matthew for never giving up!!!! Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol..com>
Winfield, MO USA - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 01:06 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt and family,
Glad everything is going good for you. I was so glad to hear from you Debbie. I am so sorry that you relapsed Matt, but so thankful that you went straight to a transplant. Friday will be Ryan's one year post bone marrow anniversary. We are still waiting on his biopsy results. He is so excited about meeting his donor. Hang in there. It's been a long road for you guys, and I wish you the best. I will keep checking in on your updates. It brings back so many emotional feelings, good and bad. Ryan's website is www.ryangrumish.com
Our love and prayers to your family
The Grumishs
Judy Grumish <bmtmom@ryangrumish.com>
Champaign, Illinois United States - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 11:12 AM (CDT)

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I am Elizabeth Janke's QUEST Teacher. She visited your website during class. She was happy to hear your good news. I was also. Elizabeth and I hope Matthew has continued good health!!
Sue Eudaly <seudaly@rolla.k12.mo.us>
Rolla, MO - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 10:57 AM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and Debbie,
I just read the wonderful news! When I tried to get on the computer last night, it had locked up. Anyway, I am sure you are enjoying yourself at home. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers and I will keep checking on your progress. All our love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 09:53 AM (CDT)

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GREAT NEWS!! So happy to hear you're going home Matthew! What a WINNER you are! Keep up the good fight!
Love & cuddles to everyone,
Liz, Murray, Adam (now OT!), Joshua & Bethany
XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank's from Down Under! <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 08:44 AM (CDT)

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Great news that you are able to go home and be together as a family again. You have all been through so much. Here's for smooth sailing from here on out! Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, Mo - Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 10:33 PM (CDT)

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Hey matt this is ben. Congratulations on getting to go home. Since you turned 16 lately, I was wondering when you are gonna get a car. Have fun at home.

hi matt this is sam. I heard you went home today and im happy for you. my mom caught a cold and now she lost her voice which is a good thing so now she cant yell at me all the time. good luck at home when julie comes home so then you have to deal with her all day.
hi this is Joe.Get well soon,bye. Now you get to hear froom Uncle Dale. Ben would be more than willing to go car shopping with you. . . although what the two of you look at would not meet your parents approval. Hope your back is better. I've had a weak back too. Ask me how long I've had it. "Oh, about a week back."












Ben, Sam, Joe, and Uncle Dale. <hallemeier5_us@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 08:40 PM (CDT)

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Great News!! Way to go Matthew!! I know you'll feel better at home.

www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore
Anita <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 04:11 PM (CDT)

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Awesome News! Way to go Matthew! I bet neither of you can wait to sleep in your own bed again.

God Bless,

Hicks Family <hicks@cbse.uab.edu>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 02:37 PM (CDT)

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Great news that you're able to go home. My thoughts and prayers are with you (and your family) every day.
karin mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Cleveland, Ohio USA - Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 01:48 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matthew, you must be busy getting ready to go home. Home sweat home!!There's no place like home and sleeping in your own bed! I bet you can hardly wait. I hope your back is feeling better. We will check on you guys later. Love Aunt Shannon, Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 11:48 AM (CDT)

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Matthew,

I am thrilled to read your recent news ~~ you are doing TERRIFIC!! It won't be long and you'll be enjoying the comfort of your own home. Your birthday picture is adorable -- that smile must capture all the chicks! You are quite a handsome young man. You can tell that you are strong and very confident that you will beat this once and for all. Keep feeling that feeling -- you will conquer. My best to you, your mom and your family. Keep up the fantastic progress!!

Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 11:51 PM (CDT)

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Dear Matt and Debbie,
I just read your good news!! YEA! It sounds like you will be going home really soon! I hope the muscle relaxer helps your back pain. You both have been through so much, and we will keep praying for your total recovery. May Jesus give you strength to face each day and to keep fighting this horrible disease. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 10:43 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt & Debbie! Wow! Just read your good news about finally being able to go home and that you're doing so well. We thank God for that and will continue praying that everything keeps going well for you. Debbie, I admire you so much in your constant vigil and keeping everyone so well informed. Matt, sure hope the sore mouth and throat leave and your appetite keeps coming back. You're a strong kid who has gone through more than anyone should have to--so keep up the courage and look forward to many happy days ahead at home. Keep smiling! Charlene & Wayne Clark
Charlene Clark <ckclark@accessus.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 01:51 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matthew ~
Hooray! What a great ANC! I bet you're both anxious to get home and sleep in your own beds! We are praying that the muscle relaxers help to ease Matthew's back pain and that his counts continue to stabilize. (Why is it that some BMT patients have to stay in the hospital for 100 days? I am learning something new here!) Can't wait to read that you're packing to go home! We'll keep checking up on you folks!
Hope today is a REALLY GOOD day for you!
Love,
The Wadas in sunny Las Vegas!
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 01:48 PM (CDT)

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Matt- WOO HOO! You're going home! Wow, great news. I know your mom from ALL-KIDS (I'm the mom who dropped her son's laptop while in the hospital and completely broke it, beyond repair!) Anyway, my son, Mitch, has leukemia too. He is 7 1/2 years old. You guys are tough and amaze me everyday. I am so glad you are doing so well. That is the best news. Give your mom a hug for me!
Diane and Mitch Mathis
Diane Mathis <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 08:41 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matt,
I just read the good news!! I am so happy that you will be going home soon, because there is no place like home! We send our prayers and love. Looking forward to more good news tomorrow. May God bless you and give you peace. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach @hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 12:03 AM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matthew, I am sorry to hear your back is hurting, now that is something I can truely relate to haveing had my spinal fusion last September. But, hang in there things are bound to get better, it just takes time. And I am not a patient person! But I am so impressed that you've come this far and are doing better despite the back pain. Take that medicine for pain, that's what it's there for. I will pray for your pain to subside. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
PS-you might want to pray for me, as Ervin has left for the next 2 1/2 days, a meeting in Jefferson City, Free breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner out on the town. I told him I am leaving for 2 1/2 days when he returns lol !!!!!!!!!!!!
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Monday, April 08, 2002 at 10:11 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
I just went to your photo page. You are a nice looking guy. You look so healthy and happy. Happy birthday. You have such a nice family. It is a big job to get a house clean enough for you to come home to. Keep up the good work and beat this thing. I will keep praying.
Sue Thomas grandma to Jonny Barlett <grandmasue@toast.net>
Toledo, Oh - Monday, April 08, 2002 at 03:45 PM (CDT)

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Hip Hip Hooray, What a great feeling that is!!!! I don't
think my feet touched the ground all day when Holly had WBC's. Those soldiers found their way home. That is great
news. Matt, you'll be out of the hospital real soon now.
What great news of no fevers. God really has been keeping
his healing hands on you. I'm excited for you all.

God Bless,
Anita mother of Holly Stem Cell Transplant April, 2001
www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Monday, April 08, 2002 at 12:24 PM (CDT)

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Hi Debbie and Matt,
I just read the wonderful news!! YEA!! I am very happy for all of you. It's a good thing that Dirk cleaned the bathrooms, because it sounds like you will be going home soon. I saw Jan and Don at church today, and Jan said she was going to bake oatmeal raisin cookies for you. I am glad everyone enjoyed them. My mom, Mary, and I went to Dillard's at the Galleria today, and we all got some bargains on winter clothes. Almost everything was marked 75% plus take another 50% off. It was like being at Dillards' clearance center. I should have stayed home and worked on the taxes. I hope there is more good news tomorrow. We send our love and prayers. Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 11:34 PM (CDT)

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Matthew & Debbie,
I'm so glad to hear the good news! My prayers are with you and your family!
Cindy Coffman <www.caringbridge.com/ga/hillarycoffman; cpcoffman@juno.com>
Cumming, GA USA - Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 10:18 PM (CDT)

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Matt,
Belated Happy Birthday and keep up the good work! Glad to see that your WBC is on the rise. Won't be long and you'll be out of the hospital and wanting to drive the car. ; )
http://www.caringbridge.com/mi/keatonspage/index.htm
The Ruttingers (Keaton 9, dx 12/98 tcell, CCG 1961, OT 4/6/02) <jjkk3@attbi.com >
Tecumseh, MI - Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 09:46 PM (CDT)

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I just read your mother's journal entry. HOORAY!
I'm sorry I couldn't come down with your dad and "Bug"
You with my camera. However I have a cold and don't want to give it to anyone.
I love the picture of you and your mom on your birthday. You are really photogenic. Love Grandmother
Hazel Fackler <Nuthazel22@aol.com>
St. Charles, Mo USA - Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 09:09 PM (CDT)

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Woo-Hoo!!! What good news to wake up and read on a beautiful Sunday morning! It sure sounds like Matthew is continuing to get better and is heading in the right direction - HOME! We are so happy to read about engraftment at this point! CONGRATULATIONS! and have a wonderful day! Hope Matthew continues to feel good and eat whatever his heart desires!
Love ~ Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 12:04 PM (CDT)

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Thanks be to God, I just singed on to check for any new updates and "WOW" I could'nt believe my eyes *:)you have ANC!!!!!!What great news to recieve on a Sunday, the day God rested! Obviously, he is at work in Matthew! And all those prayers from around the world are getting through. I am sooooo happy I am speachless, that in itself is hard to believe. We will keep praying, looks like he's on his way over that rainbow!!!Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin :)
Shannon Fackler (in awe!!) <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 12:02 PM (CDT)

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So happy to read Matthew is doing well at present. May all your news continue in a positive direction! Yes, those steroids are the worst! I love the beautiful photo of Matthew and Mom.........you're right Stacey, what a handsome young man!! Mom isn't half bad herself!....no, she's absolutely beautiful!
Positive thoughts and prayers coming over to you all from afar!
Love & cuddles from,
Liz & gang from Down Under! XO XO XO XO XO
the Cruickshank family (ALL-KIDS) <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 06:41 AM (CDT)

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Hi Matt and Debbie,
I enjoyed seeing the new pictures. You both have beautiful smiles! I am glad that you were able to go home for a night, Debbie. I am still working on our taxes and hope to finish them by Monday. Hope you have a restful night and good day tomorrow! We send our love and prayers. Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 10:54 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew and Debbie! Just checking your website before going to bed. I've been up working on tax preparation. Needless to say, I have procrastinated! I enjoyed the new pictures that you posted. It is nice to have a face to go with the names of the people who give Matthew such great care. Thanks for the daily updates. Love you. Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 10:47 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie ~
I told you I think of you often!! :0)
Chad is on steroids this week too - so I definitely know what you mean! He played soccer today and his team won so that was great! I LOVE the new photo of Matthew you added! He looks GREAT! I swear, what a HANDSOME young man you've got there! And it's so good to see YOUR smiling face as well! I'm glad you left the family photo on there -it's such a beautiful photo of all of you - truly one of the most gorgeous family photos I've ever seen!
I am thrilled to hear how POSITIVE and UPBEAT you continue to be! You are an amazing mom and such an inspiration to all of us on ALL KIDS!
Take care, I'll check back soon!
Lots of love ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 09:46 PM (CST)

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Dear Debbie, Dirk and Matthew. We had a nice time chatting with your mom and dad, we sure wished we could have chatted with you too, but maybe next time :) I hope you like the goodies we brought you and your mom and dad. Make sure you try the Jolly-Rancher red jello, it's really good, and my kids beg me to buy it all the time. I have had it also and it truely is delicous!!! Especially if your mouth still has sores, jello hopefully won't bother them! Ervin and I stopped at the cafeteria before leaving and indulged ourselves in a pineapple blizzard for me, and Ervin got a Chocolate milk shake. My parents were still alive after babysitting for four hours, what a treat for them! Just kidding! They took the kids to see the Rookie with Dennis Quaid, they said it was pretty good. So we are back home now, and it's 7:55pm, and to think we left at 12:45 pm. It's been a busy day, I know I am ready to lay down and rest!!!! Hope I can get the kids to bed early! We will keep in touch. And by the way, I LOVE THE PICTURES, ESPECIALLY THE ONE OF DEBBIE AND MATTHEW, THAT'S A KEEPER!!!!!!!! You look FAB!!!!Keep hanging in there, we can't wait for you to get outta there and back home :) Love and prayers, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
PS-HOPE YOU LIKE THE POSTER, WE WANT TO SEE LOTS OF THOSE SMILES!
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 08:00 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie ~
SO happy to hear that Matthew is continuing to do so well!
YOU GO MATTHEW!! For you to write, "Life is good" is by far the very best message to hear! We are continuing to pray for Matthew's recovery, and we are sending warm, sunny, hellos from Las Vegas!
We think of your beautiful family daily!
Love, Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 06:07 PM (CST)

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Dear Matt, Hope that Fri night w/dad was a good one. Your dad was a good second base but Uncle Dale was better @ SS. Uncle Jay, was better than I was. What does that mean? Ask your dad. Hope your room has cable and access to the Cards. You continue to be in our thoughts, discussions and prayers. Love, Debbie and Ted Kuegele
Ted Kuegele <kuegele@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 03:03 PM (CST)

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Sometimes I dont post a message because I really dont know what to say,
but that doesnt mean I am not thinking of and praying for you guys.

Chris
www.caringbridge.com/page/gooch
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 12:57 PM (CST)

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I'm so glad to hear that Matthew is making great progress!! He continues to be in our prayers!!

LouAnn Wicker <louann wick@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 09:23 AM (CST)

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Dear Matt and Debbie,
I was glad to read that you had another good day! You will be home before you know it. Thanks, Debbie, for writing how you both are doing every day. This a wonderful use of the computer. Jan and I have altar guild duty this month. I am going to church tomorrow morning to set up communion for the early service, and she will clean up after the service.
Wishing you a restful night and another good day. We are praying for you. Love, Jeff, Susan, and Mary
Susan <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 11:28 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt!
I'm glad you had a good day today. It really sounds like you're doing good! I am doing a Relay for Life Cancer Walk in June to raise money for cancer research. It's held at my school's outdoor track and is 14 hours long! They have a special lap honoring all cancer survivors. I was telling my aunt that it would be great for you to come, but it might be a little too soon. Maybe next year though. Well, have a good night. Love and prayers, Jill

Jillian Clemens <JillGG7@aol.com>
Chicago, IL - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 09:24 PM (CST)

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Dear Matthew, Debbie, and Dirk
It sounds like things are going as planned and I am so glad to hear it!!!! Donuts and Lean Quizean, whatever works :)
Ervin and I will plan on meeting up with Debbie Saturday to visit for a while, of course we may stay longer than expected as we will be "without our four kids" an extremely rare event!!!! My mom has agreed to keep them so we can come visit you all. It's been a while since we have been to Childrens, but I know I have had to spend the nite there on a few occasions when my kids had surgery, ie: Emilys emergency appendectomy, Caitlin tonsils removed etc. Nothing too major thank God. But even a few nites there can really make you very homesick, as there is "No place like home". Now, let's all click our ruby red slippers together and repeat...there's no place like home.....!!!!
And before you know it you will all be under the same roof and resting in the comfort of home. But we will of course continue to pray, as we know prayers always help in continued healing, love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin


Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 09:12 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew,

Sounds like things are going pretty well for you. Back to eating "normal" food, huh? Geez...your Guestbook is really busy here. I posted a message a couple days ago and it's now waaayyyyy down there! I check on you daily, but had to make sure I left another message to near myself to the top...LOL! You have a lot of people supporting you and who are rallied around watching your progress. You are doing fantastic!! It won't be long and they'll be letting you outta there. I bet you can't wait to get home. Well, take care of yourself and tell your mom "HI" for me.

Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 07:28 PM (CST)

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY(Belated) MATT! Just finished catching up on your journal. WOW! I had signed your guest book and didn't realize until later that you had a 16th B'day! Watch our drivers! Just kidding.
Christy McDowell <christymcd@yahoo.com>
Sidell, IL - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 05:57 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew, Dirk, & Debbie,

So glad to hear things are looking up. Lean Cuisine, YUK! But oh well, whatever. I used to try and eat those things but could never get a liking for them. We were so glad that your mom is updating everyone. We just got back from Florida and didn't have access to the internet down there. I have been praying and wondering all week about you Matt. Wish Cindy didn't have to move on in her job. If you need Chad to come down there and beat you in checkers or chess or whatever sometime, let us know. I know you can't have visitors for who knows how long? We all got an awful sunburn and are peeling, yuk. Keep fighting and getting stronger Matt and we will continue to pray for a speedy recovery. Give your mom and dad a hug for me please. Hope to make a trip down even though I won't be able to come in and c-ya! Take care and pray and believe!!!
Love-N-Christ,
The McDowell's
Christy McDowell <christymcdowell@yahoo.com>
Sidell,, IL - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 05:49 PM (CST)

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Smiles : ) to you and Matthew. I am really anxious to read the next update in hopes that we will see that white count going up, along with the other counts. I bet you are both ready to get outta there!!! Hopefully not too much longer. I hope you both are having a good day. Keep up with all that hard work, you're gonna win this race!!! Love and Prayers, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 10:23 AM (CST)

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Matt,
Hurry up and get well. From what I hear through the grapevine your having a pretty good run at this race your in. Keep up the good work and you will see a lot of smiling faces. Your family wants you to come home real soon and so do the rest of that have missed you during the long days of waiting through the unknowns. We miss you and pray for your daily successes. Come back to us soon.
Tom Craig <tomc3623@earthlink.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 09:51 AM (CST)

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Hey Matt
So waz up buddy? It's Keli Lewis again! Sorry I didn't write sooner schoool's keepin me busy.. but I just got to school and was checkin to see how you were doin! Sooo It's finally Friday I'm soo excited! OOOOhh I'm gettin in trouble! Well buddy g2g I'll write a longer one later! Stay Strong!
Hugz and Kizzez
Keli
Keli Lewis <bacon54@hotmail.com>
St.Peters, MO U.S.A. - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 07:42 AM (CST)

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Matt and Debbie,
It was so wonderful to see Matt looking so good. Keep up the good work and I will keep up the prayers.
Marva
Marva Phillips <toomarvelous4wrd@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 06:02 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie and Matt,
You can sound like a broken record, Debbie, when you say that Matt had another good day! Yea!! I read your journal every night around midnight. I love to stay up late, but hate to get up early. I will be praying for you tonight, and hope I read tomorrow that you had another good day. May God carry you through this long journey to a new life. We send all our love. Jeff, Susan, and Mary.
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 11:55 PM (CST)

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I am SO glad to see Matt is doing good and I agree Mom, who cares, as long as he IS eating, right?
Keep up the good news.
Chris
www.caringbridge.com/page/gooch
<chrisrusso_@hotmailc.om>
- Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 10:11 PM (CST)

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Dear Matt & Debbie.
Just keep writing that Matt is having a good day.
That is what we want to hear. We are keeping you
both in our prayers. We check the Journal twice
a day.
Love Joan & Ray
Joan Hallemeier <bhallemeier@aol.com>
St Charles, Mo. - Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 07:10 PM (CST)

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Dear Matt and Debbie, Matt you do not know us, but we know your Mom and Dad and Grandparents from Our Savior. You are in our daily prayers and we feel that you are going to be well soon. I'm glad you had such a good day and are hungry!!We are computor novices, but this is wonderful!!
We are so glad that you are able to hear from all the people who care about you and your family. God bless you!!!
Claude and Anita Knight <Claude Kn@aol.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 06:25 PM (CST)

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Hey Matt,

I read you've been eating Lean Cuisine's. I wonder what flavor because they're not that good. I used to eat those and Budget Gourmets in my poor college days. Glad to hear you're feeling well. Keep it up!
Uncle Chris <challemeier@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 04:35 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew and Debbie: Just logged on to check the website. I like seeing "another great day".....we love having you sound like a broken record. If wishing can make it happen, Matthew should be well on the way to a speedy recovery. Good wishes and many prayers are coming your way.
Ann Hanekamp (Shannon's mom)
Ann Hanekamp <coas1@rockwood.k12.mo.us>
Eureka, MO USA - Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 04:30 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie and Matt,
we check your website every day to see how you are doing. We are headed down your same path and are rooting for you every day. Matt's counts aren't even as good as yours and you just had your transplant! Good luck - keep getting stronger every day.
Noelle and Matt Conover (from the Ped-Onc list) <nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 01:32 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt & Debbie
Just read your entry from Wed. Would like to donate Platelets for Matt again but I had a few blood Transfusions in July and I dont believe they will let me donate. You may want to ask someone at the Hospital if I can. I would even come to the Hospital to donate.
You are in our prayers & we hope to see your smiling face again very soon
love Joan & Ray
Joan & Ray Hallemeier <bhallemeier@aol.com>
St. Charles, Mo. - Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 12:33 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie and Matthew ~
Hmmmmmmm..........toasted ravioli sounds pretty tasty to me! It's good to hear Matthew has an appetite! I hope today is another good day, with no back pain at all. I hope Matthew is able to get up and around just a little bit too. You are always in our thoughts and prayers ~ you are such a special family!!
Thinking of you! Will check back soon!
Love, Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 10:36 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie and Matt,
So good to hear that Matt had a good day and ate some food. I finally started on our taxes today. Every year I plan to get them done earlier, but I seem to procrastinate even more. I am sure Dirk has your taxes already filed. Wishing you a good day tomorrow, and we keep praying for you. Pretty soon you will be home asking for that new car! HA!! All our love. Jeff, Susan, And Mary Roach
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 11:23 PM (CST)

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Hi Mattew and Debbie, we're checking in, it's a little after 10pm, I just got off the phone with my mom as we talked about how your last born child was a boy with red hair and how my last born child was a boy with red hair, and how ironic that was! Though I have to say-we are especially fond of Matthew and red hair. I'll bet he hopes his new hair will grow in at a different color, but I hope he keeps the red! I am wondering what kind of day you two are having? I hope it is a good one. I gave Matt's web site to my mom so she can check on his progress instead of getting it second hand from me. My sister (Sheri)and her kids sure seem to know the coolest computer games out there, I hope Matthew is keeping busy one way or another. I also hope those mouth sores are getting better. I hate it when I even get a canker sore-they hurt, so I really hope you sores are healing! We'll check back later. Take Care and sweet dreams! Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 10:29 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt and all,
Man, day +8 already. How time flies when you're having fun. Remember the more you move helps those counts go up. Atleast that's one way you can help this new bone marrow work. If you were older you'd be chasing the nurses.
You don't know me. I'm grandma to another bone marow recipient. These days are so important to your recovery. When you can look back on them they will have flown by.

I know being a teenager is rough enough but you are special. Just think, someone cared enough to give part of their body. Pretty special indeed. Prayers are surrounding you and your family all the time. Keep improving.


Sue Thomas <grandmasue@toast.net>
Toledo, Ohio Lucas - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 06:22 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew, I didn't see an update for today yet and figure you and your mom are walking circles in your room. That must not be much fun. Your mom writes that you are on your laptop all day.....have you ever played the Roller Coaster game? Jillian has it, she is 16 also and loves it. You build your own roller coaster and I'm not really sure what all it entails but I know I was checking on her one day and she was looking for "throw up". The little men had to clean it up. You score points. Anyway, just a suggestion if you haven't tried it. My boys just purchased the Sin City game which I'm not quite sure is age appropriate. It is like a virtual city. You probably already know all this, I'm probably sounding OLD now. Or at least that's what my kids tell me.

I hope you feel good today and you get a good nights rest!!!! Love, Sheri (Shannon's Sister)
Sheri Boffo <sboffo@bear.com>
Chicago, IL Cook - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 03:17 PM (CST)

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Matt, I am a member of Our Savior and have been praying for a successful bone marrow transplant for you. I noticed the web site in last Sunday's bulletin and decided to check up on you - it is so nice to have this so we can keep track of your progress. I know I do not know you personally but we are in the same church family. I am praying for you each day and hope for continued good news. God Bless You!
Terese Lafeber <Terese.Lafeber@tycohealthcare.com>
St. Charles , MO - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 01:11 PM (CST)

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Hey Matthew & Debbie

Was just thinking about Matthew this morning and thought I would check on you guys. Glad to hear that things are going pretty well. I can imagine Matthew being pretty tired considering all that he has gone through. I think getting out of bed if he is able will boost his spirits and yours too. We are praying for you guys!

www.caringbridge.com/al/sarahanne
Steven Hicks (Sarah Anne's Dad) <hicks@cbse.uab.edu>
Birmingham, AL - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 10:29 AM (CST)

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Hello Matthew, Debbie & Family. This is your Aunt Shannon's mother, Ann Hanekamp. Shannon has been keeping me up to date on Matthew's progress. Guess she finally decided to give me your email address so I can do my own checking. My compliments to the designer of your website. Matthew, hope you are having another good day. Everyone will be keeping you and your family in their prayers. Keep on having those "good days."
Ann Hanekamp <coas1@rockwood.k12.mo.us>
Eureka, MO USA - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 10:21 AM (CST)

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Hi Matthew and Debbie,

I got your web site address from Alexandria. My daughter is a survivor of AML. She
will be celebrating her one year re-birthday on April 11th. Holly was treated at Cardinal
Glennon Childrens in St. Louis. I have read some of your history. I will add you to my
prayer list. The only thing I can tell you is stay strong and continue to fight. Holly got
those mouth and throat sores really bad. Just remember those sores do get better when
those WBC start marching in.

www.caringbridge.com/mo/hollyemoore
Anita <anitamo@charter.net>
Sikeston, MO - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 08:09 AM (CST)

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Good Morning Matt and Debbie!
Just checked your web site. Thinking and praying for all of you everyday. You are all a portrait in courage. Keep up the good work and know many people are praying and rooting for you. Marva
Marva Phillips <toomarvelous4wrd@aol.com >
O'Fallon, MO USA - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 06:30 AM (CST)

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Hi Matt and Debbie,
I just read today's journal, and I was glad to hear that you had a good day! Yesterday was Mary's first day back to school after spring break and when she came home from school, she told me she missed me. Today when she came home, she said she only missed me a tiny bit so she is back in the swing of things. Just wanted to say hi and tell you we are thinking and praying for you. May God give you strength to face each new day. Love, Jeff, Susan, & Mary Roach
Susan Roach <susan909roach @hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 11:44 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew! It was really nice to see your smiling face on Sunday - even if it was through the hospital window. You looked really great. Elizabeth was especially glad to be able to see you. She thinks about you a lot. We had a nice visit with your mom and dad. I'd say nice dinner, but it WAS hospital food. Ha! We look forward to our next visit at your home. Brian, Kim, and kids
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 10:58 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew and Debbie, It's good to hear that things are going as planned. I am sure Matthew may not enjoy his PT visits, no one usually does, but as we all know, you gotta go through a little (or a lot) of pain and suffering to get on the road to recovery whether we like it or not. I speak from the experience of multiple surgeries and therapists telling me to get up and walk when I felt like telling them to take a walk! LOL!! But, it got a little easier and better with each trip. So hang in there, they are the experts after all! And we want you to be strong so when you get outta there we can take a "Road-Trip" to Chicago as promised! Did you guys watch the Parent Trap movie yet? Don't forget to rent that one, it a oldy but goody! Well I hope you both get some good sleep tonite, that always makes for a better day! We will keep praying for your recovery. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
PS I dont know if you (matthew) read any of the Harry Potter books, but my kids have had the books on tape, which are really cool, and have some of the books in full. You might want to see if you can listen to the books on tape, if your into Harry Potter at all, if not, check'em out anyway you will love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!A great way to pass the time and take your mind off of yucky hospital stuff and enter into the Harry Potter world of wizardry.
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 10:45 PM (CST)

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hi matt this is Sam! I'm glad you had a good day today and i miss you very much . It has been a while since I have seen you. It has been very boring around here. I'm starting comfirmation in May. There was a meeting tonight and the there were so many dates that my mom coulnd't keep up with the talking and I didn't even pay attention! there are only three boys in my class and the rest are girls.Then my mom told me everthing I had to do for the next two years and i wasn't sure about this but my parents said it would be okay and try my hardest and all I siad was okay. Then Joe walked into the room and I said does Joe have to do this and my parents said yes and Joe was mad cause he had to go through it too.

Sam Hallemeier <hallemeier5_us@yahoo.com>
St.charles, MO US - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 09:46 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt! I am a friend of your Uncle Dale and Aunt Becky. I also know your Grandma and Grandpa Hallemeier. Your Dad, Uncle Dale and I have played golf together on a couple of occassions. (Not good golf.) You are a strong young man and an inspiration to all of us. Stay STRONG and you are in are prayers. Doug, Angela, Emma, and Ryan Poindexter.
The Poindexter's <poindexter_us@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 09:09 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew,

Just checking in on you to see how you are doing. I check your site frequently for updates. I know you from the ALL-Kids list and am so glad Mom is keeping all of your cyber-support up to date. Things sound like they are going relatively smoothly -- that's a good thing. It won't be long before those new cells start taking over and engrafting themselves. The waiting period seems like forever, huh? I hope your mouth sores aren't too bad, I remember how hard that was on my brother. It will pass soon. Do they have you swishing with that putrid numbing liquid medication? I don't know what's worse...LOL! Anyway, I'm thinking of you from California. Don't know if you're a sports fan, but I'm a BIG fan of baseball and I'm thrilled that the season has started. Going to my 2nd Anaheim Angels game tonight. Oh well, keep up the great work!!

Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 04:40 PM (CST)

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Best Wishes for a speedy and uncomplicated recovery. I enjoy reading the updates and hearing the good news.
Karin Mika <karin.mika@law.csuohio.edu>
Cleveland, Ohio U.S.A. - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 03:20 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt, I am glad that you're having a good day today. It is cloudy and rainy here in Chicago, too. I've had my license for about a week, and already I have to run errands for my Mom and bring my brothers to the movies. I have officially become the chauffeur of the family! Well, I'm glad you're doing good and continuing to fight! Have a good day! Love and prayers, Jill
Jillian Clemens <JillGG7@aol.com>
Chicago, IL - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 02:13 PM (CST)

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Hey to the Hallemeiers!
Just a note to let you know that Island Lutheran Church in Hilton Head Island (remember, the home of the 80 year old beach babes)is praying very hard for your total and uncomplicated recovery. Matt, you are so blessed to have a mom and dad that are so very committed to helping you get well. I'll bet nobody sets foot in your room without your mom taking a complete health history. There are no bugs walking in your room unnoticed, that is for sure. Hang tough and know that all these prayers are flooding heaven's gates on your behalf.
sherri spicer <gspicer@hargary.com>
Bluffton, SC - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 01:37 PM (CST)

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Debbie and Matthew, I wanted you to know that you are in my prayers every day. I keep up with you all through my daughter Alison Haddock and Alexandria. We think about you often and know how hard you are fighting. You are a very special person and an inspiration. God bless you abundantly!!! Sunny
Sunny Staples <sunnystaples@prodigy.net>
Cape Girardeau , Mo - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 09:12 AM (CST)

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Debbie and Matt - I check your site every day, keeping up with Matt's engraftment process. Hope to see things as boring and uneventful as possible - with all the drama confined to TV and movies! It's also an inspiration to Maximilian, who goes in for his TBI and autologous transplant next week.
Best wishes and prayers from Maximilian and myself,
Gloria McShane (ALL-KIDS) mother of Maximilian, 18, T-ALL with CNS <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 05:28 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie and Matt,
I am glad that Matt had a good day today. We send our prayers and love to you. Mary is praying for you, too! Have a good night and may God give you strength and peace.
Jeff, Susan, and Mary Roach

Susan Roach <susan909roach @hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 12:24 AM (CST)

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Dear Matthew and Debbie, I am so glad to hear that Matt is hanging in there! I can almost visualize the process going on in that sponge-like marrow. Kinda reminds me of planting my yearly flower beds, in goes the seeds and out comes this beautiful flower, that in turn drops more seeds and continues to bloom and share its beauty where ever the wind blows it's seed. May Matthews garden bloom profusely that we can all share in his beauty. We will be anxiously awaiting his sprouts, or shall I say counts? He is in our prayers. Love and Blessings to you all. Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 10:46 PM (CST)

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Dear Matt, You are a strong and courageous young man. I just wanted to let you know that our thoughts and prayers are with you, and are but a few in a multitude. God Bless You and Your Family! Love, Josh, Leslie, and Emma Knight
Josh Knight <knightjg@slu.edu>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 09:00 PM (CST)

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Easter Lillies, Daffodills and Crocuses, Forsythia's in bloom and it smells and feels like SPRING IS HERE TO STAY!!!Hope this finds you all feeling springy too. Funny thing is, my sister Sheri in Chicago emailed and said it was snowing like a blizzard there. Glad I moved here! I hope Matthew is feeling a little better today, we will check up later. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facjkerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, mo USA - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 05:35 PM (CST)

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Hi again to the Hallemeier family! Thinking of you all each day, looking forward to the day we hear that the new cells are catching on, and Matthew gets better. Julie, I can't wait to see a picture of you in your wedding dress, I'm sure you will be beautiful. Hugs to you all, Cathy
cathy wallace <cmwal4@aol.com>
- Monday, April 01, 2002 at 05:26 PM (CST)

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To Matt and Family, I just wanted to say hello today, and let you know you continue to be in my prayers. Our church is also continuing to pray for you. I think of you often, and try to comprehend the strength that gets you ALL through this continuous climb. Just remember... it does end at the top of the mountain. You've probably all read so many books, but I would highly recommend for you to read "Hinds Feet on High Places"... It's a story about another on a great mountain climb. You would be able to relate to so much of the story! By the way, my son, Shaun and Julie are high school friends, and my daughter Cari and Chris had the Credit Union class together. I also work at Pattonville, and had heard from Vicki Cooper that you were undergoing the bmt last week. Prayers and blessings to you and your family.

Cathy Nordgaarden <touchofgrace@juno.com>
Maryland Heights, MO USA - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 10:58 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie ~
I can't believe it was 2 years ago, Easter Sunday that Matthew was dx. That is the EXACT same day Chad came down with his first suspicious fever and was SO sick! In our case, it took another 5 mos. before the actual ALL dx. Then a year later, Easter Sunday last year, we were on Chad's MAW trip and celebrating Easter in Hawaii! Here it is now, another year gone by..........I pray for our sons to be permanently healed from this horrible disease!!
You and Matthew are in our thoughts so often! I know exactly how it feels to be in a hospital room watching movies with my boy! Here's another funny one: "Rat Race" Get it if you guys haven't seen it yet!!
Okay, I will check up on you folks again soon! I pray that today is a GOOD day for Matthew and that he shares that gorgeous smile of his with everyone who sees him today!
Sending love and well wishes always ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 10:08 AM (CST)

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Dear Debbie & Matt,
HAPPY EASTER!! Hope you had a good day. Mary got Cinderella II and The Princess Diaries videos and lots of Reese's peanut butter cups (her favorite candy) from the Easter bunny. She had fun finding all the eggs. Her spring break is over so she goes back to school tomorrow. We all send our best wishes, prayers, and love to you.
Jeff, Susan, & Mary Roach
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 10:24 PM (CST)

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Dear Debbie and Matthew-

Just wanted to let you know that we're sending lots of love and good thoughts your way.
Annie, Lex and Isabelle Thomas (ALL-KIDS) <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 10:13 PM (CST)

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Hi, I forgot to mention, when you get bored you might want to watch The Parent Trap, it's one of our familys favorites to this day, and sure to cheer you up and make you laugh out loud!!!!!!:) and laughter is the best medicine! Love, Aunt Shannon
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, mo usa - Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 10:00 PM (CST)

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Happy Bunny Trails to you.......until we meet again.....!!!
Hope you had a nice Easter!!The
Bunny came late last night about 2 am and dropped off four baskets goodies on the dineing room table, she filled eggs and hid them all over the familly room. I Slept on the couch and was awoken by my four kids-all teamed up and asking can we get the eggs now? That was at about 5:45 AM. I let Ervin sleep, and I took a few pictures as they ran around, then opened their baskets, then back to sleep I went!!!!!Tell me Debbie, how much you miss those days?????? They must of thought it was xmas!!!!!
It's 9:22 pm, and everyone here is asleep and Ervin is snooring as usual, though he consistently says he does not snore! I hope you two have had a good day, I am glad you got to go out to get some fresh air, and I bet Matthew can't wait either! Hopefully, not too much longer to the end of the rainbow~~~~~~~~~~~~~where surely he deserves that pot of gold<:) Keep your spirits up, and we will all keep praying for his continued recovery. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin (the snoremaster)Ha Ha
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 09:41 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt, this is Jill. I just wanted to wish you and your family a HAPPY EASTER!!! Keep hanging in there and you'll be healthy in no time. I'll keep you in my prayers. Love and prayers, Jill
Jillian Clemens <JillGG7@aol.com>
Chicago, IL - Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 07:34 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew, I meet your mom on line, our son had the same thing that you are having now. We hope that the nurses are treating you well, you are watching all of the shows that you like, and also that you are not eating the hospital food. We know how horrible that it can be, so if you can, try to get some good home cooked meals. Hope that your Birthday went well, and also that you are having a great easter. You and your family will stay in our prays, always.
Jake and Pat Barlett <JacobECONRAIL@AOL.COM>
Camden, MI USA - Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 05:53 PM (CST)

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Matthew, Debbie, Dirk, Julie and Christopher, Happy Easter to all of you. You all continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.
Tim, Pat, Andy and Tracy <blasier@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO - Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 04:39 PM (CST)

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Matt, this is Uncle Dale. We have been thinking about you alot this week. Joe has a lot of questions. We (Sam and I) took some photos of "scenery" for you from Ft. Myers Beach. We'll get them to you soon. My head peeled. Your dad has had that happen to him. I was laying on the beach and a couple of marine biologists tried to drag me into the water. We will see you soon. Love Dale, Becky, Ben, Sam, and Joe.
Dale <hallemeier5_us@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 03:14 PM (CST)

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Debbie, Matthew, and Family ~
**************** H A P P Y E A S T E R!!!!**************
We're so glad to read that yesterday was a good day for all of you! We are hoping and praying that your Easter Sunday is just as good (if not better)and that Matthew continues to stay strong and heal quickly!
Thinking of you all on this special day,
Love,
Bill, Stacey, Bryce and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV - Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 11:25 AM (CST)

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Hello Debbie,Dirk, and Family! I was so glad to hear that Matthew is hanging in there. I am glad they have him on some good pain medication, that hopefully makes things tolerable for him, and you too! We are getting ready to color eggs and fingers, oh what fun! Let me wish you all a happy Easter (come tomorrow). The bunny comes late tonite. Please tell Matthew we are all thinking of him here and I have all four kids reading your updates over my shoulder. They are learning a little math in figureing out his blood counts, better or worse? etc. Maybe they will grow up to be doctors! Well HAPPY EASTER to you all!*****
Love Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Saturday, March 30, 2002 at 07:15 PM (CST)

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Hey Matt!
It's Keli Lewis from comfirmation class. Gosh I haven't talk to you in a long time. I miss you in youth group, you could have me laughing for like ever. I would of gotten a hold of you sooner, but I didn't know you had a website till Julie told me. Oh Yeah! Happy Easter!!! So when you feel better me and Julie are gonna come see ya (if that's ok with you) Well I luv ya and your definetely in my thoughts and prayers! ~~Love~~Keli*
Keli Lewis <bacon54@hotmail.com>
St. Peters, MO USA - Saturday, March 30, 2002 at 06:34 PM (CST)

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Happy 16th Birthday - a day late. I thought of you all day yesterday, but had trouble finding a time when both hands were free to type. Grandmother said you had a nice celebration at the hospital. 17 will certainly be celebrated in a much better place! Love, Kim
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Saturday, March 30, 2002 at 10:39 AM (CST)

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Matt -- I am a friend of your Grandma Janet. In fact, I do her hair. She has been keeping me updated on your condition and I just want you to know that I have been praying for you since you were diagnosed. I will continue to pray for you and hope you will be feeling better soon.
Joyce Primeau <tprimeau@prodigy.net>
St. Peters, MO USA - Saturday, March 30, 2002 at 10:23 AM (CST)

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Happy 16th Birthday to Matthew and also HAPPY EASTER!! We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Keep up your good progress!!
LouAnn & Tom Wicker <louannwick@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Saturday, March 30, 2002 at 09:41 AM (CST)

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Debbie - -
I live in Paris, TN and have been checking Susan Greene's wed page daily.(her parents are freinds of my parents). Anyway, I saw your daughters entry along with this website. I just wanted you to know what a wonderfully strong and loving mother you seem to be. I am a mother also, I have two boys (ages 2 & 4) and to see and read what you and your family has gone though is amazing. When I see people like you, I can't help but envy your strength. I have a wonderful mother also, and I know that she could be as strong as you, I hope that if the day ever came that I needed strenght I would have it. You are in my prayers, and remember that the angels in Heaven are applauding you daily.
Angela Wells <rwells@aeneas.net>
Paris, TN - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 11:46 PM (CST)

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This is my first visit to your web site and I am BLOWN AWAY! IT IS TOTALLY AWSOME! ( that was a phrase from the year you were born Matt) I hope that you will consider having this journal published when this chapter of your life is over. This would be great for Matt's future family to read!
HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY, PEBBLES <PEBBLECP@BJC.CARENET.ORG>
FLORISSANT, MO USA - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 11:39 PM (CST)

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Hi, we are checking in again. I am so glad to hear Matthew has had somewhat of a birthday! My birthday wish for him is that he start popping out some good healthy red , white and other blood cells!!!!! I am secretly wrapping them up and sending they cyberspace with a big red bow! So look out!!!!Hope you both sleep well and may you both be comfortable. Love and Prayers, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 09:45 PM (CST)

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Matthew,
Here's a huge wish for lots and lots of great birthdays in the future. Just think, your biological birthday and your "re-birthday" will be so easy to remember since they are so close! We are thinking, hoping and praying for a wonderful, healthy, strong engraftment!
Praying daily for you and your wonderful family!
Susie, Katie and Justin Parker
Wilmington, NC
Susie Parker <suzyp2660@aol.com>
Wilmington, NC US - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 07:11 PM (CST)

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HAPPY 16th MATTHEW........YOU CHAMPION!!!
Keep up the good fight. We know you are a winner and you'll be home before you know it!
Good thoughts, prayers, love & cuddles, coming to you and all your lovely family, from across the miles.
Take care mate
Liz, Murray, Adam (dx ALL 3/00), Joshua & Bethany
the Cruickshank family (from Down Under!) XO XO XO XO XO <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 06:41 PM (CST)

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****HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY MATTHEW***
We're your friends out in the desert from the ALL KIDS list just stopping by to let you know that we are thinking of you today and wishing you a HEALTHY and HAPPY 16th year ahead! You are an amazing young man..........I'm sure you know that already though!
Hope you are feeling good on this special day!
Love, Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 06:02 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew and Debbie, it sure was nice talking on the phone instead of here. Ervin and I will plan on Keeping our apt. for Friday as planed. My sister Sheri, in Chicago-called today to see how Matthew was doing, she has read the entire web site. I will try to find a picture of her daughter Jillian who just turned 16, everyone says she looks exactly like the ice skater Nancy Kerigan, remember her? And She does!!Matthew would probably blush if he saw how pretty she is. Ervin left work early today to take Emily to the Urgent Care in Wentzville, she has a bad chest cold/cough and it seems to get a little worse each day, and of course today, good Friday, our doctor is closed. I will be glad when they return to school on Monday, peace and quiet for about 8 hours. I am putting some eggs on to boil so we can make a huge mess coloring them this evening, and eating them for the next three days! Guess I can make egg salad. We will be like Santa in fixing up their easter baskets late at nite when they are all asleep-can't hardly wait!!!!HaHa! Please tell Matthew we all wish him a Happy 16th birthday, we will celebrate when he is outta there!!!
Well I am off to stink up the house with boiling eggs peeyew!!!Take Care till next time, and tell everyone we are keeping them in our prayers. Love Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 04:25 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt
I am a cousin to your Grandpa Hallemeier. I want to wish you a Happy 16th. Birthday.I have a grandson who will be 16 in June and he is a friend of your cousin Ben. I'm glad you are feeling better And I know every day from now on will be better than the day before. Take care. Margie Regot
Margie Regot <mregot@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, Mo. USA - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 02:53 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt and Happy 16th Birthday!
Great to know you're feeling somewhat better, hope you continue to do so. With the good wishes and prayers of all your friends I'm confident that will happen.
Leroy and Janet Hallemeier <jhallemeier @ hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 11:59 AM (CST)

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Happy 16th Birthday! Hope you'll be able to eat some of the birthday cake your grandma said she'll be bringing in.
Sure pray you continue to make progress--but I know so, so slowly to you. Enjoy your b'day as well as you can.
Love, Wayne & Charlene Clark
Charlene Clark <ckclark@accessus.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 10:31 AM (CST)

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Hey all!
Maffer, happy 16. When this is all over, I think it will be time to hit up dad for that Eclipse...Anyway, I just wanted to tell all of those who track Matt's progress about a girl that attends MSU. Her name is Susan Greene, and she was recently diagnosed with atypical Bukitt's lymphoma. She is just beginning chemo, so if you have chance, visit her page and drop her a line. Her page is www.caringbridge.com/tn/susangreene.
Thank you to all that have been praying for my brother and family.
Mom and all, I'll see you on Saturday, but I'll call you this afternoon.
Love you,
Jules
Julie <julie.hallemeier@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 10:25 AM (CST)

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Matthew,
I hope you have a very Happy Easter! I also hope you are feeling well and may soon go home.
Elizabeth Anne Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 09:27 AM (CST)

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Happy Birthday, Matt! We've been checking on your progress every day through the website. Glad to hear you had a better day. You're in our thoughts and prayers every day.
Al and Mary Heinbokel <mheinbok@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 09:23 AM (CST)

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Dear Matt,

Just wanted to wish you a Happy 16th Birthday. We are glad to hear you are feeling better.
Our prayers are with you and your family. Hope you can go home soon. Also Happy Easter.

Dennis and Judy Welch
Dennis and Judy Welch <djlwelch@charter.net>
St. Charles, Mo USA - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 08:39 AM (CST)

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Dear Matt:
Just wanted to say congraulations on your 16th Birthday.
I just celebrated one on Wed. Hope you feel better today &
with the help of Prayers you will soon be home again.
Love Joan & Ray
Joan & Ray Hallemeier <bhallemeier@aol.com>
St. Charles, Mo. - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 07:15 AM (CST)

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Dear Debbie & Matt,
I am so glad you had a restful night and a good day! I saw Dirk, Don, and Jan tonight at church. I just wanted to say hi and I am praying for you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! When you get out of the hospital, you can ask your dad for a car!
HA! We send our love. Jeff, Susan, & Mary Roach
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 01:07 AM (CST)

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HAPPY {16th is it?} BIRTHDAY !!!!!

I am glad the nausea is starting to subside
and I hope maybe you started eating so they dont have to do the tpn
but you are on the road to recovery, so hang in there
you too mom!

Chris
www.caringbridge.com./page/gooch
<Chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
Bethel, CT - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 12:11 AM (CST)

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*H*A*P*P*Y* ~ *B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y*
MATTHEW!!

Boy, you have had a lot to celebrate this week! You may not feel quite up to par, but we are all celebrating for you! I'm so glad that your mom has been able to keep your website up so we can check in on you and see how you're doing. Keep strong and remain positive. It won't be long and you'll be strong(er) and healthy and will look back on all of this. Take care and enjoy your "special" day. We are thinking about you and sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.

Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 11:31 PM (CST)

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Debbie ~
I'm like you, I don't mind the hospital food so much when Chad is inpatient. But he HATES it! I'm sure it tastes totally different when you're the patient! I'm glad to hear you and Matthew both got some much needed rest. Do you have any "special" plans for Matt's day tomorrow? We will definitely be checking in to share in the celebration.
Take care, we're praying for another peaceful night.
Love, Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 11:16 PM (CST)

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Greetings again, my letter was just about done and my mean ole computer signed me off. So I will try again. I am glad to hear you two are feeling better. I was wondering if you can bring food from home in, for you and Matthew to eat? I have the best recipe for lasagna in the world!!!!! A friend of mine agreed to share it with me, it's really good. Well, I don't wanna make you hungry so I will change subjects. I survived shopping with the kids, we went to Kohls in O'Fallon. Why is it that the clothes at Kohl's fit them perfect, but if we go to Walmart (much cheaper) their jeans etc. dont fit right? Anyway, Kohls had a wheelchair at the door, so Emily pushed me around as they picked out stuff to try on. My Back is still bothering me and the doctors at the pain mgmt clinic at Barnes Jewish St.Peters, all three anesthiologist, said I have Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, it is mostly nerve damage from the spinal fusion last sept. 10, 2001. So if I am upright for even 45 minutes my feet start to burn, or get ice cold, numb and tingly, pins and needles, and downright just hurt all across the bottoms. They dont have a cure for it, just a bunch of treatments that involve needles, like epidurals to "re-set" the nerves supposedly? And with that, he says it may take several treatments. I said no needles in my back, untill it's bad enough that I cant walk at all. Debbie, try looking that one up on the internet, RSD for short, there isnt much info on it. Well it's time for me to hit the lateral position I am so tired of, and one that you surely dont get enough of! We will always be thinking of you and Matthew and hopeing that everything stays on track, just one lap at a time. Take care, we'll check back later. Love and Best Wishes, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 11:09 PM (CST)

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Hey Matthew, My son 5 yr. old son Tommy also has ALL. I keep up with your progress on ALL-Kids. Here's is praying that this transplant will be successful.
Hugs and Prayers,

Dawn Gresham - www.caringbridge.com/sc/tommygresham <bdmtg@hotmail.com>
Gloverville, SC - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 10:34 PM (CST)

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Hi! Matthew. Happy Birthhday tomorrow. I have been reading about your progress since the bone marrow. Ihope that each day you feel a little better. There are a lot of my friends praying for your recovery and are interested in your progress. I'll call your mother tomorrow. Love, Grandmother
Hazel Fackler <Nuthazel22@aol.com>
St. , - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 09:24 PM (CST)

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Hey Matt, Debbie, and Dirk! Just wanted you all to know that we are praying for you! I am so glad to hear that things are going well right now. Pastor Arle said that he had a chance to visit with you all for a little while the other day, and said that he was glad he could be with you. He updated us in the office, and of course, we have been on the website checking up on you:) Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you are constantly in our prayers, and that we miss you and love you! If you are up for a visit sometime next week, I would love to come down to see you. I'll be in touch once we get through this weekend. I know that your counts will be down, so it may not be a good idea. Either way, know that we are thinking about you and that you all are lifted up in prayer. "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:9-10

Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 05:01 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt! My name is Jill. I'm Shannon's niece and I live in Chicago. I'm 16 and I go to Lincoln-Way East High School. I think it's really cool that you've been hangin' in there for this long! It would be really hard for me, and I think you've done a great job! We just got out for Spring Break today. I'm not going anywhere special, just staying here. It would be really fun if you could come to Chicago for a visit sometime like my mom was saying. There's a lot of cool stuff here to do. Just take things one day at a time. I'll keep you in my prayers. Hope you feel better! Love, Jill
Jillian Clemens <JillGG7@aol.com>
Chicago, IL - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 04:46 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie & Matt and family! good going so far! now you have another birthday to celebrate!!!!! Keep up the good work and know that our prayers always include you all.
Kelle & Houston (from the ALL group!) <kfralick@tpcgi.com>
Lubbock, TX 79423 - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 04:31 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew and Debbie, I was hopeing to see an update but you must be exuasted and I can understand why. I hope today has been better for you both. I wish I could e-mail you some home made food, Ervin makes a delicious baked chicken. I have been thinking of you both all day. I gave another friend of mine Mathews web site, and their church is already praying for him. Would'nt it be so cool if we could count every prayer that has been said for you all, even if we could, I am sure we could'nt count that high. I know you all are being watched over, and I hope you can feel it. Today is Blakes birthday, he turns eight, Emily made his cake, yellow cake, white iceing with sprinkles on top, she even put the candles on, I was so impressed, she turns 12 April 10th. They grow so fast. I have to take all four of them shopping for jeans, as they have either outgrown them or worn them out since school started. I surely will have a migraine before we return home. I never realized Matthews birthday is one day after Blakes, how funny, and they both have that red hair, was it something in the moon and the stars? Well tell Matthew we all wish him a happy bithday come tomorrow, and many many more. Well I must prepare for the voyage/challenge of shopping with four kids in tow. I can already hear it "Mom, I'm thirsty, Mom-I have to go to the bathroom, Mom-are we almost done? Etc. I'm sure you remember those days :.)!!!Well, we will check back later, Even the dog is nudgeing my elbow as I type, either she wants to visit too, or wants me to stop typeing. Hugs and licks from big Annie!!!!! (our collie). Love and Blessings, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, mo USA - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 03:13 PM (CST)

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My prayers are with you guys. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Easter
Lizzy Donahower <elizabeth.donahower@murraystate.edu>
- Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 12:51 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt and family!
Uncle Chris and I are thinking about all of you everyday. Please take care, stay strong and know you are very loved. You are in my prayers!
Michelle Mathews <mmathews74@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 09:45 AM (CST)

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Hi Matthew! I'm glad to read you were able to get some sleep, FINALLY. I know that being deprived of sleep can make coping with everything that much harder. I know I have a hard time coping when my 16 year old doesn't get enough sleep!! hahah

I bet you're thinking of better ways to be spending spring break right now!!! Well, try to think of the future - next years Spring Break. You think your Mom and Dad are worried about you now, wait until you're begging to use the car on Friday night and asking for an extension of your curfew. That day will be here soon!! I went home last night after reading the entire journal and talked about you to the kids over dinner. I told them all about you and everything that you have been going through. I also told them you might come and visit. I gave Jillian your website. Her birthday was on Monday, the 25th of March, she turned 16, as you will tomorrow? That makes you 4 days apart in age. Blake's birthday is today. I talked to him last night. He is so cute on the phone. I was asking him what he was hoping for his birthday. He kept saying "I don't Know". That sure changes with age, huh? I bet you'd have no trouble answering that question.

Well, feel better soon, try to think of something good to eat. Keep giving your mom smiles, she needs them!! If we come to town soon, we'll come and visit. We may be coming in April some time. Even if we have to just wave through the window. So if you see some people you don't quite recognize, it is us!!!! I hope you have a good day. Love, Sheri (Shannon's sister)
Sheri Boffo (Shannon's Sister) <sboffo@bear.com>
Chicago, IL Cook - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 08:56 AM (CST)

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Debbie and Matt,
You are inspiring us with your strength and courage. Keep up the good work. We are rooting for you,

Noelle and Matt (headed for SCT in May)
www.caringbridge.com/ma/mattconover
Noelle <nconover@sgi.net>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 07:50 AM (CST)

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Yawn,
Just tucking you in my cyber friend, Debbie! Looking forward to a bright tomorrow with many more of Matthew's smiles to warm your heart. YOU are the special one, my dear. So glad for the TPN too...........here's hoping for a peaceful night for Matthew.
Holding your family close in prayer,
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 11:38 PM (CST)

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Dear Matt and Debbie, I was sorry to hear that you had such a rough night. I cannot imagine what you are both going through, but you both are in my prayers and thoughts. I hope you have a restful night and a good day tomorrow. I saw Dirk and Julie at chuch on Sunday, and I heard about the shopping trip for Julie's dress. She is a lovely young women, and it's hard to believe she's getting married! All our love, Jeff, Susan, & Mary Roach
Susan Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 11:36 PM (CST)

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So glad to hear from you so soon Debbie. Things sound pretty good so far. We prayed for Matt off & on all day. Just couldn't think of anything else all day. Our prayer chain is wonderful Matthew. We have a wonderful church family and just want you to know that even though they have never met you, they still pray for you and they know that if you know Chad, than you must be a pretty neat guy. Giving Chad credit there. He was pretty quiet a couple weeks ago when I shared with him what you would be going through. He couldn't believe that you had to go through such an ordeal. But we know that all things work together for the good if if only believe and keep the faith. That's how we will continue to pray for you Matthew. It may be a long road ahead but remember you do have friends who care and if you ever need to be reminded just read this again. If you would ever want Chad to come down to visit you, please let me know. We will be reconnecting with St. Louis in June Matt, but if you need us before than please do call or drop us a line. Take care and work hard and hang in there and hopefully your recovery will go by very fast.

Love-N-Christ,

Brad, Chris, Chad & Holly McDowell




Chris McDowell <christymcd@yahoo.com>
Sidell, IL Vermilion - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 08:57 PM (CST)

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Dear Matthew and Debbie and Family,

Congratulations on getting the donor cells in - what a long road this has been. I'll be saying prayers for a successful transplant with minimal side effects.

Love,
Terry, mom of Linus, ALL, 3 years old <terryn@azstarnet.com>
Tucson, AZ USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 04:22 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew and Debbie,
We are praying for your speedy recovery here in Idaho. God Bless you and your family.
Karen and Alexis 3yr ALL B CCG-1991 dx 10/20/01 <khopson@dcdi.net>
Grace, ID USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 04:19 PM (CST)

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Debbie ~
I'm so glad to hear Matthew is getting some rest today. I hope you're able to get some too! I hope you don't mind that I posted yesterday's journal entry to the ALL KIDS list. Everyone from ALL KIDS sends their LOVE and PRAYERS to you and darling Matthew! We have not and will not stop praying for an easy recover for Matt! Sending warm hugs from Las Vegas ~
Stacey
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 04:07 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt the baum family is thinking of you. you are in our prayers eunice hallemeier-baum
eunice hallemeier-baum <eunidon@brick.net>
st charles, mo usa - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 03:50 PM (CST)

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Dear Matthew and Debbie,
So sorry you didn't get much sleep last night. We hope you get some extra rest tonight. Please know that you are in our prayers every day. We pray for everything to go as smoothly as possible. God Bless. (Mom to Isaiah -ALL Kids)
Pat Bingham <patricib@umflint.edu>
Swartz Creek, MI - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 03:36 PM (CST)

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Matthew & Family,

I am from ALL-Kids list. My son is named Matthew too, he is 10 and has ALL also! I just wanted you to know that you have someone in Indiana thinking about you and praying for you too! I hope the days go quickly and easily for you and your family.
Nancy and Family
Nancy Vinson <nagjam2001@yahoo.com>
Fort Wayne, IN - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 03:04 PM (CST)

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I'm one of Julie's sorority sisters at Murray State and I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I recently watched an episode on Oprah where one of the burn victims husband of 9-11-01 did the same thing you are doing. A supportive prayer system is the strongest medicine available.
Erin Tolliver <erin_tolliver@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 01:46 PM (CST)

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Dear Debbie and Matthew, this may be a duplicate letter as my computer decided to loose the first one i typed. It sounds as though you both had a hectic nite. Working on very little sleep makes it hard, I would be crabbing up a storm. But you seem to be handling things pretty well. Matthew is so lucky to have a mother who is an RN. I hope you dont mind that i gave your web site to my sister in Chicago. She takes the train down to the city and works near the Sears tower, so i am sure by now her entire office is praying for you, and those prayers are shooting out the top of one of those skyscapers making a bee-line to God. And like she mentioned, we would love to take you up to Chicago to a sox game and go site seeing. They have the Shed Aquarium which is awesome, and some really cool museums, complete with real dinosuar bones. You will be spoiled rotten!!!!!And we will have a blast! And Debbie, when Matthew is all well and comes home, you are owed a complete massage, i go because my doctors have ordered it to keep my spasms in my back under control. But in your case, its my treat! You will walk outta there on cloud nine! And speaking of clouds, that reminds me, I went to the angel room late last nite and asked them again to pray for Matthew, and some one with the sign on of "Starlite" told me not to worry, for he (Matthew) has the name of an Apostle, and he will come through this just fine. And like i said before, I have a feeling he will be ok after all these treatments are over. So as my massuse tells me, "Relax....Take slow deep breaths", I usually tell him i dont know how to relax, I have four kids, and we laugh! And afterall, isnt laughter the best medicine? Matthew, I hope you are feeling better with the nausea, we will continue to pray for you all and keep a close eye on you. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, MO USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 01:36 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew- I am glad they got the IV Benadryl for you and that it is working with the IV Ativan. My son, Mitch, who is 7 1/2, has leukemia. You are in our prayers every night. Here's to a fast engraftment! Hang in there buddy.
Diane Mathis

Diane Mathis <Stubby3620@aol.com>
Boynton Beach, FL - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 01:02 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew, We are from ALL-KIDS and wanted to send you healing thoughts and prayers. I am so glad your stem cells infused so well!!! Now we will pray for a speedy engraft-ment!!! My daughter, Nicole who also has ALL says hello and to stay strong!!!! Take care....Hugs, Chris and Nicole

Christine Apollo <nikki0294@aol.com>
E. Northport, NY USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 12:50 PM (CST)

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Hi. This is Matthew S's mom from the ALL-KIDS list and I just wanted to say that I am praying for you and hope that Matthew comes through this like a fighter we all know he is. My family is keeping you in our thoughts and prayers!


Sydney (mom to Cory 9, Matthew 5 pre-B ALL standard risk and Brendan 3. Wife to Scot) <sschmitter@comcast.net>
Ypsilanti, MI USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 11:32 AM (CST)

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Hi Matthew! Happy Day 1. We've been thinking about you a lot during the past 24 hours. We're so glad the BMT went well. Who would have thought that March 26 would be a day with ice and snow! Now today should be beautiful - high in the upper 50's. A great day for a new beginning. We can't wait until you can come visit Rolla. We bought a 4 wheeler about a month ago. You will love to zoom around on it. I rode it when I was 8 months pregnant - what a sight! I will keep my eye on your website for updates. We love you!
Aunt Kim, Uncle Brian, and kids <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, mo - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 10:08 AM (CST)

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We are glad that the BMT went well. You are in our thoughts and prayers as we know this is a difficult journey. Keep strong and know that we are all there to support you!!
Tom and LouAnn Wicker <louannwick@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 09:33 AM (CST)

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Hi Matt,
Taylor and I put off a canoe trip today because it was a little cold this morning, so we are taking it easy at home and we were just talking about you and hoping everything went well last night. I know your mom and dad will take great care of you and I understand you have some great doctors too.
Love, Uncle Jay, Laurie, Lyric, and Taylor
Jay Hallemeier <DJHALLE@knology.net>
Panama City Beach, FL USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 09:32 AM (CST)

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Matthew-You've been in my thoughts and prayers daily. I woke up last night thinking about you. I know you will do great with the BMT. You are so strong--look how far you have come. I'm not sure I could do all you've done to fight your leukemia. I hope you find something to make you smile each day. May the Lord let his face shine down upon you. Love, Lisa
Lisa Salem <stevesalem@accessus.net>
St. Charles, MO - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 08:43 AM (CST)

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Hi Matthew, I am happy to hear/read that things went okay for you yesterday. I am Shannon's sister. She has been keeping me updated on your progress over the past months. I have four children of my own, two girls, 16 & 14 and two boys 12 & 11. I can't imagine how difficult this is for you at your age. I looked at your pics, you are adorable, I bet the girls can't wait for you to feel better and get back to school. It looks like you've got a great support network, and I, like my sister, believe you are going to do great!!!! I've got everyone here at my office praying for you. Good luck and now that I have your website, I'll keep checking on you.

When you are better, maybe over the summer, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin can bring you to visit us, here in Chicago, we will take you to a Sox Game. We are not Cub fans. Only SOX!! So hurry up and feel better, the season starts soon. My office is right next door to St. Peters Church, I will go at lunchtime and light a candle for you. Good Luck Today. I hope it is a good day for you and you feel better! One day at at time. Love, Sheri
Sheri Boffo <sboffo@bear.com>
Chicago, IL Cook - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 08:37 AM (CST)

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Matt:
Glad the BMT is over. Joan & I have had you in our
thoughts & Prayers since the begining. Soon we will be seeing your smiling face again.
Love Joan & Ray
Joan & Ray Hallemeier <bhallemeier@aol.com>
St. Charles, Mo. - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 08:11 AM (CST)

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Matthew, You were the first thought I had this morning and my first prayer. My prayers will be constant for you the next few days. This is Holy Week and I can't help but to compare your sufferings with those of Jesus. I hope you feel His presence and know He suffers with you and loves you and your mom and dad.
Debbie, You too are in my prayers. I hope to see you soon. I plan to make a trip to childrens soon. Marva
Marva <toomarvelous4wrd@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 06:37 AM (CST)

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Dear Matt, We were happy to read that the BMT has been going well. You and your family will be in our thoughts today. Love, Debbie and Ted Kuegele
Ted Kuegele <kuegele@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 04:00 AM (CST)

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Matthew,

Congratulations on DAY +0.....well, now it's Day +1 ~ happy RE-birthday to you Matthew. I know this transplant will do the trick and rid those leukemic cells once and for all!! Ba-Bye!!!! These next couple of weeks will probably be a little difficult for you. Just remember that there are people all over the country following your journey and sending our prayers. You can do it!! Keep your faith and your head held high.

Thinking of you,
Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhoffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim, CA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 12:35 AM (CST)

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Dear Debbie, and Matthew, It's 12:03am and even I can't sleep, wondering and hopeing and praying that the bmt takes hold and starts produceing those healthy new cells. I really feel deep in my heart that he is going to be ok,
afterall, Blake does'nt want to be the only red head in the family, he will need Matthews advice on how much the girls love red heads : ) !!!!!!! So I to, will be up with you most of the nite though we are under different roofs, I'll be thinking of you both and Dirk too. Please tell Dirk that we are also thinking of him too, it's just that you, (Debbie) do the narateing and I tend to address Matthew and Debbie, but you Dirk are very much in our thoughts and prayers too, as is the rest of the family. I hope to hear good news come later today. We will be keeping a close eye on you all. Hope you get some rest and comfort tonite. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
winfield, mo usa - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 12:25 AM (CST)

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Hi Matt,
This is the first time I have been to your website, and what a great way to use the internet. I hope you have a peaceful and restful night. We are praying for you and I know Jesus is there with you.
Jeff, Susan, & Mary Roach <susan909roach@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 12:09 AM (CST)

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Hi Matt and Family! Popped in to say you've been in my heart all day. God bless you, every one. Love, Cathy
Cathy Wallace <cmwal4@aol.com>
- Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 08:55 PM (CST)

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I hope that everything went as expected today, and I sincerely wish you a quick recovery. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Ellen Yonts <ellen.yonts@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY USA - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 06:54 PM (CST)

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Hi Hallemeier Family ~
It's the BIG day! We are so with you in prayer and spirit!
We will check back this evening for more news on Matthew's BMT. What an amazing young man he is! You all must be so proud of him!! Thinking of you all and sending hugs from Las Vegas Nevada,
The Wadas ~ Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 06:41 PM (CST)

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Debbie, Matthew, and Dirk, I have asked everyone I know to pray for Matthew and your family. Sometimes i pop into the angel chat room, and last nite i asked that all of them pray for you also. So when you read that people all over the world are praying for you, it's the truth! I know this is a pivital point your approaching, but have faith, and believe!!!!!! GO FOR THE GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!! We will be checking on you later, love Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, mo usa - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 06:27 PM (CST)

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Matt:
We know the hour is near for your new start in life. Hang tight and know that God is being totally flooded with prayers from all over the country this night for you. Pretty amazing isn't it. Remember you are:
In HIS Grip
george and sherri:)
sherri spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
Bluffton, sc - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 04:38 PM (CST)

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Get well soon Matt.
Ashley Hailston
Ashley Hailston <ashley.hailston@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY USA - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 02:46 PM (CST)

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Get Well Soon !!!
Kandis Garland <KKG01@hotmail.com>
Murray, KY United States - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 02:05 PM (CST)

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Tom and I are thinking and praying for all of you. We know how difficult this is both physically and emotionally for Matthew and for your whole family. The power of prayer can work miracles and we know Matthew has LOTS of people praying for him. God bless you all!!
Tom and LouAnn Wicker <louannwick@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, MO - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 12:35 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt, I am one of Julie's sorority sisters and I am keeping you in my prayers. Just always remember that God doesn't put anything on your plate that you can't handle. Chin up Charlie!!!!!!!!!!
Love in Him, Brandi Harless
Brandi Harless <brandi_harless@hotmail.com>
Kevil, Ky US - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 11:12 AM (CST)

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Hi Matt! Just want you to know that Wayne & I are really praying for you this morning and trust God that this procedure give you back so much of the life you've missed out on. I can't even imagine what you've been through, especially at your age. I know how down I got with my tongue cancer and the radiation--but you've had to endure so much more. Someone wrote this in one of my cards--"God is Before you to Lead you, He is Behind you to Guard you, He is Beside you that He may Support & Comfort you, He is Above you to Bless you". We pray for complete healing for your body. You have a very special family for which I know you're thankful. Hang in there, kid, and know we'll all pulling for you!! Wayne & Charlene Clark
Charlene Clark <ckclark@accessus.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 10:06 AM (CST)

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Hi Matthew:
You probably don't remember us, but we go to Our Savior Lutheran Church in St. Charles & are friends of your grandparents & also know your parents. Our thoughts, prayers and love go out to you. You have been a fighter through this entire sickness & I know you just feel depressed sometimes. But please don't give up. God loves you & with all the prayers going up to him, I know he hears them. Just keep up the faith & know that so many, many people are praying for you. Again, our thoughts & prayers are with you and your entire family. In Jesus name we continue to pray. Love, Phyllis & Bill Criss
Phyllis Criss <wlpjcriss@worldnet.att.net>
St Charles, Mo USA - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 09:58 AM (CST)

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Dear Matt, I can't believe that gpa Don went w/Julie to pick out a wedding dress. How dull is tht guy's life. Get through that BMT tomorrow and get him out doing guy things.
You are in our prayers w/much love. Debbie and Ted Kuegele
Ted Kuegele <kuegele@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 09:35 AM (CST)

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Matthew, you are a very strong young man. Cathy and I have been praying for you and your family and will continue to pray for you in the coming days and months. We believe that God is standing by your side helping you through all this. Everybody here at work is pulling for you. Debbie, your are a wonderful Mom!
Dan Wallace <wallaced@usfilter.com>
Bridgeton, Mo U.S.A. - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 08:48 AM (CST)

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Matthew,
You don't know me, and I can't even remember who's website I got your address off of, but yesterday I sat and read your whole journal. You are one great kid!! I know today is your BMT and I am praying very hard for everything to go smoothly. I was just registered for the bone marrow registry on February 28. I pray that someday God will use me to help someone in the same place that you are. I can't imagine anything more wonderful than being a part of someone's life by donating bone marrow!! From reading your journal and guestbook, I can see you have a ton of support in your family and friends, but I figured one more person storming heaven with prayer requests couldn't hurt!! God bless you Matthew and also your family as you start your new life today!
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 08:36 AM (CST)

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I hope Matt is feeling better and best of luck with the transplant. Iam one of Julie's soroity sisters and I think of your family often.
Tiffany Shemwell <tiffany.shemwell@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY United States - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 07:36 AM (CST)

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Hi Matthew and Family,

I am a friend of Stacey Wada's. I just wanted to let you know that you are in our prayers. God will watch over you tomorrow and the days to follow so your BMT will be a complete success! Just know that there are prayers coming your way from California too!
Love,
The Bernardo Family - Anita, Michael, Kailee & Ashlee
Anita Bernardo <Maknardo@aol.com>
Granada Hills, CA USA - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 03:59 AM (CST)

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Dear Family/Matthew,
You don't know me, but just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you. My son is a cancer survivor of 12 yrs. He is now 16. I know what you're going through. Be strong and hang in there! Will look forward to reading positive updates soon.
Cindy Rector <CinRec@aol.com>
Boonville, IN USA - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 01:10 AM (CST)

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Matthew,
Hi! I am one of Julie's sorority sisters! I just read about you and your treatment and I just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my prayers. You are one brave boy and I know that if you have faith, you can get through anything. You are in my prayers. Good luck and best wishes for the future.
Jenny Moss <jennifer.moss@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY Calloway - Monday, March 25, 2002 at 11:48 PM (CST)

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Hi, it's Shannon and ervin checking in. It's
10:36pm and its finally quiet enough for me to write. My friend in Hannibal gave me a little calender, quotes from Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul, and as i laid down and read it i came across two that really struck home, especially in regards to Matthew and his BMT. This particular verse blew me away because it is in the bible as Matthew 6:25,32 and reads as such "DO NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE...YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER KNOWS THAT YOU NEED ALL THESE THINGS. And that really made me think about Matthew and his bmt coming up, as we know how much he needs this. The other
is a psalm '" PSALM 91;11 and says, HE HAS PUT HIS ANGELS IN CHARGE OF YOU TO WATCH OVER YOU WHEREVER YOU GO". And this made me think of his travels back and forth to the hospital, and back and forth to surgery etc., he is being watched over. This gave me a little comfort, because I can only imagine what you both are feeling right now. My heart aches for both you and Matthew, and the rest of the family too. And as Ervin always says to me, The glass is half full, when i say it is half empty, ha ha. In this case may the glass be full and running over the sides! We will pray especially for the Bmt to go well and that Matthew and yourself can find some comfort and peace of mind. You will be in our thoughts and prayers,

Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
Shannon Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
Winfield, mo usa - Monday, March 25, 2002 at 11:02 PM (CST)

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Matt,
I am one of Julie's sorority sisters. I wanted to let you know that I would pray for you and your family. I can tell by the other comments in your guestbook you have got to be one "tough cookie". I can also see that there are alot of people who love you bunches. Again, I will keep you in my prayers!
Amber Alexander <page_msu@yahoo.com>
Puryear, TN USA - Monday, March 25, 2002 at 09:42 PM (CST)

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Matt,
Hi-I am a friend and sorority sister of Julies. Though I have recently graduated. I just checked out your website and wanted to wish you the best with you BMT and to say that you and the family are in my prayers. Take Care and get better!!
Casey Williams <caseywilliams02@hotmail.com>
Nicholasville, KY US - Monday, March 25, 2002 at 09:01 PM (CST)

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Dear Matthew,
I know today is the day you get TBI. This is a lot for a 16 year old to go thru. I have a son who has cancer and he is almost 16. He says his life sucks! I bet you can relate! I have tons and tons of hope that you are going to beat the cancer beast with this BMT. I am keeping you in my heart and prayers every day. Its so wonderful you have your mom right there with you because I know she is a special lady. And I also know there is no where else in the whole world she would rather be. Linda
Linda Lewis <annhope2000@yahoo.com>
Grass Valley, Ca. U.S - Monday, March 25, 2002 at 01:06 PM (CST)

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Matt is right, it isnt fair.
It really isnt.
But hopefully he can realize how many people
people he knows and people he doesnt even know
are pulling for him and praying for him
and trying to give him strength

Chri s
www.caringbridge.com/page/gooch
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
Bethel, Ct - Monday, March 25, 2002 at 12:51 PM (CST)

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Matthew:
The Spicers are keeping you very close to our hearts this day, knowing that you have some tough times ahead. You have already come so far and we know that you will continue to keep up the good fight and ultimately win the victory. You are an amazingly strong and courageous young man even if some times it doesn't feel that way. God is going to be there all the way with you and your mom and dad and all your family. I know that for absolutely no-doubt-about-it sure! You remain in our prayers today and everyday.
Deb: I just want you to know what a great job you have done communicating to all so clearly this journey you are making. You share so well both the emotional and technical aspects of what's going on. I know your mother's heart is hurting and just know that this mother is hurting with you and committed to sending prayers for Matt and all of you.
Dirk: Ditto the above for a Dad's hurting heart from Geo
We love you guys. You are IN HIS GRIP - Geo and Sherri
sherri spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
Bluffton, SC - Monday, March 25, 2002 at 10:38 AM (CST)

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Hi, Matt! My daughther, Elizabeth, & I are members of Our Savior; tho we don't know each other personally, we are connected in the saving faith of our Lord Jesus Christ; He promises to be with you and is. We remember you & your family in our prayers. God bless.
Barbara Marfisi & Elizabeth <bmarfisi@hazelwoodweber.com>
St. Charles, MO - Monday, March 25, 2002 at 08:27 AM (CST)

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Hi Matt.
Hang in there. We know everything will be o.k. soon.
We are keeping you in our prayers. We miss seeing your
smiling face in church. We will be thinking of you
Tuesday and also Friday on your Birthday.
Ray & Joan Hallemeier <bhallemeier@aol.com>
St. Charles , Mo.. - Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 07:09 PM (CST)

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G'day Matthew!
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way........from Down Under! Even though you may have some tough days ahead of you, you are going to get through this with flying colours! Take care mate and BIG cuddles to you, your family and all the wonderful med staff looking after you!

Liz, Murray, Adam (dx ALL 3/00), Joshua & Bethany
the Cruickshank family XO XO XO XO XO <meajbc@bigpond.com>
Melbourne, Vic. Australia - Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 06:03 AM (CST)

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Matthew,
Thinking of you and your family, sending prayers and big hugs for a successful BMT! You can do it!
Julie Ruittinger, Mom to Keaton 9 (dx 12/23/98, tcell, CCG 1961, arm D, OT in 1 1/2 weeks!) <jjkk3@atbi.com>
Tecumseh, MI USA - Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 07:46 PM (CST)

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hey mat! my name is richard holderby and i was diagnosed with A.L.L. in august of 2000. i had to have my eye taken out from some difficulties with the lowered immune system and then i couldnt go through with kemo. i had a bone marrow transplant too and that was almost a year ago. hang in there!
richard holderby <hippyrichie@aol.com>
citrus heights, ca u.s.a - Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 01:16 PM (CST)

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A new Gameboy Advance? Not bad!! It's great to hear that Matt's in good spirits. We said a special prayer for him and your entire family last night. When is Julie's wedding? Debbie, you must be overwhelmed with mixed emotions on every possible level! Whew! Take care, we will check on you often and pray for you nightly!
Love, Stacey (ALL-KIDS)
Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 12:11 PM (CST)

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Hello's to Matthew and Debbie, Dirk and the rest of the gang. It is nice to hear the good news of the bmt getting underway! You two (Debbie and Matthew) still amaze me with your vigelance and your highest sprits even when things are moving at this fast pace. But if I had to pick, I surely would chose the fast pace, for I have no patience at all when it comes to waiting. How long will Matthew be in the hospital for his bmt, and can he have visitors? Like us? Semi-normal folks. Ha Ha. I am taking our new puppy we paid 75 dollars for to Hannibal to give to my best friend there. We cant seem to get her potty trained and she continues to leave us suprise tootsie rolls around the house and her puddles of yellow are getting larger as she is four months old now. My friend has a fenced in yard so it will make it easy for her to potty train the dog. We will be shampooing the whole carpet soon. We will be back to just annie (our collie) and the rest of our gang. We have learned the hard way that one pet is enough, as are four kids. My kids are off for their spring break this week. And I will probably loose my mind before they go back to school. I hope it gets warm enough for them to play outside so I can have a little peace and quiet from their constant fighting. Blake will turn 8 on March 28th and is asking for a "Big Bike" we will have to see about that. He and Ervin watched the nascar races last weekend on TV, and Blake (coppertop) asked "Daddy-when can we go there?" like it was just around the corner and free!!!!!!!Maybe when i win the lottery. I told Ervin and everyone else that I had a feeling i was gonna win last week, and i did, a whopping four dollars!!!!! Yeeee Haaaaaa!!!!!!! So of course i bought four more tickets (Powerball), its up to 43 million. It was fun hearing my four kids saying what they would do if we were to win and be rich. Things like build a castle to live in, Blake would have a MONSTER TRUCK in every color, and i heard requests of a maid and a butler. I didnt even know they knew what a butler was??????Hmmmmmm. I could go on forever as I am sure anyone could. But I will sign off and get ready for a short trip to Hannibal, old home sweet home. Best wishes to Matthew on completion of his bmt. And Debbie, thanks for doing such a great job on keeping us updated, what a great mom!!!!!
Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
PS. Maybe there is a reason we live in WINfield Mo.???
Shannon and Ervin Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
winfield, mo usa - Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 09:42 AM (CST)

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Matthew,
What a guy. You are so strong. Keep up the good spirits. Everyone in our family is pulling for you. If things get tough remember "This is worth it, over and over." You are starting on a journey not many people have gone on. Be healthy and prosper. The star trek crew went where few went and had many adventures. Let this be one of yours.
Prayers and hugs from Toledo, Ohio.
Sue Thomas grandma to Jonny Barlett dx 9/20/00 <grandmasue@toast.net>
Toledo, Oh Lucas - Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 07:14 AM (CST)

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I think you are one tough guy Matt!!!!
Hang in there kiddo and you'll be just fine!!!!
Lots of people love you and are sending healing wishes your way everyday!!!!!! Be patient with God because he is developing you into one very special boy!!!!!!!!! He's got some special plans for you in the future....have you ever thought about running for president when you're old enough???You will certainly have the willpower and strength to run the country after everything you have been through!!!!!It sounds like you have had a really rough road, but this temporary detour will bring you to happier days ahead!!!!!! Think positive thoughts!!!!! I'm wishing you a speedy recovery!!!!
Karen from Minneapolis,Mn. <Valenti56@aol.com>
- Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 12:39 AM (CST)

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Hi Matthew!Our thoughts and prayers are with you as you begin the final prep. for the BMT. We hope all goes well and will be checking your website daily! We love you!
Brian, Kim, Elizabeth, Michael, Nicholas, and Rebecca Janke
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 04:55 PM (CST)

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Dear Matthew-
Wishing you all good things as you begin to get ready for your transplant. Sending lots of love and good thoughts to you and your family--
Annie Thomas (from ALL-KIDS) <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 02:15 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie! We are thinking of all of you now and praying especially hard for Matthew. Let us know if you need anything at all, good luck next week. God Bless pam
Pam Diederich <pdiede@yahoo.com>
st. louis, mo st.charles - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 01:07 PM (CST)

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Dear Hallemeier Family ~
Today marks the beginning of a very special journey for your family. We feel so completely honored to be sharing it with you if only in such a small and insignificant way. Words cannot convey our heartfelt good wishes for an easy recovery for darling Matthew. Take care of each other. We are with you in prayer and spirit from across the miles and through the computer screen!
Sending much love and friendship from ALL-KIDS,
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
LAS VEGAS, NV USA - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 10:49 AM (CST)

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Hey Matt! I know you're going back in the hospital today. I know everything will be alright for you. Just no fun for a few weeks. I read below that Sam thinks that Uncle Dirk (your dad) runs around like a girly man sometimes. I'd like to see that! Keep your chin up, buddy! Love Uncle Chris
Chris Hallemeier <challemeier@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 07:54 AM (CST)

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Dear Matthew,
I am praying for you and your upcoming BMT. I am asking for God to have His hand on you and that this will cure your cancer forever! I am praying for your family as well.
Cindy Coffman <www.caringbridge.com/ga/hillarycoffman; cpcoffman@juno.com>
Cumming, USA - Thursday, March 21, 2002 at 07:04 PM (CST)

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Hey Matt!! I was sitting here thinking about you and praying for you and thought that it would be good to get to your website and check out the latest. I can't believe it is tommorrow that you go in! I will be praying for you and so will Chris (do you remmber him? He is one of the guys from the seminary). We have been praying together for you. I am anxious to get the address from here (the website) so that we can send you a card or two. May God be with you as you head in tomorrow. We will be thinking about you and praying for you. We miss you and love you, Matt! "For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Thursday, March 21, 2002 at 02:27 PM (CST)

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hey matt! this is sam.sorry i havn't written to you in a while. we talk about you alot.joe has been a rat and runs around and screams all day like a girlyman (kinda like uncle dirk) and tries to be funny. then i trpi him and he falls to the ground. but ben pounds on him all the time no matter what.In the college b-ball tourny i want either mizzou or kansas but i think duke will win agian but it would be awesome if mizzu did win.I KNOW THE TRANSPLANT WILL GO OKAY AND WE WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU
Sam Hallemeier <hallemeier5_us@yahoo.com>
St. charles, MO USA - Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 10:00 PM (CST)

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Matt & Family,
you are in my thoughts and prayers
I feel I have come to know you here through caringbridge
and pray for this to be the answer to a permanent remission
Chris
www.caringbridge.com/page/gooch
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
Bethel, CT - Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 12:43 PM (CST)

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Hi! I'm still thinking of the good Turkey dinner in March. It was nice being with you even if you weren't feeling too good. We are surely keeping you in our prayers.All my friends are so interested in your condition. If you need anything I have to take to the hospital with you let me know. I love you all.
Grandmother
Hazel Fackler <nuthazel22@aol.com>
St. Charles, Mo USA - Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 10:26 AM (CST)

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Matt,
I just want to tell you that we are all praying for you and your family. You have become very special to all of us at your mom's work. We check this site often to follow your progress. We will be praying during your stay at childrens for your transplant.

I just want you to know how much we admire your courage. You are very special and God will take care of you. Never give up your hope and your faith. You are blessed with wonderful parents.

God Bless all of you,

Marva Phillips

Marva Phillips <toomarvelous4wrd@aol.com >
O'Fallon, MO USA - Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 05:57 AM (CST)

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Matt, what a fine looking young man you have become. I have been keeping tabs on you through my mom, who is always asking me to keep you and your family in my prayers. I still think of you as the little guy who kept us entertained at all times......I hope that your BMT goes well and I promise to keep you in my prayers.
Laura Wallace <lwallace@coinco.com>
St. Louis, MO 63044 - Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 02:45 PM (CST)

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Matthew: I hope your bone marrow transplant goes well and I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I believe that God never gives us more than we can handle, so I also believe that you must be a very strong kid!
Jennifer (Kuegele) Vore and Family <Mizzou1270@aol.com>
O'Fallon, MO USA - Monday, March 18, 2002 at 09:35 PM (CST)

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Debbie, Dirk, and Matt,
I didn't realize until Sunday that you had a website, and I'm so glad that the address was published in Sunday's bulletin. I've read all of your journal entries, Debbie. I think that all of us probably realized somewhere in our hearts that your daily life was filled with countless hours of appointments, hospital visits, tests, medication, worries, fears; but reading your journal entries really brings it home. We're so happy that you have a date for the bone marrow transplant; and we'll be saying prayers every day that this goes well and is successful.
Mary and Al Heinbokel <mheinbok@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, March 18, 2002 at 01:17 PM (CST)

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Matt, You are in our prayers. Your website is well constructed and very informative. We hope that your back is feeling better and will be healed before the end of March.
Love, Debbie and Ted Kuegele
Ted Kuegele <kuegele@charter.net>
St. Charles, MO USA - Monday, March 18, 2002 at 06:22 AM (CST)

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Hello to everyone, It's shannon and ervin checking in. It's so nice to tap in and get up to date info on how you all are fairing. We think of you often. I hope it wont be long before things calm down and you can enjoy the spring weather. I have tulips and hyacynths popping up in my garden, a sure sign of spring, till the dog and the kids trample them i should add. Well keep up your spirits, go out and get ya some sunshine, that always makes me feel better, and its free. Keep us posted, we
will be keeping you in our prayers. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin.
Shannon and Ervin Fackler <Facklerhome@aol.com>
winfield, mo usa - Sunday, March 17, 2002 at 11:58 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew,
I just wanted to say that I am praying for you and your BMT. May God bless you and your family.
Cindy Coffman <www.caringbridge.com/ga/hillarycoffman; cpcoffman@juno.com>
Cumming, GA USA - Thursday, March 14, 2002 at 08:24 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew,

So glad to read that you have gone home. It's so comforting to be at home, at least for a couple weeks, huh?! It sounds like you will be celebrating your birthday with your re-birthday in the hospital. We'll be celebrating with you in spirit from California. You are making great progress in your journey to be CANCER-FREE!! Keep up the fantastic work and get yourself some rest as you prepare for the BIG day. Thinking of you and your family.

Hugs,
Vicki Hoffman ~ www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike <vhofffman@yahoo.com>
Anaheim (Home of Disneyland, the Anaheim Angels & the Mighty Ducks), CA - Thursday, March 14, 2002 at 12:39 AM (CST)

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Hi! Matthew!. I just read your web site and am glad that you have a definite day for you BMT (kinda sounds like a BLT. Would one taste good right now? I am tempted to have a snack but I think I will have a long drink of water and go to bed. There are a lot of people asking me about you and they are keeping you in their prayers. Perhaps I'll see you soon. Love Grandmother.
P.S. I got back from helping take care of your littlest cousin,Rebecca Nicole, on Monday. She is sure cute. I can't imagine us ever being that small! Love again.
Hazel Fackler <nuthazel22@aol.com>
ST. Charles, Mo USA - Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 11:31 PM (CST)

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I am so glad you finally have your date set
you are well on you way now!
I know this has to be very hard - these next 2 weeks,
but it is the beginning of his cancer free life!

Chris <chrisrusso_@hotmail.com
www.caringbridge.com/page/gooch
>
Bethel, CT - Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 12:09 AM (CST)

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Hey Matt!! I am glad to hear you have a date, finally! Please know that you are always in our thoughts and prayers here at church. I think about you a lot. Your grandparents have been keeping us updated on what has been going on, and yesterday, I received info on your website. This is great! We can keep up with what is going on, and we can share it with others in your church family! When you are ready, we need to play another game of Life:) Anyway, I hope that you are comfortable. We are praying for you each day, and are expecting the best for your recovery! We love you and miss you very much!
Julie Bushre - Our Savior Lutheran Church <baconj54@hotmail.com>
St. Charles, MO USA - Tuesday, March 12, 2002 at 02:02 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie, Matthew, and Family ~
Just stopping by to say hello. We're thinking of Matt today as he is admitted for more chemo, and we'll pray that all goes well and he's out in LESS than 48 hrs.! Take care, your family is always in our thoughts and prayers!
Love, Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Monday, March 11, 2002 at 07:13 PM (CST)

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Hi! I am a church friend of Kim and Brian Janke--just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of all of you and keeping you close in my prayers. I believe in God's healing power. My friend Julia Stone shared your website with me--she is also our church friend.
Cindy Strain <cstrain@rolla.k12.mo.us>
Rolla, MO USA - Monday, March 11, 2002 at 07:00 PM (CST)

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Just thought I would sign the guestbook and say hello. I can't stand my website either. But my mum likes it, so i guess I just have to tolerate it. Take care.
Maximilian Snowdon, 17 (T-ALL) <mfsnowdon@btinternet.com>
Richmond, N. Yorkshire, - Monday, March 11, 2002 at 04:40 PM (CST)

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Hey to the Hallemeiers:
I finally found your website, I had the .com in the wrong place and never could locate it. But am so happy that now we can stay informed on what's happening in your lives. Please know that every day we are praying for Matt and all of you. When Matt feels up to a little travel after this BMT is all behind him we have absolutely the best place in the world for some R and R. And we mean this! No fooling. Matt, your mom and dad can have the lighthouse room and you can have the room with the drum set. Bang away! THe only drawback is the girls on the beach, well they are all about 80. But the rest of the scenery is mighty fine! Remember all the Spicers are pulling and praying for you!!

sherri spicer <gspicer@hargray.com>
Bluffton, SC - Monday, March 11, 2002 at 04:05 PM (CST)

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hi to everyone from the Facklers in Troy, was just checking in to see how and if any progress has been made. I was so disapointed to hear the bmt has been put off for a couple of weeks. How aggravating! Nice to see you all seem to be taking the news in stride, i guess thats all you really can do. You must be getting stronger by the day to handle all the stuff that is going on in your lives. A high 5 to putting up with whatever the the world throws at you all. I sure dont think i would fair as well. I didnt know about matts shoulder surgery??? Hope it went well. Our new little puppy had surgery today on her hernia, so we have to baby her for a while. I was out walking her just a little while ago 11 pm, and i could hear the frogs chirping in and around the ponds and the woods, and for the first time this spring should i call it, i smelled that smell of spring, the air was damp and warm and windy, but i can usually smell all of a sudden that winter is over and spring has arrived, at least thats my own opinion, woeeeeeee , i hear thunder now, guess i should sign off before any lighting blows my computer out. Well stay well till your next opportunity for bmt, and if possible, get out and take a big wiff of spring. That is if its not snowing by the time you read this, ha ha. take care all> Love,
shannon and ervin
shannon and ervin <facklerhome@aol.com>
winfield, mo us - Friday, March 08, 2002 at 11:46 PM (CST)

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I am so sorry to hear about the change in plans
it must be so hard to get ready and psyched up for this & then be put on hold.
The donor obviously has a good reason, and still wants to donate, so just try to hold on and sit tight and know God is watching over you.
Chris
www.caringbridge.com/page/gooch
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
Bethel, CT - Friday, March 08, 2002 at 11:37 AM (CST)

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Hi Matthew,

This is my first visit to your website. I've kept up with your progress via your mom on the ALL-Kids list. I've enjoyed travelling around your website, and especially loved looking at the pictures. Boy, you are a handsome young man! :) Continue to keep up your fight, you will find it rewarding soon enough. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you prepare for your upcoming transplant. Remember the road will continue to be a little rocky, but the strong will perservere -- and YOU will win this battle.

Vicki Hoffman <www.caringbridge.com/ca/mike>
Anaheim, CA - Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 10:29 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew! Grandmother and I were catching up on the news on your website. Sorry to hear that your BMT has to be delayed. We pray that it is for the best. I guess you know you have a new cousin. We weren't expecting her arrival for a few more weeks. Rebecca was born on Saturday during a heavy snowstorm - had a hard time driving to the hospital. Grandmother is here helping me with the crew. Hang in there! We think of you every day.
kim janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
rolla, mo usa - Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 05:18 PM (CST)

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I'm sending good wishes your way for the upcoming transplant. Julie keeps me posted on Matthew's condition, and I will keep him and the whole family in my prayers.
Judy Gargus <j_gargus@hotmail.com>
Murray, Ky USA - Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 01:42 PM (CST)

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Hello Debbie,
Thank you for your journal entries. As my wife, Barbara, and I head to a stem cell transplant for her 14-yr. old son, Danny (ALL; second relapse), being able to learn from the experiences of other is invaluable. (We'll have our own CaringBridge, soon.) More importantly, though, we hope and pray for Matthew's and Danny's full recovery. We're tired of "learning;" we just want these boys, and all others like them, to go back to living normal lives. Take care. God bless you.
Jonathan Reid <jlreid@aeraenergy.com>
Bakersfield, CA - Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 10:49 AM (CST)

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HI DEBBIE AND MATTHEW. WE ARE THINKING ABOUT YOU AND PRAYING FOR YOU EVERYDAY. WE PRAY THAT THIS WILL ALL GO FAST AND WITH GLOWING RESULTS. IF YOU NEED ANYTHING DOWN AT THE HOSP. PLEASE CALL. WE MISS YOU! PAM AND ANGELA
PAM DIEDERICH <PDIEDE@YAHOO.COM>
OFALLON, MO USA - Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 02:43 PM (CST)

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Hi, it's 6:30 a.m., just started here at work. Matthew and all of you were on my mind so I thought I'd check on any news. We're praying day and night that all goes well. All our Love, Cathy and my family
Cathy Wallace <cwallace@psdr3.org>
- Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 06:47 AM (CST)

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- Monday, March 04, 2002 at 08:19 PM (CST)

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- Monday, March 04, 2002 at 07:03 PM (CST)

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Hey Matt,
Just wanted to say Hi from all of us in sunny but cold PCB, FL. Gram and Gramps are here and I know that they are anxious to get home and see you--hopefully it gets warmer there before they get home. Take care of yourself Matthew. We love you,
Unc Jay, Aunt Laurie, Lyric, and Taylor
Jay Hallemeier <DJHALLE@Knology.net>
Panama City Beach, FL USA - Monday, March 04, 2002 at 08:49 AM (CST)

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Matt, I'm right behind you. I'm 41 and was diagnosed with AML and ALL (Monosomy-7 and Philadelphia chromosone) on October 30. I'm looking for a transplant center and donor and will join you on the BMT journey probably in May. I've read your history and you are one tough guy and an inspiration to me. Like your mom, my wife (Susan) is a nurse and that gives us a big advantage in this fight. So hang tough. Our reward for beating leukemia is a level of strength and love-for-life that can't be obtained any other way. I know I want to start a family and take up writing for a career. Whatever your dreams are, beating this disease will launch you like a rocket in that direction! Susan and I will start to pray for you today and will watch your site for news as it comes. You can find me at http://www.caringbridge.com/va/inthecleftoftherock
Andrew Colletti <ASColletti@juno.com>
Springfield, VA - Monday, March 04, 2002 at 06:53 AM (CST)

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Matthew, you have a nice webpage, and I hope that the upcoming BMT will be uneventful, and very quick. When Jonny went through the same thing, he sprayed silly string all over as we walked out of the hospital. Just remember that this is your time to catch up on all of the tv shows that you like, and also to be pampered. We will be stopping back in to see how the BMT is progressing
Jake and Pat Barlett <JacobECONRAIL@AOL.COM>
Camden, Michigan United States - Saturday, March 02, 2002 at 01:50 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie ~
Love the new photo of Julie, Matt, and Chris! You've got a beautiful trio of kids there! I am so happy that you'll all be together for the weekend...........I hope you have a wonderful time! We have not stopped saying our special prayers for Matthew's impending BMT. We will stop by again soon to check in! Big hugs to you and the rest of your wonderful family! Take care! Love from Las Vegas, Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 05:27 PM (CST)

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Last night we were looking at old pictures and found a picture of Matt at 5th grade camp with a bunch of the boys from Bridgeway & Jason said that he wished there was a way to let Matt know he hopes all good things for him and today we were sent this website address by a friend - so we want Matt to know we are thinking of him and keeping him in our prayers.
The Bright Family - Dean, Diana, Jason & Jessica <dndbright@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 12:14 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew and family! It's early in the morning and I'm at work, was thinking of you and decided to drop in. I saw some of your pictures, you are getting very handsome. You know our prayers are with you and always have been. We've turned up the heat on them to full flame and have asked just about everyone we know to include you in their prayers, too. My kids would say I've even asked people I don't know, since I talk to everyone, even in elevators. Does your mom do that, too? Hugs from the Wallaces, Love, Cathy
Cathy Wallace <cwallace@psdr3.org>
Bridgeton, MO 63044 - Wednesday, February 27, 2002 at 06:56 AM (CST)

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Matthew, I don't know if you'll remember me, i was a friend of your sister's when we were younger. I just wanted to let you know that you are in me and my family's thoughts often. i hope your BMT goes extremely well and that your recovery is quick. if things start getting tough remember god always has an ear for listening. stay strong matthew, we're all pulling for you =)
Lisa Wallace <Lifegrd77@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 08:58 PM (CST)

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Matthew,
Hey! I just wanted to say "hi" and tell you that all of Julie's friends are thinking about you and wish you the very best! Oh, and if you ever need another grilled chicken breast, you know where to find it! (remember the Outback) ha ha!

Stephanie Watson (Julie's roomie) <stephanie.watson@murraystate.edu>
Murray, KY USA - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 09:50 PM (CST)

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Hello, Matt, I have been asking your Grandmother Fackler about you and she gave me your web site. Please know that you are in alot of prayers here at First UMchurch in St. Charles and we pray that you sense God's presence in your life blessing you as you prepare for the BMT.
Dorothy Dorrell <adorrell@mail.win.org>
St. Charles, MO St. Charles - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 04:37 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt
as a mom of a 13 (almost 14 year) old I can vouch you are a cutie with or without hair!
We will all be praying for you and the BMT
Chris
www.caringbridge.com/page/gooch
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
Bethel, CT - Saturday February 23, 2002 8:46 PM CST

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Hi Matthew. You don't know me--I'm a friend of a friend etc. I was notified of your situation from a friend in Rolla. I just want you to know that you have people praying for you all over the country. God is such an awesome God!!! He made us from particles of dirt--He designed our bodies--He knows exactly how everything works--and He is in total control of all situations! He CAN heal your body!!! All we can do is pray and ask for Him to heal you if it's His will and pray for you to have rest, comfort, and peace right now. We WILL be praying for you and your family and we will pray that your transplant goes well. Be confident and know that it's going to be okay!!
Jenny Ralls <bryanralls@hotmail.com>
Evington, VA USA - Saturday February 23, 2002 8:15 AM CST

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Hi, Matthew! You don't know me, but I am a friend of your Aunt Kim. Just wanted to let you know there are many people you don't know that will be keeping you in their thoughts and prayers. I believe a cousin of mine had the same form of Leukemia as you and the prayers did help. He also had a transplant (T-cells I think). Last year he was able to father his second child. Very healthy baby.
Ann F.
Rolla, MO - Friday February 22, 2002 6:35 PM CST

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Hi Debbie, Dirk and Matthew,
I've been thinking about all of you. Sounds like things are moving the right direction for now. First part of March would be great for the BMT. I'll keep checking here for the updates. Andy's home Wed. for dental work and Tracy finally decided on SEMO. And I agree with Matthew that hospital food is pretty bad. Go for the home cooking anytime!!
Pat Finnell <Blasier@aol.com>
- Monday February 18, 2002 3:24 PM CST

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Matthew, your mates in England are praying for you and are sorry you've been feeling so bad. And we're praying for your parents, too, because they must be so upset by this. My son of 17 has ALL too, and it's not fair on young guys who should be enjoying themselves. God bless, and hope that the counts go up and the temp down, for that transplant.
Gloria McShane (ALL-KIDS) www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Saturday February 16, 2002 2:57 PM CST

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Happy Valentine's Day, Matthew! I try to keep up with your web page, but I'm not always very good at finding computer time. We think about you and say a prayer for you every day. I hope that all goes well, and they can do the BMT in early March as scheduled. Hope to see you soon! Kim and family
Kim Janke <bkjanke@wavecomputers.net>
Rolla, MO USA - Thursday February 14, 2002 11:48 AM CST

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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY !!!!
We are all praying for you right now




Chris {Goochie's mom}
www.geocities.com/goochsplace

- Wednesday February 13, 2002 11:43 PM CST

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Hi Matthew, I do a little bit of work with you Dad and he shared your story with me today. Your dad is so proud of you! I also have a friend who's 1yr just had a transplant down in San Antonio on Feb 1st. Everything went great and little Jaxon is getting better each day. The same thing is going to happen for you!!! I will print off one of your pictures and place it next to Jaxon's...each day when I look at those pictures in my office I will pray for both of you to be healed and stay strong in the Lord. God Bless, Scott Richey
scott richey <srichey@prodigy.net>
benton, ar 72015 - Wednesday February 13, 2002 10:17 AM CST

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Hi! Matthew! I just typed you a message and it all erased while I was trying to find the right button to preview it. I guess these "new-fangled" gadgets are for the younger generation.
I'm in Poughkeepsie, NY. I am stsying with Kelley, Erin, Lauren and Benjamin while Russ and Stephanie are in Aruba.
It is new to me to "deal" with "kids". We are managing however. I don't think they have put too much over on me. I will be glad to get back home though.
We had snow yesterday--about two inches. It was pouring rain one minute and the next it was pouring snow. It was beautiful and didn't stick on the roads.
I just read your mothers write up on your web sight. I hope you are feeling better. We're all praying for your recovery. Love, Grandmother.
Grandmother Fackler <nuthazel22@aol.com>
St. Charl;es, MO USA - Tuesday February 12, 2002 9:30 AM CST

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great to hear you are home Matt!
And the beginning of March will be the beginning of your leukemia-free life!!!!
THANK GOD they have so many great matches for you!
We all cant wait to hear when they pinpoint the ideal person!
chris
www.geocities.com/goochsplace
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
Bethel, Ct - Monday February 11, 2002 11:17 AM CST

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Welcome Home Matthew!
I hope you are feeling better and that your weekend has been peaceful and relaxing! A 6/6 match is fantastic and March is just around the corner.......we are with you in spirit and sending good thoughts and prayers to you and your family every day!
Your friends in the desert, Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday February 10, 2002 11:30 AM CST

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Hi Mom!
Hope you are having a good day! I love you!
Julie
Murray, KY USA - Tuesday February 5, 2002 1:42 PM CST

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Matthew, I keep up with you through the ALL-Kids listserve. Count me in as one more person out here who is pulling for you. May the force be with you!!!
emmie
River Grove, IL USA - Tuesday February 5, 2002 7:25 AM CST

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Matthew
Hoping that you will be more comfortable real soon. We're sending prayers your way for a great donor and BMT. Our daughter Julia is 12 and has ALL.
Charlotte Boles <Zoom56K@aol.com>
Medford, NJ United States - Tuesday February 5, 2002 7:11 AM CST

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Matthew & Family,

Keep fighting. Spencer, 2 1/2 yrs. has had carboplatin without much complications. Best of luck that it is successful for you. We'll be praying for you as you start this series!!

Julie Mattson <mattson@cameron.net>
Cameron, MO USA - Sunday February 3, 2002 10:53 PM CST

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Matthew and Debbie,
All my prayers are with you. Keep up the fight. It is worth it. May God go before you.
Sue Thomas grandmother to Jonny dx 9/20/00 angel 12/27/01 <grandmasue@toast.net>
Toledo, Oh Lucas - Sunday February 3, 2002 9:28 PM CST

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Good thoughts and prayers coming your way from Ohio!

Bonnie (ALL-KIDS)
<http://www.caringbridge.com/page/jamiebowman>
Columbus, Ohio - Sunday February 3, 2002 8:00 PM CST

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Hi Matthew - from England, I'm sending you all the best wishes and prayers for a great donor match and a transplant that will cure you. My son Maximilian is 17 and has ALL too - we know what it's like and know how much you need support and hope from all over.
Gloria McShane (ALL-KIDS) www.caringbridge.com/page/msnowdon <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Monday January 28, 2002 4:02 PM CST

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Hi Matthew - from England, I'm sending you all the best wishes and prayers for a great donor match and a transplant that will cure you. My son Maximilian is 17 and has ALL too - we know what it's like and know how much you need support and hope from all over.
Gloria McShane (ALL-KIDS) <gmcshane@btinternet.com>
Richmond, North Yorkshire, England - Monday January 28, 2002 4:01 PM CST

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Hi! Matthew. It's grandmother. I've been keeping up with you on your website. Are you enjoying this good weather?
Do you think the RAMS can win again today? Some of my friends went down to get Baseball tickets yesterday and they said some people were starting to tailgate already.. I'd think they would be tired by the time of the game.(Probably have indigestion). I'll be in touch with your mother. I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you and praying for your recovery.
Grandmother <Nuthazel22@aol.com>
St. Charles, Mo. U S A - Sunday January 27, 2002 11:19 AM CST

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Hey Matt - I know you have a 16th birthday coming up, so I'm wondering what kind of car you might be wanting. (Hint for mom and dad). Rams/Eagles game this weekend. Go Rams! Talk to you soon. Keep your chin up, Matt! Love, Uncle Chris
Uncle Chris <challemeier@cfl.rr.com>
Orlando, FL USa - Friday January 25, 2002 9:40 PM CST

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Matthew,
I am a friend of your Moms from ALL-Kids. I just want you to know that you are in our pryaers. My son Tommy was dx with Leukemia in June 2001. I also have a older son whose name is Matthew he is 11.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you for a donor.

Dawn Gresham (Tommy's Mom) <bdmtg@hotmail.com>
Warrenville, SC - Friday January 25, 2002 10:03 AM CST

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Hi Matthew,

I have been following your progress thru ALL-Kids and just wanted to stop by and say I'm thinking of you and wishing you all the best in the weeks ahead. You have a beautiful family. My best wishes and prayers to you.
Laura <laurapiper@hotmail.com>
Hampton, IA USA - Tuesday January 22, 2002 10:48 AM CST

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Hi Debbie~
I hope by the time you read this that Matthew has been able to go home!! Wow, the snow sounds so pretty! I hope Matthew is able to enjoy some of it too! Our prayers are continuing out here in Las Vegas for a perfect match for Matthew soon. Take care, we are thinking of your family always!! Love, Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Sunday January 20, 2002 6:48 PM CST

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Hey Matthew,

I am on a listserv with your mom, that is how I found your web site. It is great to be able to get online and see pictures of you and your family. I know this is a tough time in your life (my daughter has leukemia as well) but soon this will all be behind you. Keep the faith and stay strong.

God Bless You,
Steven Hicks (Sarah Anne's Dad) <www.caringbridge.com/al/sarahanne>
Birmingham, AL -

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Matthew,
I'm praying they will find a perfect donor for you. I'm praying the transplant will go well and that you will be cured of this dreadful disease. I know you from ALL-Kids online. My daughter has ALL too. Take care!

Cindy Coffman <www.caringbridge.com/ga/hillarycoffman>
Cumming, GA USA - Saturday, January 12, 2002 at 09:32 AM (CST)

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Hi Matthew,

Thank you to your Mom for the update. I've been thinking about you over the past few days. I pray that you find the perfect MUD....80% are great odds! Hang in there!
Praying in California for you!
Anita Bernardo
Anita Bernardo <Maknardo@aol.com>
Granada Hills, Ca USA - Friday, January 11, 2002 at 08:55 PM (CST)

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Hello. I will be praying for you to find a great MUD.
I have a 5 yr old son with leukemia, and I know what a toll it takes on you
emotionally, spiritually and financially.
Please know that a lot of people are pulling for you all!
Chris
www.caringbridge.com/page/gooch
<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
bethel, CT - Friday, January 11, 2002 at 01:43 PM (CST)

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Dear Hallemeier Family,
My good friend Stacey Wada was so kind in sending me Matthews website. I just wanted to let you know that we are praying for Matthew and your family. By reading the past journal entries, I can tell that Matthew is a very special young man that has an exceptional family surrounding him. I hope that all goes well with the upcoming radiation. We will pray that the New Year brings nothing but health and happiness to your family.
Keep the Faith!
Anita Bernardo
Anita Bernardo <Maknardo@aol.com>
Granada Hills, CA USA - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 02:07 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie ~
Happy New Year to all of you as well. I am finding it hard to keep up on the ALL KIDS list lately, but I wanted you to know how often you and Matthew and the rest of your family is in my thoughts and prayers. A new year, a new beginning. I am praying for the radiation treatments to go quickly and easily for Matt. You have an amazing family!
Take care, Love, Stacey Wada

Stacey Wada <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Friday, January 04, 2002 at 12:37 PM (CST)

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Hi Debbie
My family & friends are all praying for your strength and Matthew's full recovery. Don't hesitate to let us know if we can do anything to help.
~Ang
Angela Hernton <ahernton@msn.com>
Florissant, Mo. USA - Friday, January 04, 2002 at 11:40 AM (CST)

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Angela Hernton <ahernton@msn.com>
Florissant, Mo. USA - Friday, January 04, 2002 at 11:32 AM (CST)

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Hi Debbie ~
Thank you so much for your informative journal entry today. You are an amazing lady and your writing is very friendly and easy to read. I feel like I am getting to know your family a little bit better. Needless to say, I am so happy to hear that Matthew is in good spirits! What a kid!! Attitude plays a BIG part in physical well being....I am glad his is a POSITIVE one! I am praying that all looks well enough for him to go home tomorrow and that you can all be together again. Christopher's NY journey sounds wonderful as well. Prayers (lots) are being sent for Julie or Chris to be Matt's perfect match. Thinking of your family,
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, December 29, 2001 at 11:57 PM (CST)

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Hi this is Sara (Austin's mom ) from ALL_KIDS. I hope this new year brings remission and good news. My family prays for Matthew every night. Take care and Gods blesssings-
Sara <sarafreking@earthlink.net>
Red Wing, MN - Saturday, December 29, 2001 at 10:01 AM (CST)

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Dear Matthew and Family,
I know you from the ALL kids website. I have just been part of it for about a month now. My 11 year old daughter was diagnosed with ALL 11-7-01. I'm so sad that you have relapsed. I'm praying that you will be cured. I know this time must be extremely difficult for you, but I think it is great you can keep your sense of humor with the nurses as your mom said you've been doing. I looked at your photo album- what a nice-looking family you all are!
Praying for you in Georgia,
Cindy Coffman
Cindy Coffman <cpcoffman@juno.com>
Cumming, GA USA - Saturday, December 29, 2001 at 06:45 AM (CST)

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Debbie and Matthew,
I will make sure that we say a special prayer for you both tonight. I know that it has got to be hard waiting expectally this time of year. Know that we will be praying and thinking about you both.
Dawn - Mom to Tommy
Dawn Gresham <bdmtg@hotmail.com>
Warrenville, SC USE - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 03:39 AM (CST)

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Hey Mathew, you have another hurdle to get over and you will face several more before your 80th birthday. You will get over this one and all the rest of them because you never face them alone. Your friends and family will help you face each one and you will laugh and enjoy life in between the challenges.
The Sligter Family <jsligter@connect.ab.ca>
Edmonton, AB CANADA - Saturday, December 22, 2001 at 08:30 PM (CST)

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Hi Hallemeier Family~
We're your friends from the ALL KIDS list just stopping by to say hello and that we are praying hard for you all. You are an absolutely gorgeous family!!
We wish you strength and peace during this difficult time. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. BIG HUGS to Matthew especially! Take care,
Bill, Stacey, Bryce, and Chad Wada
The Wada Family <SLW6204@aol.com>
Las Vegas, NV USA - Saturday, December 22, 2001 at 07:17 AM (CST)

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Matthew,
We are pulling for you here in the "Buckeye State"

Bonnie (ALL-KIDS)


http://www.caringbridge.com/page/jamiebowman
Columbus, Ohio - Saturday, December 22, 2001 at 01:56 AM (CST)

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Dear Matthew-

Lots of love and good thoughts coming to you from Gainesville, Florida.
Annie Thomas (from ALL-KIDS) <annie@geoplan.ufl.edu>
Gainesville, FL USA - Friday, December 21, 2001 at 06:25 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew, It has been a little while since I wrote to you and your family, but I've been checking on you regularly. We are all still praying that you get better very soon and can return to school in the fall. All our Love, Cathy
Cathy Wallace <cwallace@psdr3.org>
- Wednesday, June 13, 2001 at 02:47 PM (CDT)

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Hi Matt,
Just wanted to see how you were and let you know I've been watchin the Blues stomp the Stars in the playoffs. Looking forward to them goin all the way. You've been watching them haven't you? Send me an e-mail sometime; I'd love chattin with you.
Love, Uncle Jay
Jay Hallemeier <DJHALLE@aol.com>
PCB, FL USA - Sunday, May 06, 2001 at 10:33 AM (CDT)

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Hey matt,
I got your e-mail and i was wondering if you wanted to go to a cardinal game sometime this summer. We could get a bunch of friends together from school and go watch the game. Well Ill talk to you later,
Travis Long
Travis Long <Ramsfans01@aol.com>
St. Charles, MO US - Monday, April 23, 2001 at 08:58 PM (CDT)

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Good Morning Matthew and Family! I've been lurking around watching your progress, I can't tell you how much I want to see you having good days! Each day I say a little prayer for you (isn't that a song?) Deb, I can't imagine taking care of my own son the way you do, you must be one of the strongest people I know. Your friend, Cathy
cathy wallace <cmwal4@aol.com>
Bridgeton, MO USA - Wednesday, April 18, 2001 at 08:48 AM (CDT)

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Hey Happy Birthday Matt! Hope you got my silly card. Have a good one.
Love,
Uncle Chris
Chris Hallemeier <challemeier@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Thursday, March 29, 2001 at 04:31 PM (CST)

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Happy Birthday, Matthew!! We've been keeping up with your progress through your Web Page. It is a great way to know how you are doing. We think about you every day. It is amazing to realize that it has been almost a year since your first treatment. Hopefully the rest will go by quickly. Your trip to Murry State sounds like fun. It will be neat to have a celebrity for a sister. Ha! I'm glad you can wait on some of your chemo until you get back.

The kids are on Spring Break this week. It is sure hard to keep the house clean with them home. They are VERY creative. Our house is still for sale, but we will be moving the first weekend in May. We are very excited.

We hope to make it to St. Louis soon, and we hope we can stop and see you. Have a great birthday.

With love, Aunt Kim, Uncle Brian, Elizabeth, Michael, and Nicholas
Kim Janke <bkjanke@fidnet.com>
Rolla, MO U.S.A. - Thursday, March 29, 2001 at 10:28 AM (CST)

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hi, it's aunt shannon and uncle ervin, were checking up on your progress. Sounds like a nitemare at the clinic with all the screaming kids, kinda like my house hugh? I wish this could all be over with for you and we feel bad that you have to go through this, but you sure have a lot of family and friends supporting you. This web page is an awesome idea!!!!! High Five, to whoever thought this one up!!! My kids have spring break this week and are already driving my crazy! I wish it was a little warmer so i could send them outside to play, is'nt spring suppose to be here now????? Hmmmmm??? Well, we hope your feeling better by the time you get this note. Hang in there. Each day over is a day closer to finishing all those treatments. Love, Aunt Shannon and Uncle Ervin
shannon and ervin fackler <facklerhome@aol.com>
winfield, mo lincoln - Saturday, March 24, 2001 at 04:52 PM (CST)

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hi matthew, grandmother gave us your web address. This is so cool. Our computer is new as of xmas so we are still learning how to use it. I sure hope you are feeling better. With spring in the wings maybe things will brighten up. take care. Aunt Shannon and uncle Ervin
shannon Fackler <facklerhome@aol.com>
winfield, mo lincoln - Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 05:13 PM (CST)

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Matt, you have alot of friends in Festus praying for you. We ask God to take extra special care of you because you are an extra special person to all of us. I admire your courage and strength. Knowing that you are dealing with everything as well as you do motivates me to deal with my tiny problems. Jesus loves you and so do I! Your friend in Jesus, George Spicer

- Friday, March 09, 2001 at 02:07 PM (CST)

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Matthew,
This is your Counselor speaking. HELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOO MATTHEW(Have I got your attention?) Hey Matt- whatcha think of the last memo I sent you? Regarding the biology and course selection for next year. You and I need to talk about it. I am not the kind of counselor who makes decisions for my kids, I make them WITH my kids. And "we" are on a time crunch. I'm just about completed with freshman pre-registration WHICH INCLUDES YOU. soooooooooooo we gotta talk. Plus, I'm concerned about the bio. School's phone is 213-8051 x8065. or you have my email. Thanks Matt.

Ms Cooper <victoriastl@hotmail.com>
- Friday, March 09, 2001 at 10:55 AM (CST)

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Matt, You don't know me, but I'm part of the prayer chain that is lifting you up to the Lord! Always remember when times seem tough, that so many people are praying for you, and asking about you! We started praying for you at my church last summer, and people are still coming up to me asking how you're doing! I'm thankful for this website, so we can now check on you. You're mom took care of my father-in-law while he was in DePaul after knee surgery. God has provided you with the best nurse around! He will see you through every situation, and you'll never go through anything without His strength. God Bless YOU!
Cathy Nordgaarden <touchofgrace@juno.com>
Maryland Heights, MO - Thursday, March 08, 2001 at 08:12 AM (CST)

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MATT WASSUP MAN THIS IS JOE COLEMAN. I'VE MISSED U AND I KNOW A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE MISS U TOO.I WISH I COULD COME AND VISIT BUT I CAN'T STOP CATCHING THESE VIRUSES GOING AROUND. I MADE THE GOLF TEAM AND I'M DOING ALRIGHT IN SCHOOL. I MISS HANGING OUT WITH U AND I THINK OF THE TIMES WE HAD CLASSES DURING ELEMENTARY AND MIDDLE SCHOOL AND U ALWAYS MADE ME LAUGH WITH ALL THE JOKES U USE TO TELL.ILL KEEP WRITING TO U AND IF U EVER WANT TO TALK OR SAY SOMETHING IM ME AND ILL SEE YA LATER
JOE COLEMAN <JLCOOL24@AOL.COM>
BRIDGETON, MO UNITED STATES - Tuesday, March 06, 2001 at 08:02 PM (CST)

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Hi Matthew,
Just received your web address from Uncle Chris about an hour ago and wanted to send you a message from all of us that we were thinking of you and now you have a better way of communicating with your friends and family.
When I talk to Grandpa and Grandma they aren't able to tell me everything so this is a great way to let us know how you are.
So are you looking forward to the Cardinal season and are you following the Blues?
You have a lot of nice messages from your friends at school and your teacher; I'll bet your looking forward to the day you can go to school and enjoy your friends.
Take care Matt. Lyric, Taylor, Laurie, and I think of you often.
Uncle Jay
Jay Hallemeier <DJHALLE@aol.com>
Panama City Beach, FL USA - Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 03:00 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt,

Just got your URL from Grandma and Grandpa. Hope you're feeling alright. Love, Uncle Chris
Chris Hallemeier <challemeier@hotmail.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 03:39 PM (CST)

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Hey Matt,
How are ya doing. We sure miss you at school. hope you are feeling better and everything is ok. if you ever need anyone to talk to just IM me or email me. But hey I'll talk to ya later. TOAST!!!!!! ha ha ha :-)
Ashley Brands <PrettyNpink000@cs.com>
Maryland Heights, MO 63043 - Friday, March 02, 2001 at 02:13 PM (CST)

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Matt
Hi, I got your website yesterday and I wanted to know how you were doing. Everyone misses you at school, especially everyone at the lunch table. I wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going this. All of the kemo must really be hard. I hope you will feel better asap and come back to school. Bye and get well soon, Jason Bright
Jason Bright <Extreem7>
Bridgeton , MO USA - Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 09:26 PM (CST)

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Hello Matt,
I dont know you but I have heard about you at school and it is really sad that any kid has to fight the battle you are right now. When its all over and your cancer free, everyone will know who the toughest kid in the school is. See ya.Get well soon.
SECRET PRAYER
Bridgeton , MO USA - Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 03:51 PM (CST)

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Hey Matt,
This is Travis, I was just wondering what you were up to and how you were doing. I moved to St. Charles. I got your website today. I hope to talk to you soon and I will probably write again . See Ya, Travis Long
Travis Long <Ramsfans01>
St. Charles, MO U.S - Wednesday, February 28, 2001 at 06:55 PM (CST)

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Hey Matt!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry you're having that painful chemo again, I'll bet you hate it. I wish I could something for you. Take care buddy..


Ms Cooper
- Wednesday, February 28, 2001 at 01:32 PM (CST)

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Hello Matt. We just got your website address today. All of us wish you well and want you to know you are missed at school. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Ms. Hauser, Mr. Schamber and Ms. Melvin

- Monday, February 26, 2001 at 01:18 PM (CST)

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Hi Matt!
I can't help but wondering how you feel about this website. I hope your OK with it, I can tell you that I'm VERY happy to have an email address for you. I want you to know how often I think of you!
What happened that you ended up in ER last weekend? It's not affecting your hair is it?? You know I want to see it. I'm sorry that I couldn't see you the previous week, I had heard that you ended up back in the hospital. You can't get out of seeing me that way you know (just kidding).
I'm optimistic you'll write back, I trust you don't want to let me down.
Also, I'm prepared for my Playstation 2 Challenge. Are you?
Write Back (please)
Ms Cooper
Ms. Cooper <victoriastl@hotmail.com>
Maryland Hts. , MO USA - Monday, February 26, 2001 at 11:05 AM (CST)

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Matthew-
I just wanted to tell you that I hope you feel better soon and to hang in there!! I think we both have special guardian angels looking over us. We will be the strongest kids ever when we are through with all of our treatments. I will probably see you again soon at the hospital. Keep your chin up and keep the faith!!! Sincerely -Alexandria Haddock (age 7 and a half with ALL too)
Alexandria Haddock <AGHaddock@msn.com>
Ellisville, MO 63011 - Monday, February 26, 2001 at 10:49 AM (CST)

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If you have time e-mail me.
Sam Hallemeier <soccersfun14@yahoo.com>
St. Charles, Mo USA - Sunday, February 25, 2001 at 06:39 PM (CST)

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